Witness one of the most broken, pointless, and frustrating RPGs ever to blight the world: AD&D – Heroes of the Lance, a game with broken hit detection, unforgivably bad graphics, and the cheapest frigging enemies ever.
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{ 49 comments }
Somehow this is the review I keep getting back to over and over and over again. The cynical tone and the razorsharp rants are just perfect!
My favorite Spoony-review (apart from the Phantasmagoria-series of course).
Man, I sympathize with you; they don’t make that many good DnD games.
But what I can’t figure out is how you can stand to play these bad games. Doesn’t it hurt you? Deeply?
Anyway, keep rockin’ it. Love the new site design!
I have this, never beat it yet, but watching this wants to make me try it again. Those Dragonmen are annoying, but theres a trick to beatin them easy, Fire a Sleep spell at them, then hammer them to little tiny bits and your good. Those dwarfs however are that annoying, havent found an easy way to kill em
Haha, Is this a door? Ahhhh
As a major fan of Dragonlance i had heard of these games but never had i thought they would have been so EPICALLY BAD! Thank you Spoony for helping keep my sanity by showing me i should never play these games.
keep up the good work and Gratz on the nod from Yahtzee
Gods, I would kill to play a campaign with Spoons. Then again, I’m far too much of a beginner to be bothered with. And because I am, I can’t get any experience and I never get to play…. *crys lonely nerd tears*
Anyway. Beautiful one, can’t beleive I passed it over time and time again.
what a shitty game !
Not only is it one of the worst games ever gameplay wise, it’s really glitchy!
Nice, KODT in the Background
Wow that game sucked. Good review though. It’s too bad Dragon Lance doesn’t translate well outside of the books.
There is also a crappy DVD as seen here:
http://www.crapculture.ca/artical.php?thisone=78
Fans of this series, hang your head in shame.
haha I was sitting at my computer at work doing quality control…for software nonetheless…while listening to this….no one knew I was listening to this till I got to 7:10 and let out a rampid snort out of no where…I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe…..”and the music never changes….nu nu nu nu NU NU NU NU NU….”
This was my second favorite review besides the ultimate review on phantasmagoria II! Hey I think i can even get away w/ listening to this at work….since I’m involved w/ the “what not to do before this software gets published” crew.
“ive seen 5 year olds playing cowboys and indians with better hit detection” Made my day, you rule!!!!
If you’ll DM sometime, I’ll get the men. We’ll bring our dice too.
I have to say I absolutely love your frustration for the game. I want to smash my monitor, that’s how frustrated I get watching you play.
What’s the intro music called? Thanks.
I remember actually TRYING to get this game when I was younger, because I loved the book series… All I can say is thank god I never found it.
*coughcoughusemagiccoughcough* Mages usually have glass chins :p
But anyway… yeah. Looks bad. Too complicated… it scares me. Me no likey complicated things, it hurts my brain.
Why is the cover art from the Legend of Huma book instead of the one from Dragons of Autum Twilight?
Yeah…..Good story- not so much a good game.
Hell, that looks downright infuriating to play.
haha… this brings back bad, bad memories of when i was maybe 7 or 8, and my older brother was into these books, so we rented this game… i remember standing on top of the random swords or bags of gold for close to an hour, freaking the hell out trying to pick the damn thing up. this was the only game i remember actually trying to return early that we had rented
That’s freaking hilarious…thanks for bringing back my childhood :)
Lol that game really looked like it sucked. A good AD&D console game is AD&D: Pool of Radiance for the NES. It basically takes the actual paper and pencil game and converts it to the console control. You roll up characters, purchase your gear, and go kick monster ass. The best part is you can play with up to four friends if you don’t mind controller passing.
I also noticed that I have the Heroes of the Lance miniatures set XD
Damn technical problems! I love this review, but it got 3/4 of the way through and then just ended. D:
WHY OH WHY
reminds me of AVGN’s Terminator review for the NES.
When you arrived at the first naked dwarf, I starting yelling at you (yeah, like you could hear me) to use Tas or Flint to kill the dwarf, only to realize that it was pointless all around because you still have to hit downwards… ugh. Why was this game made?! I’m so glad I never played it! I think I’ll stick to the books and the crappy movie they made.
That may be an odd comparison, but the music from this game sounds like “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” at some point. Or maybe that’s because I saw “Manhunter” yesterday.
This is such an atrocious game. But everything dealing with Dragonlance (outside of the books) tends to be atrocious.
They made a crappy movie too:
http://crapculture.ca/?r=article&i=78
I’m sure there’s an awful radio drama about it that no one knows about.
I dont really know why, but of all your reviews this is the one I keep comming back to. I guess its because I love that its just pure unadultered nerdrage. Well maybe I just like hearing you say “stabbin’im in the nuuts” with the horrible 8-bit beat in the background.
Oh, to pick up stuff on the ground, you need to pause the game, and use the “Take” command.
Oh, Spoony <3 This remains one of my favorite videos of yours of all time.
OMG mini naked zombie Sean Connery
I had the Amiga version of this game, and played it to completion once. It’s much, much better than this worthless PC conversion. On the other hand, I tried it again on an emulator not long ago and I couldn’t get anywhere in it.
dwarf enemy= mini naked zombie sean connery
I couldn’t stop giggling all through this review. It was fantastic.
Incidentally, have you considered doing a review of that animated Dragon Lance film that came out a while back? I’m sure it’s an obvious thing to mention and others probably already have, but on the off chance…
This was the first time I'd ever seen The Spoony One as far as I know…I've been a fan ever since
i think this was probably the worst game you've reviewed because the game wasn't even playable!
i think this was probably the worst game you've reviewed because the game wasn't even playable!
This review reminded me of the lamest D&D death ever. A character was down to only 2 hit points when a Brownie ran up and stabbed him in the leg. That was .. 2 hit points worth of damage. Yeah, its a shame to die by Brownie.
I feel sorry for you Spoony. I got to play Tunnels of Doom on Ye Olde Texas Instruments when I was a kid. For its time (1982), it was awesome. You should look up the game and try it-they have emulators for it.
I still can't help but chuckle at the price tag on”Ye Olde Cardboard Scroll” Spoony is holding at the start of this. It really says something about Spoony's talent at snarking in general when you consider a person like me, who has barely any knowledge of the D&D universe (besides knowing that the franchise exists, and Spoony's explanation via his V logs) can still be entertained by these reviews after seeing them atleast 9-10 times.
Oh lord, I've seen better schlock for games on Kongregate. I especially cracked up when you were in the hoodie behind the game board. It looked to me like some kind of cray hobo of something.
Wow, the Wikipedia article for this game was oddly positive. Seeing as the references for how notoriously bad it was were already laid out, I went and fix'd it for 'ya :3
Heh, you can actually beat this game in about ten minutes if you know the correct route.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOt3vi7KOSM
Dear lord, is this is bad game. It truly is awful! When I first played, I kept trying to go across the pit, but what you know, I wasn't supposed to. What game starts you off in front of a door and then expects you to go through it?
Even though I do not play D&D and don't even plan to, he balances his nerdiness with common knowledge well.
This was the first game I ever played when I got my NES back when I was 4 years old. I had the same obsession with that massive chasm on the right side of the screen. I think I played the game for about 20minutes before I gave up. When I saw Spoony's review, now 20 years after nightmares have faded, my first thought was “That game had a menu screen?” x.x
Prison Shank your enemies in this fun title. lmao
BEWARE THE SACRILEGE!
BEWARE THE SACRILEGE!
Ah, classic old school Spoony. Just a man, a cam and a rant. Nothing fancy, just straight up low-budget planet-exploding nerd rage. You can’t hate it. You just can’t.
Dragonlance ftw! Gosh it felt bad seeing these characters die so easily.
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