The Spoony Experiment

Final Fantasy VIII Review: Part 10 – Time Loop

by Spoony on April 1, 2009 · View Comments

Bite-size version is here.

To understand why Final Fantasy VIII sucks so hard, you need to take a trip back to the past– 2000 years into the past, to be exact. But will we be able to get back to the future with our sanity intact?

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April Fool’s Edit: Okay, in case the joke was over your head, it was that I was doing an exaggerated, manic review of a classic, good game. I was parodying my own style in overanalyzing the plot of a game during a time when games basically had plots no more complex than “your girlfriend was punched in the stomach and kidnapped.” I’m a little surprised people weren’t able to pick up the extremely thickly-trawled layer of sarcasm over my usual tone of voice (“OOOOOOOH, that’ll pay the rent!”) and my rant about “what could possibly stop the lady made of fire who throws fire,” but I guess that’s the fun of April Fool’s, that some people will believe anything.

This was essentially my way of doing a funny review of a good game, and seeing who would take the flamebait. The “Rise of Insano” sketch is a possible origin story, since the origins of Doctor Insano are shrouded in mystery and may never be truly known.

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Squall’s Dead | The Spoony Experiment
February 18, 2010 at 5:53 am

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Ryan June 7, 2009 at 8:47 pm

I hate fanboys. I can’t seem to convince them that just because they like the game doesn’t change the fact that the game is still complete ass.

Don’t they realize Square didn’t even finish the game and left out plot devices, the game doesn’t make any fucking sense yet they love it.

Seriously….Seifer kills Odin…what the fuck kind of game turns the Norse god into fodder for someone who was too stupid to get into a squad that the likes of Zell, Selphie and Irvine were able to? Does that even fucking make any sense? This gawd damn games fans piss me off. I thought I was the only one who felt this way….glad I;m not alone.

Nosveractu June 7, 2009 at 9:26 pm

So … Linkara was right all along … Dr Insano is The Chick with the goggles! Damn and I thought it was Marz girl.

Stevo1230 June 13, 2009 at 7:29 pm

April fools?…..”Son of a submariner, you’ll pay for this!” Just kidding, I know it’s just a joke. Great vid man. I just felt like spouting random funny FF quotes. One of my other favorites is when Barrett randomly shouts out “@%$&^ Pizza!!!” early in FF7. Yeah, I think there was a little lost in translation.

P.S. FIENDS!!!

Dave Davidson June 14, 2009 at 5:13 am

It looks like old Dr. Insano is here to create more STINKY FEET!

I hate that commercial.

DamuEmran June 16, 2009 at 10:19 pm

I love how you said “Fiends” in that accent it made me laugh ever time. LOl at people playing with one character. Dude FF8 plot is not that bad

Melissa June 19, 2009 at 6:12 am

When will Part 11 come? DDD: It had been awhile~! Pleasee spoony!

lol nerd June 22, 2009 at 8:38 am

I realise that this review is formed of satire, but your own little time-theory is a bit fail. If you were to go back in time and give yourself your time machine, you would never have a reason to make it in the first place, therefore writing it out of the time line. You would then have a reason to invent it again. Seeing as you don’t remember what happened last time, you go back in time and give yourself the machine again, looping the passage of time.

gfjhfjfgjhf June 22, 2009 at 9:56 am

i personally think its funnier to think that Dr. Insano is really Spoony.
just the thought of him going so far out of his gourd and becoming Dr. Insano is so lame ass yet so entertaining to me, regardless of the continuity errors like when Spoony told him to shut up when he was doing the “Anti-magic force field generator ” sales pitch or when he took off his goggles in the Linkara crossover for the WARRIOR comic review.

MondoMolesto June 24, 2009 at 11:11 am

The game really was shitty…but it was the first of it’s kind i guess. It did introduce a lot of cool things, that they still use in RPG to this day, but still…

The thing that i remembered about it was i thought the first part of the game, before the bridge opens was kinda fun, then you sort of realize “Oh….thats how the whole game is going to be”. As a kid, i remember i never really enjoyed the game all that much, i simply wanted to beat it (which i never did btw). It was more of a time-killer than anything else, not so much entertainment. A lot of the older NES games were like that though, just something to occupy the kids, hopefully keep them from procreating.

GilbertOfDamcyan July 8, 2009 at 1:08 pm

While I’ve generally enjoyed playing Final Fantasy games, and even consider FF VI one of the greatest games of all time, I agree with a lot of the things you bring up in this review.

Joke or not, you at least hit the nail on the head with one thing: The broken-ass battle system!
That was one of the main reasons I never bothered to complete this game until I got the GBA version, which features a fixed battle system. (I think it’s largely the same as the PSX version – which probably also has fixed the hitting-empty-space issue)

That and the fact that you have to spend vast amounts of time just fighting (or, as MMO players would say – grinding) random battles where the enemies are manageable if you are to have any hope of ever being able to progress without cheating or being insanely patient with regards to reloading. (why didn’t you mention that? combined with the retarded battle system, this makes the NES version virtually unplayable – drawing magic in FF8 is a cruise in comparison)

The fact that there isn’t a proper boss theme – just the same regular battle theme (which is also inferior to those of most other FF games) droning on and on battle after battle – doesn’t really help either.

But then again, as MondoMolesto says, I guess it was pretty much the first of its kind, and they just hadn’t really gotten the genre worked out yet.

My recommendation to anyone who hasn’t already played this is, unless you are a REALLY HARDCORE Final Fantasy fan and have already played through all the other games, skip this one, and either play the slightly better FF2, or the almost infinitely better FF IV through VI on SNES (VI is by far the best of them, and has one of the most brilliant soundtracks ever to grace a game). FF VII is also quite good, but tends to be overly slow-paced compared to the older SNES titles, but if you can put up with the seemingly endless dialogue and rather dull storyline that comprises most of Disc 1 (which curiously is about 90% of the game in terms of playtime – Disc 2 is relatively short, and Disc 3 is only the final boss), it has by far the most brilliant character customization system of any FF game, allowing you to turn your character into juggernaughts of destruction with the correct combinations of materia – even the most powerful optional bosses, Ruby and Emerald Weapon will be helpless against you.

Necro973 July 13, 2009 at 8:12 am

Your videos are funny as shit!! When are you going to finish your Final Fantasy 8 review?

Kaliek July 18, 2009 at 8:56 am

Awesome video as always XD Makes me so glad I never actually FINISHED this abomination. Buuut for someone who doesnt like FFVIII you sure do have a lot of the figures, Noah. Oh, and awesome use of the Star Trek 3 scene where the Klingons get blown up on the bridge of the Enterprise due to the Self-Destruct :P

Kaliek July 18, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Errm i clicked the wrong comment button, my previous comment was directed at The Finale video -_-’

Dani Rotness July 21, 2009 at 5:38 am

Now, I’ll be the first to say that FFVIII has weird things, and if you need perfection, well, I’d suggest not playing games or doing anything… but what about the original Final Fantasy being old excuses it from having retarded plot cues? It’s not like stories changed significantly from the late 80s to the late 90s…

And yeah, the FF battle system of assigning attacks and then not attacking if your target has already been downed IS retarded and more than likely due to lazy coding; at least one other game that suffered from it: Lufia & the Fortress of Doom.

Rath July 29, 2009 at 10:43 am

“And yeah, the FF battle system of assigning attacks and then not attacking if your target has already been downed IS retarded and more than likely due to lazy coding”

Coding it to be what we’re all used to in this day and age is impossible on an NES game; there aren’t even patches for it because it’s just not doable. No excuses for Lufia or Golden Sun though; THEY were lazy coding.

As for the actual video, I loved it. ‘Twas a beautiful parody all-in-all for a joke (that I saw a few months too late but I digress). Also, am I mistaken or was that the theme from Ultimecia’s Castle during the Rise of Insano?

Anonymous August 10, 2009 at 10:48 am

Crap, I fell for it. Well, I knew you couldn’t be trusted after you said the whole series sucked. Come on, your username is the Spoonyone.

DODette August 19, 2009 at 1:09 pm

I love this episode!!
Especially the “Dr. Insano Begins” part. That put me to tears!
Oh, and the t-shirt, too… I heard that, Curtis! XD. You have to watch the Phantasmagoria videos to understand that…

Gamefreak August 20, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Hey great review! Its one of my favorites, and I understand how you feel about Final Fantasy. To many people talk about how good the games are and still they suck! When I saw your review I tried out Final Fantasy 1 and it sucked just as much as you said it did! Screw!! these games!

Silk August 27, 2009 at 8:22 am

That was actually really funny. And yes… I know some one (my little brother) who actually played Final Fantasy multiple times with just one class… ><

and woot for the Dr. Who reference yeay.

Troy August 29, 2009 at 3:45 pm

this basically summarizes FF1 in a single rap song….not kidding…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmi_7udjaSE&NR=1

Mistah J August 31, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Well Spoony, if you thought the plot of Final Fantasy 1 was messed up, you’re going to have a lot of trouble playing Dissidia. It complicates the story of Garland even further, and somehow, he and Chaos are separate entities.

Oh, and the big bad Chaos is voiced by the little cat from Coraline.

Argh September 6, 2009 at 11:43 pm

Serious business, eh? I certainly hope this is all an act.

Sanguine Tsundere September 12, 2009 at 1:34 pm

XD I like how as soon as you start talking about time travel, your voice slips into Dr. Insano speech. Brilliant.

Also liking the Doctor Who reference. ^_^

I hope Dr. Insano keeps appearing in your videos every now and again. He’s awesome. I’d happily be his lab assistant any day. :3

Alaska Slim September 12, 2009 at 4:03 pm

There is someone whose is researching a workable theorey on time travel. Porblem is, how he’s figured it out, you can only go as far back in time as the moment the machine itself was turned on, and going foreward in time will be impossible.

Zack Dolan September 19, 2009 at 1:30 am

holy shit, i watched these videos before and thought they were hilarious, but i was just showing them to my brother who is also a big spoony fan and i noticed something.

I just recently finished the friggin hilarious phantasmogoria video set and i just noticed spoony’s shirt in this…”I HEARD that curtis!” I literally almost shit my pants just now…so friggin awesome. I would totally rock a “i heard that curtis” shirt…

Jimmy September 27, 2009 at 3:50 pm

at 9:51 why was your shirt inside-out?

John Doe October 20, 2009 at 7:43 pm

LOL, why’re ya wearing a t-shirt w/ my surname on it?

Dustin October 29, 2009 at 2:53 am

So wait… You became Doctor Insano so you could go back in time and stop the Final Fantasy series from ever happening? Not only do I applaud you, but I completely approve and wish to help. But if you did that, the games wouldn’t exist in the first place. And then there would be no need to go back… which would mean the games would be there because you didn’t go back… prompting you to go back in time to destroy them… which would mean that the games wouldn’t be there for you to need to go back… prompting you not to go back… which would mean the games would be there because you didn’t… AAUUGH! MY HEAD HURTS!!!

Kosher Cowboy November 3, 2009 at 11:39 pm

What magic spell to use?

Slime and snails, puppy dog tails, thunder or lightning?

Well baby says:

“Dance magic dance!”

Nanden November 15, 2009 at 4:19 pm

this joke about spoony becoming dr.insano
is so feaking arsome i love it
and I’d so not ekspektet that is was april fool
ARSOME :D

Draekaar December 31, 2009 at 12:41 pm

watch the phantasmagoria vids >:C

Draekaar December 31, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I approve of your choice of ending theme music ^^

Aphotic Lucent January 5, 2010 at 11:02 am

Why does he have to look so much like Dr. Wily?

theshamster January 8, 2010 at 1:57 am

And thus….Dr Insaneo was born!

theshamster January 8, 2010 at 6:57 am

And thus….Dr Insaneo was born!

ReloadXPsi April 5, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Your very subtle reference to the Street Fighter movie was excellent.

Rhianna. But call me Vamp May 25, 2010 at 7:28 am

*The person you are calling is currently squeeing with joy at the end credits. Please replace the handset, and try again later*

Hikaru Oyama June 2, 2010 at 3:42 pm

I'm sorry, what? In case you somehow haven't noticed, this was Spoony's April Fools episode. He didn't mean any of the things he said about this game. In reality, he actually liked Final Fantasy 1.

This pretty much means that you are agreeing to a video that doesn't even state Spoony's true feelings about the game.

If a video is released on April Fools Day, then you should not take it so seriously that you would agree with the faux opinions.

Kaltzor July 4, 2010 at 2:01 am

The time loop, It happens so that he creates the fiends 2000 years ago, sends them to the future, they in the future save him from dying by sending him back to the past, then after killing the fiends the heroes can go back in the past, there they meet Garland before he created the fiends, so if he killed the heroes he could've created the fiends and sent them to the future causing the story to go back to the point it was at the start of the game.

Thomas Punton July 11, 2010 at 1:31 pm

You could blame Nintendo Power for the idea of having four White Mages in the party. When I saw that challenge I too was like, “That's a stupid idea! Who would do that?”

Square must of known that the writing of the time loop didn't make sense as the GBA remake was rewritten that made a little bit more sense.

Petros Pountidis July 28, 2010 at 7:01 am

I heard THAT Curtis…

Petros Pountidis July 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm

I heard THAT Curtis…

Anonymous August 15, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Spoony if you go back and stop shitty Final Fantasy games, please make sure the still MAKE Final Fantasy games, only not shitty.

Gabriel Marquez August 17, 2010 at 12:18 am

lol…..he’s using footage from the youtube channel of HCBailly

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