Ask Spoony 1

I will airjuggle your ass!
AAAARGH!

How do you not get the appeal of Kingdom Hearts? It's one of the most obviously commercialized company crossovers aimed at children of all ages I've ever seen. I've never played it, and I don't plan on ever playing it for this reason, but this is its appeal. It's probably at least a decent game; it seems to blend JRPG style and turn-based game play with ARPG artwork and character development. If I wasn't so embittered at an entire planet full of people trying to sell me shit I'd probably play it. Cogs of corporate capitalism co-opting creativity and cramming kaleidoscopic, candy-coated, "kid-friendly" cartoon crap down my craw, "convincing" me with casts of fondly kept characters; harkening back to halcyon days of childhood innocence lost in a haze, recaptured for me in a brand-new game. My very first thought was, "That's FUCKING lame!" I cave-in while they cash-out? On MY nostalgia?! A crass contrivance to cleave from me any compensation by casually combining the collective capital of two companies once considered quite above reproach; responsible for retaining my restless attention with quality kids' distractions? Didn't consider I'd be competently clever enough catch on? Kiss my cock!
This game didn't kill my respect for the addicting qualities of a Final Fantasy game, although I have played VII-X and have yet to finish a single one of them, and it has had little to no bearing on my affection for Disney's ability to spread the joy and wonder of childhood... while making money in the process. I know there's always a catch of some kind; there are no acts of pure altruism where somebody doing a good deed didn't get something in return, even if only a sense of self-satisfaction. Disney was built on a beautiful dream by flawed men, but the key philosophy behind man's nature to take something pure and twist it to his own ends is as ancient and undeniably beyond reproach as Spoony's virginity.
What this game did accomplish was to convince me that I should never play this game, but this decision was made years ago when I was full of piss and vinegar and anti-establishment hatred; Catholic Education: repressing your filthy emotions since primary school. Now that I'm older, and perhaps a bit wiser, I'm more accepting of the fact that despite something's flaws if you see some value in it, you owe it to yourself to at least check it out. If it turns out to be a miserable failure anyway, at least you'll have no regrets.
I'm a stubborn optimist; I remain hopeful... because somebody has to.
P.S. The name above is my user name for thatguy.com. And I'm sure you're not still a virgin... becuase that would just be sad. Hope you enjoyed this rant; will post videos on You Tube soon if I’m ever allowed near a web-cam again.

never thought people would send Noah hate mail
why bother, those guy's bitching about gunblades.. get a live,
i never got the appiel of any FF game, you sure hafto have loads of time to play those pieces of crap :P

but loved the 'dutch' viewer mail of Kris though XD cracked me up how noah read the thing :P haha

keep up the great work Noah,
i'm enjoying the reviews a great deal ^^

There is nothing wrong with a man-crush on Kevin Sorbo. He can:
1. Punch someone in the soul with the force of an avalanche.
2. Score a warrior Cylon princess.
3. Captain a ship through time and off-prime time slots.
4. Maintain fabulous hair.

well I don't like my name now thanks to that ass jockey who posted the last "question/comment" on the video sharing it : /

I love that you tried to read Dutch out loud.

Funny as hell.

Greetings from the Netherlands.

Okay, gun logic 101:

Gunblades =/= work.. EVER. No. You're wrong. What the mother fuck? A gun and a blade? WHY COULDN'T YOU USE A BAYONET? Also, any gun that goes off when it makes contact with something (I.E you poke something with the barrel) is EXTREMLEY shittly designed. An old musket with wet powder would be safer than that. I truly don't understand how some of these fanboys can defend this game. USE LOGIC-

Wait I just tried applying logic to FF lolwut.

Wasnt the civil war rifle with bayanett the first gunblade???

What I dont get is if people don't like what you have to say about final fantasy 8, why do they watch your videos? I find it absolutely HILARIOUS that total fanboy faggots DEFEND a fucking video game!! Its like JESUS, they're actually correcting you about HOW A GUNBLADE WORKS! If you made fun of a movie or a game that I like I wouldn't care, I'd enjoy what your view is because I happen to realize unlike a lot of people that my view isn't the only one and that not everyone is going to like what I like.

A TIP FOR THE FF8 FAN BOYS:
Defend something that is actually important, like gay marriage rights or how America's government wastes its tax money on nuclear weapons instead of things the country actually needs. STOP DEFENDING FINAL FANTASY 8, YOU JUST MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A PATHETIC BUTT FUCK TARGET!!!

Anywaysss...
Spoony, you should definitely get a girl to do reviews on bad chicks flicks and horrible games for girls on your site, that would make your site more interesting, not that it isn't already. Another person (most preferably a girl) that's fun to watch would make your site fucking KICKASSS. I really hope you consider this.

-Onyxa Vivanno

wow... im starting to notice just how many injokes your reviews and lets plays have... I WILL AIR JUGGLE YOUR ASS!!

Hey, I speak dutch and translated the e-mail in english, altough it doesn't really make much sense even then:

"Are you still awake?
Yeah, it's something with this daylight saving time.
Very entertaining on sundays are the video game reviews of the Angry Video Game Nerd (the site works occasionaly),
the nintendo version of "Jeroen 'Zeikerdje' Ollen" (no Idea who that is).
Rewiews of old games, cause you can hapily shit on them these days.
Just as funny is Noah Antwiller A.K.A. Spoony; Not a good word about bad games in game-history, but in his own unique way."

Ow... way better quality than the old one. Now It's OK to be included on the DVD.

What DVD? The one you should make, dude!!

DR

Spoony, I love you, you make me WANT to buy more retro games!!!
Please do me the biggest favor in the world, make a DVD!!!

Aw piss balls, it doesn't load =o

Yeah, video's not working :<

The video's not showing up...

Actually, no wonder that you have a man-crush on Kevin Sorbo. It's hard to not have it ;|
Oh, and after that question about circumcision I was sooooo disapointed man.

Anyway... I AM TEKKENLORD Aaaaaaagrh!

i will air juggle you're ass XD o yeah and noahh what is you're opnion on the soul calibur series