The Golden Child in 5 Seconds

by Spoony on March 22, 2009 · View Comments

My dear sweet brutha Loompsey!

{ 44 comments }

Spork March 22, 2009 at 5:15 pm: Was this movie good or bad? I can’t tell. :|

I blame the chunky asses.
JayAkumA March 22, 2009 at 5:15 pm: meh i’ve seen funnier 5 second movies
Gauphastus March 22, 2009 at 5:19 pm: Man, I loved that movie.. in a sort of Big Trouble In Little China way.
I guess.
Tai MT March 22, 2009 at 5:42 pm: I loved the movie. It was a fun ride, and it was Eddie Murphy before he became the “you only come see these movies because I’m in them” guy.

Plus, I liked the whole test to get the dagger. That was cool.
Jaclyn March 22, 2009 at 5:51 pm: Ah that’s where you got that quote from for your review of The Thing, Spoony.
MrTroy March 22, 2009 at 6:13 pm: More like TWELVE seconds. Thats 240% times as long as advertised
Spoony March 22, 2009 at 6:17 pm: But more than double the savings!
alldreamsfalldown March 22, 2009 at 6:45 pm: A 5 secoind movie? *Nostalgia Critic* “I heard that Curti…er…Noah”.
Sardonius March 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm: This is one of those movies you enjoy to catch on a whim on TV or something, although I would have liked to see the “I-I-I-I-I want the kniiiife” part at the end, still amusing nonetheless.
Kris March 22, 2009 at 7:11 pm: Holy shit!
That’s where that phrase came from!

Keep using it, Spoony… It’s really funny :)
MICROmor March 22, 2009 at 7:36 pm: I was expecting some super fast montage or something… that was a bit cheap on your side huh?
Sifer2 March 22, 2009 at 8:30 pm: Guess he posted this so we would know where its from if he wants to use it more. I remember it now but would not have before. An yeah it is kind of like Big Trouble in Little China. Though I love the latter even better. It’s the kind of movie to watch on a rainy day.
MatrimC March 22, 2009 at 8:52 pm: I don’t think any “5 seconds movie” from Eddie Murphy’s productions would be perfect with out a clip of his laughter… ;)

The movie was pretty good for what I can remember. One of my favourites when I was a small boy… I loved the mystery behind the boy and I remember clearly the part where they repeatly tried to feed blood to the golden boy *not yummy*
Certifiable March 22, 2009 at 9:42 pm: Even though it was advertising, the dancing Pepsi can man was awesomely animated for the time, stop motion and all!
Vaughn Fry March 22, 2009 at 10:29 pm: You completely overlooked the fair Charlotte Lewis.
Coldguy March 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm: Cmon, how could you deny “I I I I I want the knife!”
Chris Smedley March 22, 2009 at 11:34 pm: Lol, that was….. odd
marbles21 March 22, 2009 at 11:41 pm: I haven’t seen this movie in so long. I remember it being a bit of a guilty pleasure, in a “so cheesy you can’t help but be entertained” kind of way.
LurkerWithout March 23, 2009 at 12:39 am: While the Rules DO allow you to love one crappy Eddie Murphy movie, you keep picking the wrong one. The correct choice is “Vampire in Brooklyn”…
Cthulhu07 March 23, 2009 at 2:23 am: Aah The Golden Child. I’ve seen it so many times over the years, I’ve actually lost count. Yeah, I know it’s cheesy and it’s not the greatest movie ever, but dammit, it’s by far much better than any of the crap Eddie Murphy has done lately.
Jeremy March 23, 2009 at 2:39 am: Yeah, that about sums it up.
LaughingMan March 23, 2009 at 3:52 am: Now there’s a weird-ass movie worth reviewing.
Shygetz March 23, 2009 at 5:14 am: I absolutely love that movie! But it’s “Noompsey”, not “Loompsey”, short for Sardo Numspa.
DamonD March 23, 2009 at 6:30 am: I said I, I, I-I-I-I-I-I, want the kniiiife.
Kevin Holsinger March 23, 2009 at 6:39 am: Oh, for f*ck’s sake. I can’t even watch a thirty second video without Blip chopping it up?!

On the plus side, Mr. Spoony, thou hast proven me wrong. I didn’t think you could do a video this short (I happen to like how long and thorough your work is), but you did it.
Northlander March 23, 2009 at 6:47 am: Oh great, now you’ve made me want to watch it again. But then, since I own in on DVD, I can do that any time I want to.
Jose March 23, 2009 at 10:03 am: Yea I agree with DamonD. I like how your videos are so unscripted.
karry March 23, 2009 at 10:34 am: Wait, what ? Nostalgia Critic infected Spoony with that shitty “5 seconds” project of his ?
Sportacus, March 23, 2009 at 12:28 pm: Love that music
Mahiar Ghannadi March 23, 2009 at 3:37 pm: Ok, this 5 seconds shit has got to stop. It’s not funny anymore. Maybe 10 years ago, but today thats just bullshit.
Booze Zombie March 23, 2009 at 4:44 pm: If you don’t like 5 second movies WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CLICKING ON THEM!?!
It’s clearly been titled as such, do you need your eyes checked?
Jeff_Cotser March 23, 2009 at 8:13 pm: Damn! This whole time I thought it was Numpsy. My world crushed.
Space Otter King/Ambassador March 24, 2009 at 2:26 am: Not only was that funny but the ad at the end showed me a great deal on a Toyota Prius.

Thanks internets. :D
Littlenorwegians March 24, 2009 at 3:10 am: Hehe, I find it to be funny that some people are screaming foul and are making statements on why this is shit, and that there are people who protect it and try to be reasonable. No offense to you people, btw.

Why not, I dunno, just not care, hm?
It’s not like this is really halting Spoonie’s other stuff.
Maybe people just like to make noise. Anyways it’s always funny to see some internet drama.
SeniorTonberry March 24, 2009 at 4:48 am: All I can say is that I would rather watch five seconds of this than watch “Pluto Nash.” Can I get an AMEN?
Matrim March 24, 2009 at 7:55 am: “Damn! This whole time I thought it was Numpsy. My world crushed.”

It’s Numsey (spelling being incidental). He was making fun of his full name, Sardo Numspa. Spoony done gone fucked up. WHEE!!!!
fechi March 24, 2009 at 10:00 am: No lo entendi.
Phil March 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm: Spoony you should do a review of the new Dragon Ball Z movie that came out if you get the time… I heard it was really bad!
Li; March 25, 2009 at 7:13 am: Booze Zombie – Don’t fret, it’s Numspa!
Daniel March 25, 2009 at 6:30 pm: check out my 5 second movie of dragonball evolution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J2GRcrOfDM
Very nice spoony you the man. I consider you as great a talent as the nerd and NC. No joke man
NaclynE March 26, 2009 at 6:59 pm: “Maybe he should ask more politely”
*chuckles* (looks and spindle)
(starts spinning wheel like a record player) “I I I I I want the knife” (spins wheel again and starts making hand gestures) “Pleeeeeeeeease”
(shrine Elder smiles)
spoony is god deal with it fags :D August 2, 2009 at 5:54 am: chunky asses XP lol i remember that scene its worth watching the entire film for that couple of seconds XD
Parallax October 2, 2009 at 9:06 am: Zuul, mothaf*cker, Zuul!
Nick Vossen February 19, 2010 at 5:56 pm: The movie is meh but the music damn it kicks ass!!