So, you scoff at the Challenge of the Klingon Sword? Very good! Your ability to endure pain marks you as a true warrior. But even Kahless himself would blanch at what is about to befall you…
Who is responsible for this abomination?
You could blame Messer Spoon for gathering this, but that would be mean. We’re not savages, we are WARRIORS.
Canada. Now we know why Joe blew it up.
The Pain! This is inhuman.
omg, this physically hurts :(
i made it to the queen song, there is now a hole in my wall the size of my head :(
I guess I can’t expect any mercy from Klingons :|
My testicles recended…
The three bands I listened to all my life got raped by an overpaid, over hyped French Canadian Lounge Lizard. There must be a vengance!
People actually paid physical money to watch this live?! There is no hope for civilization as a whole!
Ha, I survived this one as well. I do not know why but I did.
… you ever see that episode of X-Men: The Animated Series with Proteus? Remember the scene where he starts twisting and stretching Wolverine, turning his claws into snakes, and when he leaves and reality snaps back into place, Logan’s crumpled in a heap and weeping like someone just shot his dog and pissed on the ashes?
… yeah. Thank the Lord above the video cut out early, or I might have carved out my own eardrums.
*watches the last bit that got cut off* Yeah. I hate you, Spoony. It’s the hate a grunt has for his drill sergeant, but dear Lord, I just want to throw you in a blast furnace and watch your skin bubble. Just… I really, REALLY hate you.
NONONONO, level 4 is painfull, make it stop PLEEAAAAASE D:
20 seconds in and already screaming damn you
I’m surprised Level 3 wasn’t in Highlander: The Source
It’s still not as painful as watching Brokencyde…almost Justin Bieber level here, though.
Level 2 & 3 had me cringing but I survived it. Level 4 wasn’t as painful as Celine Dion. Even though it was a weak performance. Then again Metallica has lost all credibility anyway after the Black album. The fact that they seem to be enjoying the performance proves they lost all sense of what makes metal metal or honest music in general.
Come on Spoonyman! Give us some real pain! :D
Damn you, Spoony. Damn your eyes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to shower for a few hours.
Come on Spoony you can do better. I’m rooting for your attempts to break our minds and make us cry
I…I…have nothing to say…I feel empty…drained and dirty…must wash away the flith…must cleanse…purge…WHY?!
You’re going to have to do better than that.
ARRRGGHH IT HURTTTS
Painful indeed! But I am a WARRIOR!!! I can endure more than that! Chris Tucker merely amuses me and your weak female singing has left me scarred, but it will require more than that to stop me! I must have more BIJ!!!!! KA’PLA!!
Nobody kills Metallica better than Metallica. I’d rather listen to this than St. Anger.
I watched the first one whole without blinking, but my hubris was my downfall. 23 seconds into this one I had to stop…
Well played indeed, Spoony One.
But as I’m partially deaf right now, I was able to survive this round.
Bring it on! ;)
Sorry for doublepost – my bad
Have you ever heard of the “Eurovision Song Contest”? This was 9 minutes, but that is first an ump-ton of parts of a domestic tournament in all European countries (at least here in Sweden there is like once a week for six month), and then like 5 dozen parts of the international tournament, each part being like 3 f-ing hours and then being mercilessly audibly abused by these songs, most not even comparable to the inhuman wonders of “hits for kids”, played in every store and on almost every radio and television-channel until the next round of competition
This was childsplay compared to living in the middle of all that…
The butchering of Queen hurt, but level 4 was easy. I never listened much to Metallica.
Except for Lordi. They saved 2005.
Yeah. They successfully trolled the entire thing. I love them for that and shake my head at anyone who seriously thinks that this ‘contest’ is in any way important…
I almost tapped out to the massacring of Queen, but I made it through. What a contemptible, giraffe-necked sack of shit Dion is. And as for Lavigne, she was awful, but not as bad as those dipshits sitting there and rocking along while she massacred one of their songs.
I have a worse version of We Will Rock You though, one that the rest of Queen actually took part in…
British boy band Five truly destroying the song……enjoy, it must be at least level 12.
I remember that… at nights I still hear the fires cracking as the bodies burned….
Yeah, it caused riots.
You see, THIS is more like bij… especially level 3… Who thought THAT was a good idea? And why didn’t anyone stop Celine Dion from doing this disservice to music as we know it? I guess that’s the reason why you can’t bring tomatoes to her appearances.
Oh, and Metallica has been dead for quite some time in my book… So that bit didn’t really hurt me any more than any other song A.Lavigne has done.
But still, I am undisturbed by this. Bring on the big guns.
*Smiles through lvl 2. Thiniing it wasn’t the worst*
*Watching in true terror at lvl 3*
*Watches lvl 4* NOOOOOOOooooooooooo……. *slits his wrists*
No more suffering! This is the worst thing I’ve seen happening to Rock ‘n Roll since…. the FUCKING JONAS BROTHERS!
*didn’t cut deep enough, has a feeling he might regret it*
Jonas Brothers do not qualify as rock. They’re a boy-band. That does not make me want to throw up at the sound of their music any less, though.
I can’t believe things like this exist…. I don’t want to live anymore!
Really, the bij here is their shirts in that first clip. What ARE those things and who told them they were fashion and how do they expect to rock in shoes and pants that they can only basically shuffle in?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH *Head implodes, then the implosion explodes on itself.*
Edit: 6mins in and i will now be crying myself to sleep for life.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall” – Confucius
Your bij is weak, Spoony One! You attempt to frighten us like children, we who have seen and fought the slash fiction in glorious battle? Hah! Warriors who have known the darkest corners of the internet cannot be so easily intimidated by this skeletal attempt at bij!
Spoony, this is monstrous. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does. I’m crying blood. My legs are numb. I hear nothing but the wails and torment of the damned. I’m pretty sure Avril Levine was drunk in that last one.
And this is number 2!? Okay, that’s it. I’m out
I have literally seen and heard animated, japanese schoolgirls rock out better than those women…
Man, it’s like Vogon Poetry. When I initially noticed around the half point of “You shook me all night long” that there was still 6 minutes of video left, I think I had my first near-death experience.
bah bring me more bij and raw torge, kapla this is only the begining i will watch with 3 pain sticks in my ribs.
Because it also must be done. In Linkara’s battman voice:” my god Bij”
That was easier than the last, the first song was decent compared to Celine Dion usual stuff, the Queen’s cover was bearable since it was not as bad as the Prince of the universe cover in The Source and, as other have no doubt already said, Avril Lavigne butchering Metallica is their karma for St. Anger. All of us had to sit through the laughing scene in FFX, Tidus whining, eyes on me, part of highlander : the source and Curtis Craig general performance. Your pathetic effort to test us pales before that and amuse me.
People, People, People…this is NOTHING I tell you NOTHING…Is that your BEST Spoony?…Celine Dion and Avril Levine…PLEASE…I guess living in Canada has given me a thick skin…Thicker than the skins of SOME I’ve read here. what’s next Nickelback? Maybe try to have us endure Gowan or Sass Jordan or pull out the big guns Paul Anka or Eight Seconds…oooooooh…I’m shaking Spoony…SHAKING….
Bring on the next Bij…If you dare…
Level one hurt far more than 2, 3, and 4. There is an extreme level beyond this, on the same line. I have survived the Bij of Hollywood Undead’s cover of Immigrant Song, so the punishment of covers has many scars on me.
I would rather be waterboarded with semen than ever watch that again.
I await more Bij. These first two have been easy. I own Fifth Element, and I can deal with crappy renditions of good songs. BRING ME A CHALLENGE!! :)
I have taken on your whiny man child. I have scoffed off this abomination to music. I will experience BIJ, and I will endure! Bring forth your next challenge!
Is that the worst you got Mortal bard known as the Spoony One. You are weak, no match for Urdnot NinjaWii. The Krogan will crush the puny Klingon, and then the Wookie, and after that we will plant are flag on the Ronso’s corpse. The house of Antwiler will fall before the bloodline of Kredok Sheoger and Mordor. Oh my god what did they do to Metallica.
Ok the 1st song was bad, the 3rd was horrible but the 2nd song is just terrible.
Who lets these people get away with butchering such awesome songs!?!?
Its like watching them physically dismember the actual band with rusty knives.
Why was Avril Lavine ever popular? I can understand how someone could find Celine Dion talented. Fair enough. She shouldn’t be doing rock music. But Avril Lavine should be mopping floors somewhere. she can’t sing. She would get laughed off American Idol.
These have been EASY! I can deal with shit music and I like Fifth Element! Give me a challenge Spoony!
And… because I hate myself…
nob jIH nIn, nob jIH qul, nob jIH ‘e’bogh neh Sop!
Roughly translated, that means “Give me fuel, give me fire, give me what I want to eat!”
… I hate you, Spoony.
I feel my future children crying out in pain but I have ENDURED!!!!
Oh my. That was… painful… really, really painful.
Bon Scott – dead. Freddie Mercury – dead. Yet Celine Dion lives. Yet more proof that God is a sick, vindictive motherfucker.
The only good bit was watching the crowd’s reaction shots. I swear I’ve seen more life and animation in a morgue.
Ok if this is a Klingon’s idea of pain, I must be one of the great warriors of the Klingon race because I just watched that whole thing and even though none of it was good, I found it all to be pretty tolerable. Except for the rendition of Queen, I got some pain out of that.
BIJ? You call that BIJ? That was nothing. Your pitiful attempts at torture remind me more of the Spanish Inquisition. “Soft Cushions” my ass.
NOOOOO!!!! AAAGGGH! SPOONY HOW DID YOU KNOW?! IT’S LIKE IT WAS PERSONALLY TAILORED TO ATTEMPT TO FORCE ME TO SUICIDE!
AC/DC is my favorite band of all time. ._. OH CHRIST. *throws my pencil out of my reach* NO! This is NOT the music I will die to!…What? Why is this hurting my penis? THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE! It’s all in my head…It’s all in my ghadfgh…Oh god…I…*THUD*jnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnjnrg
First song: Liked it
Second song: Crap, but managable
Third song: /dies
Too… much… BIJ…uuuuhhhhhh…(and dead).
Man, this is a worse slaughtering of Queen than the cover of “Princes of the Universe” in Highlander: End Game.
NO SNOOP DOGG KILLING METALLICA ON THE SAME SHOW? Your BIJ is weak, Spoony One!
If Celine Dion ever tries her hand at music… we’re all in deep trouble.
Level 2: Terrible, but I could deal with it.
Level 3: That almost broke me. Pat the NES Punk did a better Queen cover.
Level 4: That was bad, but I’ve seen much worse.
I am broken.
This was the worst 8:something minutes of my life.
I believe, I’ll just go watch the credits in The Source review again just to have Pat soften the shock.
Well at least they got the drums/guitar/bass right on Fuel so it was endurable. The two other levels almost killed me.
man, that was longer than Darkstar’s labyrinth … but ppl actually pay for this ?
still i think Level 1 hurt more
First Lavigne Kills Punk, Now She trying to kill Metal? Such dishonorably acts will not be tolerated! There Will be no peace as long as She and Dion Lives!
Why? Why would you subject us to something this awful!?!?!?!?!?
Qua’plah! with each BIJ i only grow stronger.
Oh god…They changed all the she’s for he’s? MY DC! MY PRECIOUS DC! SPOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEY WHY?
NO! No. I can do this. I can do this. That all you got crypt keeper?
Q-queen? Queen?! QUEEN! GRAH LOOK AT ALL THE JACKASSES POP LOCKING BEHIND HER WHILE SHE CACKLES.
Oh, Metallica, I can take a break from being so disgusted.
I did it. Okay, that was worse than Chris Tucker, fine. But I haven’t skipped any yet! Bring me more BIJ!
NNNNNNNYYYYYAAAAHHHH!!! beep beep beep
SO I have completed and Endured BIJ #2 Spoony one is weak he needs to dredge up that which lives deep in the ninth circle. From there the true warrior can strip away the outward appearance and see what it means to be a true man.
I am victorious Kaplah.
Spoony one i have Endured my immortal and a Full hannah Montana Concert this is weak.
So you’re just numb to the pain at this point.
No I feel all the pain but I am able to remove the pain from my mind until a while after when I snap. There will problaly a rash of murders soon.
fuck no, anything but avril lavigne, i fukin hate that bitch nooooooo spoonyyy whyyyyyyyyyyyy
I really had a Paul Atreides time with this one. “The pain! The pain!!” Criminy, I don’t know how I survived the first few segments.
my reaction to this was similar to malcom macdowel in a clockwork orange “STOP IT! STOP IT! PLASE I BEG YOU!”
I guess Im not as strong as I thought since I could only take one level of Bij =P
I watched the star wars Christmas special, their is nothing you puh-takh’s can do to me that is worse than that.
i dunno, ‘Good Burger’ was pretty bad…
Okay, what? Keep your exaggerations inside the fence, bro. Good Burger was a bad movie, but by no means comparable with the Star Wars Christmas special. Do you have an agenda or something…?
Is that all you got, SpoonyOne?
Bah! I’ve enjoyed watching these clips, I think Chris Tucker is adorable actor, and Celine Dion is such a talented rock singer.
Bring on the REAL pain, Bitch!
The last one was funny (I never hated that guy from the 5th element, though I’ve repressed his name), this one however, hurt. *still going in the background* FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
I SHALL ENDURE THE BIJ!
NO MORE SPOONY ONE, NO MORE. I cannot take any more of this infernal torment!
This is a mild annoyance at best, Spoony! Try harder, fool!
First was boring. I nearly blacked out on the second, and the third was probably one of the most awkward things I’ve ever had to watch.
You can’t ruin *anything* Metallica made or did after …And Justice For All. Avril just made it *funny* and shitty instead of just shitty.
Yes, you guys give Metallica too much credit.
This is pretty annoying but you have not even begun to understand pain! I can endure so much more.
Who is the second woman anyway? She sounds VERY obviously autotuned.
It’s Anastacia and I guess she is more popular in Europe than anywhere in States. Even through such awkward attemps.
The first one I could endure. AC/DC I shuttered… but endured. I about threw up at Queen. I laughed at when pink ruined Metallica. They at least sort of deserve it. I will destroy your trials Spoony One!
::shrug:: Have you ever heard a tone-deaf person singing his/her heart out? Your “bij” is nothing more than baking powder on the back of my hand. Where’s the lye, Spoony?
Spoony, you evil motherf*cker! Celine Dion?!? I endured Chris Tucker, but this? Oww…too much pain…
I came very close to breaking when Dion destroyed one of my favorite AC/DC songs. I think the neighbors heard my tortured screams, and then she had the balls to attempt Queen? Freddy Mercury is doing barrel rolls in his grave because of that horseshit.
At least she didn’t choose a decent Metallica song to murder. The only thing that made it less horrifying was the expressions on James, Kirk and Robert’s faces during that ass rape. I think Lars was high or could only hear the drums cuz he was way too into it. I made it though, you need to try harder Spoony.
These will have to get at LEAST as bad as your Tron Legacy review before I will even consider hitting stop.
Thank god level 3 was fairly short. I don’t think I could have stood that one much longer.
As for the other 2 levels, I think they were improvements on the originals. BAM!
I’m disappointed… It is easier than previous one. But I have a one question..
How the fuck you can kill Metallica more since St. Anger album? I thought it’s impossible for Metallica to be… I don’t know, deader… o, killed more.
It was easy one, though – I heard a much more shittier music or covers. Listen whole album of Japan DRAGONKNIGHT or EXCITER’s 2010 album. That is painful.
Can’t wait for next episode!
Fool! I have trained on the very worst of amateur YouTube singers! Your attempts at Bij fall flat, provide me with REAL pain!
You thought that was crazy, wait until you hear Mariah Carey’s rendition of Bringing on the Heartache or worse…I Want to Know What Love Is!
Now THAT’S torture!
HA! Celine Dion? That is your great instrument of pain? My mother used to play ‘Falling into You’ every God Damn day when I was a kid!
Seriously thought, that wasn’t so bad. I was a little disturbed by the transsexual freak that chimed in halfway through the 1st song, but other then that, I’m starting to think that maybe you’re just over sensitive Spoony. You get hurt by things way too easily.
Loop ‘the most annoying sound in the world’ from Dumb and Dumber for 5 minutes. Now THAT would be an endurance.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I didn’t mind the Metalica cover because it was just that. replacing the the singer with a famous-ish pop singer. At least she didn’t have hip hop dancers, bony gyrating hips, and really weak guitar players. Actually I found the audience funnier. Lol weakest headbangs ever.
I quit after she said “Come on Girlfriend!” I’m so sorry Spoony, I have failed you.
That Avril cover pissed me off so much and I don’t even hate her. It was forcing Metallica to sit there and endure it and pretend to ENJOY IT that was the ultimate offense.
C’mon Kavok! I’ve endured 4kids’ adaptation of One Piece. This is NOTHING!!!
No.. they killed AC/DC! NOOOOOO!!
And another thing. how much did they pay metallica to pretend they liked avril lavine? you could tell they were holding back their contempt.
metallica has always had a price.. but even then its hard to hide the pain of that acoustical butchery
Oh, and changing the gender of She Shook Me All Night Long is mindnumbingly stupid. And I think the one blonde girl, whoever she may be, has her voice slightly Autotuned. How sad is that. At least Celine Dion can sing. That chick needs Autotune for a live performance. What a joke!
That wasn’t so much torture as it was bland and abundant.
Like, my definition of “unentertaining” made manifest as a social event– *has now reached the point of the video where they start singing Queen*
… Agh… Gwuaaghhh.. NooooooOoooo…NOOOOOOoOOOooooo… ;o;
God. What the hell, adults? Why are you so uncool? We could get along if you didn’t completely miss the point of why certain things are entertaining.
OMG, I am weak…15 sec into her singing and I tapped out. Im only human after all.
Level 2: HA! Spoontock, you mewling patak! This is not true Bij! You are weak! YOU CANNOT BREAK ME, MAGGOT!
Level 3: GRAH! You…will…not…win! You are devious like a Romulan to use such a cowardly tactic! FACE ME IN TRUE COMBAT, SPOONTOCK!
Level 4: (incoherent screaming in Klingon with the occasional frantic skronk)
Celine Dion covering that music was like watching your mom play Rock Band.
Level 2 – I’m not a great AC/DC fan so it didn’t hurt me so much, but i still don’t get why the scene looks like giant goatse but maybe it’s just me.
Level 3 – O yeah, it hurt, a little but still, ouch.
Level 4 – How could ever Metallica members enjoy that, were they high?
Just, blame Canada…
And I hope next episodes will bring even more pain.
Okay, this level of Bij induced involuntary groans and a minor brain hemorrhage.
Well I have more painful stuff on my youtube channel. I can bite my lip and suffer through this.
My brain ow i promise to never make fun of a klingon again those are some hardcore motherfuckers if they can actually sit threw all the punishment of the Bij people talk about a punch to the soul this is taking a shit on your soul.
I was once subjected to Creed in concert. Your Bij is nothing compared to that.
Level 1: God that was horrible!… Cute Lead guitarist though.
Level 2: Okay! that was a fucking holocaust! As if it wasnt bad enough, what the fuck was the deal with the backup dancers doing the charleston behind her?
Level 3: Aww how cute! She thinks shes badass! How adorable!
The BIJ-Part of the third one is the reaction of Metallica themselves. They seem to be liking this.
Yes sir, cute lead guitarist indeed.
Well Spoony, I survived your Bij! What do i win?
Which one is Celene Dion?
Google it. One is Celine the other one is Anastacia.
I was doing quite well till that two minute montage of high definition child porn at the end. That got me, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be fair, you can’t really butcher Metallica after the black album. It all sucked balls already.
Just like the kids in that montage! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA young
I think I had an aneurysm from watching this.
Oh god, how does it get worse with every part?
You think you can destroy me with Celine Dion? HA I spit in your face, I’ve seen worse attrocities in the universe, I’ve watch the Last airbender three times!
Well, I can’t really say that part three was too bad. I mean, how can Avril Lavigne kill that which is already dead? Seriously, Metallica is to Metal as Linkin Park is to Rock. The Celine Dion moments were physically painful though. But my Klingon will is stronger yet. BRING IT ON, SPOONY!
Look at Phelous’ new video. Watch up to the 50 second mark. That was me after the video ended.
this video’s running length is 9:11… coincidence? I THINK NOT!
Hey, leave Celine Dion alone you dick.
no no NOOOOOOO!!!
2. Almost did me in (poor AC/DC…)
3. Celine ‘Pasty-White Soul’ Dion doing “We Will Rock You” in swing was just plain funny
4. Don’t know that Metallica song so win win for me!
Celine Dion? The last Airbender? You Americans know nothing of torture! If you only knew the horrors of Serbian Folk music that is so bad, that it’s official name is Turbo Folk, and I’m not even kidding. Search for it… IF YOU DARE!
Okay, listened to some Turbofolk. Really not that bad. As far as future BIJ, I’m assuming that The Source and The Last Airbender are coming, though I do fear the horror that lives in the mind of the Spoony One. I fear we have not yet begun to dig into the horror.
Enjoy this lovely voice :D
First off, Celine Dion covering AC/DC is a step UP for them.
Second, again, Lavigne covering Metallica is a step closer to them becoming something approaching TOLERABLE>
Okay, firstly, who said that AC/DC *needed* a ‘step up’ – especially from the likes of Celine Dion.
Same thing goes for Avril covering Metallica.
I’m a chick and I can rock harder than you. Be ashamed. I’m taking your man card and tearing it in half.
No one here has any man cards.
~bitchslaps~ You offically fail. Hard.
this is hilarious! how many old-fart-leather-jacket-wearing harley-bikers did she offend with that performance? awesome! probably wasn’t her intention but still a cool move haha
You know what it needs? IT NEEDS MORE COWBELL!!!!!
I’ve seen worse… Until Spoony finds the really painful content the internet has I won’t be impressed.
I don’t think I could survive level 5!!! level 2 almost killed me… AND THEN IT GOT WORSE!!!
Wait… who was the other bitch with the rockin’ abs singing with her? Either way, I have ascended to the next BIJ! Spoony until you start blue waffling us, I think these might be too tame lol.
WHAT? QUEEN? NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo
How are you possibly going to make this worse, Spoony?
I think hearing Celine Dion’s cover of Show Must Go On would have been more painful. Honestly, I’ve heard We Will Rock You covered by so many people, (not the least of them High School marching bands) that it really doesn’t affect me anymore. I don’t even like the song that much when Queen plays it- sure, it works in a stadium setting when you’ve got an audience to interact with, but as a song there’s really not much to it. Certainly not enough to “kill the Queen.”
The other two covers were just kind of meh… I guess cos I’m not the biggest fan of AC/DC or Metallica. I’d have been more pissed off if they’d covered Iron Maiden or Manowar.
Pop stars, should never be allowed to play metal!!!! EVER!!!!
I heard about and saw only bits and pieces of the Celine Dion and Aviral Levine performing Metallica and AC/DC, and I’d heard they were terrible. Mostly because of how Celine would not stop acting like a jack ass! And Aviral well she never grew up listening to Metallica, she even said so. Now that is fucking pathetic, you can’t claim to be punk music and not know about the Sex Pistols and or Metallic, and you sure as shit can’t play or sing there music!
End of argument.
I think I can take this, I’ve heard shit like this before and it couldn’t be that horrible!
*rocking back and forth in a cold shower with tears*….can’t sleep, clowns will eat me….
If I grew up with AC/DC, I’m sure this would be incredibly painful.
As it stands, it’s only mildly irritating.
I nearly lost it at level 4.. So much pain. I’m sure the members of Metallica were trying to focus on the instruments as much as possible.
Level 2 defeats me. I am not worthy. -.-’
I simply can not stand that kind of singer, that kind of song. I hate it so much. SPOONY! you are sick! Twisted and evil! but actually i kinda like it. :)
Dude, you gotta work with me here. I’ve been Furry since ’88. You haven’t even STARTED on my pain threshold yet.
OK, that Fuel cover was toooooooooo much. I’m Bij-ed out.
This isn’t painful, its just boring. And hell, I won’t lie. I kind’a liked Avril there, which is weird. I haven’t listened to her since middle school?
Is nothing holy anymore!?
I didn’t think nothing would top Chris Tucker’s loud obnixious voice…
This will be hard to top.
Ok, I’m not worthy – I’m out. Celine Dion doing the ACDC moves was too much for me.
Still manageable yet cringe-worthy, although I don’t like what’s coming next, and I’m sure at the end we’ll be in…….Beiber territory *shrug*
The pain… THE PAIN!!!!
It was bad but watching the rock-biter sing born to be wild in the NC review of the never ending story 3, caused me to fail my endurance check for pain. =(
On behalf of Canada, I apologize.
Maybe it’s my not being an AC/DC fan (deal with it), but this came off weaker than Chris Tucker (actually, kind of liked him in the first Rush Hour and he was decent in #2).
Seriously, your going to have try harder.
Granted, she did “We Will Rock You” no favors at all.
OK, next time I wait until the end of the video, but seriously? For Avril this is a step up and I’m not into Metallica either.
You’re going to have to do better than this, kid.
1.) Spoony is not a “kid” by any definition of the word. Even if you happen to be an old man, he’s still out of the “kid” range.
2.) The edit button. Learn to use it.
Not used to seeing an edit button. Disqus hate IE. Using a different browser at the moment.
I call everybody “kid”, even when their older than me. We should all be young at heart. You’re only as old as you feel. :)
Level 2: Okay, more painful than the Chris Tucker stuff, but I managed through okay and without much mental trama. Let’s dance, Level 3!
Level 3: ….damn it, Level Three has killed one of my favorite songs as a kid. I made it through though, at the cost of part of my childhood. I AM leader material, dammit! Bring on the next level!
Level 4: ~eyetwitch~ I will emain strong…though its really stating to get hard. Made it through all the way though. Bring it, Level 5!
the first sucked more then them all put together
well thats my openion
OH GODS, THIS IS FAR WORSE THAN THE LAST ONE! What are you doing to me! Stop it, Spoony! Stop it, stop iiiiit! I am in despaaaair!
I gotta agree. Avril is much better, so level 4 wasn’t as bad as 2 and 3.
Ive heard butchering of classics way worse than that, you need to step up a notch if you want to cause some pain MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
pfffft! I’ll be waiting for you at level 50.
>> Pop stars, should never be allowed to play metal!!!! EVER!!!!
If it’s Load/Reload/St Anger, then why not? Can’t make it any worse. This one didn’t, anyway.
At least it had cowbell….
These guys are un-FUCKIN-believable.
Nowadays, this hardly hurts. Even though the “hommage” to Queen caught me off-guard for a nanosecond.
Okay, I admit, level 3 and 4 were bad. First the horrible cover of Princes of the Universe from the source and now this? Freddie Mercury is rolling in his grave.
However, I work in IT for a living so you’ve got a couple more layers of bitterness to get through. Come on Spoontok!
COME AT ME BRO.
I expect horrific pain and incited my eye-holes are pleasured by beautiful Canadian women? For shame Commander Spoony, you need to bring out your Bij a-game. Though I must admit, the beginning of We Will Rock You made me physically cringe, but only for a moment.
Wow Dante’s 8 Circles of Hell has a new meaning for me.
Two wasn’t so bad, but three and four were just… unholy.
lvl 3 was kind of bad but believe it or not I have heard worse, lvl 4 just didn’t effect me at all, I don’t like metal so the original probably would have been worse for me.
Whatever Spoony, you should have posted some live footage of The Irresponsibles, if you really wanted us to experience Bij..
I think I felt a part of my soul die listening to that.
On the plus side, my selective amnesia has kicked in quite fast tonight and I can no longer remember what I just witnessed. Huzzah.
Level 2 – Pah. Country. It sucks, but at least it wasn’t some cowboy bitchin about emo bs.
Level 3 – ………Thats not painful, just really offensive. HOW DARE SHE. SHE SHALL TASTE MY D’K TAHG!
Level 4 – Pro: It was a metallica song. Con: IT WAS AVRIL LAVIGNE. Now I just feel REALLY dirty, like I should take a scalding hot shower to wash the filth of having to listen to it.
whats next Jar Jar binks? it’s like your not even trying
“Turns red and clenches fists sweating and bleeding in the nose” URRUGH!!
Hah…..Come on…this is nothing…I’m ready for the next stage!!!
Holy fuckbuckets of ducksmuggling monkeyjugglers!
This is the worst thing, THE WORST thing!
Spoony you shall pay for this, i will find you and play you Limp Bizkit till you like it.
Seriously why the fuck would Celine Dion think its a good idea to play AC/DC? Why did that awful lady rape the hell out of a lovely guitar solo?
AND THEN MOTHERFUCKING QUEEN!? I mean are you fucking kidding me?
Level 4 was just awful, Fuel is a crappy song, and it’s played by a musician worse than Metallica.
Someone just injected the semen of a thousand tone deaf musicians into my ears, and then throat fucked queen and AC/DC in front of me : (
i almost kill my self with a spoon but i didnt
ok you win. I give in
I wish to appologies in the name of all Canadian for giving those two artist to the world.
Other then that,Spoony, bring in the pain for level 5, because I knew it would be bad but I didn’t even flinch a little.
BRING THE PAIN!!!!
OMFG, how did you even retain consciousness while putting the second one together. Even if Avril Lavigne were blowing me during it I might have passed out from sheer psychological trauma.
Celine Dion has reached levels of uncoolness only paralleled by Ralphie’s mom from a Christmas story.
That’s being unfair to Ralphie’s mom
Now, like Wesley, I know what 50 feels like.
I was doing fine intill fuel… i had to turn it off i know ive failed but i wont have that song ruined by that talentless wench… plus lol watching CEline Dion try to act like she has charisma was like watching my mum dance at a party when shes pissed
I found the first Bij far more challenging.
Level 2: Have you ever heard a real Celine Dion song? My mom used to listen to that shit in the car. My utter terror at the sight of Celine Dion actually faded as the song carried on…
Level 3: I’ll admit to cringing, for Freddie Mercury’s sake. Perhaps if she were covering a better song… or even the whole song?
Level 4: Same as Level 3. Actually, this was a step down. I’m not certain whether I felt sorry for James Hetfield or I was saddened to realize that “Fuel” had aged so well. Lavigne’s guilty of little more than her failure to convey emotion. Once again, the cover was for a weak song. Note that I said weak, not bad! Do you really want to make me close a video in utter disgust and shame myself before all other Spoonites? I have two words for you.
No pop cover necessary!
When we next meet, you will bring your worst, and I shall bring my bat’leth!
First one was nothing. It was easy and actually somewhat enjoyable. I didn’t even survive past 20 seconds of that!
DAMN YOU FOR MAKING THIS.
that wasn’t goddamn fair, Spoony
not cool man, not i have to go bash my head into a cabinet for a couple hours to forget this
I KNEW IT!!!! The second I saw BIJ 2, I KNEW Spoony would pull this out again.
Okay, you’ve got stones, Spoony. This is certainly far more sadistic than Chris Tucker, but I can take it. I’m strong. I have experienced Bij and I remain stalwart. C’mon, you can do even better than this! Oh and don’t even bother trying to throw Beiber at me. I’ve already far surpassed his mediocre-ness. >:3
Level 2: “aargh! make it stop!” Level 3: “FUCK YOU SPOONY, FUCK YOU!” Level 4: … metallica? who the fuck cares?
*Spits out blood* You not even trying! Next Level!
After viewing this, I think I’ll throw myself onto a bat’leth… Well, it’s a actually a spiked wrought iron fence outside my house – but the result should be the same…
taH pagh taHbe’!
I was able to at least listen all the way through, though I had to look away during level 3. I don’t actually like Metallica, and while I actually like some of AC/DC’s songs, that wasn’t one of them, so I was reasonably OK. However, I recently heard Leonard Nimoy’s cover of If I Were A Carpenter and wasn’t able to get all the way through.
Hmmm… I dunno… The first two songs were definitely cringe worthy (Celine Dion and rock, really?!?) but the last one was OK. Although I prefer the thrash(?) metal sound of all-women band Kittie (*) I actually kinda like soft chick rock like Avril Lavigne, Paramore or Evanescence…. and seeing an attractive woman in skater, goth or metal outfit hug a mic always makes me smile. Maybe I just never got it, but like some others out here I never was really that much into Metallica anyway. And no, I’m not 15-year-old. I’m actually your age, Noah. I’m even into IT, much like you used to ;-)
AND NOW FOR SOME OFF TOPIC RANTING :
(*) The fact that I could have had sex at a cemetary (I was kinda Goth back then) with a girl who looked and dressed much like Talena Atfield if only I wasn’t so totally clueless about women back then will probably haunt me forever. She even gave me a lap dance for ****’s sake and even that didn’t set any bells off. Aaaaargh… I was such a fool back then…
I’d like to engage in some light discussion with you, my good man. I’m personally not a big fan of Metallica myself (if my friend saw this, though, I’d probably be dead by noon), but the case with Metallica is such that even if you don’t like them, you must respect them for what they did in music, as is the case with other older bands such as Queen and AC/DC. What personally pissed me off about her cover was that she wasn’t SINGING, she was fucking SPEAKING. The Celine levels pissed me off mostly based on the idea that Celine Dion was trying to cover classic rock/metal songs. I like soft chick rock as much as the next guy, but to see someone trying to go WAY the fuck out of their league results in rage and rants, much like you have here.
As for your off-topic rant, feel happy. I’m 18 and only now in my first relationship. I’d have to go to Tijuana and pay to get chicks like that to pay attention to me. You got it for free, so be glad about at least that.
Barely quirked an eyebrow, man.
C’mon, Spoony! Bring the pain! I’m waiting…
*yans* I grew up in a house with enough Christian “rock” that this is NOTHING. I’ve seen worse on American Idol.
Avril Lavigne’s cover of Chop Suey was much much much much much worse than this.
SHE DID WHAT?!?!?!……
i couldnt listen to it for more than 3 seconds into her vocals of that
oh god… when the first song was ending i thought “wtf, the video isnt even half over? dear god”
You have to try harder than this Spoony. For the Deadpool to feel the pain.
Please use Avril Lavigne’s cover of Chop Suey. PLEEEASSEEE
Now THAT is pain.
FUCK YOU! Some asshat above posted that, and I tapped out of that shit after the fucking INTRO!
I think my skin just crawled off and hid in the corner. My eardrums just called it a pussy. I’m still here, gimme all you got! Unless you want to give in and make a REAL update?
What about Ashley Tisdale covering Rickroll?
I’ll admit Level 3 was tough, but 2 and 4 were a cake walk
On behalf of canada let me apologize for celine dion and avril lavign, the canadian secret to surviving their sining is stuff snow in your ears i barely survived the celien dion stuff but the avril lavign was more an emotional cringe them musical how could metallica let her sing any of their stuff
great, now my eyes and ears are bleeding. Joe was right about Canada.
Bon Scott is rolling in his fucking grave.
I spoke too soon. I posted that before the video got to level 2. She should just stick to her music. Leave Freddy Mercury’s legacy alone.
Freddy Mercury? The singer of AC/DC was Bon Scott. Freddy Mercury was the singer of Queen.
Level 2: Huh…so this is Celine Dion? Honestly, she’s not too bad. Why does she get so much hate?
Level 3: Oh, that’s why…
Level 4: Eh, not too bad…honestly, maybe your taste in music is just not as broad as mine, so this kind of stuff isn’t all that bad to me. Hell, I actually LIKE the theme to Sonic Free Riders and Sonic Colors. Heh, if musical “destruction” is all you got, I think I’m going to be perfectly fine. Hell, the first level was worse than this. This is actually a piece of cake.
Too easy, chief. I was thinking it was going to be eye gouging with a red hot poker bad, yet here I am poker free and eyes still intact. Keep going Spoony. Keep going.
there are few national exports we Australians can be proud of and AC/DC is one of them
those damn Canadians shat all over them
next they’ll put a stop to Paul Hogans hilarious tax evading shenanigans, assassinate Rupert Murdoc and stop us from selling weapons grade uranium to China
Don’t worry, we have the same problem. Most recently, they shat Justin Bieber all over our country.
you attempts to bring my pain bring only mocking laughter! I dunno maybe I’m just not invested enough in rock and metal for this to be anything but “teehee Celine Dion’s clothes are silly” I experience more pain every time I have to sit through the little fockers add before watching a blip video
I watched this with TNA iMPACT in the background.
Now I know why session #1 was so mild. It was to throw me off guard so I would underestimate THIS one.
Celine Dion…I…I tapped out at the mere sight of her name. I am disgraced and unfit. I submitted, and now I’m not going to get the Unlimited Headband after all of this!
Level 2 seems to be “Quality over Quantity”. It may not get as many people crying uncle and rushing for the mute button as say, Tidus, but for those that hate her…they HATE her. And she hurts us deep, in my case, with just the mere sight of her name. And let me tell you, the sight of HER isn’t doing me any favors either!
MEDIC! The Brain Bleach, please.
Eh. Popular Music as you know it has almost always been shit and will continue to be shit. I think you need to realize that there is little talent, finesse, or artistry in something like AC/DC or about 99% of all popular mainstream music.
I tried but I just couldn’t handle it I couldn’t make it. I… I mean…. WHY?!!!!!!???????
Watching the Leafs blow a 5-2 lead. This is nothing.
Well. I can never enjoy AC/DC ever again. Thanks Celine Dion. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SING AC/DC!!! GTFO!!!
At least the instrumentation on the ACDC song wasn’t bad, so it wasn’t that unbearable since I could just focus on that (Chris Tucker was worse). Now if she’d messed up the bass line… We Will Rock You on the other hand was when my brain checked out, and then Avril was when the migraine fully hit…
Level 2: Ok, I’ve seen it before, and it’s not THAT bad. Plus, if you pretend the two singers are singing about each other, then it’s quite entertaining. Oh, and there was cowbell. I like cowbell.
Level 3: NO. JUST NO. No instrumentation combined with Dion’s awful accent made this the worst. This should have been Level 4.
Level 4: Yeah, Avril’s not a good singer, but the actual music was ok. I’m not a big Metalica fan anyway.
Spoony, all I have to say is that I’ve see “Pocket Ninjas” and the original “Casino Royale”. BRING THE BIJ ON!!!!!
What the hell Is this? no seriously spoony!, are you now just posting crap to waste our time?.
Spoon-tock! Keep this up and there will be a spot on the Barge of the Dead for you!
Stop being a BiHnuch and show the warrior inside!
I wish I could post a picture of my face right (here) 0~0 OH….MY….GOD….WHAT….IN THE NAME….OF ALL THAT IS ROCK….HAVE THEY DONE!? AC/DC is one of my favorite bands, I love listening to their music. But this….This was harsh Bij! Ok, I know Celine Deon, but who was that long haired man attempting to sing with her? All the more reason to blow up Canada (Sorry, Phelous. You can move down here, maybe stay with Shatner, while we wipe out the garbage of the universe)
You know, if you had played Celine Dion doing “The Show Must Go On”, there would’ve been a bad case of black rage going on right now. Congratulations Spoons, you saved a life tonight. Bring it on foo’!
What’s worse for me is I literally just listened to that song before watching this. When I heard the opening riff of that song I couldn’t fucking believe it. Freddie was the only person who had the right to sing that song.
This video violates no less than six of the Geneva Conventions…. for Avril Lavigne’s portion ALONE!! You…. Klingon….. bastards!
Yeah, spoony, try watching the most painful Bij imaginable: The whole 20 minutes of the buckcherry song “Crazy Bitch” from the Cruefest concert.
By the time it was over I was screaming FUCK YOU!
I really dislike AC/DC but only because I hate the lead singer, I can’t stand his voice AT ALL, so level 2 was actually enjoyable. Level 3 sucked, no instruments and a she was singing off key, I hated EVERY SECOND. Level 3 just sucked, the Music was fair, but meh. Bring it ON BIJ, if this is the best you got then ill be a Klingon warrior in no time at all.
Why, oh god why!?
Celine Dion is pretty sexy…
For a Canadian.
Can we put these in “Make my Video”?
and make them all “Blindingly GREEN”
Your attempts are pathetic, Spoony One! Although Avril Lavigne was a step in the right direction. Maybe next time, you can show clips from A Serbian Film, now that would be a worthy BIJ.
Damn Spoony, you are indeed one sick, twisted bastard! You actually managed to top Chris Tucker.
But, I survived your precious BIJ. So bring on more you pussy!
……………WHY WON’T INTELLECT BOMB WORK ON THESE?!?!?!?!
Head is pounding and hands are shaking
Feh. I grew up on Celine Dion, man. Hearing her sing about some guy’s thighs made me crack up though.
NGH…OK, actually felt it that time…oh, Angus, at least Freddie Mercury has the excuse of being DEAD, godammit…still, the last part was tolerable, if only for the twin sights of Lars and Co. openly mocking Avril and the sight of what Disney Channel believes is “heavy metal.”
I am strong. BRING FORTH THE NEXT CHALLENGE, SPOONY ONE! I laugh at your genitals…
I never thought I’d say this, but I feel bad for James Hetfield.
Could have been worse. Could have been an actual Avril Lavigne song. Or Avril covering Celine Dion.
Or it could have been Avril covering Celine covering Limp Bizkit covering Queen. I’m pretty sure that would cause a rift in the space awful continuum
i don’t get it
whats so scary?
its just some old woman screaming
can you guys explain!!!!!
You sick freak! Aren’t you aware some of us may have sharp objects laying around? Well, I survived this round, and I have the scars to prove it.
thank god there’s no video for Avril Levigne cover, no, mockery of System’s Chop Suey, It’s…. There’s no words too describe it’s suckage
just listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU5-pGKP0LE
This was child’s play.
Honestly Spoony, you’re going to have to try a LOT harder to get me tapping out.
Honestly Spoony, you’re going to have to try a LOT harder to get me down.
i demand more, spoony one. more i say!
Well, be honest. It IS a video marathon of Celine Dion.
I can watch this and rest easy, because I know that NOTHING SHE EVER DID WILL EVER COUNT IN HER LIFE.
It’s like one of those YouTube videos where the guy parodying the music is trying really hard, but fails so much. It’s funny, but he’s still utterly worthless and nobody blames the butchered version for being the bloodied offspring of the original.
…alright i feel my headache returning. i’m starting to get pissed again. but it’s not jersey shore level. i don’t know how you could what i have already seen. and can’t unsee
What is this unholy abomination? Those…HARPIES tried to kill AC/DC, Metallica AND Queen?! Those are my three favourite bands and I had to watch others rip apart their great songs!
I survived this round…but only just.
I was wondering, what level is Pauly Shore in? Can he be in the next level?
I think I beat this game but I dont remember half of it
Holy fuckballs! I blew chunks at the avril level. Fuck that.
Level 3 is pure torture.
What is this BLASPHEMY!!! You made a powerful enemy Mrs Dion. The pagan Gods of ROCK will rain their vengeance upon ye!
I hate Celine Dion, but I didn’t hate the “All Night Long” cover. The Queen cover was pretty terrible though.
Avril Lavigne doing “Fuel” was more boring than awful, but at least the rest of the band was flawless.
You really want torture? Try sitting through Jackass 2.5. There’s probably about 15 minutes of actual comedy. The rest borders on… oh God, I don’t even want to think about it.
I couldn’t even get through this. You’re an evil, evil, bastard!!!
Almost as sick as the fuckers who thought those covers would be a good idea. :(
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
No! I survived playing the game you’re taking the Klingon clips from, I can survive this too.
What did we do to piss off Gowron to subject us to this kind of torture?
I once broke a foot on christmass, but compared to this IT WAS NOTHING!!!!!
Oh come on Spoony you can do better than that, Avril was child’s play compared to Limp Bizkits cover of Sanatarium
You know that one evil guy from Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark? Yeah funny coincidence, my face melted too.
You Sir… Are TRULY evil.
So beside showing us people at what is definitely not their best, what exactly is the point of this?
HAH! Level 2 was nothing! Level 3 was… a little less tolerable… but level 4 was music to my ears compared to Snoop Dogg’s “cover” of Sad But True.
My soul, it broke.
Spoony, man, rev it up; throw nostalgia critics anoying song in the world, with the mudkip video, and mix that with jenifer conelly’s performance in laberynth, while evenmore so in the background just bang Beck’s washboard against a wall. THAT will be the start to a soul-shattering annoyance knowing that it’s possible to mix those things together.
Do you know what that would unless upon humanity!?
I don’t get it. Technically there’s nothing superficially wrong with any of this, but there’s something just deeply fucked about all of this. I cringe. The levels are rising and I just feel compelled to skip ahead or quit right off. This is some tough Bij.
level 2: Celine turns in a forgettable cover – not crap, but not rocking enough either. Also, what’s wrong with the other woman’s voice?
level 3: Worst level so far – only the intro to We Will Rock You is instrument-free, Celine! Also, what the fuck is wrong with her accent – I’ve never been annoyed by a Canadian speaking before. Yes, she was speaking when she should have been SINGING. And the whole off-key thing.
level 4: decent instrument work, passable but not very emotionally involved singing/fronting from Avril. She has a nice singing voice but didn’t quite put in the necessary intensity that a metal song requires.
BIJ 1 – i laugh in the face of the klingon test
BIJ 2 – painful, cringing, they totally slaughtered that song, hahah that guy in the audience
when’s it gonna end oh god
people paid to see this WTF
for gods sake woman pick songs that you can actually sing..in fact thinking about it just be mute
it’s all about the head nodding man…
see Avril now, foot tapping, head nodding, lame rockin at it’s finest
…Alright, here is how it is.
…It was rough, all of us can admit that. But passable. I’ll admit, I had to draw my focus away from the screen more then once to reset my tolerance levels…
But I hope this is only a taste of how bad things will get. I want these pussies who posts before me who said ‘OH, THAT WAS EASY, LAWL’ to truly experience horror…
But, you’ll have a hard time beating me. At 14, I was subjected to contests between friends of mine for ‘What is the most disgusting porn’ and I was the one they tested on.
…Bring it. Make me hurt.
This video was just ear rapingly horrendous but I fuckin ROFL’d at Ulrich thinking “This is fucking awesome!”
Watching Avril Lavigne makes me remember I had her cd in middleschool. Oh I’m so glad I discovered real music shortly thereafter.
Spoony spoony spoony, I grew up on voyager and enterprise…..and this is NOTHING compaired to those!
Bring It on I SAY, BRING IT ON!
I’ve heard BrokeNCYDE…after that the fires of hell are like a warm summer breeze.
Well, That was harder to get though then the last one… Not looking forward to what part 3 has in store, but I will prove myself a man.
I admit it, you beat me Spoon’tag. The Chris Tucker one wasn’t even tough, but this video I simply couldn’t watch for more than 30 seconds.
Wow, that woman was dead set on that silly air guitaring.
I’m not sure what was going on with the queen song. It was like a general leading an army of former hip hop dancers that had since gone tribal and were musically bewitched into following her.
For Metallica, did anyone else get the feeling that the crowd was lip-synching/singing along with more emotion than she was giving?
42 seconds -_-
Needs more cowbell, I laugh at your bij, sir.
Also, Metallica killed themselves way before Avril could do it for them. And no one can make Fuel worse, NO ONE I TELL YOU.
Level 2: Ugh, I knew what was coming, pretty hard for a level 2
Level 3: Oh…oh god no. Are those guys trying to dance behind her or what? Jesus.
Level 4: Not too bad, 2 and 3 were FAR worse.
You ending was weak Spoony. I think your slipping.
Sweet Jesus! I tapped out at the EIGHTEEN SECOND MARK! I’ve never seen a Klingon air guitar before…it was brutal. Hmm? What was that? Celine Dion, you say? Well. That explains everything.
test 2 complete COME ON SPOONEY i am canadian this is normal for us HARDER DAMN U
Phase 2 complete this is nothing for us canadians we had to deal with her for years
come on do it
sorry for double post i had a crash lol
Bring it on Spoony! I can take everything you can dish out and come back for more… Sure I threw up a little in my mouth when I listened to the utter raping of this American classic… But I’m still standing Spoony! YOU HEAR ME?!? I’M STILL STANDING!
Just to be pedantic, AC/DC are Australian, and Queen are British. Unless you’re referring to Level Four, which I just this second reached, and
i think i’m dying
Well, that’s it, I have nothing to live for anymore. On behalf of the entire nation of Canada, I apologize.
Hey that was a totally appropriate reaction to what I just watched and I stand by it.
Bah! I’ve enjoyed watching these clips, I think Chris Tucker is such an adorable actor, and Celine Dion is a very talented rock singer.
Level 1 was easy
Level 2 was pretty bad
Level 3….had to skip through most of it, im not a fan of the original song to begin with and that was just painful
Level 4 was boring, the captions made the video though lol. James was about to choke a bitch, Kirk was in his own little wahh-withdrawal world and Lars,,,well Lars was Lars- a tit as usual.
that was a long nine minutes but come on Spooney you can come up with much worse.
God damnit I bailed at the thirty second mark. I don’t even like AC/DC very much.
* Friend walks in* hey Bandyman I…… Bandyman!? NOOOO don’t die on me!
Oh my God, Spooy! I fucking hate you!
I just could not, and I am being 100 % honest here, take this abuse. I work as a music critic and this is more than my hardened soul could bear.
Why, Spoony? I though we where friends. Well, perhaps not friends, since we don’t know each other, but still….
You killed me.
My ears!!!! They are bleeding! Damn you spoony! Damn you to hell!
call that painful your mothers smooth forehead now thats painful!!! level 3 was the worst but still your bij remains conqured oh spoony one! HA!!
a brit-cit resident
OMG. Okay you had me with this one. I give up!
Had to Skip after the first 20 Seconds.
…To say that this was a test of one’s pain threshold is a FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT! I never even APPRECIATED Celine Dion, and I thank God that I was saved from having to attend her concert by my school band, which played GOOD music that evening.
Damn it, Spoony, I trusted you! I knew you’d hit us with something bad, but THIS…THIS is TOO FUCKING MUCH! No matter what you throw at us next, NOTHING will beat this. But, being the dutiful viewer, I forced myself through the entire thing…and oh God, how I wished I had the balls to tap out early.
At least now I gain another reason to listen to the original songs in an effort to cleanse my SOUL of this vile, putrid fuckery.
On a lighter note, did anyone else get to the last video and think that it was Celine Dion butchering Metallica? Made those first few seconds that much more painful.
Did anyone else notice how the camera man in level 3 kept looking at the cealing? I think he was hoping the giant screen display would fall and crush everyone.
The Celine Dion parts were embarrassing to watch :(
No… NO… YOU CAN’T DO THIS, MAN.
I survived only to ~40.
What the shit. I’m a huge Queen fan, and when Level 3 came up, I wanted to slap someone.
I watched the the whole thing all way to the death of Metallica, but when Celine Dion butchered AC/DC I think I died a little inside….
I survived level 2.
Level 3, however? As soon as I heard her voice I had to stop.
You don’t do this shit to the Queen, it’s too wrong for words, I… I can’t take it. Sorry.
Survived..barely. This is unholy.
As an addendum to my last comment, I’ve heard Queen butchered FAR worse.
See Highlander: The Source
Well that was just down right pleasant.
So it’s been two or three years that I’ve been coming to this site, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt the need to comment. THIS MADE ME RAGE SO HARD THAT MY TEETH FEEL LIKE KNUCKLES! The first one with Chris Tucker was funny. THIS made me want to headbutt some babies.
Meh… As a french-canadian from Ottawa, I think I’ve got an immunity to both Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne (from constant exposure). Not to mention horrendous covers, like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXX4WBp_czk ;)
Is this truly the extent of your Bij, Oh Spoony one? The only thing needing enduring was the nine minute runtime of the video. Surely you can do better?
i just sat through both the BIJ videos.. and all i can say is… i feel raped… ill go get drunk now.. until the next BIJ video is up
… and spoony, crank it up a bit.. we will not be broken so easily.
This is for Final Fantasy, isnt it? We’ve made you play FF8 and FF10 so you’ve decided to come back on us and repeatedly smack us over the balls with a sledge hammer, well i say bring it on! You’ve already killed my soul and i am no longer afraid! Actually, after this, i’m scared shitless…
This is for Final Fantasy, isnt it? We’ve made you play FF8 and FF10 so now you’ll repeatedly smack us over the balls with a sledge hammer, that’s what this is all about. Well you’ve killed my soul, i say bring it on!
This is for Final Fantasy, isnt it? We’ve made you play FF8 and FF10 so now you’ve decided to repeatedly smack us over the balls with a sledge hammer, that’s what this is all about. Well you’ve killed my soul so i say bring it on!
I’m afraid, so very, very afraid :(
It was hard but I did it.
Chris Tucker was painful.
Celine Dion was funny in the first song, which was less painful because the chick on guitar was good.
Level Three was just plain blasphemy, because Queen is sacred, and my soul is wretching in sorrow.
Oh, sweet Jesus. And, Metallica was at this show! But, this is tolerable, because at least Avril Lavigne is cute. The most painful part is seeing the Metallica fans in the audience trying to pretend that this is good. But, that’s more sad than anything. I have lifelong neck problems, and I headbang harder than those guys, btw.
(If you want a good song from that show, check out the cover of “Nothing Else Matters” that Aaron Lewis did. Great mood on it.)
I persist, Spoony! More Bij!
Meh. If you want a REAL music-related test of strength and courage, try BrokeNCYDE.
Honestly, Dion’s music isn’t really bad, IMO, just very, very boring.
For me the horror comes from knowing that such classics were mutilated by coming out of her mouth on stage.
I mean this is beyond them being reduced to elevator music.
I’ve tried hard to make it past 4:20. I just can’t take it!!!!!!! *brain explodes*
Painful, but not as bad as level 1. Bring on the BIJ!!
not even celine dion can destroy rock and roll
I never thought i could see avril lavigne rape my favourite song but i did
FIVE! THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS!
Well…I dunno, maybe it’s because I’m immune to bad music, having to sit through a bad Christian Rock concert (it was that, or class…I should have chosen class), but this and the first (Fifth Element is awesome enough to look over Tucker’s performance). I can only hope Level 5 is truly destructive, otherwise, I really deserve a bat’leth.
you made me spill my blood wine spoony one! though i survived your bij my pet targ was not as fortunate :(
Oh, God. Level 3 was terrible, wherever the notes were supposed to be, she was about 3 miles out, as for level 4, I was quite a Metallica fan for a while, and it doesn’t even sound like she’s doing a specific song by them. It really didn’t sound like a song by them until she yelled the Give me fuel line. Not too bad when she doesn’t sound like she’s even trying to cover Metallica.
As for Level 2, would have not been so bad if she didn’t try and be all “Girl Power” and high 5 all the women when they did anything. Then, it would have just been a boring as hell cover with some BS thrown in because Celine Dion wouldn’t put together that being lesbian may actually get her that 20th fan she is crusading for (the hundreds of “fans” were all actors by the way, had to be, no one would cheer for that cover of Queen if they weren’t being paid)
The Bij has reminded me why I began practicing meditation. I was able to maintain focus through level 1 and 2. 3…I began to waver. 4, all I can say is thank god for guitar solos. The Bij shall not break me, Spoony. I shall pass your test and sit through it all.
Is this all, Spoony One? These are not the worst cover songs I’ve ever heard – sadly…
Dear GOD! I just had a thought. What if he makes us watch TNA Impact?! :O
That hurt my soul, I’m glad I don’t have much of one left. Come on, this BIJ is just getting started! Show us what you got! This isn’t anywhere near the worst pain I can endure!
I’m sorry… but Level 1 was way worse than 2-4… HA.. You have to do better than that…
Espically after seeing level One… I actually heard my ear drums pop on that one.. this one… I sat back and fell asleep! :D
Level 3: THIS IS BLASPHEMY, THIS IS MADNESS.
THIS…IS…a reeeeeeally bad cover.
Meh, too country-like. Killing rock is right. Much preferred the first one.
Although, if the point of these videos is to cause pain, yeah, this one succeeds where the first one didn’t.
So, what does it mean if you scream like a little girl in horror two seconds in? Did I fail?
Sponny, you’re a sick, sick bastard…
Why are people talking about level two as if it were three?
Wasn’t that bad. Not the worst I’ve heard or the worst slaughter of an genre.
Not that bad, probably because I don’t care for any of those songs in the first place. I laughed at level 3 (?) though. Celine Dion tried to make her voice manly and it just came out really weird.
SUFFER CANADA’S SEED.
To quote Necrocritic: “OW, my soul…”
Avril Lavinge could not even hit the high notes? Anyone who by some statistical fluke was a fan of both Metallica and Avril Lavinge must have died inside that night.
This is nothing. When you’ve heard Take That perform Smells Like Teen Spirit you can endure a lot.
Oh my gentle Jesus…if Kurt Cobain had a grave he’d be rolling in it. I thought suffering the Celine Dion video was bad. Spoony, you should make this abomination level 3 of Experience BIJ…you’d certainly have me defeated, that’s for sure.
There can be no Qapla’ in the face of Take That butchering Nirvana :(
Willie needs to show them how it’s done, damn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9YQYBfE8E4
Oh, no… oh, no! No! NOOOOO!
Ok now your breaking my brain. Damn you Spoony =P
Honestly, the two Celine Dion songs were the worst parts of this whole thing so far. I’m sorry, but Fuel is a horrible song to begin with. Avril Lavigne did just about as good of a job as Metallica did themselves.
Metallica died with Cliff Burton as far as I’m concerned. How they’re still around, let alone getting sheep to buy the god-awful albums they’ve been putting out since 1991, is way beyond me.
P.S. If you look closely, I give the band credit for having one decent album without Cliff.
Holy jeebus. Angus Young is rolling in his grave – and he aint dead yet.
I think I just took SAN damage…
oh god.. no more celine dion! this is funny as hell, but it hurts D:
Chris Tucker was easy to endure because I have much experience with The Fifth Element. But this… this was agony. Pure, utter agony. Especially Level 2 because it wounds my national pride.
This was… BRUTAL
Eh, it’s still better than Nickleback…
You fool! Don’t give him ideas!
Dave writes: wow…..I saw the Avril Lavine cover, so I was spared at the end, but……Jesus, dude…….That was just awful.
The Celine Dion ones were just bad, but I actually screamed when I saw the Avril one. NEVER AGAIN.
WHY SPOONY, JUST WHY?!
Celine wrecking Queen should have been level 4, it trumped that Avril crap big time. Still, keep the Bij coming Spoony, I still haven’t shut off a video in disgust. :P
By Grabthar’s Hammer, I couldn’t get halfway through before ripping my headphones off. I fail as a Klingon warrior.
But Spoony? You’re a monster. Kahless himself wouldn’t tolerate Queen being treated that way.
This only makes me want to nuke all of Quebec! GGGRRRAHHHH!!!
Spoony, you’re a real evil prick. I’m gonna go watch the source to feel better about myself.
make it stop please
I failed utterly at Bij 1 and 2. I couldn’t make it 2 minutes through that Chris Tucker video remix and not even 40 seconds through Celine Dion. It reminded me of when me and a friend were watching a Faces of Death video when we were like 13. There was a part about a couple that kills, cooks, and eats little puppies. We didn’t watch any of it and we saved that little bit of our souls. Bij 2 was like that.
OK… ok… ok…
Well, Spoony… I made it through. I watched it all. You know, I’ve been watching your sight steadily for a long-ass time and I’ve never commented… I mainly wanted to tell you about how I just watched Shyamalan’s “The Happening” and it was as funny as you said it would be (and it really was, I mean, shit, everything Wahlberg says… holy shit, it’s a laugh riot) but now… oh GOD…
Cris Tucker ruining everything about 5th Element… that I could handle…
But GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT… These fucking dumb sing-song bitches pumping out soccer-mom drivel and then covering true rock bands to prove that they’re hardcore… FFFFFFUUUUUUUU!!!
I’m sure the next “Bij” will include Sheryll fucking Crowe covering G N’ R…
Stage 4 was a bit of a letdown in comparison to the previous three. Perhaps it would have been more effective between #2 and #3, as a sort of “this isn’t so bad… OHDEARLORD.” After “I Disappear,” Metallica lost a bit of their iconography, while the exact point of when they started to be bad, after that one song where Metallica seemingly came back from retirement, claiming that they disappear, implying that they will disappear… only for them to start making music again… well, I’ll let the reader discern the implications for themselves. Though I won’t argue that she destroyed Metallica, at least she didn’t destroy iconic Metallica like “Enter Sandman” / “Wherever I May Roam,” etc. And hell, she was even wearing a black shirt and faux ratty jeans in the spirit of the grunge movement that she likely knows nothing about.
I somewhat agree.. but I also think it’s pretty sad that ‘iconic Metallica’ is Enter Sandman and Wherever I May Roam. Ugh.. bring on Ride The Lightning and Master of Puppets. Seek and Destroy.. For Whom The Bell Tolls.. hell, ANYTHING from the first three albums would be far more iconic.
..then again, Metallica couldn’t be as good as they were in those days if they wished it from a genie.. so maybe you are right in picking out the more ‘iconic’ songs.
Its actually the destruction of the iconography that makes it torturous. Fuel wasn’t that bad of a song, but it’s not the Metallica of fame. Just think if instead of Celine Dion doing We Will Rock You, she mutilated Killer Queen by Queen. Still a good song, but not as iconic, and possibly not as torturous
Only people who concentrate on the performance instead of the music fail this BIJ!
Fantastic, when it started with Celine Dion, my first thought was ‘What about Avril Lavigne’?
Oh dear god…I made it through…
I listened to the whole thing, but I HAD to stop watching at We Will Rock You. So awful…
I gave up on “Celine kills Queen”.
Sorry, but i saw highschool amateur bands cover queen better than this.
Ok I’ve tried again. Avril Lavigne was at least competent.
I could listen to it without my fingernails curling backwards and bleeding.
But Celine Dion was like a root canal on my dick ( if my dick hat teeth).
had to stop at 1:32, I went to hug my family and friends and thank God for the wonderful gifts He gave me…
btw, I’m an atheist
How is it that I didn’t even flinch at Celine Dion’s sections, but couldn’t keep more than a minute of Avril Lavigne’s down? Oh god… do… do I not mind Celine Dion?! I… I never knew…
*curls up in the corner* Damn you Spoony…
Oh man I nearly switched off when I saw Celine’s air guitaring, I can understand people who do it in the audience, but the act you are PAYING to see!? Really embarrising.
Enough! I confess! I confess!
Ok, I give up. You win. I CAN’T DO IT!
Maybe i’m pro torture but…that actually kicked a lot of ass. Like as far as Avril and Celine Dion (Deon…I dunno, the chick who married the old guy), it was damn good. Avril actually does have talent and when she does actually apply it to songs that are actually…you know, GOOD (Not Sk8tr Boi, yes that’s how she spells it), than it actually…rocks. Celine is like Neil Diamond, they can fuckin cover the Sugarhill Gang and it is tolerable. Sorry Spoony, but you gonna have to do a lot more than to break me. ;)
I survived, didn’t even break a sweat! Bring it on BITCH! These rounds were kids stuff, I’m ready for MORE!
Is this really the best you can do spoony?
Crom laughs at your bij.
Bah! Twas no challenge to a warrior of my superior bijitude!
Bring it on, Spoonyworm!
It’s true, it IS like a flesh-eating bacteria…
Ugh, something about Celine Dion’s pronunciation during songs is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
But Avril Lavigne singing Metallica is just hilarious. The poor thing’s trying so hard to look hardcore, but her voice is way too cutesy for it.
Dear god that was torture at it’s finest… I think we found the waterboard replacement.
Surely the titanic song was Celine Dion at her worst.
I’m a fan of Queen, but I always like watching people do bad covers of those songs, it gives me a better appreciation for how good the band was.
Ngh… alright Spoony… got me good there. BUT I GOT THROUGH IT. NEED MORE BIJ.
I can’t be hurt by bad media; I rented a non-MST3K copy of “Monster A-Go-Go” and sat through the whole thing, even the guy making the phone noise.
Some of that was painful
I think I just lost a 100 SAN.
Ugh. The Bij is strong with this one. Playing AC/DC on a Strat is just eleventy bajillion sorts of WRONG. At least Avril Latrine’s backing band did a decent job. Snoop’s version of Sad But True was worse, as was Limp Bizkit’s version of Sanitarium. THAT was true Metallica-raping Bij.
In the name of Kahless.
Oh Spoony how do you sleep at night, when you condemn us all to such torture?
noise makes warrior sad , makes warrior weak , warrior hates canadian fiends
Oh no! Not the Bij!!! Not the Bij!!!!!!!
Here are my reactions so far:
Level 1: Mildly annoying, though I’ve already endured the Fifth Element many times. This is going to be easy lol
Level 2: You monsters; you DARE defoul a classic AC/DC song?! Arrgh you baby eating bitches!!
Level 3: I just felt a bit of my soul die, it was painful. Not nearly as painful as listening to this was though. Freddy Mercury would NOT approve of this shitty cover.
Level 4: OH GOD IS SHE SINGING WHAT I THINK SHE IS?!! NOOOO, YOU SOULLESS WHORE!!!!! Seriously I think I nearly slit my wrists just to relieve the pain I felt from listening to this, if it weren’t for Spoony’s commentary it would’ve been completely unbearable.
I really wonder what you think could be worse than what is here already Spoony, regardless bring on the pain!!!
lvl 1: almost funny
lvl 2: pathetic
lvl 3: annoying
lvl 4: now we are talking guantanamo kind of torture with a lame twist.
All I know is that in the first one all I heard was cowbell.
….at least the cowbell guy is enjoying himself….
I do love how even the crowd is kinda dumbfounded.
and sadly, i dont think Avril killing metallica is the worst of them from that show. I do recall Snoop Doog covering somthing too. Not that he was singing.. just.. rapping.
Snoop did Sad But true and it was so funny
4:23 – “Buddy your yawn man, huh man, shotty gurdy street, gonna take a big bum some day…” Am I hearing this right?
You know, by the end of level 2, I was feeling pretty confident. “I thought this was a test for men, not children freshly weened from their mother’s teat. Level 3 caught me off guard. I think it wast he dancers that hurt the worst. Level four, that hurt on a new, deeper level than I’ve ever felt. I passed, but I have new respect for Bij.
Honest question. When I upload videos to blip they seem to make it very clear that they don’t even want me using so much as a picture that I don’t completely own the rights to. So how do people get away with throwing on some subtitles and then putting only copyrighted content together to be viewed for a profit?
I think that’s why he made an alternate account for these videos.
HA! You’ve played your trump too soon, Spoony One! I dare you to find something more horrendous than the abomination we’ve just witnessed!
Rubi the cat trumps you Spoony One. Now you must review Final Fantasy 13 as your punishment!
I don’t really get it O.o Seems like a regular cliche pop concert to me, then again, it’s ten times better than the one we have here in Lithuania so my judgment may be clouded.
Hmmm Anastacia kept me afloat in the first third but there was nothing that could save me from Celine’s attempt to re-enact the most awesome part of Live-Aid. Down I went.
Needs more cowbell!
Jesus H. Christ! I’ve never seen Rock raped up the ass so bad!
Spoony! You and Gowron have presented a worthy challenge. But I still stand. What trials will you present next? Jessica Simpson sining KISS? Bieber and/or Ke$ha singing anything? Antonio Banderas staring in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?
The advertisements were more Bij than this.
Level 2: I was too distracted by how much of Anastacia’s face was her shitty glasses and the idea that karaoke had become a Vegas act.
Level 3: Mercifully short but very dull.
Level 4: To me, Metallica is what happens when metal stops trying and consequently I really fucking hate them and the trash they keep selling as music so all I can say is this: SO CUTE! She tries so hard to be metal and it’s so false but you have to love her spirit!
Oh you are good spoony, i nearly killed myself at the queen bit, however i refused to falter. i simply cannot believe my cousin lost his job at Caesars to Celine she sucks worse then she ever did. But still bring on BIJ 3
I… survived…. but I would still like to call foul on having three levels back-to-back-to-back.
Ah, Ugly Bob. What have you done? I was going to make us a family again, but now you’ve slept with Celine Dion.
Ok, I admit, this hurts. Being an anglo from Montreal Quebec and knowing Dion’s “rep”, this makes me ill in the deepest way possible. Then comes Avril Lavigne… never cared much about her existence, but this video has shown me something I wish I could wish away. So thin… so weak… so painful…
The first level was the hardest to get through. Shoulda saved it for last, but then again it was a nasty shock to start off with. I don’t know what was worse: the epileptic air guitaring, or the desecration of the lyrics.
Level 1 was fine. Annoying characters written to be annoying.
But this… Ouch.
And the Avrill thing.. Everyone else playing that song was totally into it. They were like “HOLY SHIT!! WE”RE PLAYING METALLICA FOR METALLICA!!” and she was like “Wheres the check?”
All I can say is what could be worse than this? Bring on the next!
Your Bij is weak, Spoony One. Level one? Heh! I was barely annoyed. Level two made me smile it was so funny to watch those fools humiliate themselves. Level three almost made me cringe, but it was short. Level four was actually kind of entertaining.
I stuff my pillows with broken glass and listen to Tidus and Yuna laughing on a 6 hour loop on my ipod. You will have to do better than this.
Aren’t difficulty curves supposed to go up? Because the first time was more tolerable than that one video with screamo rap.
Second level was bearable because it was consistently shit from start to finish.
Level 3: That’s a different story, because it’s Queen getting beaten with the raping bat… again. But then again, it was far more painful when Queen was killed in The Source.
Level 4: Actually, the only reason it was painful at all is because I’m far too used to hearing Metallica with a male voice… As in the original one… That being said, it was easy to drown out the painfulness when I start imagining the real song playing instead. I should also note that I’ve tried singing this song before. I failed hard, but not as badly as this vocalist.
So far, the most painful thing I’ve seen in Experience Bij is the Klingon’s eyes… They stare into my fucking soul, man. It’s messing with my zen!
yeah spoony you have me thinking im a true warrior. come on torture me lol. also chris’s comment was hilarous!
Well, now you know who the masochists are on this website.
BTW: My pain is FAR greater than yours.
youtube – sparkly glowy jar jar
I’m spade and Tie Interceptor.
Bah, this is nothing, a mere annoyance!
You can drown out those meddling crows with a simple diet of Immortal and similar kind…
And speaking of those bands: Once you are accustomed to the harsher kinds of music, there’s a lot of comedy involved and most of your challenges become a simple matter of endurance, since you laugh most of the time.
i.. i made it im a real Klingon warrior!
Hey i survived the “Tokio Hotel” hype in my country… music wise, NOTHING can torture me anymore! HA!
This is nothing. We have already Tokyo Hotel and Jonas Brothers.
P.S Bieber isnt playing rock-type thing like these two but he is much more annoying. He should be on last lvl.
I have to agree with the other opinions about the Bij so far being weak tea. Great concept, but so far I’m not cowering in the fetal position.
Level 1: I find Chris Tucker annoying yes, but Fifth Element is a fun movie so that wasn’t unbearable.
Levels 2 & 3: I’m going to get serious flak for this but AC/DC and Queen, really? I get that they’re iconic and I appreciate their contributions to the rock genre but come on. They are far from hardcore. Listening to Celine is a nightmare unto itself of course but as someone else said this is less annoying than some of her own songs.
Level 4: I am a Metallica fan, though perhaps not as big a fan as some as this did not bother me overly much. The vocals were seriously lacking compared to the original but what do you expect coming from Avril? I’ve heard 90lb girls belt out truly demonic growling vocals before but she is not among them. That being said her band did a fantastic job with the music in my opinion, so I actually didn’t mind the cover.
Avril’s pathetic attempt to perform Metallica was actually rather easy. It was sad but forgettable. I’ve actually already forgotten what it sounded like.
Celine Dion, however, deserves to suffer as she has made me suffer. The AC/DC rape was bad enough but the Queen!? Dear Gods the Queen! What hath she wrought? And why?!? Why would she so such a thing? Was she trying to summon the Great Old Ones with her horrifying wailing? I actually heard the sound of madness for a moment. Thankfully it was short and nothing can be worse than that.
Bring on the Bij Spoony One!
That whole thing had me screaming obscenities loudly and inventively until my neighbours complained, what in the name of god is level 5 you evil bastard? do you personally come round to my door and shit into my ear canal? The absolute worst part of it is watching fucking metallica nodding a long to that shit like they approve of the fucking audio visual rape i am enduring, they had already established themselves as the biggest douchebags that can produce good music in the industry but fuck this, i can never listen to metallica again.
You BIJ sucks good sir.. You almost had me with Avril though, I cant stand that bitch!
I made it through the Squekuel this is nothing….do your worst Spoony One
What the fuck is this shit?
Oh no, Celine, not Queen, don’t don’t don’tdon’tdon’t– awwww damn.
Wow this is actually really difficult to sit and watch without doing anything else, impressive.
I have failed! The shame will dog my family for an entire generation!
ok………..(gasp) I…………………I made it, bring it on….spoo….spoony, give me your best shot, I sat through all this torture, BRING IT ON!!
That one hurt a little, but I’m still standing. Bring on BIJ #3! (I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?)
Oh god, It hurts my soul! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! No! No! Not queen! please, anything bu- AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Well, the Avril one isn’t too bad. At least she’s trying to make it sound like Metallica, and the band is pretty good. The Avril clip was mediocre but nowhere near as painful as the Celine Dion clips.
I’m ready for more Bij
MY GOD THE BIJ IS TOO GREAT!!!! Why doth thou torment us with such Bij!!! Level 4 was unbearable!!! I remember watching that… I almost cried. Her voice SUCKS! God my ears are still bleeding.
But I have survived the Bij. I need a moment before you inflict more Bij… But I will face that challenge. BRING IT!
Oh god… it burns…
You sir are a master of torture…have you considered a job at gitmo’s?
I tried to forget that Celine Dionne thing ever happened…
Well, look on the bright side, at least she didn’t do ‘Princes of the Universe’!
If that were to happen, I think I’d shoot myself.
So, what’s level 5? Keisha (I refuse to use that god awful dollar sign when spelling that accursed wench’s name…how dare she insult money by having that symbol in her name!)? Beiber?
Or is it something worse? A mashup of all of them…Madness of Roland style! EEK!
Wh-who… who…. who the FUCK LET CELINE DION GET ACCESS TO A MIKE!
AC/DC… god… she just… that was just… it’s like… I can’t even find words to describe how reprehensible that was. As an AC/DC fan I can’t even…
Metallica… Metallica… I can’t…
5: 53. 5:53. I could barely get through the first song (and no, I will not credit it with the title after Dion butchered it), but Avril Lavigne taking up Metallica was just…
No. I can’t.
I can’t finish this. I’m out. This is… I have no words… just…
Wait, I think I can… right. If you use all of the following terms in a sentence you will come up with something akin to my nauseated trauma:
- Mind rape
- Is to music what Scientology is to religion
- Blood won’t come off
- Homicidal rage
- Level of Hell where sexual predators end up
- Fire and brimstone
- Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.
I’m now going to go dig out my supply of quietiapine antipsychotic tranquilizers, and then I’m taking the next train out of Reality into Surrealistic Magritte-ism territory. Goodbye.
You Shook Me All Night Long: I can barely tolerate this.
We Will Rock You: WHAT! NONONONONO WHY
Fuel: *Bursts into tears*
Words that came to mind:
This is wrong. I must now claw my eyes out and tear out my inner ear. Thanks Spoony! Couldn’t have done it without you!
*douses himself in petrol*
Touche good sir.
*lights match, and ends his suffering.*
I don’t know… needs more cowbell.
Music endurance test.
1st one: no challenge.
2nd one: no challenge too.
3rd one: Avril? Metalica!?! well, there’s some challenge, but i survived it.
I win. That 1st chick wasnt bad in those 2 songs. Avril? That some good Bij’ing.
BUT YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME WITH YOUR BIJ!
level 2: Oh, Celine, honey, it’s ok, go back to your ballads and leave this to someone with the talent for it.
level 3: *whimpering* but… but WHY? What did Queen ever do to you?
level 4: to be honest, I’m not that big of a metalica fan, it was bad, but not the level of torture you probably intended. I live to bij another day.
all in all a worthy challenge, oh great Spoony One, but I can take more. Is this the best you can do?
Hitler scoffs at your Bij– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6wghdfklvE
An elderly women stumbling around in high heels on a glass floor just emits so much power.
Rich, white divas should display their understanding of rebellious art much more often in public.
I like where this series is going and I imagine it to be a very warm place.
For those who missed the challange and bravely demanding for more just watch “It’s Pat” (1994) to the very end. But do not hate me, you volunteered.
Well, just 2 things.
1 – Avril’s band is not that bad
2 – Metallica destroyed itself many tears ago.
I survived this quite easily I think, as I did with the previous one. Here’s a trick I found which worked well with this one:
I imagined that a teleportarium accident landed a Space Marine Terminator squad in the middle of the crowd at ‘level 2′. Correctly assuming that everyone present was a Slaaneshi cultist they opened up with their bolters, neutralising the “vile orrators” first. When their holy bolters ran out of ammunition it was clearly time for them to wade in with powerfists and chainfists.
Repeat the above for ‘level 3′.
‘level 4′ was a bit more difficult. Similar situation but with the following: “Look Brother-Sergeant, more heretics!”
“Not this again, purge the ones who don’t look like this is torturing them. On second thought, kill them all, put them out of their misery.”
It made it much more fun.
Pretending something else is happening for the weak! When battle comes to you, you won’t have the luxury of “imagination!”
I scoff at your bij spoony! You cannot defeat me in a thousand years with that pathetic thing you call an attempt at bij.
Dear shit Spoony, how could you be so evil to include Avril’s Fuel cover? That song was bad enough in it’s original form.
Hey, Celine. First rule of covering a song: LEARN THE FUCKING LYRICS!
You know, the Celine Dion butchering I could laugh off, “Ha ha, what an idiot.”
Avril Lavigne deserves to be hung by her ovaries.
ey, no hatin’ on anastacia :p. Queen was bad… But I hate everyone who covers a Queen song. Let’s not start about miss Lavigne… She’s trying so hard to be rock ‘n roll it’s painful! experience bij indeed!
Is that all you’ve got? I’ve experienced worse. I just saw a movie where women were being murdered by a claymation penis. This is nothing in comparison to that!
Would that movie happen to be called “Pervert!” ?
Weak….I have a musical background thus making me mostly immune. Sean’s Musical Epic Fails have had more Bij than this.
For Christ sake man … stop it … you dont … you dont know what you are doing.These are some dark forces you messing with . They will suck your soul and take it to the botomless pit where the dark lord Cthulhu slumbers… they’ll suck you dry . This is beyond torture … this is pain incarnate ….
You call this Bij? Please. I’ve seen pudding commercials worse than this.
Level 2: I laughed. I have seen more comfortable outfits in a Final Fantasy game! I did pity the poor guitar player, though. She looked to be in PAIN when she was asked to the front of the stage.
Level 3: Looks like it’s about to be a Proto-Hipster orgy up on her ass! And they went METRO for it! How cute!
Level 4: Eh… I have heard worse.. I mean, I’ve heard Anberlin’s cover of Creep! At least Avril sounds more manly then that bands lead.
You are not even trying, Spoony! YOUR BIJ MAKES ME LAUGH! Drop the big one! Channel all your rage into one single Bij, and we shall see who is the victor!
you need to delete this video, like now Spoony. Singing Queen badly is punishable with the death penalty. Posting two videos with bad Queen covers? You’re pushing it man! You’re gonna have SWAT busting down your door.
I won’t name any names, but certain people I know have met Céline Dion. She’s… Yeah…
You motherfucker! You call that pain!!! Give me something that REALLY sucks! I’ve sat through “Manos the Hands of Fate,” “The Star Wars Christams Special,” and “Gay Niggas From Outer Space” in one evening, with only “Lair of the White Worm” to break it up!
Knock off the child’s play and give me something that will haunt my dreams for decades to come! I spit on your grave even as I dig it!
It looks like a pair of soccer moms got a hold of too much liquor and decided to crash a concert.
By the way, Avril Lavigne should have not been a higher level than Celine Dion. Avril was like a break from the horror. Still, fairly weak BIJ. Bring it on.
Just found a REAL BIJ in youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrikZolg8NE&feature=player_embedded (Turn down volume… You´ve been warned…)
I appreciate the volume warning, but you have no soul for mentioning this.
To be fair, I think Metallica killed Metallica
Metallica revived Metallica with Death Magnetic, their best album since Justice, as well as their first thrash album since Justice
Limp Bizkit killed Metallica, as well. Their cover of Welcome Home (Saniterium) Was horrendous
I’m sorry, I just can’t go on! My soul is melting and dripping from my toenails!
I could have tolerated just about anything else but Mrs. Dion murdering rock/metal.
Well, the original is better but… I don’t think it sucks.
And then the second performance came on…..
You seek Bij, Spoony…truly? Follow the link to see true evil. http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=a3ae690a-4b0f-472c-9d1c-773d78f4f95c
Wow I think that is beyond Bij, that is at least the fifth or sixth level of hell!
I managed to last 37 seconds, until he got done doing that French/Russian/Whatever that was supposed to be accent.
How do you say “Fuck it, I’m out.” in Klingon?
God damn! That was pretty hard to bear, BUT I SAY CONTINUE! You may crush my dreams and rip out my ears but my will is strong! and as long as i have that will you shall never destroy my spirit!!!!
The upside of this is i know some performers that are moving up my list :)
If you seek BIJ just watch highlander 2 the quickening and the source in a double feature while an audio file of all the twilight plays and a looping audio file of that god damn fairy from Garzey’s wing singing show tunes
if you want true BIJ watch highlander 2 the Quickening and the source in a double feature while that god damn fairy from Garzey’s wing alternately reads The Twilight sega and sings showtones 0.0
omg this is whats waiting for you in Hell ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh No not Queen and Metalica why is pure horrer
I can stand anything that you throw at me, but this destruction of good Music is truly a low blow. If not for your humor, I would not have survived. Although, you forgot the new remixes of “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Time of my Life”. Also, for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking of Queen during Level 2, even though it’s AC/DC (butchered). Then Level 3…
lasted 39sec O_O fuck you guys i am going home ………
GRAH! Now that was a true challenge for a warrior. But I withstood the hellish torment! I AM PREPARED FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE! DO YOUR WORST!!!!
level 5 highlander the source’s beautiful rendition of Princes of the Universe, I’m sure Freddy Mercury rolled in his grave when he heard that, so if Zombies come to life and ravage the world blame that song, and celine dion.
Hah! You call that pain?! You’ll have to better than that, SpoonyOne!
We shall all experience Bij, Spoony. Square has announced the release of a sequel to the infamous Final Fantasy XIII, and yes, it’s gonna be called Final Fantasy XIII-2
Yes, women must be BANNED from doing music. Send them to camps and make them learn useful things instead, like cleaning!
Is this comment for serious? I can’t tell.
Because a dude with a deep gravely voice singing ‘my heart will go on’ would be just as atrocious, but I don’t think there’s footage.
I must admit, when I saw who it was in the beginning I was like: noo, no no no, nooo way. but I watched it anyway TO THE END!! can’t wait for the next one.
I can stand the first but the second was sooooooooooooooooo hard to watch all the way through
Why Spoony? Why do you hate us so?
Damn double post and my inability to delete comments!
AC/DC, the bitch had to kill AC/DC.
Level 3 I found the most painful, those lyrics were terrible.
You know, that was easier than expected:
L1 was easy since I experienced that before: TWICE (when that ‘scream’ occured in 5th element, me and my sister kept wondering “Who’s the girl screaming.”.. no we weren’t being sly).
L2 was easy since I’ve already seen it (that was that Diva special). Seen worse
L3 ..ok, that was pain… OMG pain. I love queen. How can you mess up queen? Bad High School bands with cheerleader vocals can avoid messing up queen. HOW!?!?
(sidenote: to the person commenting “Deep Hurting.” Thank you so much.. that reference saved my sanity :D).
L4 That was Healing, not Hurting. It’s Metalica and NOT the early songs. I don’t cry when someone trashes up a full garbage bag. Furthermore, she was cute so it’s an improvement.
Jeesh, I listen to MCR without cringing for goodness sakes! I don’t think you can FIND music based BIJ above my level!
Hard to hit me with movies either. I tend to go into ‘emersive mindless mode’ so I can enjoy the movie no matter how senseless it is. It’s not MANOS level good but it’s why I enjoyed Chris Tucker in 5th Element and why the only part of Matrix 2 I cringed at was the sex scene.
But I MUST be tested, MORE BIJ!
A worthy effort, but I have suffered through Nickelback playing Sharp Dressed Man on VH-1 Rock Honors. I DEMAND MORE!
More! More BIJ!!!
Too easy,oh spoony one,if only you knew the bij we ourselves have put ourselves through,as such I reccomend,garzeys wing dvd intro sparta remix
I have seen Zardoz and Manos: The Hands of Fate….. In a 24 hour period. Your Bij will not break me. Hell, I just saw Snooki in a bikini, with th lines of excess spray tan streaking across her falsely orange-ish leatheren hide like a fucking zebra’s stripes…..
Okay, that one broke me. My eyes went blank to protect my heart.
And did it work?
Hey, it’s the opening to FFX-2.
Spoony, I really hate to ask this because I know it is by far the worst jynx imaginable but how can you possibly top this one?!?
Well, I don’t know what Level 6 will be, but Level 5 is most decidedly Fergie and Slash doing Sweet Child o’ Mine.
39 seconds. I can’t push the play button. its… HORRIBLE
I almost tap … the pain , I can still feel it . It will haunt my dreams for years to come
what next ?
Just look at my icon and you can see what it did to my face. During the queen part I wanted zombie Freddie Mercury to shamble on stage and say “There can be only, not you!” and cut off Celine Dion’s head. Who the Hell was the guy in the white suit? The last part with Avril Lavigne did not hurt as much but she just does not have the voice for metal music.
You’re gonna have to do better than that. I’m from Quebec so I’m pretty much immune to Celine Dion even if I dislike her and her music. All your video did was bore me and a bit of disgust, but not the reaction you were looking for… Meh, do your worst!
I’m from QC too and you’re right! I didn’t even recognize her at the beginning. QC or not though, you gotta admit Lavigne Metallica is pretty terrible. You know when you watch something and the person’s about to do something very shameful or get laughed at a lot, and you just can’t watch cause you know it’s coming… but at the same time you really wanna see it…
Hurts a little but far worse for those who liked the original songs. Like the immunity I received against Chris Tucker by watching 5 of his movies (The Rush Hour trilogy I actually enjoyed), enduring “My Heart Will Go On” being played on the airwaves in the Philippines when Titanic came out has made Celine Dion less painful. But Celine Dion singing Metallica? Makes me shudder.
This one is the worst to me since AC/DC is my favorite group in the world. I hate Chris Tucker, yet the first video wasn’t that big a deal, but…this? Whoever thought of this needs a broken guitar neck shoved up their ass, splintered-side first. GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO TEAR MY EARS OFF.
Great, now Freddy Mercury is rolling over in his grave. Wonderful. Why is the cast of Bring It On doing back flips on stage next to her while she’s “singing”?
Hahaha, Avril singing Metallica. Me and my friend watched this. That whole show was absolutely terrible. Metallica are Icons, but they deserved better than that. You should’ve gone all out and put in Snoop Dogg doing Sad But True.
How can somone destroy Queen like she did? She should get burn for HERASY!
Level one. Okay, not too bad.
Level two. Celine Dion? I can probably handle it no worries.
Level three. Celine Dion again. Probably more of the sa-… Wait.
Level four. It can’t get much worse than the last o- HELL NO.
My little sister has Down’s Syndrome. As I am testing myself with this, she walks in, and starts dancing. Now I don’t know what to do!
Saddest part is that comments are full of people that didn’t grimace in pain at this crap, and like these people..
An inarticulate word of pain that came from my mouth. I was cringing every half minute. Very hard to write. I ground my teeth to stumps…. and yet I can still listen to Justin Beiber without batting an eyelash.
Must endure the pain… I shall be a true warrior! *sjhajkhjkahduhwkjanmvna*
Oh darn… my heart ju………
After watching this with my wife, she told me I’m never having sex again and I tried to give myself concussion.
P.S My wife wants to know if you fancy a shag.
Too bad the Bij stopped…
Oh hell no, its bad enough she comes from the same country as me, but she shall not try and sing AC/DC.
0:23 It’s just Celine Dion she’s harmless.
1:20 Okay this is getting bad.
3:45 The drum guy is having a stroke due to how bad this is.
5:36 Not sensing the Bij here. Maybe it is cause I dont like Metallica.
Nothing….Give me more spooney.
Rock music was WEAK!
The look on my face right now mirror’s that of my avatar… but I shall endure.
Painful, but it could have been worse…
I think I just threw up a little.
They just ruined a perfectly good song…this isn’t Bij, this is depressing…
Remember that scene in The Running Man when Ah-nold threatens to punch somebody in the stomach so hard that it breaks their spine? I don’t know if that is actually possible, but I elect Celine Dion as a human test subject.