Terror T.R.A.X. – Track of the Vampire (PC): The Whole Bloody Affair

by Spoony on October 23, 2009 · View Comments

Here’s the complete, uncut version of the episode!

{ 94 comments }

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Taylor October 23, 2009 at 12:03 am: This is AWESOME
Beriorn October 23, 2009 at 12:28 am: Beautiful review overall, it’s just kind of hard to make out what’s happening… but that’s just bad game design. Keep it up!
Terran October 23, 2009 at 1:41 am: Thank you ^_^ Personally I’d rather watch let’s play/rift track-styled reviews in a single long video rather than a bunch of smaller ones. By the way, if Yor is considered the manliest man, Graves has to be amongst the whimpest. Why do you sign up to fight Vampires if you’re just going to freeze up every time someone attacks you?
Sovereign110 October 23, 2009 at 1:48 am: I am Malibu, Vampire Hunter.
The man October 23, 2009 at 1:51 am: Escape from new york/ LA
Awesome music and oteah, great review. I kinda thought you realised the walkin name a little too late, but funny none the less.

Oh and my fave line:

Tell everybody to panic. Do it now!!
MFlorian October 23, 2009 at 2:38 am: “Don’t worry, I didn’t see you”? How did you not go “Ba-dum TISH!”?
LOL'd October 23, 2009 at 3:10 am: “Forget the vampires, this furniture is the real horror”
MFlorian October 23, 2009 at 3:14 am: Wait a minute…in the credits. Special thanks to Kyle Gass? I wonder what hand he played in this.
Chief October 23, 2009 at 3:16 am: Oooh, I’ve never been this early in the comments! :P
Good stuff, Spoony. As usual.
The Shamster October 23, 2009 at 3:36 am: This game could have been fun, but they screwed it up big time with the shonky camera (I know it was meant to be a shoulder mounted camera) and the darkness.

Even if it’s meant to be dark for the story, at least make it visable for us to see what’s going on. Although I think I can understand it being dark with the electric-frankenstin guy, since his very presence shorts out all electric equipment and the backup generators…but the rest of the game should have some LIGHT!

Also, the very bad puns. It really just makes you groan and deliberately get yourself killed/vampirized.

You are a brilliant character Spoony! I’m glad I found this site.
Da Erkka October 23, 2009 at 3:52 am: The black hole? I think you meant The Bhlak Hol!!!
godofplague October 23, 2009 at 3:58 am: They need to bring the Trax back with the gun toting wherewo;ves. But this was a really good lets play.
Did you get your revenge for Twilight?
Eckshale October 23, 2009 at 4:23 am: Want something to bring you a little bit of vampire happiness?
In case you don’t remember or didn’t care, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.
Great game, from a time when vampire hadn’t quite turned into sparkling pussies just yet.
Also quite a bit of bugs that will make you laugh.
Mad Man Mick October 23, 2009 at 5:27 am: God a bacon cigarette sounds awesome
Coresus October 23, 2009 at 6:05 am: Your imitation of Malibu really reminded me of Christian Bale’s Batman voice, which made it even more hilarious xD
Mithian October 23, 2009 at 7:03 am: I love you , , , , and this
YigSnakeDaddy October 23, 2009 at 7:42 am: Spoony, now that there is rule34 on you, you have officially become immortal.
http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/368765
BumBo October 23, 2009 at 7:57 am: Tell everyone to panic DO IT NOW!

hahahahaha! nice. althou some of this is allright but enromous ammounts of it was crap or confusing. thank god i missed this one. Nice vid mr Spoony sir!
Huge October 23, 2009 at 8:26 am: Officer Graves looks like he’s the son of James Hetfield and Gary Busey. Busey obviously being his mother.
SignNinja October 23, 2009 at 8:30 am: Ah I love this series. Did someone up at Wizard really think that a non selling choose your own adventure audio series like Terror TRAX would sell any better if they put video to it? Or even would it do any better? Anyway, not for lack of trying but they really were stretching out. Oh btw for all you fans Track of the Vampire and Track of the Werewolf are free to download straight from the Wizards of the Coast website.
Poipoi October 23, 2009 at 8:35 am: I think Dr Insano popped in for a second to order pizza.
Mr. Saxon October 23, 2009 at 8:38 am: You still spelled BLAGGOLE!!! wrong.
Huge October 23, 2009 at 8:40 am: Also it seems like somebody gave Paul Greengrass the camera.
TigerCakes October 23, 2009 at 8:41 am: This review is not funny.
Tyler October 23, 2009 at 9:38 am: @TigerCakes:
I know, it’s hilarious, right?
Huge October 23, 2009 at 9:40 am: I want a “…And he kicked himself in the head!” T-shirt.
Nasikoman October 23, 2009 at 9:43 am: So is this really all there is to this game? It seems really short. And it seems like it had much too much exposition for its length and the number of things that come up in the game.
Sjuge October 23, 2009 at 10:07 am: Did you notice the credits mention Kyle Gass and the Actor’s Gang? Holy shit!
Saiser October 23, 2009 at 10:56 am: “They cut the power?!? Whaddya mean they cut the power?!? They’re fucking animals, man!”

Was I the only one who just stopped short of yelling, “Ah, shut up Hudson!” at the screen?
coyoterys October 23, 2009 at 11:41 am: You know what’s funny? People today bitch and moan if a game doesn’t offer 10+ hours of game play, and here we have Spoony playing this whole game for us in about 1 hour. :)

If FMV games were released today they’d have to be 10 dvd boxed sets or else the gamers would revolt for feeling ripped-off.
Andy October 23, 2009 at 12:05 pm: What about FMV Hell? This game looks incredibly bad! Oh if only they all could be “Under a Killing Moon”.
e altar October 23, 2009 at 12:08 pm: hey that was nice

on a side note there are 2 movies you should soo check out

moon
law abiding citizen

i think you will like them a lot……..altho the plot twists in moon are a bit too abvious

any way the play throu was cool…… tooo bad the death scenes lack a bit of gore
JT1 October 23, 2009 at 12:23 pm: I still blame Agent Graves’ complete ineffectiveness on those shades. How is he supposed to see the vampires while he’s wearing Stevie Wonder’s darkest sunglasses AT NIGHT? I don’t think T.R.A.X. thought that one through.
Arkadis October 23, 2009 at 12:48 pm: anyone else notice the lady at the desk is the teacher from billy madison?
Archedgar October 23, 2009 at 1:39 pm: Agent Snake was incredibly entertaining.

I find it odd that Dr. Hemos is killed in this one when in the Audio version he is not a hostile vampire. I also find it odd that the second TRAX officer was turned into a woman.

Great video spoony, the TRAX computer sucks, she takes up a lot of the game time and doesn’t do anything other than float around. She should have remained as audio.

More than that, I am surprised that they were able to have the same voice actors for the game as they did for the audio version.
Om NOM NOM! October 23, 2009 at 2:04 pm: Any plans for another “4 schmucks”
Mr. Zer0 October 23, 2009 at 3:12 pm: Not bad but it feels a bit too much of a clip show of your old videos
Better to keep those reference sparse, like you’re peppering a sundae
kazz kai October 23, 2009 at 3:55 pm: Is it just more or does the computer sound like the one from zion mainframe from the animatrix?
cavalier October 23, 2009 at 6:43 pm: Thank you for posting the entire story together.
The Shamster October 23, 2009 at 7:35 pm: I wonder how T.R.A.X would respond if someone deliberately phoned in a prank phone call pretending to be attacked by vampires and instead led the ‘hunters’ to a group of Twilight, Emo/Goth, vampire-wanna-be’s.
Greymarch October 23, 2009 at 8:36 pm: Probably by getting their asses kicked by the emos.
AtlasRedux October 23, 2009 at 9:46 pm: Quote :
Andy October 23, 2009 at 12:05 pm
What about FMV Hell? This game looks incredibly bad! Oh if only they all could be “Under a Killing Moon”.

True … but UAKM wasn’t really ONLY a FMV, it was also a lot 3D-environments to navigate through.
Squall Lee October 24, 2009 at 1:50 am: funny stuff there, funny stuff.

What puzzles me is why they had all that extra crap on themselves like the garlic (which is uneffective unless you’re wearing it around your neck, or doused yourself in garlic cologne) or the crucifix. And while I’m thinking about it; it would’ve been extremely hilarious if the TRAX officers carried around pointy sticks instead of guns, and they went around stabbing vampires in the hearts with them.
Sgt Rob October 24, 2009 at 2:16 am: Anybody else think that the commercial lady doing the Manikin’s voice is hot? No… damnit…
fuzzdaddy October 24, 2009 at 4:23 am: This game looks like it sucks but I’d still play it.
fuzzdaddy October 24, 2009 at 4:25 am: Check it out! http://printfection/t-shirtvillain
KaitoKid October 24, 2009 at 7:36 am: I prefer the original over the uncut.
Joey Mauro October 24, 2009 at 7:38 am: I love how Snake has the same apartment as Jeffrey Dahmer…and why does he have a no shirt and a vest and look like Dog the Bounty Hunter?
Eric October 24, 2009 at 9:16 am: Where did YOU learn to fly??
Fahad October 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm: this wasn’t such a bad story, i guess. The lines were stupid and the gameplay itself was non-existent. Awesome review, tho, sir.