Charlie72 from the forums has found something even more astounding then killing a giant bat, hoisting it over your head, and using it to hang-glide into the mouth of a cave to attack an entire race of purple cavemen.
Don’t get me wrong, if you could weaponize those levels of awesomeness you could kill millions. That was pretty goddamn badass, but during a particularly heated debate on who is the manliest man in the Final Fantasy series– a debate that had really narrowed down to two people: Cyan from Final Fantasy VI and Auron from Final Fantasy X…
I’m derailing that previous train of thought to simply say that Auron is immediately disqualified because if there is a series of games that is somehow ass-stupider and more painful to play than Final Fantasy VIII, it’s Final Fucking Fantasy X. Sure, there is something to be said about a dude for whom dying only served to piss him off, and decides to fight one-handed with his absurdly huge fucking sword because using both just wouldn’t be sporting, but if he really wanted to win me over he would have gutted that grinning little blond punkstain Tidus within five minutes of meeting him and killed that fuckmelon Wakka by feeding him his own blitzball.
Sorry. I think you know by now that I have some…well, let’s call them rage issues with the Final Fantasy series. Where was I?
Oh, right. Trains. Well, Cyan is a badass, no doubt about it. He overcomes a ton of adversity, but even so, you’re forgetting Sabin Figaro, a man whose kung-fu is so strong that he can kill you with the wind from his punches alone. Dude can lift a fucking house for six minutes.
But even more badass than that?
MOTHERFUCKER SUPLEXED A TRAIN.
Chuck Norris can choke on DEEZ NUTS.
I need a towel.
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Why would anyone look for signs of manliness in the Final Fantasy series? That’s like panning for gold in a litterbox. Hell, CLOUD is probably in the top 5 biggest badasses of those games, and he dressed up like a girl at one point.
The sappy fangirl in me who reads shoujo manga loves Final Fantasy X because of the ending. The smart kick your ass fangirl in me who reads shounen and seinen manga tells Final Fantasy X to fuck right the hell off xD I need to go play 6 now. It’s the only one in the series besides……..5? I haven’t played? IX is my favorite though, just because it juggles tones of death for every single fucking character and still has romance. Kuja isn’t really scary but I really regard Necron as the final boss, and he scares the shit right out of me.
……..Where was I? Oh yes, Comparing epic shit like 6 to 10 (even from what I’ve only seen) is like….some sort of sin.
HDFIOEANIOAEN FUCKING AWESOME.
FUCKING SUPLEXIN TRAINS AND SHIT GODDAMN.
FFX wasn’t painful to play, it’s fuck easy. Unless you meant it’s painful because most of the characters are stupid as hell, in which case I’d agree. Auron is fucking overrated though.
I don’t know. I don’t see how you can compare to a movie character to a video game character. If the guy was in a movie and carried a train like that then he would be the man. However, I still think that Yor is the man. Come on! You can’t beat killing a giant flying creature and using its wings to beat up cavemen. You can’t beat it!
Hey, Spoony, ever gonna continue that FF VIII series you’ve started? It’s been over 3 months and there’s still no new episode… would love to see more!
It’s a GHOST train not an actual psychical train so it should light as a feather hence way YOR still wins.
Man, look at all these comments defending X.
Clearly, Spoony needs to be forced to play through that game ranting and raving about everything he hates about it. For my amusement. And the wailing and gnashing of teeth that will ensue. Do it for the cynical jerks who like watching other people get angry, please?
*blinks* Okay, that was unexpected. Strangely, I find paragliding into a cave using a bat corpse more impressive :) Yor is still the man.
Sabin Figaro, He’s the Man! Sabin! Trained in a mountain pass, doesn’t get opera. His brother’s a lothario, he fights with dragon fangs. Sabin’s going to make those magitek look lame tonight! Sabin Figaro!(Poor attempt at a Yor’s theme parody)
…actually SELPHIE&ZELL are the greatest characters EVAR! ;D
Hey Spoony, great to see you back up and running. Yah, that is pretty bad ass but Final Fantasy sucks ass, sucks ass from a straw. You know, your the first one who has the stones to say it sucks and appreciate that! It needs to be said.
Wesker’s more badass.
Sorry.
I call bullshit on this one. Nothing from Final Fantasy can ever be declared awesome because they do stuff like that all the time. Punching the devil, wielding swords the size of a grown man, stuff like that.
FFVI is still a great game, full of nostalgic goodness. FFVII was the pinnacle of the series (although I absolutely detest any of the so-called sequels and spin-offs spawned from it). FFVIII deserves the merciless beating Spoony’s giving it. FFIX was a passable game – at least the dialogue seemed more streamlined and Westernized. FFX was a painful experience, I beat it once and swore to never play it again (my god, I wanted to murder pretty much the entire cast of that game). FFX-2 sealed the deal for me – no more FF games ever again. And to this day, I’ve held to that.
So yeah, pretty much a downhill slide after FFVII, though IX gets a pass.
Cyan may be in the better game, but Auron treats giant monsters like baseballs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ_5gb-PPIQ
P.S. My favorite was using that on the Giant Sandworms and seeing them fly off into the distance.
Gotta go with Barret. Take Mr T and give him a foul mouth, a machine gun for an arm and the ability to summon sattelites out of thin air to rain laser-y death on enemies and you’ve got a pretty good mix.
I see there’s a lot of FF7 hate… I can see why the more I play FF6 (started it a month or two ago), as many parts of the story and gameplay mechanics are very similar between the games… Still, I think people focus too much on the damage it yielded on the Final Fantasy series as a whole (making Square think that stuff like FF8 and 10 were entirely acceptable for example) and forget that the game itself was pretty good… I mean, even if you hate the game, it’s hardly the worst game ever made on gameplay merits.
See, I LOVED FFX. I have the Zanarkand symbol tattooed on my damn arm. The gameplay was excellent, easy to pick up and just fun. The story, my God, am I a sucker for tragedy. Yuna’s pilgrimage, shit, the first time I played through and I realized what she was sacrificing in order to save Spira, KNOWING the consequences going in, watching her get progressively more iron-willed* – the scene where she stands up to Kelk Ronso is magnificent – I mean, who among us would ACTUALLY have the balls to do that for the sake of the entire world, at age 17 no less?
And THAT’S the only thing keeping it from being my favorite installment. It’s YUNA’S GODDAMN STORY. It’s not the wankiest pyrefly’s. Dear God, Tidus. WHY DO YOU EXIST. This whole game is Yuna’s pilgrimage, and you come flailing in with your “I don’t understand”s and your “I hate my Daddy”s and your “BLAH BLAH MY STORY” bullshit and WHAT THE FUCKING BALLS. Tidus is in no way heroic, he should have been no part of this. When you really, really get down to it, you COULD have done FFX without Tidus. You could have done it without Jecht! Instead of the Final Aeon fusing with the chosen Guardian, you could revise it to fusing with the Summoner. SAME EFFECT. And you still could have had all of Yuna’s friends figuring out the alternate way of doing things and whatnot – Auron could have been the “disregard Spira’s teachings” guy, if that’s all they needed from Tidus. Hell, it would have MEANT more coming from Auron, who had been a monk of Yevon and then saw the truth about them!
In conclusion: Tidus = totally superfluous and dear God Y U RUIN FFX 4 ME.
*We don’t talk about X-2, okay?
Yor may no longer be the man, but “Cyan’s world, he’s the man!” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Hence, YOR IS STILL THE MAN!
meh…. yor’s better
I just wish to point out, sabin also caught a HUGE beam of steel and other stuff when bailing for kefka’s tower THEN THREW IT. Cyan makes a close second however.
Two words on why you hate post-FFVII characters as much as I do: TETSUYA NOMURA.
He’s the guy to be hatin’ on, and single handedly responsible for Final Fantasy’s character effeminism.
Fuckin’ right! I make it a point to Suplex the Ghost Train EVERY time I play FF6. The game just doesn’t feel complete otherwise.
I don’t know, Killer 7’s MASK de Smith pulled off quite a feat during a cut scene someone shoots his face. Instead of just taking it and dying, the Luchador Smith head-butts the fucking thing.
I will not deny that is impressive and quite bad ass, especially for Final Fantasy, but I believe the most bad ass thing I have witnessed in a game has to be a masked Luchador head-butting a bullet that was fired at his face.
LOL it was funny this came out today on the site cause I JUST Beat this section of FFVI this afternoon
holy mother of god! nothing can top that NOTHING! and i dare EVERYONE to try to top that! nothing in the WORLD could top a suplexing a mother fucking train!!!!111!111!!!21@! just fuck man what a find!
0_o that was…something…yeaaahh…
sorry yor is still the man , this dude suplexed a train but Yor wiped out about 5 civilizations , you dont fuck with that
Whoa… I think I jumped in a little late here (unfortunately) but rather than join the “FFVI-X Fanboy Assault”, can I just say something in defense of Yor?
No character in history (except maybe Sephiroth *Cough Mama’s boy cough* excuse me) has their own incredibly kick-ass theme song.
For that matter no character in history has a kick-ass theme song that kicks in while your hang gliding a friggin giant bat into a cave of purple cavemen!
Not to mention how Yor underhanded a flaming sword right in the back of a mummified caveman, and no other character has committed genocide five friggin times while being considered the “hero of the movie”!
And finally, Yor has all the hemp you need… *smirk*
I just don’t know how you can out-do the awesome stupidity that is Yor (Although I will admit that suplexing a train is an interesting thought) and since this is Final Fantasy we’re talking about I suppose I can let your arguement slide but when it comes to Yor… as his theme music states, he is the man.
Wait, what the hell is that in the distance?
It looks like… Oh shi- Incoming FFVII Sephi defenders!
And my god! More defender fanboy’s of FFX!
Run for it Spoony!
Gotta agree with whoever raised the topic of Edgar. Dude was one suave motherfucker. Not only did he mess shit up with his chainsaws, anchor-guns, drills and awesome hair but he also had hoes on tap.
I have to speak out against people who single out Nomura as the one responsible for the Final Fantasy series’ increase in effeminate characters. Yoshitaka Amano, who designed the characters in games 1-6 was just as bad. It’s certainly not that obvious in the finished product, but you just have to take a look at any of his pictures and you’ll be unable to tell who is who and what gender each person is.
Maybe it’s just his tendency to make all characters look like they’re wearing black lipstick.
And no, I’m not dissing Amano’s stuff, I’m just saying that he churned out quite a few effeminate man-child characters himself. Cecil from FFIV, anyone?
I like how you used deez nuts in the end, I’ve been using that name forever. I still think Yor is the man, though, so I must disagree with you
Queen Anthai yeah i gotta agree with you as much as I don’t like X, I would have liked X without Tidus. Shame it’s so much focus on him and his unbarible ways. They could have easily replaced him with another person whose quick, or if put all him into Rikku. And it would have been intresting to see Yuna fight Braska.
It’s such a shame on e of my favorite games (IX) is sandwhich between two games with such fanboys while it is bashed. I have a feeling THAT is what gave us 12
X’s characters sucked, other than Auron that is. FF8’s characters suck, but they fall into a class of their own. If Sabin is a beast for suplexing a train, isn’t Gogo also a beast because he can mimic Sabin and also suplex a train. I love FF6, its the only game where a MOOGLE is stronger than most of the other characters. Oh, and theres a Yeti (yes, I’m aware the Umaro is horrible).
Sabin could take out a thousand Yors all armed with uzis and hand grenades while he had one hand tied behind his back.
Apparently, the very things that make FFX and X-2 likable for me made everyone else detest them (some even turning away from the franchise completely). I’m not trying to start an argument here, but I liked the Sphere Grid system from X (as you could potentially have ANY character have elements from/be just about any class you wanted if you were willing to put in the time and effort), and I thought the Garment Grid in X-2, while obviously meant for fanservice, as well, was a good way to add a mid-battle job/class-changing system. It helped to balance out the fact that you only had three playable characters. I agree that Tidus was kind of an effeminate emo-whiner, but it’s really easy to overlook most of the time. I found the characters of X to be well-thought-out and quite suited to the world they lived in (case in point: why they had to keep the fact that Yuna and Rikku were cousins a secret). X-2 basically answers “What happens next?”. Without Sin around anymore, thing were more relaxed. Yuna developed a more adventurous spirit (probably rubbed off from Tidus, though a case could be made that Rikku got her into it, as well) and got into treasure hunting with Rikku and the new character, Paine, which eventually got then wrapped up in a thousand-year-old revenge scheme. Yes, the plots of both games were somewhat flimsy, but, in my own opinion, that’s true for most games regardless of series or genre. That said, however, I still found it interesting to watch their stories unfold and see the characters and world develop as things went on. (Kind of like with “Wild Arms 3″, but I get bashed for liking that one, too.)
Barrett is more manlier than either of them! He has a God damned hand cannon that can build up enough energy to create a crater!
Anyone else think that “Crazy Train” should be playing during this fight?
HA, he finds this to be cool, but spoofs the illogic of FF8?
Because FF8’s logic is that emo spunky, preteen girls can save the world. Gunblades? A future where no one uses guns that can shoot at the speed of sound? A big guy who uses a boat anchor to fight…..? A roving gang of giant caterpillars? Spoonyone’s ff8 reviews should show you theres a shit load of illogic in ff8 compared to ff6. A monk/martial artist who trained for many years and can lift a train is illogical yes…. BUT IS FREAKING AWESOME. Gunblades are illogical yes…..but are not freaking awesome…at all….as spoony explained
I know they call it a suplex, but it’s more of a powerbomb, really.
I have been reading the rants of the O’ Spoony One for quite sometime but when I read that “Yor” was no longer than man and had been beat out but some computer animated chumps, I HAD to end my silence and speak on behalf of Yor.
Yor is the man. There are none greater than the mighty Yor. Suplex a train? Yor can could suplex a train and not only could he suplex it, it would have been used as an instrument of some small civilizations doom and not simply to escape being crushed by it like some cowardly anime character.
Yor is the man.
y’know, the only final fantasy games i’ve ever played were 1 and 2 and they seem to be better than the later ones like 7,8, and 10 from what i’ve seen.
maybe they should have done what the title of the first one said and made it FINAL
Don’t forget about Kefka. He’s like Heath Ledger with cosmic powers. The dude destroys the world halfway through FF6 and then destroys remaining villages and towns with his Light of Judgment out of sheer boredom.
SUPLEX!!!!!
I love FF6, and Sabin just kicked ass with his abilities! XD
This reminds me of the good days when Squaresoft made fun games.
SaGa Frontier has some crazy fun on it too!!
On FFX they started to cool down though…
P.S. FF5 was good the first half, but the second half IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Spoony! “Yor is no longer the man” blog or whatever made me laugh so hard! And you never fail to make me laugh I love your stuff. :) But getting to the games…
I must say FFX was FAR from the best game in the world but I HAVE to say that FFX-2 SUCKS WAAAAY MORE!!! I HATE FFX-2 with a PASSION!!! I mean, okay let me go back to FFX. You say you want to kill Wakka and Tidus right? No man. I want to kill Hedy Burress’ F***ing voice acting career! I HATED how she voiced Yuna in FFX and X-2, like I cannot describe the hate I feel in my heart but I kinda want to kill the careers of the retards who made up the characters too. But I guess it kinda depends how you look at it.
Okay, I am a straight female so FFX-2 fan service or may I say this kind of “censored porn” video game did not work for me LOL. Like for the guys, they play the game and see hot female characters with barely anything on and I guess they kinda get something out of it… like “rubbing one out.” But now I’m getting kinda raunchy. Personally, I think FFX-2 is a VERY bad rip-off of Charlie’s angels and Sailor moon combined and put into a video game.
Also, I do not understand how Yuna and Rikku went from http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii101/goddess_viet/yuna.jpg
http://i587.photobucket.com/albums/ss314/RukiTemaFan22/Final%20Fantasy/Rikku19.jpg
to barely having any clothes on!
http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q143/kakashiwolf/Rikku.jpg
http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb213/cloudvaan/ff9/final%20fantasyx2/ffx2-14.jpg
I mean Rikku in FFX already barely had clothes on, so why take more off?! What were the creators thinking! “Hmmmm… we need people to buy our billion ton rat shit so that means we need to take something off to make our billion ton to 999,999,999 ton of rat shit! I know! Let’s take off the girls’ clothing and add another female character named Paine for the hardcore bondage freak! That will get sales for SURE! :D”
But, thats enough of me bitching about FFX-2 because I have a SURPRISE for you! I remember in your FFVII video you mentioned about the one quest where you had to dress up Cloud as a woman and apparently he made a HOT woman LOL. I had a hard time imagining it too, until I saw THIS!
If you can’t see that picture, here is the link. http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e261/terranz22/cloudia.jpg
In the future I would love to see you make a video about you talking about how bad FFX-2 is when you get the equipment to make it easier for you to make videos with FFX-2. Keep up the fantastic work!
Candace Reilly (youtube.com/firewhite24)
What do you get for suplexing a ghost train? Apparently, just one tent. Never mind that a character physically pile-drived a phantom train into the ground… the defeated train then gave away a tent as his reward. You’ve gotta love FF sometimes.
>>Kind of like with “Wild Arms 3″, but I get bashed for liking that one, too.
WA3 is one of the best JRPGs I ever played. You heard me.
In b4 shitstorm.
I don’t want to spoil the fun people, but if we look at it, how much does a GHOST train really weight? does it have any mass at all?
questions questions…
Yes indeed! Sabin is the most badass character of the Final Fantasy series. They should just make a game where Sabin goes around and kicks the living shit out of everyone and everything including innocent townsfolk, women, and children. As for the other FF series after VII, I you don’t like the Zelda series spoony but I sure am glad as hell that I stuck with them instead of the aforementioned FF games.
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