Alone in the Dark Review

by Spoony on September 8, 2009 · View Comments

Noah’s audio commentary is here.

The Nostalgia Signal is lit! The world is held in the grip of mediocrity, and only the reviewing megapowers united together can battle Boll’s reign of incompetence.

Furore23

Of course, the difference between Boll and Ed Wood is that as inept as he was, Ed Wood seemed to believe in what he was doing. So, a doofus, but an HONEST one. Uwe Boll is nothing but a cynical, mercenary, douchebag with no talent OR interest in developing talent.

Kirzan

I'm acting......... I like to wear women's clothing I like to wear....

LOL... Oh yeah, this movie has nothing to do with the games.

murderouscow

I try to watch Uwe's movies, I honestly do, but whenever I get anymore past the half way point in any of them I need to either go break something or hurt someone.

Jesse Franciskovic

bloody hilarious!

petebucci

whoa the old guy sounds like the gatekeeper

GunarmDyne

I can't believe I watched this twice before I noticed the Castleton T-shirt!

Rylock

@ pokeylope

They have tried, he runs away. Seanbaby used to write for EGM, and he frequently called Uwe Boll out for the turds he calls movies. Uwe wanted to fight someone on G4 to promote the event, G4 called Seanbaby, and Uwe called in sick. This is because Seanbaby is a big fucker who knows Muay Thai, and Uwe prefers to fight people who haven't set foot in a ring before.

It's a shame, Seanbaby probably would have DQ'd himself by "forgetting" about it being a boxing match and breaking Uwe's face with his knee, and it would have been both awesome and worth it.

pokeylope

Someone (read: spoony ) should write a review of an Uwe movie (or use an old text one) and find an exceptionally strong movie critic to review it, so when Uwe pulls another critic boxing match the critics will have an ace in the hole :D

Words and logic seem to have no effect on this man. We must apply sweet satisfying violence, and preferably film it.

Dostoevsky

Easily one of my favorite Nostalgia Critic segments. Bravo!

StPwnerer

"I brought science!" ::DDD
These guys rock! <3

james

Spacetheater 4000 :D

Camdogg.cam

i now have a reason to live. must watch every uwe boll movie and make fun of it.

Thomas

@Golden Christian: No he doesn't not at all.

Golden Christian

Dude spoony, in the title screen ("The three shmuckheads") you perfectly look like of Michael Mittermeir, a german comedian. awesome

Number 8

17:50 - Listen to Linkara real carefully, you'll hear him say: "I NEED SCISSORS!! Sixty-One!!!" Metal Gear Solid Reference, FTW!!! XD

powerbar

Hey Linkara, why the hell were you talking about Black Lantern when the topic was getting there live and you are dead, or something stupid like that xD

You guys are the new,improved and powerless Fantastic 4, and yes I'm counting Ma-Ti, HEART!

Josh

Great Joint review by Spoony, NC and Linkara.

"Uwe Boll is actually trying to scare us with flickering lights.All that's missing is a guy on a microphone trying to make scary sound effects"

xD

LiK

this was great, we need more Three Schmucks reviews! please do more!

Demonolator

THIS WAS GREAT VIDEO!!!!

Allison

Boll is so bad, the owners of World of Warcraft turned him away when he applied to direct the movie adaptation, which is absolutely hilarious. I guess they told him they thought the a bad movie would ruin the success of the franchise.

Sigma

I can totally understand it though, women's clothing is really comfortable.

chris

wow that was soooo hilarious!! you guys really should make "the three schmucks" to a series of it's own (and review all uwe boll movies!)
you know like one review a month or something.. it would be awesome!!

tom

yeah i love the idea of you guys doing a tv show, mention it in your next video and we could sign a petition or something to prove the demand is out there. You guys could realy make a carrier out of this! www.myspace.com/jukebanduk

aa

This is the best thing.

Winterheart

Aaaagh, they shot Insano and Guild guy, noooooooooo.
On the other side, awesome job. Scared the living out of me when Spoony and Linkarna bounced in the scene.

ReviewLover

Fun(ny) Fact: Ed Wood wanted (and did) to dress in women's clothing.

Flup

THIS WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! AWESOME DAMNIT!!!

TheBest!

How very MST3K! Love It!

TheBest!

I am exploding from that reviews AWESOMENESS!!!!!! TYTYTY! That was great!

Icepikoftime

That was fucking incredible. We should seriously write letters to The Reels channel or whatever network to get you guys a fucking show. You know we'll do it. Just tell everyone my proposal in your videos, or hell, just send them the video. It's that good guys.