This episode tackles the most annoying of all minigames: the thirty hour side quest known as Triple Triad. Everyone’s doing it! It’s time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!
Do you actualy play Yu-Gi-Oh?
I enjoy pissing fanboys off too. And on that note I agree with you, Naruto is not a ninja! He’s just a possesed emo punk. Have you ever seen a ninja that wears Orange?
naruto sucks ive seen the first 2 mins and i was freaked out wtf is sexjitsu after he shouts tht out loud he turns into a naked woman
sourounded by smoke its freaky!
Well, aside from your rants, Kefka’s song is the best part of this game so far. Which, of course, isn’t in this game.
Haha, nice Big Lebowski reference.
I thought that the Blitzball mini-game in Final Fantasy X was cool but I didn’t much care for the other mini-games.
Keep up the good work Spoony, I think that your music intro is awesome and that your Final Fantasy VIII review is one of your best.
there’s no card game in shenmue :D
Oh, Towers of Hanoi how I loathe you.
You made a KOTOR and a Big Lebowski reference you sir are now my favorite.
There is this action RPG called Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories. The entire battle system is card battles. P.S. the other two Kingdom Hearts games don’t have any card battles, but both have a world made of minigames, and also made by Square Enix. Okay the first one was made by Squaresoft but they are the same thing.
That STD illustration of the card rule is exactly how I’ve always described it, as well. I’m wondering if someone at Square was actually thinking of that when they came up with it.
How about a game of Lucky Hit. Haha just brilliant.
FF8 indeed is the worst FF game EVER. Even X-2 is better.
Okay, 1st off the Blitzball mini-game isn’t a card game, it’s more like underwater soccer/football which the only complaint I have there is how it’s nigh impossible to sustain air for more then 5 minutes underwater.
2nd I don’t see why it sucks, I mean yeah if you want the stuff for Wakka’s Overdrive and his Ult weapon you’ll have to play a lot so it’ll get repetitive, but other then that it’s pretty barebarable
I really don’t get why X has such a bad rap, okay I’ll admit some of the VA and the lip syncing was bad but other then that it was a pretty good game.
dude, i never changed the original rules, there’s a way to play with no new rules, just the original, I FUCKING HATE the aditional rules, but I also liked to play the card game with no new rules ^^
You said its been 17 years since you played it. FF8 hit stores in 99. Its only been out for 10 years. =/
Screw you Spoony.
Katamari Damacy has AMAZING music and is great despite making me want to shave my legs and watch musical theater for some reason.
OK I totally agree with this.
I fucking hate FF mini games as it is, but this…THIS TOOK THE PISS >:(
This game looks awful, but then again all final fantasy games look like trash. Maybe because I don’t like animu stuff. Good stuff though spoony.
I find it kinda funny how your ment to be on this world saving adventure traviling through space and time to defeat a powerful, menacing force…and still find the time to point you finger at 7 year old kids saying “neener neener” while you take his prized Dark Magician.
“Ugh Squall aren’t we on a quest to save humanity.”
“Well we’ll move on to that when I win my Shiva back from that stupid queen of cards”
I admit I enjoyed Tetra Master in FF9 but I cannot actually express why, especially because I DETEST Triple Triad. I cannot stand this card game. Which is odd, because the fundamental rules (before you get into the ridiculousness of other rules and town rules and blah, blah, blah) aren’t that different from Tetra Master.
God damn Triple Triad. Just… uuuugh.
You, sir, win massive points for making a reference to Shenmue II. Rock on.
Yeay for Katamari Damacy… that was the best part of the video … except the bad teacher -giggles- she’s so hot…
wait was he knocking Katamari or supporting it? I LOVED that game… come on spoony your not being an jerk are you?
Hmm i love RPG and would love to play D&D but i dont have the imagination, but i hate turned based games, seems to slow for me and as you said busy work, same animations 95% of the time. Reminds me of Digimon 2 for the Ps1 :P
The card games are one of the things I could have done without in ff8. Esp the random rule. I hardly even played it while playing ff8 because there is no need to. Once I had my Laguna card, I was happy to pretend the others didn't exist.
Due to all the time travel, splinter dimensions, parallel universes, and the obscene boredom this game causes Noah was actually born in 1989 but is now somehow over 28. The card game could be to blame.
hey lovin the review! but whats that song in the middle its bugin the hell outta me!
Haha I feel so stupid now :P when you said this was someone from youtube, i thought: “this is really good! I gotta check that guys channel!”, and then i thought: “he does sound a lot like noah, must be a coincidence”
how stupid i was =.=
kinda want to play spooney at mtg now
Yay! Kefka theme song for the start, only problem is that it was from the GBA mix. Still awesome though because VI was the best in the entire series.
I fucking love these reviews. This is my second watch-through and god-fucking-DAMN they are hilarious. Thank you whatever god or mystical force exists that the world – and more specifically, the internet – has Spoony, Linkara, NC, and the entirety of channel awesome to keep us laughing.
Damn, I so needed a pick me-up like this. I’ve got my fingers crossed that FFX part 3 will come out before I go in for surgery on the 7th. YE HERE THAT, INTERNET GODS? BEFORE THE 7TH! (Don’t make me call up the devil!)
I’ve never played FF8 and from what I’ve read of your review so far, I don’t think I’d be interested. When it comes to RPGs, I prefer easy to understand, intuitive systems. Not so easy I can go on autopilot but no so difficult that increasing my stats becomes a guessing game.
As for mini-games, I tend not to enjoy them because they tend to distract you from the plot. I actually enjoyed blitzball, though because I’m actually pretty good at it. The first game is frustrating and hard but after that you discover that somehow you’re maybe the third best team in the league, and once you level your guys up they can actually do some pretty cool things.
i liked pazzack
but triple triad sucked
Can’t tell if the Katamari reference was positive or negative… Maybe it was neither. But I thought it was a fun puzzler, if you can get past the ungodly fruity overtones. Interesting work of art as far as games go. Not recommended for drug addicts, would probably freak ‘em out in a big way.
The card games in RPGs are indeed a bit ridiculous. I don’t mind them as side things that you aren’t required to mess with aside from like one little five minute mission, like Pazzak in KotoR… but I don’t wanna be forced into those things. Give me poker, or solitaire, or chess in a game. That’s cool, that’s awesome. But to heck with these crappy card games I would never play again outside of one specific RPG. I don’t understand the rhyme or reason behind learning a whole card game, then never using that info IRL or even in the following games. What is the point? That’s space for information that my head could use learning spanish or programming or something. It’s nonsense. =/ Teach us something useful, RPG Industry.
Oh hai Spoony, you’re looking very archivey and youngfag today.
On the subject of pointless bullshit minigames in the consoles. Let’s talk Fable series for a second.
One thing that PISSES ME OFF is all the critics, commenters, fans, and other hackholes saying “OMG teh job systems is easy money do bartending and woodcutting and piemaking for teh win!”.
And I just want to slap Baby Jesus in the face when I hear this.
In F2 & F3, there’s these sidequest ‘jobs’ available to earn money. They’re all kind of time-based ‘press X at the exact correct second to win’, and they are all boring as fuck to do.
But! If you don’t buy any of the irrelevant bullshit costumes, and just put all your money into real estate and set prices low, you get ALL the money ALL the time, AND your Purity score increases and EVERYONE in the WORLD loves the shit out of you.
Just do the real estate tycoon thing, and save the fucking world.
SO easy. Effortless, in fact.
But everyone who talks about this game is a goddamn retard, they say that the way to riches is to spend dozens and dozens of hours watching a little light swinging back and forth on a track, and punching the button at the right moment.
It’s not bad enough Molyneux punches every gamer in the nuts, but THEY THANK HIM FOR IT?
I was getting so upset watching the card games and thinking “hate, hate, HATE”
But then Katamari popped up at the end and I don’t care whether it was a joke or not, FUCK YEAH KATAMARI, that’ll eliminate all of the bad memories from that skanky game.
As soon as the Queen took your Ifrit card, not only did I feel a bit of vicarious rage, I actually felt the familiar urge to reset the game! I’d always questioned the sanity of my FFVIII-replaying friends because of the repetitive Draw system, but the frustration of trying to collect cards had scarred over in my mind. Until now. Wow, to think that the irritated “reset-the-game after losing Triple Triad” response lies dormant-but-ready in the mind of a gamer after years of not using it.
Thirty hour sidequest?! That is fucking insane. I don’t really like sidequests in games but they’re okay if they don’t take long and you get a decent reward at the end. Harkening back to the classic that is OoT, getting a top score in the mini games gave you a bigger bomb bag or quiver and this had a purpose as you progress. Of course there are two I can think of that were pointless at least to me, not counting the Giant’s Knife: getting all 100 Skulltulas gives you only Rupees (1st 30/40 give good awards) and the Biggoron Sword sidequest, just use the Megaton Hammer in the final battle xoxo
Just for your info, Might and Magic 6 and 7 had those card games as side quests too, and came out in ’98, a little year before FFVIII.
Did you just make fun of katamari damacy?
I can tell you how that works! Better yet I’ll show you! Kamen Rider Blade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnF4eLXsDT8 Well only they don’t play some douchy card game and instead its part of God’s plan to have one dominating species
ahhhh….oooooh, frickin direct…yeah that sucks
You don’t actually have to play pazaak in KOTOR. I didn’t, I just did the swoop races.
You don’t actually have to play pazaak in Knights of the Old Republic. or at least I never did. I only did the swoop races because it actually involved something. I mean who wants to play a card game in a…. Oh, sorry Spoony.
Yeah that’s true but at least pazaak wasn’t overly complicated. I mean if you know how to play blackjack, then pazaak was pretty easy and a fun little diversion.
Ahhh…nothing to cleanse away the pain like a refreshing chorus of the “Katamari Damaci” theme song! Thank you for being merciful.
Uh, Spoony, seventeen years prior to when you did this review was 1990, when the original Final Fantasy was released. If I remember correctly, you’re about the same age as my brother and he was in his late teens when FFVIII came out. Did you somehow confuse your first Final Fantasy, which was allegedly a good gaming experience, with FFVIII? Does your psychological trauma from playing these games go all the way to the very beginning?
I actually liked Tetris Master from FFIX, but one of the reasons is that it was the first Final Fantasy game I played. I think the game was awesome along with Chocobo Hot and Cold. But Goddamn did they frustrate the hell out of me. Collecting all the cards was difficult as hell and following those really obscure maps to find those treasures as well as finding the unmarked treasures was f!@#ing impossible. Then there was losing the cards you collected. It could’ve been so much better. Maybe if your opponent got a copy of the card you lost, so that if you lost you wouldn’t have to try and reclaim your lost copy of your best card. And don’t even get me started when someone made a perfect game against with a card that beats everything you can possible have or a card that you just feel shouldn’t have beat you card. The actual elemental types had to be memorized by you, because they influenced the game, but they never explained this. It was ridiculous yet so addicting. So I get where you are coming from here.
I can usually take or leave mini-games. Some are fun, some are pointless. What I cannot stand is when they make a mini-game required for the plot. If I baught an RPG, I wanted to play RPGs. Maybe I suck at cards, maybe rhythm games make me ball up into a mass of badly aimed rage, but when I put in the disk, I wanna play an RPG, so the developer should respect that.
I hate all this “Eastern RPGs are stupid” or “FPSes are for meatheads” bull, since if you don’t like a genre don’t play it, but that’s sort of the point. If you don’t like a genre, then you shouldn’t have to play it to enjoy a genre you DO like.
Yeah when the “queen of cards” plays her “minus one” rule where all your cards have a negative one in all values, that’s BULL SHIT.. I got so sick of that card game in FF 8 I STOPPED PLAYING IT and I was better for it.
Jade Empire had Dice, if I remember correctly.
Actually I believe Jade Empire had 1942-like flying shooter segments that could be nerfed and ignored if you didn’t care, but I liked em.
Edit:Also you’re totally right, I forgot the dice game.
And now we have Caravan in Fallout New Vegas… at least it’s easy.
I think it was this game that started my hatred for side-quests in RPG. At least in Phantasy Star IV, you can do the side quests and in most cases level up your characters before doing the next main quest. But these days side quests are just plain stupid. And don’t even get me started on Blitzball.
I feel you, Spoony. There were times when I would play the Queen. Finally get her to use the all rule, beat her. Go to the brat visiting Zell’s mom and he tries to get me to play direct. How can rule degrade that quickly?
Why did you even bother with mentioning the Card Game for fuck’s sake? I didn’t bother and I was way too young to know any better when it came out.
Whoa! I was totally on board with this FF8 review until you started ripping on the Triple Triad music :P
Holy shit you’re right, that’s the most annoying thing I’ve heard in quite some time.
You know, what’s interesting about this to me is that Triple Triad was the sole reason I played this game. Like, whenever FF8 comes up in conversation, I talk about how it’s my favorite console-based card game.
The story is shite. The characters are some of the least compelling I’ve ever seen in a modern era RPG, and the stat/magic/GF system was overwrought and pointlessly filled with busy work. But the card game? The sole reason I ever advanced the plot was to find new people with which to play cards.
I hate this game.
Damn, Triple Triad is awesome. Why do you hate awesome things? But yeah, sometimes the different rules were annoying. But hey, cards give you stuff, don’t they?
Wow, you complain about drawing magic (which I totally agree with), and then dismiss the rewards for the card game as being worthless stuff that you “don’t even need.” Those rewards are basically an endless supply of the best magic in the game without ever having to draw again! Given the completely backwards, counter-intuitive magic system that discourages you from ever casting magic because, if you do, you “lose” that magic, causing your junctioned stats to decrease, these card game rewards are excellent indeed!
Well, now you’re stuck between choosing to grind magic from drawing it (ideal for certain early types of magic) or grind magic from playing the card game.
It’s still grinding, it’s still not fun, and it only further illuminates how fundamentally broken the challenge is in the game to begin with.
Once you get Lionheart, Encounter-None and some Aura magic, that’s it. The gameplay is officially over. Everything from that point forward is just carting yourself from set piece to set piece to watch the convoluted and broken plot unfold.
Card battles in video games. Why? For the love of God, mom, and apple pie, why? Seriously, I watched Yu-gi-Oh, and I can’t explain why the kids don’t just beat the crap out of Pegasus. Just grab a gun, and shoot that gold-eyed f###r right in the face. Let him predict that!
“Pretty sure there was something in Jade Empire.” Yep, a top down shooter. Yes, I realize that this was made almost six years ago now, but I just caught that. The top down shooter in Jade Empire was fun. Triple Triad, sphere break, Pazaak…those are annoying.
So there exists a special, magical ability to turn things into cards so you can play a stupid game against other shitheads instead of harnessing the mystical powers of the universe to convert pests and other-worldly beasts into useful, lifesaving objects.