Terror T.R.A.X. – Track of the Vampire (PC): The Whole Bloody Affair

by Spoony on October 23, 2009 · View Comments

Here’s the complete, uncut version of the episode!

{ 94 comments }

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EXCELS10R October 24, 2009 at 2:53 pm: SPOONY OMG PLAY BORDERLANDS PLAY BORDERLANDS PLAY BORDERLANDS DO A REVIEW SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strelnikov October 24, 2009 at 3:07 pm: Answer to MFlorean: Kyle Gass is a veteran of The Actors’ Gang, a LA theater company. I’m guessing he was a go-between to provide “Terror TRAX” crew with actors. I don’t know if it’s been commented before, but a lot of the actors from the “DragonStrike” video have parts in “Track of the Vampire”; both John Boyle (Dr. Hemos) and Deron “Malibu” McBee were in that tape. Edie Mirman (the female TRAX officer) has a long history of voice acting in dubbed anime movies and TV shows; she did voices on “Robotech” and was the voice of the creepy computer in “Track of the Vampire.” Hell, even one of the writers of “DragonStrike” (Flint Dille) worked on “TRAX”!
In a weird bit of “six degrees of seperation” Kyle Gass co-starred with Shane Black (“Leathal Weapon” screenwriter) in Chris Matheson’s 1993 short film “Mike the Detective.” Matheson was a co-creator of the Bill and Ted characters, which means that “Terror TRAX: Track of the Vampire” is both vaguely related to “The Matrix” and Tenacious D.
chris October 24, 2009 at 3:18 pm: lmfao, i love these

you should review something to do with wwe lol, you’re always using wrestling references
NucleaRaptor October 24, 2009 at 3:54 pm: >>Anybody else think that the commercial lady doing the Manikin’s voice is hot? No… damnit…

You best be trolling. I want to punch that bitch in the fucking face. I can’t stand that godforsaken commercial anymore.
Clytemnestra October 24, 2009 at 8:47 pm: Spoony, there were two Twilight jokes in that review that showed obvious knowledge of the storyline…Please hand over your man-cards.

Otherwise, keep up the good work.
The Shamster October 24, 2009 at 11:23 pm: One thing I dont get is that Snake had a crucifix around his neck as well as garlic and Holy water on his body…And he STILL get’s killed/vampirized by the vampires?!?!?!?

Sheesh, I guess those myths of using said instruments against the undead were lies told to him when he applied for the job.
Strelnikov October 25, 2009 at 12:13 am: The Shamster
One thing I dont get is that Snake had a crucifix around his neck as well as garlic and Holy water on his body…And he STILL get’s killed/vampirized by the vampires?!?!?!?

I think the game is structured a lot like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” gamebooks; people died stupidly in those all the time. However because of space limitations the game only has 4 or 5 endings (unlike the 8-10 endings in a CYOA book) so there are these dumb points where Malibu could have survived but didn’t because it would have screwed up the storyline. Even for an FMV “Terror TRAX” is pretty limited; they would have been better off with a regular video game.
Lovick October 25, 2009 at 4:43 pm: Waaaaaaiiiiiit a minute? How in the hell can you see what both officers see at 34:47 if NEITHER OFFICER IS WEARING THEIR CAMERA GLASSES?
OmegaWarrior October 25, 2009 at 5:06 pm: Did that floating cyber-head remind anyone else of Hexadecimal from Reboot?
GreenLightning October 25, 2009 at 6:40 pm: Loved the Clue reference near the end. Good one as always, Spoony.
MFlorian October 25, 2009 at 8:22 pm: @ Strelnikov: Yeah, I know he is. I just wondered why Gass was specifically mentioned. Was he in the video? Did he facilitate the makers of the game getting in touch with The Actors’ Gang?
Barack Obama October 25, 2009 at 8:46 pm: The president demands MORE RIPPER.
mikon October 26, 2009 at 8:51 am: Re: Comment 32

Law abiding citizen SUCKED. I knew from the previews that it was going to suck, but I went anyway because my dad wanted to see it. The plot’s stupid, the twist is stupid, the premise is stupid, and the characters are stupid. Jamie and Gerard should both be ashamed of themselves for being in that movie, and sent to the Black Hole (Blaggoe?).
fick dich October 26, 2009 at 4:51 pm: Wow, you seem to review a lot of games and movies with Malibu in them, don’t you? Is this a coincidence.
fick dich October 26, 2009 at 4:56 pm: 10-82 means reserve lodging. *bow chicka wow-wow*
How’d you know that?!
Prons October 26, 2009 at 7:33 pm: Awesome review
Dimitrios October 27, 2009 at 8:47 am: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1O5yLkcauQ

Malibu on veronica mars. Here is sure looking grizzled at this point, so much so that even after dragon strike and trax I still didnt realize this was him in this episode (and im a huge veronica mars fan).
Mr. Rubino October 27, 2009 at 5:33 pm: Ok, “wtflol”, there are different years flying at me from all directions in this movie. I have no idea when it’s taking place.
Mr. Rubino October 27, 2009 at 5:39 pm: Urk. Now my chronos hurts trying to build a timeline for this. >_>
PinkGunpowder October 28, 2009 at 2:15 pm: Hey, I think vampire tramp number three was Susan, Carol’s lesbian lover from friends. Have a look and check.

And that part when the blind woman says “Don’t worry I didn’t see you” has to be one of the most unneeded and terrible jokes ever uttered, topping the joke that NC mentioned to be the worst in NORTH so I’m giving this worst joke ever uttered in a game ever. WHY THE FUCK WOULD A WOMAN WHO JUST GOT HER EYES GAUGED OUT MAKE A FUCKING JOKE ABOUT IT!!!!!? Retards.
white_rotten_rabbit October 29, 2009 at 3:15 am: LOL @ 36:05
I thought the same thing at the beginning, when I first saw this green visage XD
TheBest! October 29, 2009 at 7:58 pm: I love it! Awesome job as usual Spoony. Stop teasing me with the Christopher Walken. I want more Ripper.
dylan October 30, 2009 at 10:53 pm: great job you should do more lp’s your amazing at them
BlaDe November 2, 2009 at 4:51 pm: OMG I havent even watched a minute and i thought id die, OMG to me the black joke was the funniest fucking thing i heard all day ROFL!!!! “except if you were black” hahhahah thank you for making my day!!!!
BlaDe November 2, 2009 at 5:49 pm: one of your best LOVED it:)
Shadow Poet November 11, 2009 at 2:37 am: DUDE! You totally sounded like Nathan Explosion from Metalocalypse when you do the TRAX officer’s voice. XD

“Oh yeah, live web cam shows, sometimes there’s lesbian shit, its TOTALLY BRUTAL!” – Nathan Expoonsion
BOA November 19, 2009 at 12:55 pm: Does anybody else think that the ending credits song sounds like a bad BIlly Talent song? Maybe that’s just me.
8454417 December 9, 2009 at 10:54 pm: i dialed 1-800-lat-date and it is a real dating service LOL
devilfish February 20, 2010 at 2:07 am: “Hey, I think vampire tramp number three was Susan, Carol's lesbian lover from friends. Have a look and check.”

Oh mah lawd, it's Jessica Hecht. I nearly died laughing when I saw her.
notyoursavior78 February 21, 2010 at 4:31 am: Oh man I busted out laughing immediately when Spoony started talking and he didn't even make it to the title screen. Oh man, Spoony/Noah does like the best commentaries ever. I've seen this before, but it has been a long time since I watched it and it was only once.
Chris Hominski April 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm: the receptionist was billy madison's kindergarden teacher. shes p hot in this game
crnrdfox April 21, 2010 at 2:47 am: “Ha Ha Ha….NOW you're working togethe-AHHH” lmfao
MetaFlossy April 25, 2010 at 2:19 pm: Dragonstrike references make me happy.
Joe May 31, 2010 at 7:06 pm: Ugh… this has to be the most annoying game I've ever seen. Mainly it's the noisy 3D teleporting head, the obnoxious sound effect it makes every single time, and the computer's goddamn annoying voice. Seriously, imagine if the Borg assimilated Kirk, gave him a female voice, and cranked up the “bullshit” meter to 11 and you've got this chick's voice.
laharl777 June 2, 2010 at 10:19 pm: Bacon cigarettes!
atypicaloracle July 13, 2010 at 12:58 pm: Um… I thought the whole point of the stupid sunglasses-at-night thing was because it had the freaking camera attached to it? Yet neither of these two numbskulls are wearing their frigging sunglasses… so is the camera implanted in their eyes now?
Bruce Rammel July 18, 2010 at 4:12 pm: nice but lame on the gameplay
Christina D. July 19, 2010 at 4:11 pm: Because to work in a hospital you need to work with quiet, dignity, and grace……… “SOMEBODY GET THE LIGHTS!!!”
MetalNick July 26, 2010 at 1:51 am: All I can think of when I see the “ghost” is “Where did you learn to drive?”
spoonshock August 7, 2010 at 3:00 pm: I think Agent Snake's been drinking on the job.
Anonymous August 7, 2010 at 10:00 pm: I think Agent Snake’s been drinking on the job.
Anonymous August 14, 2010 at 3:08 am: Oh man, thirty seconds into this video, and I’m already laughing. Spoony, sir, you are amazing. I love this Let’s Play video.
conmech August 19, 2010 at 10:02 pm: wow man this game is so awesome. So is your commentary…
Christian Østerballe August 22, 2010 at 5:22 pm: Has anybody considered at the end, we see they are both not wearing glasses…. and yet the POV thingie is explained with so-called Heads-up Shades…. That they don’t wear!!!