You take medicine with a coke? I tried that once and it almost made me throw up.

Spoony, regarding your comments around the 4 minute mark: I’ve seriously been surprised about this in the past, but i’ve discovered simply by talking to a lot of friends/colleagues, that women are actually more likely to go see a movie because they’re hot for an actor then men would go for an actress. This still blows my mind to this day, but apparently that’s the way it is?

The line that killed Spoony, lifted whole sale from one of the greatest sic-fi films of all time. You know why that was a good film. Because it was written by people that had read a book. In fact they had read more than one classic novel and understood them.
Bay wouldn’t know what to do with a book other than blow it up. 

My general opinion…it’s going to suck. God its going to suck…but I’m going to see it anyway. Because I’m a sucker for anything involving robot violence. Feel free to hate me now. Because I already hate myself lol

I want your Dead Space T-Shirt. Where did you find it?

Didn’t Shadow Warrior make Wang jokes?

When you’re sinking to Shadow Warrior/Duke Nukem levels of immaturity…

Jesus, they did the “move Cybertron to Earth” thing again? Seriously?

They did that like THREE TIMES in the original show. At LEAST twice.

Well, Spoon, you definitely verified everything I expected of this film ever since I found out that MICHAEL BAY APOLOGIZED PUBLICLY FOR TRANSFORMERS 2!

Specifically, that it was not going to be as bad. But I somehow had a feeling it wasn’t going to be as good as the first film, which I liked. But I always knew it was never going to be any good after that. I fucking HATED Revenge of the Fallen. I’m probably going to hate this one, too, just less so.

I still have the first one to enjoy, though.

One thing always stunned when you make a Vlog about a movie you saw in the movie theatre and describe the reactions of the audience. (It happens with other peoples Vlogs about this as well, but I only reguarly watch yours, so…)
If you go to a movie here, as soon as the movie starts people get quiet. Unless there’s a “moment of hilarity” when everyone laughs. There’s an ocasional hushed conversation sometimes, because, well, it’s normal I suppose, but that’s about it. Applauding in the middle of the movie? People yelling famous lines at the screen as they come up? Other stuff like that?
That would never happen over here! Or what about…what’s the word…hecklers? In a Movie? No way.
I realy wonder on how diffrent the american audience seems to be. That’s to be expected, being a diffrent contry and all that, but still…

Here’s my thoughts:-

-The Clapping: This must be an American thing, in the UK i have NEVER seen this happen, even for outstanding films. I have also been to cinema in Australia/Germany and Japan and it does not happen, just seems really weird to me.

-Humans: I agree about the human characters, they as with the whole film were better than the first 2 but still not needed.

-That girls ass: oh my! I know Michael bay has all the 1080p IMAX HD ou-ttakes of that at home for a lonely evening, she is way prettier than Fox though.

-Military stuff: Yeah its a Bay film so it feels like an American Army recruitment film but didn’t you find the SEAL bit too obvious? It stood out so much that they just appear out of the water and the NEST team go “Oh boy the SEALs are here” Bay put that scene in after Osama’s death FOR SURE.

-Executions: I thought the Decepticons executing prisoners was a bit much for a kids film, but didn’t Optimus executing the downed Prime at the end feel really out of character? He is like a “paragon of justice” he should of let him go once he “beat” him.

So final thoughts it was better than 1 and 2 but is still only a 6/10.

p.s If that girls puffy lips bothered you so much you are going to LOVE Suckerpunch, Emiliy Browning spends the ENTIRE film doing that puckered lips/innocent as snow face.

Thanks for the video, and Bay – thanks for the Deep Wang.

Spoony, my good sir…

I’m not exactly a fan of these movies, but if they were “all Transformers all the time”, in a LIVE ACTION movie, wouldn’t that skyrocket the budget beyond the $195 million the Wikipedia page claims it cost?  I mean, in a Pixar movie you don’t have to make things hyper-realistic, because the whole movie is blatantly cartoonish CGI most of the time.  But in a movie where things are supposed to look real, this would cost an even bigger fortune than $195 million.

It’d also significantly lengthen the amount of time it takes to animate the movie.

Though, maybe it’d give them a reason to not go all epic-length on the films.

And nice, as always, to see Miles back in action.

Bay has this issue where he cannot empathize with the Robots. So The transformers are just robots just tools in his films. If you want to see action and killing the robots are there for that, want to see emotions you go to the humans. Bay needs to rewatch Avatar because in that film we feel for the blue cat people because Cameron made us feel for them by setting up the people as someone we could feel for and relate too.

So he believes all we can do is relate to humans, because his limited imagination can only relate to humans.

Could be worse Spoony, you could be watching Impact?

Its my birthday today. THANK you SOOOO much for making this review SPOONY!!!

Greetings from Norway!

“Deep wang. You will have to excuse my anger and dismissal of…the entirety of humanity. I had a headache and was in rather a surly mood.”
Its ok spoony if their is anything that will make people loose hope in humanity “or at the very least intelligence”  its a Michael Bay movie

I never did like the Transformers movies. I just watch your reviews. :P I love how you go on a tirade, and Miles just sits quietly; it makes me chuckle.

I’m with you on the no friends thing – just moved to a new place. (not that I had many friends back home, either.) I’d want to be your friend, even when you’re surly. :) 
And I totes’ think you’re better looking than Shia. (though I’ve been a long time lurker and have always had the hugest crush on you, heh!) You need to come to WESTERN Canada, man! 

About women seeing movies because they like an actor… It happens a lot, actually. (Like Pascal commented) I know, in my case, movies that I wouldn’t usually watch I might pick up because I like an actor in it. Though that’s not always the case … I wouldn’t watch My Bloody Valentine or something like that just because Jensen Ackles is in it ….

Aww Spoony, I’ll be your friend and I’ll give you a hug for your anguish *big hug*
 
I’ll probably still have to see this film for my mate’s birthday over the next couple of weeks – I suddenly fear for my sanity and my faith in the basics of reality :(
 
By the way, how do you upload a profile image? I’m seriously struggling…

Nice shoes Miles, really you can wear them to a wedding, then turn around and jog to your honeymoon, No seriosly I love you and spoonyone, this is a great review you two did, I like you all fiesty spoonyone

i belive those are the extended editions. Theatre release was under 3 hour n return of the king 201min

You’re complaining about headaches, and then in the same breath you drink a diet soda. D: When I was regularly drinking those, I had headaches all the time. ALL. THE TIME.

Miles seems a lot less nervous on camera now.

And I like your shoes, Spoony. They’re good shoes.

You’re really surprised some females went to see a movie just because of some guy, Spoony? I mean… you did go see Twilight in the theater and the same thing happened there. Now why these girls can’t get porn from the Internet like any decent human being, I don’t know.

Okay, okay, so I got dragged to that movie and the more I think about it, the more I want to deck every person in the fucking theater I was in.

We got there 2 HOURS early. You know what they talked about? They talked about how horrible Twilight was. Then about how pussy Harry Potter is. REALLY, REALLY, WTF IS WHITFUCK THEN!?

And then it started. I was hoping, well at least there has got to be some cool explosions and I can study the CG. 15 minutes in, I gave up on it as an action film. I did. The last movie I got dragged to was Hangover 2, and I was convinced now that this was just going to a low brow comedy. Fine. Slapstick has some entertainment value, not a lot, but some. So, the rest of the movie I took as a comedy.

I saw Ken, and I didn’t care his name was Wang. I laughed at his silly faces. I was blissfully reminded of Community, and then he died. 

The rest of the movie I sat bored and outraged. There are so many other better movies and shows to watch. There are better action movies to watch. 

You know if I wanted to watch explosions and cars, I could go to the truck derbies and monster truck rallies, which I have been to before. If I wanted to stare at a women’s ass, it’s one search away on the internet.

You can’t tell most of the robots apart, and what I found more annoying, is I can’t even tell what the robot’s expression is most of the time without a voice. Optimus is killing his teacher robot, and I don’t know if he’s sad, or angry, or if he even gives a fuck. 

And I know this is suppose to be marketed to men, but the women characters… FUCK YOU. There are 3. There is the annoying, inappropriate mother, the eye-candy girlfriend whose acting isn’t good, and the bitch government women, who apparently slept with fanatic guy. I cannot think of a time when a women actually does some sort of fight move or aims a gun at anything. Don’t tell me that eye-candy wouldn’t have been any less hot, if she tried to shoot a Decepticon. 

Also, minor argument, but correct me if I’m wrong that the museum hot gf is working at is the art museum in Milwaukee. And their apartment is in DC…. what? I mean the museum is a pretty recognizable building.

This movie isn’t salvageable. There are too many problems. There are too many plots, too many characters, the only characters that aren’t flat are pointless, the effects aren’t their strongest, the references to the US, are almost all insulting or make us look bad, the mood is A.D.D., the believability is none, the messages don’t make sense, and there are a bunch of plot holes and plots just dropped halfway through. You would have to change so much to make a good movie out of this, that it would be unrecognizable from this.

This movie is a waste. I’m not mad at Bay even. I’m made at everyone in that theater and in every other theater that applauded and or praised this crap. Because they only make this shit because we pay for it.

Sorry, I really needed to rant about this.

Bark at the Moon?

No really, Bark at the Moon. What in the fucking world does barking at the moon have to do with a war between transforming robots?

The Wrestler.

That was actually a good movie, though.

YES! a review! your twilight and transformers vlogs are two of the best things to watch on the internet.

dont be so down on yourself spoony, if i lived in arizona i’d totally be your best friend ^_^

Awww, Spoony I’ll be your friend!  Next time there’s a shitty movie you need to go to I’ll go with you.

 I was thinking about seeing the movie before, but after seeing this video, I know I need to see this shit!

45:25 nice ” oops breaking the 4th wall ” CMpunk talk there :)

The only good transformer movie is the one made in 1985. You know the one about transformers… and not about humans with transformers as sidekicks.

Thank you for the laughs. I do enjoy your pain very much.
I never expected anything good out of this movie, so it’s odd to me that you have any praise for it.  After the second one I had basically given up all hope that these movies could be even slightly not terrible.
I’m probably going to watch this after it comes out on DVD.  Hopefully I will be able to stand it better than the second, which I had to watch in portions.

so basically part of the movie was the plot of the 80s cartoon episode Transport to Oblivion?

I feel good about myself for buying illegal pirate copies of these movies. ^_^

that terrible scream shia lebaeouf does started in his disney channel show. Also, yeah, i don’t know why but i was so looking forward to sucker punch and it was…

it was mainly hollywood crap.

that bjork song was awesome, and the action choreography was great but i thought we were going to get a pro female escapism story and instead we got an anti-men but still overly masogynistic towards women action film with paper thin acting that masqueraded as an escapism story.

I’m sad about not liking it because i loved 300 and watchmen.

*gives spoony a heavy sedative* *Looks at side effects label: May cause permanent memory loss* Hmm I think we can only hope for spoony’s dwindling sanity.

Did spoony notice that Sentinel Prime said “There can be only one.” in like the last scene of the movie?

http://oi52.tinypic.com/281ga3n.jpg

http://oi52.tinypic.com/281ga3n.jpg

http://oi52.tinypic.com/281ga3n.jpg

Miles, your impression of Rosie Huntington-Whitely’s “durrrr” face had me in tears. It was perfect. 

I actually think Bay and producer Spielberg had the right idea making the human characters… well, maybe not the focus of the WHOLE movie, but from a budgetary and storytelling standpoint it was definitely smart to tell the story through their eyes. The only problem with this strategy is, if you’re going to make the human characters the focus of you movie, you have to be able to make them INTERESTING.

Michael Bay has not, can not, and never will be able to develop likable, interesting characters. He can do the “holy shit!” action stuff, sure, but all his characters are soulless stereotypes or total assholes. If J.J. Abrams had directed the Transformers movies, you can bet your ASS those human characters would have been more engaging, ’cause he’s good at that kind of stuff (lens flare fetish notwithstanding). But Michael Bay? All he gives a shit about is fireballs, shrapnel, and military hardware.

woooo logins. Opposing admitting things anonymously since 2011 *THUMBS UP*

Don’t apologize Spoony. Transformers will ruin everyone’s day.

haha your rants are the best as always If I watch this I’m gonna torrent it.. Ain’t giving M Bay a cent anymore

You know, now that I think of it, there’s no way I’m giving this movie a chance. The second movie sucked ass but even with good action, I have a feeling that the third movie is worst. Think about it, the autobots are protected by the plot and Transformers 2 proved it by keeping the Autobots alive and killing off 16 billion decepticons.

This is the last movie of this abominable trilogy, so this means Decepticons will die which I bet will include A-listers such as Megatron, Soundwave, Shockwave and lower rank ones. You know, I’d be fine with this if it wasn’t from the fact that ALL fucking A-lister autobots will surely survive.

*Claps* congratulation Mr. Bay & the people in charge of the plot, you do not know how to make a villain and you make me feel like a competent writer.

Seeing popular movies in America seems like a horrible experience. In England you go see a movie, you sit in silence aside from the rare and usually sarcastic comment to your friends, then when the credits come up you file out and start talking to your friends. None of this applauding crap 0_o

I think the most I’ve seen is once during Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Lost Skull, when Indiana’s son started swinging with monkeys one of my friends had had enough, shouted “And that’s how he became king of the monkeys”, stood up and walked out of the theatre.

(Deep wang  Shia Lebouf )

Noah,you are more handsome then he’ll ever be. ^o^

Hey Spoony, where did you get that cool shirt?

You know, is this a bad time to mention that they’re constructing a Transformer attraction at Universal Studios? I think it has something to do with the NEST organization or something.

Personally I liked the 3th Act and the Climax, but that’s it really.
The first two acts were…well Bay to put it lightly. The human story still sucked, the Transformer’s plot was…well better then Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
But Megatron shoudl’ve been in there more and should have had a longer fight with Optimus.

Never seen a worse movie? watch salt.

I think about it this way: my generation and beyond doesn’t NEED these kind of films anymore. Why? Because we have videogames. If I wanna watch crap getting destroyed or visceral action I’ll go play DMC, Vanquish, Bulletstorm, Resident Evil 4/5, or any of the many, many, many, MANY titles I have that have action I can control and understand. Stuff like Transformers, Sucker Punch, and The Expendables can’t justify their own existence due to the fact that the gaming industry can provide action more creative and interesting.

Seriously Spoony, take a day off and watch one of those movies you wanted to watch instead, you’ve earned it.

I saw Sucker Punch in the theater. It was terrible. It was almost good, then it got worse, then the ending just killed the entire thing. An that Dragon baby the ladies killed? Yeah I felt more sympathy for the mother than I did for any of the girls.

I do have friends just none of them will go see movies with me (thank (bleeping) god!)

I laughed out loud at your idea of the Decepticons allying themselves with Al-Qaida and the thing with Osama Bin Laden and Megatron.
Megatron: All hail Megatron!
Osama Bin Laden: Praise be to Allah!
Megatron: The fuck you said?
Osama Bin Laden: Praise be to Allah!
Megatron: Fuck you! Hail Megatron! *Bin Laden is splattered by Megatron’s fist*
That’d be so damned funny. XD

is there a reason this is named after an OZZY OSBOURNE song?

3D is a total scam. I have only ever seen three movies in 3D (Toy Story 3, Tron Legacy and Pirates 4) and the last two were only one-third 3D tops. I don’t know how much more ticket prices are in the US but I am not willing to shell out the extra £4 ever again for a few cheap gimmicky effects. Toy Story was pretty cool in 3D, I guess because it was animation, and it is also the only movie I have ever been to that got a standing ovation at the end.
     Shia LeButtfuck fangirls? That is just creepy. I will go and see a movie just because one of my favourite actors (eg Kurt Russell) is in it but that is because they bring something whether it is just screen presence, comedic timing etc, not just because they are hot. You two are sexy beasts compared to many of the so-called hot guys in movies today lol. Shia can’t act for shit and he just drains the energy out of a scene.
     I only ever saw the first movie and I think I will leave the other two movies. The first Transformers was brainless entertainment to me, apart from the scenes with the human characters that were, like you say, painful to watch. Noah, I don’t understand people were calling you a hypocrite. Critics go and see movies all the time they know they are not going to enjoy but they watch them because that’s their job. You see how many movies the likes of Roger Ebert, Mark Kermode etc go and see, and they hate them with a passion, possibly even knowing they are not going to enjoy them beforehand. Are they all hypocrites too?
     Thank you Noah and Miles for saving three hours of my life xoxo     

Well Spoony, you would probably have an absolutely hilarious conversation with Brad Jones about this movie. He also violently hates this movie and thinks the writers should stop writing movies forever.

Trust me Spoony, there are women out there that watch movies just because a “hot guy” (me wanting to throw up about Shia-whatever-the-fuck his last name being considered hot) is in it. Why do you think those retarded Twilight Movies are popular? Women(including my own sister) watch those for shirtless guys, regardless if the plot is good or not. I know there are many girls out there that would like “to do the naughty” with them. Thank God I’m not one of them.

As Ive blocked every live action Transformer from my mind I have to say I disagree I thought Nimoy did a great job as Galvatron. 

I just saw this movie and I walked away wanting to cry. You could see where Bay looked back at Revenge of the Fallen and tried to make some amends. For me, the CGI was a lot clearer.  I could make out what was actually happening in most of the big fight scenes, though some did still devolve into fuzzy, blurry CGI blobs that nobody could figure out.

What gets to me is that this movie had potential. If Bay had trimmed down the beginning, all that job-hunting crap, leave the parents out of the film, and focused on the conspiracy angle until the shit hit the fan, and then tightened and trimmed the 3rd act and the finale, it would’ve been amazing… Except that this film’s plot retroactively rendered the other two film’s plots pointless or impossible. Maybe that’s a good thing, though.

Also, WTF was up with Cybertron? It just looked like a mess of diagonal surfaces around enormous hexagon-shaped pits. And none of the Autobots blinked an eye at it’s self-destruction?

And wouldn’t having a planet that size so close to Earth orbit cause catastrophic damage, tidal changes, and all sorts of stresses that would basically tear our planet apart? It’s sad that this film went back to the Generation 1 episode “Countdown to Extinction”. At least the cartoon addressed what having another planetary body in close proximity would do.

I take back what I said. It wouldn’t have been amazing. But it would’ve been a bit easier to watch, and maybe enjoyable simply as mechanized mayhem and good action scenes.

Revenge of the Fallen I think was Michael Bay let off the leash. For this one it sounds like they managed to reign him in again and spared viewers from his juvenile sense of humor. I still have no plans to see it.

You are sexy Noah.

Not even a minute in and already I can’t stop laughing at the fact that you brought a notepad…  Oh, you.

Miles should have his own show.    I’d watch it.

Alright, for those of you who have been reading my comments about “Sucker Punch” and so on, I just watched the extended blu-ray version with the special features of Zack Snyder and behind the scene footage included as the movie plays. First off, I do have to admit that the extended R-rated version feels, I’m going to use the term, “more appropriate” than the cut down PG-13 version. It still is a script that doesn’t make much sense and has the somewhat unusual vibe to it, but it does feel more “appropriate” with it being for a more adult audience, even considering the elements in it. 

Second, I don’t think there are many people who understand what kind of things go on when it comes to the process of making a movie. Michael Bay does feel like a director who can just throw a movie out there without much planning towards it. Yet that doesn’t mean that it takes a lot of different people with different mindsets and a lot of time to make a movie, not just being Bay himself. And people don’t seem to get that stuff happens that interfer with the process of the project. Producers, editing, etc.

When people bash a movie, it is sort of like one person putting down a whole small nation of people who I have to admit still know more about handling elements to making a film more than I’ll probably ever know. And I know it doesn’t mean everybody is an idiot within that group. I still at least try hard enough to see what I could like and I think it’s easier for me because I’m a person who is interested in the field of art and writing. And not everybody in the film industry is glamorously rich and so on. People still want to do the jobs they want to do and continue to do so to stay alive and enjoy their careers like everybody else. I do have a friend who won a daytime Emmy who lives out in Burbank and I’ve been backstage to some of this stuff and the people do work very hard. 

As for some of the people saying that people like Michael Bay deserve to die or anything like that, I’m appalled. Shame on you for actually wishing death on another human being. And over what? A movie. You don’t have to like the movie, but why waste your energy on actually wish something like that? Same thing for wanting harm to come to people who don’t agree with your opinion about it. I have a friend whose a university professor of writing and he knows he didn’t like the second one or the first one, but this one was a least bit better than the other two and he had fun watching it. Let I make note that not everybody on the face of the Earth was interested and went to go see it. Only a large group of people went to watch it. The world is made up of billions of people and only thousands went to go see it. Some of them probably didn’t want to go like the embarassed girlfriends Spoony mentioned or parents with kids who wanted to go see it. It doesn’t mean all of humanity is doomed.
Like what I’m doing trying to do a review for “Sucker Punch,” I’m at least trying to do a little homework and to figure out some things with an open mind and be reasonable and logical as I can. I thinks that’s the problem that comes to going to see a movie, but not really understanding other things that were included to go along with it until it comes out on DVD. Nobody is perfect. And imperfection is mostly in the specifically-developed mindset eye of the beholder. Just some food for thought and sharing my personal opinion. 

Ok, I saw it tonight. It was terrible, mostly. Despite being not as obnoxiously bottom-of-the-barrel as Revenge of the Fallen was, it still was pretty bad.

Well, that was it, I saw all of Michael Bay’s terrible take on Transformers. I will do my best to purge my memory of these movies, and I maintain that the only actual Transformers movie (for me at least) is the cheesy-as-hell animated movie.

If anyone ever decides to reboot this, be sure to actually concentrate on the Transformers, for a change. 3 movies about Shia Le Bitch accidentally hanging out with the Autobots were more than enough.

DEEEEEEP WANGING! DEEEEEP WANGING!

-Dr Forester.

2hours and 40minutes for a 10 second battle of Optimus vs Megatron.  And they applauded?  ALL OF MY HATE.

RotF was 150 mins
DotM was 157 mins… so not really and Bay has said he is done with Transformers but Hasbro wants more movies made with or without Bay.

My “friends” dragged me to this movie, the only thing i thought afterward was “can i get the last 3 hours of my life back”. this movie sucks so hard. The comedy hurt and couldn’t understand why everyone was laughing. And don’t do the usual “but i just want to see robots fight” argument cause it even fails their. In a 3 hour movie called Transformers less than half an hour was dedicated to robots fighting, instead we follow a army group that we know little about and couldn’t care less about.

Spoony, I’ll be honest. I think you should let Miles do the next Vlog alone, simply because I personally find it distracting to hear you scream at the camera. Normally I enjoy when you are suffering from a bad movie. This not only just makes me really uncomfortable, but I am seriously worried about your health. O_O

On the other hand, the way you present yourself here undermines your points, because to be honest, I cannot think of a way taking someones opinion of Shia LaBeouf being a whiny bitch seriously, while the one presenting this opinion is whining himself. I know you do this to please us, so we hear your opinon, but I think it would be much better for all of us if you just wit one day or two before makeing a Vlog or made a written review instead, when it comes to something like Transformers.

I’m glad I didn’t go see Transformers: Brokeback Saloon

On the plus side, you get to play a lot of Final Fantasy X-2.

I got thrown out of the theater because I started shouting that the movie was retarded and that anyone who was over the age of 12 who was enjoying this P.O.S was fucking brain dead. I also got a ticket for being a public nuisance.

I took great pains to avoid seeing this movie in 3d, and in the end it just wasn´t worth it. I just went to see it because I´m a huge sci-fi nerd, and need this crap every once in a while like a drug to satisfy the whole robots-and-guns craze. It´s sad, though, that Michael Bay´s the only supplier…

I´d like to leave a couple of thoughts about the movie:

1- 3d is the current movie bane. It´s over-hyped, it barely adds anything good to the movie, it gives me headaches and it´s expensive to boot.

2- Michael Bay isn´t completely oblivious to comments about the previous movies, for it´s clear he made some changes in accordance with them, but it´s always little things. Big things he keeps, only to add bigger thigs.

3- If the movie is for kids, why are there brutally explicit death scenes in it?

4- “Alas, poor Ironhide! We barely knew him, now that we lay him to rest, somehow less awesome now he´s been shot in the ass…” Of all the no-name Autobots we barely get to know, why kill off Ironhide? Shoot Sidewinder, who we don´t care about, or that new red Autobot (Dino?) we see glimpses of. Ironhide wasn´t given any depth either, but he survived 3 Michael Bay movies (an achievment, in and off itself) only to die an inglorious death at the hands of Leonard Nimoy. So, not only we loose a recurring character, the good guys loose a great deal of firepower as well.

5- Shoot Shia out a cannon!

6- Shoot Michael Bay out a cannon! And make a movie out of it!

7- Hell, let´s shoot the whole cast out a cannon! The movie is called “Transformers”! “Transformers”! Is that such a difficult concept to understand?

8- Exposition, exposition, exposition…Remember the scene where Shia and Turturo are talking with the russina astronauts and Shia is just blurting out what he figured about the Decepticons plan? What possible good could come out of just telling this guys that little theory? Were they going to pick up their AK47´s and join the party?

9- When Sentinel Prime opens the first portal and 200 Decepticons march out guns blazing, why did they felt the need to hide after that and not go straight to the whole invasion business? Was it out of shame?

10- I saw the cartoon episode where Megatron tricks Optimus into pulling Cyberton into Earth´s orbit too, Michael. And it didn´t end well.
Physics 1-0-1; two solid objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Remember what was happening in that episode while Cybertron drew ever closer? I´ll give you a hint: the sun wasn´t shining…

11- Kuddos for getting rid of Skids and Muddflap, even though you replaced them with Wheelie and Whats-is-face. So, back to square one.

12- Why should intergalatic robots develop accents?

13- I held out hope throughout the movie (the whole length of it) that at least one internet rumor came through, but it didn´t. No Superion!

14- 154min is a LONG running time!

15- If all it took to infiltrate Decepticon-occupied Chicago was a couple Seal guys swimming up a sewer, why did they think the para-gliding thing was a good idea?

16- Essencially what you´re telling me is that Optimus is the only bad-ass in the Autobot group. It´s the Dragon Ball Z Son Goku syndrome all over again. The good guys can huff and puff, but they can´t do anything by themselves until the main protagonist flies to the rescue!

17- Megatron does absolutely nothing the entire movie! It took a blond bimbo with bottoxed lips and a few 2-cents psychology lines to get him off his ass.

18- Shockwave says one line the entire movie. Now that´s eloquence for you!

19- Any of you guys want to go fishing? We got worms to spare…

20- Why couldn´t the Wreckers combine to make a larger bot? To make up for the fact that 3 wreckers can´t replace one Ironhide, you know… Just a thought…

21- Alas poor Megatron! After having been whooped in the previous movie finale by a pumped-up Optimus, you got your head and freaking SPINAL COLUMN torn off by him again, only this time Optimus was completely beat up and had lost an arm at that point. What´s your excuse now?

22- How many weapons can Optimus pull out of his ass before it becomes (more) ridiculous?

23- Is there a form I can fill out to pick a new director and a new writer? I can think a couple of name at the top of my head to replace the Bay-Kruger tag team that not only would go over quite well, but could pull probably pull off an award-winng movie or three…

Well, sorry for the rambling! Comment in whenever!

I cannot fathom the whole applause thing. Even when that does not happen in Mexico, I can’t even imagine people doing that for THIS movie.

BTW: I truly believe this is the worst movie I have ever seen.

Oh Spoony you poor bastard. That really has to suck seeing that movie, and you looked like shit after. Perhaps you should have gotten sleep before the Vlog. But anyway, entertaining as usual. Although I think Miles gets a bit of enjoyment seeing you rant and be tormented. Especially at the end when he again makes the wang = phallic reference with a big shit eating grin on his face.

Dick move Spock… dick move.

There was a lot of stupid shit in this movie…just like in other two movies, but people who really enjoy it, enjoy it not for a deep storyline or unfunny jokes, but that moments of “Fuck Yeah” and Michael Bay movies are full of them…and being a Reb Brown and Wrestling fan you should understand audience who gets excited bout movies that are JUST fun to watch.

Saw this… Still laughing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buavdahxGfI

ENJOY!

I’m surprised nobody’s come to this conclusion. Do you know why Shia acts the way he does, why the plot must revolve around him? Because he IS Michael Bay! He’s Bay’s avatar in all the films! It’s the reason he has such an offensive personality!

michael bay is a fucking bitch ruined transformers for me

Just a little correction, Megatron blew up the Lincoln Memorial and sat on it because it was a callback to an original episode, in which he does the same thing. I don’t know if that makes it more offensive, actually.

I love the Spoony One. 

I liked the film not for the story but because Nimoy fucking voiced sentinal prime and it wasnt bad i do agree i will watch it again and it was good better then two but…not as good as the first one

It’s a Bay movie….seriously, what did you guys expect? Just enjoy it for what it is…mindless action and good visuals. :-)

If you want to see a REALLY long, but good movie, watch the uncut version of Das Boot.  It’s runtime is 5 hours.

You took notes?  So did I.  I was in there with a crowd of boys who only wanted to see the girlfriend.

Dude, your buming me out ;). But I agree, this movie hurts. And for people who says, “enjoy it for what it is” ITS A FUCKING AWEFUL MOVIE! Its not even good action! 30min action and 2h shit! Make it a short movie with just the transformers and hell I buy it!

Spoiler ahead. Shia killed Starscream. That is wrong on so many levels. Megatron should be the one to kill Starscream. This is the total fanboy in me writing.  Being a fan of the original cartoon and 1986 movie, Starscream dying by the hands of Lebu**fu** is just so weeeeaaaaaak.

I think it would be nice to hear what you thought of Sucker Punch ;)

This movie pissed me off when it came to the villain. It was supposed to be Shockwave, my favorite decepticon. Then it went to Sentinel, which was awesome but still disappointed me. But then they take Shockwave and make him just another killable enemy.

Transitioning to a GIANT ASS IN 3-D! Only Michael Bay would be enough of an untalented douche to entertain his audience by rubbing his giant ass into their collective faces.

At least they could comprehend that this scene was stupid. Sort of a drop in the bucket, though.

I have seen this a while ago and I have watched Noah & Miles here, Lindsey’s video with Todd and Lisa, and even Brad’s video.  I have come to conclusion that all of you had the exact same theater experience me and my brother had.  My god, how do people love this….words can not describe what this abomination to cinema is.  You even mention this franchise to my brother and he will start raging…bad.  Actually I start raging something fierce as well.  At the end of the film I actually sat there in shock and actually said out loud, “What the Hell was that?!”  Me, my brother, and my cousin (who was with us) left that theater and before we ever reached the car I started going off, then my brother let loose, and we went on for about an hour about how bad, how terrible, how inexusible that film was.  Uh…I think I wrote a small note about it or something on facebook about it.  What drives me crazy is how people love this film and their arguement about my strong critiques are “Oh you don’t like it because it isn’t like the old show.”  Fuck you.  The old show, as I looked back on it, was corney and stupid.  It was made to sell toys and that is what it did.  I loved it as an innocent child but now….not so much.  I want to go on but it would take up a fifth of this page.  Have a good night/morning fellow fans of Spoony.  :p

He likes Oldboy? YAAAAH!

First things, first everybody chill out about this movie, I have watched it and have found it not to be as bad as Brad Jones, or Noah or Lindsey feel about it. I mean what’s going on, I watch it and really there’s nothing that makes me cringe in fright or scream in terror. I mean for the love of god, what’s freaking going on. And as far as the I can’t make sense of who’s the good guys or the bad guys, bullshit, how then can I FREAKING TELL WHICH SIDE IS WHICH WITH NO FREAKING PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER. I mean I know this film series isn’t any good, not at all, its not even Iron Man good. And as far as the allusions to Challenger and 9/11, I see it somewhat, but to me it seems concidential to large degree, either that or vague. Look, I hated the casting of Shia Ledouche from the first movie on, I had to just settle for it. Yeah, him whining about his job and his life is stupid as all hell, but somehow this movie seem to try to rectify the major mistakes of the trainwreck sequel, and it almost succeeds. Look, I have never understood  the venomous hate drived on this series, you people are blowing  these movies way out of proportion, so they make a lot of money. A lot of movies are stupid make a lot of money, look at Hangover II, the Twilight series. But on the other hand some smart things make a lot of money, just look at The Hunger Games. Now maybe its just that, the first I kind of enjoyed save for the urination gag and  Shia Lebouf’s acting. The second, I know huge fucking trainwreck from beginning to end, its a bad sign when the only characters I care for are the autobots (Skids and mudflap exception), Josh Duhammel’s, Tyrese Gibson’s, and John Tuturro’s. The rest I wouldn’t care if they fell into a fucking lava pit and burned, especially Leo Spitz and those twins especially. But to me it wasn’t the worst movie to be thrown on us in 2009, there were plenty of other contenders. It was just another typically really terminally stupid Michael Bay sequel/movie in the vein of Bad Boys II, yeah there’s some racial stereotypes mabye some homophobic attitudes, and a lot of jingonism, but that’s what I expect from a freaking Michael Bay movie. I’m sorry these reviewers act like this is the first time they have seen this director do a movie, when they haven’t and if they have such a venomous bile of hate for these movies and their director, then don’t fucking watch it. I mean not even for the review for the site. I mean all that happens are rants like this one by the nadir of overeactive, smug internet reviewers Noah Antwiler, a man who proved in his review for Tron: Legacy that he basically never watched the movie and fell asleep. Its also stupid that people are called morons and drones for going  to see these movies, I for one, a man who goes sees movies both smart and stupid, artistic and mainstream, am angered by your insuinating that people are stupid or are a race apart from you or something like that. Or that we are aliens or something, and that you are something evolved beyond humanity or something. I mean I realize there are many other better brainless action movies out there, many I could go see a Die Hard movie and get a better movie out of it than Transformers 3, hell I could go see Armageddon and get a better movie out of it. But I love the Transformers series for one reason and that it is because  through all the racism, the callousness, the bad characters, the jumpy action scenes, the messing with history, the painful allusions to disasters. I at least feel that at the end of 2hours and something minutes, that I watched an unintentional comedy of sorts, it isn’t Transformers but its enjoyable just to watch the pure abject WTF attitude to everything in these movies, the gaping plot holes, the over the top acting of Shia Ledouche who can’t go a movie without his trademark yelling or repeating of a word like GO OR RUN (In a way Spoony, this guy to me is almost a modern day Reb Brown in this regard, minus the heroic quality). I mean I laugh at this film series for all the wrong reasons and I also say to myself in no way do I think this movie series is any good(the first almost reaches it, it is merely ok). So to you Spoony/Noah and the rest of the guy with the glasses reviewers who feel this way about this movie series also have to learn another thing here. Hating these movies, doesn’t work, they just continue to make more money anyway,. There is a reason why these movies are called critic proof. It is instead a better thing to laugh these movies off, they are nothing but the drivel that Michael Bay makes and nothing more. The kind of drivel I expect out of him, and other summer action movies, and I simply just laugh as I put up my feet and laugh, in the face of the pure awfulness of Bay’s direction and the writing of his movies.  If someone happens to like it, to me its more power to them, personal opinion, there opinion I might not always respect but respect it I do. I say the anger you show to these movies, is giving more power to them. I laugh at your anger and torment at watching these movies. When these movies don’t bother me a bit.