Terror T.R.A.X. – Track of the Vampire (PC), Part 3

Honestly, if a giant creepy head popped up in my glasses while I was driving I would probably crash and die.

Ahh this brings back memories. Awesome review as usual. I have no idea why but the surfer dude impression cracks me up every time.

I know you have your own schedule but I'd love to know your take on "A Fork in the Tale". Despite, higher production values than your average FMV, it was still a failure. Not to mention, Rob "annoys-the-hell-outta-me" Schneider. Also may be "Tender Loving Care". (Although admittedly a fairly good adventure game. And John frigging Hurt!)

Cheers.

PS. the sign at the start of video ain't Arabic. It's Persian.
PSS. What's your problem with Journeyman Project Series? They're awesome!

Wait, so you're telling me that no matter what you do, you can't win the game and become a full member of TRAX? So basically there is no winning scenario, there's only scenarios where less people die so you don't lose as badly.
Wow. This game gives depression out like candy. No matter what, you're not good enough for it.

I liked all the jokes that threw back to his older videos especially the Dragon Strike ones. Spoony is freakin' hilarious when he does commentary/riff tracks. The game looks pretty frustrating to play, but Spoony made watching it really fun.

But with three Twilight references, it seems like Spoony knows more about the series than he lets on.
Spoony, if it turns out that you like to read Eclipse before bed, we will still love you and watch you videos anyways.

No wait... his brother owns a copy of Twilight. He might has seen it at his place at one point of time. Never mind.

Here is the tune for you to use for the above comment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffBow9gTyOY&...

It's a shame you didnt instil the "game over" theme from Metal Gear Solid when you said "Snake?! Snake?!?! SNAAAAAKE!!!!!" after hemos kills Graves at the gate.

That would have been pure gold!

Anyone know who sang that song in the end credits?

Hold on a second. Did one of those credits say COWBOY SURGEON?

Damn... How the hell did I miss that in the review??

Thanks for showing us the alternate versions of the endings, Spoony. Like I said before, If I had purchased this game, especially at the full price then I would have been pissed by the lack of other features and short gameplay. Listening to you commentating was the only entertaining thing about this FMV from hell. By the way, have you made your way out of the blackhoe yet?

It's funny how much that guy does sound like Snake. Thought his conversations on the phone are not nearly long enough to be Snake. An yeah you might as well flip a coin because man those officers are clueless. As always the random nostalgic quotes are funny.

Eeehhh.... It would have been better if you hadn't referenced your old reviews the whole way... I don't know, it felt like you couldn't come up with anything for this one...

@Zack Dolan Have Starchaser on dvd.

I really liked your commentary for this one. I don't think I would have been able to watch this without it. You can barely see anything most of the time. I loved that line at the beginning of part 2 about the lightning monster and the shrubberies. Though it is kind of cool how there are quite a few multiple paths in the story. You don't seem to see that very often in these kinds of games. Hell in much of any kind of game really. If there is any it's usually just one or two choices right at the end.

Regarding the "Damned if you shoot, damned if you don't" situation, it seemed... familiar for some reason.
"Either these blood tests don't actually work, or this game is bugged up the ass!"
Except a scripted game like this can't be 'bugged' per se, so I guess it was the WRITER who is glitched and requires termination.

3rd rock from the sun reference I haven't seen that show in years.In the first part where you were doing the Snake voice it sounded more like Joseph from King of the Hill.

Ohhh, now this makes me want to watch Clue again....

Jael the twilight references were because the thing is about vampires and such. his mentioning twilight just further explains how twilight is worse even than a simple fmv game.

"Your interfering with my plan!"

"Yeah, DragonStrike" LOL.

Loved the little clip of Malibu from American Gladiators even though it's a recycled joke from the DragonStrike review (Then again, this game recycled actors from DragonStrike....)

Seeing this makes me cringe at the thought of if they ever decided to make a FMV of Track of the Werewolf. Thank god they didn't.

I kind of agree with what TWF said about this being entertaining (compared to most FMV games) I mean, at least the core material is kind of kool and I think the make-up/costume design was pretty decent. This game definitely looks better than anything on the Sega CD and completely poops on the other FMV games you've covered...Kool videos...can't wait to see more.

holy jesus god..I believe these guys are in some way affiliated with TSR which is why like the whole gang from dragonstrike is back doing this. for all i can tell, officer walken was the thief. probably the other baffoons are lurking in the background somewhwere but you just can't tell cause of the "blair witch on crystal meth and pop rocks" camera angles. i swear these dudes are like the video game equivelant of full moon productions or the asylum...guarenteed to be the shoddiest, worst, poor, badly acted, cliche ridden, bad image comic plotted mess that you just can't help but watch mess imagineable...

and again, LOGIC NEVER FACTORS IN. I swear walken says she was "not a psycho" like graves but she is shooting shit left and right while the big tough tv's renengade vampire killer draws his weapon...what? once? maybe? if you kill him, turns out he was not infected, if you don't, he bobbity cams you to death (ya know, mugging and shaking the camera going "bobbity bobbity bobbity"...like any dr. who monster would) so if i read this right, you couldn't get the ...heh, let's call it "good" ending based on a decision all the way back to before the investigation STARTED!!!??? THE HELL???!!

oh and I almost forgot

@Thomas from #22...I remember Starchaser the legend of Orin...you're not alone, watersnake hahah :)
"will you be paying in starbacks? credits? or Goooooold?"
"...what's a starback?"

What is it with you and the Twilight refences anyway?

I dunno, compared to so many FMV games this is actually entertaining. Multiple paths/endings, amusing cheesyness, yeah some bullshit such as wonky cameras and deathtraps (like Agent Snake dying every time he tried to investigate or arrest Hemos except that one time where HE WAS SURROUNDED JUST LIKE MOST OF THE OTHER TIMES). Definitely wouldn't pay full retail, but you have to wonder what kind of profit you'd make mass-producing these with a items-around-the-house and $1000 budget each.

Maybe this game made all my brain cells die. I dunno.

This review often refered to your previous reviews. I hope that new people will still find it funny.

Ah alas Spoony's stuck in the blagole and can't read his beloved comments. And that damn CG head keeps reminding me of a Robocop 2. Just looks like a half-a$$ed female version.

As for the rescue op, sign me up too. I've got some 5lb test rope, some glowy bracelets and enough delusion to go around =P

Rofl spoony, your Walken is spot on, cracked me up haha

Wait, that was it? That was some terrible game right there. Press A not to die.

Is that "Move bitch, get out the way" line gonna become the next "I heard that, Curtis"?

Cuz I cracked up both times.

And to elaborate on Tea Man, has anyone ever read a choose your own adventure book that tried to rewarded logical decisions?

Choice A- try to call the police (result: Rock falls, you die of aids)
Choice B- follow the burglar yourself to dark isolated place (result: discover the secret of El Dorado)

Made me want to see more on the Ripper. xD