Will MacLeod and Ramirez defeat the nefarious General Katana, bring down the planetary shield, and return as conquering heroes to Zeist?
Does anyone still care?
I have never seen a movie destroy a franchise this quickly, and I saw Indy 4
you should check the japanese anime movie, i heard that one was good
Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is the name of the anime movie, it is pretty good you really should check it out.
The part where Connery is summoning all his life force to lift a fan was a bit painful to watch. The guy was James Bond for christsake.
You know, on second though, he probably spent most of his energy summoning “life force” for those bond girls.
There was nothing wrong with the TV show in my opinion. Sure it had its corny episodes and was odd at points but until the last few seasons it had some really compelling writing and characters. Yes, Amanda was a tad annoying and the spin-off featuring her was poor…But the TV show itself was if not good then at least entertaining. Adrian Paul played a mean swordsmen and the fights were pretty damn well choreographed. Add to that the logical questions such as what would a child immortal be like and in the end it wasn’t bad at all.
The cartoon and End Game and the rest of the post-tv series movies…Yes they were awful.
Ah, the kid immortal. I remember that glorious little bastard who did what he had to to survive.
I too enjoyed the series for exploring those types of things.
I actually kind of like Highlander 3. I’m in the it was ok camp, which compared to Highlander 2, makes it a masterpiece. The TV show had its moments. Its kind of hard to have an episodic television series which promises that their will be only one and that doesn’t happen. Highlander: End Game only works if you consider it an else world story. I never did see the cartoon series you speak of but it makes me question how many MacLoud’s are immortals? Is it just the entire family? You are right though, nothing compares to the original. And with Remake-mania running wild, brother, you know there will be another.
NEVER a good sign when one of the main characters starts pointing out plot holes. Oh, and does anybody else find Drew from the 7-11 ad that precedes this video pretty fucking creepy?
Snark humor at it’s best… thankfully I never bothered to watch this. The tv show just never held my interest and I’ve been blissfully ignorant of the rest.
Spoony, with this review, you have accomplished something…. glorious. :D
Oh god, this movie really is the worst piece of film i think i ever heard of … Thanks for making us not having to watch it to realise its suckness, spoony one !
As I was watching the end scene there at the end of the video, I could imagine the scene afterward being of Connor MacLeod waking up with a start and realizing that everything he experienced was just a dream. I’m not sure if that would make the movie better or worse, though.
I say we should start a meme where we refer to various things as “The smartest sci fi thriller since Blade Runner”.
Why anyone still questions McLeod’s ability to pull swords out of his ass is beyond me. Anyone’s who’s seen him pull a katana out of a towel in a sauna will agree.
In retrospect, the only reason I liked the TV series as a kid was probably because of that kickass Queen song. It’s the same reason I kept watching TMNT and Power Rangers and Thundercats after the opening credits. So don’t cry, Spoony. At least we’ll always have Freddie Mercury screaming about being a prince of the universe from the top of his lungs. No crappy movie can take that away.
Yeah, just saw the first part today and this is really great. I liked the Cox joke xD
To be fair to the TV series, it actually started out fairly promising. Its just went on too long and started to bring in way too much bullshit. The Watchers I could live with because at least it brought in a cool character. Although the show had turned to shit long before, the whole Dark Quickening bullshit and killing off Richie for no real reason (as the character had grown a bit and become much less annoying) was really stupid. Endgame however was terrible. “Hey lets kill off the one character who this entire franchise has been about and make the character no one has liked for years the hero”. As for The Raven…The less said about that series the better. I liked the character of Amanda in the series, but she never had the potential for her own spin-off.
Well as I’m Scottish and lived here for 23 years I’d like to say that yes we have 24/7 bagpipe music, might explain why I want to go fucking homicidal!
Myself I got this movie like 6-7 years ago, watched it once, never again…
Yep, I’m Scottish too but I actually like bagpipe music..at funerals or weddings etc. When appropriate, I mean.
It isn’t like Disneyworld here, we don’t have little speakers in every pine tree and thistle patch playing “O Flower of Scotland”!
Just in all the cheesy tourist shops. I love the rock version of the Gael (aka the Last of the Moheican’s soundtrack). Powerchords and bagpipes…blagh.
Bagpipes are really fricken awesome….in small doses and appropriate times of course. Glad to know theres more than a few fellow Scots kicking around on here.
bring the pain gets a whole new image
Want to see something funny though? Watch a bunch of Highlander episodes with a history major, watching the inaccuracies and Duncan’s piss poor attitude towards all cultures he doesn’t think are worthy enough will make their head explode.
No, watching history majors pick apart a cheesy 80s show will make my head explode :-p
But seriously, it’s true. History fail.
sometimes the fail comes so fast, all they can do is whimper :P
McCloud’s holding a katana on his last fight with Katana.. :P Look!
Great video, Spoony. Love the Dr. Cox jokes.
Man, what a turd of a movie. Somehow I thought that maybe I was too hard on it when I was young, and re-watching it as an adult would reveal it as much better, with the sci-fi stuff fitting in perfectly. Thank you for this review, so I can see how wrong I was, and now never have to watch it again.
That last part in your video. Is… is that the original ending?!
It’s the infamous Fairytale Ending. Shown only (according to Wikipedia) in some European theaters, but never in the US. Also, the original Finnish (not the Renegade Version) VHS release features this ending. I have no knowledge whether it is in the other European versions, but I have my suspicions of them being very much the same as the Finnish one.
That ending makes my eyes bleed.
You totally forgot to mention the Highlander anime! Now, that is some crazy shit. Also, Sean Connery looks much hotter then Christopher Lambert in this movie. Oddly though in that clip of Highlander: Endgame Christopher Lambert looked much better then he did in this movie.
The thing about Highlander is it had a really cool core concept, but it was always better inside your own head than anything they actually did on screen.
I do still enjoy watching the TV series, though mostly to chuckle that the early nineties-ness of it all.
I don’t think the TV Series was too bad, as long as you didn’t try and place it in the same continuity of the films.
Sadly, they did. :(
The TV Show was probably the most enjoyable to watch of all the media of Highlander that came after the original movie. Sure, it wasn’t exactly the most sophisticated show, but we are talking about a show that is about immortals who run around the world dueling one another with swords till one gets beheaded. And it totally never mentioned Zeist, which was probably the most gawd awful thing to be written in a film script.
So hammy, yeah, cheesy, maybe a bit, but we it was light years above any of the OTHER things mentioned. I mean, if you’re going to pick your poison, you might as well take the one that’s the least painful to swallow.
Now, to have the ultimate Spoony duel… General Katana on the couch Vs… TERL! I don’t know why I want to see those two fight, but I do. Or Terl Vs. Spider Dr. Smith (& his legion of spiiiiiiiders).
Yep, like the others said, the anime kicks ass ! It’s called “The Search for Vengeance”. It’s much like the first movie with pereodic flashbacks. I think it’s by the same guys who did Ninja Scroll and the more recent version of Vampire Hunter D, if you liked those you should be pleased.
In this anime we acctually see what happens if an immortal starts running wild on a holy ground, totally worth checking out !
Yeah but it pretty much as fuck all to do with the Highlander mythos.
It uses the mythos to tell a brand new story, so it doesnt piss on the orignal but takes the concepts and works with them.
Awesome review Mr. Spoonman. Your Dr Cox impression was quite funny. I have a soft spot for the TV Series since it was one of my father’s favorite shows and he’s since passed away. It had some really good episodes and Adrian Paul did a good job as the next generation Highlander. I allways wished they had done more episodes with Darius. I would have liked to have seen more scenes from ancient time.
Whoever did that cover of “Princes of the universe” was god awful. Seriously, it sounded like the singer was bored out of his gord and wanted to be anywhere but there. I get it’s not easy trying to cover Queen, i mean there was only one Freedie, but at least put in a little effort.
Wait Spooney!!!! You forgot about ONE….There was an ANIME movie about Highlander. This one about a McCloud as well. It was Highlander the Search for Vengeance!!!!!Don’t forgot the GAME that was supposed to come out based on Highlander!
My god that was stupid. Thank you for dismantling this movie, not that it doesn’t already do that itself.
On a side note, Ramirez actually mentions The Quickening in the first movie when he’s training McLeod in the Highlands.
So does the ozone layer magically come back? Wasn’t the whole point of the shield to protect people from the uv rays of the sun so they didn’t burn up? Is all of that just forgotten?
Indeed it should be mentioned more often so you would take note – how could you, in all your research, remain oblivious to Highlander: The Search for Vengeance?
To be honest, I think that it’s ok at best but I also thought that the original Highlander was an ok movie, so check it out, you might just like it.
Good review Man
What was the end credits Song ???
The Song is called “Princes of the Universe” It was made famous by Queen but another band did a cover for it in the movie “Highlander:The Source”
wow i never thought a movie with raiden from mortal kombat James bond dr cox and two dr insanos could suck so hard
I assume you didnt mention the one off anime which I found to be enjoyable as an alternative story with simliar characters since it didnt suck balls.
Why is the “Scottish” tailor English? I know we have a ton of Sassenach people living here but I would expect in a film based on the Highlands with many nods to Scottish culture that they could have maybe worked out what accent the actor should have. I wonder if Sean Connery said anything on set. Doubt it, he was probably crying in the corner and waiting for the cheque!
Very nice review indeed. I also very much enjoyed the Dr.Cox jokes. Too bad the actor (… whatever his name is, I really should know, or ave at least the decency to look it up) was in so many shitty movies before he played Cox. Even though he was in the Rock, and that movie… Rocks.
One thing that I wondered a bit about: Why did you make the “You don’t fuck with Sam Fisher even if he wears a strange wig” comment? Is the villain’s actor the american voiceactor of Sam?
Yep, Michael Ironside is the voice behind Sam Fisher….
To be fair at least the Cartoon made sense, I think, I haven’t watched it since I was a kid. It was a different story based on the same franchise, but I think it actually made sense if I recall.
Indeed. Immortals finding a way to transfer the quickening without having their heads removed (which was still an option, provided it was “off-screen”) was actually a fair idea. The anime, to me, felt too in love with the violence and I had trouble getting through it.
I liked the first few seasons of the TV show, although why they killed of Duncan’s girlfriend and made Ritchie an immortal I don’t understand. I never saw The Raven, but I have yet to hear anything positive about it.
I understand the ending was a joke to make fun of the spinoffs of the series, but the tv series (the first one, not The Raven…) was really great in my opinion. Just ignore the movie and keep only the core (There can be only one, beheading people, taking their powers/memories, etc) when you watch it and it’s a really enjoyable show. Or at least it was when I watched it like 15 years ago.
Virginia Madsen should strike this movie from her Filmography,lol
Though I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned the Highlander Anime to you called “Highlander:Search for Vengence” In my opinion it was kinda decent and also If you didn’t already know there’s talks of a Remake to the First Highlander film in the works and in it MacLeod is going to be played by the actor who played Poseidon in the Percy Jackson movie instead of Christopher Lambert. (Lambert might make a Cameo in it, who knows.)
Oh. My. God!!!
That alternate ending was absolutely dreadful in EVERY conceivable way. I actually didn’t think it’d be possible to make this movie any worse….but there’s the proof.
The TV series was terrible…simply terrible. I remember the lead character had this irritating little sidekick who died in one episode, only to be revealed as an immortal himself. I think the lead character was horrified at having to spend eternity with this little asshole. It’s like in Battlestar Galactica where they could just pull the “he/she was a cylon ALL ALONG” out of their asses any time they felt like it, “Oh, that’s right, this guy was totally an immortal too….and him, and her!!” Drivel.
And I want some of whatever the execs were smoking when they came up with a kids cartoon show based around the idea of decapitating, sword-fighting immortals and Queen songs.
But Richie’s immortality came on the heels of the main girlfriend getting offed.
The series didn’t get horrible until the later parts, when red demon shit started taking over people’s minds.
Yeah but that came far into series. Despite being mostly a villain of the day vehicle, the TV series had some great moments, particularly with Fitzcarin, Joe, and Meethos.
Nice review man. Although, I’ve never seen the first Highlander…but I could never have guessed that when people said “Highlander II killed the franchise”, that they could turn a fantasy action film…into a sci-fi film. That’s like…no, who does that?
Is Dr. Cox from Scrubs in this movie?
Edit: Nevermind, I really should watch your movies all the way through before I say anything that you would eventually reference.
i could sit and listen to you rant for hours. thank you for putting yourself through so much for us hahaa.
about the review, thanks again. this doesn’t look like something i’d want to watch, and now i don’t have to. c:
There’s also an anime adaption of it aside from the cartoon…
Wow. I had heard the TV series was really good. I was gonna check it out at some point.
In some ways, Highlander is like Wolverine. Everyone said they wanted to see the mysterious origin, but once they gave us one, it sucked, and now everyone pretty much agrees it would’ve been better left a mystery.
The TV series isn’t so bad, if you don’t expect too much of it. If you’re expecting goofy early 90s camp, you’ll be pleasantly surprised, I think. If on the other hand you’re expecting a layered story with consistently deep and thoughtful character arcs… well, not so much. I’d say give it a go. Just watch it for the fights, the intro and the handful of cool characters they had. (Being a woman helps too.)
I remember the highlander TV show (the first one) being pretty good. But then again I was really young at the time so story and acting prowess was irrelevant.
Oh and I think its awesome you mentioned Sam Fisher. Was wondering if you were going to. Bravo! haha
Ok, just to point out more Blade Runner stuff in the movie. You mencioned the sky being red outside and then not being red when looked throught a window, same thing happens in the first version of Blade Runner, the sky has a color in some scenes and has a diferent color in others. I think in the fight with Roy Batty you can notice this fairly easy
Gonna do Chronicles of Riddick next? I can’t even watch Pitch Black because it makes me hear the word “Furian” in my head, over and over…
Yeah that was a messed up sequel. Only thing I liked about that film is how they switched it up an had Riddick trying to out run the Sun instead of out run the Darkness. That was actually clever.
Whats wrong with The Animated Series of Hilander? I always thought it was pretty good especially when one considers they had to conform it to children’s standards (meaning can’t show the heads rolling).
Even without that, I thought it was a fine show. With cable or what you can get away with online, you can do so much more visually, and even story-telling.
There there Spoony. Just pretend that they don’t exist, like me and live happily ever after in a delusional world were such travesties can never hurt us again. Oh wait you’ve got a poster of it up on your wall… Die in a car fire!!!
Great review :)
I need to see more of that cartoon Highlander.
In a lot of ways, the first movie also seems crazy. Flashbacks, new age nonsense, and a concept that may have been written on a cocktail napkin by a drunk man. But it had internal consistency and people were able to cram in a lot of cool fun things. This movie, and the third lacked lacked the former and blatantly copied the latter. They’re entertaining enough if your 12-14, but when your familiar with the first they’re just terrible.
I enjoyed Endgame. I sat down and watched Highlander and then Engame back to back and, it actually works as a sequel and makes more sense than Highlander 2 or 3. Atleast they kept it simple and enjoyable. So there!!
I enjoyed Endgame. I sat down and watched Highlander and then Engame back to back and, it actually works as a sequel and makes more sense than Highlander 2 or 3. Atleast they kept it simple and enjoyable. The next one after that, whatever the hell it was called, was crap.
This movie should be called Highlander 2: Quick Running with Blades
You know, if Zeistians become immortal on Earth, why don’t the Zeistians invade and take over Earth? Nothing short of beheading can kill them (they can’t even be killed by explosions, which tends to splatter humans into a billion pieces). I’d imagine not having to die would be of great appeal for the ruling clas.
If I wrote a Highlander 2, I think I would maybe have the Immortal Cycle began anew (i.e.: after Connor dies of old age, new Immortals start popping up, so the prize can be won by a new generation of Immortals)
Sounds ok, but in reality you still would’ve had to write Lambert and Connory into the movie somehow. How would you have done that?
It’s not a nice equation, I know, but I don’t think making a sequel without Lambert as a star was an option at the time.
Why would they want Earth? It’s not very nice. Maybe they’ve been taking over planets for ages, since apparently you can see habitable planets from Earth. They must be everywhere. Maybe that’s what those rebels were doing, fighting the invading Zeistians, although…
No. You know, what, just no. This movie doesn’t deserve my feeble attempts at logic.
Maybe McCloud is mentoring the new generation of immortals as he is nearing the end of his life. Ramirez is taking the role of a spirit adviser inside McCloud’s head (an avatar of the gift), telling him how this whole new immortal cycle is supposed to work.
Because you get to not die. If you have advanced technology and unlimited time, you could probably spruce things up eventually.
They would be the ultimate suicide bomber…
PAHAHAHAHAHA That ending slays me! MacLeod is a WIZARD!!!
You know seeing Dr. Cox just get completely owned for being a smart ass ALMOST makes this movie worth it.
But yeah you know its bad when even the script writer or somebody had the girl just tearing the plot premise to pieces an Mcloud just giggling at it an saying yeah something like that.
I enjoyed Endgame. I sat down and watched Highlander and then Engame back to back and, it actually works as a sequel and makes more sense than Highlander 2 or 3. Atleast they kept it simple and enjoyable. The next one after that, whatever that movie was called, was just crap.
Anime had one of the best ways to kill an immortal, and an mortal did it… Putting a grenade inside a mouth…
I haven’t even SEEN Highlander (I know, I know, blasphemy – I’m getting to it) and I already HATE this sequel. Sequels are not meant to override EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID IN THE ORIGINAL. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.
I love your review, though.
What the hell just happened in the end of that movie…did I step into a Disney movie…WTF???
You were killing me with the Dr Cox jokes, this was hilarious but the movie….BAAAD!!!
The cartoon has the added infamy of having a video game made for it that was an exclusive on the Atari Jaguar CD, and its only notable point is that it apparently has a flash frame of a naked woman in it at some point.
Is it just me, or is Spoony getting better and better?
It’s not just you.
The ending was epic when you showed the clips from the other movies/tv shows.
You ever see the anime movie they released a couple years ago?
I guess that wasn’t great either!
MacLeod: “See that little star next to the moon?”
Me: WHICH ONE, YOU MORON??!
As always- great review, shitty movie. I had no idea there were so many Highlander spinoffs, though! Hope that never happens to my pet fandom… *shiver*
The one he was pointing at, which she’d have seen from her POV. Out of the many, many faults of that ending, line of sight isn’t one of them.
Oops! My point was that there are a bunch of little stars, but I see what you mean. Thanks!
Hey the CEO is Bob from Office Space
Hey, wasn’t there a Highlander anime, too? I don’t recall that sucking too much, but I don’t really remember anything about it.
As I tell anyone who is thinking about getting into Highlander, don’t try to put all the movies and television shows together. It will never make sense if you do that. Enjoy them as separate stories, though each being something of an Alternate universe to the others. I still love the cartoon a great deal. I love the television series with Duncan MacLeod up until the last season where he went totally emo and dropped the sword gig. I love Amanda, but I couldn’t take her series long thanks to the idiot there you showed from The Raven. The first movie was good, but I don’t like Connor MacLeod that much. Really, the only one I truly love is the series and that’s mostly because of Dawson and Methos. Methos was one of the best characters in that series. The cartoon I liked because it took a different take on it and Quentin I would love to mess with his goofy hair.
What I really don’t get (among many things with this movie) is how Ramirez got his sword back when he came back to life. His katana made by Masamune is the one that Mcleod is using throughout all the present-day fight sword fight scenes in Highlander 1. So how does Ramirez get it back? Mcleod would have still had it! Damn, this movie sucks!
Uhhh….the Quickening did it. Somehow.
Touche, Dennett. (I’m the person you replied to)
I have a question if it was “built to last forever” or “indestructible” why would they need anyone to maintain it. And if they don’t need anyone to maintain it what is stopping the world from, I don’t know killing those in charge of it so they don’t have to pay anyone for it?! Its like they just accept these people as their lord and master and give them all their money out of thanks for saving the planet but hate their guts cause there is no more sun!? It makes no sense if they were fed up with those in charge why not revolt against them? It is not like they would have the balls to use a self-destruct button and take everyone on the planet with them. Plus now that option is only an empty threat, their only bluff is to destroy the entire planet and everyone on it. The planet shield wouldn’t be recognized as a legitimate business its only something necessary to sustain freaking life on the planet no one organization would be allowed to run such a thing. Maybe one government but seeing as how it influences the entire planet probably everyone would feel a need to contribute to it. Ah it make your brain hurt the more you think about it CURSE YOU SPOONY!
I’ll watch the first and third movie. At least you with the third movie, you can say that the guy in the cave was dead. Immortals die if you give them enough damage, they just get back up later. It happened to Connor in the beginning, and it happened to the kurgen when he was shot. The reason that the cave guy never got back up is because he was still squished under the rocks. Once he was freed, it started again.
Everything else sucked. Even more so if it had anything to do with the TV show…
Yes and no. In the films, you can’t kill an immortal short of decapitation. On the series, Immortals can die conventionally but they’ll wake up shortly afterward. Shoot an immortal and they’ll just wake up in a couple of minutes pissed at you. Drown one and they’ll stay dead as long as they’re underwater.
What if you eat them?
Then you’re a goddamn godless savage.
I’m guessing that eating would be a long slow way to remove the head from the body, so in the end, they die.
I always kinda seen it like Wolverine, or Claire/Sylar from Heroes. The body tries to heal itself, and will keep it alive if possible, which is why Conner was able to breath under water in the first movie. But if there is enough trauma to the organs, they may shut down until they can be repaired, which is why a sword through Rameriz’s stomach dropped him long enough to be killed, and a 30 or so rounds of 9mm dropped the Kurgan for a few seconds. It may not be true death, more of a death like stasis or coma, but possibly enough to take them out of the game until they can be freed and allowed to regenerate.
*MacLeod falls down elevator which explodes*
Katana: “Nicely played MacLeod…”
Me: You magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!!!
Not to depress you further, but have you seen the anime version of The Highlander? (I don’t know if it’s any good, given the series track record it probably isn’t.)
Aw, c’mon now! The TV series rocked. . .At least up until the last season, which featured an absolutely terrible series finale: an “It’s a Wonderful Life” story.
At least we can all agree Raven was seven kinds of stupid.
Wait….so the ending of Highlander 2 ended up like Ghost with Patrick Swayzee? Only instead of going to heaven he ended up going to Zeist which is a dry hellhole that the cast of Dune wouldn’t even bother to piss on….deep?
While I’m don’t have munch knowledge of the whole Highlander franchise, I must say I really enjoyed the first TV series. At least it was more fun and interesting than this… whatever is this “movie”.And must admit that I watched the french cartoon in the 90′s and it really wasn’t so bad at all.Yeah, maybe I’m feeling a little nostalgic about both, but frankly those two are way better than this thing of a movie in my humble opinion.
There can be only one good Highlander movie
there was also an anime >_>
How do you fuck up something this bad when you have Sean fucking Connery at your disposal?
ask John Boorman, Stephen Norrington, Jeremiah S. Chechlik, Jerry Zucker and Ronald Neame.
I know why this movie exists: for you, Spoony, to have create this hilarious review of it.
And I also love how the evil monolithic corporation has its headquarter IN A GIANT FUCKING MONOLITH.I mean that thing looks exactly like a Necron Monolith from Warhammer 40k!
And why the hell not? When you’re the smartest sci-fi thriller since Blade Runner, you can do whatever the hell you want. It’s like getting ‘made’ in the mob.
And the sentence “There can be only one!” will never feel the same way again……..
Maybe the phrase, “There can be only one!”, is meant to give the idea that it is a Battle Royale: Earth edition. Perhaps whatever power these aliens get from Earth is divided equally to all of those aliens who have this strange power siphoning ability, and reducing the amount of aliens on the planet increases the amount of power to those still alive. Something similar to The One with Jet Li.
Take into account that I know little about Highlander. So my attempt is mostly from your review solely.
I am not happy you brought back such unpleasant memories.
I am a big fan of Micheal Ironside and seeing him in another crapping movie hurts.
But the part that stings the most is that when I first saw this movie, I saw the first 12 minutes with no sound and missed the word Zeist, So when I saw the desert and stuff my first though was, ‘HOLY CRAP! They are survivors of Atlantis or something!’
“there can be only one” that would be a great catch phrase if it weren’t in such a terrible movie. Spoony made a reference to the line in part 1 of the FF8 review. When Squall was fighting Seifer in the opening FMV.
I think WWE wrestler Edge had a cameo in “Highlander: End Game”
I liked the TV series. It was cheesy and camp and often WTF, but it was immensely entertaining as well (And Methos was awesome). Because of that, I wasn’t adverse to Endgame, either.
…the last one doesn’t exist. It shattered my mind into a million pieces. “Oh my god no” would have been a very good name for it.
When I saw the ending all i could think of was the last scene of “Puma Man”High-Land-Er! He Flies Like a Moron! Now- They’re Going- to Boff in the Air And Ha Haaaaaahhh!
Good work as always, Spoony.
On a tangentially related note, um, what’s with all the “adult content” ads ’round here? I mean, I’m not offended (believe me, I’m not), but at the same time, it really doesn’t seem to fit this place.
I also was a pretty big fan of the TV series, although it was my first introduction to Highlander so that might explain my soft spot (and why I actually liked Duncan). It was definitely flawed and had some real low points, but also many high points if you stuck with it. Particularly after the second season. Even so, Highlander as a whole franchise is pretty much the definition of potential wasted and screwed up. Anyway, great review Spoony, a lot of laughs and brought back a lot of memories. Perhaps memories best left forgotten… but alas.
It SHOULD have been only one, indeed…
Maybe I’m just being a bigot, but John C. McGinley seems like the most awful poor man’s substitute for Christopher Lee
“John C. McGinley seems like the most awful poor man’s substitute for Christopher Lee”
I recently found this quote from IMDB:
“I did Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), with Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert down in Buenos Aires, and I stunk. I was infatuated with Orson Welles’ filmography at the time, so I wanted to see if I could make my voice as low as his, and I succeeded. Nothing in the text supported that choice, though, so in the film, I look like a jackass. I don’t look like a tough guy, I look like an idiot actor trying to toy around with his vocal apparatus.”
Whoa, hold on a minute… Sure, the shield kinda sucks and all that stuff, but its destruction is even worse since everyone and everything on Earth will burn! Whatever happened to the ozone layer missing?
Man, fuck that movie!
The ozone layer is supposed to have regenerated never mind that such a thing is impossible. I don’t blame you for missing it even the review of this movie makes me want to drink myself blind. I mean were the writers high on meth or something?
I’d rather not fuck the movie though. I would rather run it over again and again and again with a dump truck.
Ozone layer regeneration is NOT impossible. Ozone is formed by sun’s UV-radiation in stratosphere. After the CFC ban the ozone layer depletion has started to slow down, but full recovery will take a long time (maybe centuries).
They established that the ozone layer had repaired itself with the whole “Radiation levels: Normal.” The Shield corporation just kept it running because they’re a bunch of overthetop mustache twirling douchebags.
How did you miss the whole “radiation Levels : Normal” thing, Spoony pointed it out quite plainly several times? I know the thing is awful, ut surely the few scenes shown didn’t fry your brain THAT much??
They would still burn. Without direct sunlight for the last 25 years, every sunblock company would be out of business, and everybody would be paler than the average spoony fan.
Thanks for your replies, everyone. I hadn’t missed the “Radiation Levels: Normal” thing though, it’s just that I don’t see how the ozone layer somehow fixed itself.
I forgot just how batshit insane the ending to this movie was.
The Highlander anime is supposed to be good. I mean it says so in Wikipedia.
This was the first truely bad Sci-fi film I ever saw. I mean it, and I was raised on re runs of Galactica 1980!
You see I can take a step back and like a show for it’s atempt, I can set aside bad acting, scripting and plot holes as long as the idea behind is inventive and interesting.
Here everything went wrong and there is nothing positive behind it. As you said Spoony there should have been only one. The problem is Highlander was so sucsessful the studio wanted more, even after so toltal and complete a ending. This is why a lot of films sequel bait, it’s to leave a back door open (in fact the idea behind Zist was that more and more immortals could turn up later, that is why he didn’t return in the original cut).
When I do watch the first film (whenever it’s on TV if I’m honest) I like to pretend that it is the only thing in that timeline and that everything else doesn’t happen.
I admit I LOVE the first Highlander movie. It’s pure popcorn popping fun. Full of violence, low cut dresses (although I could have done without Celia Imrie’s contribution) and Clancy Brown hamming it up as the Kurgan. And to top it all off it was set to a freakin awesome Queen soundtrack. To this day every time I hear Queen I keep thinking of Conner yelling “There can be only one!” The sequals made me want to cry though. Although I admit the 3rd one had some nice moments.
When I heard about the anime movie I thought “Oh christ here we go again” but I ended up watching it online and getting really confused because well it was….pretty damn good to be honest. It skips the whole past to present premise of the first movie and leaps strait into a post-apocalyptic New York, it has a villain who doesn’t try to be the Kurgan and who (believe it or not) plays Brian May style guitar solos on top of his freakin Doom Tower! FOR KICKS!
Not to mention they did a pretty good job of portraying the whole thing between these two Immortals as some sort of Grudge Match which has been going on since the Roman Invasion of Britain. Marcus Octavius the Immortal Roman building up powerful but ultimately inhuman empires all through history and Colin McCloud ripping them down all because Marcus killed Colin’s wife. Not to mention Marcus has a hot ass kicking Immortal Ninja Babe as a Hench-Wench.
It left me thinking why couldn’t the live action movies be more like that! If you aint seen it it’s worth a watch.
You know, I think I might have heard of some newfangled anime somewhere…
I can understand why so many people would want to work with the Highlander universe. The possibilities are endless: the Pharoahs were all Immortals, the Immortal Viking of Stamford Bridge, feuding sons of Genghis Khan, the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, King Arthur, a hundred and one legends and mythologies that sound like perfect fits for a Highlander refitting.
Why were none of THOSE ideas put on screen!?
You’ve got a good point there. Maybe because those ideas would require a little bit of panache to pull off.
Well, that was a fun review. I agree with you on that the original concept was self-contained and while I understand milking the giant cow, adding more was really ridiculous. The idea of Highlander is pure Rule of Cool, but when they started trying to flesh it out… ugh.
But, I gotta say- if you don’t care for anime like Vampire Hunter D and Ninja Scroll, you won’t like Highlander: Search for Vengeance. To it’s credit, the direction and the animation are beautiful, but the story itself is takes all the anime cliches out there and rehashes them with Highlander. Post Apocolyptic future; check. The Disposable Woman; check. Wise Old Man with Snark; check. The Virus; check. I was bored stupid. Of course, I’m also terribly biased. While Highlander isn’t exactly well known for character development, I had hoped for more than bloodless vampires.
Spoony may have to review that with an anime expert if he wants to share his suffering
I know Marzgurl does anime. Who else?
The TV show had its low points and moments of over-the-top-ness (like the “DARIUS!!” clip seen here), but I’d say that overall the good outweighed the bad for an action/sci-fi show of the 90′s. Duncan turned into a pretty good successor, and both he and his supporting cast were fleshed out really well and got some great drama going on. Of course, it helps that Duncan got an entire series to show various points in his life, going from student to teacher of other immortals, as well as regular everyday adventures throughout his life. Joe Dawson and Methos were also big parts of why that show was badass. Sure, in order to fit into the first movie’s continuity, the show had to say that Connor didn’t actually win the Prize at the end of the movie, but that he instead just removed the Kurgan from the Game, but I can live with that.
But yeah, the other movies and Highlander shows did suck the big one. I have a weird way of looking at Endgame, though. If I just heard the synopsis for it, I might actually say that it sounded pretty good. Blending the first movie and TV show together (thankfully ignoring everything else); and going back to Connor’s roots and coming up with a villain from that time of his life who doesn’t care one bit about the rules of the Game, which has allowed him an advantage over every other immortal he faces. Hearing that description alone, it sounds like it could have potential, in my opinion. Unfortunately, the utterly horrible execution of the script, the cheapness, and the badguy’s weird acting all serve to drag the movie through mud and poo.
In sort of defense of the tv series it did bring one awesome thing into existence. It brought the awesome known as Methos into life. Of course it also brought those two damn movies and the Raven spin off… Crap. Now I want to cry into my Cheerios. Very glad I never caved and watched the other two movies. Though you did just kill half my brain cells by showing that ending. Thanks a lot. Now I can’t bake cookies *or* do math any more.
Boy Highlander 2. One of the few movies that actually was equally as bad as anime.
THAT’S RIGHT I WENT THERE
Which is like saying “one of the few movies that actually was equally as bad as books.” I hate it when people generalize a medium.
Speaking of the TV series how was there supposed to “be only one” if new people turned out to be immortal all the time?
Man, it’s been a very long time, but I remember the series turned into the duncan-flashes-back-to-bangin’-some-old-timey-chick-and-then-losing-her-in-some-way-show at some point.
The Dr Cox imitation is golden! loved the review. hilarious!
Sadly, this was the first highlander I watched as a kid, so I thought highlander sucked and kind of brushed off all people who said it was good until I watched the original.
Now i’m of the opinion that there is only one, and consider the rest bad fan-fiction.
I only remember parts of this movie. But I don’t remember what I thought about it back whenever I saw it. I’m amazed it’s as bad as it is. I never really followed the show but I did see scattered episodes and thought it was ok. But I pretty much only saw filler and don’t really know what the overall plot was. Just “random immortal shows up, highlander knows him from some event from the past, random immortal tries to kill highlander, highlander kills them instead” rinse and repeat. Though I think this review made me laugh almost as much as the warrior review, yes the warrior review almost made me pass out from laughing. Skronk.
What about the anime!?????? It’s great!!
I think so, too. Vengeance was incredible but it really had as much to do with the Highlander film/series continuity as the old animated series from the 90′s did. They could have just called it “Futuristic Immortal Sword Guy” and it wouldn’t have made it better or worse. I know it isn’t saying much, but as far as movies with the word “Highlander” in the title go? Vengeance is almost as good as the original film.
Don’t they have a Highlander video game out? Or coming out? Oh, and on a side note, End Game wasn’t that bad. I thought it was rather good.
Came out for the Atari Jaguar. Based on the animated show. As you might imagine, it was shit. Endgame was good if you don’t mind being insulted as a Highlander fan for 90 minutes. Sad part is, as Highlander fans we’re used to it.
No, no. There’s another one coming out for the Xbox 360 & PS3. Believe it or not, it looks pretty badass. If it’s ever released. Been announced since 2008.
Currently on indefinite hiatus. That’s what it says on the Wikipedia page of Highlander: The Game :(
In other words, canceled. We’ll see Duke Nukem Forever before this thing ever shows up on a Gamecrazy shelf (Do you know what I am saying dawg?) Although the game lost me at magic (It’s a kind of magic is not supposed to be taken literally dammit!) a proper Highlander video game would actually be pretty awesome….but only as long as it contains two things:1. Customization of the player-controlled immortal right down to the sword that character uses or even a create-an-Immortal mode.2. The music of Queen. I’m a proponent of putting more Queen music in video games anyway simply because Queen is fucking awesome, but for a Highlander game it’s especially important. No other rock band has ever been as synonymous with a single franchise as Queen and Highlander. I could go on all day in this post about how A Kind of Magic as a soundtrack absolutely nails the spirit of the Highlander universe.
Yeah, it sure looks like it’s been canceled. I guess we’ll never know if the game’s any good or not. 1.The character customization is definitely the way to go with a game like Highlander. After all, it has role playing game written all over it and in every RPG you have to create your own character for you to play. Why should this game be any different in that sense. So, yeah I second this idea fully.2. Nothing much to add here, other than Queen rocks! :D
Just think of it:
Highlander: The MMORPG.
End Game made Highlander into Dragon Ball Z. It was awful, nothing but immortals comparing their power levels.
It also completely ignores the previous movies, including the original, as once again, there are millions of immortals running around.
AND THEY KILLED CONNER!!! HOW DO YOU KILL THE DAMN HIGHLANDER IN FAVOR OF HIS POORLY WRITTEN SPUN OFF COUNTERPART???
Compared to every other part of the Highlander Series, except for the 1st one, End Game was good. Period. I mean really, all of the other parts were stupid as fuck. End Game was just less stupid.
Yeah, and compared to the other prequel films Revenge of the Sith is good; that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a shitty movie when you compare it to anything else. Comparing a bad movie to other bad movies doesn’t make it any better. Endgame blew; that it was better than the other shit sequels doesn’t make it good.
I forgot, I love how they play bagpipes for the scotsman, even though he’s an egyptian pretending to be spanish……….MAKE SENSE, DAMN YOU!
Sir Sean has been summoning powers of Scottish ham. There’s no other explanation for that. Thus, bagpipes.
Honestly, there must have been three different teams at work on script and set to create this many plotholes.
Sublime review, Spoony, as usual.
Also, is it only me, or are most of your best videos the ones in which either only you appear or you and your brother?
So Spoonies best videos are in fact….Spoonies videos?
Yes, the ones in which only he (or, as I’ve mentioned above, he and his brother) appear, with no guy with the glasses, whats-his-name-that-sounds-like-link and whomever else. Lordkat is pretty cool, tho.
Oh god Dr. Cox, what the hell were you doing?
Lol, Highlander II is a total disaster.
In the Director’s Cut all that them going to the stars is cut out, since they have removed all Zeist references. I’m pretty sure the scene with the girl running out of ammo is cut out too, since she’s not a commando in Director’s Cut (I think she’s a journalist). That being said the sin of Highlander II, other than being extremely bad was trying to force a continuation of the story by some stupid plot development (wether Zeists, or the time after time (still, wtf does that mean)), however I would say Highlander IV (Endgame) is worse. They have no explanation why there are loads of immortals even though it’s happening after the original Highlander (Completely ignoring Highlander II, which is not a bad idea).
Didn’t know there ever was a television series. Could explain who that other twat was, who was pretending to be a Highlander in Endgame (damn Highlander IV suck balls).
Now that you mention the part about the woman being a journalist in the Renegade Edition I think I saw that one.
I think thats why I didnt think of the movie as BAD as Spoony.
Still, I was a kid when I saw it, so I can not judge it.
“Didn’t know there ever was a television series. Could explain who that other twat was, who was pretending to be a Highlander in Endgame (damn Highlander IV suck balls).”I think it was Fabio. (seriously, that’s all Duncan was, Fabio with a sword).
I completely forgot about the Highlander cartoon. Good lord was it bad. It was kind of the Blood Omen 2 of the many awful Highlander spin-offs and sequels.
Did you ever see or play the Highlander Jaguar CD game? If you can find it (and a working Jaguar+CD addon) it would make a pretty awesomely bad game to review.
It had bad controls similar to the PSX Resident Evils except slower and less responsive. The graphics were the standard unshaded polygons like Iron Soldier from the Angry Videogame Nerd’s Jaguar reviews. I think it even had animated cutscenes from the cartoon.
AH-AH-AH! SOMEONE is forgetting a HIGHLANDER FILM…
The Highlander Anime known as “Highlander: The Search For Vengeance”
If you all feel the same about the other Highlander films and shows, then watch this animated epic. It’s the best thing since the original Highlander film, and it’s fucking GREAT!
Sorry. I just really like Highlander, and like Spoony I was depressed about the shit people kept peddling off as Highlander material. Then I see this movie on a Netflix suggestion, order it, watch it, and now I feel content that at least one thing…ONE thing Highlander post-the original film was made with a soul. It does get a bit WTF at moments, but over all it’s like Fist of the North Star meets Highlander. Yeah, I just said that.
I agree, i can;t believe i’m saying this, but yeah…highlander anime is the best thing to happen to the franchise since the first one. honestly the only thing it was missing was the queen soundtrack and it would have been pretty damn perfect. it certainly understood the point and tone of the first one better than…well pretty much anything else that came after it. good story, fantastic animation, a hero i accepted as being a badass instead of the script just telling me he was repeatedly, a pretty awesome villain (he’s no kurgen, but he doesn’t try to be, he’s a completely different brand of badass) and swordfights by people who apparently…knew how to swordfight. there were a few quibbles, such as i had to question where these damn macleods keep coming from and what the odds were they would keep turning immortal and getting a penchant for samurai swords and brown trenchcoats despite being scottish, but hey who care’s right? at least he’s not from zeist hahah there a lot of worse ways to do a highlander sequel…and i’m pretty sure spoony hit every one of em :)
Oh god. This movie was bad in the day… I tried to block it out of my mind… I just pretend it never happened.
I think the highlander live action series was great. kinda cheesy at times but still petty good.
:30- She explained how what is wrong with this.
3:57- It seems he forgot the concepts of everything.
4:35- Katana has some serious mental issues. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he acts like this on zeist. Then again, how would he still be a general then.
5:03- He shoots like a a person who has never fired a gun before.
10:10- Why did he kill himself? he could have clearly lifted up enough to get to the door and escape.
10:40- Why did he kill him? Wouldn’t the guards try to kill Katana then?
10:53- They have m-14 assault riffles in the future. Maybe they are the extremely underfunded night shift.
Spoony your review inspired me to revisit the original Highlander. I completely forgot about the scene where Connor is hammered and fighting that British guy. Hilarious.
man, i don't actually have much to add here, you literally hit just about every mark i could have. but i did wonder one thing and if you had noticed it. when they completely inexplicably ressurect Ramirez they bring him back to what i presume to be the same spot where he died in scotland 500 yrs or so on and in the exact same outfit he was wearing in the first movie. now i spent a lot of time being so perplexed by the whole “conner yells your name really loud so you can totally return from the dead” thing and the whole boatload of questions that come with that (how did he do that? how did he know he could do that? how come he only did it this once and how come he waited so long? what was so important about right this second that he needed ramirez for but not ever before like say, battling the kurgen, both of their old nemesis? what does he even do for macleod once he was there besides die stupidly? see? just naming a few sent me on a tangent, and that's just a fraction of them) but my brother made me realize something and look past all that
of all the really important things, huge story altering things that they completely forgot or ignored from the first movie, and inversely, all the fucking minute pointless completely irrellavant details to fixate on, WHY THE HELL IS THE ONLY THING THEY GOT RIGHT IN TERMS OF CONTINUITY FROM THE FIRST FILM TO THIS ONE IS WHAT RAMIREZ IS FRIGGIN WEARING???!!! WHY WHY WHY??? I mean, they miss the ENTIRE point of the first film, tear it apart almost point by point, flagrently disregarding EVERYTHING established in the first film about the characters, their origins and motivations, the rules of immortality, etc, but THIS Ramirez's fucking medieval pimp suit, THAT was important enough to painstakingly reproduce accurately, right down the the cutlass/ rapier sword thing he had when he died, that he promptly forgets about and replaces with the katana…that he shouldn't have since connor should…no no…must not go on another tangent, that way lies madness…but really? that's what they remember between movies? hell, even in the framework of this film, they couldn't keep it straight (note the sword issue, who has what sword and when with no mention of they change hands) but they can remember that shit between two films years apart??
oh and i loved this review by the way. i had always wondered if and when you would finally address “the baseline for all bad movies” (though that is a bit unfair, as terrifying a concept as this is, there are worse movies…yeah let that sink in) and it was totally worth it. and thanks to this i will never be able to see those two wierd goggled, flying…sorta…dark eldar…bird-ish…tongue-centric dudes from zeist ever again without thinking of dr. insano.
thankfully, i've hit upon the idea of just…never seeing them ever again period and that should solve all the problems haha
Loved both parts and the ending of part 2 is a great synopsis for every highlander film/show after the first film.
I really don't wanna watch this now, I have actually watched the first one which was 'okay' wouldn't watch it again but still… THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!
Maybe Ramirez is surprised at the technological advancement of the human race. The last time he was alive, people lived in stone castles and the most advanced form of transport was a wooden boat.
Didn't Spoonward say he didn't go back? Then he shows us the ending where Connor clearly goes back. >_>
Scots are not English !
In the European ending (aka The Fairytale Ending) Connor goes back to Zeist with Louise. However, in the US version they both remain here on Earth….
At least in Director's Cut they stay, but that since all Zeist references are gone, perhaps there was an alternate ending on the DVD.(Man, when I think about it the Director's Cut added some really dumb stuff too).
Theres always the anime movie Highlander Search for Vengeance, where they have Colin rocking out a katana and there also some guy with a chainsaw sword too.
Well actually Edinburgh is polluted with bagpipes… the music really is everywhere. Most believable thing in this film id say.
Great stuff, Spoony! I've only seen the original Highlander and Endgame – I seriously dodged a bullet here!
Also, for those saying the anime is pretty good – I beg to differ. Perhaps by the standards of the franchise, yeah, but it wasn't anything special. Kawajiri practically took Ninja Scroll and transplanted it onto Highlander, except without the same level of intensity or ingenuity.
They are British. While yes that's typical USA native mistake from Spoony his joke is still valid; just replace English with Scotish (or if you want to be more accent accurate British) and viola!
Spoony, somehow I think your Sean Connery impression has actually gotten WORSE since the days of Naked Zombie Sean Connery.
Wow…there was a Highlander cartoon show? I never knew or at least blocked it from my mind.
As for the rest, if you take out Highlander 2 and the TV show's spinoff, I think it's great or at least watchable.
Viola is not voila ! … Just kiddin' :-D
Of course his joke is still valid, I just wanted to say something.
But, If one day you meet a Scot, don't tell him he is English. Seriously, don't.
Very funny review. It was certainly food for thought for me and a few of my friends who had seen the first one but not any of the sequels.
The funny thing is, this movie just needs a very small rewrite to make sense with the first movie. All you have to do is have Zeistians regularly sent down to Earth (making Earth like their Australia, a prison colony of sorts). It explains why the Immortals can't impregnate human women- severe genetic differences. Have Ramirez have been on earth for thousands of years, with Connor sent to earth as an infant (hence Connor doesn't know). Ramirez knows, Kurgan knows, it just never came up in conversation with Connor (Ramirez probably wouldn't want to burden him with too much beyond what he needed to know and Kurgan isn't exactly the sort to go around spouting exposition like that). And Connor could have known this after killing Kurgan, after absorbing Kurgan's knowledge- it just never came up until enemies from Zeist showed up.
This doesn't fix all the plot holes (I have a more complicated version that I won't post here), but it DOES turn The Quickening from a sloppy and crappy sequel to an internally consistent sloppy and crappy sequel.
But wasn't the guy Spoony was accusing of being an English stereotype English? To me, the accent pegged him as an Englishman living in Scotland for some reason.
Agh… double post…
I remember that the first time that I watched Highlander 2 was on cable TV. As soon as they retconned the Inmortals as Aliens, I changed the channel, rolling my eyes… Until this day, I haven't finnished the damn movie.
Actually, I liked the first TV show. It wasn't as good as the first movie, but it had some pretty good moments… At least in my opinion.
I never really cared for Highlander 3 or the last TV movie or the animated series and Endgame was just “meh”, IMO. Didn't knew that there was another TV series and I keep hearing mixed reviews about the anime (hadn't the chance of watch it myself)
But as you said, The Quickening is truly a lesson on how fuck up a pretty interesting concept.
I mean, the first one is probably in my Top-20 favorite movies of ALL TIME and the soundtrack is amazing, but The Quickening is such a mess…
As someone said before, the Highlander anime sequel is pretty much the only sequel that captures the original feel of Highlander, minus the Queen soundtrack.
DUDE!!! The series was THE BEST! Everything else suck
Bagpipes enough said lol and well the power of belief can stop a descending spinning fan. What a crappy movie.
From the Wikipedia article:According to the documentary Highlander II: Seduced by Argentina, the film’s apparent poor performance is partially result of the bonding company’s interference with the work of director Russell Mulcahy, as well as economic problems within Argentina itself, the location where the movie was filmed. Mulcahy reportedly hated the final product so much he walked out of the film’s world premiere after viewing its first 15 minutes. For similar reasons, Christopher Lambert threatened to walk out of the project when it was nearing fruition. However, he didn’t, due to contract obligations.
I really didn't like it, but in being fair it looked good. But there was no story. Major twitchiness.
You made me spit out the last mouthful tea at 4:09-4:2. You're hilarious! I <3 you Mr. Spoony :)
Oh, Noah, no. Two entire installments just so you could drop that last line.
And don't deny it, you know it's true.
Thanks for this and especially DEADLY PREMONITION.
Woo hoo! This game is a gem of Twin Peaks-iosity and I love every bizarre particle of it. You are in for a treat my friend.
This review has inspired me! I know I'm probably not the first one to attempt this but I am going to rewrite Highlander 2: The Quickening. BUT! It will still take place in the future. Ramirez will still be present in some form. AND the subtitle will actually make sense! I'm already in the process.
Expect my my eventual email.
The animated series was actually pretty good. Okay, it wasn't NEAR as good as the movie (the one and ONLY movie), but for its time, it was a pretty exciting and well made cartoon. It had cool setting, the characters were more than just one dimensional plot devices, and they actually had enough balls to let the villain actually decapitate people. Okay, it was pretty much Highlander In Name Only, but that worked in its favor. The rest of the spin off/sequel material though… never existed. Never happened. Never. Which is good because we wouldn't want the Highlander film to be tainted by shitty sequels and live action series. Which it didn't.
don't forget the anime movie
you forgot to show the Highlander anime….indeed their was in fact a highlander anime and it sucked sooo hard.
edit: Ha, just noticed Stephen's comment. Great minds…
oh, I knew the horrible 'happy' ending was going to come up…
There only can be one my ass. Where is the concept of when someone dies and come back from battle. Arn't they the Immortals. Don't they explain that in the first movie. It's been awhile since I seen the Highlander movies because there is only one movie that should of been made. Yes all the other Highlander sucked balls, but The anime at least tried to stay true to the storyline that I think is much better then any Highlander storyline expect for the first one that is there only can be one and should of stayed that way. O well what can you do when the Scriptwriters r sucking the Producer dick just to get their shitty ass storyline on movie. I swear how the hell do bad movies get made. WTF
Actually I think I know why General Katana (ugh) hasn't aged in 500 years. We're talking 500 EARTH years, not Zeistian years. You see, according to Einstein's theory of relativity…..
Nah, it's just shitty writing.
No, you’re right, APPARENTLY in the original script it explains a day on
Zeist is like a year on earth, thus giving them the immortality on
earth. It also explains that they had their memories wiped and they were
reborn when they went to Earth, and were mortal until they got to be as
old as they were when they were exiled, then they stopped aging by
Earth years and started aging by Zeist years…I haven’t looked that up myself though, and either way it’s still shitty writing, but if what I heard is right at least they were gonna explain it originally
I liked the Highlander cartoon.:(
Learning that the immortals of Highlander are actually aliens is up there with the Force being micro-organisms that can be measured through a blood test.There are some things that a script should explain, and others that shouldn't be explained at all.
Another great review Spoony! I have to ask though, when Mcleod cuts off Katana's head, where did you get that sound of someone going, “Decapitation!!” That was neat!
There's no possible way that this was a coherent script.
They had a script for an environmental cyberpunk movie involving exiled aliens, and then got contracted to write a sequel to Highlander, and said “What the hell, we'll finish that script and adapt it to Highlander. Will save time.”
And the second guy, heavily drunk, cackles. “That's a-awshum, we-we-… can mmmake the hailander an alien…”
And the third guy, who's only heard a very innacurate synopsis of the first movie, goes “Ingenious! We can explain why they're immortal! They're aliens!”
You know, I still think any company worth it's weight will give the scriptwriters a free copy of the first movie whenever they're writing a sequel. It would help make shit like this less stupid, at least.
No no, it's because the script wasn't written and intended for it to be a Highlander sequel. :D
Who knowsh, Highlander? Who knowsh?
You know, Roger Ebert isn't right that often, but in his review, he predicted that “Wherever science fiction fans gather, in decades and generations to come, this film will be remembered in hushed tones as the immortal low point of the genre.”
Granted, Spoony's delivery isn't what I would call “hushed”, but it's remarkable that, almost 20 years later, Ebert was spot-on.
You can like something even if it's not “good”.
I'm a bit confused. I thought that the shield was there to stop all humanity from being burnt to death? What happened to that?
Otherwise, great review. As always.
If they're mortal on Zeist, why was Katana alive after 500 years? What, did they just re-arrange dimensional axis in their part of the universe? Why do the Zeist-ians speak english? Why do they know pop-culture references? Why do they all suddenly have magical powers? Why does the plot and every single scientific notion in this movie make LESS sense than a Joss Whedon project on crack? More to the point, Why the fuck does this movie exist??!!!111111one
I'm going to go watch 4 hours of Happy Tree Friends now to cleanse my mind. And then I might go bang my head hard against the nearest wall. Great review, terrible movie (it will haunt my nightmares for weeks).
This film is perfect in its shameless awfulnicity. It should be respected. The movie is obviously an Alien alien put in film form. It is a diabolical parody that incubated deep within the first film's gut and burst out only vaguely resembling it, but absolutely efficient in destroying it and everything around it.
It was to replace the ozone layer, since it was being depleted. The ozone layer has apparently fixed itself by this point, though, which made the Shield unnecessary.
Movie's still really stupid, though.
… Is… Is that a FUCKING DC-3?! IN THE FUTURE?! What, did jets go extinct? Banned?
Sounds like Jack Black from Brutal Legend.
Midi-chlorians aren't the Force. The Force is the Force. Midi-chlorians just allow you to detect and interact with the Force.
HAHA, wow, Highlander 2 was so bad! BUT, I loved the cartoon as a kid. It was actually pretty cool and it had an ending.
dear spoony I thin you are forgeting something that was very important!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC7_COSRIR8
this is also highlander and this kicked asssssss
You do realize you have to review all of those now, right?
You do realize you have to review all of those other Highlander stuff now, right?
Epic and true review
come on Spoony, the show wasn't that bad I mean sure Duncan was like Steven Seagal in “On Deadly Ground” meaning no one could touch him but the series was awesome. But other than that Highlander 2 is as worse as Batman and Robin and Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li and boy that is saying a lot.
JD! Get me the Higlander or your fired! I need him for my partner here who never lets his teeth touch together! STAT!
Oh and you left one off the sequel list. There's a crappy anime now too.
You seem to forget the atrocious acting
Kinda ironic that Highland becomes Peterpan at the end
Regardless of how terrible this movie is, and it really is terrible, John C. McGinley turns in an incredibly entertaining performance.
That man could read the phone book and it would still be one hundred percent awesome.
Cinematic production rule #102: When your movie blows, find some way to blame Argentina.
…Nngh. I forgot about the scene involving Sean Connery becoming one with the Force while Amazing Grace plays on bagpipes like a police funeral dirge in the background. So he basically… just… expends all of his life energy to what, use his telekinesis Limit Break on the fucking fan? Nnnnnnnnngh.
you forgot about the anime :P
How can Spoony do a review of this movie, a 2 parter no less, and not once do a “SEE YOU AT THE PARTY RICHTER” quote at all?????
I remember going to see this when it was first released.
At the end, when he says “There can be only one”, some guy at the back of the theater shouted “There should’ve BEEN only one.”
Summed up my thoughts exactly. This Bud’s for you, Movie Theater Hero Guy.
Does the name William Panzer ring any bells Spoony? I did some checking and it appears he wrote and produced Highlander II, III and Endgame. He’s been producing/exec. producing Highlander since the first movie all the way to the surprisingly good Search for Vengeance OVA. Not unlike Brannon Braga taking the Star Trek Franchise to the toolshed w/ Voyager has there been a complete (and obvious) ruination of a franchise thai I’ve seen. Even Lucas stopped calling the original Original Trilogy (pre-1994) “workprints” after a while. What’s Panzer’s ecuse?
Maybe he was high.
I just realized something about the whole Connery-stops-the-fan bit. He justifies this by explaining that he’s summoned up “all of his life” into one place and time. Never minding the cornucopia of insanity pointed out by Spooney….
My math may be a bit off, but Immortal strikes me as a hell of a lot longer than a normal life. In fact it’s functionally limitless life. If an -IMMORTAL- being to summoned up “ALL of their life into one time and one place”,THEY WOULD BE OMNIPOTENT, presuming the “Infinity / x = y – x” even allowed for it to occur in the first place.
In short, the only two ways I could have seen this end would be Ramirez blue-screening the universe, or ascending to the throne of Scottish Jehovah.
yay i know the feeling me and my brothers are immortal. so what we do are incredibly stupid and dangerous thing to spit in my brother death’s eye. like we play Russian roulette and jump into crocodile pits, and the best game we play of all…..live hand grenade toss
Bravo. You have takn a plothole and made it into an equation. How the hell did you do that??
Decades spent telling myself the only reason 2 + 2 = 4 is the oppressive monolithic state, out to drain me of soul and replace it with consumerism. That, and in all honesty my Manga/Anime experience has already covered a good two dozen ways something like this occurs, and in -that- fiction, the entire point of why they don’t just snap their fingers and destroy the world is handled with just the very realization this movie managed to miss:The more you use, the closer you inch to death.
Enter above issue, re: No death to inch toward. It hit me as the plot hole equivalent of multiplying by zero and swearing you keep getting smaller and smaller numbers…but with larger and larger….effects. *scratches head*
It’s good knowing I wasn’t the only one thinking it.
Bravo Spoony, I especially love your “OH SHIT” when Connery breaks the model of the shield.
There can be only ONE highlander 2, all other copies will be decapitated and we can seal the original in a vault to never be seen again.
Hey McCloud’s fighting Katana with a Katana.
I Belive in Ramirez!
yeag, there really should’ve been only one movie
Ahahah AHAHAH No More Dr Coxx ahaahah this is my favorite part in the review! well done Noah ahahah i laughed my ass off haahahah!!! NOOOOOOOOo OOoo
I still can’t stop thinking about gay Sean Connery….
It’s a shame that all the movies in the series after the first Highlander were terribel. That being said, I actually enjoyed the Highlander TV series(except for that one bizarre season in which Duncan McCleod faces off against a demon). The series seemed to effectively potray the long term trials and tribulations of being an immortal; dealing with the potentially negative effects of the Quickening(i.e; aborbing the memories of an incredibly malevolent immortal), constantly losing mortal companions to old age and disease, and dealing with rivals who can spend centuries plotting the ideal revenge scenario
When I saw Dr Cox acting the exact method as he did in Scrubs I was amused and a little concerned that this is his acting method. What is the actor’s name?
I forgot his name but he’s still awesome. did you know the guy playing the janitor actually auditioned for the role of Dr. Cox?
what review does he do the Captain America thing? by the way..best theme song ever for him XD
The Captain America review…
Okay, can John C.McGinley seriously not play a character that isn’t a complete asshole? He played this same role in Office Space,too!
Queen is not a punchline, fuckers! Damn whoever made this movie!
the tv show wasnt that bad
i feel you spoony…this is what i felt after star wars episode one….but then again even that movie wasnt horrible, its tolerable….and they got a little beter each time…and the show isnt half bad….
ok….i dont feel you….
I like the TV show :)
…………and the second movie doesn’t exist.
you know what……someone should write an official document dictating that all Highlander squeals and spin-offs are to be completely removed of any and all connections to the first Highlander movie including the name. THAT WOULD BE THE GREATEST DOCUMENT EVER!!!!!
Was that Amazing Grace they were playing with those bagpipes?
Yes, they were referencing Star Trek 2, to remind the audience of a better sequel they could be watching as an additional insult.
wait…the guy who plays macleoud…..isnt that the dude who plays raiden in the first mortal kombat movie?
Yes, Yes it is!
that’s why they choose him as raiden they both involve absorbing lightning his name is Christopher Lambert
Just to let you know Zeist is actually a town in the central Netherlands if you haven’t looked it up already xD
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT AT THE END!! IS THAT PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE ONLY VERY VERY BAD !!!!!. whoever sang that should have his entrails tied to a celing and be used as a pinata
The original film and the TV series were my introduction to the franchise, and I love them both equally. I didn’t find out about the sequels, the Raven spin-off, or the animated series until around 2000. That was a horrific month. Then, in 2009, I saw the anime attempt. Again, that was a horrible month.
…someone was *paid* for this script.
Get this: John C. McGinley claimed, in an interview, that he tried to base his performance off of Orson Welles. To his credit, however, he admitted that this may not have been the best of ideas.
And remember Highlander; the Gun is good! The Penis is bad!
god now I am depressed Thanks Noah
*Off to watch Highlander the only one*
1. A plot device that completely rewrites continuity instantly (as in really quick).
2. A quick excuse to allow for a sequel when none should logically exist.
3. A total middle finger to fans, because a quick(ening) buck is better than art.
hmmm… something like that I suppose. Maybe? Kinda.
Actually, the Quickening is what happened to the production of this movie, performed by firing the writers in favor of improvisation skills.
the video quality on the 2nd film is lower than the first film and it’s gone from widescreen to fullscreen. maybe it’s just where the recording is from (somehow) but if that’s just how it’s filmed that means that the 2nd film has not only lower story telling standards that rape the series to a degree and have giant plot holes the size of army trenches but it also has lower production value in an equipment standpoint. that’s also relevant with the lack of giant sprawling landscapes. instead we’re always in tiny rooms or crappy city sets… wow, this is both a bad highlander follow up and a lazy film creation.
this movie assaulted two worlds at once
1: the highlander expanded universe
2: the world of film making
bravo, just, bravo.
Btw, removing the Zeist thing makes this movie make even less sense. Think about it, without the Zeist rebellion shit, what motivation does Katana have for wanting to fight Macloed? Where does he come from? Why didn’t he go to the gathering?
Remember what Ramirez said “when only a few of us remain, we will feel an irresistible pull towards a distant land, to fight for the prize”. So if Katana doesn’t come from Zeist why in the fuck wasn’t he at the gathering?
Time travel! He went to the future and skipped the time of the Gathering and died after it already happened.
its smiple SPACE HULU
I cannot believe this ending.
The ending was possibly the single most cringe-worthy thing I have ever seen
Just a thought, wouldn’t it be a HILARIOUS ending if “NORMAL” meant “STILL GOING TO KILL ALL LIFE?” Maybe they should wait until that status indicator says “BELOW NORMAL” or “SAFE.”
Well, everyone’s been doing great without any oxygen for a while already, so I guess it wouldn’t matter much.
AH, no there that electrolosis device used on submarines, where you can extract Oxygen from sea water…. so odds are there are Big Oxygen plants…..OH THATS WHAT the price gouging on, (nah they not smart enough to think of that)
… sorry what?
idk, by the 12 minute mark, I’d have welcomed a fiery death
this is the first and only movie where i rage quit and through the tape out a window
spoony just wait there remaking Highlander
And its being directed by the same guy that did the Green Hornet…. Excuse me while I go cry for three hours.
Don’t discount the power of the writer. I’d say the actual direction of The Green Hornet was decent. It was the writing that failed.
I think the plot of Highlander 2 was written by a fan fic writer. NAH, no wait, there was no rape scene.
There rape of the audience was implied :-)
Ouch, Well caught There r3v’
No Fan fiction would denote they valued they liked the orginal movie…. rather than wanting to cash in while keeping the 2 big names…. lets face it Sean Especially is back from dead because They wanted him on the poster for marquee & he said yes.
Anyone notice that Sean Connery just rips the earring out? He doesn’t remove it or take any care; he just yanks it.
guess it was a clip-on….?
No, he’s immortal, so he knew it would heal right after. Like a badass.
LOL like a Boss. Sean Connory Fights Zombie Heads he dont take no crap from Jewerlery
You sure? i thought it was like ninja dexterity he used 1 free finger around back of his ear to unfassen (i dunno if the clip edited badly)
Please do Zardoz
you know what? fuck shooting Katana. being immortal doesn’t turn you into Superman, so Dr. Cocks could have just ordered his Storm Troopers to boot him in the head and cuff him. dude wouldn’t last 20 seconds
I always wondered what would happen if one of them got shot in the head… Or had their spine severed near the skull. After all THAT is a decapitation… would it still count or does the WHOLE dead need to be removed. If so then can you shotgun one to the head and get their powers? even if you are not immortal?
It’s a lot of questions and I wanted a sequel that could answer them but… it never happened.
I agree, suspension of disbelief is ok, but this cutting head of with a sword creates some questions. To that – what if you shoot a gatling gun so that bullet spray sorta cuts of the head?
I always got the impression, the head has to be cleanly removed, if there are big enough chunks, you get a wolverine effect and they will gradual regenerate (they never really explored…. they did the Zeist Shit, when they could have done prequels set between Highlander 1 Scotland orgin & Highlander 1 modern day (like the flash backs) and could have reall explored the underculture of the immortals and played with these ideas. Id have watched. Maybe Connor McCloud’s world tour coming to terms with his dead wife & mentor Ramierez…. could have been great. showing how he got the curio’s in his shop & things like the 3rd film teased us with. I mean in HL1 he said he been to a load of places.
I think the series kind of explained some of those sorts of questions. For instance, they made it clear that the Quickening hits the nearest immortal even if a mortal does the killing.
Hmmm…. But still using a shotgun is the best bet for decapitation. Instead of using a sword just shot him in the arm holding the sword, then walk up to him and use it on his face. No need for swords then! You don’t need to use swords when you can decapitate someone with more conventional means. Even making traps and junk that will do that as well. It is not rocket science!
You’re right, but in the series there WAS a guy who used firearms. He would incapacitate his opponents with a gun and then decapitate them whilst they were unconscious. But he was considered extremely dishonorable, so there weren’t many who did that.
Either way, have you ever actually heard of someone being decapitated by a shotgun blast? And even if it were vaguely possible, how reliable would that be?
If you really do want a “sequel” that tries to answer some of these questions, the series did try to answer quite a few, and you can watch it on Hulu.
Yeah 12 bore to the Neck a lot easier….. hell high explosives would work too. i mean just cause ya in bits… if that head is 1 of the seperate bits… i would assume that counts as decapitated…. yeah is ther a limit to how much body needs to be connected… since Immortals have Super Healing if hey have small chunk of chest does the body just grow back? i mean how far up the neck counts as decapiated?
Actually i did hear, the head has to be clean off… else they will be renders impared or paralised (which usually fine cause ya just finish the job) as far s Mortals Killing Immortals….If they some how manage…. id assume the quickening would kill an non immortal (ya know lightening explosion and stuff) i dunno what happens to the quickening powers….but i think what happens it kinda waits in the ether untill ”The Prize” is won then the last immortal attains it back.
I never watched the show though (thankfully) so i only speculate
How can the fuck up one of the greatest Scifi action movies ever no wonder Connery never brought this movie up when i meet him just gave me a dirty look
easy by making a Sci-Fi…. as a sequel to a Fantasy Movie… with out paying due divedence to continuity.
A minor thing to be sure, but it also seems to be normal daylight in Scotland as well. Maybe there’s a scene or explanation that I am completely missing here. Ah well, it would only stack up on the huge pile of confusion.
No no scene, i saw the original version amung others…. scotland just “immune” to the sheild i guess.
So wait… if the whole rebellion happened 500 years ago… what about the immortals that occurred before that point? Were they rebels from before then? Did the go voluntarily? And if you’re immortal on Zeist, which Katana had to be in order to still be alive 500 years later, why would you send them to Earth where they would also be immortal? Why not strap them to a piece of metal and send them adrift in space towards a black hole or something? Speaking of which, how close is Zeist anyway? If you can teleport people into another galaxy, why are they still using swords? Is this an entire race of beings who can only be killed through decapitation unless there is only one of them on a planet? If that’s the case why did they invent guns on their home planet?
I feel like if they had just made a prequel about some other immortal and ended it with him dying they would have been fine. You didn’t even need to make it about McCloud. Make it about some Roman centurion or Mongol warrior or a Shaolin Monk. This isn’t rocket science! Although since people on Zeist use teleportation, I have no idea if they have rockets. The crashed ship made it look like they had it… but it’s never used so who knows. I don’t, and I’m way to sober to be contemplating Highlander plot holes at the moment.
That was a solid Dr. Cox impression by Spoony.
“Webmistress” … that sounds incredibly kinky!
Why does the highlander series have so much crap…. it a solid concept and easily used with out breaking continuity of the first film….. as long as it set A few hours before the Kurgan is kill by McCloud (i forget did they actually state the exact date the “present” was?) … you can have any person, from any walk of life, with any country. (and Highlander would always be applicable (even if McCloud not the direct hero) because eventual… even if it decades down the line, the Immortal followed would either be killed directly by McCloud OR His essense passed to him During the final Quickening at the end of the film.
oooooooohhhhhhh hes not doctor cox anymore
DR. PERRY COX!!! Anyone else?
I like it how Connery while in Scotland runs into a Cockney(English), that guy who said “nice threads” (possibly Australian?) and then finally a posh English guy. Last time I checked there were Scottish people in Scotland.
man, come to think of it, the motto pretty much sums up a good movie: there can be only ONE. there are exemptions, of course, such as trilogies which tell one large story, such as star wars or the lord of the rings, but you should make it as though it were the one and only one. it can’t ride on the coattails of its predecessors. there are FAR too many examples of this. there can, and SHOULD, be only ONE!
Now that I think about it, how did Katana and the insainos get to earth with the plannetary shield in place? funny how the more you think about it, it seems the writers think less of this.
I wonder why Spoony didn’t mention Highlander: The Search for Vengeance. Even if its nowhere near as good as the 1st Highlander movie its still better than Highlander 2, Highlander 3 & Highlander Endgame.
my major question is: if Ramirez was on Zeist 500 years ago how could he be on earth 2500 years before meeting Conner in the 1st movie?