WWE Raw Live Bloggin’

Spoony | Mar 15 2010 | more | 
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* Odds that Cena sells the beating he sustained from half the locker room: 1,000,000 to 1.

* Cole doesn’t manage to get 15 seconds into the broadcast before declaring this to be a “vintage episode of Raw.”

* If you’re ready to be reminded of how much better the Attitude era was than this crap, gimme a “Hell yeah!”

* Sure enough, Cena frolicks all the way to the ring after being killed dead last week with about 8 different finishing moves. Do you see why kids love this guy, and anyone with half a brain hates him? By prancing out like this, he’s completely burying the entire roster.

* Wow, the crowd smells it, too. Cena gets pretty much brutalized by the live crowd when they realize Cena doesn’t hold a candle to Austin’s old greatness.

* Big Show vs. Cena– wait, actual wrestling! QUICK! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!

* The Five Knuckle Shuffle is the stupidest move currently in wrestling. You already knew that, but seriously, piss on that move.

* And Cena no sells Show’s chokeslam. You could shoot this guy with a rocket launcher and he’d still kick out at 2.9.

* Looks like they’re feeding Evan Braun to Sheamus again. Poor guy.

* Actually, Sheamus gets a lot of hate, but I’m really loving his character right now. It’s rare to actually have a non-chickenshit heel monster around nowadays with a fair amount of credibility.

* I miss Jericho ever since he was banned from Raw.

* Dear Kelly: never wrestle again. Ever.

* Jericho vs. HBK is a hard match to book. Shawn needs to kill this guy, since Taker just straight-up murdered four men on Smackdown, but Jericho’s the World Champion, so he can’t.

* Jericho bails and takes the count-out, only to run into Edge. That’ll be a great match at Wrestlemania, but I’m really not feeling this whole “spear, spear, spear” gimmick, trying to turn Edge’s flying hug into some kind of deathblow.

* Oh sweet Christ, it’s Orton vs. HHH again, or as I like to call it: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

* How in the hell is anyone supposed to give a shit about the Legacy triple-threat at Wrestlemania? Everybody involved in that match is a weaselly, conniving prick that the audience wants to see die in a thresher. It might help if they had a single solitary person in that match to cheer for, but Randy, the de facto face, doesn’t seem to feel like it.

* Wow, I wasn’t expecting much from Kofi vs. Batista, but what really set this match alight was the point where Dave got busted open after getting kicked in the face. Dave touches his cut, looks at the blood, and you can just see his expression change to “NO WAY YOU LIVE.” Like, he was being a nice guy until we started doing this kicking-in-the-face bullshit. Batista just goes postal and powerbombs the Jesus out of Kofi. Unusual finish, too, considering how afraid WWE is of having the talent bleed.

* Bret was faking the leg injury. I’m sure there’s a four year old kid somewhere absolutely stunned by this twist.

* Was there a single match in this entire show that didn’t end in a massive clusterfuck run-in from about four other people?

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  • Exp HP

    Hey this is cool. Every now and then, you’re adding to this post!
    Long live Live Bloggin’!

    (end of lame obvious observations)

  • Anonymous

    Tuning just for laughs!!!!

  • Anonymous

    umm… how does this work?

  • Anonymous

    Hey! A whole episode with Austin and no one got stunnered? Instead he shoots about how much he lubs the bidness and how much he lubs Vince and Brett? And every match ended in a run in, when someone wasn’t being fed to someone else. This was terrible. At least TNA is terrible in a hilarious train wreck sort of way, this is just poop.

  • Anonymous

    The closure of tonight’s show was just great.

  • Anonymous

    Forgot to add but batista bleeding BECAUSE of Koffi was just downward hilarious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Phil-Leiper/513463155 Phil Leiper

    WWE Raw. Awwwwwwwwwww yeaaaahhhhhhhhh.

  • Steelia

    Huh… Thtat's new.
    Loving those odds, though.

  • Tron1981

    VINTAGE AUSTIN!!!

    Seriously, they're doing a far better job pushing Wrestlemania this year than they did last year.

    And holy fuck, this episode of Raw has had far more matches than TNA tonight.

  • spacerpg

    Hell yeah!

  • natethedestroyer

    Hell yeah attitude area was far superiour to this sorry excuse for a wrastlin show, an dyeah i know it was like OMG wrestling?! Quick to comercial batman!, and yeah agre about cena , NO jobber can hurt me lol

  • tylerj117

    haven't watched wrestling in a while, hope i see sum tonight. lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Phil-Leiper/513463155 Phil Leiper

    If I could some up the last 18 months of RAW in two words… 'Has Potential'.

  • natethedestroyer

    yeah i hear that noah, and why not save teh “cast reveail” for the nigh tof the match? dosnt that make the whole cerade pointless?

  • notyoursavior78

    I just find it silly that they still got nobody better than Cena to try and sell big.

  • natethedestroyer

    well.. Ric flair is dead.. again.. lol

  • MizuStorm

    OMG! Batista was bleeding, And they finished the match! Granted it was like 10 secs later but still…..oh And HELL YEAH!

  • desertpunk23

    You missed Ric Flair taking a stage spot for The Big E standard blah…….

  • taranaich

    With all the injuries Austin's putting up with, I don't know if he even can do the stunner any more.

    That makes me terribly sad.

  • pheathos

    this is great too if you dont want to bust out the camera. hoping for some impact blogging.

  • http://www.facebook.com/heirofsparda Nate Anderson

    Weird thing is, the crowd's started cheering for Orton now and I don't think that's what the WWE writers wanted.

  • Shygetz

    Vlog or GTFO.

    Seriously, make a vlog about it. It's easy video that keeps me entertained at work, even though I don't care about wrestling.

  • laharl777

    All too true sadly.

  • JoeRamirez

    TNA + Vlog = maximum site visits!

  • iconoclast422

    Batista got busted open the hard way, it definitely wasn't planned. The finish was coming up so he just rolled with it.

  • pheathos

    the ref tried to get batista to get sown up, but batista said fck it.

  • pheathos

    no, brett has the match, so now theres no point in faking it now.

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    While this was a bit of an off-night (and a Stunner-less one at that), it still easily trounced TNA's efforts

  • mwong04

    Has the Spoony Experiment starting to become the The Wrestling Wrage Experiment?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cesar-Garcia/539760754 Cesar Garcia

    Wow… I think that when it gets to the point I actually screamed out loud “why the hell are Shamus and Legacy so long?” on the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! match, I think things can't be that good on WWE's “writting team”.

    Still, the ending was just awesome. And of course, HELL YEAH!

  • DMHitmanfan

    It's really sad when the only people you even care about on the show anymore have all been around for AT LEAST 10 years. The only things worth seeing on RAW tonight were Jericho, Shawn, Bret, and of course Austin.

  • dennett316

    Sheamus is really starting to grow on me. Great look, great moveset, a different kind of voice in a promo really sets him apart…look for HHH to lose at WM.
    As for this Raw….not brilliant, but decent. I expected far more Austin than I actually got, and the screwy finishes were irritating. I'm also REALLY liking the Cena/Batista feud thus far…Batista is in his head and is playing his role to perfection. They need to let Cena sell a little though.

  • chachibouman

    Just like 12 years ago im stuck pushing the recall button on my remote.
    The end of raw Bret decided to wait for Vince to screw himself by acting like he was still injured untill the contract was signed.
    I thought that will happen but at wrestlemania Bret would wait till Vince comes out and than take his cast off beating Vince
    with it. But yeah some who are new to the wwe will probably fall for Brets trick to Vince.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/Neuronin Neuronin

    Waitaminute, Jesus Christ, the “Five Knuckle Shuffle” is just him falling and slapping? That's his fucking super-move? What is he, Dan Hibiki?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Alarie/100000589400441 Ryan Alarie

    Welcome to “how to bait and switch big matches 101″. WWE, being smart, give some solid main event matches away for free, but make sure they serve to hype the PPV, not just be out there. TNA, on the other hand, think that reliving Hogan Vs. Goldberg and giving away their PPV matches on free TV in a desperate attempt to get ratings.

    As for Randy as a face … he's the anti-Cena at this point. He's the heel fans want to cheer instead of the face the fans want to boo. The key with Randy is to hopefully not change him too much … if he actually turns face, like Cena and the Rock, etc … he would lose the fans that are digging him. So they basically have to take the character as is, and just have him fight heels (especially ones that no one is going to cheer like Teddy and Cody) instead of faces, and bam … he's a face now. Heck, Austin and Hart, both on this show, were able to show just how a Randy face turn or Cena heel turn could work. Don't flip the character, just shift it subtlely. They did that with Punk (at first, then they let him cut loose on the mike as an awesome cult leader in full blown heel mode) and it can work again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Alarie/100000589400441 Ryan Alarie

    That seems to be how WWE is handling it now. They aren't so much going with “no blood” but “no blading”. If the blood happens, they roll with it, and arguably, it's much more effective as a result. On the other hand, TNA has taken the one thing they can do that WWEdon't (the nintendo/sega thing doesn't work there) and have had old people bleed everywhere to make a point.

  • Kaylakaze

    I've always had the impression that the Five Knuckle Shuffle was intended as a “humiliation” style move, and never really supposed to be seen as a “damage” move. Same as the People's Elbow. The Rock had the Rock Bottom for his damage finisher and Cena has the FU (I will NOT call it the Attitude Adjustment) and the STFU for submissions.

    I'm glad you commented on RAW 'cause I haven't watched WWE since right before TLC in December. It's good to hear Edge is back.

  • iressivor

    I'm actually a little disappointed with Bret's whole leg injury swerve. As it stands, this really is a huge mismatch. Vince is not a trained wrestler, thus for storyline purposes, he shouldn't be allowed to hold a candle to Bret (or anyone else for that matter). Of course, everyone wants to see Bret just kick the Be-Jesus out of Vince, but I think it would have made better drama for Bret to go into the match somewhat hobbled, and let Vince exploit the injury for a while before building to the finish. In lieu of that, it makes sense that they would go the no-holds-barred route, as it's the only way Vince stands a reasonable chance.

  • theryno665

    Actually, from what I've heard Sheamus is kinda a chicken-shit heel (not that I actually watch enough to know that). Sure, he beats up guys like Evan Bourne, Jamie Noble and…uhhh…Evan Bourne. But when faced with a guy like John Cena or Triple H, he usually attacks them from behind or takes a DQ win/loss. But I don't think that's Sheamus' fault but the lack of forethought to booking. Personally, I think Sheamus could be awesome if built up right but his push was too sudden and too haphazardly booked for anyone to really give a damn.

    But yeah, when I turned on Raw and saw that it was going to be Triple H vs Randy Orton Part Eleventy-Thousand (and they wonder why the ratings aren't any higher when they interchange the same three people in the main events), I pretty much focused on Monkey Shit Flung On A Booking Sheet aka TNA Impact.

    Also, I share the Randy Orton hate. I never got the Orton love around the Internets. He's like the world's least charismatic frat boy/gay porn star (seriously, someone that hairless and that oily can't not be a gay porn star) who walks slower than The Undertaker. I'm half tempted to cheer for Ted and Cody just on the basis that they're not Orton, but Ted is somehow less charismatic than Orton and Cody looks like an American Eagle model with a touch of Down's.

    Seriously, when the highlight of your show is Steve Austin dusting off the “laughing not laughing” bit, that's not a good sign (though I admit that was still pretty hilarious).

    Ryan
    sarcasmatron9000.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    The blind Cena hate is really old hat by now. Bare in mind the guy’s gimmick is in part the fact he is a super devoted, almost superhuman because… well remember when he returned for the Royal Rumble as a surprise entrance a few months a head of schedule? As part of his whole thing he has super human recovery abilities. Can we just get over the Cena stuff by now and accept the fact he’s pretty damn good at what he does. I wouldn’t call myself a fan but I can appreciate that the guy is great at what he does. It was Jim Cornette who called him “this generations version of Ric Flair” a few years ago. Because the guy will keep going, do anything he’s asked, puts asses in seats and has one hell of a firey promo in him.

    As for blood, as far as I remember only Christian and John Cena have received the stop the match they’re bleeding treatment. Undertaker was busted open at a recent PPV and there was not a towel nor medic in sight. Perhaps because he wasn’t going to be getting near the crowd at all. But then again blood =/= wrestling is good (see TNA’s recent blood for bloods sake Impacts).

    I can’t really call anything bar the divas match a “clusterfuck” in the true sense. We had clean finishes and a lot of angles built. As is the want with ‘Mania just two weeks away.

    The ending of RAW was fantastic. Bret sitting there all cocky with the cast on the table was pretty cool. The show was lightyears a head of Impact.

  • natethedestroyer

    oh ok i get it yeah, makes sense

  • natethedestroyer

    MICK FOLEY ON march 15th daily show!

  • Tron1981

    It's not as mis-matched as you think. Bret is far from 100%, thanks to the stroke he had a few years ago, and from the concussion, courtesy of Goldberg, a few years before that. That's why their match at Wrestlemania is a street fight and not a regular match, Hart can't take any major bumps anymore. With that said, I'm concerned over a couple of things with this match. The first would be Bret's health, as one wrong move could severely injury him permanently. The second would be the quality of the match. Both Bret and Vince are more limited at what they can do more now than they were 10 years ago. They're really gonna have to pull something out of their ass to make this entertaining and memorable.

  • illidan4ever

    1) Where the hell do you people get off telling him what to do with his FREE website? Did you catch that? It's free entertainment.

    2) People piss me off.

    3) I actually enjoy reading from time to time, because a) I have a life and know the value of simple things, b) reading increases brain activity, and c) sometimes it's nice just to see the thoughts.

    4) I would have never started watching wrestling again if it weren't for you. It's been probably over ten years now. I don't know if I was just a nieve kid back then or didn't pay attention as much to it, but it wasn't this much of a comedy then, was it? The only serious parts about it now are the few moments of fists flying. None of the story lines even seem convincing. Both Cena and Shawn are going through the same exact thing (mentally) pretty much, and for fuck's sake, do they not learn? If you take your eyes off your opponent, it's clear you'll lose… At least take the damn chance and look at him.

    Great points Spoony. Keep it up.

  • http://thenewyawker.darkbb.com/ Tylarannosaurus Rex

    I'm shocked that someone other than me like Sheamus.

  • sirfellowman

    I didn't know what the five knuckle shuffle was until recently (I had to youtube it – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bOBg4Gvw4c) I haven't watched wrestling since 2002, but Spoony makes this pretty interesting. I noticed some things:
    1- This is a weaker form of the People's Elbow – less running around, less actually hitting someone.
    2- Why are people standing back up from a ground finisher? Does John Cena not hitting someone immediately bound him onto the ring so hard he bounces an opponent to a standing position?
    3- John Cena looks like a total tool in those pant-short-things.

  • Adam_F

    Lol. I actually was a little surprised that Bret was faking the injury because I figured they were using it as an excuse to why he was going to suck in the ring.

  • iressivor

    Oh, I absolutely agree with you! There's no question this match is going to be very carefully choreographed in order to protect Bret. That said, I think it would have been easier to do so if they had stuck with the broken leg angle. But that's just me.

    The bottom line is, no one but Bret himself knows what he's capable of doing in the ring. While I don't expect to see the Hitman of old, as a lifelong Bret Hart fan, I couldn't be more happy for him. After overcoming so much adversity in his life, he truly deserves this moment, and I think he'll be able to put on a good show.

  • Solstafir

    i totally agree with you on that whole “Spear” thing. Edge is alright but really if you compare it to the spears of certain other guys Edge's version looks pretty weak.

  • rudy023

    TNA almost seems more fun to watch than WWE these days. Watching WWE is like watching a bleeding open wound, while TNA is like watching a train wreck with bodies laying everywhere. WWE is just bad, but TNA seems to be trying to be as awful as WCW near the end.

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