Charlie72 from the forums has found something even more astounding then killing a giant bat, hoisting it over your head, and using it to hang-glide into the mouth of a cave to attack an entire race of purple cavemen.
Don’t get me wrong, if you could weaponize those levels of awesomeness you could kill millions. That was pretty goddamn badass, but during a particularly heated debate on who is the manliest man in the Final Fantasy series– a debate that had really narrowed down to two people: Cyan from Final Fantasy VI and Auron from Final Fantasy X…
I’m derailing that previous train of thought to simply say that Auron is immediately disqualified because if there is a series of games that is somehow ass-stupider and more painful to play than Final Fantasy VIII, it’s Final Fucking Fantasy X. Sure, there is something to be said about a dude for whom dying only served to piss him off, and decides to fight one-handed with his absurdly huge fucking sword because using both just wouldn’t be sporting, but if he really wanted to win me over he would have gutted that grinning little blond punkstain Tidus within five minutes of meeting him and killed that fuckmelon Wakka by feeding him his own blitzball.
Sorry. I think you know by now that I have some…well, let’s call them rage issues with the Final Fantasy series. Where was I?
Oh, right. Trains. Well, Cyan is a badass, no doubt about it. He overcomes a ton of adversity, but even so, you’re forgetting Sabin Figaro, a man whose kung-fu is so strong that he can kill you with the wind from his punches alone. Dude can lift a fucking house for six minutes.
But even more badass than that?
MOTHERFUCKER SUPLEXED A TRAIN.
Chuck Norris can choke on DEEZ NUTS.
I need a towel.
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That guy is un-f**ing beliebable!!!!
You think that’s manly?!
Then you’re going to kill over when you see this picture:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=41792916&l=e494761741&id=16803987
Whoa now…I like me some good FF discussions. FF7 had way too many plot holes, though it did have an interesting set of characters. Though, I found it hilarious that both Cait Sith and Yuffie were two of the most useless characters.FF8 is probably the most drawn out RPG I’ve ever laid my worn out hands on. No amount of agony can compare to beating FF8 after hundreds of hours poured into it, only for your playstation to no longer read the disc as Ultimecia fell to the ground. I actually loved FF9, well…aside from the large heads. It’s story was a little weak but it least it had some of the more memorable characters such as Vivi and Rusty. Actually, I take that back. Having Tidus as a main character for FFX is worse than having your FF8 disc crap out on you. Sorry guys, FFX had it’s good times but everytime Tidus opened his mouth, I died a little inside. Don’t even get me started on FFX-2! *Screams in frustration.* I mean, for fucks sake guys…you need nearly 100% of the game beaten to get the real ending…which was less than five minutes of pure bullshit. After which, I then decided to spend an entire day of Neon Genesis Evangelion, which actually made me feel better about my life.
ANYWHO, I suppose my rant is over. All in all, if you can suplex a train and KO it in one hit, you are the man! (Also, this wasn’t posted so I could make anyone mad, just stating my opinion. Though, one thing will never change….Final Fantasy 8 is an abortion. Shame on you all for beggin Spoony to continue like that! God forbid the poor guy ends up checking himself in an insane asylum. Spoony, your videos are great but don’t over do it buddy! FF8 isn’t the way to go! Now FFX-2…that would be great.)
i have to remind you that Yor wiped out 5 civilizations and smoked tons of hemp before they were through
its very hard to fight if youve beeen smoking so much weed
Love Cyan, but in fight’s he’s pretty much canon-fodder.
I’d add Guts from Berserk to the list of bad ass men. He is all that is man.
I think Spoony should take a page from Yahtzees playbook, man up, and just admit that JRPGs aren’t his thing and MOVE THE FUCK ON.
6, while having a strong story, had really broken gameplay. 7 had a good story(well, kinda, you have to concentrate on the fact that its intended focus is the relationship between Seph and Cloud, which gets really mucked up in execution) and some of the best gameplay before or since.
8 was… strange. Yeah, the presented story was stupid, but a bit of effort reveals an actual interesting time travel plot. The gameplay was a min/maxers wet dream, but was a real pain for normal players.
9 wasn’t bad, but nothing really special.
X was pretty, had a fun battle system, but yeah, suffered from some bad VA, but the underlying story was interesting.
Ugh, X-2 creates cognitive dissonance. I LOVE all things Job System related, but this one strained that love. Game play was pretty good, but VERY easy and VERY abusable.
12? I still haven’t finished it. I think I got mad when I found out I had flubbed my chance to get some weapon by opening a random treasure chest. That’s honestly my worst gripe on the RPG genre as a whole right now, western or Japanese. The reliance on published strat guides. Honestly, if Square hadn’t told us about it, would ANYONE have thought to go through the game opening no treasure chests and happened on the Zodiak?
As impressive as that is, Yor will always be the man!
And before someone calls me a fanboy defender, I’m no FF fanboy. I hang with my homies Wild A.R.M.S. and Star Ocean.
Oh god yes. FFX was the WORST… The absolute WORST (officially numbered) Final Fantasy game EVER.
Was there anything about FFX that I liked? More accurately, was there anything about FFX that I did not absolutely fucking hate to hell and back? Nope.
The characters were unbelievably stupid and I was in a constant state of wanting to see them all die, horrible, painful deaths. Every moment in FFX was unbelievably retarded. I’m talking retardation of unimaginable proportions. I even fucking hated Auron. He was just a walking cliche of every “badass” trait that somehow managed to combine to make him ridiculously lame on top of just being an unlikable, non-noteworthy, contemptible, and boring asshole that you don’t care about. And he was the best character in the whole game, which tells you a lot.
But more than that, the gameplay. Oh lord. Despite the characters, situation, plot, and overall story being 36 assorted flavors of suck, served in an asscone, and squished right into one’s face, this game had the ABSOUTELY WORST concept imaginable.
Take away all semblance of freedom, lock it into more worthless cutscenes per minute than all of the Metal Gear Solid games combined, and take literally everythin else in the game and LOCK IT OFF to the point where you can’t even explore or go anywhere but what is fucking dictated to you, 5 fucking steps in front of you, CONSTANTLY.
Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but not by much. The point is that Final Fantasy X basically says “To hell with giving you freedom to play the actual fucking game, welcome to Final Fantasy: Shitty Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Edition!”
It’s always “go over there and make a cutscene happen.” or “Get up there, and trigger a boss fight” and of course, “Head that direction and go to the next useless, boring, locked off, repetitious, part of this miserable game! Have fun being herded around constantly like a mentally atrophied sheep! Mwahaha! Final Fantasy X, bitches!
And for what? To get more miserably animated, poorly conceived cutscenes with godawful acting, which barely even culminate in anything, EVER, that makes you embarassed to play the piece of shit with anyone else in the room?
That’s so worth being herded around like a stupid sheep, in this miserable, locked off, game, with no freedom, no fun in the gameplay, and tedious monotony multipled by ten billion. Afwful acted cutscene upon cutscene with an inspid, borderline nonsensical story, a ridiculous plot, populated by vapid, mindless, idiot, annoying-as-shit characters who I absoutelyu wanted to just drive them off a fucking cliff into jagged rocks just to end the game.
And honestly, I never got through the game. I stopped playing at about the 70% mark, because the game was too fucking painful, and such a miserable, time wasting, embarrassingly asinine experience to even bother continuing on with anymore, without going completly fucking crazy by how terribly they assraped the Final Fantasy license with, after having actually delivered a good game with part 9. (A.K.A: The last decent Final Fantasy game ever made)
Instead of playing anymore after 70% and just giving the game to a friend (the poor bastard), I looked up the end of the story on Wikipedia or some shit… why, I have no idea, since I didn’t care about the story and thought it was vomit-inducingly wretched. Maybe I was bored out of my mind and decided to have a good laugh as to see how the worst, most poorly conceived plot in FF history decided to end itself.
And of course, the ending sounded like total shit, and a complete insult to my intelligence, without even havin the decency of giving us a final boss that was memorable or made any fucking sense. (It was just Sin, with the laziest and most half-assed plot “twist” ever added to it), and then the tacked on finalle that was so intelligence insulting, it hurt my brain just thinkin abotu how idiotic it might look like. It basically reminded me what a good thing it was that I gave the game away before it completely threw me over the edge into the realm of insanity.
The game was a fucking chore, without the slightest semblance of fun, an idiotic collection of cutscenes starring stupid assholes you want to punch in the face with a 9mm, then fire off at point blank, repetitious dumbshittery, incoherent bullshit, horrendously insediously awful voice AND visual character acting which perfectly kmatched each other’s combined shittiness, absolutely no freedom to do anything in the game that MIGHT be considered exploring, or the least bit fun, just to have one’s own intelligence insulted by the worst, most poorly concieved, asinine, bullshit, pulled-out-of-the-ass story it had ever been my displeasure to see.
The game was the single biggest waste of programming, and shiningly perfect example of abysmal and complete failure that Final Fantasy has EVER suffered.
At least, not until they made a sequel to it. Which was infinitely fucking worse in every same regard as well, but with this embarrassing, teenybobber, pop idol shit thrown in, just to further humiliate everyone into killing themselves before ever trusting the FF license again.
It killed Final Fantasy. FF8 sounded the death knoll, FF9 was a great game that gave us false hope for the future, FFX killed Final Fantasy once and for all, and FFX-2 raped it’s corpse.
And since then, no Final Fantasy game… not that poor-ass everquest rip-off, or the needlessly complicated, boring, un-final fantasy game that followed, has ever been worth a shit. And I’m going to call it now, FF13, for all it’s hype is going to suck balls too. I’m confident that I have a 90% chance of being right, unless Square-Enix pulls a fucking miracle of not sucking, out of their hat. Which… hehehe… isn’t very likely, as history has shown, ever since Final Fantasy went to DVD-rom and beyond.
Holy fucking shit! He suplexed a bastarding train!
OKAY!!! Who would win in an ultimate battle of doom?
Chuck Norris
Sabin
Yor
Dr. Insano
or
Ultimate Warrior.
WHO WOULD WIN THIS MADNESS!!!?
hey I like Tidus and Wakka from Final Fantasy 10
Auron is badass
Sabin just suplexed a train that badass. I think each ff game has their pros and cons. Can we stop debating which one is the best
I just…don’t understand this infatuation with ANY of the Final Fantasy games. They are ALL like VIII, badly written, stupid, poorly designed busy work. None of the story or characters are any good, the gameplay is crap and always has been, and the sound and music are annoying as hell. There is no roleplaying, the stories are convoluted nonsense, and yet they continue to gain such great critical response. It isn’t that Final Fantasy VIII sucks and you suck for liking it, it is that Final Fantasy sucks and you suck for liking it.
You know what’s almsot as funny as fanboys? ANTI-fanboys.
“Balararfgg! I didn’t like tihs and it sucks and if u like it, usuck! I clearly have the maturity of a 4 year old!”
Grow up. If you don’t like a game, sell it back o just don’t play it. Don’t vomit your opinion over the internets and claim it as gospel.
As tough as he may be, you cant have an animated nutter like that against a “real” guy. If you want to see a war between two b-movie lunatics, I recommend you check out Mike Danton from an 80’s movie called Deadly prey. Yor Vs Danton…I can see it now. The destroyer of civilisations Vs Ultimate Warrior’s psychotic twin brother. Sounds like a goddamn monster movie.
I don’t honestly have anything against people who play games I do not enjoy. I was just making a reference to a line by Spoony. Isn’t that kind of the point here? Overdone outrage?
I had to use a gameshark to finish VIII because i somehow managed to put myself in some impossible situation with my last save near the end (don’t remember all the details) plus I just wanted the damn game to end already. As for X i lost interest in the game not even half way in. I traded it in and never had the urge to play it since. I loved VII and IX (so many people hate em and i can’t figure out why) And VI was flat out awsome, I wish they would do a remake of it like they did with IV for the DS.
OK, a sidenote, HC Bailly just got to this scene on his Let’s Play series on YouTube. He’s about the silliest (in a good way), most mild-mannered LPer out there…and when Sabin suplexed that train, it induced him to call Sabin the FUCKING MAN. When you’ve forced a curse word out of HC, you know you’ve done something awesome. :-)
Well.. FFX isn’t good.. But Auron is stil the most badass character..
It’s a little tougher to convey that kind of sarcasm with plain text, Zaph.
OK, so I’ve been playing FFX for the second time (I remembered it being a good game), but I can’t seem to go back to it after 10 hours of play without resorting to heavy drinking (game of choice: drink everytime someone says ‘machina’).
Seriously, you only do 2 things in that game: fight endless, constant random encounters and watch overly-dramatic and sometimes insultingly stupid cutscenes. I would say that nearly 60-70% of the game is cutscenes. This is compounded on by having to manually level up your character and being forced to play Blitzball.
Aw, no love for bat hang gliders? D:
All I’m gonna say is an FFX review from Noah would be earthshatterring
Hmmm…
I gotta say, i have to wonder if spoony has ever seen the EPIC FALCON PAUNCH.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw
Bats? Trains? Fuck that, he punches a whule solar system out of existance.
DAMN some people on here hate FFX…..I can see where they’re all coming from in some cases; I believe I mentioned the bad dubs in a previous comment. But I’m scratching my head trying to sort out why they hate the characters or plot so much. I liked the “Star Wars”-ish feel I got from some elements of X; X-2, while not reminiscent of any plot I can recall seeing before, I still found to be a good story. Maybe I’m just an easy gamer to please as long as the story and characters are agreeable to me; I dunno. That may be why I’m having such trouble getting through FFVII – I have yet to find a single character that I feel I can like (and I do NOT understand the Sephiroth worship AT ALL). But that’s why they make different games – to appeal to a wide variety of gamers. And if there’s one thing I can say about the FF series, it embodies this perfectly. With each game (save for X-2) being set in a completely different world than the others with a different story/characters/etc, there’s BOUND to be at least ONE out there for any RPG gamer. For me, it’s X and X-2. For others, it’s 7. Still others hold 8 as the greatest of them all. And then there are those who liked only the first and nothing after it. The list goes on and on, but no-one I have talked to has liked EVERY Final Fantasy game. I’ve yet to find someone who liked more than three of them. When the series changes with every single entry, it’s just par for the course. (This is personified in a pair of Japanese television franchises known as “Super Sentai” and “Kamen Rider”; the characters, villains, overall story and such change every year, and I do not know of anyone who’s consistently liked every one of either of those, either.) Basically, I guess I’m trying to say it’s nothing to fight about. (I don’t understand why gamers feel they have to bash/defend games/consoles/companies anyway.)
frankly, anyone who says ffx sucked and takes the time to write a novel probably just sucked at the game anyways. spoony and everyone else, why the fuck to you even care about who is better than who? they are fictional characters for fuck’s sake.
I didn’t think the dubs in FFX were that bad. I’ve seen worse, a LOT worse. Believe it! :(
I’ve yet to find someone who liked more than three of them.
Hey, Kamen Rider?
VIII (OH GOD I AM GOING TO GET MASSACRED), X, XII, IX, VI, IV, III and I. In that order. :)
I’ve played all of them save for XI because I have an extreme MMO hatred, but II was…oh Lord, that leveling system…V wasn’t bad per se, just a bit dull, and I have never really, really enjoyed VII and have no idea why everyone furiously masturbates over that game.
Again, we don’t talk about X-2.
“I have to speak out against people who single out Nomura as the one responsible for the Final Fantasy series’ increase in effeminate characters. Yoshitaka Amano, who designed the characters in games 1-6 was just as bad. It’s certainly not that obvious in the finished product, but you just have to take a look at any of his pictures and you’ll be unable to tell who is who and what gender each person is.”
While I’d agree his works might not consist of anything but skinny albino people, I prefer his “abstract” style more to Nomura’s stereotypical anime-ish approach to his characters, not to mention the ridiculous ways he dresses each of his characters. It reflects much of the (bad) influences he picked up from Japanese pop-culture. Let’s not forget that at least Amano made characters that had distinguishable genders (with the exception of Gogo for obvious reasons) while Nomura constantly strayed to make sure they remain as androgynous as possible.
In reality, there is no such category as “JRPG” or “WRPG”. Back then, we used to categorize things as “console” or “computer RPG” based on the way they played and their streamlined interfaces. And even PC RPGs have forced to streamline their interfaces to keep upwith the console crowd.
Now people are so stuck-up over contemporary Nomura-influenced RPGs because of all that ridiculousness introduced in FFVII. Tetsuya Nomura put the “J” in you so-called “JRPG”.
(And don’t you dare tell me FFVII’s gameplay is better than VI.)
Hey – it don’t bother me none. All I said was I had *yet* to meet someone who liked more than three. Didn’t say it wouldn’t ever happen.
Am I the only one that know Sabin’s full name? (Sabin Rene Figaro, also Edgard is Edgard Roni Figaro.)
He’s also know has Mr.Thou :3
But I think Umaro is manlier. F’king yeti! And Gau too; he frigging fuse with ennemi until they’re dead and learn they’re move, how cool is that?
This guy, is un-FUCKING-believable!
Someone had to do it.
Yor’s World he’s the man!! Yor’s World he’s the Man!!! Yor’s world…. Yor’s World… GO Funkadelak Bass solo!!!!
…Sabin is the greatest FF character. though, I have to say that Haseo from .hack//gu (and it’s anime, Roots) is just more badass.
Stay with me a second.
See, even though Haseo’s a bit of an emo, whiny bitch, he. Kicks. Ass. throughout roots, he’s just under the leadership of Ovan, which is fine…then Ovan disappears. Guild pretty much splits up. He continues to search for the item of interest and his missing leader.
Durring this time, he does a quest that NOBODY AT HIS LEVEL COULD DO. The Forest of Pain is 100levels of nonstop kickassery, and he does it as a first level Black Rogue and probably only about lvl30. it took 1 of the 3 emperors to get through that shit, and he’s probably maxed at the time. What does he get? A FUCKING SWORD-GUN (FF8 fail anyone?). What does Haseo get? AUTO PASS TO THIRD LEVEL ROGUE AND THE TITLE OF TERROR OF DEATH WHEN HE GOES AROUND KILLING EVERY PLAYER KILLER HE SEES TO FIND THE KILLER OF HIS GIRLFRIEND (Or…would-be girlfriend…). Yeah, he went pretty fucking psycho.
When he DOES find her ‘killer.’ he gets his ass handed to him by an attack that has been sending people into COMAS. What happens to Haseo? He gets sent back to a first level rogue, loses all his other levels and equipment, and then proceeds to get his ass back up and KEEP FIGHTING. The ‘killer’ runs away and Haseo gets pissed and leaves. Does this stop him? NO. He picks himself off the ground, levels up AGAIN, and finds the killer AGAIN, and kicks his ever lovin’ ass to hell.
Then, it turns out (spoiler) so he has to find him and kill HIM. After that, he survives an attack that RESETS THE ENTIRE INTERNET…wait, now that I’m thinking about it…
FUCKING OVAN IS THE MAN. He reset the internet for fuck’s sake! How awesome is that shit?
Also, before I forget again, FF10 is a shitstain that just won’t go away with bleach, soap, and water. the only redeeming factor was indeed Auron. he’s simply badass…just…had a bad game and supporting cast.
FF7 disappointed me. FF8 sucks. FF9 I beat but honestly I cannot remember anything about it. I played a little of FFX but boredom has prevented me from getting very far.
The real question is not which of FF6 – FF10 is the best FF game. The question is, is the best FF game FF6 or FF4? Btw, I loved the 3d remake of FF4.
The series definitely went downhill starting with FF7.
^Haseo?
Anything remotely cool he might’ve done is completely nullified by the apeshit ridiculous outfit he wears. Well, that and his whiny emofaggotry. You want to talk BELTANZIPPER? This guy beats even The Queen of Belts, Lulu (jesus christ):
http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/74/beltshaseo.jpg
Yeah I remember that fondly. Big lols as a kid when I did that as a joke and it worked.
It’s still impressive to this day.
There is no bestiary in the Final Fantasy VI strategy guide… only a list of creatures that Sabin has allowed to live.
Sabin didn’t give up the crown of Figaro, the crown was afraid to be in the same room as him.
Emperor Geshtal does not rule the world… Sabin does.
Sabin is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When the Final Fantasy VI was released in France, they surrendered to Sabin.
One million Imperials die every year due to Sabin-related accidents.
Oh… Sephiroth was supposed to be in Final Fantasy 6, but he saw Sabin and decided to wait for the next one.
Skurwielu, chce nowy filmik!
pretty badass..but i think taht a charater from one pece call jesus burges ..atacks throwing houses….thas even more badass…
Okay. I just wanted to wish Spoony a quick recovery from his injury, and I hope you are at least somewhat comfortable. I always love the videos, but please hold off on “pulling another E.T.”. We can wait for a video, no need for you to work in agony.
Everyone saying that FFX and X-2 are the worst FF games have obviously not played the original.
The worst FF game IMO is FF12.
I hate that battle system is no much more than FF8’s.
I’ve been saying that about Sabin for years. Easily the most bad ass Final Fantasy character ever and without a doubt my favorite. Glad to see someone actually remembers that he lifts a freaking house. Most of the time people just ignore that. How? I have no idea but no one seems to ever remember it.
I remember Sabin saved my ass on many occasions with his blitzes. I always have him and Edgar in my party. If only Phantom Rush was a multi-target blitz.
Geez! He picked up a train! Regardless Yor is alooooooooooooooooooooooooot stronger than that man. Id like to see a face off Yor vs. That-Cyan-Guy.
As for FFX that games a stupid piece of shit. The story is idiotic, and that fucking asshole, cunt, pussy homo, faggot, crybaby Tidus really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really NEEDS TO DIE! As for Auron hes a retard, he tries acting so badass it turns around, and goes behind him and kicks him in the ass.
Also seeing a few comments in here that made me want to punch myself, FF10 did not kill final fantasy. FF10 was a relatively decent game, plus or minus a few things. I want to point out that most of what people find wrong with the game is stuff that you could find wrong in other FF games given about 15 minutes for me to think about it.
Now, for anyone who didn’t know, the real problem with FF actually did come with FF9. 3 major issues really. Who the hell was Necron, what the HELL was that ending, and why in gods name did you learn skills from your armor and weapons? Don’t get me wrong, I like the game, but those 3 things sucker punched FF into the abyss.
Something just occurred to me.
Yor’s the Man Now Dog!
Lol I bet there are some cos players on this website
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