The Spoony Experiment - Because bad movies and games deserve to be hurt back!

狐・小百合

Wow spoony, I’ve never seen so many (good) video reviews in a short time. You must really have this impressive headache by now.

狐・小百合

Wow spoony, I’ve never seen so many (good) video reviews in a short time. You must really have this impressive headache by now.

Anonymous

Oh I always wondered when you were going to dig into this cinematic disaster.

Anonymous

Oh I always wondered when you were going to dig into this cinematic disaster.

Anonymous

Now that they compared Blade Runner with the piece of shit! YOU ,SPOONY, MUST DESTROY THIS FILM AND BURY IT WITH THE ET GAMES IN THE DESERT!

Anonymous

Now that they compared Blade Runner with the piece of shit! YOU ,SPOONY, MUST DESTROY THIS FILM AND BURY IT WITH THE ET GAMES IN THE DESERT!

http://twitter.com/rogueofmv rogueofmv

I say we find this “LeHah” guy and string him up by his neck.

Anonymous

Actually, if you read through the entire thread, they have just one, non-ad-hominem point; they’re basically saying that Spoony’s review isn’t funny because he’s parroting out the same old tired things other reviewers have pointed out. Granted, they’re also saying Spoony’s hating the movie for the sake of hating the movie and becoming Internet famous (obviously flawed), but they’re not really saying that Wing Commander the Movie doesn’t suck, it’s just that Spoony’s review is old hat.

http://twitter.com/rogueofmv rogueofmv

I say we find this “LeHah” guy and string him up by his neck.

http://joshuatheanarchist.blogspot.com/ Joshua the Anarchist

This reminds me how long it’s been since I’ve seen Highlander. I should go back and watch it again. And NOT this movie.

Oh, and I actually thought Blade Runner was overrated, but EVEN I WOULDN’T compare it to this travesty!

http://joshuatheanarchist.blogspot.com/ Joshua the Anarchist

This reminds me how long it’s been since I’ve seen Highlander. I should go back and watch it again. And NOT this movie.

Oh, and I actually thought Blade Runner was overrated, but EVEN I WOULDN’T compare it to this travesty!

Anonymous

I love how you included that tool’s post from the CIC forum Spoon-dawg. That was some hilarious shit.

Anonymous

I love how you included that tool’s post from the CIC forum Spoon-dawg. That was some hilarious shit.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Garrett-Aja/860745506 Garrett Aja

I’m pretty much a Highlander virgin, and I had heard the sequel was awful (seeing a DVD called the “Renegade Version” certainly hammered this concept home), but I didn’t even begin to imagine something *this* stupid. Why do I get the feeling that Part 1 doesn’t even get halfway through the film?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Garrett-Aja/860745506 Garrett Aja

I’m pretty much a Highlander virgin, and I had heard the sequel was awful (seeing a DVD called the “Renegade Version” certainly hammered this concept home), but I didn’t even begin to imagine something *this* stupid. Why do I get the feeling that Part 1 doesn’t even get halfway through the film?

Anonymous

Spoony! I have a thought about Highlander2: The Quickening! … It had to be written by the same guy who wrote Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

Anonymous

Spoony! I have a thought about Highlander2: The Quickening! … It had to be written by the same guy who wrote Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

Anonymous

Hey, know how you can get a Scotsman on the roof? Tell him drinks are on the house! Hiyooooooo!

Man, you’re at the top of your game in this video and I’ll totally never make fun of you for having the name you do. Mostly because I often forget your name isn’t actually Spoony.

… wait, how do you have an ark in Arizona?!

Anonymous

Hey, know how you can get a Scotsman on the roof? Tell him drinks are on the house! Hiyooooooo!

Man, you’re at the top of your game in this video and I’ll totally never make fun of you for having the name you do. Mostly because I often forget your name isn’t actually Spoony.

… wait, how do you have an ark in Arizona?!

Anonymous

Spoony! I have a thought about Highlander2: The Quickening! … It had to be written by the same guy who wrote Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

Anonymous

John MacLeod, who was Connor MacLeod’s brother, was typing at his computer…
Anonymous

John MacLeod, who was Connor MacLeod’s brother, was typing at his computer…

Anonymous

Spoony! I have a thought about Highlander2: The Quickening! … It had to be written by the same guy who wrote Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

Iaro

Ok, seriously, that intro had me hiding under the covers for fear of the Madness of Spoony face making another appearance.
(BTW, we want a better valentine.) Still, excellent review!
Also- nice Star Fleet shirt. Have you… had occasion… to rip it yet? /bad Shatnerese

Iaro

Ok, seriously, that intro had me hiding under the covers for fear of the Madness of Spoony face making another appearance.
(BTW, we want a better valentine.) Still, excellent review!
Also- nice Star Fleet shirt. Have you… had occasion… to rip it yet? /bad Shatnerese

Anonymous

Man,you’re crossing off the names on your “worst anything ever” hitlist like crazy. FFVIII,TF2,Wing Commander… You finally sank your teeth into this cinematic abortion,you got the ball rolling on FFX… You better discover something new to rag on,like Pumpkinhead,before you run out. =)

http://twitter.com/DyloniusFunk Dylan Stalnaker

Wait Spoony didn’t like Team Fortress 2? I need to see this vid cause i love that game.
- SenorPwnage
  
  He meant Transformers 2, not Team Fortress 2.

Anonymous

Man,you’re crossing off the names on your “worst anything ever” hitlist like crazy. FFVIII,TF2,Wing Commander… You finally sank your teeth into this cinematic abortion,you got the ball rolling on FFX… You better discover something new to rag on,like Pumpkinhead,before you run out. =)

http://www.foxhack.net/ Foxhack

Dude, you ripped a VHS copy for this?

I could’ve sent you my DVD of this. FOR FREE. TAKE IT.

http://www.foxhack.net/ Foxhack

Dude, you ripped a VHS copy for this?

I could’ve sent you my DVD of this. FOR FREE. TAKE IT.

Anonymous

Great review of one of the most unbelievably crummy movies ever made. And when we’re talking about the Highlander series, that’s saying something! Highlander 2 makes Highlander 4 look like Highlander 3.

Anonymous

Great review of one of the most unbelievably crummy movies ever made. And when we’re talking about the Highlander series, that’s saying something! Highlander 2 makes Highlander 4 look like Highlander 3.

http://www.facebook.com/GhisDeslierres Ghislain Deslierres

For some reason, I kinda expected to see the Terminator coming out of the explosion (you know, like at the end of the first movie?) instead of Connor at the end of the review.

http://www.facebook.com/GhisDeslierres Ghislain Deslierres

For some reason, I kinda expected to see the Terminator coming out of the explosion (you know, like at the end of the first movie?) instead of Connor at the end of the review.

Anonymous

I had only ever seen the first…oh no wait, a guy I was dating 10 years back talked me into seeing the fourth…ugh.

Ahem.

I had only ever seen the first “Highlander” but man, I wasn’t prepared for how dizzyingly stupid this one is. Man, kudos to you for sitting through, and then editing, this one. I can’t wait for the next installment, but I’m gonna need time to recover.

And a bib for the drool.

Anonymous

I had only ever seen the first…oh no wait, a guy I was dating 10 years back talked me into seeing the fourth…ugh.

Ahem.

I had only ever seen the first “Highlander” but man, I wasn’t prepared for how dizzyingly stupid this one is. Man, kudos to you for sitting through, and then editing, this one. I can’t wait for the next installment, but I’m gonna need time to recover.

And a bib for the drool.

Anonymous

Oh dear god, I must’ve repressed this movie. This was the first Highlander movie I saw back when I was a kid. I liked it alot, it had weird scifi stuff and cool special effects. I thought the whole Immortal thing was really awesome. Sure alot of it didn’t quite make sense to my 4th grade brain but I always loved it. When I finally saw the first one I thought it was ok but was confused as hell as to why the continuity was so off. Now I haven’t seen this movie in well over a decade and was happy to write it off as an alternate take on the first movie. While watching this review my eyes almost started bleeding from how horrifically stupid this movie was. Btw I’ve lost all respect for my childhood self for being such a fool.

Anonymous

It’s almost like you watched a whole other movie altogether, huh?

Nostalgic betrayal is one of the reasons why I’m holding off watching the original TMNT cartoon. I’ll let seven year old me enjoy it as is.

Anonymous

Oh dear god, I must’ve repressed this movie. This was the first Highlander movie I saw back when I was a kid. I liked it alot, it had weird scifi stuff and cool special effects. I thought the whole Immortal thing was really awesome. Sure alot of it didn’t quite make sense to my 4th grade brain but I always loved it. When I finally saw the first one I thought it was ok but was confused as hell as to why the continuity was so off. Now I haven’t seen this movie in well over a decade and was happy to write it off as an alternate take on the first movie. While watching this review my eyes almost started bleeding from how horrifically stupid this movie was. Btw I’ve lost all respect for my childhood self for being such a fool.

http://itsumademo.livejournal.com Tri

The General Kitana costume killed me. I was laughing my ass off.

~Sooomewhere over the rainbow.~

New opening sequence… dunno how I feel about that. :( I don’t like change. (But it is cool how you use more footage of yourself in it.)

http://itsumademo.livejournal.com Tri

The General Kitana costume killed me. I was laughing my ass off.

~Sooomewhere over the rainbow.~

New opening sequence… dunno how I feel about that. :( I don’t like change. (But it is cool how you use more footage of yourself in it.)

http://www.spazoutloud.com/ SpazOutLoud

I love the random Starfleet shirt.

I made the same face when I read the Blade Runner comparison.

http://www.spazoutloud.com/ SpazOutLoud

I love the random Starfleet shirt.

I made the same face when I read the Blade Runner comparison.

TimADugan

Everything about this part of the review is awesome, but the ending had me rolling. My God, they compared this movie to Blade Runner? How did anyone think this was a good idea for a movie?

TimADugan

Everything about this part of the review is awesome, but the ending had me rolling. My God, they compared this movie to Blade Runner? How did anyone think this was a good idea for a movie?

Anonymous

SHIT THE EVIL CEO IS DR. COX!!! D:

Anonymous

SHIT THE EVIL CEO IS DR. COX!!! D:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

Hmmm. we finally get a review of the movie Spoony always compares stuff to.

Too many great references to count. NAKED ZOMBIE SEAN CONNERY makes his return from spoony’s 3rd review.

LOL Divide by zero!!!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

Hmmm. we finally get a review of the movie Spoony always compares stuff to.

Too many great references to count. NAKED ZOMBIE SEAN CONNERY makes his return from spoony’s 3rd review.

LOL Divide by zero!!!

Jacen

2 things. The first, I was surprise you didn’t do a Dune joke when Connery said “Free Men” and they are in a desert like planet pretty much wearing Fremen like clothing. And also, I was expecting a T1000 joke when McCloud walked “through the fire and flame” or at least a Dragon force joke

Jacen

2 things. The first, I was surprise you didn’t do a Dune joke when Connery said “Free Men” and they are in a desert like planet pretty much wearing Fremen like clothing. And also, I was expecting a T1000 joke when McCloud walked “through the fire and flame” or at least a Dragon force joke

Anonymous

Y’know, I’ve often wondered what movie they actually intended to make here. If you ever watch the “Renegade Version” (or, more simply, the Director’s Cut), Zeist becomes “The Distant Past” or some such shit. Which, quite frankly, makes EVEN LESS SENSE! But there are filmed dialog scenes supporting both versions of this movie (the Zeist one and the Distant Past one).

Russell Mulcahy has complained over the years that the producers or financial backers or whomever took control of the movie away from him, but, again, what fucking movie was he intending to make in the first place?! He’s admitted that they would find locations around Buenos Aires, and make up scenes for them on the spot. That doesn’t exactly speak well to the amount of planning that went into this enterprise.

All that said, I absolutely love how terrible this movie is. Because it’s so bad, it holds a special place on my shelf….all three different copies of it I own.

Anonymous

Y’know, I’ve often wondered what movie they actually intended to make here. If you ever watch the “Renegade Version” (or, more simply, the Director’s Cut), Zeist becomes “The Distant Past” or some such shit. Which, quite frankly, makes EVEN LESS SENSE! But there are filmed dialog scenes supporting both versions of this movie (the Zeist one and the Distant Past one).

Russell Mulcahy has complained over the years that the producers or financial backers or whomever took control of the movie away from him, but, again, what fucking movie was he intending to make in the first place?! He’s admitted that they would find locations around Buenos Aires, and make up scenes for them on the spot. That doesn’t exactly speak well to the amount of planning that went into this enterprise.

All that said, I absolutely love how terrible this movie is. Because it’s so bad, it holds a special place on my shelf….all three different copies of it I own.

Anonymous

All I have to say is: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME, NOAH!!!

P.S.-As bad as this one is, I still consider ‘The Source’ to be the overall worst film in the franchise, but I find ‘The Quickening’ to be better for review fodder for 2 main reasons: The sheer bat shit insanity of it led to it hurting for a much longer time (also lending to better jokes and commentary) and it cemented the fact that all Highlander sequels will inevitably suck (#3 is the only one that’s passable, but that’s only because it’s almost a carbon copy of the first movie minus Sean Connery and Clancy Brown).

Can’t wait for Part 2!

Anonymous

You’re right. There are no words to describe the crappiness that is Highlander: The Source….
Anonymous

You’re right. There are no words to describe the crappiness that is Highlander: The Source….

Anonymous

All I have to say is: IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME, NOAH!!!

P.S.-As bad as this one is, I still consider ‘The Source’ to be the overall worst film in the franchise, but I find ‘The Quickening’ to be better for review fodder for 2 main reasons: The sheer bat shit insanity of it led to it hurting for a much longer time (also lending to better jokes and commentary) and it cemented the fact that all Highlander sequels will inevitably suck (#3 is the only one that’s passable, but that’s only because it’s almost a carbon copy of the first movie minus Sean Connery and Clancy Brown).

Can’t wait for Part 2!

Anonymous

I remember when I was 10, I actually liked this film, because I was like “Lol people getting their heads chopped off.”

Now I think back, yeah, it’s was clearly written by a committee of goldfish.

Rob: “Hey, Dave, what’s this film called? Highlander?”

Dave: “Yeah, high…what was it again?”

Rob: “We’re writing an Alien film aren’t we?”

Dave: “Yes. Yes we are.”

Anonymous

I remember when I was 10, I actually liked this film, because I was like “Lol people getting their heads chopped off.”

Now I think back, yeah, it’s was clearly written by a committee of goldfish.

Rob: “Hey, Dave, what’s this film called? Highlander?”

Dave: “Yeah, high…what was it again?”

Rob: “We’re writing an Alien film aren’t we?”

Dave: “Yes. Yes we are.”

Anonymous

If i remeber right the quickening is the hole lightning thing that happens after an immortal gets his/her head cut off. so why name a sequal after something that had relevince in the first movie but not this one?

Anonymous

If i remeber right the quickening is the hole lightning thing that happens after an immortal gets his/her head cut off. so why name a sequal after something that had relevince in the first movie but not this one?

Anonymous

I always knew the sun was evil.

Anonymous

To be fair, super mario bros 3 taught us this.
Anonymous

To be fair, super mario bros 3 taught us this.

Anonymous

I always knew the sun was evil.

Anonymous

lol “mccloud is at Bar”

Anonymous

lol “mccloud is at Bar”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Park-Boyer/671233120 Park Boyer

The ending was absolute gold, hahaha. Looking forward to part 2.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Park-Boyer/671233120 Park Boyer

The ending was absolute gold, hahaha. Looking forward to part 2.

Anonymous

The Renegade DVD version of Highlander 2 removes all mention of Zeist and restores some of the scenes cut from the theatrical version.It’s only a marginal improvement however,you can’t really polish a turd.

Ack..i didn’t notice CitizenKiryu post before.I’ll go behead myself now.

Anonymous

The Renegade DVD version of Highlander 2 removes all mention of Zeist and restores some of the scenes cut from the theatrical version.It’s only a marginal improvement however,you can’t really polish a turd.

Ack..i didn’t notice CitizenKiryu post before.I’ll go behead myself now.

Anonymous

I’ve only watched the Renegade Edition and a fan-made Mystery Science Theater 3000 film featuring the original (with a few cuts made here and there): http://www.eskimo.com/~rkj/MST.html .

Anonymous

I’ve only watched the Renegade Edition and a fan-made Mystery Science Theater 3000 film featuring the original (with a few cuts made here and there): http://www.eskimo.com/~rkj/MST.html .

Doctor Who

Wow, I think this just may be the funniest video you’ve ever done (though it may just be that I hate this goddamn movie). Can’t wait for part 2.

Doctor Who

Wow, I think this just may be the funniest video you’ve ever done (though it may just be that I hate this goddamn movie). Can’t wait for part 2.

http://www.facebook.com/wizardofxenia Andrew Michael Brown

“Highlander 2 The Quickening is the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner”

LMFAO

http://www.facebook.com/wizardofxenia Andrew Michael Brown

“Highlander 2 The Quickening is the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner”

LMFAO

http://twitter.com/OlivawTweet Olivaw

Man, I haven’t seen Highlander 2 in years, but even when I watched it I knew it was rock stupid and don’t really remember anything about the plot. As it stands, this review is catching me up on a lot of bullshit. It makes Chronicles of Riddick look like a fantastic sequel. I forgot Michael Ironside was in this, too. Dang.

You know what I DO remember? That awesome airline safety video that Sean Connery watches. That was the one genuinely worthwhile part of the film.

http://twitter.com/OlivawTweet Olivaw

Man, I haven’t seen Highlander 2 in years, but even when I watched it I knew it was rock stupid and don’t really remember anything about the plot. As it stands, this review is catching me up on a lot of bullshit. It makes Chronicles of Riddick look like a fantastic sequel. I forgot Michael Ironside was in this, too. Dang.

You know what I DO remember? That awesome airline safety video that Sean Connery watches. That was the one genuinely worthwhile part of the film.

Anonymous

Your face at the end of this part just about made me laugh myself stupid. Love it!

What’s next? Highlander 3?

Anonymous

Your face at the end of this part just about made me laugh myself stupid. Love it!

What’s next? Highlander 3?

Anonymous

this is pure comedy gold ^_^ and I like the new intro

Anonymous

this is pure comedy gold ^_^ and I like the new intro

http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

Oh….this. I blocked the memory of this a long time ago. Ah, well, let’s get it over with.

BTW, is Dr. Insano from Zeist, too? Because those two birdbrains kind of remind me of him.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

Oh….this. I blocked the memory of this a long time ago. Ah, well, let’s get it over with.

BTW, is Dr. Insano from Zeist, too? Because those two birdbrains kind of remind me of him.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Rushton/1728403471 Jacob Rushton

the reasn he survied the collision with the exploding tank is because he is no longer the only “immortal” on Earth. as for the clothes…they’re made from Jesus Christ’s pubic hair (and one day, you!!!).

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Rushton/1728403471 Jacob Rushton

the reasn he survied the collision with the exploding tank is because he is no longer the only “immortal” on Earth. as for the clothes…they’re made from Jesus Christ’s pubic hair (and one day, you!!!).

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Rushton/1728403471 Jacob Rushton

Holy shit! thats Raiden from the Mortal Kombat movie! you know! the shitty one!

Anonymous

You mean there’s a good Mortal Kombat movie out there somewhere? :D
- http://twitter.com/MegaCDcollector Tim Stoddard
  
  The first one WAS the good one.
  - Anonymous
    
    Yes. And Lambert was the good Raiden. The shitty Raiden was played by James Renard, because Lambert thought the 2nd script sucked.
    
    Which says alot, seeing as how he did THIS movie, Highalnder, 2.
    - Anonymous
      
      He was forced to do this
- Anonymous
  
  You best be trolling,boy. The first MK movie is the only videogame movie worth watching.
  - Anonymous
    
    I beg to differ. The Street Fighter Animated Movie is a video game movie worth watching to me.
  - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=859910045 Anonymous
    
    Maybe if you have A.D.D. AND no standards.
    - Anonymous
      
      Did your parents beat you as a child or something? Because if you can’t appreciate the glorious manly awesomeness that is the first MK movie,I have to seriously question the amount of testosterone flowing through your veins.
Anonymous

You mean there’s a good Mortal Kombat movie out there somewhere? :D
http://twitter.com/MegaCDcollector Tim Stoddard

Yes, shitty. But at least he didn’t puss out of a fight and said he’ll pray for his friends.
Anonymous

You got that backwards, compadre. Christopher Lambert played Raiden in the GOOD Mortal Kombat movie. The first one. Some jackoff named James Renard played him in the SHITTY SEQUEL.

A failure is you.
- Anonymous
  
  Just realized I misinterpreted Jacob’s first post there slightly. How silly of me… :D
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=859910045 Anonymous
  
  The failure is you for saying the first one was good. “Better than the sequal” does not equal “good” by a long shot.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Rushton/1728403471 Jacob Rushton

Holy shit! thats Raiden from the Mortal Kombat movie! you know! the shitty one!

Anonymous

I love the new intro Spoony!

Who knew the insano family were from Zeist?

http://twitter.com/MegaCDcollector Tim Stoddard

“Highlander 2: The Quickening is the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner.”

BULLSHIT! BULL.FUCKING.SHIT!

dennett316

I remember loving this film as a kid, my god I was a fucking idiot back then. this entire movie must just be a colossal joke on behalf of the studio, there’s no way a studio could actually seriously consider this a releasable film.

Random trivia – Christopher Lambart almost lost his thumb during the fight scene with the two chuckleheads at the start. Imagine THIS being the movie you were permanently disfigured for……

Looking forward to part 2

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jorma-Syrja/100000466420967 Jorma Syrjä

“CHAANGE, YOU GOT ANY CHAANGE AARRAGGHH”

oh my god that was brilliant :D

http://twitter.com/Professoriii Iherdu LiekMudkipz

You are really sensitive about lighting in videos? You keep going back to it and apologizing about it and I never notice anything.

Anonymous

seeing you chew on the movie reminded me when i was ranting one time on the actual movie Pumpkinhead Blood Wings. oooo lord that one pissed me off. i’ll be honest i never watched these movies but i had always heard of highlander jokes and such. cool to see more info on it as well as you going crazy. :)

http://www.facebook.com/people/Danny-Harris/100000130008135 Danny Harris

that reminds me I need to actually sit down and watch the first Highlander movie….and ONLY the first Highlander movie. Because according to rotten tomatoes Highlander 3: End game is only slightly better than Highlander 2: the Quickening by about 3%

which is sad because Highlander 2 has the dreaded 00%

which brings up a good question, are you going to review Highlander 3 too?

http://www.facebook.com/dimitrios.papadimitriou1 Dimitrios Papadimitriou

The ending is great

Anonymous

A more realistic idea is that their planetary shield corporation got them so much money that they expanded into other businesses, so they became like Walmart only with a giant planetary shield corporation. And that’s where the price gouging exists.

The rest are just unforgivable.

PS: maybe its just me, but the ship they meet on looks like a trashed Firefly ship.

Anonymous

Unless they’ve completely taken over all of those other markets, then they’re not really a monopoly. But if they do have a monopoly in multiple markets, then they’re not so much a monopoly as they are the centralized controller of a significant portion of the entire economy.

Anonymous

looks more like the evil twin of balderunner to me :)
great review Spoony!

Anonymous

“Highlander 2″ is one of those strange, incompetently-written movies that simultaneously makes me think that I could make it as a writer while convincing me I could never make it as a writer:

I could succeed because I would never write anything this aggressively stupid.
I couldn’t succeed because I would never write anything this aggressively stupid.

Anonymous

sweet new intro!!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=762977523 Anonymous

Hey during the composite shot, starting at 12:38 you can see a jeep come twords the camera, then back away from the camera, as if the footage is reversed – was that in the original or did Spoony do it?

Anonymous

I’m guessing Spoony did, to make the narration fit the footage. If not, well, god bless those filmmakers and their little sippy cups and tard helmets.

Anonymous

and in highlander 3 no one loses a word of zeist again XD
what where they thinking ? XD
who made highlander 2 at all ? O_o
sure not the same one who made highlander 1 and 3 ^-^

http://twitter.com/rolflobker Rolf Lobker

Actually it’s the same producer (Russell Mulcahy ) for 1 and 2. Highlander 3 has a different producer. They all have different writers.
What they were thinking was that they wanted to make a sequel and needed a story. Yes, it’s crappy and yes, it’s one of the worst films of all time. But you also have to remember that this should be reviewed more like an alpha version of the movie whereas the Renegade Version is like RC1 ;-)

http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

Somehow I’m guessing Highlander 2 doesn’t have an awesome Queen soundtrack… Since the ruined everything, they probably got Air Supply instead.

Anonymous

Ah, Highlander. I vaguely remember loving the TV series as a kid, but in retrospect that was probably just the combination of that kick ass Queen song and my little girl crush on Adrian Paul. Glad I never saw the movies. Does Macleod have a French accent there? That’s just weird.

I think I’m going to watch the series again. I’m already destroying my childhood memories by watching Sliders again (hint: it’s not as awesome as you remember) so I guess I can take on Highlander as well.

Guest

Christophe(r) Lambert has a naturally-unchangeable French accent. That’s probably why they paired him up with Sean Connery.
- Anonymous
  
  Highlander: the French alien from Zeist!
  
  …
  
  Yeah, I can see why people don’t like this movie. Damn.

http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

Ah, such a great change of pace from the schmit sammich I was served last night. Dr. Insano may be ruined for me for all time!

Anonymous

Don’t be a douche, Nostalgia Critic. Take it like a man.

Anonymous

Ha! Just checked out the forum that told Spoony to burn for having a poster of Highlander II. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear about five posters there (which includes the admin, I think) were doing tongue-in-cheek Comic Book Guy impersonations.

Anonymous

I checked out the same forum as well and man…I’d love to have a life so good that I could be so bitter over something so trivial and bitch about it (at least in every other post…and his signature) in rhyming couplets.

http://twitter.com/Nash076 Nash Bozard

The thing to remember about the first Highlander was that while it was a really fun film, it wasn’t in terms of plot or acting a particularly GOOD film. It has its moments, but it’s not one of the best. (Seriously, go back and pay attention to the sound every object makes when swung around, anything from an ancient katana blade to a pipe. It’s hilarious.) Where it truly shined was in terms of direction and cinematography. The look and feel of both really influenced a generation of filmmakers to follow because it was really innovative. Nice bit of trivia: the way they shot the final duel between MacLeod and the Kurgan? They kicked the camera back and forth across the floor. Simple solution that produced a really wonderful visual.

Highlander 2, on the other hand . . . any and all of the charm of the first one was just ruined. Not just in terms of story, but in terms of presentation. The signature “look and feel” of the first one was gone. Pay attention to the shots in Spoony’s review; the whole thing comes off as a really pedestrian effort, something anyone who worked on the thing should be ashamed to be associated with.

Just because you’re working with little to no budget doesn’t mean you have license not to give a crap. You do the best with what you got . . . otherwise you’re just wasting everyone’s time.

http://twitter.com/rolflobker Rolf Lobker

They actually had a big budget and even went over it. The movie isn’t finished. The studio’s insurance company stepped in and took the whole project over.

Claim

Holly smoke ! i thought this movie never existed ! Why are you doing this to yourself, you crazy man !

Anonymous

But Noah, you’ll have to let 2 dickweeds on your ark to ensure the future existence of dickweeds for the re-population of the planet.

Anonymous

Oh I love Bar, I usually have Sandwich and Drink before going to City and see Opera XD

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Beyer/8221329 Daniel Beyer

nice mst3k comment

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106444075 Zach Foster

Great review, lots of fun. This might have been asked, but theres an 8-Bit Song soundbed during the first segment, wondering what it was? Man what a weird sequel to a great movie.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Beyer/8221329 Daniel Beyer

Wow, fuck the guy who said you should die in a car fire. What a bastard…

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Beyer/8221329 Daniel Beyer

I forgot to ask, WHERE’S YOUR ARK! HAH! I’m sorry, please let me on your ark

http://www.facebook.com/WiseDuck André Romsi

Hahaha! The error message at the end made me laugh out loud. I haven’t done that in a while now, thanks! Awesome review!

http://www.facebook.com/anthony.harper2 Anthony Harper

That was great, I can’t wait for part 2. Seriously though how do you make a movie that’s worse than all the animated episodes combined that’s amazing

Anonymous

Hey Spoony! Great video. God what a piece of crap that movie is. I’m a unapologeticfan of the first movie and the TV series. I just like to pretend this one never happened, to me it’s “non-cannon”.

What’s your opinion on the tv series?

Anonymous

Katana sitting on the couch watching wizard of oz made me laugh so hard Noah. A smashing review.

Anonymous

My dad loved the first one he doesn’t know of any of the sequels exist which is for the best it seems.
I think the sequel makes more sense if you’ve never seen the original but not by much i mean aliens just leave the immortality shit vague no one would really care as long as heads are chopped off.

Anonymous

highlander 1 and 2 always take me back to being about 10 years old. still love the first movie to this day but the second was awful and i was always expecting you to review it sooner or later and you didn’t dissapoint! great stuff

Anonymous

I like the new openings you’ve been doing lately. Next one should have footage from Kickassia

http://www.facebook.com/mathew.presley Mathew Presley

I remember seeing the second movie and thinking it was the third, because a load of stuff is established in the first five minutes that wasn’t mentioned at all in the first movie. God this film sucked. And Spoony pointing out all the ways it sucked is very satisfying. Though when you mentioned the redundant new broadcast, I thought you were going to mention the weather forecast, which even admitted it had been the same since the shield went up. The woman who attacked him at the start was a former weather forecaster, apparently. Also, who else went ‘Holy shit! It’s Dr. Cox!’ when watching this?

http://www.facebook.com/cjhitchcock Chris Hitchcock

I can’t say thank you enough for reviewing this movie. If any movie in the history of mankind deserve to be reviewed its this crap-tasic movie. I look forward to part two.

Anonymous

I had to pause it whenJar-Jar flashed up on screen I was laughing so fucking hard. Spooney ROCKS, hopefully he lets me on his ark.

http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

Something tells me your chances of getting on the ark increase if your female, and is factored by your hotness quotient. Maybe cool people like Sir Sean Connery have a sliver of a chance =p.

And thank you to Spoony for bringing this one to my attention. I’ve almost watched it a few times on netflix. That could have been horrific.

http://twitter.com/poetsandrebels poetsandrebels

In my opinion this might be one of your funniest reviews. Keep ‘em coming, Spoony One!

Anonymous

I’m geniuninly surprised you didn’t mention the Quickenings from FF12 seeing as they are named the same and makes just about as much sense in how it works.

http://warpedtree.blogspot.com/ CornBRED-X

Didnt you review this already in text form? Ah-well still good anyway.

I liked the new opening on that, btw.

Anonymous

Why review a movie that doesn’t exist? It’s double CRAZY!

Anonymous

Maybe I’m asking too much but could you at least try not to get political in some of these videos. Between this and the Benzai video, its been kind of bothersome. Just a minor complaint.

As for Highlander 2, I could write a thesis on what is wrong with this movie. You are spot on. This movie is a disgrace to the series. Granted, after the first their shouldn’t even be a series but still. I’m glad your tackling this one, but you would have to dedicate the website to explaining everything that is wrong with Highlander 2.

Anonymous

I agree. I come to TSE and TGWTG to get away from everyday crap. Politics will instantly turn me off.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Alden/100000469737019 Christopher Alden
  
  Did I miss something? What politics?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Bob-Walsh/100000396472034 Bob Walsh

Well, to be fair it wasn’t a political rant, and more of just a little joke. Now the Benzai video on the other hand, THAT was an irritating rant. I honestly couldn’t finish the video after Benzai went on this bizzare rambling about Conan’s sword somehow symbolizing atheism. Most sword-forging scenes are there to show us resolve of the character making it, and how the sword itself symbolizes it’s maker. Forging scenes, or indeed any scenes where we see a character painstakingly craft something is usually done to show us the qualities of the maker being reflected in his creation, that it’s being made for a purpose, and shows the resolve of the character by showing just what legnths he is going through to craft instruments for his goals. The most recent example would be the opening scenes of Iron Man 2, where we see Whiplash going through the long and tiresome task of building his arc light suit, it shows his resolve to destroy his enemy, to put this weapon to good use, and the long task of it all reflects just how serious he is. Conan’s sword was to symbolize the strength and resolve of Conan himself.

Apparantly Benzai thinks the sword-forging scene in Conan was to show “hitting religion with a hammer”. That takes some serious projection of your own bigotries and a whole ordeal of other mental gymnastics to come up with something like THAT.

But I digress, I too am going on a long rant, and Spoony did not. He made a little joke, I don’t have a problem with it.

Great stuff, Spoony. Here’s waiting for Part 2!

http://twitter.com/epox1 epox

I don’t like the new opening!

I watched this movie about three times and it’s not so bad if you think of it as a standalone movie and you just turn your brain off.

All in all looking forward to the next part(s).

Anonymous

You can’t watch a SEQUEL to one of the movies that gathered almost a cult around it as stanalone… EVER!

By the same logic Star Wars Ep1 wasn’t THAT bad if you block out the “youknowwho”
- http://twitter.com/epox1 epox
  
  Sure I can!
  
  Well maybe it’s just because I never really care too much about a movie or a series (well maybe the original Star Trek). Heck, I don’t even care about all the drama that comes from the fanboys/hatters.
  
  Also SW Ep.1 was enjoyable, Ep.2 was shit, Ep.3 was semi shit.
Anonymous

You trolling?…Actually, I kind of agree. I watched this as a kid too. It was awesome in a Rambo sequel sort of way. They fall, break bones, go through all sorts of shit, then don’t die. It’s mindless fun that will rot your brain once you try actually thinking about the stupid, stupid plot holes. With that said, this review is shaping up to be another defining moment for Spoony. Can’t wait for the next part, or if he dares, FFX. The worst he could do is a vlog, and I don’t really mind those either. ^_^
- http://twitter.com/epox1 epox
  
  No I’m not trolling. It’s just that it’s not that bad of a movie (there are much much worse movies out there) and as long as you don’t care about all the stupid shit that goes on it is rather enjoyable.
Poipoi

Thats the problem with your logic, this is not suppose to be a standalone movie. It was suppose to be connected to the first movie, even if fans want to pretend its not. Thinking of it as such is merely another form of denial.

Though I do agree, its not as bad as people make it out. I’ve seen worse movies.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Arnold/100000374809410 Chris Arnold

5:56

lolhealthcare

Anonymous

I feel quite proud knowing I live in Glencoe, where these films were made :)

Anonymous

Spoony, why are you reviewing a movie that doesn’t exist? Just kidding of course, but you SHOULD point out that this movie was so godawful that it was the first franchise film to get decanonized not just by the fans, but by the producers and its very presence put the penny on the tracks that caused the train wreck that was the Highlander film continuity. Highlander 3 has nothing to do with Highlander 2, Highlander: Endgame has nothing to do with Highlander 3 and Highlander: The Source has nothing to do with anything. I hope Spoony that you’ll review the other Highlander sequels, perhaps give us a quick rundown of the Series before getting to Endgame. It’ll help avoid such nagging questions like “Why are there so many Immortals running around all of a sudden?”, “What the hell is the dude from Wiseguy doing there and why does he know so much about Immortals?”, “Why is Connor not the hero and why is he acting so out of character?”, “Who’s this Duncan asshole, I paid to see Connor goddammit” (hint: think Fabio with a sword), and “Who’s this Methos jagoff?”

http://twitter.com/theMcKrista Krista McLaughlin

i don’t have to watch this movie now that you’re reviewing it. thanks! c:

liking that opening sequence. also, can i get on your ark..?

Anonymous

Rowsdower!

http://www.facebook.com/vchiucchi Vincent Chiucchi

This feels like one of those sequels that you only see on Sci-Fi or straight to DVD that have absolutely nothing to do with the original movie.

As for that corporate monopoly, when it comes to corporations building the shields to block out the sun, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1143553858 Paul McKenzie

I think the best thing to do with this sequel is to pretend it doesnt exist. I love the highlander series, but as far as Im concerned, there was no highlander 2-not that the others were that good either, but atleast they werent this bad. As is said in the review, this movie just completely ruins the ideas that are established in the first one. A total and utter waste of film. Your review, however, was not a waste of film and was excellent as usual

http://twitter.com/DyloniusFunk Dylan Stalnaker

Spoony i think Noah is an epic name that exudes charisma and manliness. So can i come on your life saving arc when the world ends now please :)

Anonymous

I guess Noah will bring two of every spoon onto his ark.. and possibly two sporks since they are semi-related. Then he can have experiments with them all afterwards. Or something.

But anyway.. great video here. Loved all the stuff you pointed out only 12 minutes into the movie, haha.

http://twitter.com/dividebyxero John Wilkes

Awesome new intro. The audio quality is a lot better in this intro too. “How do you but fuck an entire series in 12 minutes!!?!” hahahaa I love that line!

http://fireproalliance.proboards.com/ Desertpunk23

lmao i never knew this movie was that bad, i avoided it for years.

Madpotator

Why would the makers of Highlander 2 totally disregard the first film? That is some horrible film making.

Anonymous

“Why would the makers of Highlander 2 totally disregard the first film?”If they didn’t, there would be no sequel, obviously.

Anonymous

NOOOO not Dr. Cox!!!!!!

Anonymous

You know i am a huge Fan of highlander…well all but one of them That’s Right highlander 2 God why did they ever make it like that…i could think of fantasy reasons or such to why they could be immortal…but aliens…Omg …the only thing though i disagree with is you forgot some thing spoony …the reason he mastered the flying board Thing Is becuase well he cut off the guy’s head you Gain all there knowledge Experience and stuff like that ….the age thing still confused me Dude suck if you keep killing and keep getting younger turn in to a baby again O.O

Poipoi

It would suck worse if he was stuck as a wheezy old man when he became immortal again.

Anonymous

Hold on, you have an ark, let me on please! I mean the polar ice caps are going to melt, soooooo I DON’T WANNA DIEE!!

http://www.facebook.com/nille.paulson Nils Paulson

It's the same guy whe made the first one, Russell Mulcahy. How could he fuck it up so bad!?

Poipoi

Oh yeah… I loved this movie because it was just a rape of the first storyline. Don't get me wrong, I Loved the first movie. It was fine the way it was. IT didn't need a sequel. Yet, when this came to theaters I still ran to see it. Just the fact its story is so retarded, its kinda funny.

Ramirez is the highlight of this movie. I watch it again just to see Ramirez in the future. You have to admit, his second death is kinda stupid but at the same time quite an exit. I thought it had style.

Plus, its funny to watch the villain have a duh moment when Conner spells out how stupid his plan was. Yeah, he could have just sat back and let Conner die of old age but instead he really gave Conner back all his youth and energy.

Oh and they tried to edit this once to fix the problems but the whole space alien thing was such a lost cause all they did was make it more confusing. Really, does the storyline get much better after they pretend this movie never happened? No, it doesn't.

Poipoi

Its amazing, its like they gave him brain damage before the filming started.

http://twitter.com/RinguPingu Love Arvidsson

O.O you divided by zero! OH SHI-!!

http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

I mean… I believed you when you said it was bad, but… ALIENS? Granted I've only seen the Highlander TV series, but even I know that's bullshit. Also your expression at the end of the video was priceless.

witheringsanity

Yeah! Spoony's back!! woooooooo!

KevinSutton

You've got fertile ground to work with in Highlander 2, but I think you've still just about outdone yourself.

Thinking about the movie in abstract, I wonder if it could have been a passable spin-off just by using a the same two actors and the same fantasy/sci-fi plot without the fake Highlander tie-in. Seeing the movie in detail it's obvious that no; it couldn't.

http://twitter.com/EpicCardboard Epic Cardboard

… he never left.

leeonheart

I believe the director's cut aka “Renegade Version” solve most(not all) of the problems in Spoony's part 1 review:
- the entire beginning have been altered. The shield launch sequence appears later as a minor flashback.

- There is no more Planet Zeist.. it's replaced with :” A long time ago…” which suggest they're humans from the past with some technology(something in the line of BSG)

- most of Connor MacLeod's cheesy voice overs are gone.

- some campy scenes and dialogues have either been altered or deleted.

- more references to the 1st movie.

- anything to do with the Quickening is totally gone.

- General Katana and the flying Insano brothers travels through time and not through space.

- no more floating(and glowing) MacLeod at the end. The ending show MacLeod and Louise kissing and the scene pans up to the skies.

…and ton of other changes.

The alterations does make a bad movie into an average one(still far from good but a least tolerable this time)

destro10

The financial backers interfered .

Ithilgore

Hmm….this movie is not very good.

afbee

Man, I loved this movie!

mediawolf

I have to admit — This is my guilty pleasure.
But it's because I've watched highlander 2 before 1.

And yeah. Even in this case it doesn't make much sense, it's a good movie to kill braincells C:

Pluuuus — Awesome move with that “division by zero” error :) (Altho… Explorer.exe?)

http://www.facebook.com/people/Lisa-Fisk/1066089255 Lisa Fisk

OH GOD!! I got only seven minutes in and my head exploded! And now my room looks like I went to a Gallagher Show.

Seven more minutes and several rolls of scotch tape later I am ready to brave the rest of the review.

http://twitter.com/daremusik daremusik

HAHAHAAAAa

“I am talking about my penis”

after “ashes to ashes, dust to dust, what you dont use is going to rust” quote by General Katana

Spoony removed my other comment.. Booooo. Dr Insano has learned how to control his original master

Salenstormwing

Nope, but I'm still of the opinion that every other Highlander movie after the first just never existed, even the one that was based on the TV show. The one that I actually saw in the theater even. Nope, none of it ever happened. It was all a mass hallucination. Because no one would be that stupid to make a sequel(s) that were that horribly conceived and written based on the original source material.

The TV show was okay, but you could sort of pretend that the end of the first movie hadn't happened at that point. But the movies… Nope, never existed. And if they ever did make a Highlander 2, it would have to be a Sci-fi action film as good as… oh… uh… I don't know… Blade Runner.

fatalrob0t

Oh God… Notoriously stupid is right. I hate this movie so much. I'll take Endgame. At least that has people in it I liked and worked reasonably well with the television series. METHOS~<3

witheringsanity

huh?? where have you been? did you not notice him doing tons of shows from a hotel room?? they weren't nearly as good as the stuff he does at home, hence my excitement that he's back… in his home… doing proper episodes.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Raizoku/710678347 Matthew Raizoku

I found the whole ark in the backyard funny! =D

http://twitter.com/daremusik daremusik

Spoony you spoonjew, they are IMMORTAL on the planet they come from. You pick on insignificant things too much in this movie instead of focusing on what you’re good at the gaping wide right-in-front-of-you script problems

(btw im jewish and a fan too so i can say that nanaaa)

https://me.yahoo.com/a/eWMp0qRin9gt6kUlxUBXmdmxFqQ-#0b67f TapamN

I’m only 4 minutes in, but, oh, thank god. You aren’t stretching out 4:3 material to 16:9.

Anonymous

2:07-that is extreme to wish death on someone who has a poster of a bad movie. Even if they do have bad taste.
3:46- global warming in 1999?! Geez, I missed that alternative time line. The future may not be that extrme and it probably to survive due to the carbon dioxide preventing heat and maybe uv rays from getting through while retaining the current heat it has.
3:57- better take a picture of it.
5:04- maybe they should have blocked out part of the uv rays that get to the planet. Maybe he should have tapped into the mind of my ecology teacher. He would tell him what he should have done.
6:16- Maybe they bought the government. dum dum ddduuuummm!
8:05- bromance!
12:30-New record!
12:44- Looks like split screen action.
14:00- he broke the fourth wall to warn the movie watchers to stop.
16:32- I hope he didn’t waste all his ammo on the hobo.

tython

This is one film that should have never have been made, what was the studios thinking? the first film was good enough why was a sequel needed? At least the Renegade version/Special edition they tried to fix things so that it fits better into the Highlander cannon but it is still not enough to fix the slop that was this film I hate to think what the Spoony one thought of the Third one.

jade_Knight

Spoony's face at the end is priceless, I lol'd hard, great review so far, can't wait for part 2!

sifer2

Yeah what is up with Aliens always knowing Earth TV an Movie references an sayings? Is our culture that much more entertaining that they all watch an study it?

http://twitter.com/Deimos1984ad Zak Mahmud

“Best sequel since Blade Runner”

O_O

You fuggin serious movie?

allessander

Hurry up with part 2, we're all waiting on it!

joluoto

Ok, need to comment this:
First: Highlander II, the original cut is a horrific piece of crap, one of the worst cases of studio meddling ever. They booted of the creators of the original movie and made up some piece of shit. The Director's Cut have removed all that Zeist bullshit and replaced it with the Time after Time (wtf that is supposed to mean), and basically have Ramirez and McLeod sent back in time to live their life from the beginning (indicating that they're born again in the past, explaining why McLeod know nothing about immortality, of course neither of this make any sense, but it's better than Zeist).
And if you think tht kiss in the original cut is horrific, in the Director's Cut they acctuallly have a quickie there on the street right after the stooges are killed (yes, the original directors made the girl even more of a slut than the studio people). All in all the Original Cut is a horrific piece of shit, while the Director's Cut just barely save it an makes it just another bad sequel. I think the problem here was the very idea of making a sequel to Highlander, since it had a definite ending.

Highlander III is also quite bad, but somewhat better, since it makes a little more sense, being a prequel to the first Highlander. Highlander IV is even worse then Highlander II (ok, the original cut of Highlander II is still worse, but I dare say Highlander IV is a complete disaster).

zxqv8

About 8:25…you can see the jump pad they use to fling people up and forward for those explosion scenes you see so often in movies. I'm surprised Spoony didn't comment on it when it happened.

I guess they spent all their money on bad writing and poor special effects and couldn't afford to have the movie screened for little errors like this.

Sergeant_Shrapnel

Is it just me, or was the intro, like… different? It seems longer, but… not. I dunno.

FouCapitan

Out of curiosity I tracked down this LeHah guy and that post saying Spoony should die in a car fire for his Highlander 2 poster, and my God the people on the Wing Commander CIC cater to a large amount of tight assed fun haters.

Or it was just a half dozen people on that forum who don't like webshows and wanted to vent their frustrations on one of the more popular ones around. Either way, lame reaction from them.

http://twitter.com/Wyatt_F James wilks

what was even worse than Highlander IV was the Highlander cartoon series that aired in the 90's that followed Conner and Ramirez on the planet Ziest. The “story” was Ramirez teaching Conner how to fight with a sword to defeat the other immortals, that means that Conner was immortal long before he ever went to earth and that Ramirez knew who Conner very well before they got (as spoony called) married!

theherald1

You forgot the anime!

theherald1

I remember the cartoon, it wasn't on the planet Zeist it was on a post-apocalyptic Earth.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-H-Renault/1091324215 Matthew H Renault

Your the shit man. I like the way you go after the most stupidest movies I have ever seen. If you write a f**cking scrpit. Do your f**king homework or there wouldn't be shitty movies. Like the Highlander 2 make's no god damn sense, but o well. What can you do when you have ppl writing movie scripts while they are wacking off. The blood goes to there head have a brain tumbor. Not an Idea. I f**king Brain tumbor. I feel ya man and I better get on your ark when the world goes to shit. lol I still have to watch the part 2. I wouldn't watch this movie again, but with you in the background giving it shit. Is just makes the movie better

http://twitter.com/KennethTanRZ Kenneth Tan

Now I know which movie Spoony was referring to during his SWAT 4 playthrough, the 'Sean Connery film that must not be mentioned.' It's this one!

(Did you know that this film got a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes? Its even lower than Battlefield Earth! I didn't even think that was possible!)

Srjoben

Something just clicked. Durning the bit where Connery and the Highlander get 'married,' Connery says something about a bond that's stronger than death…that must have been in some way intended to explain Connery's subsequent resurrection. Of course besides being totally lame and not a real explanation at all, it's gets totally lost because I only noticed it on my second time through this review!

oMrHarris

1 good thing about this film….. we get to hear Sean Connory's sexy voice

jetman123

Dear god. So this is why people hate this movie so much. You're right, spoony – they managed to butt-fuck an entire series in under 30 minutes. That's incredible.

Uberman5000

Haha, that forum post about The Spoony One at 2:02. “You're no one I ever want to break bread with”? Quoting the second Conan the Barbarian book from 1933 (“Yeah, I read it before it was cool”) like a sacred credo? For someone that accuses Spoony of “suck[ing] all the joy out of everything in the guise of an intellectual argument”, he seems to have that technique down pat.

jetman123

Humans indeed are horrible at practicing what they preach.

That and the guy's likely barely even taken a glance at Spoony, so convinced is he that every internet reviewer is stupid because they jump on the bandwagon.

jetman123

The worst crime of this movie is not using Sean Connery and said sexy voice well. :D

jetman123

It's mainly because most writers are human. We just don't think about cultural references that refer to Earth, because we (well, most of us ;) have never left it. It's an easy trap for a writer to fall into.

For instance, in comics, people usually think of Superman as a human with super powers, but he's not a human, and he doesn't really have SUPERpowers. He's stronger and faster than any human and has special powers – but they're natural functions of his own race. Making people “normal” should not affect him, because he _is_ normal. (See Linkara's review of Act of God for what I'm referring to.)

A mark of a good writer in any medium is writing aliens like they're actually aliens – with different patterns of thought, thinking of themselves as the normal ones with US as the weird ones to them.

Unfortunately good writing is lost upon this film.

jetman123

You may get your wish. They're remaking Highlander, hopefully with no Quickening involved.

13secondspastmidnight

… I have a tiny little question. Yes, I understand that this movie makes as much sense as a schizophrenic (disorganised schizophrenia with ongoing psychosis) on acid, but why, if Katana sent them to earth 500 years ago is he only NOW trying to kill McCloud. And WHY? I mean if he hadn't gone back by then (and how, what did they have a spaceship?) then why would he….

Oh god. Why is THAT the plot hole I'm picking up.

WHY IS HIGHLANDER FROM FUCKING SPACE!!!! WHAT WERE THEY ON WHEN THEY WROTE THIS SHIT!! YES I AM USING CAPITALS FOR EMPHASIS DESPITE HOW ANNOYING IT IS BECAUSE THIS IS JUST THAT BAD!!

I feel tainted. This is what I felt like after being exposed to twenty minutes of Twilight. I showered for hours BUT THE STENCH WOULDN'T COME OFF!!!

http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

HAHAHAHA, wow, this is awesome. i'm dying here XD

taranaich

You seem a bit confused there, chief: that's a quote from “The Scarlet Citadel,” a Conan *story* published in 1932, which didn't appear in books until 1946's “Skull-Face and others.” Howard only wrote one Conan novel, the rest are short stories or novellas.

Nevertheless, your point stands. Shame on that guy.

Uberman5000

I dunno, I just Googled the quote and that came up first. I was never really into Conan.

taranaich

Heh, so I guess the quotations around “Yeah, I read it before it was cool” are intended to be tongue-in-cheek? :P

Uberman5000

Yes, I was pretending to be the fellow in the forum with the intent to mock him.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505682534 Leon J Kennedy

OH……MY…….GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're killing me here!! So freakin funny!!!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505682534 Leon J Kennedy

Fuse Box #1!! lol

http://www.facebook.com/people/Titinho-Seducao/100000578888200 Titinho Sedução

The original script explained very clearly why Connor and Ramirez were immortal on Earth when they were sentenced.

JUDGE : “I sentence you to exile from Zeist. You will be transported to the planet Earth. Each of you to a different time and place. There to be reborn. Once you have grown to the age you are now, time itself will take on a new meaning for you. One year on Earth is like one day on our planet. So on Earth you will be immortal. Furthermore, your memory of this planet and your lives here will be gone. Until the time of the Gathering.

For years, we have sent men to Earth, scattered throughout their history.
Men like you who have no place here in Zeist. They will find you. And
Try to kill you. You will fight each other down through the centuries. In
Our traditional way with this (he holds up a sword).

The only realize from your Earthly immortality will come if your head
is cut off from your body. And when one of you is finally the last of us
on Earth, he will claim the Prize. He will have the choice to growing old
and dying on Earth, or returning to Zeist.”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Mattias-Granlund/100000618693819 Mattias Granlund

well kinda covers the whole alien thing…but what about thing like the holy ground thing?

Plus in my mind the alien thing is still goofy, I liket it better as being some mystical, magic force on Earth.

http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EINBAPPCAEOHMXJOYWLRB27UMY Harrison

Thanks for the explanation. I was wondering that if they were all banished to Earth why the hell the Clancy Brown character was a bad guy? Oh, amnesia. Otherwise think about it, if they were rebels on Ziest fighting for the same cause then why would they bother turning against each other? It'd have to be that either this is a punishment they'd use more than once (which would eliminate the purpose of the gathering, unless there was an inventory they were keeping throughout of how many they banished and were waiting for the right number to have the gathering) or they lost their memory, which would kind of make sense that they would grow up and some of them would flip their wit due to being raised by a savage culture. Still though, the sentencing itself doesn't make much sense. Who would want to go back to where all their enemies are? And it doesn't make sense that they're immortal. “One year on Earth is like a day on our planet.” Wouldn't that, just by the math, make you age very, very slowly? Plus it doesn't explain why they could only die by decapitation, nor explain why Connery knows all about immortality in the first movie if his memory was gone too. It's not like they could google it.It also doesn't justify the many other plot holes Sponnyone points out.
Lastly, the actual explanation kindly provided by you (thanks again) is an example of the lazy, easy and not well thought out writing of this creatively bankrupt movie.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Titinho-Seducao/100000578888200 Titinho Sedução

In unused scenes, it is explained that the Kurgan from the first film was also a resident of the dreaded planet Zeist, hired by General Katana to kill Connor MacLeod. The final battle between MacLeod and the Kurgan from the 1986 film is shown on a large screen to Zeist bettors, and when the Kurgan fails, Katana sends down the two assassins featured in the final cut of the film to take out MacLeod.

http://www.facebook.com/people/IZero-Gravityi/100000964325731 IZero Gravityi

I hope I'm allowed on your arc spoon lol.

rewind83709

I remember i saw this movie with my family as a kid, and kinda liking it.
Then years later, i re-watched, and it made NO sense at all.
Just another piece of shit.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Kholladi-Ezagouri/1609710012 Adam Kholladi-Ezagouri

WHY DO I OWN THIS MOVIE??? WHYYYYYY???

I'm gonna be very unpopular here but I didn't even like the first film! I would go as far to call the first one A FILM though which is more than I can say about this abomination.

They toast TO MAGIC! AAAAAAAH!!!

atypicaloracle

You know, all these years later, I'm still bothered that a French guy with a rather thick French accent plays a Scottish Highlander while a Scottish guy with a Scottish accent so thick you can paint a fence with it plays an Egyptian masquerading as a Spaniard. The less said about the sequels, the better.

http://twitter.com/dxmagma dylen shirley

HOW WERE WE SUPPOSE TO KNOW!? WERE ONLY SCIENTISTS NOT FORTUNE TELLERS!”

yep i'm visiting this site regularly.

http://twitter.com/will2k123 MASTER OF TIME

Wait….

Where IS your arc?

http://www.facebook.com/cupcakedinorawr101 Chelsea Maldonado

I am a bit confused does the environmental collapse and subsequent solar shield blockade thingy have any baring on the actual plot after the first 12 mins?

http://www.facebook.com/cupcakedinorawr101 Chelsea Maldonado

I am a bit confused does the environmental collapse and subsequent solar shield blockade thingy have any baring on the actual plot after the first 12 mins?

http://www.facebook.com/daniel.nick Daniel Nick

Why did I not notice this sooner…? Team Fortress 2, where the demoman says “THERE CAN BE ONLY OOONE!” … Highlander. I never… huh. I guess it’s just been so long since I’ve seen any of the movies I forgot a whole lot. Watching this will sure be a treat for me :D

Anonymous

Silly.. of course it doesn’t. Any sense of a cohesive plot went out the window after the opening credits rolled.

http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Harryrisk-Hetfield/100000551262921 James Harryrisk Hetfield

can i come in the ark :) lol dude very confusing film :L

Anonymous

his backyard

http://www.facebook.com/people/Pat-Closson/100000304267651 Pat Closson

This is the only Highlander I have never actually seen, and it’s funny how the back story setup in this crappy movie gets completely forgotten about. I wonder what the film makers of the quickening thought of their movie when they came down off their high?

http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

This movie should have never existed. The first one left no hint of a sequel. This movie MADE NO FUCKING SENSE! That is why I consider this and all the other sequels non-canon and redundant.

Anonymous

Well, clearly it is the smartest sci fi film since Blader Runner and we’re all just too dumb to see that.

Great review Spoony!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Lawrence/100000759810182 Andrew Lawrence

Ramirez was right in the first film…….THERE SHOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN ONE!!!!!!

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_KQZM4I3JX6F27LT4EM2Y27IFMU Corey

im guessing what happened is they got a kids fanfic mixed up with the actual script and this crap came out instead of a guy from the highlands he is an alien from another planet with how you look at it a kickass punishment of living on a more lively planet that is not a crappy deasert wasteland. but this next movie shoudlve been about how this whole immortality gathering thing began and why certain people are immortal.

Anonymous

My twin brother genuinely loves this movie and thinks it’s better than both Highlander 1 and 3. My thought is that everyone is entitled to their opinion. However his opinion is wrong.

http://www.facebook.com/KnattyDreadnok Knatty Dreadnok

The ending of this review was cake! LOL!!!!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Simeon-Ivanov/100000521101770 Simeon Ivanov

“… If you don’t take it out and use, it’ll rust” I’m talking about my penis … aren’t I? xDDDDD!!!! King Spoony, this review is among the best, a pure masterpiece, bravo!!! (And you are right … the is the worst Sci-Fi, no, this is probably the worst movie ever …)

http://www.facebook.com/Kurokun1293 Roger Smith

“Smartest Sci-Fi Thriller since Blade Runner”

Schwarzenegger: BOLLSHIT.

Anonymous

Seriously, what kind of hallusinogenic substances they were using while filming Highlander II ? Either that, or else the writers (I do mean all for of them) and director were totally lobotomized before even starting with the whole project. I’d really like to know which one of options I’ve mentioned is closer…

http://www.facebook.com/people/Markis-Cook/100001061983415 Markis Cook

I will say, Noah, your commentaries are quite hilarious.

http://www.facebook.com/nathana21 Nathan Allen

we could combine vampires with highlander and have an all out battle to see who will be the immortal. Granted, the vampires would need chest armor and the highlander would need a head plate. But it would be as “epic” as highlander and makes about as much sense.

http://www.facebook.com/nathana21 Nathan Allen

we could combine vampires with highlander and have an all out battle to see who will be the immortal. Granted, the vampires would need chest armor and the highlander would need a head plate. But it would be as “epic” as highlander and makes about as much sense.

http://www.facebook.com/nathana21 Nathan Allen

we could combine vampires with highlander and have an all out battle to see who will be the immortal. Granted, the vampires would need chest armor and the highlander would need a head plate. But it would be as “epic” as highlander and makes about as much sense.

http://www.facebook.com/nathana21 Nathan Allen

we could combine vampires with highlander and have an all out battle to see who will be the immortal. Granted, the vampires would need chest armor and the highlander would need a head plate. But it would be as “epic” as highlander and makes about as much sense.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MTFZ3MDRIRICR5ZFNUEEKECX7E Steve

They should have realized that hiring Dr. Cox as the CEO for the shield company was a BAD IDEA.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GYBBN5KRWSJTGZB7QOEYV7BBSU John

That movie is fucking retarded

Anonymous

Is that an 8-bit rendition of “Goonies ‘R Good Enough” playing in the background towards the beginning?

Vader the White

After some research, yes, it is an 8-bit rendition of “Goonies ‘R Good Enough” from the title screen of the NES game, “The Goonies II.” Yes, “The Goonies II”.

Anonymous

Is that an 8-bit rendition of “Goonies ‘R Good Enough” playing in the background towards the beginning?

Ruiner

I love the relaxed composure of the news anchor saying “Good morning today’s top story is the ozone layer, it continues to disintegrate taking with it our protection from the sun’s rays.”like it is some minor inconvenience akin to a traffic jam. I can only imagine how he would report a zombie apocalypse. “Good Morning today’s top story zombies continue to decimate the human population reports indicate that over 90% of the human population is now dead or the walking dead. This story and more in the following hour, but first lets go to Paula Dean’s kitchen to learn how to jazz up your turkey for this Thanksgiving. Take it away Paula…. wait a second, Paula stop eating the audience. Paula that is certainly not very professional.”

Ruiner

I love the relaxed composure of the news anchor saying “Good morning today’s top story is the ozone layer, it continues to disintegrate taking with it our protection from the sun’s rays.”like it is some minor inconvenience akin to a traffic jam. I can only imagine how he would report a zombie apocalypse. “Good Morning today’s top story zombies continue to decimate the human population reports indicate that over 90% of the human population is now dead or the walking dead. This story and more in the following hour, but first lets go to Paula Dean’s kitchen to learn how to jazz up your turkey for this Thanksgiving. Take it away Paula…. wait a second, Paula stop eating the audience. Paula that is certainly not very professional.”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

What the hell? I thought return to house on haunted hill was bad…this is just WORSE.
Oh Sean Connery….what hath you done? wait….gay… oh god….

Anonymous

Wow. I’m surprised someone with all the fu**ed upedness that happened to this promising series that someone hasn’t decided to completely discount EVERYTHING after the first movie and make a new one basing everything on IT and not the cartoon, live action show or other movies, ONLY the first movie.

Anonymous

The problem with that is twofold:

1: They *did* make such a movie. It was called Highlander 3. It was alright, but nothing special.

2: Making sequels to the Highlander movie itself is a priori stupid because “There can be only one.” The movie ended on about as final a note as it is possible to end on. The only way Highlander 3 got around that was by having an immortal “die” in such a way that he kept being dead for a time, but could be resurrected after the end of the first movie.

No, the real question is why is it that nobody has just made a Highlander reboot. Hell, reboots are en vogue now. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lucas said, “I’m rebooting Star Wars.”

I’d be scared shitless, but not surprised.
- Anonymous
  
  I’ll be honest, I never saw any of the Highlander movies and that includes the first one, but I know that the only one that gets real love and is considered a classic while I’ve heard enough fans tell me that almost anything else is well “ASSic” Superman Returns ignored two films in 3 and 4 so a retcon or reboot isn’t completely out of the question.
  
  DON’T SAY REBOOT STAR WARS!! You know Lucas will do it. We’ll have Naboo and Jar Jar mentions in the OT and Yoda showing Luke how to use a lightsaber in Empire. The Battle of Hoth will look like the Battle of Geonosis with endless crap flying around. As Christopher Walken would say: “It’s CRAZY!”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Titinho-Seducao/100000578888200 Titinho Sedução

The original script explained very clearly why Connor and Ramirez were immortal on Earth when they were sentenced.

JUDGE : “I sentence you to exile from Zeist. You will be transported to the planet Earth. Each of you to a different time and place. There to be reborn. Once you have grown to the age you are now, time itself will take on a new meaning for you. One year on Earth is like one day on our planet. So on Earth you will be immortal. Furthermore, your memory of this planet and your lives here will be gone. Until the time of the Gathering.

For years, we have sent men to Earth, scattered throughout their history.
Men like you who have no place here in Zeist. They will find you. And
Try to kill you. You will fight each other down through the centuries. In
Our traditional way with this (he holds up a sword).

The only realize from your Earthly immortality will come if your head
is cut off from your body. And when one of you is finally the last of us
on Earth, he will claim the Prize. He will have the choice to growing old
and dying on Earth, or returning to Zeist.”

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001767804677 Skyler Munz

Now that I know the original script the rest of the movie makes 1% more sense.