The Thing Review

I actualy liked this game, but after the review I hated it so much that I could’n play it. Thanks. :D

this game reminds me of socom except socom wasnt shitty

“Colins? Colins? What the fuck is he doing?! Is he…is he *riverdancing*?”

Always, always funny.

Gears 2 COMPLETELY ripped off the end of this game, to be honest.

wow AVGN said this game was good but basing a good movie on a shitty game sucks real hard so many fuse boxes its crazy

the riverdancing joke was SOOOOOOOOOO funny! This is one of my favourite videos of all time!

My friends and I do the Riverdancing Collins dance every time there’s an awkward pause in the conversation (and people tend to give us strange looks. But we don’t care!). Probably the most hilarious music ever put to a video game EVER. This has to be my favorite stand-alone video game review ever, Phantasmagoria being my MOST favorite.

I HEARD that, Curtis!!

You’ve been wanting to do the What is Love joke forever haven’t you.

ANYHOW. This is like my favorite review ever. You have the reaction an average gamer would have, and you make it funny. Kudos man. And mind your health in these cold months. Remember! Walls are your friend!

I never knew what the hell was wrong with the protagonist’s voice. He sounds as if he is shitting a sandpaper dump.

Puking part is freaking awesome.

XD My lord, I just loved the river dancing joke, I find it funny when stuff like that happens in games but when some one points it out to you its even more funny

I find you to be quite funny even though your being quite serious. And your qualms with the various games you’ve reviewed is actually quite justified. All i hve to say is, nice job, extremely nice job. = w=

Noah, this was a funny ass review as usual, and it was nice to be able to actually relate to your criticisms. Meaning that most of the other games you review such as turn based RPGs were never my cup of tea, but that is what really makes you ripping on them so great. It’s kinda funny, but I remember playing this sometime around 2003. However, I have no idea how I managed to find it tolerable, even after the fact it shits on the source material(this was probably due to the fact this was one of the first games I downloaded free, and figured out how to install, and run it.) “The Thing” is hands down a top 5 sci-fi/horror classic, so there is no way in hell they could have pleased us hard-core fans. As for the Max Payne comment, I think that was reaching a bit. There is no doubt “fire levels” are so fucking cliche with survival horror these days, but I wouldn’t call the weak ass attempt made with “The Thing game” a blatant rip-off of MP. I think anyone who did a little back tracking would find several games before Max Payne that had fire levels as well. Regardless this is hilarious stuff, keep up the great work!

lol after i first saw this review, i couln’d believe how hard they screwed up that game….and just to see really how bad the game was, two days later i bought the game for 5$ and….i really made a mistake.

thanks Spoony you save my money,i almost buy that “Thing” now i buy a better game.yeah thanks

I bought this game in Game Station on Xbox only for about £1 and most the glitches I get is one of your teamates standing still even when you told them to follow you. I was disapointed to not find the glitch where Collins is riverdacing. The reason I stopped playing it is because the blowtorch and the flamethrower keeps on hurting me more often than the things.

I too, was really hyped about this game.
I traded it back after playing it once, getting to the first ‘headcrab-a-things’, blowing away hundreds of them, and thinking “Well, the Thing was a nigh-unstoppable, cunning creature able to turn into combinations of the most dangerous creatures it’s ever encountered and absorbed or just mimic them exactly and it chooses THESE!? LAAAAAAME!”
Also, I too was disappointed at the very basic morality\trust system. I totally fell for the hype… and I remember this game was hyped a lot.

Thanks for playing it through, though and letting me see the ending. Totally convinced me I did the right thing by trading it straight back to the store for a different game after one half-hour play session!

I remember this game and it… suck… I saw movie and… well movie was pretty disturping. There where like guy´s in some in Antarctica and they find… U.F.O remains… yay!! And then dogs get mad *splish slpash* Aaarghhh… Okau so… The Thing – game ummm… Well what I remember about this game… nothing!! I played this on PS2 but why… why I don´t remember it? Maybe it was so bad that I take with a spoon, piece of my brains out hope for that I won´t remember this… horrible game. Bad bad game… bad! Noah!! Come to my place so I can spank you and haard ;P Just kidding… dammit… I should stop drinking right now… But Movie was… good but disturping and the game… *drink some Sandel´s* Whatta piece of shit..

P.S. I hope you get it what was saying… bad english… so solly…

Yeah i agree i was really hyped up aswell i loved the movie but this game was just terrible it’s the biggest piece of shit i ever had the misfortune to play

Really, Spoony ? This game had bad graphics ? For 2002 ? Are you blind ? Graphics were quite awesome back then, they still look nice, and most importantly game engine was FAST.

I PLAY THIS SHIT ARGGGG

I remember loving this game back when I got it. I played it last year and it’s just okay now. Not terrible, but not very good. I think my love for The Thing movie pulled me through it.

Oh, and the first game I can remember where you escape from an exploding building was X-Men 2: Clone Wars (I think that was the title), for Sega.

Well this game does look like a painfully average, dull thing, which is actually worse than a laughably bad game I think. I notice it was made by Vivendi, who made The Fellowship of the Ring, a beautiful-but-not-much-more game which I loved as a kid but find painfully easy and repetitive now. It’s still fun and atmospheric though, you should give it a try…

Spoony…Legend as always!!!!

Yeah, I remember playing this game, that part with Collins cracked me up a LOT, but yeah, apparently they programmed it that once you passed a certain checkpoint, if you had any soldiers with you, they immediately turned into “Things” as to make you start alone again……STUPID PROGRAMMING. If they wanted you to start without the soldiers after a certain spot, just have a monster arm reach out and grab/kill your group, easy, simple, and keeps you on your toes cause that’d had been freaky as shit!

the game wasnt all THAT bad, though it was very dull. Though I disagree with Spoony’s review, its still fun as hell to watch, since Spoony is the master at bitching about pointless and little things in an incredibly funny way.

Hes right though, there was no point bloodtesting your group, but the game wasnt bugged like spoony said. it was SCRIPTED in certain parts that you should not have any friends in it, and thats why some friends which were just fine and not infected, suddenly became so when they walked through a certain spot. Thats still bullshit of course.

Mostly that occurred in the ending of a level, or before boss, which just kind of throws the whole group-thing out of the window, real flaw in game designing that.

There was only one memorable guy in group though (besides the finnish guy engineer mofo who pwned everything and never really said anything.), and it was this wussy engineer in this one level, you save him when hes about to get executed by these soldiers, and after you give him a gun, he changes his wuss-mode into a badass-mode, and completely pwns every enemy around, and yells things like: “Take this you bitch! ” or “Eat this you fuck!” :D