The Spoony Experiment - Because bad movies and games deserve to be hurt back!

Anonymous

Is it even the same writer for these movies? Also, you needed a “What The Fuck” counter.

Anonymous

Pretty sure that would break by the time this movie was over.
- Anonymous
  
  I’m pretty sure it would break from just the Queen sequence, let alone the ending and all of the violation of the basic tenants of Highlander.
- Anonymous
  
  I’m pretty sure it would break from just the Queen sequence, let alone the ending and all of the violation of the basic tenants of Highlander.
- Anonymous
  
  I’m pretty sure it would break from just the Queen sequence, let alone the ending and all of the violation of the basic tenants of Highlander.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Timo-Takalo/503889411 Timo Takalo

According to IMDB, neither of the people involved in writing this abomination have ever done a single other screenplay before or after.

Anonymous

Nice shout out to Until We Win

Anonymous

Nice shout out to Until We Win

http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-Jennings/1302407658 Rob Jennings

My beloved Queen! Bastards! What they did to the original Highlander! Bastards! Would it make me a lesser man to go curl up in a fetal position and cry now?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-Jennings/1302407658 Rob Jennings

My beloved Queen! Bastards! What they did to the original Highlander! Bastards! Would it make me a lesser man to go curl up in a fetal position and cry now?

Anonymous

Not much else to say that I didn’t say in the Part One comments except that I was actually afraid that your head might explode for a moment there, Spoony.

Anonymous

I think your rage broke, Spoony.

Anonymous

woah watching this and the live stream weird 0.o
I see the gunblade I’m scared to watch

Anonymous

What the fuck was with the combat in this movie? It’s obvious nobody knew choreography worth a shit so they just basically used anime speed-lines for everything. To say nothing of the ridiculous plot, horrible set-design (I get it, they love green screens!) and just… well, everything. This movie is un-defendable as a movie, let along a Highlander sequel! It’s pissing me off and I’m not even a fan of the series!

http://www.facebook.com/turtlenumber13 Josh Turtle Paddock

So instead of a quickening for a finale Duncan got a quicky. I’m Glad I never watched this movie… It really does seem to break all the rules that no fan wants to see broken.

http://www.facebook.com/turtlenumber13 Josh Turtle Paddock

So instead of a quickening for a finale Duncan got a quicky. I’m Glad I never watched this movie… It really does seem to break all the rules that no fan wants to see broken.

http://www.facebook.com/turtlenumber13 Josh Turtle Paddock

So instead of a quickening for a finale Duncan got a quicky. I’m Glad I never watched this movie… It really does seem to break all the rules that no fan wants to see broken.

Anonymous

Great review. Say could you post a link to Pat’s “Show must go on” song.

Anonymous

Here’s the thing. George Lucas is an inept filmmaker, director, and writer. But you can at least say that he knows what his films are *about*. Star Wars, at its core, is about making moral choices; The Force is just a plot device to enhance this. And crappy though the prequels were, even they held true to this central theme.

The same goes for Highlander 2. It was rancid and *violently* stupid. But it’s assault on the franchise was based on continuity, not a betrayal of the franchise’s basic principles (immortal people fighting each other in a millenia-long game to claim the prize by being the last). Even Highlander 2 held true to the “There can be only one,” ideal, even if it tacked on “on Earth” at the end of that.

Highlander Endgame *could* have been a good movie. The basic plot idea was fine; there was nothing fundamentally wrong that a good script doctor, better directors, and competent actors couldn’t cure. Endgame was bad because it was a horrible movie.

But The Source? This film was obviously made by bumbling inepts, but it was also made by bumbling inepts that *hate Highlander*. It’s a film so bad and so much of a betrayal of the franchise that it isn’t even worth *swearing at*. Calling it “shit” is *too good* for the film. It’s crap.

It isn’t even plain and simple crap. Or pure crap. It’s a film so bad that it doesn’t deserve *adjectives*.

Anonymous

Here’s the thing. George Lucas is an inept filmmaker, director, and writer. But you can at least say that he knows what his films are *about*. Star Wars, at its core, is about making moral choices; The Force is just a plot device to enhance this. And crappy though the prequels were, even they held true to this central theme.

The same goes for Highlander 2. It was rancid and *violently* stupid. But it’s assault on the franchise was based on continuity, not a betrayal of the franchise’s basic principles (immortal people fighting each other in a millenia-long game to claim the prize by being the last). Even Highlander 2 held true to the “There can be only one,” ideal, even if it tacked on “on Earth” at the end of that.

Highlander Endgame *could* have been a good movie. The basic plot idea was fine; there was nothing fundamentally wrong that a good script doctor, better directors, and competent actors couldn’t cure. Endgame was bad because it was a horrible movie.

But The Source? This film was obviously made by bumbling inepts, but it was also made by bumbling inepts that *hate Highlander*. It’s a film so bad and so much of a betrayal of the franchise that it isn’t even worth *swearing at*. Calling it “shit” is *too good* for the film. It’s crap.

It isn’t even plain and simple crap. Or pure crap. It’s a film so bad that it doesn’t deserve *adjectives*.

Scirocco

The “I’m the guardian” thing at the end reminds me of Lucas Lee

Scirocco

The “I’m the guardian” thing at the end reminds me of Lucas Lee

http://twitter.com/SupahPowers Patrick Powers

THE PAWER UV FRENDSHIP. This just looks like some really bad shounen anime someone tried making with real people. Only a 7 year old boy with too many hours poured into star wars and indy jones would like this.

Anonymous

I beg to differ. I watched some of the filler episodes of Naruto (after which I had a short stay in a mental hospital). Even THEY still weren’t as bad as this movie (which I thought would have been impossible). At least shounen anime own good fighting scenes and have a stable if cheesy end-game result. This was a lot worse. The end result wasn’t friendship, it wasn’t even love or any of that crap it was “if you’re a nice guy and you touch the glowing light thingy you get to bang this chick and have a kid.”

… And yes, this is even worse than some of the shoujo I watched in the distant past, and I sat through the first season of the Fushigi Yuugi (never, ever, ever watch that show if you don’t want to go insane and start swinging an axe in the proximity of someone’s neck). When you’ve sunk lower than one of the crappiest shoujo anime of all time, you have officially damned yourself to the seventh circle of hell. I have it on good authority that the seventh circle is also the one Stephanie Meyer has a reservation for, THAT’S how bad this movie is.
Anonymous

I beg to differ. I watched some of the filler episodes of Naruto (after which I had a short stay in a mental hospital). Even THEY still weren’t as bad as this movie (which I thought would have been impossible). At least shounen anime own good fighting scenes and have a stable if cheesy end-game result. This was a lot worse. The end result wasn’t friendship, it wasn’t even love or any of that crap it was “if you’re a nice guy and you touch the glowing light thingy you get to bang this chick and have a kid.”

… And yes, this is even worse than some of the shoujo I watched in the distant past, and I sat through the first season of the Fushigi Yuugi (never, ever, ever watch that show if you don’t want to go insane and start swinging an axe in the proximity of someone’s neck). When you’ve sunk lower than one of the crappiest shoujo anime of all time, you have officially damned yourself to the seventh circle of hell. I have it on good authority that the seventh circle is also the one Stephanie Meyer has a reservation for, THAT’S how bad this movie is.

http://twitter.com/SupahPowers Patrick Powers

THE PAWER UV FRENDSHIP. This just looks like some really bad shounen anime someone tried making with real people. Only a 7 year old boy with too many hours poured into star wars and indy jones would like this.

http://twitter.com/SupahPowers Patrick Powers

THE PAWER UV FRENDSHIP. This just looks like some really bad shounen anime someone tried making with real people. Only a 7 year old boy with too many hours poured into star wars and indy jones would like this.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TYGNVMNXPXYR4IUNXWVCZEZCYQ The God Emperor

HADDAGEBURN?! HADDAGEBURN, HADDAGEBURN?!

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TYGNVMNXPXYR4IUNXWVCZEZCYQ The God Emperor

HADDAGEBURN?! HADDAGEBURN, HADDAGEBURN?!

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TYGNVMNXPXYR4IUNXWVCZEZCYQ The God Emperor

HADDAGEBURN?! HADDAGEBURN, HADDAGEBURN?!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Rick-Parsley/1204761224 Rick Parsley

See … I now wonder if Highlander wasn’t always shit, they just lucked out with the first film. They didn’t really know what they were doing, it could easily have been as crap as ALL the other Highlander movies and shows etc, they just got really, really, lucky and somehow it worked.

Spoony, I wondered whether you knew the first movie was originally different to the version we all know today?

I never saw the FIRST, first edition of the first film, as it was only shown in the USA to the best of my knowledge. The British gaming magazine White Dwarf reviewed that original version and MASSIVELY slated it as being absolute rubbish – but then later posted a second review of the version which reached Britain (the version we all know today), which was apparently VERY VERY different to the original American version the reviewer originally saw. The reviewer thus felt obliged to post a second review of the new edition explaining this one was radically different, almost an entirely different movie which improved the bad stuff in almost every way.

So … was that first great movie we know and love actually originally as bad as all the other Highlander movies?

Btw, personally, I’m unconvinced the Source (which I’m glad to say I’ve not seen and never will) is in fact worse than Highlander 2. See, I think disappointment has to be a factor in your lack of enjoyment of a movie and by now surely no one expects new Highlander movies to be good? So the disappointment factor is greatly reduced, yeah the movie is atrocious, but then surely you expected … no, knew! … it was going to be. When we old school fans went into the movie theatres to see Highlander 2 for the first time we had no such cushion of cynicism, we went in like lambs to the slaughter. We didn’t know, man … we just didn’t know. It was like going into a room expecting to sit down to your favourite meal and in fact being coshed from behind and waking up strapped faced down on a torture table, while ‘the homes’ from Pulp Fiction strapped on their leather behind you. That remains a factor in my hatred for Highlander 2. That sickening disappointment.

Anonymous

The original writer must’ve slaved for months trying to realize what makes the immortal qualities interesting and how it can be exploited. And the rules must’ve gone under flux a number of times to make the screenplay work. And it DID work. It worked fantastically. But that’s because everything in the Highlander mythos was created in service to THAT script.

And that’s how all stories of fantasy should be done. Special qualities, designs, and effects should never stray from their original directive: To align in service to the story.

Spoony was absolutely right in the H2:Quickening review. There was no wiggle room for a sequel whatsoever. Perhaps a prequel, though. But there will be a remake, and if the Iron Man cast is worth the salt I gave them credit for, I look forward to it. But then again, I feel like I should know better than to get my hopes up for the climate of Hollywood these days.
http://twitter.com/AJRImmer5 AJRimmer

You haven’t seen? Oh, you simply MUST see! Especially if you are a fan of the series. One thing that cannot be captured in a review is how incongruous the whole thing is: we are used to reviewer skipping from scene to scene so we allow for skips… But this movie does the same thing in actuality. It is a BAD movie. So bad, in fact, I laughed my ass off watching it with out the review. It really is ridiculous. XD

But I do agree, the disappointment factor is huge in determining how truly awful a movie sequel is: Jurassic Park anyone?

Anonymous

Oh. My. God.

You weren’t kidding when you said that this hadn’t even begun to suck.

Also, LOL @ 6:12.

http://twitter.com/TommyWishow Adolf Hitler

Oh Spoony, you can’t have a quickening unless you reviewed Highlander 3!

Anonymous

“Who wants… to live… forever!?”

I cracked up so hard!

Anonymous

“Who wants… to live… forever!?”

I cracked up so hard!

http://twitter.com/AJRImmer5 AJRimmer

So now, cut back to all the other immortals left – and if this franchise has taught us anything it’s that there are always plenty more left after the “end” – and catch their reaction to this new definition of There-can-be-only-one….

(1st immortal): “What the frack? I went around chopping heads for 800 years so I could win, what, the chance to knock up some of the women I sleep with? Oh, yeah! That was worth it! I’m glad we went around killing each other for that!”

(2nd immortal): “Do you think we all need to wear rubbers now, or just him?”

(3rd immortal): “God, I hope not! I mean, way to screw up a sweet gig… First you get to live forever, but since no one could guess that the prize, oops, “source” was something so insignificant and stupid we all assume it’s like world domination or something and spend what could have been a bliss filled eternity screwing gorgeous women through out time without fear of consequences and generally outliving the hell out of everyone, no! We get to spend our lives in transient fear fighting for our heads. Now, someone’s gone and shown our lives to be a waste, and to top it all off, taken away the consequence-less sex!!! Yeah, Thanks!”

(Methos [the real Methos, not the poor Methos that was forced to say those words and act that way because the script said so that was presented in the movies, but the REAL Methos]: on the floor in hysterical spasms at how his 6000 years of life have been ultimately without any purpose whatsoever.)

Now the utter ass rapery of what Connor, Ramirez, The Kurgan and so many believed to be their purpose in life, has been fucked over to a mere shell of the grandeur it once held, to now include, alimony payments. Can we please have Zeist back? Compared to the Source, Zeist seems well thought out, inviting, and totally Oscar worthy.

http://twitter.com/AJRImmer5 AJRimmer

So now, cut back to all the other immortals left – and if this franchise has taught us anything it’s that there are always plenty more left after the “end” – and catch their reaction to this new definition of There-can-be-only-one….

(1st immortal): “What the frack? I went around chopping heads for 800 years so I could win, what, the chance to knock up some of the women I sleep with? Oh, yeah! That was worth it! I’m glad we went around killing each other for that!”

(2nd immortal): “Do you think we all need to wear rubbers now, or just him?”

(3rd immortal): “God, I hope not! I mean, way to screw up a sweet gig… First you get to live forever, but since no one could guess that the prize, oops, “source” was something so insignificant and stupid we all assume it’s like world domination or something and spend what could have been a bliss filled eternity screwing gorgeous women through out time without fear of consequences and generally outliving the hell out of everyone, no! We get to spend our lives in transient fear fighting for our heads. Now, someone’s gone and shown our lives to be a waste, and to top it all off, taken away the consequence-less sex!!! Yeah, Thanks!”

(Methos [the real Methos, not the poor Methos that was forced to say those words and act that way because the script said so that was presented in the movies, but the REAL Methos]: on the floor in hysterical spasms at how his 6000 years of life have been ultimately without any purpose whatsoever.)

Now the utter ass rapery of what Connor, Ramirez, The Kurgan and so many believed to be their purpose in life, has been fucked over to a mere shell of the grandeur it once held, to now include, alimony payments. Can we please have Zeist back? Compared to the Source, Zeist seems well thought out, inviting, and totally Oscar worthy.

http://www.facebook.com/nille.paulson Nils Paulson

How dare they fuck up a Queen song!!! RAGE!!!”!#!”egwjsefh

The_Hut

Giovanni’s head pops off like a rock’em sock’em robot!

The_Hut

Giovanni’s head pops off like a rock’em sock’em robot!

Anonymous

If the planets were that close to earth there would be no earth. Mostly because you can fit 4 earths into the Eye of Jupiter. And that’s a pretty damn small part of Jupiter. How could the screenwriter put down “planets are now visible to the naked eye” without the words “gravity” “impossible” or “literal stupidity” crossing his mind?

Why am I going on about the planet thing? Because THAT WAS STILL THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE. That’s how bad this thing is!

How stupid ARE the filmmakers of this movie? Wait… I think I just answered my own question.

God, I can’t believe how bad things got in the end. Anyone remember the first movie? How good it was? What did humanity do to deserve THIS? Was it the Bible? The Koran? The freaking Popol Vuh? Was it the tendency we have to kill small furry animals and wear their skins? COME ON! If it’s all the genocide, believe me we can fix that by killing all the people involved. Please, will SOME deity out there just come and bail humanity out of the mess of highlander movies?

Anonymous

If the planets were that close to earth there would be no earth. Mostly because you can fit 4 earths into the Eye of Jupiter. And that’s a pretty damn small part of Jupiter. How could the screenwriter put down “planets are now visible to the naked eye” without the words “gravity” “impossible” or “literal stupidity” crossing his mind?

Why am I going on about the planet thing? Because THAT WAS STILL THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE. That’s how bad this thing is!

How stupid ARE the filmmakers of this movie? Wait… I think I just answered my own question.

God, I can’t believe how bad things got in the end. Anyone remember the first movie? How good it was? What did humanity do to deserve THIS? Was it the Bible? The Koran? The freaking Popol Vuh? Was it the tendency we have to kill small furry animals and wear their skins? COME ON! If it’s all the genocide, believe me we can fix that by killing all the people involved. Please, will SOME deity out there just come and bail humanity out of the mess of highlander movies?

The_Hut

They do clips of the entire movie in the last 6 minutes. Seriously, you didn’t need to watch this movie. Just watch the last few minutes and you don’t miss a thing.

http://twitter.com/Keilloh MASTER OF TIME

Spoony!
Stop calling a Mullet a Mohawk!
Mullets are not Mohawks!

dennett316

What Billy Idol-a-like had wasn’t a mullet either…..I’m not sure what the hell it was actually, it was neither mullet nor mohawk. A MulletHawk?
- http://twitter.com/boogybunny Mireille Sillander
  
  Mullawk?
  Actually, I think he looks more like the bastard spawn of Ziggy Stardust and The Situation.
Anonymous

As a man WITH a Mullet, I was thinking the same thing every time spoony said it, heh. Billy Stardust there *almost* has a Jerry Springer Mini-Mullet, but it’s certainly not a mohawk.

Though in all fairness, if my brains weren’t already fried by having a Mullet, this character’s very appearance would kill enough of my brain cells to the point where I’d start calling charlie brown’s hairdo a Mullet.

Anonymous

I thought for a moment you just edited in the Queen song. When I realized the truth, though I…I think have developed an ulcer out of sheer rage.

Anonymous

I thought for a moment you just edited in the Queen song. When I realized the truth, though I…I think have developed an ulcer out of sheer rage.

The_Hut

It’s not over either. They are remaking the original Highlander movie. It will be released in …. wait for it…. 2012. THE MAYANS WARNED US!

Anonymous

No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I can’t take this anymore! How many of these damn things do they plan to make?!
Anonymous

No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I can’t take this anymore! How many of these damn things do they plan to make?!
Anonymous

No. No. No. No. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I can’t take this anymore! How many of these damn things do they plan to make?!
dennett316

Oh God….Justin Beiber as Connor MacCleod. AAAAAAAAARGH! You know they’ll PG-13 the hell out of it and the cast will be the first thing they fuck up.
http://Xaotikdesigns.com Adam

Lets be hopeful. Look how they saved Batman. There is some small glimmer of hope that this will be an awesome movie.

Of course, that’s how they get us, isn’t it. Using that small glimmer of hope to draw us in, just to snap their jaws shut on us like some viscous angler fish. A viscous rape hungry angler fish…
http://Xaotikdesigns.com Adam

Lets be hopeful. Look how they saved Batman. There is some small glimmer of hope that this will be an awesome movie.

Of course, that’s how they get us, isn’t it. Using that small glimmer of hope to draw us in, just to snap their jaws shut on us like some viscous angler fish. A viscous rape hungry angler fish…

http://www.facebook.com/people/Evan-Psencik/669671734 Evan Psencik

The guardian totally sounds like The Gatekeeper at the end… or The Gatecleaner.
DO EEEET!
DO EET YOU MAGGOOOOT!

Anonymous

Jesus, the credits song.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661037953 James Enri

Horrible movie.

Nice gunblade spoony. Also, I want to know what your thoughts on the third movie.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661037953 James Enri

Horrible movie.

Nice gunblade spoony. Also, I want to know what your thoughts on the third movie.

http://twitter.com/Figh7heSky Steffen K. Mitchell

Well, yeah, Spoony. The world was overtaken by roving bands of cannibals in the time between Endgame and The Source.
You must have missed Highlander: The Road.

Anonymous

Is it weird that I did the “THIS. IS. SPARTA!” at the exact same time as Spoony?
Awesome review Spoon!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-MacFarlane/100001063097428 Daniel MacFarlane

And yet they made another Highlander-related tie in in recent years, The Search for Vengeance, a Japanese-produced animated film which seems to be set in a completely different continuity entirely starring Colin MacLeod. It also happens to be completely unbelievable in that it manages to be genuinely half-decent.

Anonymous

… And now you know what scares me? I heard something about a remake of the original Highlander… And seeing this, i can only hope it’s not real.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503758513 Jack Tytherleigh

When he’s running on the roof, watch it, it goes from slates, to bricks, back again to slates! and the bricks wobble! Also, anybody else think that the guardian absorbed the ultimate warrior at some point?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503758513 Jack Tytherleigh

When he’s running on the roof, watch it, it goes from slates, to bricks, back again to slates! and the bricks wobble! Also, anybody else think that the guardian absorbed the ultimate warrior at some point?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503758513 Jack Tytherleigh

When he’s running on the roof, watch it, it goes from slates, to bricks, back again to slates! and the bricks wobble! Also, anybody else think that the guardian absorbed the ultimate warrior at some point?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=503758513 Jack Tytherleigh

Thinking about it this actually reminds me so much of a show that used to be on channel 4, Spoonster, if you ever get a chance, try and catch an episode of “Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace” It’s intentionally bad but takes itself seriously, the writers claim to fame and main bragging rite being that he’s “One of the few people who have written more books than he’s read” (Which sounds suspiciously like one or 2 people who i went to university with…)

EDIT: I am in no way saying that The Source was intentionally bad, that achieved that honour all on its own merit DX

Anonymous

,,,so the source just gives you a kid? Just…fucking adopt

http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Gibbon/1060280172 Paul Gibbon

But you see, someone could never love an adopted or surrogate child as much as they love one that shares their DNA. It can just never be the same.

…yeah, that message shows up a lot in media, and it’s quite obnoxious.

Anonymous

Good morning, Spoony and fellow Spooners.

1. Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I like the Sci-Fi Channel’s “Dune” and “Children of Dune”, as well as “Farscape”. So the channel wasn’t a complete loss.
2. I was hoping for some kind of Quickening at the end of one of these “Highlander” reviews. The idea that it did absolutely nothing for Spoony was a nice, unexpected touch.
3. I’ve seen the first “Highlander”. It wasn’t bad, but I have NO IDEA how that movie could make people this loyal to the series. At least the TV show “Heroes” gave people an entire first season of good stories before spending the next three seasons infuriating the Hell out of most of its fanbase.
4. As for “Star Trek Voyager” sucking, “Scorpion” and “Year of Hell” were good. I can think of a few others, but their names escape me at the moment.

Anonymous

Oh, and as for the planets being that close to Earth, even Thundarr the Barbarian got the effects of that sorta right.

Anonymous

Oh, and as for the planets being that close to Earth, even Thundarr the Barbarian got the effects of that sorta right.

Anonymous

Okay… during the closing credits with Pat singing, the strangest thing ever happened. All the birds simultaneously just dropped off the trees… dead. Never before have I seen anything like that in my life…. :D

dennett316

It rained frogs here in Blackpool…..do you think it means something? I mean, I’m an awful singer and I’ve never made it rain amphibious life….kudos to Pat.
- Anonymous
  
  Nah, it’s probably nothing to get hung about. Just some weird coincidence, that’s all…
  - Anonymous
    
    In Australia 3 two-headed cats were born from a goat with boils, a murder of crows died mid-flight (ironically) due to a freak series of lightning bolts, and 76 cows dropped dead of dehydration in one hour.
    
    I’m not quite sure why, but this was within a couple of hours of that video hitting the net…
    
    Oh wait, that last one might have just been because of the horrible draught that has wiped out half our agricultural stock, Ba-dum-dum-chh… (Ow! My keyboard jumped up and hit me in the face again!)
  - Scirocco
    
    my giant descending fan stopped

Anonymous

Okay… during the closing credits with Pat singing, the strangest thing ever happened. All the birds simultaneously just dropped off the trees… dead. Never before have I seen anything like that in my life…. :D

Anonymous

….Were you hoping to absorb the power and knowledge of the Jaguar CD? …..Do you -want- that?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Simeon-Ivanov/100000521101770 Simeon Ivanov

1. I yelled ”The Is Sparta” simultaneously with the Spoony One xD How awesome is that?
2. The … Agh … Blargh … He drills him into the ground … he DRILLS him … into the ground …
3. I just … The … The source gives you a child … Just f*cking adopt you f*cking assminor!!!
4. The Mortal Kombat fights are better than this piece of crap …
5. The ”Super speed” special effects are some lame I facepalmed and gaged at the same time
6. Nice Gunblade :)
7. Queen … QUEEN? NO!! Leave Queen alove movie!!!! Fuck your ass with a rusty gunblade!!!
8. Oh God … I can’t believe this movie exists … I mean … I can make a better movie with my friends and a simple camera …
[...]
14. THIS is how they rewards the fans of the series??? THIS???
[...]
45. I still can’t get over the fact that THE PLANETS ARE BIGGER THAN THE FRIKKIN MOON!!! WOW!!!
[...]
184. I don’t even … what is this?

Anonymous

wow… i dont think ive ever seen you so angry during a review, spoony :O

http://twitter.com/zodd88 Guido Palombi

The final battle reminded me a bit the one at the end of The chronichles of Riddick, but WAAAAAAAAAAY crappier.
Oh, and I think my soul has been completely shattered by that Queen raping…

http://www.facebook.com/adatura Boy Datura

the closing song of pat singing the show must go on by queen ? can anyone link me to the source footage ? it sounds pretty stellar & I respect anyone who is willing to make an ass of themselves at karaoke, that aside great job spoony very very funny

http://twitter.com/boogybunny Mireille Sillander

Soooo.. is Anna Whatherface an immortal too? If she’s not, couldn’t she just get impregnated by someone else? Regular couples do that all the time. No bebehs from him, then get the bebehs from a kind donor and you totally have biological offspring AND a relationship with your One True Love. If she is an immortal it’s not really going to get her any more pregnant to breakup with Adrian Paul.
Did the logistics of getting pregnant just not occur to anyone writing this? You don’t get pregnant by getting married, nor does a Zeistian stork bring them when your heart is pure and you really really want it.

http://twitter.com/boogybunny Mireille Sillander

Soooo.. is Anna Whatherface an immortal too? If she’s not, couldn’t she just get impregnated by someone else? Regular couples do that all the time. No bebehs from him, then get the bebehs from a kind donor and you totally have biological offspring AND a relationship with your One True Love. If she is an immortal it’s not really going to get her any more pregnant to breakup with Adrian Paul.
Did the logistics of getting pregnant just not occur to anyone writing this? You don’t get pregnant by getting married, nor does a Zeistian stork bring them when your heart is pure and you really really want it.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=533945564 Richard Humphries

Hey Spoony,

What about Highlander: The Final Dimension, you’ve skipped over that one.

Anonymous

I don’t think Spoony is going to do that one because he always says it was okay.
- Anonymous
  
  After this one, anything seems at least okay…
- Anonymous
  
  After this one, anything seems at least okay…

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=533945564 Richard Humphries

Hey Spoony,

What about Highlander: The Final Dimension, you’ve skipped over that one.

Anonymous

Excellent review Spoony. I now know the pain that those who can shout “There can be only one!” now feel thanks to the collective mass of one thousand amateur screenwriters taking out all unique and sensible input with the remains thrown into a deep morass of the long forgotten studios and TV stations. I can’t say that the remake will be better, but we can only hope.

Anonymous

Excellent review Spoony. I now know the pain that those who can shout “There can be only one!” now feel thanks to the collective mass of one thousand amateur screenwriters taking out all unique and sensible input with the remains thrown into a deep morass of the long forgotten studios and TV stations. I can’t say that the remake will be better, but we can only hope.

Anonymous

Excellent review Spoony. I now know the pain that those who can shout “There can be only one!” now feel thanks to the collective mass of one thousand amateur screenwriters taking out all unique and sensible input with the remains thrown into a deep morass of the long forgotten studios and TV stations. I can’t say that the remake will be better, but we can only hope.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Piers/517445823 Nick Piers

So…you liked it?

http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Piers/517445823 Nick Piers

So…you liked it?

http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

The cover of Born to the Kings wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, it was done by somebody who doesn’t have the angelic gifts of Freddie Mercury and the rest of Queen, but still: its good for a mortal. Come on!

Also the Guardian dude is fucking hilarious and awesome. He made this review for me.

Anonymous

You mean, the writers were like Bella Swan with regards to continuity?

And by the way, that only works when you are Immortal.

Anonymous

I think the Guardian could have been cool if he was more like a silent Michael Myers-type figure instead of this goofy bastard mugging for the camera. Are we supposed to be intimidated by him?

http://twitter.com/Figh7heSky Steffen K. Mitchell

I’m taking it that The Guardian was supposed to be like The Kurgan, but Clancy Brown was too busy making Krabby patties to take part in this fine film.

But yeah, though that’s probably what they were going for, they failed with vim and gusto, didn’t they? I like your idea. He would be a much more imposing figure if he was silent and predatory like Michael Meyers.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Gibbon/1060280172 Paul Gibbon
  
  Really, every villain in the Highlander movies is a failed attempt to replicate the Kurgan.

Anonymous

Good fucking god. I think I got cancer just from what you showed us.

http://dragonacesg7.livejournal.com/profile Dragons_Dusk

…
wow…

congrats on feeling strong enough health wise to review the Source…. I guess…

yikes, I think I rather go watch something that makes sense, where’s me some TNA impact?

http://www.facebook.com/aron.marczylo Aron Marczylo

The singing by pat felt like a ear rape…

Anyway, I actually bought this DVD before I realised that it was not highlander, but some shitty film. Never watched mostly because the Quickening scared off any attempt that the series could’ve been done well.

Anonymous

After all this Highlander stuff is said and done, which I assume it is now(?), I can say I’ve never felt more pity for a group of fans of anything. I complained that the FF series betrayed the people who loved it with garbage like 12, 13 and 14, but Christ.. the Highlander people have just been getting assfucked with a barbed dildo for decades.

Anonymous

After all this Highlander stuff is said and done, which I assume it is now(?), I can say I’ve never felt more pity for a group of fans of anything. I complained that the FF series betrayed the people who loved it with garbage like 12, 13 and 14, but Christ.. the Highlander people have just been getting assfucked with a barbed dildo for decades.

Anonymous

Shit! This is worse than Endgame, and Endgame is shit! But then again Highlander is a shitty series.

http://www.facebook.com/morganlynnpotts Morgan Potts

When the fans can come up with better origin stories for the existence of immortals than the creators then you know something is wrong. I think the best i’ve ever heard related to the immortals being the descendants of the Nephilim.

http://www.facebook.com/morganlynnpotts Morgan Potts

When the fans can come up with better origin stories for the existence of immortals than the creators then you know something is wrong. I think the best i’ve ever heard related to the immortals being the descendants of the Nephilim.

Anonymous

There was so much room for a Hulk Hogan joke while mentioning Immortals so many times. I am surprised he didn’t use it.

http://dragonacesg7.livejournal.com/profile Dragons_Dusk

Maybe he’s saving it for the reverse, to reference this movie while having to explain stuff from TNA Impact.

Anonymous

There was so much room for a Hulk Hogan joke while mentioning Immortals so many times. I am surprised he didn’t use it.

http://www.facebook.com/mgalusick Michael Galusick

So is this the “Highlander Experiment” website now?

Anonymous

All I could think of whenever the Guardian was on screen was the guy from Erasure’s Always music video. Ya know, the Robot Unicorn Attack song. Don’t believe me? Go youtube it and be amazed! Oh ya, and this movie was shit yadda yadda…. I would just be stating the obvious at this point. Great review as always and AMAZING job at the charity drive last night! The first 5 min alone had me dying. So glad you didn’t break anything this time.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3MN7TE4FC3KLGKMR5LB4HNHAVU Declan

Spoony but I hate to say this but they’re remaking the “Highlander” with writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway writing the script, with release scheduled for 2011

http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Baca/100001475108838 Justin Baca

This movie made me say: Why, Why, Why, And Why?

Anonymous

The scary thing about The Source is that it was planned to be the first of a three-part story arc. How? Why? Where could it possibly go from here?! Amazing they were pretentious enough to think they’d get funding for even a Source 2. Ridiculous. Also, in the “Russian” cut of The Source, not only did Duncan spin around Gaurdian like Daffy Duck on acid, but Anna got tractor-beamed up into the planets behind her and spun circles even faster than Duncan while moaning like a damn porn star, lol, plus there was no stupid montage recap either.

Kudos to Pat for putting himself up as the sacrificial lamb of awesome on that stage as he proceeded to slaughter himself and that song.

Anonymous

The whole baby thing…is not that bad…I mean this actually make sense. Instead of being immortal by power, they actually become immortal by the fact they have a children who pass on their existence. If you look to the whole series(movie, series, anime), the whole thing about the fact immortal can’t have children seem important, they always put that issue, is actually the only thing who seem relevant and from the first movie. I’m not saying it should be the only prize…specially if you look to someone like The Kurgan, the only reason he would accept to raise a child, is to trow him into a pit.

Now, the rest is pure crap. Even the head protection is kinda stupid, because the Guardian don’t need a protection. First he have super speed, making him clearly invulnerable to attack, he actually choose to be hurt; which actually make sense, because he want to be killed. They try to suggest that being the guardian is not a good thing. Sure the guy have super speed and possibly others powers, but he also been cursed by becoming the guardian…so what the hell he want to survive, to kill the others, or to use a inverse helmet. Second reason why the whole helmet don’t make sense, he survive with a sword put in his throat…sure the guy has been not decapitated, but even for a immortal this actually seem to hurt, to do something…but no this actually do nothing, establishing by the same fact is probably not gonna die that easily. The only reason he would need the helmet is because this is actually part of the fucking curse….which don’t explain why suddenly and magically he loose the whole protection. There no way to explain this, no reason, no explication. The only character who need that helmet are the others immortal…which open the question…WHY NEVER BEFORE SOMEONE USED THIS? I mean the most lazy, stupid, insipid, bad, screenwriter actually manage to find something good and new(and being the most lazy, stupid, insipid, bad screenwriter ever just screwed up the whole idea)…and nobody actually though it could be interesting, did that actually mean the others immortal are even more stupid.

The Elder what is that thing….first who put him on(or IN) that chair, he supposedly been cursed immediately, which I suppose become effective at best some weeks after the curse, a painful and long transformation. Did the person(the source?) actually made a temple for him to rest and to be protected, a way for the others immortal not kill him, and let him suffer….oups this actually don’t make any sense, well not anymore, because nobody seem to have problem to kill in a sacred place now. And by the way, if he is called The Elder did this actually mean the guy is even older than Methos.

By the way what actually happen to Methos. Did he die by the hand of the cannibals? Did he became mortal after Duncan bang is new wife? What happen to him…Personally I hope is dead, no more sacrilege to actually one of the rare good character of the series, the other being Joe(trully the serie have only three good character Ritchie, Joe, and Methos)

http://www.facebook.com/people/Marcus-Bammel/100000721627311 Marcus Bammel

“The only character who need that helmet are the others immortal…which open the question…WHY NEVER BEFORE SOMEONE USED THIS?”It make sense, if you think about the first movie, where these whole immortal fighting was a game. Wearing such a protection, would be against the rules, like fighting on holy ground. But since the second movie all spin-offs accumulate to fuck on the “game”-aspect of the original movie. It makes no sense to not wear such armor.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Marcus-Bammel/100000721627311 Marcus Bammel

“The only character who need that helmet are the others immortal…which open the question…WHY NEVER BEFORE SOMEONE USED THIS?”It make sense, if you think about the first movie, where these whole immortal fighting was a game. Wearing such a protection, would be against the rules, like fighting on holy ground. But since the second movie all spin-offs accumulate to fuck on the “game”-aspect of the original movie. It makes no sense to not wear such armor.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Marcus-Bammel/100000721627311 Marcus Bammel

“The only character who need that helmet are the others immortal…which open the question…WHY NEVER BEFORE SOMEONE USED THIS?”It make sense, if you think about the first movie, where these whole immortal fighting was a game. Wearing such a protection, would be against the rules, like fighting on holy ground. But since the second movie all spin-offs accumulate to fuck on the “game”-aspect of the original movie. It makes no sense to not wear such armor.

Anonymous

Without Christopher Lambert it’s Fakelander anyway.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Baca/100001475108838 Justin Baca

And how did the planets go back to orbit?

BroJon

MacLeod’s spinning maneuver not only drove The Guardian into the ground, it also unwound the centripetal anomalies of the planetary orbits. Either that, or it was the power of love.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Baca/100001475108838 Justin Baca
  
  Oh my God, that is really extremely poor writing
  - http://twitter.com/Figh7heSky Steffen K. Mitchell
    
    Well, you know. . .
    The power of love is a curious thing.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Baca/100001475108838 Justin Baca
  
  Oh my God, that is really extremely poor writing

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

Really? You didn’t include the scene in the fight in the forest where one of the cannibals was decapitated by a sword thrown into a tree, while riding a horse and firing a machine gun? That’s the one scene I saw and thought “Hm. Maybe this isn’t a completely worthless pile of shit.” Of course that was stamped into the dirt once the guardian spun like the Tasmanian devil into the ground, but it’s a memorable scene nonetheless. Worth mentioning at the very least.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

Really? You didn’t include the scene in the fight in the forest where one of the cannibals was decapitated by a sword thrown into a tree, while riding a horse and firing a machine gun? That’s the one scene I saw and thought “Hm. Maybe this isn’t a completely worthless pile of shit.” Of course that was stamped into the dirt once the guardian spun like the Tasmanian devil into the ground, but it’s a memorable scene nonetheless. Worth mentioning at the very least.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

Really? You didn’t include the scene in the fight in the forest where one of the cannibals was decapitated by a sword thrown into a tree, while riding a horse and firing a machine gun? That’s the one scene I saw and thought “Hm. Maybe this isn’t a completely worthless pile of shit.” Of course that was stamped into the dirt once the guardian spun like the Tasmanian devil into the ground, but it’s a memorable scene nonetheless. Worth mentioning at the very least.

Anonymous

You know the worst part about The Guardian spinning into the ground is? The’s blocking Duncan. That seems to imply he’s CORKSCREWING HIMSELF into the ground.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Gregory-Thomas-Bogosian/100000063000955 Gregory Thomas Bogosian

This thing makes me think that one day someone will make a movie where General Katana’s two minions come back to life and become the protagonists.

Anonymous

Wow, what a giant pile of stupid. I didn’t honestly want to believe that this could be worst than Highlander 2, but yeah, you’re right Spoony.

The ONLY thing enjoyable with this whole stupid film was when you added Benny Hill’s Yackity Sax to the final fight. At least that had some entertainment value to it, and proves that Yackity Sax can make anything better.

BroJon

When I saw on IMDb that viewers had given a lower rating to Highlander: The Source than Highlander II (3.2 against 3.6), I thought that that was impossible, having seen Highland II. I now know, thanks to Spoony taking the bullet for the rest of us, that these people were absolutely right.

Anonymous

Wow, what a giant pile of stupid. I didn’t honestly want to believe that this could be worst than Highlander 2, but yeah, you’re right Spoony.

The ONLY thing enjoyable with this whole stupid film was when you added Benny Hill’s Yackity Sax to the final fight. At least that had some entertainment value to it, and proves that Yackity Sax can make anything better.

http://twitter.com/RougeDragon Thomas Harker Jr

this isn’t the end of highlander this a remake coming On March 2008, Summit Entertainment announced that it had bought the film rights to the Highlander franchise and is remaking the 1986 original movie with Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway writing the script, with release scheduled for 2011.[26][27] In September 2009, Fast & Furious director Justin Lin was announced as director of the film[28] while Neal H. Moritz will co-produce.

http://twitter.com/RougeDragon Thomas Harker Jr

this isn’t the end of highlander this a remake coming On March 2008, Summit Entertainment announced that it had bought the film rights to the Highlander franchise and is remaking the 1986 original movie with Iron Man writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway writing the script, with release scheduled for 2011.[26][27] In September 2009, Fast & Furious director Justin Lin was announced as director of the film[28] while Neal H. Moritz will co-produce.

http://www.facebook.com/kevin.mcgill2 Kevin McGill

Part of me wonders, can an immortal kill a non immortal on holy ground? I know they can’t kill each other, but maybe there’s a “screw mortal, kill them anywhere you damn well fill like.”

Oh, and the wife agrees, only Queen should ever EVER sing Princes of the Universe.

http://twitter.com/Mecahawk Tyler Burnette

How in the heck did you find a Highland the Source poster?

http://twitter.com/Mecahawk Tyler Burnette

How in the heck did you find a Highland the Source poster?

http://twitter.com/OttoRosenlund Otto Rosenlund

Hey Spoony, thanks for raping our minds with our consent. What a terrible movie!

That said, I actually REALLY liked some of the ideas in the movie. If done in a better movie and with a bit more setup I would’ve really loved to see the idea of the neckguard thingy and the end “twist”. It would’ve been nice to have it like after the first movie so that the whole “there can only be one” mumbo-jumbo would’ve actually been incorrect. Of course it would’ve had to be executed a LOT better that in this horror, but technically it’s a very nice twist.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Wouldntyouliketoknow/100000557594957 Jonathan Wouldntyouliketoknow

hopefully you can put this god-awful franchise to rest now and finished the FFX review

http://www.thenoc.tv Defcon5

Fun fact for you, the small swords Duncan is using are Butterfly Swords, often used by Wing Chun practitioners, if they didn’t have the crappy speed effects it might have been a decent fight scene.

http://Xaotikdesigns.com Adam

Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody wing chun tonight
- Anonymous
  
  You couldn’t resist that joke, could you?
  
  Don’t worry. I was planning to do the same thing. =)
http://Xaotikdesigns.com Adam

Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody wing chun tonight

Anonymous

I would just say that if you are a true fan of the “Highlander” concept, then there was only one movie – the first one – and all the rest are “Highlander” movies IN NAME ONLY. This has happened before; there was a spaghetti Western called “Django” (the guy who drags a coffin with a Gatling gun inside) and ten jillion alternate title “sequels.” So it is with “Highlander.”

“SyFy: never made a good TV movie, but watch us try.”

http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PG5F4OSEWLGOVPEHK44ZWDRI4Y Sean

I’m not even a Highlander fan but good god! I even feel raped watching all this trivel! What were they thinking!

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_S2UG632H55PI352IJ677VP3GJU Daniel Opel

Man, this movie’s fucked up… Oo

I now that movies, series etc. love to portray the moon as being roughly 10 times as big as usual, but THIS is just ridiculous!

But can you imagine that SciFi – sorry, I meant Syfy – was planning on making a whole TRILOGY of Highlander movies? Thank god this one sucked so bad…

Better hope the remake won’t buttfuck the first movie…

http://Xaotikdesigns.com Adam

This was actually playing on a TV in Target one day. I saw the ending there. I was frozen in place, horrified, as I watched the worst movie I had ever seen.

And then I found out if was a Highlander movie. I’m pretty sure I shat myself right there…

http://warpedtree.blogspot.com/ CornBRED-X

Ya, I saw this when it aired on TV. It was so horrifically bad as well as insulting to the series I wanted to burn my tv just for showing it to me.

Seriously, if anyone thinks this would be good to watch- seriously don’t. It’s seriously a travesty to film and fans of a franchise anywhere.The ending is just the final punch to the brain matter after repeated pummeling to what you liked about highlander IN ANY FORM. Whether you’re a fan of the cartoon, series, or original movie. It says it was all bullshit.

Fuck this stupid movie.

http://warpedtree.blogspot.com/ CornBRED-X

Ya, I saw this when it aired on TV. It was so horrifically bad as well as insulting to the series I wanted to burn my tv just for showing it to me.

Seriously, if anyone thinks this would be good to watch- seriously don’t. It’s seriously a travesty to film and fans of a franchise anywhere.The ending is just the final punch to the brain matter after repeated pummeling to what you liked about highlander IN ANY FORM. Whether you’re a fan of the cartoon, series, or original movie. It says it was all bullshit.

Fuck this stupid movie.

Anonymous

Good god, I never could have imagined it’d be that bad. I am so glad I trusted my instincts, and stayed far away from that horrible movie.

http://twitter.com/zodd88 Guido Palombi

I also like that you have the italian poster of the first highlander movie ! Is it any different from the us version ?

http://twitter.com/zodd88 Guido Palombi

I also like that you have the italian poster of the first highlander movie ! Is it any different from the us version ?

Anonymous

You know what saddens me for you Spoony. From here on out, I am willing to guarantee, you will be remembered as that one reviewer who showed to the masses how his love for highlander was thoroughly and meticulously raped and violated.

…I wonder if there’s a Highlander Anonymous Support Group somewhere…

http://www.facebook.com/Donnerwulfsson Jason Marlow