There’s something about people correcting other people in the middle of a conversation that really gets my goat. Sure, if it’s a fact necessary to the understanding of the conversation, or a key foundation of someone’s argument, then you should make the correction. It’s only fair, and best to get the misunderstanding resolved as quickly as possible. But sometimes people only do it to be assholes, or to make themselves sound more intelligent or well-read than they really are. It pisses me off, and while I agree, the person making the error should probably know better, sometimes you’ve just got to let this shit slide for the sake of keeping the conversation rolling.
Frankenstein – It’s normally kids who grow up thinking of the monster as simply “Frankenstein,” and there’s always some asshole who feels the need to chime in and remind everyone in the room that it’s “Frankenstein’s monster,” and that Frankenstein was the doctor. No shit. Everyone knows that. Even the kids really know that. But everyone thinks they’re so damn smart when they correct people on this minor, insignificant point. Why bother? People generally call the monster “Frankenstein” for the sake of brevity, not because they’re idiots. I understand the distinction, but seriously, everyone knows who you mean when you mention Frankenstein. Don’t be a prick.
“Where did you leave it last?” – On your mom’s nightstand, dipshit. If I knew where I left it last, I’d probably fucking have it, wouldn’t I?
Hellsing: “It’s Arucard.” – It’s Alucard, and I will personally punch you in the throat for suggesting otherwise. Oh yes, I know it’s spelled “Arucard” in the subtitles. That’s because the people doing the translation are morons, and the Japanese can’t pronounce a fucking L. Just because they pronounce it “Arucard” doesn’t mean that’s the way his name is spelled. “Alucard” is clearly the reversal of “Dracula”, not freaking “Dracura.” Don’t be an idiot.
“Star Wars sucks because George Lucas ripped off Akira Kurosawa.” – Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you hard with the bent end of Count Dooku’s weird lightsaber. I’ll rarely take George’s side on anything, but I can’t believe people honestly believe this garbage.
There’s a world of fucking difference between ripping-off a story and honoring those stories by telling them in a new, exciting, reinvisioned manner. You really think Lucas ripped off Kurosawa? Yes, structurally, A New Hope is very similar to Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress in that there happen to be people fighting with swords and saving a princess from an evil warlord’s stronghold. And that’s supposed to prove anything? I could name a hundred– no, a thousand movies or more that involve that kind of story. That’s not a rip-off, that’s just storytelling, and those similarities go down through the ages to the beginning of the oral storytelling tradition. And I hate citing the frigging Power of Myth and Hero With a Thousand Faces, but it’s true.
Look, you could point at almost any movie and find striking similarities to older films. Almost every modern action movie is derivative of some other action flick. The entire Western movie genre is basically old samurai flicks transported to a new setting and populated with gunslingers instead of samurai. And yes, almost every single scene of Star Wars could probably be directly traced to a plot element of an older, classic movie. That’s the point. It’s a re-telling of a classic, timeless epic, translating those older stories to a futuristic setting, while retaining many of the classic samurai elements at its core. I’m sorry, but I just can’t buy the “rip-off” argument when I don’t recall any robots, any Jawas, any Star Destroyers, or any world-destroying lasers in any Kurosawa film.
If you don’t like it, say you don’t like it. But don’t come to me whining that George Lucas didn’t write an original story. If you want to get technical, there probably aren’t any original stories, and if that bothers you, you probably just hate movies in general.
Exception to the rule – “Luke, I am your father.” – You should always correct people when they misquote the iconic line from The Empire Strikes Back. This one sends me into an instant rage every time I hear it, because the conversation goes like THIS:
Vader: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Luke: "He told me enough. He told me you killed him."
Vader: "No. I am your father."
I know people only add the word “Luke” in there because without it, the sentence loses much of its context, but what in the hell are you doing quoting Star Wars anyway if you’re not going to quote it properly? Real fanboys like myself are honor-bound to slap the shit out of you. I saw “Luke, I am your father” as some bullshit trivia question playing before a movie in a theater, and I nearly set the goddamn building on fire. That’s not the line! I have enough problems with George Lucas taking a massive shit on the franchise that shaped my childhood without you perverting its noble memory with your ignorant parroting of the greatest plot twist ever.