The Spoony Experiment

Star Trek review (5-9-09)

by Spoony on May 9, 2009 · View Comments

Should you go where every other Trekkie has gone this weekend? Find out, after learning my geeky opinion!

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  • Jorda75
    I love when Spock gives that big speech on the bridge and is like "THIS IS A DIFFERENT TIME LINE! THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT!" Loved this movie, thought it was really fun, exciting and well paced :)
  • pawcanada84
    As a comic fan I've always been fond of the Alternative/"What If" universes. I like the concept behind Ultimate even if the majority of the comics aren't above meh and i feel the one DECENT series has wasted some of the potential (I LIKED Peter and Kitty as a couple. It offered something DIFFERENT than de-aged Peter and villains with slightly altered origins!).

    Anyway tangent aside, I'm indifferent on Trek. I'm neither a huge fan nor anti it. I remember watching some of Next Generation as a kid and liked what I saw, but never got into it enough to become a Trekkie. However I really enjoyed the film. I felt making a "Star Trek Earth-B" opened the door to some possibly great new ideas for plotlines, which I hope to see more of in the future.

    As for the film itself, I agree a lot with the nitpicks you mentioned, and hadn't considered others until now. However I was still entertained. I loved the fact the crew came together because they could each offer a unique skill to the team and I felt the acting was good. I hope we'll see a sequal and more soon.
  • psychokitty
    This movie is actually what made me curious to go watch the original series and I was surprised by how good it is, cheesy like you said, but good. I mean before this movie I had only seen one episode of the original series and that was tribble trouble. But beyond that and some well known quotes from the show I had absolutely no knowledge of anything. So I think this is actually a good thing, it invites younger generations to take a look at a classic show. Just like the new transformers movie, despite how bad that was, got me into watching the cartoons again. Or how the new Batman, Spider-man, and X-men movies made me want to go find the cartoons again and watch the series that I grew up with. I know I'm not an 70's/80's child so I don't have the same series as you might have had. I was a 90's kid, I grew up with Batman Beyond and X-men Evolution and Transformers Armada, not the originals. But that's kind of the point isn't it. All of these series get reinvented all the time and sometimes they don't always connect. But they invite more people in and possibly make them curious to watch the originals especially when they are done well and do the original justice. I mean just last night I watch the second Star Trek movie, Wrath of Khan, with my little brother who is thirteen and he liked it. Why? Because he saw the new movie first and it gave he basic knowledge of the series it was based off of. Enough to let him in enjoy the old movie.

    Oh and a scenes where there is no lens flare off the top of my head:
    1.Kirk and McCoy on the Starfleet campus talking about Kirk taking the test a third time.
    2.Inside the Starfleet base on Delta Vega while talking with Scotty.
    3.On Vulcan when Spock is saving the elders.
    4.When young Kirk is driving the car down the dirt road and over the cliff.
    5.Basically any scene that happens outside on a planet.
  • dennett316
    Thing is though....why is there any lens flare in the first place? Most film makers go to great lengths to avoid it, yet there were shots in this film on the bridge and there was lens flare obscuring the view. What could possibly be bright enough on the bridge to create a lens flare? It was ridiculous and stuck out like a sore thumb whenever it was used.

    I quite enjoyed the flick, it wasn't Wrath of Khan standard, but it wasn't Star Trek V bad either.
  • psychokitty
    True, I don't know the director so I wouldn't know if it's a style thing or not. Who knows. -shrug-
  • zenithl
    The only Voyager episode you claim to have seen is called Threshold. Yes, it doesn't get any worse than that. The writer of that garbage (Brannon Braga) actually openly disowned that episode. I wouldn't say that Voyager isn't still crap, but you had some amazingly tough luck that you picked one episode to see, and you saw the absolutely worst one.

    As far as I know, while that episode is never explicitly stated to be non-canon (unlike ST5: Final Frontier, which was declared non-canon by Roddenberry himself), anything happened in it (lizard babies, warp 10 etc.) is never to be mentioned again anywhere else, ever.
  • maduce
    The problem I had was with Nero's motivation for revenge. It wasn't as if Spock intentionally stalled so as to let Romulus get destroyed. He simply didn't make it in time!
  • Invertin has a point, the old timeline is still there going down a different fork. There are countless different timelines in trek anyway. The one where everyone is evil, the one where earth gets borgified, the one in the season finale where data and the series Enterprise are still around 25 years later. There`s even an episode of TNG where thousands of realities crash into each other, I dont remember fanboys going ape about that.

    Besides I quite like the `selective amnesia` approach. I`ve been applying the same thing to the Terminator series since I made the mistake of watching Rise of the Machines (bile would have been more appropriate). Even though parts of Sarah Connor Chronicles entertained me, I still view it and anything after t2 as very well funded fan fic. Damn Mostow. My interest in Terminator chronology died a little after `talk to the hand`.

    I used to be a low level trekkie when I was a kid. I liked DS9 and everything prior (though the old series reminds me of the old Batman series when I catch it now). Then Voyager spewed forth and kinda killed it for me. I never really bothered much with Enterprise. It just seemed like a bunch of mediocre stories that contradicted later events and never had much of a moral to them. I just hoped they`d let it die with what dignity it had left after that.

    I liked this one, but I hope it doesnt give them license to run it into the ground again. There`s a sequel coming already though, so I guess we`ll just have to wait and see.
  • Oh, man... I went to see this movie with my siblings on this day, and when we came back from the theater we found out that our Grandfather had died. D: That kinda scarred the memories of this movie for me.
  • Mcpocolypse
    I never liked star trek....I'm sorry but all of the tv series, and the bulk of the movies were just shit. But I did like this movie. It was like for the first time the star trek franchise was okay with acutally having some action built into it. At least someone fired a laser once before it got kicked out of thier hands. And that alternate time line plot, was pretty good. Why would Abrams bother making the same star trek origin that we all know exists, Further more why would anyone want that? You've watched star trek, did you just want to watch it agian with now that good cinematography exists. I mean It's not like any hardcore star trek fans out there will admit to the orginal story having some flaws, so i guess you all just wanted to see a revamped version of what you already saw.

    Give me a break, at least this movie did some justice to star trek. Have you seen what they've done to X-men, Fantastic 4, Dardevil....etc. I like to think I handled that pretty well by just not buying the movies after the first viewing, and refusing to watch them ever agian. But star trek at the very least was a good movie, even if you hated what it did to your precious franchise....which isn't much by the way.....it was still a good movie. And who cares if they make a sequel. I'll watch it, especially since it's an alternate universe. I don't want to see wrath of Kahn 2012.
  • Jussi
    I think the black girl had a great ass.
  • LunarLycan
    I'll just start my little comment here by saying that I love your site. Fun stuff. Just started watching and reading through alot of things, and just now came across this. Now, I don't know if this has been addressed yet, I'm not one for reading all the comments. But, the reason we can't let this movie go is because...THEY WON'T FUCKING LET US!!!
    ...(deep breath)...

    Sorry for that. Anyway, this will now be the canon for which all future Star Trek. The studios are just going to give the big "fuck off" to anyone who doesn't like it.

    This future is a dark one my Lord Spoony. I can see no light beyond it. My nightmares are now filled with a dreaded image. The great Jean-luc Picard, if this future not averted, shall be portrayed by (chokes back vomit) Matt Damon! Fear this horrid future! Fear and hide from it!
  • Lieutenant Fish
    I actually counted around 600 shots that had lens flare, with about 80 before the title screen.
  • Kurtis
    Did you mean to say Star Trek V, the Final Frontier? Star Trek VI was pretty ok! Plus, Red Foreman playing the prez of the federation!! now that's aw3some!!!

    Oh, and when the hell did Romulans start being bald Mike-Tyson-face-tattoo-having miners? The villain in this new movie was a freakin' joke! I also thought all the spontaeous love interests were horribly contrived... Although I gotta admit, seeing GIGANTIC green cleavage on the silver screen was ALMOST worth the ticket price... (ellipses ellipses [ hehe])
  • Invertin
    What people need to remember is the "Back to the Future" style of time travel.

    The original series hasn't been erased from history forever, it's just become an alternate dimension.
  • Damien
    And I Totaly Agree With RobberBaron
  • Damien
    I can agree the original Doctor Who Series Was A Bit Shit But I Still Watch It. As For The The New Series Thats Not That Bad Not The Christopher Ecclston That Was Shit But The David Tennant Series 1-4 And The 4 Specials Are Great. I Think The Next Doctor Matt Smith Is Going To Suck The Big One And Put The Series To Shame
  • RobberBaron
    I have no problem with the whole "new timeline" thing. I agree with Spoony that the acting was pretty good for the most part and it was enjoyable as a big, stupid action movie.

    However, I just think this movie's plot and script weren't very good on their own merit. Mainly, I'm with Spoony in that Kirk's promotion from cadet to Captain was ridiculous and most of the other problems he mentions.

    I also agree with Spoony that Voyager was crap. I know there's Janeway fanatics out there, so I won't go into detail for risk of incurring their wrath. DS9 did get much better after Worf came aboard. You could probably just start watching from season four and it'd be all good. Enterprise, uh, well the pilot was decent, but season one and two felt like Voyager part 2 to me. The third season was a bit better, I think the arc gave it a little bit of focus. Season four was a HUGE step up. If only it was like that from the beginning, it might have gone the full seven seasons.

    TOS and Doctor Who (I assume Spoony is talking about TOS of Dr. Who and not the new series, which is pretty good, but divides some fans almost as much as the new Trek) were "bad" in the sense that their special effects and acting both could be extremely cheesy, but you've got to take into account the era in which they were made. Also, the writing was pretty good most of the time, which is what sold it. It wasn't a CGI fest with a plot tacked on as an excuse to make it.
  • GeekFury
    What you need to stop time paradoxis is Doctor Who, he'd sort that shit out, send back Nero and Spock, seal the rift and even bring back Rumulus for good measure!

    Yes I admit Doctor Who sucks and I'm Brittish, but hell it's enjoyable.
  • GSZX1337
    Oh please, what kind of spoilers can you drop on us? We all know that James Kurk becomes the Captain of the Enterprise.
    *Spoony tells spoilers*
    HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

    As for the "selective amnesia," I find that it works very well. I go as far as to use this tactic to remember only the scenes of the Star Wars prequel trilogy that I liked. ...Namely the action scenes and any scene that gave some insight on the Star Wars universe. ;)
  • D
    Fuery87 - "...they did bring up the question of Nero not warning Romulus in the film itself. And Nero give an answer, but I’ve forgotten it."

    Yup. Nero says he's gonna save Romulus, in addition to wiping out the Federation. The line is something like, "I intend not only to prevent the destruction of the home I love, but to free it from the Federation. Only then will Romulus truly be saved." They just dwelt on the whole "revenge against the Federation" aspect rather than the "saving Romulus" deal, 'cause Nero's meant to be bitter and twisted, so seeing him nobly protect his world from future disaster would've been jarring and boring.

    There're quite a few commonly-cited 'plot holes' for this movie, but most of them are actually covered in the script, or by some fairly straightforward conjecture.
  • Ibanesse
    And just in case anyone is still confused...

    http://www.startrekonline.com/startrek_xi

    Why, yes, I don't have anything better to do. ...Actually, I just can't sleep.
  • Fuery87
    Yeah, I was going to say that too. A star going nova can easily present a threat for other nearby star systems.

    And IIRC, they did bring up the question of Nero not warning Romulus in the film itself. And Nero give an answer, but I've forgotten it.
  • Nebula
    huh where are people getting that it was Romulus's star that was going Nova??? It wasn't.....

    As I pointed out in my previous comment on the last page it was a neighboring system's star that was going hyper nova...
  • Yakuhin
    I agree with most of what you said, though I'm having trouble not being a bit enraged over this movie. For one, they just couldn't find anything else better for Nero to do than use those "truth bugs". As I recall, they also did that in wrath of khan, so it's not exactly original. Anyway, as I see it Romulans aren't exactly "Evil", in the star trek episodes. They're a different culture, with different political views, and different ethics. None of that says: "You must build really awe-inspiring mining vessels and fit them with huge fucking torpedoes!". It's a mining vessel!

    Anyway, I didn't like the movie that much. Not because it was "ruining every other startrek episode I'd ever watched", it's just because I found it horrible. It was far too hyped up, and it was mainly focused around flashy effects.

    JJ Abrams probably wanted to prove himself after Lost, and I understand that. I would've changed my ID and moved to Thailand if I was him, though. Not make the rest of the world pay him money to see his "Really cool special effects". It's Star Trek. It's tradition to have it look a little shitty.


    And yeah, another thing. IF I remember correctly, the black hole which threw Nero and Spock through time, also threw them away from Romulus, because the USS Kelvin would obviously not be passing into Romulan space.. At least it kinda seemed that way when I saw it.

    Good rant, though. Keep it up.
  • bunf
    thanks for wasting my time with a sanctimonious rant against nerds instead of....you know, reviewing the fucking movie.

    No wonder you cant keep a job, you never get to the point.

    And penultimate means second to last, it is not a synonym for ultimate.
  • r0ck3tsci3ntist
    I loved it and I'm a TOS fan.

    Reboot was Reboot and it was good. *nods*
  • captainobvious
    My beef with the movie is that it didn't seem like there was any reason to call it Star Trek. It didn't really embrace any of the Star Trek values, didn't stay true to most of the original characters, and broke from a lot of the cinematic traditions.

    It really stood out to me in the end when Kirk and Spock seemed to take glee in blasting the "Romulan" ship as it went through the black hole. Star Trek heroes are supposed to fairly noble - I can't recall another moment where they uncontroversially took pleasure in killing helpless enemies.

    I put Romulan in quotes because, like with everything else, there was no reason for these guys to be Romulans. They didn't look like Romulans, or have any particularly Romulan characteristics or backgrounds. They could have just as easily been Randomoids avenging the destruction of Planet Random.

    If you're going to completely rewrite Star Trek, just write your own story in your own universe, or at least write an original story in the Star Trek universe without Kirk et al. I know this movie only got the budget it did because of the Star Trek brand, but I wish they had spent the money to instead create a new franchise. All the time spent on the "backstories" was boring, and especially irrelevant since it doesn't even apply to the "real" continuity.

    One of the annoying things about a prequel, even one set in an "alternate" timeline, is that you know how everything turns out. There is no real drama when Kirk and Sulu are hurtling to the ground, no surprise when Scotty goes from random-dude-on-the-Ice-Planet-Hoth to transporter engineer, no excitement when Kirk joins the Academy after a stern talking-to. In fact, it just makes all the backstories - about how this bunch of kids "happened" to meet up and become the Enterprise crew - seem even more contrived. That's one of the main reasons this movie would have been better if it wasn't a Star Trek TOS prequel. Even with the "alternate timeline" angle, they pretty much made sure not to do anything to disrupt the basic continuity. Kirk's dad and the planet Vulcan were not exactly central to the storyline.

    The cast had too many distractions. Simon Pegg and John Cho are too well known to replace major, established characters. Tyler Perry is too well known to have a significant role in anything but his own films without being a distraction. Winona Ryder was distracting and completely unnecessary. I don't watch Heroes, but at least the Spock actor had enough make-up and costume to make his presence less obvious. Nimoy's appearance was great, but it only drew more attention to the ineffectiveness of the rest of the cast. The only actor I unequivocally liked was the guy who played McCoy. He seemed almost perfect for the part. The actress who played Uhura was great, but the character of Uhura in the movie was just bizarre. In all, the cast comes up as a big minus.


    All that said, I enjoyed the movie. It seemed like it had the potential to be great, but was held back by the need to be ostensibly "Star Trek". It all goes back to the failure of "Enterprise". They took a niche product and tried to sex it up and make it "hip" to have broad appeal to a younger audience. It was too "Trek" for most people, and not "Trek" enough for fans. This movie is not really "Trek" at all, but it's enjoyable for young moviegoers. I think that a lot of the Trekkie rage comes from the feeling of being baited and switched, and fear that this "Testosterone Trek" will erase any hope of a continuation of "Traditional Trek".
  • Bill
    I must take issue with what you said about The Undiscovered Country. I don't hate you, but I must defend Star Trek 6. If the issue is about prejudice within Starfleet and the Federation, the director Nicholas Meyer said that he didn't think that the T.V. series effectively demonstrated that Starfleet and the Federation were free from it. It's either in the special features or on the audio commentary track on the Star Trek 6 DVD. I have to agree with his statement. Even The Next Generation has depictions of prejudice within Starfleet and the Federation. Well, if that's not the problem, maybe you could elaborate on what you mean. The 6th Trek movie is my personal favorite, so you can understand why I would want to debate about it and defend it.

    I do look forward to debating this, as well as your review of Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight, which in Japan wasn't even a Street Fighter game, nor did it star Ken, and it wasn't even a Final Fight game, either! I once owned that piece of crap of a game! lol! :)
  • Well lets see...

    1. The star that was going supernova wasn't Romulus's home systems star it was a neighboring star.
    2. After they meet the Kevin they were captured by Klingons and were put on the prison planet... (12 min scene cut from the movie)
    3. Kirk was actually a lutenit(sp)... He was close to his last year in the academy and Pike trusted him.
    4. The Narada.... was modified with borg tech. (kinda explains the large open spaces)
    5. Spock was Half human....

    (second time posting this cause not sure if it got through the first time....)

    IMO DS9 after season 1 turned into my all time fav Star Trek.
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