Oh yeah, the TRAX is back!

Oh yeah, the TRAX is back!

Awesome! I always enjoy your updates Spoony! Don’t push yourself too hard though, okay?

Awesome! I always enjoy your updates Spoony! Don’t push yourself too hard though, okay?

Awesome! I always enjoy your updates Spoony! Don’t push yourself too hard though, okay?

Holy… 2 updates in 2 days?! Spoony, you’re spoiling me…

And I think I like it!

Holy… 2 updates in 2 days?! Spoony, you’re spoiling me…

And I think I like it!

Seriously the floating head thingy is starting to piss me off.

Great video though.

Seriously the floating head thingy is starting to piss me off.

Great video though.

Seriously the floating head thingy is starting to piss me off.

Great video though.

That woman was got her eyeballs removed and she can still humour.

Kudos. <.<

After watching this I need to play Wing Commander 4 and forget that TRAX and most FMV ever existed. Jesus Christ!! Even Rebel Assult 2 was a better FMV than this. LOL

Terror TRAX is un-f**king believable!!!

Anyway, I’m sure Part 3 is all about outtakes.

Now that I think about it…

Phantasmagoria made a whole lot more sense than this.

This chick is pretty chill despite having her eyes ripped out.

Nice, I always knew being able to see in a video game was a waste.

Yea,I feel your terror trax reviews is one of your best vedios youve done

Christopher Walken voice – awesome, more of that :D
And liked the System Shock 2 reference, TRAX reminds me of that computer from SS2.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF IF I SEE THAT MOTHERFUCKING MANNEQUIN COMMERCIAL ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKING TIME

Agent Walken needs more cowbell!
And don’t you just love how the game takes the controls away from you for the climax?
And how the giant floating head pops in and out when the action is getting good?
Awesome reviews Spoony!
Another instant FMV classic.

Oh God Spoony I love your Walken impression so much. XD

Oh God Spoony I love your Walken impression so much. XD

I knew Dr. Insano was in on it the entire time! XD
Awesome, as usual

Another great video.

It sounds like the game’s writer went to the Michael Bay School of Dialogue. Every character is an annoying dickhead, everyone communicates in punchlines, and nobody knows how to respond to anything in a way that makes sense.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. Visiting hours are over.” “That’s great, but this isn’t a trick question!”

Seriously, in what universe does that response match the previous statement? It’s like they knew this was going to be riffed on later.
Can’t wait for the next video, though. I can only imagine what’s going to happen to top this one.

Another great video.

It sounds like the game’s writer went to the Michael Bay School of Dialogue. Every character is an annoying dickhead, everyone communicates in punchlines, and nobody knows how to respond to anything in a way that makes sense.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. Visiting hours are over.” “That’s great, but this isn’t a trick question!”

Seriously, in what universe does that response match the previous statement? It’s like they knew this was going to be riffed on later.
Can’t wait for the next video, though. I can only imagine what’s going to happen to top this one.

Were the developers just not aware that I can’t see shit almost the entire time?

i know continuity is a luxury in a game like this, but Linhart was the patient getting the heart transplant; Sandifleur was the kidney patient! you know, like they told you TWO WHOLE MINUTES BEFORE?! idiots…

That head is freaking annoying…

holy crap …! this is good but not as epic as phantasmagoria ! I almost miss Curtis and his pocket T ! And Blob xD Anyway ! this is still funny. I hope there’s another terrifing …. potato story ! Or a McNugget lover …

Wow what a great game! Half the time you have absolutely no idea what is going on due to the shitty camera angel, then the other half you have that annoying computer face that keeps popping up and getting in your face. Also, the game sure does suck when it comes to logic. Most of the options just end up with you getting killed. Do these TRAX officers even know how to fight or defend themselves? Also, what’s the point of giving you control of what they do if at the end of the game they are just going to take control away from you. Hell, I bet if you just let them do whatever they want them to do during the times you have control, that most of the time it will be the right choice! Finally, I would feel ripped off if I brought this game at full price. Anyway, good work Spoony, and can’t wait to see the final part and your Pumpkin head video. Oh, and please finish Ripper and add these TRAX videos(along with the trailer) and Nightmare Review to your Game Reviews section of your website.

Where did YOU learn to fly?

Did anybody else notice that the first guy where it gives the options to fire or hold fire for Walken looked a lot like Dr. Turk from Scrubs?

Did anybody else notice that the first guy where it gives the options to fire or hold fire for Walken looked a lot like Dr. Turk from Scrubs?

@ :56 seconds

I know the Genesis was the weaker of the two 16-bit systems but I don’t think the graphics were bad enough to pop out your eyes.

I thought the bit with Walken bumping into people in the dark and having to choose whether to shoot or not was clever. Other then that, what a time waster of a game…

Also eyeless girl must be pretty tough to be so calm and making wisecracks.

Wow, I hope there’s more to this game because if I had bought it, I would be pissed. I hated the crappy camera angles and I had a hard time seeing. Even a crappy game like this, they could have put more features on it instead of making it like a Choose Your Adventure series.

Find some eyeballs for Kovak? Is this game under the impression that you can transplant entire eyeballs?

Wow! You’re really cranking these vids out, Spoony.

Hmm..I kinda liked the orgnal better..just beacuse I like how you came up with the stuff on the fly. but thats just me. *shurg*

Man, errr, no, I really dont get what just happened. Im guessing they killed two bad guys, Malibu got hit and Women Walken saved him. So is that the whole game? Seems really short for a video game, and i thought Phantasmagoria 1 was short! Awesome as normal though spoony. We love your reviews!

Well in defence of the blinded girl, she was blind before she got the donated eyes. I guess it wasn’t new to her, just painful and annoying. Great review, but the political humour is a bit dated, and to be honest I kind of come to sites like this to escape that.

She’s no SHODAN

Christopher Walken and Solid Snake
BEST COP DUO EVER

Oh god, the floating head winked at me! IT WINKED AT ME!

Yes! SHODAN reference! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

In the intro movie to System Shock 1 the hacker is wearing a Watchmen tshirt. Useless trivia ftw

Yes more updates!

Ooooh, Spoony! You’re spoiling us!! And we love it =D

AAAAH, DON’T DO THAT! NO SHODAN IMPRESSIONS, THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR!
I’ll be in this corner over there, whimpering…

Hey, wasn’t it amazing how they switched between the officer’s viewpoints in that last segment? How they showed footage from those cool sunglasses-cameras that they weren’t.. even… wearing…
Huh.

Another great playthrough, Spoony!

Did anybody else notice that the story is never advanced by the FMVs, just by the big giant head?

Walken: Jesus, Trax, some kind of lightning monster just attacked me! What the hell was that?!

Girl Zordon: That was the re-animated body of a serial killer that was brought back to life by a vampire lord and is now attacking patients who received his organs as transplants, in some misguided effort to make himself whole.

Walken: Oh. Well Okay then.

Most writers would’ve had the player piece that story together by gathering clues and including exposition in character dialog, but Terror TRAX is just too avant garde for that kind of bourgeois storytelling.

Does anyone else feel like Spoony should include an option to turn on ‘reference subtitles’ like in Spaced, just so we can follow the weird shit he’s making jokes about?

Not a complaint, that’s what I love. But sometimes it flies over my head lol

The FMV version is structured is quite differently from the Audio Book of the same name. Also the Second Operatives gender was changed for the FMV (Male in the Audio Book). I dunno why I’m being so picky, but it’s just interesting to see the changes between the two versions.

Anyway, great as always Spoony. Good System Shock 2 Reference, makes me want to go back and play the original all over again.

Does anyone else think of Quake every time the head makes that teleporting sound?

The System Shock reference was inevitable.

*smack* *smack* *smack* no spoony, puns are low comedy! I know it’s hard to post two videos in two days, but infinite puns? really? *sigh* please tone down on the puns in the future, ok?

Yeah, actually, your Walken impression is pretty damn good.

That head must be the sister/cousin/aunt of the virtual head in that Atari Jaguar game the AVGN reviewed; both are creepy, green, and talk like they’re on Quaaludes.

Nice Clue reference at the end, Spoony!

That head must be the sister/cousin/aunt of the virtual head in that Atari Jaguar game the AVGN reviewed; both are creepy, green, and talk like they’re on Quaaludes.

Nice Clue reference at the end, Spoony!

i dunno about you guys but if i was dealing with vampires i’d always have a gun ready in one hand and holy water in the next…at ALL times

Why do these people always enter locations and not bother with the lights? (or night vision goggles)

I mean, if they are part of a ‘paranormal’ unit that deals with ‘children of the night’ you’d think that they’d….I dont know…..wear NVG!

This way you can see the environment in the dark and not blunder about like a idiot.

You’re the man, Spoony! I hope you escape the Blagole!

One would think that hunters of the supernatural would be better fighters…

Anyway; good job on this and Spoony (looking around to make sure nobody else hears it) I want some of those… items mentioned at the very end of LordKaTs’ “Until We Win – Deadly Towers” video too ;-)

I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Your riffing helps a lot but, oh man this is so bad.

And for that matter you’d think they would be used to getting attacked, i mean come on! if your job is hunting down things like vamps and stuff you’d think they would be more alert about what the hell their doing!!! you don’t see soldiers wearing bull’s eye shirts in the middle of a war zone,

Well, i guess TRAX simply used up all there funds on the “High Tech” equipment they give to their agents, and so cannot afford in actually training them in being useful with it.

p.s Spoony you rock man! Glad your feeling better man!

Wow Someone has been busy. Too bad this game doesn’t have machine gun toting werewolves :)

PLEASE do a review of Twilight

Stop being so not funny.

Very good Gollum impression, Spoony. And this coming from a person who can nail Gollum’s voice.

Out of curiosity, though, why does the computer speak in broken sentences? I can understand automated callers doing this, because they have to stop to insert new words…

Today is…Wednesday.
Today is…Thursday.

But this computer isn’t working on automated speech. So why bother with the pauses?

Well, the girl that got her eyes removed didn’t cry, at least. OSNAP.

Wait, they use organs from someone who was in the electrical chair?
You’d think those organs would have been completely useless, especailly the eyes unless their version of the electrical chair only fries the brain from the inside out which would still damage everything.

Also, eye transplants? Wut?

Wait… Don’t they need their ‘supa secret supa glasses’ to transmit what they see? Isn’t the camera in those?… Then how the hell does that work with the last scene where none of them wears it?

Dr. Acula. LOL Priceless.

Spoony, what will we do when you run out of shitty FMV games to play? I love your riffs on these, man. Keep it up.

“Where did you learn how to fly?” I hope I’m not the only one who got the Cybermorph reference.

Wait? A blackout in a hospital??? Don’t they have backup generators?

Dr Insano cameo, nice!

I’m kind of surprised that you didn’t notice that the blinded woman said “Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything”.
Oooooh, nasty…….

By the way, your Christopher Walken impersonation is hilarious.

ooh, was that “Bat Boy found in cave” line an Onion News Headline reference?

Malibu? Looks more like Stevie Richards :-/

http://fast1.onesite.com/fans.wwe.com/user/reily/party_pics/76829e79db8904d8048f24e163a6764f.jpg

“I didn’t see anything.” Priceless, writers, priceless. She sure adjusted to the whole “I just had my eyes ripped from their sockets” deal pretty quickly, huh?

I gotta love that bit where Graves mutters about the accident on the side of the road. I guess they drove past it, so they just added a bit of throwaway dialog to make it look like it’d been part of the storyline all along. I guess something like JUST EDITING IT OUT would have been too much effort.

And if the computer thing can auto-control the agents (what are they? Robots?) why the hell do they need you? Couldn’t they just auto-control the whole time? ‘Course, I don’t know why I’m expecting anything in this game to make sense…

Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors

lol, I was wondering how long it would take Spoony to call them out on the SHODAN ripoff.

DUDE! YES! I’m related to Pat Buttram! So happy you actually said the last name right too! sweet!

This game makes no sense logically. Where’s the common sense to turn on the damn light switch if you’re going to enter a room where ther was an organ harvest orgy?

The idea of Spoony doing a Twilight review… say, Spoony, didn’t you mention in the Mak Your Own Video review that you have a sister? Why not bring her on to review Twilight.

Holy crap, the CD was more comprehendable than this was!

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FLY?

First thing I thought of when I saw part 1 I was waiting for this reference thanks for not letting me down Spoony, now I can cry in peace.

“Man. I went to the doctor the other day. All this guy did was suck blood out of my neck. Never go to see Dr. Acula.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

In response to FaustSnake, corneal implants are real and they do techincally take implants from what they call Cardiac Death Donors (donors whose hearts have stopped as opposed to donors who are brain dead,) but I don’t think that includes organs that have been cooked in the electric chair. I’m guessing the designers went something like this, “Wouldn’t be cool if our villian was this guy whose organs went to different people and now he’s taking them back?” “Doesn’t that kind of rip off Jeepers Creepers?” “Screw you!” “Well how did this guy die anyway?” “In the electric chair…” “Can organs that were in the electric chair be donated?” “Shut up! Plot holes are awesome!”

Oh Spoony, if I wasn’t already married I would rock your freakin’ world, the way you rock mine…(You know, by making hilarious video reviews…)

I’m kinda surprised you didn’t comment on stage 2 illustration of Dr. Hemos “bloodlust” which listed “angry rage” as a symptom. Angry rage. As opposed to what? Happy rage? Angry joy?

Also, your Walken-ing just makes me thirst for more Ripper… it’s un-fucking-believable…

The constant horrible beeping in the power-lost hospital scenes?
My alarm clock.
Same freaking generic SCREE SCREE SCREE noise, intolerably horrid… Not enough to distract me from how freaking bad this all is, but it definitely benefits in making it easier to pay attention to Spoony and his wonderful comedy.

oh God my head….shakey camera…gonna barf….

Is that….is that a fucking Sega Genesis in the home of the lady with no eyes?

@Oskar
She JUST had her eyes ripped out. She could have been playing it before.
God, I hate midwestern accents. How is it that the tiny little strip of land where the non-regional accent comes from is it the midwest? Seriously, I don’t get that. One of the reasons I always hated Sarah Palin. I mean, I know that working around death and killing monsters must be pretty jading and kinda calls for a cynical attitude, but does she really have to be so inconsiderate that she’s basically shooting ice every time she opens her mouth? What a bitch. I haven’t seen such heartlessness, conceity, and apathy since CWC. And that’s saying something.

Wait, isn’t Hayden Christensen a girl?

Why do the nurses look like they’re from the 50s? Nurses dress in scrubs. I don’t think they’ve worn dresses since the 70s.
You mean the “NEPHROLOGY” ward?
I really want to know where this was filmed.
Goddammit, why does EVERYONE use the name “Snake”? There are only 2 people in the world who can use that name: Snake Plissken and Solid Snake. With everyone else, it’s just cheap and uncreative.
Wow, they actually made Dr. Hemos look like Nosferatu. Interesting.

I actually think Snake is kinda hot. The deep gruff voice, long scraggly hair, and peach fuzz are fucking sexy.

@fick you should go down to the local needle exchange in my area there are plenty of guys who fit your description. I’m sure they would be willing to sell you some favors.

ROFLMAO Love the Clue movie reference at the end of part 2.

This is what happens when game creators confuse “badass” with “completely unlikeable excuse for a human being”. Every last one of those TRAX agents gets on my nerves, from their ridiculous overconfidence in their abilities (which we have yet to see any evidence of) to the outright contempt they show to the people they are supposed to be helping it really makes you wonder if they are even the good guys.

You let a bunch of second-rate cops in on a secret and suddenly they act like they are gods or something,

YESSSS You made a Cybermorph reference!

this game really is so bad that it’s borderline unwatchable even with your hilarious commentary.
You are brave, good sir.

Loved the scrubs reference.

Goddamnit that woman cannot focus properly. LOOK AT ME YOU REBOOT REJECT!

Horrible, horrible puns! I love it!

Wtf is that Carol Channing speaking in the beginning? XD

That damn computer is annoying as hell! Her head like looks around in random directions and it zooms into her face, I mean really that thing is obnoxious as hell. Course, I think Spoony got the worst end of dealing with it XD

hahaha awesome as always, i played this with my friends.. you see it was orginally an Audio CD hence the over explanations of what they see and ridicuiouls voice acting

oh nevermind you knew that haha

I always loved those “choose your own adventure” books as a kid, so maybe I’m the only one here who is actually entertained by the game itself. It’s not like I don’t know it’s bad, but I do like “Snake’s” voice…

Although ya gotta love what Spoony adds.

WTF??? On the last scene of the video, when Walken is helping Snake get up, Snake's camera, that was supposed to be on his glasses, is showing his first person point of view even though he isn't wearing his glasses!
I can't believe Spoony didn't bash on that :P

Wait…How did officer 1 see officer 2 when he wasn't wearing the HUD shades? LOGIC ERROR!