Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (5-28-08)

Yep they raped indiana jones.
I can't understand how people can like it.

I think I'll go watch The Last Crusade to cleanse my consciousness of this horrible piece of cinematic shit. George Lucas needs to die! Lucas must've suckered Spielberg into doing this, because I can't imagine him making a bad any thing.

after seeing thing peace of shit, it makes me cherish the originals. i don't consider this movie part of the Indiana Jones franchise.

what about back to the future being a good trilogy? anyway its so stupid how hypocritical fans are by asking for you to review these things and then flaming you for expressing your opinions

"I hate to say that about Spielberg, but he made a worse movie than Michal Bay! Goddamn! How do you DO that?"

-You, good sir, have just made my day. I felt the same exact way.

For what it's worth, this script was penned by David Koepp, the same dude who wrote forgettable screenplays for "War of the Worlds", "Zathura: A Space Adventure", "Panic Room", "Angels and Demons", "Mission: Impossible" (which was actually a pretty good, albeit predictable, movie), etc, etc, etc...

He did also write "Spiderman", but I think the director of that one saved it more than the written word. Original Indiana Jones was written by Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote "Return of the Jedi" and "Empire Strikes Back".

I thought it was kind of meh. There were some nice nods to the paranormal nonsense as was popular at the time this was set. I dispute that it represents a genre shift, it's just modern myths that turn out to be true instead of old ones.
They did point out that the skull wasn't actually magnetic, since it attracts gold and the kid points out gold isn't magnetic at all. The movie is incoherent nonsense, but so were the first three and no-one holds it against them.

At first when I saw this film I thought it was badass. Now after seeing this review that changed my mind. Though that section when they Communist get's killed by the ants scared me a tiny bit.

Why are you teasing me with WENDYS.

Come now, It wasn't THAT bad. It was nothing special but not as bad as you put it.

Here is the saddest thing. I talked my fiance into watching this flick with me, and it was her first Indy movie.

GOD THIS MOVIE SUCKED. It's truly hard to believe. I'd watch the Star Wars Holiday Special before I watched this again.

On that note...

Love the shirt Spoony ZORK FTW!

there is one person who writes a better score than John Williams. Nobuo Uematsu

lol funny that spoony say along the lines of "they raped indy". They did a south park episode about that not long after this review.

Spoony...never quit. These reviews are hilarious. :)

I thought Indy 4 was okay. Was it as good as the first three? No, absolutely not. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't nearly up to par with the original three. I can't wait for George Lucas to make American Graffiti 2, when he fucks up the last good thing he's ever made.

Wow... yeah, I guess I do not need to see it. I have been looking into some more videos to watch since I have basically seen about nothing as far as movies.

I admit I was curious, and I am getting more into videos. Even got myself the original three since it put the series on my radar, though I guess luckily the fourth was not to be found at that time, so I only got the original three of the franchise.

Just hearing what you had to say about it, there is no question in my mind, they probably just said "action movie!" and ran on that abstract with no direction. What reason would they have for any of that stuff besides that they think it is cool and awesome that he survives a nuclear blast in a fridge? It is the crazy action hero endurance taken to the Nth unrealistic and stupid as all hell degree.

What worries me more is that this is a running trend with the popular franchises he established. This is probably not the last video that will be released to great popularity, yet will be of the same caliber as his Star Wars and Indiana Jones sequels.

Yea, I was pretty dissapointed with this film. I felt like Indy was stuck in a film he didn't want to be in. The worst part is that stephen Spielberg could have prevented the film from being made. He was against the whole idea and plot of the 4th film, but because George Lucas threw such a little bitch fit Stephen gave in. AND now their making a 5th one. GAWD. As you said first George tottally destroys Star Wars and now he's desided to MURDERIZE (Yes, I realize it's not a word) Indy. NOT COOL.

so i guess you didnt like this movie spoony.

i LOVED this movie in fact i saw it 3 times and i payed 4 the 2 discer dvd it was an awsome add 2 the movies not as good as the others (Temple was my fav) but still GOD you ppl can be FREAKS abt theez things if ANY of the past movies had came out l8ter you wood be all hateing on them 2! get ur freeking sex toys out of ur asses and enjoy the fact that kids can enjoy the awsomeness that is jones spoony .. i love ya 2 bits man but this *tisk* is just silly.... i meen ur my fav reviewer i love almost all ur vids even the spoony bum but this is just DUMB (also any indy fan knows he duzznt die he grows old and losses an eye just check indy wiki)

p.s CANT WAIT FOR INDY 5<3

I feel betrayed...and sad and...kinda depressed. How could they rape indie like that? Its just not right...

I can't speak for the series I only ever saw Temple of Doom, and the ending of Raiders of the lost Ark, but I will say this, I can't say I enjoyed it, while it flowed, it was boring , the action felt rote and overly cliched and Shia LeBouff (is that spelt correctly), the only part I enjoyed was the ants eating people because there is hope there, eat the whiny teenager, EAT HIM!!!!

I do agree with your review but not to such an extreme, probably because it isn't my childhood icon being destroyed, but I can say, I feel for you and the poor bastards who recieve my beatings as I slap the stupid out of them. (look out George Lucas, Uwe Boll, Paris Hilton, Stephanie Myer and Brittany Spears)



PS: I wil eat the people who made a Gears of War sequel, good game but it wasn't needed, stop making FPS's and make a bloody platformer like Golden Axe, or Castlevania Bloodlines, they kicked ass

No, I think you're full of shit. I feel like your definitely full of shit.

The Indiana Jones series never had any concern for continuity and was always a kind of side spoof to the 40's serials. Now, the latest is more of a spoof to their 50's counterparts, which was of course more centric on scifi.

The only true fault I feel with the film is that it's now all digital and thus losing its nostalgia factor, which was probably what made the Star Wars prequel and special edition worst, most people probably didn't get the difference and probably blamed it on something else.

Also, it's bad to apply physics to an Indiana Jones film, because if you push pass the nostalgia (ie. George Lucas's Worst Enemy) you'll discover that all the movies breach logic to an unreasonable amount. It was just the the fact that you were young when you saw it and it didn't bother you as much because you were young.
(http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=3162)

Please don't eat during a review. Could not finish.

I remember actually kinda enjoying this film when I saw it in the cinema, but I couldn't have been paying attention because I went to this film on a date and when the alien appeared at the end I was surprised this film had anything to do with aliens when I should have known that from the beginning.

It was terrible... nothing more can be said. Doesn't deserve so much as a mention beside the movies that came before it.

I enjoyed it. Nowhere near as excellent as Raiders of the Lost Ark, but on about the same level as Temple of Doom and Last Crusade which is still a cut above most movies. It's the same old popcorn munching fun, this time with a 1950's theme. And frankly, I can live with the 50's themes such as martians and commies. Not as cool as the Ark and the Nazis, but it still works on its own level.

I tought that the lady got her head melted because she got too much info.

I don't know anyone with good things to say about this movie. And if you don't blame George Lucas, blame Shia LaBeof, who's mastered the ability of being the same person in every movie.

Spoony, glad you hate that kid too! "You made a worse movie then Michael Bay!" lol Couldn't agree more man!

Okay I will admit that this movie was not exactly the best Indy film ever, but it was still a good movie. I really don't understand why people hate this thing so much