Is that really the music to the ‘sad’ part?
Another funny video.
I laughed alot at how right you were that all the Final Fantasy games revolve around finding rocks. Rediculous.
Keep them coming.
~Dan

pah! The opera merely foreshadows the real tear-jerker scene: Celes’ despair, and attempted suicide. What’s more tragic then attractive women giving up on life?

I love FF7, but I have to laugh at this.

I love how you’re the only reviewer out there to have the balls to take on the Final Fantasy series and stupid anime crap that has infested many of the games today. Good show.

Fanboy head explosions are a beautiful sight.

About time I say. Everyone treats FF7 like a sacred cow but really should get the mocking it deserved all those years ago. Not because it’s bad but because people shouldn’t take the games so damn seriously!

I dunno. Even if you’re fucking around you’re right on all points.

Hey Don’t mock All of us Cosplayers now D= you made me cry *not really but heh*
However I do agree with you on the fact that Anime can do some really messup things. I’m not a insane fan. Yes I go to cons, I cosplay, and do watch alot of anime if I get the time too. But DAMN, I seen crazy people too. And THANK YOU for giving Nartuo a good bashing.

I never played FF7 but I do want to. More so to see what all the craze is about.

My god, came across this site, saw the FF reviews, and sir.. you are a champion among men! Laughed so hard, even if you’re messing around you seem to hit all nails.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Final Fantasy VIII is one of the WORST games on the Playstation, and FFVII isn’t very good either. If anyone hasn’t played VII yet, don’t. It doesn’t age well at all, and it was kind of a “had to be there” sort of thing.

I laught for ten minutes because of the Naruto joke, god how i hate naruto and the thing it do to people who are addicted to it!

I just hate these fanboys who see anime all day and are cosplay..

Actually I’d love to see a review by you of X and X-2. The latter especially since it’s pretty much everything you hate about the newer RPGs.

ive never seen the big deal with FF VII, maybe cus everytime ive tried to play it somethings has been wrong with whatever cds i had at the times, as for the scene where Aries dies, i for one jump around the room singing “Hurray the wicked witch is dead”. seriously other than her limit break shes useless.

Dude, what was up with the whole Cloud, gay wrestlers scene? I have never seen it before, how did you do it? Also you inspired me to name my FF7 characters after members of the A team

Honestly, VII is just okay, it’s not the masterpiece most people claim it to be, a good game but it doesn’t warrant being called the best game ever, nor even the best in the series. Hell, Final Fantasy X is a way better game for the story, and even the characters some would argue. Yes, I am not joking, I really don’t know why people thought that game was bad, it had an impressive storyline, great scenes a piss easy system of leveling and and learning abilities and fun as shit battles… the only downer was the fucking final boss, and those stupid fucking minigames which I actually accomplished. dodge 200 lightning, chocobo racing and the worst of them all Blitzball. I HAD TO PLAY 100 GAMES OF THAT PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I COULD MAX OUT WAKKA’S STUPID ULTIMATE WEAPON! Never again. But aside from that, it is a good game, and should not be lumped together with X-2 because that was a failed sequel. Like Advent Children was.

Anyway, VII is not the masterpiece that VI, IV and V were, and even IX managed to be better than it in more ways than one. Oh, and Materia is a rather stupid imo.

The way FF7 changed RPGs is making the stories deeper and the characters more 3 dimensional. Destroying the power plants was good because the stuff that was powering them was destroying the planet. Yes, I guess that could be considered eco-terrorism, but that’s not the point. The relationships between the characters is complex, for example, like between Cloud and Sephiroth. Sephiroth and Cloud were best friends and trained together in SOLDIER. Sephiroth was pretty much Cloud’s mentor. Then Sephiroth goes Super Saiyan and destroys Cloud’s and Tifa’s hometown (Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends) because Sephiroth realizes that he’s the last of a race of “superhumans” (or gods, or aliens, or whatever. I forget) who were killed by Cloud’s species. Shinra is, I think, the Mafia and they control everything. It’s kind of a dystopian atmosphere. The game also has a subtle environmental message as well, because the energy that runs the power plants is materia, which has been overmined and is killing the planet.
Also, they killed off a main character, and that was pretty rare in those days. The plot is pretty complicated but apparently Advent Children explains it better. It also satisfies the usual critics of JRPGs because the game is non-linear. The dialogue was also localized well, which wasn’t common yet.
I mean, I don’t think FF7 was the best, and yes, it can be overrated. But I also think you’re underrating it as well.
The biggest problem *I* had with this game was the random battles. They seem to be the most frequent out of any FF I’ve played. I’ve always hated random battles, and FF7 is the worst when it comes to that.

Oh, also, Cloud wasn’t exactly willing to go dress in drag. It was Aeris’ idea, and at first he was like “WTF?! No way!” and then they kinda break him down and he eventually reluctantly agrees. But after that scene, you get to literally kick the Mafia guy in the balls if he doesn’t give you info.

I would pay any amount of money for you to tear Advent Children a new asshole. I was suckered into paying $35 bucks for that piece of shit because of the hype and I demand vengence. Vengeeeeeence!

Dude I was getting a few chuckles here and there when I watched this but the part at the end where you just started screaming had me rolling, thanks for the laughs man.

Thank you for ripping a game that I have Iong thought was extremely overrated and annoying.

That’s right FF7 Fanboys I said FF7 sucks

Well, I’d just like to say that while I am an anime/manga fan, I’m not offended by anything said in this review. Actually, I agree with a fair amount of it. It is an unfortunate fact of any community that there are going to be weirdos, perverts, and outright whackjobs in residence, and more than likely these people are the ones that most in the public will point to, decrying the whole community as a bunch of weirdos, perverts and outright whackjobs.

In the information age, the sensational travels furthest, and the anime cosplayers who go too far, the hentai fans who are into seriously messed up shit, and the yaoi fangirls who pair any two males they find hot together in smutty stories are the ones who keep getting the camera. Which isn’t fair, to be honest.

Sure, I have cosplayed once or twice, but as part of a group because frankly, it’s fun to do fun and crazy things with your friends than to do things alone. I am a prolific writer of fanfiction and original fiction. In the case of the former, it’s because I like the characters of the animes and I want to see if I can write them just as well as the creator, or better. Or to explore different possibilities with the characters, to delve into different themes in these worlds the creators never thought of or couldn’t do. And most of all, simply because it’s fun. It’s like the literary version of playing with LEGOS: They come in a box with detailed instructions for a set model to build, with the picture on the front, but you wonder “What else can I build? What else can I do with it?”

Sure, we can’t make money off it (a popular joke among otaku is that anime is our anti-drug, because all our money that could be used for buying it goes to anime), but so what? It’s fun, it gives us community, and it gives us entire worlds of fascinating stories and characters and adventures to explore, ponder, consider, and expand upon in our own ways.

The fanatics, the fanboys, and the yaoi fangirls are just people who take things way too far, usually due to their own issues. I mean, should we judge all filmmakers to be like Uwe Boll? Or all liberals by Michael Moore? Not at all. They’re human, and humans have a bad tendency to let their own neuroses and grudges and other emotional baggage affect what they do.

I can’t defend the weirdos, perverts and whackjobs of my community, Mr. Antwiler, but I can defend the members of that community, and what we all enjoy.

Oh Jesus jackrabbit Christ, THANK YOU for busting on Advent Children. If I hear one more person defend that crap to me in conversation I’m going to…I’m going to…well, really I’m not going to do anything except sit here and slowly leak sanity.

Final Fantasy VII was and still is a GREAT game. Of course the graphics have gone out of date, etc. etc. but its still a wonderful story and it was truly ahead of its time in terms of character development and plot twists and such. However, having played it a few times in the past few days, I have to say that it indeed does have its flaws. TONS of Engrish in this game that I never noticed before, Aerith is actually not that interesting (while she’s around), and Barret and Cid are both INTENSELY stereotypical black and Texan stereotypes, respectively.

HOWEVER, if the game were ever given an update, NOT another mediocre spin-off (with the exception of Crisis Core, which I found pretty good) it could really be a great game by today’s standards, as long as Square Enix doesn’t ruin it by letting Tetsuya Nomura direct. Hiranobu Sacaguchi should direct if a remake were to happen, period. Nomura is NOT a director, he is a fricking CHARACTER ARTIST. Fucks sake, Square.

I agree Naruto is just some stupid anime.

Check the link if video not embeded.

Sorry dude but that dude in the suede beat you to it Here is the URL http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatdudeinthesuede/animenia/2501-ffvii-advent-children. I don’t know why it isn’t a hyperlink.

One of the great things about Matsuno and Final Fantasy Tactics/ FF12 is that it kind of does away with a lot of the stuff that FF7 did to the series. There’s still some wackiness, but it’s more restrained and scales back the conflict. Heck, a lot of the villains are actually somewhat sympathetic and you could even see them as the hero if not for the fact that they kill and hurt a lot of people to achieve their otherwise noble goals.

That being said, it’s still Final Fantasy, so… you know what to expect. And FF7 was definitely the first type of media that taught me that if I love something, I should NEVER seek out a community of like minded people because they will inevitably make me sad and ashamed by association.

Yeah, Evangelion isn’t deep, just kinda knows names and uses them in a bit of a pretentious manner. It kinda knows philosophies and shit, but doesn’t fully understand it, I guess.
That doesn’t mean it’s not fucking awesome anyways, though.

I remember when my friend and I started playing through FFVII and it got to the Drag scene. I usually get a kick out of Drag, but I was IMMENSELY confused at that point and the gay wrestlers didn’t make it any better.

Thanks for the fucking maturety alert, you don’t think -maybe- you could have included a spoiler alert too? I’m half way through the game, and I had no idea Caith Sith was a double agent. Had to stop the vid there so you wouldn’t spoil anything else..

I love when people try to defent Final Fantasy VII or VIII by saying “Well, it just hasn’t aged well”. Hey fanboys, you know what two games have barely aged at all? FINAL FANTASY IV AND FINAL FANTASY VI. Solid characters and an intriguing plot don’t “age”, fancy graphics, stereotypical characters, and hardware masturbation does.

You can’t be serious, McFisticuffs. None of those games have aged well, you need to loosen up those nostalgia goggles and play IV and VI again. Graphically, these games are a joke nowadays, but this was back when developers didn’t have the luxury of hiding behind pretty graphics and long cut-scenes. You can try to be elitist if you want and hate VII because people didn’t like your precious VI as much as it, but I’ll go ahead and keep playing and enjoying all of them.

Spoony man, what’s up with that reaction to FFX-2? Granted it was the only sequel to a FF series to retain the number, but really, it’s like you were watching Tub-Girl live action. And people do yourself a favor and DO NOT look for what the heck I’m talking about. Tub-Girl is not what you want to see. Believe me.

I agree with McFisticuffs. FF IV (then called II) was my first SNES game after Super Mario World. I still have my original SNES carts and maps (boxes are fubar though), I got the re-releases on PS1, and the GBA ports (along with other SNES re-releass like Breath of Fire II) and they reside alongisde my DS games when I cart my DS around. I have effectively been playing these SNES RPGs on and off since I was 9, all the while following gaming through its generations from NES to SNES to PS1 to N64 to Dreamcast and beyond. They’ve aged just fine, I never have trouble playing them because of the graphics in the same way I have no issues playing Tetris or Galaga because of the graphics. The graphics are fine. And the music is STILL far superior composition-wise and infinitely more memorable than the CD-quality shit we’ve been getting getting.

Maybe I missed something, but when did become fashionable to completely rip on FFVII? Even spoony pointed out its strong points. Sure, VI was better, but that doesn’t make VII any worse. I’m no fanboy, but I can appreciate (sic) a good game when I see one, outdated graphics nonwithstanding.

Its probably the sequels that put you all off… and that’s understandable, but don’t blame the original VII that was clearly a creative and technical triumph for the time.

Watch, if square enix tries to release a “compilation of FFVI,” fanboys will immediately say that FFVI was “overrated” and that “its characters are the worst.”

Maybe I missed something, but when did become fashionable to completely rip on FFVII? Even spoony pointed out its strong points. Sure, VI was better, but that doesn’t make VII any worse. I’m no fanboy, but I can appreciate (sic) a good game when I see one, outdated graphics nonwithstanding.

Its probably the sequels that put you all off… and that’s understandable, but don’t blame the original VII that was clearly a creative and technical triumph for the time.

Watch, if square enix tries to release a “compilation of FFVI,” fanboys will immediately say that FFVI was “overrated” and that “its characters are the worst.”

I’m not going to argue with you on the more arbitrary points of VII, such as the plot (it would take forever) or characters (it doesn’t matter). There’s just 2 things that I really wanted to point out:

1. They actually do take time to consider the negative consequences of their actions later on, they being AVALANCHE. That’s actually 1 reason I compliment the story. Of COURSE it can be summed up simply, you can do the same thing with Shakespeare. Macbeth: Some guy wants to be king, his wife convinces him to kill people to get there, he starts to go crazy. It’s the little things–like this–that I believe people compliment it for. Also, to clear up the confusion, AVALANCH is not an acronym. WEAPON, SOLDIER, & AVALANCH were written in a different style in the Japanese version, to differentiate them from the homophones (AKA what these words ordinarily mean). The closest thing in English was writing them in ALL CAPS.

2. Your complaint that Yuffie “isn’t a real ninja” is actually inaccurate. The pictures you used had people wearing what’s called a “shozuku.” The problem is that historically, ninja did not wear this. Stage hands in Japanese plays did. Therefore, ninja in plays did too, so you would not notice them. Yuffie is incompetent, but historically, she has the concept down: She’s a peasant fighting for freedom using dirty tricks, & exotic weapons & traps.

Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m “butthurt” over this. Honestly, I don’t watch reviews for opinions, I watch them primarily for entertainment. This guy had me in stitches when going on about the crossdressing portion, even though I personally thought that bit was hilarious in the original game. I’m not angry, I’m just anal.

I think that covers the major bits.

OH GOD ITS MILEY CYRUS

OH GOD ITS MILEY CYRUS

Well so you basically say that the game “Final Fantasy 7″ is responsible for this hentai-porn-crap in the internet? There will always be porn-crap about everyone (female) that appears in games, movies, magazines or any other media. Were these 320*200 pixel-sized, eye-cancer-causing, text-based games really better, because their lack of graphics prevented some dirty porn fantasies? It is a strange logic. OK, I’m being hypocritical because I watch your reviews for entertainment, so they can’t be that bad.

Final Fantasy VII is one of my favourite games of all time… and I LOVED this review! Because it’s all so true! Great job Spoony. You’re a brave man for doing this.

Final Fantasy VII is one of my favourite games of all time… and I LOVED this review! Because it’s all so true! Great job Spoony. You’re a brave man for doing this.

The ending to this one gets me every time. I think that’s any sane person’s reaction to FFX-2.

Did this stuff really happen in FF7? It’s hard to imagine a company including stuff about a man dressing as a woman then having gay sex with several men in a gym.

Did this stuff really happen in FF7? It’s hard to imagine a company including stuff about a man dressing as a woman then having gay sex with several men in a gym.

I never really got why the fandom of anime and Final Fantasy had to be so weird. I mean, when I go to a video game store (If ever!), I feel like I have to hide my face buying Dissidia: Final Fantasy, mostly because I have gotten weird looks buying video games.

To comment #30

It was a review about FF7, of course there were going to be spoilers you dumbass.

To comment #30

It was a review about FF7, of course there were going to be spoilers you dumbass.

Final Fantasy may suck, but the futa(hermaphrodite) porn is pretty hot.

Fans claim FF7 is great for roughly 4 reasons:
1.) Great plot
2.) Interesting characters
3.) Heinous villain
4.) Revolutionary graphics

Every single one of those reasons is a complete and total lie.

The plot starts off pretty well, but once the characters leave Midgar everything goes downhill. It turns into just another Saturday morning cartoon where you follow the villain around from place to place, like Mighty Max or Johnny Quest although not nearly as cool as those two. Then there’s those FORCED plot twists, like how Cloud was actually Zack and Tifa knew the whole time. Seriously, “I’m a clone of the ultimate SOLDIER, no I’m not, yes I am, oh I guess I’m really not” is supposed to be deep? Characters go crazy just because of false information (this happens several times). Anyway, you easily kill Sephiroth at the end and then the game just stops. No ending, just credits.

The characters sucked. You thought FF8 was bad? Well, it is, but that’s b/c FF8 was an overblown version of FF7. The characters have little to no personality (until Crisis Core came out 10 years later), their backgrounds are nothing but tragedy, and they can only feel one type of emotion at best. Cloud: Bland uncaring robot forced to go on a quest to save the world. Tifa: “I’ve got big breasts, I hope Cloud notices me.” Barret: Racist stereotypes. Aeris: Bland flower girl dies. Red XIII: The only good character. Cid: Total hick. Vincent: Another angsty man for the fangirls. Cait Sith: Completely fucking useless. Yuffie: Annoying fanservice for pedophiles who’s also completely fucking useless.

Sephiroth was a failure. He was played off as a victim even though he really isn’t a victim at all. He went from bland to emo, after misinterpreting his origins of course, then became bland again. He failed in every one of his schemes. Killing Aeris was just a failed plan to stop Holy. His motivations are nothing more than just his mother. He puts up no challenge whatsoever at the end, and his final form is a total rip-off of Kefka’s (who put up one hell of a fight). Seriously, Kefka tortured and killed countless Espers for their magicite, betrayed the empire, murdered his superiors, disobeyed orderds and personally poisoned a kingdom’s water supply killing all but one, forced the slave crown on Terra and made her kill 50 of his own men to prove her loyalty, raised the Floating Continent, ripped the world apart killing millions which also unleashed the 10 legendary beasts from within, became the God of Magic, used the Light of Judgment out of boredom to decimate people and towns who refused to worship him, and ruled the world with power and fear for over a year. Sephiroth made the world live in fear for 3 days.

FF7′s graphics were not revolutionary either. FF7 came out at the beginning of 1997. Back in 1995, the Sega Saturn released Panzer Dragoon which had excellent fucking graphics (already better than FF7′s) and it only got better a year later with Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. Then, also in 1996, Sonic Team released Nights Into Dreams, ASTOUNDING GRAPHICS, which totally murdered FF7′s graphics a year before its release.

It’s actually pretty easy to put together why people love FF7 so much. Basically, with the transition to 3D, the confusion of the name change, the console change, and the whole anime style look, new gamers were persuaded to buy their first RPG. That’s pretty much it. FF7 was the first RPG most of its fans ever played which causes them to automatically hold it in higher regard than other games. They refuse to fully enjoy or appreciate the quality of any other RPGs that don’t have that FF7 feel to it. They’ve decided that FF7 is their favorite RPG and will not be convinced otherwise. With the success of all these shitty sequels and spin-offs, like FF8 FFX FF7:AC FF7:DoC, it just goes to show that true quality is no match for rabid fanboyism.

Fans claim FF7 is great for roughly 4 reasons:
1.) Great plot
2.) Interesting characters
3.) Heinous villain
4.) Revolutionary graphics

Every single one of those reasons is a complete and total lie.

The plot starts off pretty well, but once the characters leave Midgar everything goes downhill. It turns into just another Saturday morning cartoon where you follow the villain around from place to place, like Mighty Max or Johnny Quest although not nearly as cool as those two. Then there’s those FORCED plot twists, like how Cloud was actually Zack and Tifa knew the whole time. Seriously, “I’m a clone of the ultimate SOLDIER, no I’m not, yes I am, oh I guess I’m really not” is supposed to be deep? Characters go crazy just because of false information (this happens several times). Anyway, you easily kill Sephiroth at the end and then the game just stops. No ending, just credits.

The characters sucked. You thought FF8 was bad? Well, it is, but that’s b/c FF8 was an overblown version of FF7. The characters have little to no personality (until Crisis Core came out 10 years later), their backgrounds are nothing but tragedy, and they can only feel one type of emotion at best. Cloud: Bland uncaring robot forced to go on a quest to save the world. Tifa: “I’ve got big breasts, I hope Cloud notices me.” Barret: Racist stereotypes. Aeris: Bland flower girl dies. Red XIII: The only good character. Cid: Total hick. Vincent: Another angsty man for the fangirls. Cait Sith: Completely fucking useless. Yuffie: Annoying fanservice for pedophiles who’s also completely fucking useless.

Sephiroth was a failure. He was played off as a victim even though he really isn’t a victim at all. He went from bland to emo, after misinterpreting his origins of course, then became bland again. He failed in every one of his schemes. Killing Aeris was just a failed plan to stop Holy. His motivations are nothing more than just his mother. He puts up no challenge whatsoever at the end, and his final form is a total rip-off of Kefka’s (who put up one hell of a fight). Seriously, Kefka tortured and killed countless Espers for their magicite, betrayed the empire, murdered his superiors, disobeyed orderds and personally poisoned a kingdom’s water supply killing all but one, forced the slave crown on Terra and made her kill 50 of his own men to prove her loyalty, raised the Floating Continent, ripped the world apart killing millions which also unleashed the 10 legendary beasts from within, became the God of Magic, used the Light of Judgment out of boredom to decimate people and towns who refused to worship him, and ruled the world with power and fear for over a year. Sephiroth made the world live in fear for 3 days.

FF7′s graphics were not revolutionary either. FF7 came out at the beginning of 1997. Back in 1995, the Sega Saturn released Panzer Dragoon which had excellent fucking graphics (already better than FF7′s) and it only got better a year later with Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. Then, also in 1996, Sonic Team released Nights Into Dreams, ASTOUNDING GRAPHICS, which totally murdered FF7′s graphics a year before its release.

It’s actually pretty easy to put together why people love FF7 so much. Basically, with the transition to 3D, the confusion of the name change, the console change, and the whole anime style look, new gamers were persuaded to buy their first RPG. That’s pretty much it. FF7 was the first RPG most of its fans ever played which causes them to automatically hold it in higher regard than other games. They refuse to fully enjoy or appreciate the quality of any other RPGs that don’t have that FF7 feel to it. They’ve decided that FF7 is their favorite RPG and will not be convinced otherwise. With the success of all these shitty sequels and spin-offs, like FF8 FFX FF7:AC FF7:DoC, it just goes to show that true quality is no match for rabid fanboyism.

Loved the FF6 part. That was truly the best game in the series IMO.

Okay, I have a theory about the insane religious fan base for FFVII.

I believe that most people, your first introduction to something usually becomes your favorite of said thing.
David Tennant is my favorite doctor on Doctor Who.
FFX is my favorite FF game.
Both were my first introduction to each things.

Perhaps so many people hot hooked into FFVII when it first came out and it was so amazing when it first came out, they can’t help but feel that feeling of finding something epic and refuse to believe otherwise. A small gem that has tarnished with age but so many people are blinded my their nostalgia, they still feel that nothing can do better what FFVII because nothing to replicate the feeling they had when they played FFVII for the first time.

Just a thought.

Okay, I have a theory about the insane religious fan base for FFVII.

I believe that most people, your first introduction to something usually becomes your favorite of said thing.
David Tennant is my favorite doctor on Doctor Who.
FFX is my favorite FF game.
Both were my first introduction to each things.

Perhaps so many people hot hooked into FFVII when it first came out and it was so amazing when it first came out, they can’t help but feel that feeling of finding something epic and refuse to believe otherwise. A small gem that has tarnished with age but so many people are blinded my their nostalgia, they still feel that nothing can do better what FFVII because nothing to replicate the feeling they had when they played FFVII for the first time.

Just a thought.

Spirits within failed because it was set on Earth and not the Final Fantasy Universe…

And >< WTF Dissing FF7 and Evangelin in the same review so not cool.

OK i have to say that I’m rly surprised.
when i saw the review i was like, *wow mocking ff7, is gonna get bashed by the fan boys!” i saw the reviews and i was totally wrong! no fan boys complaining only thinking it was funny, but the haters!! omg so many ff7 haters i never imagined there were so many!!!

this was so funny since all i hear is FF7 is god, FF7 is the best game ever. but so many haters and most of them are even more obnoxious than the Fan boys.
haters and fan boys are like ying and yang, fan only say what is great and embellish the wrong, haters only say whats wrong and bash the good.
and i agree with you Noah, cosplay is so weird and i rly don’t understand it. but its every one personal choice.

bottom line, i liked ff7, i didn’t ff8, i loved ff9, i liked ff10 (10-2 i don’t count as a FF but i played it), ff11 is online and he no thnx, and ff12 was the absolute worse.

i call my self a FF lover, and i cant wait for FF12.

Spoony you are THE man.

if u need to get laid, i will pay for a ….. for you =P

OK i have to say that I’m rly surprised.
when i saw the review i was like, *wow mocking ff7, is gonna get bashed by the fan boys!” i saw the reviews and i was totally wrong! no fan boys complaining only thinking it was funny, but the haters!! omg so many ff7 haters i never imagined there were so many!!!

this was so funny since all i hear is FF7 is god, FF7 is the best game ever. but so many haters and most of them are even more obnoxious than the Fan boys.
haters and fan boys are like ying and yang, fan only say what is great and embellish the wrong, haters only say whats wrong and bash the good.
and i agree with you Noah, cosplay is so weird and i rly don’t understand it. but its every one personal choice.

bottom line, i liked ff7, i didn’t ff8, i loved ff9, i liked ff10 (10-2 i don’t count as a FF but i played it), ff11 is online and he no thnx, and ff12 was the absolute worse.

i call my self a FF lover, and i cant wait for FF12.

Spoony you are THE man.

if u need to get laid, i will pay for a ….. for you =P

ho and i think cosplayers are weird, but there are some exceptions. i wanted to see this (http://www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/rikku2.jpg) and tell me its not hot :P

Love ur reaction in the end Spoony, Exactly like mine when I think about that putrid game. AAAAAAGGHH!!!

Love ur reaction in the end Spoony, Exactly like mine when I think about that putrid game. AAAAAAGGHH!!!

Thank you for agreeing that Naruto is not a ninja. Orange jumpsuit = FAIL STEALTH. I dislike that show with great intensity. Oh, and I’m also gonna go back to blocking that Don Corneo bit; I suppressed it for a reason. >_<

The torture you endure for us, Spoony. We love you so much for it. =)

forgot how disturbing the whole Cloud cross-dressing stuff were. i can’t believe they actually got way with all that, lol

forgot how disturbing the whole Cloud cross-dressing stuff were. i can’t believe they actually got way with all that, lol

I downloaded the FFVII PSN version and I was amazingly surprised about how good it was. The story was good and I liked the gameplay so much better, than say, Pokémon.

The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, actually. I know about Advent Children and that stuff but c’mon… That wasn’t a proper ending. I was like: “What happened to the rest of the people except RedXIII?” It was just the same with Infamous; you didn’t learn what happened to all the characters – which was disappointing – and the wrap-up scene wasn’t all that original.

Although, FFVII was, and is, a great game.

Dressing up cloud was the best thing ever. I love being gang-banged by cornero and his thugs, sucks I couldn’t stay that way through out the game.

FFVII is the most overrated piece of shit of all time. It sickens me. fuck FFVII

FFVII is the most overrated piece of shit of all time. It sickens me. fuck FFVII

Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!

I know this video has been on for a long time, but I had to comment…

“This is a ninja. THIS is a ninja! Even THIS is a ninja! This… is a character from Poke’mon!

I know this video has been on for a long time, but I had to comment…

“This is a ninja. THIS is a ninja! Even THIS is a ninja! This… is a character from Poke’mon!

Love this review, It’s one of my TSE Favorites. However I think I would count about 75% of your reviews as my favorites, if that even makes sense. I really hope that viewer backlash is not nearly as rabid, and common as you allude to. If it is an accurate representation I would be pissed off enough to pull off a “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” fanboy beat down, so I can only imagine how peeved you become.Considering the fact that a person who has always loathed the entire FF series like myself could identify your sarcasm here, but people who believe it is a certifiable classic could not is fucking ridiculous. Keep up the great work Spoony!

” Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!”

@ DarkSeason October 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

While I have never beaten FF7 I don’t believe I have ever heard anything about a “Smurf sex scene” . Come to think of it I’m not sure any Smurfs were in there at all.

( Sorry couldn’t help myself) ; )

” Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!”

@ DarkSeason October 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

While I have never beaten FF7 I don’t believe I have ever heard anything about a “Smurf sex scene” . Come to think of it I’m not sure any Smurfs were in there at all.

( Sorry couldn’t help myself) ; )

have you got something against FFX-2. and no i’m not saying it was a brilliant piece of gaming but it was enjoyable.

I can argue how most of the stuff you said about FF7 is wrong and your being a jerk, but it’s not worth my time. Honestly to each his own, and i liked FF7. I won’t be getting dressed up as any of the characters..I might look at a little of the porn :p, but I did enjoy this game. I hope you really did too and are not just trying to be funny.

I can argue how most of the stuff you said about FF7 is wrong and your being a jerk, but it’s not worth my time. Honestly to each his own, and i liked FF7. I won’t be getting dressed up as any of the characters..I might look at a little of the porn :p, but I did enjoy this game. I hope you really did too and are not just trying to be funny.

Well, those concepts of ninjas were all made up by Hollywood. A real ninja hides in plain sight, so to speak. I’m sure some dressed in black clothes to strike at night, but ninjas were assassins who blended in instead of blatantly screaming “I’m not supposed to be here!”

There are a few enjoyable places in FF7, and I loved it when I was a kid. Now I think it sucks, though the music is still amazing in my opinion. I have friends who insist you could carry a weapon like that with enough training, but seriously, just look at his arms.

@ Chris K: Man, nice way of shooting yourself in the foot. First you say he is wrong, then you say to each his own?

HEY!!! I liked NGE.

LoL
But hey, I know you like to piss off fanboys but what about the poor fangirls?
Ya like to hurt smal fangirls?

Buuut, your opinion is nit mine. Spoony, you OWNES the INTERNET!!!!!!!

LoL
But hey, I know you like to piss off fanboys but what about the poor fangirls?
Ya like to hurt smal fangirls?

Buuut, your opinion is nit mine. Spoony, you OWNES the INTERNET!!!!!!!

i’ll admit i did buy a psp on launch, a few mounts later it dropped ONE FOOT and wouldn’t turn back on, I sent it back and got a new one that had screen problems, skipped the 2000 and bought the next one, which i hope still works I have picked it up since the week i got it and now theirs completely changed it with the pspgo, and i just gave up and bought a iphone, which has dropped a ton of times, on concrete and is the same but for a few scratches on the back.
and imo has better games since you can get NES, C64, Genesis/Megadrive and SNES emulators all for about 10 dollars.

YES! THANK YOU! You insulted just about every one of my friends in this, but I agree completely. Everything you mentioned had always bothered me when my friends would talk about them. This was hilarious! Great job Noah!

Gotta say u nailed the FF3/6 opera event totally, so true ^.^

i love FF7 it was my first real rpg outside of link to the past, but you hit the nail on the head. great game btu seriously fucked up fanboys. i once had a commission for a sketch of aerith but turned it down after the sick crap the guy wanted me to draw.

it's got to the stage that i have to explain to people at times i like the game and the game only. though i did enjoy advent just as dumb fun it just isn't in no way the masterpiece others have tried to promote it as

oh come on, X-2 wasn't that bad xD
I agree with the cross dressing, though. What in the world was the point of that? Did we realy have to deal with a pimp and dress the main character up like a girl?

…and here I thought being an otaku was just liking anime…it's a good thing I haven't been running around the streets shouting my “anime-liking-status.” I wonder what just liking anime would be called.

Also…wtf is up with the guy dressed up as Sailor Moon? Seriously….what the fuck!? That's just….WRONG! Say no to cosplay, kids….it's CREEPY! I seriously don't do any of that weird pron shit…that's just weird!

Thank you, Spoony, for opening up my inner belief of how the world of liking anime works….and I swear to god, I sure hope there aren't any of those cosplay conventions where I live!

I couldn't agree more. I actually LIKE the universally hated Clone Saga as it was the first Spidey/comic story arc I EVER read. Had I have jumped on with say Kraven's Last Hunt (ignoring the fact I would have been three years old when it came out) I'd probably be singing a different tune. No matter how the opinion may change with age and you sample other games/comics/films/books/tv shows/whatever, the first of anything will always been seen a degree of rose tinted glasses, and may be used as a bench mark.

Damn… Quistis really CAN multitask…

Ah final fantasy X-2, was there really any reason to do anything other than just spam rikku's mecha chocobo thing?

looks like the jokes on you because gran turismo DID come out for psp

Dude, this is so not how the “world of liking anime” works.
Most people who like anime are perfectly normal people who can be called anime-fans (if they need a title), the so called otakus are complete no-lifers who basically live in their own world with their own rules and values.

Liking anime is completely normal (since there are a lot of really good ones) and it doesn't make you an otaku.
I'm a big anime fan with a big library of it and I'm pretty much a perfectly normal guy who simply likes to watch it to relax and have fun when I'm not working or doing something else (also because TV basically sucks the majority of the time where I live, Sweden).

Regarding the porn, yes there is a lot of shitty and creepy stuff to be found there, but there do exist some doujin artists who actually make good stuff based on their favourite series, even non-porn stories that are really worthwhile.

Duct tape? Wouldn't that really, really hurt taking it off?

Also, I'm sorry. But when people complain that the Spirits Within had nothing to do with the game I have to ask… WHICH GAME?!! At this point there was ten separate FF games each with their own plot, world, and characters. And I would say that putting aside its many flaws, it probably has more to do with the philosophy and 'spirituality' of Final Fantasy VII than the actual Final Fantasy VII movie.

I’m kinda shocked. Though 7 is a great game, it has its flaws… well, it has one glaring flaw that you didn’t mention, even if you were just fucking around.
MIDGAR!!!
The only thing that keeps me from replaying that game is that I don’t want to put up with fucking Midgar again… EVER. If you were gonna tear FF7 a new asshole, you should have brought that up. The whole first disc after the opening is needlessly padded.

Ugh, that X-2 opening scene.

News flash, Square: if I wanted to watch a Britney Spears video, I’d watch a Britney Spears video, not play a video game.

I suppose I’m late to the party, but…it just confuses me. Not the review itself, but the Spoony One. Yeah, he’s trying to dick around with us for laughs and probably to inspire both admiration and hate in nerds of all creeds, but it’s clear he likes and still plays most Final Fantasy games before 12(which I’d like to hear your opinion on, actually, since if anyone else defends it, I may have an aneurism.) Why rag so much on 10 and 8? They’re not perfect, but they’re basically fun…if you ignore the draw shit and extra content. Hell, even 10-2 has a fun game under all the fluff.

Just saying.

For any of the commenters out there who still pay attention, I liked Advent Children, Dissidia, and 10-2. Before any hate comes my way, I admit that each was flawed in its own way, but they were at least fun and interesting for a while, unlike many games I could mention.

The game is full of plotholes and disturbing concepts, like that Hujo freak trying to get Aeris and Red XIII to mate. I’m convined FFVII started everything that’s stereotyped or just plain wrong with JRPG’s today.

“You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

*Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

“You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

*Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

the reaction to FFx-2 was pretty much my reaction when i saw that xD

Yep, and this is why 9 times out of 10, when someone says “VII was my first Final Fantasy”, that’s my cue to tune out whatever else they’re gonna say.

I find it kinda funny that the comments you make here are kinda true. I never played FFVII, hell the only one I have played is FFX, I regretted that ever since. Still, I am an anime fan… so I still get somewhat frustrated. But… I cannot explain what other fans do… so again I find myself agreeing with you.

I’ve got to disagree with Spoony on the PSP being a piece of crap.  When this review came out, yes it was pretty useless, but that was before you could buy PSX games off of the Playstation Network.  You can finally play the good Final Fantasy games released on the Playstation like FF7 and FF6, and you can play them anywhere and at anytime you want.  (For people like me who haven’t been able to play FF7 in over ten years because they lost or accidentally damaged the discs and don’t feel like shelling out over $100 to buy it again off of Amazon or eBay, this is a godsend.)  And considering that these games came out before the Playstation had analog sticks, it really doesn’t matter that that part of the PSP sucks.  You can’t play the classic Final Fantasy games, or any PSX games for that matter, with the new Playstation Vita (although you can get the new HD release of FFX for the Vita, that is if you’re bat-shit INSANE), so I have no regrets for getting a PSP a few months ago.    
 
And while FF7 is probably my favorite game of the series despite its flaws (either that, or it’s tied with FF6, and even that game shamelessly ripped off Star Wars), I do wholeheartedly agree with Spoony that once it opened the door to obsessive anime fans worshipping it and all subsequent releases, it really did make the rest of us who liked it look bad.  To this day I’ve admitted only to my boyfriend and a few close friends that I love playing this game because I don’t want to be lumped together with the creepy fanboys and fangirls who take this game WAY too seriously.     
 
BTW, they really should have left the lyrics to the Aria at the Opera House in FF6 alone.  Yes, maybe the original English translation for the SNES version of FF6 wasn’t as close to the original Japanese as the translation for the Game Boy Advance version was, but at least it was good. 

:D I could not agree more with this review. FF7 is f-ed up. I was laughing so hard.

And while i freely admit to liking hentai, i too am disturbed by some of the extreme bizarre shit like you showed. Two normally proportioned anime people having normal, consensual sex is all i need.

I also noticed that was the GBA version of FF6′s opera seen you showed there. Not that that’s a bad thing, though; the singing sounds like an actual woman and the lyrics actually match the melody. But still, you were holding an SNES controller in that shot.

altough i understand your arguments, i have to say this: Sephiroth is INSANE. he is powerful and INSANE. that’s the idea. It’s not like, say seymour who is just an Emo. He is insane and has to be stopped.
And really, Cloud is FAR better handled than, say, squall.

It’s amazing how Spoony knew to record his reaction to the opera scene in ’94! Astounding! :P

Ha ha, his shock at the end makes me think of Kramer from Seinfeld screaming with Jerry when Jerry finds out he has some of Kramer’s blood in him.

I just want to ask something, not commenting on the rest.
Which early FF game is it that you’re crying to in the ’94 flashback? I’ve played them all, I just can’t remember which technical one that is, since the messed brutally with the numbering.

Spoony…. I have one thing to say about this…………………….

THANK YOU.
Naruto is a whining blonde ball of crap.
I’m pretty sure even Yuffie is a better ninja, which is SAD.
Don’t get me wrong, I love FF7, but I get a kick out of your harsh yet true jokes. :3 Keep it up!
Now go play FF12 and 13 for us. :3

Is it bad that it took me only five minutes to find the uncensored version of that Quistis pic online?

Also, as a fellow Wisconsinite, i really dig Spoony’s shirt.

Funny thing is, I just got FF7 and promptly named Cloud ‘Ladyboy’. Then I went on a spoony marathon and watched this particular review; it made my day. >:) Naturally I had to be an even bigger ass and so decided to call Aerith ‘Deadmeat’. I. Regret. Nothing.

People keep saying FF7 is the best FF game ever. I disagree for a multitude of reasons which few people dare to admit for fear of the rabid FF fanboys. The story is ‘meh’, the transparant ‘love triangle’ was the god damned pits. I couldn’t wait for Aerith to get shish kebobbed because she was boring and bland. I am enjoying the throwback to ‘the olden days’ though. God knows I need it right now with the slew of shit that passes for games these days.

On top of that-I also got a FF8 demo with FF7. I’m too scared to play…Should I try it and become a drooling vegetable? Or walk away, untried and somewhat sane?

@Your Neon Genesis Evangelion mini-rant.
Most people just think it’s overrated due to ignorance, lack of research, or just no knowledge of the anime in general.
But I could tell it’s all of the above due to fact of “E-vaa-jelly-on”.
<3