Avast ye Scurvy Dogs! Get this landlubber some o’ tha’ Errol Flynn. I hear his mast be ginormous, almost like a Kraken arm it be!

Avast ye Scurvy Dogs! Get this landlubber some o’ tha’ Errol Flynn. I hear his mast be ginormous, almost like a Kraken arm it be!

lol, god damn it again.

*sniff* Yellowbeard was Marty Feldman’s last film.

*sniff* Yellowbeard was Marty Feldman’s last film.

Wtf? no Peter Pan? or Hook?

Hook?! HOOK?! Are you serious? Bosun! Take this blackguard below and clap him in irons! I want him flogged ‘fore the sunset!

Hook?! HOOK?! Are you serious? Bosun! Take this blackguard below and clap him in irons! I want him flogged ‘fore the sunset!

Aye Sir! My floggin’ arm be restless. ARRR… and so forth.

Aye Sir! My floggin’ arm be restless. ARRR… and so forth.

Captain Blood, The Sea Hawk…

Anyone ever see Roman Polanski’s Pirates? The one with Walter Matthau? I’ve had it on VHS for years but I’ve never actually watched it. Don’t even know how I got it. Any good?

Anyone ever see Roman Polanski’s Pirates? The one with Walter Matthau? I’ve had it on VHS for years but I’ve never actually watched it. Don’t even know how I got it. Any good?

I liked Hook….lol

I liked Hook….lol

11 again…

11 again…

“Captain Blood, The Sea Hawk…”

Congratulations, you looked up “Errol Flynn” on the IMDB and listed two movies you’ve never seen.

They weren’t that good.

Oh, sorry. Yaaaargh and stuff. Me mateys.

Yellow beard? Isn’t that movie in which one of the actors died in heart attack and then the guys were like “bah we’ll just ‘ave him killed in the movie too!!!” 0_o

What about “Treasure Planet”? It has pirates………in space.

Yellow beard? Isn’t that movie in which one of the actors died in heart attack and then the guys were like “bah we’ll just ‘ave him killed in the movie too!!!” 0_o

I laughed so hard I cried with all three of these. Your facial expressions are so great. They’re short, but that just makes the punch harder. A punch of hilarity. Nice work.

I have a pirate film in mind, I just can’t remember it… Gaah…. Uh….. THE MUPPET’S TREASURE ISLAND!!

I have a pirate film in mind, I just can’t remember it… Gaah…. Uh….. THE MUPPET’S TREASURE ISLAND!!

Didn’t the Swiss Family Robinson have pirates?

Didn’t the Swiss Family Robinson have pirates?

The Pirates of the caribbean Movies (even the first) put me to sleep. Mostly because I saw the first in a really long bus trip.

The Pirates of the caribbean Movies (even the first) put me to sleep. Mostly because I saw the first in a really long bus trip.

the Goonies…. HEEEELLLLOOOO!?!??!?!

the Goonies…. HEEEELLLLOOOO!?!??!?!

Whoa, ok Captain Blood is awesome.

Whoa, ok Captain Blood is awesome.

I think you’ve all overlooked Pirates, the lesbian porno with a million dollar budget. Its kind of like that Phil Foglio experiment XXXenophile, except its a movie.

I think you’ve all overlooked Pirates, the lesbian porno with a million dollar budget. Its kind of like that Phil Foglio experiment XXXenophile, except its a movie.

I’m not really a fan of pirate movies xD

So The Pirates of the Caribean are the only referenses I have…

But there was an animated series I liked to see when I was a kid the name was The Legends of Treasure Island ^^

maybe when they release the naimated Black freigner or however it is written animated shorts there would be another referent for good pirate movies

maybe when they release the naimated Black freigner or however it is written animated shorts there would be another referent for good pirate movies

Cutthroat Island, bitches!

Cutthroat Island, bitches!

What no Treasure Island movies? None of them?

What no Treasure Island movies? None of them?

I will never understand how Yellowbeard got away with a PG rating, it had quite abit of nudity and cursing it.
No one else ever talks about that…

I will never understand how Yellowbeard got away with a PG rating, it had quite abit of nudity and cursing it.
No one else ever talks about that…

Bonny’s pubes! No lovin’ for ye Captain Blood!?!?!? For shame Jack. For shame…. That be a blasphemy so great you’ve gone and woke me from the locker! I was living in peaceful silence with me cult of possums perfecting da fine art of ye lemur lube. Twas a good life. The kind where one can rest their sword on the mantel in contentment. BUT NOOOOOOO! You had to go piss on me briches with forth-mentioned blasphemy! Don’t you understand matey? Captain Blood is a very foundation of Pirates of the Caribbean. All dat theys did was rub sum-o ye-old fashion Monkey Island on it! Captain Blood with a scurvy fool and zombies is all they did! Tis a classic! Wrote da very bible of modern cinematic pirac0y it did! (Modern cinematic piracy being… Pirates of the Caribbean) The swashbuckling, da facy wording, Tortuga! Bah! Tis like saying Duke Nukem 3D be the shit but Predator and Evil Dead 2 suck of ye bilge water. Why the plank is no good for ya! A floggin will not do. You should be tied to the mast and forced to watch Cabin Boy… TWICE! Only then will the punishment be payed in full for the great stain upon the honor of Captain Blood dat you hast cast. Yar.

Bonny’s pubes! No lovin’ for ye Captain Blood!?!?!? For shame Jack. For shame…. That be a blasphemy so great you’ve gone and woke me from the locker! I was living in peaceful silence with me cult of possums perfecting da fine art of ye lemur lube. Twas a good life. The kind where one can rest their sword on the mantel in contentment. BUT NOOOOOOO! You had to go piss on me briches with forth-mentioned blasphemy! Don’t you understand matey? Captain Blood is a very foundation of Pirates of the Caribbean. All dat theys did was rub sum-o ye-old fashion Monkey Island on it! Captain Blood with a scurvy fool and zombies is all they did! Tis a classic! Wrote da very bible of modern cinematic pirac0y it did! (Modern cinematic piracy being… Pirates of the Caribbean) The swashbuckling, da facy wording, Tortuga! Bah! Tis like saying Duke Nukem 3D be the shit but Predator and Evil Dead 2 suck of ye bilge water. Why the plank is no good for ya! A floggin will not do. You should be tied to the mast and forced to watch Cabin Boy… TWICE! Only then will the punishment be payed in full for the great stain upon the honor of Captain Blood dat you hast cast. Yar.

Oy, umm, do movie i pirated count?

Oy, umm, do movie i pirated count?

Yaarrr matey, ya be needing ta watch a few of the Errol Flynn movies, like the Sea Hawk and Captain Blood. Tis some of the great swashbucklin’ tales of all time!

And I suppose Mutiny on The Bounty with Charles Laughton be sorta piratical, the crew does mutiny after all.

And finally there be the Steven Spielberg movie Hook! It’s got Captain Hook and his crew, and they be Pirates as well.

It’s pushing it, but I’d say Carpenter’s The Fog sorta counts as a good pirate film.

It’s pushing it, but I’d say Carpenter’s The Fog sorta counts as a good pirate film.

Nice list, though I think there’s a few others, I definately think one of the best before the whole Caribbean series was the old movies named Nate & Hayes, It’s a bit of a deconstruction, being set in the late 1800′s as piracy was all but dead with the world powers gearing up their navies, so the titular pirates are real underdogs. Though it can be summed up in one scene, Capt’n Tommy Lee Jones with his Ship of the Land fights a Monitor class Ironclad, the only way a pirate can. It’s awesome!

Nice list, though I think there’s a few others, I definately think one of the best before the whole Caribbean series was the old movies named Nate & Hayes, It’s a bit of a deconstruction, being set in the late 1800′s as piracy was all but dead with the world powers gearing up their navies, so the titular pirates are real underdogs. Though it can be summed up in one scene, Capt’n Tommy Lee Jones with his Ship of the Land fights a Monitor class Ironclad, the only way a pirate can. It’s awesome!

Muppet Tr–Okay, no. Sorry.

Nice list, though I think there’s a few others, I definately think one of the best before the whole Caribbean series was the old movies named Nate & Hayes, It’s a bit of a deconstruction, being set in the late 1800′s as piracy was all but dead with the world powers gearing up their navies, so the titular pirates are real underdogs. Though it can be summed up in one scene, Capt’n Tommy Lee Jones with his Ship of the Land fights a Monitor class Ironclad, the only way a pirate can. It’s awesome!

Ice Pirates is FUCKING AWESOME!!

Yea, a great injustice hath been done. For, as I viewed the entries, did come across none but one reference to the great film of pirating, known to the land as Muppet Treasure Island. The want of this film by all but the goodly man that hath been called Hubilub. For that was a film for the ages, sending both children and their elders unto laughter and applause. Everything was in its holy possession. Contain, it did, rats of a vacationing form; musical numbers that, when viewed, brought peace even unto the heart of the Lord, for knowledge that though some of his flock had gone astray, some still sought only to bring amusement and joy unto the masses; and featured the man oft spoken in the holiest of film circles, Tim Curry, who single-handily made Clue a movie of a value moderately good, and whose appearance in the upcoming game of video Dragon Age: Origins had best mean that the game be madeth of awesomeness, lest Bioware incur the wrath of the Lord (who, to the surprise of many of his disciples, did find The Rocky Horror Picture Show to be a most fine movie). Woe unto those who forget this cinematic masterpiece; who did not take pleasure in the most excellent songs like “Shiver My Timbers” and “Cabin Fever,” all written by the most talented Hans Zimmer. May they be tormented by endless plagues of annoying rats singing bad show-tunes, and be accosted at every corner by sudden renditions of “Boom Shakalaka.” And, if they still repenteth not of their errors, may all their games be turned into Superman 64, or E.T. The Game, or Fusion Frenzy. May all their movies be turned into Catwoman and Battlefield: Earth and The Castle of Fu Manchu. May their books be replaced by owner manuals for cars made in 1900, and their comics by replaced by Sultry Teenage Super Foxes, Superman at Earth’s End, and Batman: Fortunate Son. And, if still not repentant, may they be locked in a small room and be forced to watch Planet of the Dinosaurs ten thousand times over, with a break of one hour of informercials most annoying between each showing. For the Lord beth a fan of great proportions of Muppet Treasure Island, and sensation of being snubbed provokes him unto a wrath like a million enraged fanboys! So, let him who snubs Muppet Treasure Island beware, lest the Lord be forced to go Old Testament on his ass.
Peace be upon you all.
P.S. I’m getting ready for Talk Like a Biblical Scholar Day. One day my petition will meet with success!

Yea, a great injustice hath been done. For, as I viewed the entries, did come across none but one reference to the great film of pirating, known to the land as Muppet Treasure Island. The want of this film by all but the goodly man that hath been called Hubilub. For that was a film for the ages, sending both children and their elders unto laughter and applause. Everything was in its holy possession. Contain, it did, rats of a vacationing form; musical numbers that, when viewed, brought peace even unto the heart of the Lord, for knowledge that though some of his flock had gone astray, some still sought only to bring amusement and joy unto the masses; and featured the man oft spoken in the holiest of film circles, Tim Curry, who single-handily made Clue a movie of a value moderately good, and whose appearance in the upcoming game of video Dragon Age: Origins had best mean that the game be madeth of awesomeness, lest Bioware incur the wrath of the Lord (who, to the surprise of many of his disciples, did find The Rocky Horror Picture Show to be a most fine movie). Woe unto those who forget this cinematic masterpiece; who did not take pleasure in the most excellent songs like “Shiver My Timbers” and “Cabin Fever,” all written by the most talented Hans Zimmer. May they be tormented by endless plagues of annoying rats singing bad show-tunes, and be accosted at every corner by sudden renditions of “Boom Shakalaka.” And, if they still repenteth not of their errors, may all their games be turned into Superman 64, or E.T. The Game, or Fusion Frenzy. May all their movies be turned into Catwoman and Battlefield: Earth and The Castle of Fu Manchu. May their books be replaced by owner manuals for cars made in 1900, and their comics by replaced by Sultry Teenage Super Foxes, Superman at Earth’s End, and Batman: Fortunate Son. And, if still not repentant, may they be locked in a small room and be forced to watch Planet of the Dinosaurs ten thousand times over, with a break of one hour of informercials most annoying between each showing. For the Lord beth a fan of great proportions of Muppet Treasure Island, and sensation of being snubbed provokes him unto a wrath like a million enraged fanboys! So, let him who snubs Muppet Treasure Island beware, lest the Lord be forced to go Old Testament on his ass.
Peace be upon you all.
P.S. I’m getting ready for Talk Like a Biblical Scholar Day. One day my petition will meet with success!

The Princess Bride is sorely missing from this list.

The Princess Bride is sorely missing from this list.

HOW DARE YOU NOT MENTION MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND. Spoony, I am disappoint.

Pirates of Silicon Valley

how bout the bob hope pirate comedy movie? muppet treasure island is another great one.

Scramlaz, ye ‘n me be walk’n the same plank, mate. But you be miss’n the best part ‘f that. There be a sequel to Pirates: Pirates 2. Be it a surprise that ’tis no longer a porno, but a movie? But, tis not the foulest part, matey…that be the fact that ye have ta have view’d the first Pirates to h’ve ye bearings ‘n the sequel. Yar ha-ha-ha-har ha~r! Now, I be hear’n a rumor that a lad’s grand ma’m did gift him with Pirates 1…she was s’pposedly think’n it be Pirates of the Caribbean.

Malignant Manor, The Princess Bride be a movie that has pirate elements within, but it be not a movie of pirates, savy?

Scramlaz, ye ‘n me be walk’n the same plank, mate. But you be miss’n the best part ‘f that. There be a sequel to Pirates: Pirates 2. Be it a surprise that ’tis no longer a porno, but a movie? But, tis not the foulest part, matey…that be the fact that ye have ta have view’d the first Pirates to h’ve ye bearings ‘n the sequel. Yar ha-ha-ha-har ha~r! Now, I be hear’n a rumor that a lad’s grand ma’m did gift him with Pirates 1…she was s’pposedly think’n it be Pirates of the Caribbean.

Malignant Manor, The Princess Bride be a movie that has pirate elements within, but it be not a movie of pirates, savy?

The Dread Pirate Roberts disagrees.

man, i remember Ice Pirates and i’m only 25

shit, that sounds kinda old

oh well

Muppet Treasure Island of course!

I gotta agree with the spattering of people: Captain Blood is a great movie. I’m kinda shocked to hear you didn’t think it was very good. For shame, Spoony, for shame.

In terms of others, I have no idea which one it is, or if it’s just childhood nostalgia speaking, but I’m fairly sure at least ONE of the Treasure Island versions was good.

Captain Blood’s not brilliant, but it sure as fuck is a better Pirate movie the Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

Hey you forgot about Pirates that had Jenaveve Jolie, Devon, Janine Lindemulder, Carmen Luvana, and Jesse Jane. That one should have counted.

I gotta say I was expecting a Treasure Island variation somewhere in there. The original Disney adaptation, the Muppets take Treasure Island, or Treasure Planet, where the Island is in space.

Yarr!

HypnoticGenes is right up at #14.

The Disney sci-fied version and the live-action faithful adaptions of Treasure Island I’ve seen have all been very good indeed.

my favorite pirate movie is Treasure Island.
there is a movie from 1966 a german / france production. it’s a 4 part movie and a great version of the book.

Curse of the Black Pearl was easily the only movie that should be counted as ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’. You speak the truth, Smilin’ Jack.

Poll for all Brits: how’s Spoony’s accent?

’twas an accent from the late Elizabethan/ early Georgian period, arrrrrrr (also a Hollywood construct). Don’t yer let the Blightysiders sway yer opinions…….rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And Yellowbeard was great.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, yeah?

How about Cutthroat Island? No? Well, tell you the truth that movie sank faster than Titanic ever did.

What about Treasure Island?

Blackbeard’s Ghost, although not the traditional sort of pirate flick, was a pretty enjoyable and memorable film.

How dare you forget about the Hook!!! that counts… doesn’t it?…

“Congratulations, you looked up “Errol Flynn” on the IMDB and listed two movies you’ve never seen.

They weren’t that good.”

I have seen them – and I didn’t mean The Sea Hawk with Errol Flynn, but the silent movie. They are both great.
Anyway you don’t need to be “that good” to be the best pirate movie of all time

No, no no no and no for Ice Pirates. Just because of space herpes… well that and the movie suck.

What about The Pirate Movie???
A very young and cuddly Kristy McNichol, an elderly pirate king with a ruby-studded codpiece and some of the worst songs ever to feature on the silver screen? It’s got light saber duels, British bobbies, horrible animated scenes and terrible, terrible innuendo:

If you’re treading water
and romance is on the slide,
Don’t you know you have to swallow something more than water
It’s your pride

Ah-huh, I huff and puff
Just to keep love going.
I’m done, I’ve had enough
Of pumpin’ and of blowin’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdlKXRReqNA

What about some Errol Flynn films? He buckled some swashes. Sure, I can’t name any of them, but they exist.

Blackbeard the Pirate kinda rules. Robert Newton is an amazing Blackbeard and the protagonist looks suspiciously like Guybrush from MI1.

HOOK !!!!! was a good one !@!!

sound like your from cornwall now lol

MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Against All Flags with Errol Flynn and Anthony Quinn.

Also Yellowbeard is one of my favorites.

Argh, know about Ice Pirates makes me old? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

ARRRRRRRRG YELLUH BEARD!!!!!! I love that one, Its like monty python, but not by monty python ish amazin also, check this out MY ANNIVERSARRY IS ON INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PYRATE DAY, arrrg Viktry

I gotta throw in Cabin Boy with Chris Elliot, not because the movie was particularly good, but solely because of David Letterman’s stunning performance as Old Salt.

You forgot a lot of movies mate.

Anne of the Indies
Black Pirate, The
Blackbeard the Pirate
Buccaneer, The
Sinbad, the Sailor

Muppet Treasure Island!

the pirate bit in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is pretty badass. bill murray kicks some pirate ass in that one. also the episode of south park where the kids go to samilia is hilarious….thats all i can think of really…hmmm

No mention of Blackbeard’s Ghost!

You need to see that one if you haven’t.

Hell Yeah on Ice Pirates. That movie was kick ass awesome. oh and i want more smiling jack.

Does Time Bandits count?

The Pirates of Penzance or however its spelled! Who doesn’t love a good gilbert and sullivan musical? I loved that movie as a kid. Muppet Treasure Island! It had Tim Currey and Gonzo! AND WHAT ABOUT HOOK?!?! or peter pan for that matter. Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman were great in that movie. You should give more credit to pirate movies.

Treasure Planet

I am SO glad you said Yellowbeard. Amongst my friends I am the only person who has ever heard of that movie.
Which is a pity because Madeline Kahn and Graham Chapman are brilliant in it lol.

ICE PIRATES ROCKED!!! Came out the same time as Android came out on Superchannel! Both great movies :)

Serenity? Well, the TV show Firefly was pirates. Sorta. Western Pirates. In space. Kinda.

They were pirates!

Ice Pirates was AWESOME! I just watched that the other day. Was getting my nostalgia on!

The ship just got “hepres” I mean that funny! Space Hepres is still a scene in that movie that makes me snicker to this day.

Has anyone mentioned the various Treasure Islands or the 1930s era swashbucklers like Captain Blood? Though, to be fair, almost all the best ones ARE from the 1930s.

Muppet Treasure Island is still the best pirate/childrens/anything movie ever made. Unlike every other movie I enjoyed as a kid, where I pulled back the nostalgia filter to reveal a piece of shit, MTI is still great fun.
It’s also the best musical movie ever made. Bar none.

Oh shit dude! Yellowbeard was the first one I thought of after the Pirates of the Carribean ones! Hooray for me! Fucked if I can remember any of it though. All I have is this vague memory of some pirate type character, most likely a pirate, saying “Yellowbeard!” It was awesome.

I love “Ice Pirates”!

What about Time Bandats?

What about Swiss Family Robinson? Or Robinson Crusoe? I think it was made into a movie lol

I’m sure you coulda done Pirate books (lots of them, many of them romance I bet cause women are fucked up and like being treated like objects apparently.. or get off to women being treated like objects in said books). How about Pirate songs?! There are tons of those! How about top Pirate Cartoons? Pirates of the Dark water bitches! Come now Spoony! You can do more than just this!

Next Pirate’s Day I guess…

My favorite is Treasure Island (1950).

No one liked any of the Sinbad films? I thought 7th Voyage or Golden Voyage were pretty good.

I personally always enjoyed The Crimson Pirate.

oh god! Ice Pirates! (*you* feel old)

Yellowbeard was the best, “Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we’re dead!” :D

“I’m gonna make you eat both your own buttocks!”

YES ICE PIRATES!

I just saw it the other day. So hilarious, even though it was cheesy and filled with bad innuendo.

Would Hook count as a pirate film? If so, that was pretty dang good.

Never heard of Yellow Beard, so it was off to youtube. Wow, I can’t believe I missed that one…John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman, Cheech and Chong, Peter Cook, Eric Idle, Madeline Kahn (KAHHHNNNN!!!). Holy crap what a cast, and it came out in 83. How did I miss this?

Well, turns out that someone in the youtube trailer comments section mentioned that you can watch it free on hulu.com! So, I head over there and watched it and it was great! Isn’t the internet amazing?

ice pirates totally counts. and is totally more awesome than the latter two pirates of the carribean films (I was surprised by how much i liked the first one, but was even more surprised by how much i DIDN’T like the other two…yeesh, talk about squandering the good will gained from new fans of a series REALLY fast) hell, i’d rather watch ice pirates than the prequel trilogy. it was a silly little sci fi romp and a blatent ripoff but it captured what made star wars so endearing so much better than the prequels or (shudder) the ewok movies…oh yeah, who remembers those atrocities?

and side note, there may be something to “The UnFuckingBelievable Guy”s point (and a few others i’m sure) to mentioning muppet treasure island. it wasn’t the best movie or anything, but i was both in stitches and honestly impressed by kermit buckling some serious swash in that movie. i mean, holy shit, how do you make a muppet sword fight? and sword fight SKILLFULLY? i really don’t think it was CGI either, though i could be wrong…

You totally forgot about the Princess and the Pirate. OK, it was an OLD film starring Bob Hope but it still counts! :/

MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND!!!

What about Count of Monte Christo?