Vlog 7-25-11 – Bloodrayne The Third Reich

Spoony | Jul 25 2011 | more | 
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The brothers review the capstone of Uwe Boll’s Bloodrayne trilogy!

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  • Anonymous

    Oh Smeg, I KNEW I shouldn’t have checked this site “Just to kill a moment of time” as I get ready for my morning walk.  Dammit, I wanna sit down and watch the brothers rants I love so much, but exercise calls, and I gotta do it before that hot California sun comes up.  Gonna have to rush this one then watch me the Hell out of some Boll-Bitching as I get back. 

    Damn you, Spoony for having a similar sleep pattern as I do!

    And you stay put, video!  I’ll get back to you! 

  • http://twitter.com/richardcobbett Richard Cobbett

    SHAMELESS PLUG. A quick Agony Booth style recap from the other week which folks might find amusing. http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/07/16/saturday-crapshoot-bloodrayne-3/

  • http://twitter.com/richardcobbett Richard Cobbett

    SHAMELESS PLUG. A quick Agony Booth style recap from the other week which folks might find amusing. http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/07/16/saturday-crapshoot-bloodrayne-3/

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joseph-Sanchez/707353153 Joseph Sanchez

    Spoony, I love your work. I even love your vlogs (though at times you can ramble when you haven’t pre-planed what your saying).

    That said, is it at all possible to break these up into two parts? I freely admit that I have a dinosaur of a computer, but when your stuff runs over an hour its pretty brutal on my system by the time I hit the half way point. This is somewhat true of my friends computers too so I would imagine many of your viewers probably have the same problem.

  • Anonymous

    Heheheh. I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Peter Lorre (from Casablanca) there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kung-Thor/1137680656 Kung Thor

    “…You see her FEET, she’s walking over dead bodies but it’s her. Cause I recognize the FOOTage…” he…he…he

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kung-Thor/1137680656 Kung Thor

    “…You see her FEET, she’s walking over dead bodies but it’s her. Cause I recognize the FOOTage…” he…he…he

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grzegorz-Sasiak/100001217719550 Grzegorz Sasiak

    Never commented on spoonys site before but now i got a good reason.
    If we are talking about the eastern border of the reich and a resistance there it must be polish (hence the camps).
    Its a shame polish resistance doesnt get the recognition it deserves. I was more hardcore than the french one, thats for sure.

  • http://twitter.com/Keilloh 5

    “You only see her feet, but I know it was her. I recognised the footage”

    Heh. Unintentional pun.

  • http://twitter.com/Jegsimmons James Simmons

    “Hey spoony, that movie where a superhero beats up NAZIs is out!”
    “blood rayne 3?”
    “no..uh…captain americ-”
    “UWE BOLL!!!!”

  • ghost sniper

    You’re telling me that Uwe Boll cast a german guy to be Jack Carver in
    FarCry and he cast americans to play nazis? This is almost as bad as
    when he picked Canada as filming location for FarCry

  • ORCACommander

    judging by what you guys have said i would say the 5 second vid would need 4 clips: fucking nazi’s, truck sex, motherfuckers and guttentaag mother fuckers

    • http://twitter.com/Vorsilder Niklas Andersson

      Don’t forget “when I authorize it, WHEN I AUTHORIZE IT!!!”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VASWORJSBO5U3HOCVUEVJZ4XQE draco

    If you haven’t seen Blubberella right after this movie, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

    • Anonymous

      Lol yes I was just thinking that. I haven’t seen Bloodrayne 3 yet but I have seen Blubberella and they sound virtually identical. But with Blubberella being even sillier.
      Probably with certain scenes being used in both movies.

      The covers for the German DVD & Bluray releases are also basically the same. O nly one with Rayne superimposed over the background and the other with Blubberella superimposed over the exact same background.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VASWORJSBO5U3HOCVUEVJZ4XQE draco

        I think Uwe filmed Bloodrayne 3, Blubberella AND Ausschwitz at the same time with the same crew on the same location….

        • Anonymous

          yup he did. In the end credits to Blubberella you see bloopers. In one of them you see a clapperboard and it says Bloodrayne 3 on it :)

        • Anonymous

          yup he did. In the end credits to Blubberella you see bloopers. In one of them you see a clapperboard and it says Bloodrayne 3 on it :)

  • Anonymous

    Just listening to how this movie goes reminds me of my shameful days during puberty when I would sneak up late at night and watch the softcore fake-sex of Cinemax and Showtime…I feel dirty.  All over again. 

    Fucking Puberty.

    Although I do find it amusing that Boll missed his chance to all-out “Porn Parody” his own film with this one.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UKUK723CWLSZ3TMXX3PJNUA2EU Piotr

    The resistance guys might be Polish. That’s the eastern front.

  • DemiPatt

    This is just so weird for me, I found out that this movie came out on DVD in Europe a little more then a month ago. Added it to my Netflix Save list for when it comes out in America. I just got in the mail two days ago and watched it last night. Then I went to sleep, woke up, and now I’m watching Spoony & Miles review it for me. Thank you both!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jnieminen Janne Nieminen

    Your re-enactment of those certain scenes and lines were funny as hell. I know this has been said a lot, but you guys have a really good on-screen chemistry.

  • Anonymous

    God I love Miles. I can’t get enough of the comradery he brings.

    And he’s gotten so much less nervous on camera than he used to be. :B

  • Anonymous

    That’s a bit of an uneven Vlog, Spoony.

    “Uwe Boll’s really become a boring filmmaker… oh, and this film has a LOT of fucking! Tons of fucking! Lots of boobs!”

    I’m sensing mixed messages.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=594209058 Michael Couacaud

    Interesting VLog . But argh my ears When I authorise it! I was wearing earphones and too high levels.

    • Anonymous

      99% of the time I use headphones whenever I use my computer, but this time I just used my speakers because I had just got home from a long walk and didn’t need my earmuff-sized headphones adding to my body heat.

      When it got to that part, I was SO glad I did not have my headphones on, and I still had to rush to turn down the speakers.  It even had that audio-distortion when you speak too loud into a microphone, very loud, but damn did it wake me up and get me laughing!

    • Anonymous

      99% of the time I use headphones whenever I use my computer, but this time I just used my speakers because I had just got home from a long walk and didn’t need my earmuff-sized headphones adding to my body heat.

      When it got to that part, I was SO glad I did not have my headphones on, and I still had to rush to turn down the speakers.  It even had that audio-distortion when you speak too loud into a microphone, very loud, but damn did it wake me up and get me laughing!

  • Anonymous

    There’s actually a new Bloodrayne game coming out. It’s a side-scrolling downloadable game and it actually looks pretty badass, like a cross between Castlevania and Viewtiful Joe.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cole-Kersting/100002371606534 Cole Kersting

    all this movie is, is fucking and Nazis

    • http://UnholyFireDragon.com Unholy Fire Dragon

      And fucking Nazis!

  • http://twitter.com/Okanehira Okanehira

    I have not seen any of the bloodrayne films yet, just don’t interest me but i still loved the vlog.

    One question, how come you didnt mention uwe boll’s Rampage? I remember a vlog where you guys said you liked that one and i kind of did too, it was a pretty good film (aside from the ending) especially for the boll.

    • http://www.facebook.com/rpinkleton Robbie Pinkleton

      Ummm they did. They brought up rampage every time they brought up the leader of the resistance.

  • Anonymous

    Best unintentional pun. You knew it was kristina Lokken’s FEET, because you “…recognized the FOOTage.” 

    Great Vlog, allways love yours and your brothers take on the film.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      How in the hell do you remember what someone looks like by their feet. Unless she’s got some kind of tattoo there, I can’t see how you could identify someone by their foot.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AW3VX7HGVPJFFLYOQGRTPWDVFQ Joseph

    Here’s something frightening that I’ve noticed about Uwe Boll: not only is he improving on his movie making skills, (going from shit to polished shit), he’s also improving on his video game to movie adaptations to a more faithful translation better than Hollywood, (again shit to shiny shit). Think about it, early Uwe Boll video game movies said “fuck off” to the game’s main plot and characters; but later Uwe Boll films, like “Postal” and “Bloodrayne: the Third Reich”, actually focus, (if only briefly), on the game’s themes. [Remember: "Postal" was about a guy who wrecks havoc after losing his job, and "Bloodrayne" was about a bi-curious vampire woman who grinds lesbians and kills Nazis.]

    Now think about how Hollywood has treated the same genre. Think about Paul W.S. Anderson, and how he worked on “Resident Evil” series, or as I like to call them, “My Love Letters to Milla Jovovich.” Or you can ponder how he went from making something that was somewhat true to the game “Mortal Kombat,” to the “Fuck the Game I like High Somersault Jumps and Special Effects, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.” How about the fact that there is no “Street Fighter” movie that has anything to do with street fights, or tournaments? (You know, the stuff that the “Street Fighter” games revolve around?) Probably the most horrible line of thinking you can have is the fact that the original director of the “Wing Commander” games, Chris Roberts, was the one who helped create the abomination that is the “Wing Commander” movie. (Oh, wait! That movie that had the teeny-bop cast and poor costume design compared to video game’s iconic actors and cool designs, was perfectly a-okay to the game’s creator.)

    This scares me because if this keeps happening the only hope of getting a good game-movie might be to turn to a psychotic German who thinks actors are toys and people are ignorantly stupid for not liking his crappy films.

  • http://twitter.com/megarobbie7 robbie decourcey

    im trying to write a movie and this asswhole uwe boll puts out shit

    • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

      To be fair, you’re probably trying to write a “good” movie.

  • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

    Miles, is really growing as a Vlogger. He went from being kind of quiet to really being able to express his views. I would watch a Miles Vlog, maybe he could even do some on patrol. He could have the music from COPS and wear mirror shades!

    Speaking of policing, if Uwe ever comes to Mesa, maybe Miles could arrest him for “Crimes against Cinema”. I am sure there must be a statute that exists somewhere in the Arizona penal code. Or is it against Mile’s Prime Directive?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Noah does kind of overpower him though. Maybe he SHOULD get his own Vlog, just to see his own, unaltered persona.

      • Anonymous

        NOOOOO. That would be like Brak getting his own spinoff.

        And that didn’t happen. NOPE. Never happened.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1813118664 Reza Stephen Lustig

      Miles is a cop? Did I miss something?!

      • http://www.youtube.com/thefaustianman Faust

        Yep. Officer Miles. ;)

  • http://twitter.com/FallenJackal Joey Ogg

    Hey Spoony. Can you watch FARCRY and give a vlog-review of that. That movie was a train wreck

  • http://UnholyFireDragon.com Unholy Fire Dragon

    “Gone from making entertaining schlock to boring shit.”
    So, just like Jim Carey, except directing instead of acting?

    I laughed when you showed me the back of the movie case by the way.

    When you’re talking about the Nazi acting, from what it sound like, I’m guessing people in the Autism spectrum could do a better job acting like Nazis being shot at and killed than they did. LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cassave-Cleynghelt/100001308454801 Cassave Cleynghelt

    The closest thing to Bloodrayne I’ve ever played was Nocturne…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Petey0707 Kris Ecuador

    Oh god, just the name gives me shivers..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grace-Soriano/100001403347828 Grace Soriano

    Peter Lorre DOES have a German/Austrian accent

    • Anonymous

      Peter Lorre has a Peter Lorre accent. I have spent my life in search of the mystical underground city of Lorre.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grace-Soriano/100001403347828 Grace Soriano

    Peter Lorre DOES have a German/Austrian accent

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gabriela-Mizerija/100000750048199 Gabriela Mizerija

    I have seen BR 1 and 2 and I don’t even know if I should watch this one. I fucking LOVE BR games, especially the 2nd one and while I admit that the game is not one of the best ones I still feel insulted by the movies, especially by the 2nd one (really? Wild West?). I am disappoint *goes to play the 2nd game again*
    edit -
    why should Rayne have an accent? I’m not familiar with the comics but in the games she spoke in normal english

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    Wait, so Uve Boll is turning into an almost god-awful pornographer? Shouldn’t Brad be reviewing this?

    • http://UnholyFireDragon.com Unholy Fire Dragon

      An Uwe Boll movie and video-game crossover, introducing The Spoony One, The Cinema Snob and Benzaie! ;-)

    • http://UnholyFireDragon.com Unholy Fire Dragon

      An Uwe Boll movie and video-game crossover, introducing The Spoony One, The Cinema Snob and Benzaie! ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/Proof_Reader Justin Doyon

    Wow, Miles’ Uwe Boll impersonation is a perfect Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.

  • http://twitter.com/Proof_Reader Justin Doyon

    Wow. Miles’ Uwe Boll impersonation is a perfect Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.

  • Anonymous

    You want to see vampire Hitler? Try Operation: Darkness on the 360. Oh, it’s not a good game by any means. But I will promise you that the climax involves British SAS Werewolves, Frankenstien’s Monster, a Pyrokinetic, among others, all teaming up to fight Necromancer Hitler and the SS Vampir, who are summoning Nazi dragons. It rocks.

  • Anonymous

    You want to see vampire Hitler? Try Operation: Darkness on the 360. Oh, it’s not a good game by any means. But I will promise you that the climax involves British SAS Werewolves, Frankenstien’s Monster, a Pyrokinetic, among others, all teaming up to fight Necromancer Hitler and the SS Vampir, who are summoning Nazi dragons. It rocks.

  • Anonymous

    You know guys, first game actually have a story. It wasn’t great story  by any stretch of imagination, but it was strory nodeless. It was about Rayne working for secret society, trying to stop Nazist from finding body parts of ancient demon Beliar. It was classic hack and slash game,  butit wasn’t bad, and there wasn’t any sex scenes in the game

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andreas-Vieru/523819819 Andreas Vieru

    Fucking nazis…

  • http://www.facebook.com/phoelscher1 Patrick Hoelscher

    stoic is a great film. seriously, spoony watch it urself! its got plenty of atmosphere and some solid acting.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Yasin-Bacour/100001293978981 Yasin Bacour

    You know what I would like. A crossover with Captain America.

    How awesome would that be? Captain America fighting Vampire Hitler.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kei.loerop Kei Æ Loerop

    YES PONTYPOOL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kei.loerop Kei Æ Loerop

    YES PONTYPOOL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

    Half-agree about Pontypool maybe being more interesting as a radio play…but it was still awesome. Honestly I’m amazing someone besides me has even heard of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Melat/1331583316 Jesse Melat

    Half-agree about Pontypool maybe being more interesting as a radio play…but it was still awesome. Honestly I’m amazing someone besides me has even heard of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lenne-Shuyin/100002432893015 Lenne Shuyin

    Damn miles wanna get married?   LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    Goofy Laughing Nazi Vampires. Only in an Uwe Boll movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Vaillancourt/507894169 Jesse Vaillancourt

    Fifty Fifth!!!!!     sorry  I wanted to be the annoying guy that says first all the time :S but I was late…  tougher job than it seems to be!

  • http://www.silverdire.com Mark Austin

    In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale…I fell asleep after struggling to watch it for what felt like eternity. It’s so forgettable I can’t tell you one scene I can remember… All I have are vague recollections of backdrops with people running every now and then.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

      Some guy named farmer who is like a warrior, but named farmer. Or something…All I remember is Jason Statham…

      • Anonymous

        Farmer? I prefer to call him “Turkish” from the movie “Snatch”

  • http://www.awesomesaucegames.me/ Shaolin Dave

    love your reviews, but i have to be honest, you’re vlogs are way overdone.  this one is over an hour long! i might as well watch the movie instead!

    • http://twitter.com/JordS68 Jordan Stone

      then don’t watch them XD its a matter of opinion, i pretty much always watch his hour long vlogs. its fun to watch him ramble on for an hour.

      • Mike Terrance

        Agreed. If you don’t like it then don’t watch it.  I enjoy the vlogs because they’re entertaining and they don’t require your undivided attention so I can do boring tasks like practicing my guitar scales or writing reports while watching them and they help keep me from going nuts :D

    • Anonymous

      The only problem I get with his long Vlogs is that they chew up the gigs on my monthly internet levels….A single 40 minute vid will take away 1 gig of ram and I only have 12 gigs a month.

  • http://www.silverdire.com Mark Austin

    Peter Lorre would be proud… Ever seen him in the Maltese Falcon?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4LM23I53VCE4KUVGC4GI6XYCVU toms

    I recommend that Spoony watch the video game movie Red Faction: Origins next which was made by the SyFy (or si-fi channel) which, according to my friends who saw it, is not only GOOD, but true to the game. A good video game movie…….on the SyFy channel of all places. This mystifies me

  • Anonymous

    Spoony and Linkara put the zap in Loken’s head and she must have said “screw this”.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony and Linkara put the zap in Loken’s head and she must have said “screw this”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-Mireles/100002180743543 Zach Mireles

    Noah, your reviews will proceed when I authorize it. WHEN *I* AUTHORIZE IT!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-Mireles/100002180743543 Zach Mireles

    Noah, your reviews will proceed when I authorize it. WHEN *I* AUTHORIZE IT!

  • http://twitter.com/Kanta_Mizuno Ryan Alarie

    Clint Howard IS Peter Lorre AS Nazi Dr. Insano

    • Anonymous

      Dr. Nazinsano?

  • Anonymous

    Oh, the missed oppertunity:  “I’m trying to figure out these vampires WITH SCIENCE YOU FOOLS!”

  • Anonymous

    “Fucking Nazis, How Do They Work?”

  • Anonymous

    I watched Pontypool on your recommendation back when you first mentioned it.  I thought it was quite good; very chilling.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony’s evaluation:  Average Uwe Boll flick.  Needs more tits.

    Miles’ evaluation:  “Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS” this isn’t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Yasin-Bacour/100001293978981 Yasin Bacour

    The Spoony One: In fact they reused footage of Kristinna Loken. You see her feet, she is walking over dead bodies.

    The Psychiatrist: That is a very interesting talent you have there Mr Antwiler. Tell me how long have you been able to identify women based solely on their feet?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UKUK723CWLSZ3TMXX3PJNUA2EU Piotr

    I think that the eastern front opposition forces were supposed to be polish. Just a thought – haven’t seen it so I can’t say. Maybe what you thought to be transilvanian was actually a failed polish accent. 

  • Anonymous

    Wow! Ya’ll’ve convinced me to go out and find and watch a Boll movie! I’m sure the reason though they didn’t ge to film more porn stuff for this film was that Boll was trying to film 3 movies at once! He filmed his Auwitz(sorry bad speller) movie, this movie, and Bubberella movie all at the same time because it was convenete.  He had some period clothing, the sets, and a bunch of extras why the hell not!
    You do know you gotta revew Bubberella now!?

  • http://twitter.com/SolidGoldCEO SolidGoldCEO

    Whatever came up to stop Loken from being in this it wasn’t a movie. 

    There is a new Bloodrayne game but it actually looks like a half decent Castlevania clone

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G_-AsaxujI

  • http://tokyoboyxxx.tumblr.com TOKYO boy

    wow… angry video game nerd has gotten so lame since I last saw him

  • Mike Terrance

    Miles is fuckin cool man, he should be in more videos!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YPHOREYUQFBLDBZ55JHJ2CVBXQ Drain Blut

    ANOTHER Bloodrayne? Fuk. Both games were shit. Both movies were shit. Why do you continue that???? Especially when you give it to the SAME GUY responsible for pissing over the previous 2 movies and COUNTLESS another game to movie tie ins…  Just like movie industries piss all over our games, this guy pisses all over the movies based on games. Why are ppl still giving him work?!

  • Mauricio Alfonso

    Is it my internet connection or is this video taking a long time to load?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Noah, Miles, we love you guys, but the only thing worse than sitting through a movie that drones on and on is watching two guys droning on and on about it. And you guys don’t have action scenes or tits, so… *Shrug*

    You didn’t say or do anything that I disagree with or found annoying, it’s just that it took you over an hour to say it, is all.

    • Anonymous

      i just posted a constructive rant about this. LOL. kudos.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

    Watched it last night, the lesbian scene was the only good thing about this movie and even that was badly edited and cut short.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4LM23I53VCE4KUVGC4GI6XYCVU toms

    OH HAYY.
    What are you doing here Cinema Snob?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Revenile Jason Speaks

    Noah, I know you won’t probably read this, but Pontypool DOES have a radio drama adaption.  It’s literally the film minus the writing scene and the scene outside the credits, and they actually used the recording equipment shown in the movie in the booth at the same time the movie was shooting, to record the audio drama.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    For the love of god, I hope ConBravo is the last event you do this year. PAX and E3 are eating into your schedule, and you’ll end up in the ER if you keep stressing your heart.

    I would much rather see you relaxing at home, bitching about an old movie or game than seeing you on the edge of fainting at some convention.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve gotten to a point where i have to watch all of your videos in multiple parts due to their incredible length. You are simultaneously my favorite internet personality to follow and also the one who demands the most of my time. I’m not saying change for me, but everyone would be able to watch more, including new comers, if the vids were shorter (or in parts). It’s a lot for new-comers and some old fans to commit to an hour or longer video when they have other stuff to do in their lives… but also want to watch and support you.

    I fear some may take one look at the length and skip your video, though the “fan-fans” are going to watch whatever you post even if it is 2 hours long. Do what you want of course; but even 45 minutes is a lot on the internet from the standpoint of this question: “what is the average time of a youtube rant or review video? And what is the average time of most vids from people you admire or follow?”

    Your niche audience doesn’t mind the time, but the majority have shorter attention spans. You can chose to bend for them or adhere to your own path. It’s all up to you and it’s your site afterall. This constructive criticism is meant, first and foremost, to get you more fans and have more people watch a video because it can actually fit into their day. I have friends who i try to get involved with the “Spoony Experiment” but don’t because they refer to you as “the dude with the way too long videos” that Matt watches. You CAN have more views and comments and followers, not that you need that. I’m glad you’re doing well and making some profit for your work. I love it. It’s from a place of love I recommend these modest changes. Just try to stay on track with prepared main points before you hit “record.” 30 minutes seems to be a good minimum time for a “Spoony” video.

    Good luck with everything. I will always follow you and always post my opinion for you to contemplate and for others to make fun of anonymously.

    spoony, content = excellent, time management = Could be as good as the content.

    Matt

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

      It’s just and unscripted a v-log dude, he can put them at whatever length he wants, not like it’s an episode of the Spoony Experiment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      That’s why I don’t like these Vlogs. They are largely unscripted, informal conversations that could be shortened to about 30 entertaining minutes with a little work.

      Spoony could easily review his own Vlogs for material, make a script, use his DVR to get all the movie clips he needs, then sit in front of his camera to read his lines. If he doesn’t do anything too complicated, that should take about 5-6 hours.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jnieminen Janne Nieminen

        But that’s the whole point of a VLog. Just put the camera rolling and talk about your thoughts on something, unscripted, without huge planning ahead. Every other review in this site works just like you describe it.

        I always enjoy these VLogs – they are perfect to put going when I’m cooking, for example. It might be nice to have an hour-long one cut into two parts, maybe. But as for the general idea of Spoony VLogs, I like it a lot.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      That’s why I don’t like these Vlogs. They are largely unscripted, informal conversations that could be shortened to about 30 entertaining minutes with a little work.

      Spoony could easily review his own Vlogs for material, make a script, use his DVR to get all the movie clips he needs, then sit in front of his camera to read his lines. If he doesn’t do anything too complicated, that should take about 5-6 hours.

    • http://twitter.com/delvecomic Mathias

      I actually like these vlogs- I can agree that at the length they are, they probably aren’t for everyone? But I personally listen to/watch these videos a lot while doing other work.. so for me they’re more like a podcast, something to help pass the time and get a lot of info! If they were shorter, they’d actually take up more of my time, futzing with finding another episode, loading another page, etc. So I actually love that they’re this length! Not trying to argue, but I think that there’s something out there for everyone! So I actually tend to watch spoony’s videos over any other review/commentary/etc personality, because of their length!

      Just my 2 cents!

    • Anonymous

      I actually like these long reviews/vlogs. It gives you plenty of time to do other stuff while listening. That’s one thing that really irritates me about the older Snob stuff is that every seven to ten minutes I have to stop what I’m doing and open a new review. With these vlogs I’m good for a while.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t see how anyone can find vampires having sex with mortals arousing?

    They’re basically dead bodies animated by some ‘curse’ and wont decompose….So basically if you screw a hot vampire chick, even if she responds and so on…technically, you’re still having sex with a dead body.

    Oh, and just wait until “Breaking Dawn” comes out…..I wonder how they’ll handle the birthing scene?

    • Anonymous

      Nothing wrong with necrophilia, so long as it’s consensual. Stop being a prude!

  • http://twitter.com/AJRimmer5 AJRimmer

    I guess I’m going to have to finally break and watch an Uwe Boll movie. I avoid them cause I fear they’re to similar to Mortal Kombat 2 and I can’t deal with the frustration, but if I survived Highlander: The Source, I think Uwe Boll will be a walk in the park.

    I simply have to see movies directed by a guy, who as he improves at his craft, actually produces worse films.  It’s inconceivable.

    Just so I can beat someone to the punch, I quote the great Inigo Montoya: “This word you keep using, I do not think it means what you think it means”.

  • Anonymous

    It sounds like this is Uwe Boll’s attempt to make a Nazisploitation movie. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

    Hey Spoony! Guess whose planning to go to PAX 2011! Ben ‘Yatzee’ Croshaw of ‘Zero Punctuation’ fame!

    If you do end up going to PAX (at the risk of your own health), I hope you get to meet each other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1647096027 Ryan Patton

    I hate you Spoony I really do. I haven’t even watched the video yet, but Miles’s face tells the whole story. He’s saying yes, its not just a rumor; yes it will make me cry. I’ve only played the first Bloodrayne game and I loved it, if I ever just want to kill some Nazis that’s what I pick up. So my love for the game made me curious and I tracked down the movie and after the sex scene I turned that puppy off and never looked back. I’ve heard the second movie was just as bad and I’ve also heard Boll didn’t work on this one, but I’m full of some much dread I’m numb. Time to suck it up and see how much its sucks; Noah, Miles tell it to me straight.

  • http://twitter.com/Vanvidum Vanvidum Strype

    You aren’t a pig Spoony, you’re just telling it like it is. But this only kindles my desire for an Uwe Boll review marathon with the Spoony One and the Snob… If they can handle such a thing. No one could say they were cowards for shunning such a terrible challenge as the Boll in large doses.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grzegorz-Wojtczyk/100000046280578 Grzegorz Wojtczyk

    How about you make a review of the Bloodrayne games or at least a Vlog about them ? Show people that they are much, much better then the movies but they are not masterpieces either especially Bloodrayne 2. People think that the games are as bad as the movies. I’m so tried of that. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grzegorz-Wojtczyk/100000046280578 Grzegorz Wojtczyk

    How about you make a review of the Bloodrayne games or at least a Vlog about them ? Show people that they are much, much better then the movies but they are not masterpieces either especially Bloodrayne 2. People think that the games are as bad as the movies. I’m so tried of that. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F6DCTUY6RUMWXJKGOICRNIAXCM André Norell

    First: cool review, Noah and Miles :)

    Second: have you seen the trailer for the prequel to Joh Carpenter’s “The Thing”?

  • http://twitter.com/dakkster Thomas Johansson

    http://www.forvo.com/word/goebbels/

    That’s how you pronounce Goebbels. Not Gurbles like you guys do.

  • http://twitter.com/dakkster Thomas Johansson

    http://www.forvo.com/word/goebbels/

    That’s how you pronounce Goebbels. Not Gurbles like you guys do.

  • Anonymous

    I love these moments. This is one of the best examples of one of the biggest reasons I follow your stuff. Honesty. I can look at the way you look after your brother points out something and see that you are being honest about your opinion and at the very least trying to be objective with it. 

  • Anonymous

    I love these moments. This is one of the best examples of one of the biggest reasons I follow your stuff. Honesty. I can look at the way you look after your brother points out something and see that you are being honest about your opinion and at the very least trying to be objective with it. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/tcurns Markus Hurdiss

    Just watched this before your Vlog guys, both HILARIOUS & BAD! On the accents, i agree most of the actors just seemed not to be trying at all, and i think the few who did try ended up with a weird Tommy Wiseauish twang!

    Pissed myself with laughter at the hitler dream sequence! XD 

  • http://twitter.com/DefectiveType40 Dylan Roy

    Now, now. I think it’d be hard for Rayne to have sex with all those people if she were a briefcase. The movie would have been seriously altered.

    I think more of Shakespeare’s plays would be universally loved if he’d ended every soliloquy with ”Fucking Nazis.”

    “HE PUNCHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OUT OF HER HAIR!”

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

      You have implied that Uwe Boll is on par with Shakespeare. A team has been dispatched to your house to euthanize you and sterilize your immediate family.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ed-Stacey/597275249 Ed Stacey

    yeah!! get your sinuses tested for a deviated septum you cock head!!! If you get it fixed you will no longer have migraines.  I told you this b4 but u don’t listen

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Natalie-Jones/100001438912549 Natalie Jones

      What if he’s already been tested for that and that’s not the cause of his migraines? Maybe the cause isn’t something that can be helped? Migraines can have multiple causes other then a deviated septum, you know.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Natalie-Jones/100001438912549 Natalie Jones

        Like oh,i don’t know stress.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Natalie-Jones/100001438912549 Natalie Jones

      What if he’s already been tested for that and that’s not the cause of his migraines? Maybe the cause isn’t something that can be helped? Migraines can have multiple causes other then a deviated septum, you know.

    • Anonymous

      A deviated nasal septum does not result in blockage of the paranasal sinuses. Also, sinusitis does not give headaches with photosensitivity and recurrent chronic pattern and onset (i.e. migraines). Sinusitis can cause headaches but not with the kind of clinical presentation that Noah has described having. And usually if blockage or infection is significant enough to cause headaches or tenderness on palpation, then there are other symptoms as well that he has not described. In fact there are multifactorial theories about idiopathic migraines (i.e. migraines without a secondary cause) but most of them are based on interplay of neurological activity within the cerebrum. Nasal septum deviation may give you a blocked nose, though. Or postnasal drip syndrome. There are a couple of different options there.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ed-Stacey/597275249 Ed Stacey

    yeah!! get your sinuses tested for a deviated septum you cock head!!! If you get it fixed you will no longer have migraines.  I told you this b4 but u don’t listen

  • http://www.facebook.com/Jessano Jessica Marie

    Your mispronunciation of “Guten Nacht” makes me rage a bit. It’s “Gute Nacht”, adding the “en” at the end is making you say “good to be naked”. Although the way you two describe it, “Guten Nacht” might be more appropriate.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      But it IS good to be naked…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      But it IS good to be naked…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      But it IS good to be naked…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1813118664 Reza Stephen Lustig

    Heh! Gotta check this movie out some time…
    Oh, and moar FFX-2 review plz!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jakob-Heugenhauser/100001231405910 Jakob Heugenhauser

    Fucking Nazis

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andreas-Tornqvist/605088298 Andreas Törnqvist

    I think your brother is getting better at this. You two make up a good team when you’re not stealing the show, Noah. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andreas-Tornqvist/605088298 Andreas Törnqvist

    I think your brother is getting better at this. You two make up a good team when you’re not stealing the show, Noah. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Gotman/100002561305042 Jake Gotman

    I remember seeing this on tv… I was like… yeah Spoony will probably have a field day with this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Gotman/100002561305042 Jake Gotman

    I remember seeing this on tv… I was like… yeah Spoony will probably have a field day with this.

  • Anonymous

    Watch “Rampage” you want to see a good Uwe movie watch that. It’s fantastic.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jakob-Heugenhauser/100001231405910 Jakob Heugenhauser

      they even uploaded a review of it already.

      • Anonymous

        who did?

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F6DCTUY6RUMWXJKGOICRNIAXCM André Norell

          Noah and Miles. Noah thought it was alright, Miles thought it was “meh”.

          • Anonymous

            Oh, well not surprised really. These guys don’t seem to like anything.

    • Anonymous

      Rampage is less bad than his other movies, but it’s still got a lot of problems. There’s not much of a plot to it. You can cut most of the movie without losing anything of the story. The car chase at the end is not only unnecessary, but also doesn’t really fit with the rest of the movie. The ending makes no sense.

      The only part that I actually liked was how he tricked that guy and made it look like he did it. But you don’t really need 90 minutes to establish that, and at the end it’s pretty clear that the father has a strong case against that kid. All the cops have to do is search this kid’s house. They’ll probably find all kinds of evidence in his room, and a considerable lack of evidence in his friend’s.

      So yeah, I guess it’s great if you want to watch a guy shoot people for an hour. I thought the start of the killing was done pretty well and I thought there were a couple of decent scenes, like the bank scene and the bit in the woods. This probably is Uwe Boll’s best film. But you can literally cut the movie down to a 15 minute running time and not lose a single story beat at all.

  • Anonymous

    I’m almost certain that Uwe Boll is a disciple of Darkseid and his movies are pieces of the Anti-Life Equation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nathan-Ellis/100002419726549 Nathan Ellis

    Need Tekken movie reviews!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Does anyone know when ConBravo ends, and he gets back to posting reviews?

      Because it’s been nine days since Spoony has posted anything.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lenne-Shuyin/100002432893015 Lenne Shuyin

        I hope spoons is okay, let us know how yer doing spoons

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      UPDATE: Now Spoony’s going to Austria. Hopefully we will get a hotel review with NC.

      Although, the Inside Guide to Making A Webshow posted on TGWTG is extremely useful. I already know how to record data from anything with AV cables, and already have some familiarity with movie editing software.

      Maybe I’ll make something on Youtube with my friend.

      • Anonymous

        if you don’t donate you have no right to complain about anything, and even if you do/have I would still argue that a donation is meant to be done out of the kindness of one’s heart, without any strings attached so to speak. I too would like to see a new post from spoony but its his life and he has the right to live it any way he chooses (provided he doesnt choose to be like a serial killer or something). If that means he goes to 50 conventions in a row so be it. he says that he works 10-12 hr days almost non stop for the site and i dont doubt it. Just be patient.  

        • Anonymous

          Actually, he does have the right to complain, just for the record. One always has the right to complain. *shrugs* As for the schedule, all I have to say is that due to a number of issues I no longer visit this site terribly often. I used to check for updates daily in years past because there often were several updates a week (not always a review, but generally something). Now I usually check in once every few weeks (or sometimes only once a month) because updates are so infrequent. That means less ad revenue and lower stats for the site. A schedule that was at least semi-adhered to would make it more likely for me and others like me to check in at those times. I’m not complaining, simply stating facts.

      • Anonymous

        if you don’t donate you have no right to complain about anything, and even if you do/have I would still argue that a donation is meant to be done out of the kindness of one’s heart, without any strings attached so to speak. I too would like to see a new post from spoony but its his life and he has the right to live it any way he chooses (provided he doesnt choose to be like a serial killer or something). If that means he goes to 50 conventions in a row so be it. he says that he works 10-12 hr days almost non stop for the site and i dont doubt it. Just be patient.  

  • http://twitter.com/DoctorSubmarine Josh Rosenfield

    Spoony, you should check out the podcast Down in Front. They do movie commentaries, and their style of criticism and analysis reminds me a lot of yours. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/AlucardsQuest Nicholas Patrick

    Way Forward is actually making a new 2D BloodRayne game, and it looks good! Not that the 3D games were completely horrible but a 2D Bloodrayne coming from the team who made Shantae 1 & 2, Contra 4 and the surprisingly fun Boy and His Blob remake is reason to get excited. And for people who may be like “I’ve never played those games”,  Wayforward took a terrible movie license of Scorpion King and made it into a damn good Gameboy Advance game… that’s like turning shit into gold!

    Unfortunately Uwe Boll is also making a 4th Bloodrayne movie… There are more game movie sequels than there are games… and none of them reference the actual video games!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1563227009 Achim Hanke

    Dear spoony!

    I’m just watching this review. did you hear about blubberella by u.b.?
     http://youtu.be/Mt-DOdPLMLI

    I did not see either of these two, but is he reusing bloodrayne footage???? Is there a conspiracy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1563227009 Achim Hanke

    Dear spoony!

    I’m just watching this review. did you hear about blubberella by u.b.?
     http://youtu.be/Mt-DOdPLMLI

    I did not see either of these two, but is he reusing bloodrayne footage???? Is there a conspiracy?

  • http://twitter.com/Goldengurl25 Sarah

    Spoony, I love your shirt and that quote!

  • Lada Teleki

    …I’m sorry… I really have to comment on this:

    The start of the sentence “You’ll see two Nazis run out of a building…” that just sounds like the start of a joke, doesn’t it? :D   ..the first hing that popped into my head was ’2 Nazis walk into a bar’, what would be the punchline for that..? :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Kilkowski/583400802 Bruce Kilkowski

    So, this summer we’ll be getting a bunch of fighting game movie reviews, and with this vlog, this is like the summer of video game movies. I’d love to hear what you thought of the Silent Hill movie, if only in a brief vlog instead of formal review format.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Kilkowski/583400802 Bruce Kilkowski

    So, this summer we’ll be getting a bunch of fighting game movie reviews, and with this vlog, this is like the summer of video game movies. I’d love to hear what you thought of the Silent Hill movie, if only in a brief vlog instead of formal review format.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Kilkowski/583400802 Bruce Kilkowski

    So, this summer we’ll be getting a bunch of fighting game movie reviews, and with this vlog, this is like the summer of video game movies. I’d love to hear what you thought of the Silent Hill movie, if only in a brief vlog instead of formal review format.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1813118664 Reza Stephen Lustig

    And just for anyone who also didn’t get who Clint Howard was supposedly trying to sound like, the guy’s name was Peter Lorre.

  • http://profiles.google.com/likalaruku Allaiyah Weyn

    I’d have cut ALL of the sex & nudity out; beng a skanky slut disrespectful to the very idea of a female protagonist.

  • http://profiles.google.com/likalaruku Allaiyah Weyn

    “They used her feet. I know it’s her because I recognized the footage.”

    Was that an intentional pun?

  • Semyon Vasylyev

    Oh, Spooney, you’re just picking on Uwe coz he’s german and you’re jewish.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6EVM3F2U7HDWHYC7LO7TETE2KA MichaelT

      I….I can’t tell if you’re really stupid, really racist, or just very bad at being sarcastic.

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