Giving up on Quicksilver. Again.

Spoony | Jan 3 2009 | more | 
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A while back I started reading Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson, the first in a long (I repeat, long) series of books known as the Baroque Cycle.

I couldn’t get past the first hundred pages.

At first I chalked it up to the tedium of my job, a general sense of ennui, low energy, and disinterest in reading anything “heavy.” But after giving it another chance, and suffering through the first book, I simply can’t stand it anymore. Quicksilver is, to be blunt, abusively dull. And despite what you might think, I’m not the kind of guy who demands ninjas, action heroes, and pulp adventure in a novel to fill the Awesome Quota. But I do demand that something fucking happen. This book should be right up my alley; I love speculative fiction. This alternate history shit is fascinating to me. But my god, it’s just unbearable. Nothing happens. I kept waiting for 500 pages for Stephenson to reach some kind of goddamn point, raise some kind of dramatic tension, or even set up the beginnings of some kind of conflict, and nothing of that sort happens.

I feel really guilty about it, too. I love this fucking guy. Snow Crash and Zodiac are works of sheer genius, and the Baroque Cycle was supposed to be his masterpiece. You can tell the guy spent years, if not decades researching this crap, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t use every fucking note he took in this endless, rambling pile of garbage.

Sorry Neal. I gave you about 400 more pages’ worth of my attention than I’d give anyone else to get me interested. I don’t know how anyone can write three books of over 3,000 pages and forget to tell a story, but you pulled it off. You shouldn’t have called if Quicksilver, you should have called it Filibuster.

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  • Kuncoss

    I like the term “abusively dull”, it sounds like someone coming at you with a bat that has “Dull” written on it in giant letters. Anyway, I know too how it is to really try to get into a book by an author you usally like but one of his/her perticular books just doesn’t have the spark of interest.

    It can be frustrating and sad at the same time.

  • Kuncoss

    I like the term “abusively dull”, it sounds like someone coming at you with a bat that has “Dull” written on it in giant letters. Anyway, I know too how it is to really try to get into a book by an author you usally like but one of his/her perticular books just doesn’t have the spark of interest.

    It can be frustrating and sad at the same time.

  • wolfish

    gotta agree on the situation.

  • wolfish

    gotta agree on the situation.

  • http://merlkir.deviantart.com/ Merlkir

    Ech, that’s bad, I was looking forward to reading that :/

  • http://merlkir.deviantart.com Merlkir

    Ech, that’s bad, I was looking forward to reading that :/

  • Nesgeek

    That’s too bad you couldn’t get into the book. I have read the Baroque Cycle twice now and loved it. I will agree with you the first book takes a long time to develope the characters. Nothing really happens in the book until you get to the story of Jack and Eliza. The Confusion and System of the World do pick up in excitement. When I first read Quicksilver I was really looking forward to it. I must admit when I picked it up the second time I rushed through it to get to the next book in the cycle. I hope Anethem is more exciting from the start.

  • Nesgeek

    That’s too bad you couldn’t get into the book. I have read the Baroque Cycle twice now and loved it. I will agree with you the first book takes a long time to develope the characters. Nothing really happens in the book until you get to the story of Jack and Eliza. The Confusion and System of the World do pick up in excitement. When I first read Quicksilver I was really looking forward to it. I must admit when I picked it up the second time I rushed through it to get to the next book in the cycle. I hope Anethem is more exciting from the start.

  • Frood

    Yup spot on. Was really pumped for this Stephenson novel and pretty much had the same reaction as you. Its not exactly racy.

  • Frood

    Yup spot on. Was really pumped for this Stephenson novel and pretty much had the same reaction as you. Its not exactly racy.

  • Xexyzl

    I read Cryptonomicon first and then tried out some of Quicksilver. I was interested by the character connections but for some reason never continued. Spoony, have you read Cryptonomicon already?

  • Xexyzl

    I read Cryptonomicon first and then tried out some of Quicksilver. I was interested by the character connections but for some reason never continued. Spoony, have you read Cryptonomicon already?

  • Clark

    Dark Tower!

  • Clark

    Dark Tower!

  • PressDown

    I had the same issue with ‘On the Beach’. 300 pages later, and STILL there was no plot.

  • PressDown

    I had the same issue with ‘On the Beach’. 300 pages later, and STILL there was no plot.

  • AB Positive

    Ah, so is that why I was able to pick up the paperback from B&N for a whopping $2?

    I’m not much of a reader of note but Snow Crash had me from page one till the end and figured I’d try another Stephenson. I’ll still give it a go but I don’t have too much hope.

    However I’ll be on the lookout for Zodiac now

  • AB Positive

    Ah, so is that why I was able to pick up the paperback from B&N for a whopping $2?

    I’m not much of a reader of note but Snow Crash had me from page one till the end and figured I’d try another Stephenson. I’ll still give it a go but I don’t have too much hope.

    However I’ll be on the lookout for Zodiac now

  • Anonymous

    I got through Quicksilver eventually. It was a very dull period in my life, so my entertainment standards were low.

    I’ve got the other two books now, and I’d like to read them as I hear they’re quite good, but the problem is I’ve forgotten most of the endless setup and character development from Quicksilver by now…so to read the rest, I’d first have to reread Quicksilver, and Jesus God the thought fills me with shivers.

  • thepld

    I had the same problem with Card’s Xenocide. I made it about 9/10 of the book in. Despite multiple new characters being introduced constantly, and hundreds of pages of uninteresting, repetitive dialogue, absolutely nothing happened to advance the plot or resolve the central conflict.

  • Phasma Felis

    I got through Quicksilver eventually. It was a very dull period in my life, so my entertainment standards were low.

    I’ve got the other two books now, and I’d like to read them as I hear they’re quite good, but the problem is I’ve forgotten most of the endless setup and character development from Quicksilver by now…so to read the rest, I’d first have to reread Quicksilver, and Jesus God the thought fills me with shivers.

  • thepld

    I had the same problem with Card’s Xenocide. I made it about 9/10 of the book in. Despite multiple new characters being introduced constantly, and hundreds of pages of uninteresting, repetitive dialogue, absolutely nothing happened to advance the plot or resolve the central conflict.

  • Anonymous

    Neal Stephenson must have a rule about not starting the story for at least one hundred pages, and I’ve heard that Anathem is not an exception. In fact from what I’ve heard, it’s worse, because you’re expected to learn a language in the book. I guess he really wants to weed out the casual reader.

    I find him an annoying person to be honest. Everyone raves about him, but every single one of his books is off-putting in some way. With Snow Crash, I was lost amid the conversational (somewhat lazy) style. It probably fit the book, looking back now, but what the hell.

    Anyway, we disagree about Neal in general. Nothing wrong with that right?

  • whiteflags

    Neal Stephenson must have a rule about not starting the story for at least one hundred pages, and I’ve heard that Anathem is not an exception. In fact from what I’ve heard, it’s worse, because you’re expected to learn a language in the book. I guess he really wants to weed out the casual reader.

    I find him an annoying person to be honest. Everyone raves about him, but every single one of his books is off-putting in some way. With Snow Crash, I was lost amid the conversational (somewhat lazy) style. It probably fit the book, looking back now, but what the hell.

    Anyway, we disagree about Neal in general. Nothing wrong with that right?

  • Austin S.

    Xexyzl said Dark Tower! Dark Tower must be the one by Stephen King.

    Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson sounds interesting, so I might give it a shot someday..

    ..::Long live the Angry Video Game Nerd!::..

  • Austin S.

    Xexyzl said Dark Tower! Dark Tower must be the one by Stephen King.

    Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson sounds interesting, so I might give it a shot someday..

    ..::Long live the Angry Video Game Nerd!::..

  • Xexyzl

    Read the name below your post. I’ve never bothered to read Dark Tower.

    Oh yeah and the only thing that really put me off of Snow Crash was the whole Y.T. & Raven & Dentata thing. That was just kinda weird.

  • Xexyzl

    Read the name below your post. I’ve never bothered to read Dark Tower.

    Oh yeah and the only thing that really put me off of Snow Crash was the whole Y.T. & Raven & Dentata thing. That was just kinda weird.

  • redragon104

    Im in exactly the same spot as you. I’ve had quicksilver since it came out, and ive tried to read it like 5 times, but I never finish. I have it in hardcover, and it must be like 10 pounds, I have to read it like sitting at a table, because I just don’t want to lift this book while reading it.

    I loved Cryptonomicon though, and this is the same length, I just can’t get into this Quicksilver.

  • redragon104

    Im in exactly the same spot as you. I’ve had quicksilver since it came out, and ive tried to read it like 5 times, but I never finish. I have it in hardcover, and it must be like 10 pounds, I have to read it like sitting at a table, because I just don’t want to lift this book while reading it.

    I loved Cryptonomicon though, and this is the same length, I just can’t get into this Quicksilver.

  • Planeforger

    I’ve read them all, and lived to tell the tale (although I can’t get through more than a few pages of Anathem, his latest book).

    As for Quicksilver, the first book/part/whatever was mind-nimbingly dull, the second ‘book’ was awesome (or maybe just relatively awesome – in any case, Jack Shaftoe is a great anti-hero), and the last third was somewhere in between. Fortunately, you *can* skip ahead to Jack’s section, since I don’t remember it being related to the first story…but it might not be worth it if he’s the only interesting protagonist in the trilogy.

    The sequel (The Confusion) was much better – basically one big pirate tale with assorted war and assassination subplots. The problem is actually getting to the sequel. :P

  • Planeforger

    I’ve read them all, and lived to tell the tale (although I can’t get through more than a few pages of Anathem, his latest book).

    As for Quicksilver, the first book/part/whatever was mind-nimbingly dull, the second ‘book’ was awesome (or maybe just relatively awesome – in any case, Jack Shaftoe is a great anti-hero), and the last third was somewhere in between. Fortunately, you *can* skip ahead to Jack’s section, since I don’t remember it being related to the first story…but it might not be worth it if he’s the only interesting protagonist in the trilogy.

    The sequel (The Confusion) was much better – basically one big pirate tale with assorted war and assassination subplots. The problem is actually getting to the sequel. :P

  • Jack of Gears

    Hilariously I’m in the same situation.

    I bought those books years ago and I’ve tried to read Quicksilver… maybe three times and stopped around 100 pages in.

    I’ll ready ANYTHING and I can’t get through that book. Nothing happens.

    Hell, I read “Needful Things”, which is almost 700 pages long, of which 650 pages are lead-up.

    “Speaker for the Dead” was ridiculous, and is one of those bizarre books that managed to REDUCE my enjoyment of the previous book in the series. As did the whateveritwas retelling of Enders Game by Bean. What the heck was Orson up too? It’s like he wrote this awesome, perfect little book, and then has spent I think… four books now slowly mutilating his original narrative.

    What sold me on the Dark Tower series was the world. The first book has little directed narrative, but at least things happen and the Gunslinger moves forwards. In Quicksilver it feels like you’re watching all of the characters slowly spin in circles.

  • Jack of Gears

    Hilariously I’m in the same situation.

    I bought those books years ago and I’ve tried to read Quicksilver… maybe three times and stopped around 100 pages in.

    I’ll ready ANYTHING and I can’t get through that book. Nothing happens.

    Hell, I read “Needful Things”, which is almost 700 pages long, of which 650 pages are lead-up.

    “Speaker for the Dead” was ridiculous, and is one of those bizarre books that managed to REDUCE my enjoyment of the previous book in the series. As did the whateveritwas retelling of Enders Game by Bean. What the heck was Orson up too? It’s like he wrote this awesome, perfect little book, and then has spent I think… four books now slowly mutilating his original narrative.

    What sold me on the Dark Tower series was the world. The first book has little directed narrative, but at least things happen and the Gunslinger moves forwards. In Quicksilver it feels like you’re watching all of the characters slowly spin in circles.

  • Splinter of Chaos

    Why is it all this bashing of these books has encouraged me to add them to my list? But, I guess that’s because I’m spoiled on good books, the only bad ones I’ve read being the ones school had me read.

  • Splinter of Chaos

    Why is it all this bashing of these books has encouraged me to add them to my list? But, I guess that’s because I’m spoiled on good books, the only bad ones I’ve read being the ones school had me read.

  • Kayla Anderson

    I tried listening to Quicksilver (I used to work somewhere where my day was spent listening to audiobooks while I typed) and couldn’t make it more than a few minutes. It was painfully boring. I also haven’t made it past Wizard and Glass in the Dark Tower series because its hard to listen to someone other than Frank Mueller do it.

  • Kayla Anderson

    I tried listening to Quicksilver (I used to work somewhere where my day was spent listening to audiobooks while I typed) and couldn’t make it more than a few minutes. It was painfully boring. I also haven’t made it past Wizard and Glass in the Dark Tower series because its hard to listen to someone other than Frank Mueller do it.

  • Matthew

    Have you read Cryptonomicon? Because it changes the tone of the book, at least it did for me. I also loved Snow Crash, but if you are looking for another one of his books, try The Diamond Age.

  • Matthew

    Have you read Cryptonomicon? Because it changes the tone of the book, at least it did for me. I also loved Snow Crash, but if you are looking for another one of his books, try The Diamond Age.

  • markedymark

    i heard that curtis :)

  • markedymark

    i heard that curtis :)

  • Mysterious Stranger

    Is it klass
    is it maddd
    is it good

  • Mysterious Stranger

    Is it klass
    is it maddd
    is it good

  • Anonymous

    Yo bro you should post teasers on youtube, cause I didn’t even know that you have released 3 new videos :/.

  • L

    Yo bro you should post teasers on youtube, cause I didn’t even know that you have released 3 new videos :/.

  • Sportacus

    READ HOUSE OF LEAVES

    Everyone should

  • Sportacus

    READ HOUSE OF LEAVES

    Everyone should

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/ Spoony

    I read Cryptonomicon a while ago, and actually, I had similar problems with it. It started out with all the makings of a taut techno-thriller and ended up radically changing gears to a subplot about the Nazi Enigma cipher, and somehow tied it all into a rather ho-hum treasure hunt. In fact, I even found some of the core concepts of the novel (ie. the difficulty in generating truly random numbers) rather unconvincing.

  • http://www.spoonyexperiment.com Spoony

    I read Cryptonomicon a while ago, and actually, I had similar problems with it. It started out with all the makings of a taut techno-thriller and ended up radically changing gears to a subplot about the Nazi Enigma cipher, and somehow tied it all into a rather ho-hum treasure hunt. In fact, I even found some of the core concepts of the novel (ie. the difficulty in generating truly random numbers) rather unconvincing.

  • http://www.laphalene.com/ Phalene

    I hear you. Anathem is even worse, because he creates a fantastic world that is a slightly stilted version of this one, and instead of the very vivid descriptions that make Stephenson’s tendency to get lost in a tangent amusing, we get pages and pages of characters talking about physics and philosophy with made up names for all the modern philisophical concepts.

    All the action seems to take place as the hero talking to people to catch up with what they’ve been doing except for one small sliver of the story, and even then the hero-will-not-shut-up. Granted it’s first person narration, but he manages to turn even a conflict on a mountain top into a philisophical debate. There is no character development, just an introduction to make it clear that the Avout are vastly superior with their ivory tower way of life, (ie teaching themselves kung fu from a book, awesome mutant plants to fill their every need, etc…) and the age of the central characters, many of whom are 18-ish, makes the position of authority they’re rapidly launched to feel like a Japanese RPG.

    Beyond that, there’s no new ideas here. There’s his main ‘everyman’, a guy just smart enough to know how little he knows, the person with terminal Aspergers, an old guy who mysteriously knows what’s going on, a conspiracy involving more human co-operation than has thus far proven possible in real life, and his stock ‘just as smart as a man, but in possesion of mystical emotional intelligence and firey passion’ women.

  • http://www.laphalene.com/ Phalene

    I hear you. Anathem is even worse, because he creates a fantastic world that is a slightly stilted version of this one, and instead of the very vivid descriptions that make Stephenson’s tendency to get lost in a tangent amusing, we get pages and pages of characters talking about physics and philosophy with made up names for all the modern philisophical concepts.

    All the action seems to take place as the hero talking to people to catch up with what they’ve been doing except for one small sliver of the story, and even then the hero-will-not-shut-up. Granted it’s first person narration, but he manages to turn even a conflict on a mountain top into a philisophical debate. There is no character development, just an introduction to make it clear that the Avout are vastly superior with their ivory tower way of life, (ie teaching themselves kung fu from a book, awesome mutant plants to fill their every need, etc…) and the age of the central characters, many of whom are 18-ish, makes the position of authority they’re rapidly launched to feel like a Japanese RPG.

    Beyond that, there’s no new ideas here. There’s his main ‘everyman’, a guy just smart enough to know how little he knows, the person with terminal Aspergers, an old guy who mysteriously knows what’s going on, a conspiracy involving more human co-operation than has thus far proven possible in real life, and his stock ‘just as smart as a man, but in possesion of mystical emotional intelligence and firey passion’ women.

  • GAZZA

    Thank goodness – I thought it was just me.

    I _did_ struggle through it. The second book is worse – much worse – and while the third one moves a bit quicker it’s still very tedious. I felt much like I felt after reading the Silmarillion – bored out of my skull, glad that it was over, and determined never to engage in such self destructive behaviour again.

  • GAZZA

    Thank goodness – I thought it was just me.

    I _did_ struggle through it. The second book is worse – much worse – and while the third one moves a bit quicker it’s still very tedious. I felt much like I felt after reading the Silmarillion – bored out of my skull, glad that it was over, and determined never to engage in such self destructive behaviour again.

  • anonymous

    You haven’t mentioned Cryptonomicon so I’ll second the recommendation for it. I loved it, I personally thought it was vastly better than Snow Crash.

  • anonymous

    You haven’t mentioned Cryptonomicon so I’ll second the recommendation for it. I loved it, I personally thought it was vastly better than Snow Crash.

  • Meshi

    Okay, about that cop, WORST DETECTIVE EVER! Geez, she makes Inspector Clouseau look like Hercule Poirot! Yeah, the CEO of Satan, Inc. just ServPro’d your crime scene TWICE, but don’t keep battering down his door. Let’s focus on the creepy, bi-curious computer nerd who may love his rat way too much.

  • Meshi

    Okay, about that cop, WORST DETECTIVE EVER! Geez, she makes Inspector Clouseau look like Hercule Poirot! Yeah, the CEO of Satan, Inc. just ServPro’d your crime scene TWICE, but don’t keep battering down his door. Let’s focus on the creepy, bi-curious computer nerd who may love his rat way too much.

  • http://wisdomofbookmonkey.blogspot.com/ bookmonkey

    I actually just read “The Diamond Age” and was really looking forward to more of Stephenson’s work, ah well, at least Quicksilver sounds like useful fodder for blogs and reviews.

  • http://wisdomofbookmonkey.blogspot.com bookmonkey

    I actually just read “The Diamond Age” and was really looking forward to more of Stephenson’s work, ah well, at least Quicksilver sounds like useful fodder for blogs and reviews.

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