My crack research staff have informed me that, in The Protector, the famous “passing of the torch” scene is faked!!
That’s not Jackie Fucking Chan!
It’s a lookalike! Seriously, what the hell? You just can’t do this! You can’t fake the passing of a torch when no torch has, in fact, been passed! There has been no torch passage! Foul, I say! FOUL!!
What kind of balls does it take to stage your own torch-passing? That’s not torch-passing, that’s torch-stealing!
I’m pissed off now. Can Jackie do something about this? I need to get Jackie on the phone so he can go get his torch back. Tony Jaa fucking STOLE HIS TORCH. This isn’t right, do you hear me? THIS. IS NOT. RIGHT!!