This is AWESOME

Beautiful review overall, it’s just kind of hard to make out what’s happening… but that’s just bad game design. Keep it up!

Thank you ^_^ Personally I’d rather watch let’s play/rift track-styled reviews in a single long video rather than a bunch of smaller ones. By the way, if Yor is considered the manliest man, Graves has to be amongst the whimpest. Why do you sign up to fight Vampires if you’re just going to freeze up every time someone attacks you?

I am Malibu, Vampire Hunter.

Escape from new york/ LA
Awesome music and oteah, great review. I kinda thought you realised the walkin name a little too late, but funny none the less.

Oh and my fave line:

Tell everybody to panic. Do it now!!

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see you”? How did you not go “Ba-dum TISH!”?

“Forget the vampires, this furniture is the real horror”

Wait a minute…in the credits. Special thanks to Kyle Gass? I wonder what hand he played in this.

Oooh, I’ve never been this early in the comments! :P
Good stuff, Spoony. As usual.

This game could have been fun, but they screwed it up big time with the shonky camera (I know it was meant to be a shoulder mounted camera) and the darkness.

Even if it’s meant to be dark for the story, at least make it visable for us to see what’s going on. Although I think I can understand it being dark with the electric-frankenstin guy, since his very presence shorts out all electric equipment and the backup generators…but the rest of the game should have some LIGHT!

Also, the very bad puns. It really just makes you groan and deliberately get yourself killed/vampirized.

You are a brilliant character Spoony! I’m glad I found this site.

The black hole? I think you meant The Bhlak Hol!!!

They need to bring the Trax back with the gun toting wherewo;ves. But this was a really good lets play.
Did you get your revenge for Twilight?

Want something to bring you a little bit of vampire happiness?
In case you don’t remember or didn’t care, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.
Great game, from a time when vampire hadn’t quite turned into sparkling pussies just yet.
Also quite a bit of bugs that will make you laugh.

God a bacon cigarette sounds awesome

Your imitation of Malibu really reminded me of Christian Bale’s Batman voice, which made it even more hilarious xD

I love you , , , , and this

Spoony, now that there is rule34 on you, you have officially become immortal.
http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/368765

Tell everyone to panic DO IT NOW!

hahahahaha! nice. althou some of this is allright but enromous ammounts of it was crap or confusing. thank god i missed this one. Nice vid mr Spoony sir!

Officer Graves looks like he’s the son of James Hetfield and Gary Busey. Busey obviously being his mother.

Ah I love this series. Did someone up at Wizard really think that a non selling choose your own adventure audio series like Terror TRAX would sell any better if they put video to it? Or even would it do any better? Anyway, not for lack of trying but they really were stretching out. Oh btw for all you fans Track of the Vampire and Track of the Werewolf are free to download straight from the Wizards of the Coast website.

I think Dr Insano popped in for a second to order pizza.

You still spelled BLAGGOLE!!! wrong.

Also it seems like somebody gave Paul Greengrass the camera.

This review is not funny.

@TigerCakes:
I know, it’s hilarious, right?

I want a “…And he kicked himself in the head!” T-shirt.

So is this really all there is to this game? It seems really short. And it seems like it had much too much exposition for its length and the number of things that come up in the game.

Did you notice the credits mention Kyle Gass and the Actor’s Gang? Holy shit!

“They cut the power?!? Whaddya mean they cut the power?!? They’re fucking animals, man!”

Was I the only one who just stopped short of yelling, “Ah, shut up Hudson!” at the screen?

You know what’s funny? People today bitch and moan if a game doesn’t offer 10+ hours of game play, and here we have Spoony playing this whole game for us in about 1 hour. :)

If FMV games were released today they’d have to be 10 dvd boxed sets or else the gamers would revolt for feeling ripped-off.

What about FMV Hell? This game looks incredibly bad! Oh if only they all could be “Under a Killing Moon”.

hey that was nice

on a side note there are 2 movies you should soo check out

moon
law abiding citizen

i think you will like them a lot……..altho the plot twists in moon are a bit too abvious

any way the play throu was cool…… tooo bad the death scenes lack a bit of gore

I still blame Agent Graves’ complete ineffectiveness on those shades. How is he supposed to see the vampires while he’s wearing Stevie Wonder’s darkest sunglasses AT NIGHT? I don’t think T.R.A.X. thought that one through.

anyone else notice the lady at the desk is the teacher from billy madison?

Agent Snake was incredibly entertaining.

I find it odd that Dr. Hemos is killed in this one when in the Audio version he is not a hostile vampire. I also find it odd that the second TRAX officer was turned into a woman.

Great video spoony, the TRAX computer sucks, she takes up a lot of the game time and doesn’t do anything other than float around. She should have remained as audio.

More than that, I am surprised that they were able to have the same voice actors for the game as they did for the audio version.

Any plans for another “4 schmucks”

Not bad but it feels a bit too much of a clip show of your old videos
Better to keep those reference sparse, like you’re peppering a sundae

Is it just more or does the computer sound like the one from zion mainframe from the animatrix?

Thank you for posting the entire story together.

I wonder how T.R.A.X would respond if someone deliberately phoned in a prank phone call pretending to be attacked by vampires and instead led the ‘hunters’ to a group of Twilight, Emo/Goth, vampire-wanna-be’s.

Probably by getting their asses kicked by the emos.

Quote :
Andy October 23, 2009 at 12:05 pm
What about FMV Hell? This game looks incredibly bad! Oh if only they all could be “Under a Killing Moon”.

True … but UAKM wasn’t really ONLY a FMV, it was also a lot 3D-environments to navigate through.

funny stuff there, funny stuff.

What puzzles me is why they had all that extra crap on themselves like the garlic (which is uneffective unless you’re wearing it around your neck, or doused yourself in garlic cologne) or the crucifix. And while I’m thinking about it; it would’ve been extremely hilarious if the TRAX officers carried around pointy sticks instead of guns, and they went around stabbing vampires in the hearts with them.

Anybody else think that the commercial lady doing the Manikin’s voice is hot? No… damnit…

This game looks like it sucks but I’d still play it.

Check it out! http://printfection/t-shirtvillain

I prefer the original over the uncut.

I love how Snake has the same apartment as Jeffrey Dahmer…and why does he have a no shirt and a vest and look like Dog the Bounty Hunter?

Where did YOU learn to fly??

this wasn’t such a bad story, i guess. The lines were stupid and the gameplay itself was non-existent. Awesome review, tho, sir.

SPOONY OMG PLAY BORDERLANDS PLAY BORDERLANDS PLAY BORDERLANDS DO A REVIEW SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer to MFlorean: Kyle Gass is a veteran of The Actors’ Gang, a LA theater company. I’m guessing he was a go-between to provide “Terror TRAX” crew with actors. I don’t know if it’s been commented before, but a lot of the actors from the “DragonStrike” video have parts in “Track of the Vampire”; both John Boyle (Dr. Hemos) and Deron “Malibu” McBee were in that tape. Edie Mirman (the female TRAX officer) has a long history of voice acting in dubbed anime movies and TV shows; she did voices on “Robotech” and was the voice of the creepy computer in “Track of the Vampire.” Hell, even one of the writers of “DragonStrike” (Flint Dille) worked on “TRAX”!
In a weird bit of “six degrees of seperation” Kyle Gass co-starred with Shane Black (“Leathal Weapon” screenwriter) in Chris Matheson’s 1993 short film “Mike the Detective.” Matheson was a co-creator of the Bill and Ted characters, which means that “Terror TRAX: Track of the Vampire” is both vaguely related to “The Matrix” and Tenacious D.

lmfao, i love these

you should review something to do with wwe lol, you’re always using wrestling references

>>Anybody else think that the commercial lady doing the Manikin’s voice is hot? No… damnit…

You best be trolling. I want to punch that bitch in the fucking face. I can’t stand that godforsaken commercial anymore.

Spoony, there were two Twilight jokes in that review that showed obvious knowledge of the storyline…Please hand over your man-cards.

Otherwise, keep up the good work.

One thing I dont get is that Snake had a crucifix around his neck as well as garlic and Holy water on his body…And he STILL get’s killed/vampirized by the vampires?!?!?!?

Sheesh, I guess those myths of using said instruments against the undead were lies told to him when he applied for the job.

The Shamster
One thing I dont get is that Snake had a crucifix around his neck as well as garlic and Holy water on his body…And he STILL get’s killed/vampirized by the vampires?!?!?!?

I think the game is structured a lot like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” gamebooks; people died stupidly in those all the time. However because of space limitations the game only has 4 or 5 endings (unlike the 8-10 endings in a CYOA book) so there are these dumb points where Malibu could have survived but didn’t because it would have screwed up the storyline. Even for an FMV “Terror TRAX” is pretty limited; they would have been better off with a regular video game.

Waaaaaaiiiiiit a minute? How in the hell can you see what both officers see at 34:47 if NEITHER OFFICER IS WEARING THEIR CAMERA GLASSES?

Did that floating cyber-head remind anyone else of Hexadecimal from Reboot?

Loved the Clue reference near the end. Good one as always, Spoony.

@ Strelnikov: Yeah, I know he is. I just wondered why Gass was specifically mentioned. Was he in the video? Did he facilitate the makers of the game getting in touch with The Actors’ Gang?

The president demands MORE RIPPER.

Re: Comment 32

Law abiding citizen SUCKED. I knew from the previews that it was going to suck, but I went anyway because my dad wanted to see it. The plot’s stupid, the twist is stupid, the premise is stupid, and the characters are stupid. Jamie and Gerard should both be ashamed of themselves for being in that movie, and sent to the Black Hole (Blaggoe?).

Wow, you seem to review a lot of games and movies with Malibu in them, don’t you? Is this a coincidence.

10-82 means reserve lodging. *bow chicka wow-wow*
How’d you know that?!

Awesome review

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1O5yLkcauQ

Malibu on veronica mars. Here is sure looking grizzled at this point, so much so that even after dragon strike and trax I still didnt realize this was him in this episode (and im a huge veronica mars fan).

Ok, “wtflol”, there are different years flying at me from all directions in this movie. I have no idea when it’s taking place.

Urk. Now my chronos hurts trying to build a timeline for this. >_>

Hey, I think vampire tramp number three was Susan, Carol’s lesbian lover from friends. Have a look and check.

And that part when the blind woman says “Don’t worry I didn’t see you” has to be one of the most unneeded and terrible jokes ever uttered, topping the joke that NC mentioned to be the worst in NORTH so I’m giving this worst joke ever uttered in a game ever. WHY THE FUCK WOULD A WOMAN WHO JUST GOT HER EYES GAUGED OUT MAKE A FUCKING JOKE ABOUT IT!!!!!? Retards.

LOL @ 36:05
I thought the same thing at the beginning, when I first saw this green visage XD

I love it! Awesome job as usual Spoony. Stop teasing me with the Christopher Walken. I want more Ripper.

great job you should do more lp’s your amazing at them

OMG I havent even watched a minute and i thought id die, OMG to me the black joke was the funniest fucking thing i heard all day ROFL!!!! “except if you were black” hahhahah thank you for making my day!!!!

one of your best LOVED it:)

DUDE! You totally sounded like Nathan Explosion from Metalocalypse when you do the TRAX officer’s voice. XD

“Oh yeah, live web cam shows, sometimes there’s lesbian shit, its TOTALLY BRUTAL!” – Nathan Expoonsion

Does anybody else think that the ending credits song sounds like a bad BIlly Talent song? Maybe that’s just me.

i dialed 1-800-lat-date and it is a real dating service LOL

Oh man I busted out laughing immediately when Spoony started talking and he didn't even make it to the title screen. Oh man, Spoony/Noah does like the best commentaries ever. I've seen this before, but it has been a long time since I watched it and it was only once.

“Ha Ha Ha….NOW you're working togethe-AHHH” lmfao

Ugh… this has to be the most annoying game I've ever seen. Mainly it's the noisy 3D teleporting head, the obnoxious sound effect it makes every single time, and the computer's goddamn annoying voice. Seriously, imagine if the Borg assimilated Kirk, gave him a female voice, and cranked up the “bullshit” meter to 11 and you've got this chick's voice.

Um… I thought the whole point of the stupid sunglasses-at-night thing was because it had the freaking camera attached to it? Yet neither of these two numbskulls are wearing their frigging sunglasses… so is the camera implanted in their eyes now?

Because to work in a hospital you need to work with quiet, dignity, and grace……… “SOMEBODY GET THE LIGHTS!!!”

I think Agent Snake's been drinking on the job.

Oh man, thirty seconds into this video, and I’m already laughing. Spoony, sir, you are amazing. I love this Let’s Play video.

Has anybody considered at the end, we see they are both not wearing glasses…. and yet the POV thingie is explained with so-called Heads-up Shades…. That they don’t wear!!!

Always love the Clue-styled way you show alternate endings.

How you can say, “I rub em on my gooch” without laughing, I’ll never know

If you ever got your hands on teh 2 TRAX cds that you didn’t do, I would love to hear those as well. This was funny. Great work Spoony

Man I can’t believe I’ve been a Spoony fan for four years. What a great ride it’s been. Love this video particularly.