Comments on: Final Fantasy VIII Review: The Finale

By: J.P. Tull

J.P. Tull — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:38:00 +0000

Give an example where Spoony picks on weight/looks/religion/ethnicity/etc throughout his review. The only people he “attacks” are fans of the game, and even that’s just his persona. I’m assuming by now you’ve read his post defending fanboys: “Final Fantasy VIII may suck, and you may suck for liking it, but I’m the captain of this suck-filled leaking failboat, and I’m not going to have some jerkoff movie critic who’s never cracked a Player’s Handbook in his life call my homies STUPID.”

Listen to the commentary as well; he calls himself a bigger pussy than everyone since he had to edit the fan montage while listening to Eyes On Me almost endlessly. I can see that it’s difficult to tell he even has a persona, but he really doesn’t hate fans of Final Fantasy.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:09:00 +0000

In the end, If I were to pick it to pieces, there are only 2 things that really get me about this game: 1) the time travel plot (it doesn’t make any sense. Okay, let’s say the future and past are unchangeable because both exist tangible at different coordinate points along a worldline in 4-D space (yes, if you prescribe to M theory there are 11, but let’s just say for the moment there are 4, and just handwave the fact that a particle has 1 dimension and not 0). Alright, that’s conceivable. However, what this game is suggesting is that you are going to COMPRESS time, in essence reducing all plot points upon the Time axis into 1, hereby reverting all events in space-time to occur in a single moment (point in time). Hence you are going to nullify all consisting events within the space time continuum (or compress them into the same coordinates, which would probably cause… I have no fucking idea what). Even disregarding the gravitational anomalies (including the Great Attractor) that distort space-time and hence would create derivatives in that event (multi-lining a single event that would make algebraic manifolds look like a piece of paper colored red (yes, that makes no sense AND THAT IS HOW MUCH SENSE THIS WOULD MAKE)), you would have no event to be causative of the compression in the first place and hence, would be unable to exist (unless the compression of the entire space-time continuum within one point in time would exponentially derive its own time axis… but that’s assuming that it isn’t simply taking multiple (i.e. infinite) versions of the same particle (or wave… depending on what you believe), and compressing them into the same time point with modifying so a tangential dimension doesn’t spawn from the inversion of different worldlines). IT WOULD FUCKING NULLIFY IT’S OWN EXISTENCE! It makes no sense *sobs*! I mean, this is only counting on the special theory of relativity. Damn it just doesn’t make sense!! AARGH *hits head multiple times against the wall*), and 2) the gun-blade (… why the fuck does a sword have a gun handle?).

That is my summary of FF8. Damn awesome reviews.

… Why am I bleeding?

By: Nathan Jackson

Nathan Jackson — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:23:00 +0000

Either this is Spoony incognito coming clean after all these years, or it’s a big TSE and FF8 fan with some major cognitive dissonance trying to justify why 2 things he loves just can’t get along. I’m seriously betting on number two.

The guy has spent, from almost day one, his entire web career ranting about the metric tons of suck he believes this game holds. Now, I like FF8, and might even crack it again one day, but I enjoyed these videos a lot without feeling dirty. I really just wanted to let you know – it’s okay. You can cosplay with your gunblade and wait for Spoony to finally release that Deadliest Characters video with bated breath without feeling like you’re cheating on someone.

And if it helps, here is a quote straight from the SpoonyOne’s keyboard (a weapon much more potent than any gunblade apparently) in defense of fanboys everywhere:

“Final Fantasy VIII may suck, and you may suck for liking it, but I’m the captain of this suck-filled leaking failboat, and I’m not going to have some jerkoff movie critic who’s never cracked a Player’s Handbook in his life call my homies STUPID.” -Noah Antwiler on the Ebert incident

By: dylen shirley

dylen shirley — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 11:42:00 +0000

i still don’t know how this fucking game ends.

By: dylen shirley

dylen shirley — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 09:42:49 +0000

i still don't know how this fucking game ends.

By: Homo

Homo — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:19:09 +0000

Of course Spoony doesn't hate this game, I can't believe some people think that. It isn't even an actual review, more like him going loosely through the game and finding out stuff he can crack admittedly hilarious jokes about. If you want to see him actually not like a game, check the Deadliest Warrior video.

Naturally he can't admit this because these videos are the biggest reason for his popularity, but really it's absurd to think he actually hates the game.

By: Alex_P_Nocturnal

Alex_P_Nocturnal — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:07:06 +0000

I was expexting something like “Now you're a pussy” after the ending credits since we had to listen to all that song! XD

Anyway, Great review! And I have to admit, even if FFVIII is (and probably will always be my favourite game of all time you listed some good complaints… ;)

By: Aaron Kerr

Aaron Kerr — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:00:50 +0000

What? You didn't play Crazy Train during the summoning sequence? Fail, Spoony, fail.

By: r3verend

r3verend — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:52:03 +0000

Didn't he just say that limit breaks are the only thing where the charakters are distinguishable? ^_^
Whatever :-)

Awesome work spoony. I owned the PC-Version back than and my playthrough time was at least 100-150 hours -.- I sold it afterwards. Did you knew that the PC-Version was at some time so rare that you could get more money for it over ebay than you had to pay in the first place?

Even now there are extremely expensive auctions online. Just check it on ebay o.O

By: AntnyJ

AntnyJ — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 02:12:24 +0000

You sound like my kinda FF VIII player. I found a nice spot and killed Forbidden after Forbidden to get the Curse Spikes, tho. I've even found a way to get Squall the Lionheart weapon on Disc 1. PAIN IN THE ASS…but very do-able. ;)