It’s a disorienting blitz of babes, boobs, and brawls in the most nonsensical tournament fighter movie of them all, DOA!
I concur, good sir.
And you’re a tard
The moment I heard film brains voice I skipped ahead about 3 minutes and prayed he wasn’t in the whole video.
Congratulations: You embody the joke itself.
The one you skipped, I mean.
Please….No Film Brain anymore. Compared to Spoony hes just so inferior, both in humor and in recording equipment. Its like watching “A Game of Thrones” and suddenly a cameo of JarJar Binks comes up.
And you’re an asshole. FB and the rest of TGWTG are among Spoony’s friends you know.
He’s not OUR friend, we don’t have to like him or his jokes if we don’t want to.
Okay, so. You’re in someone’s house, right? And then one of that guy’s friends come over. You and some of the other guests start kicking him in the shins. And the host is all “WTF. GUYS. STOP.”
Do you stop?
Right, except this is the internet. And a review. And an opinion.
THINK WITH YOUR DIPSTICK, JIMMY.
Precisely. You took the words right out of my mouth.
See, I’d agree with your assessment of this movie, buuuuut one thing keeps me from being on board. That, of course, being that the women are flat flat flat. Seriously, no jiggle, man, no size! A DOA movie without double D’s is…like, blasphemy!
Still pretty cool that they included Hayabusa in this; they normally don’t get the rights for the in-canon characters from other games. XD
American Spoony, this was awesome!
So next time, we pull out the torches and besiege the Xcom office for you?
Yay more film brain!… Seriously people if you bothered to watch his reviews he’s actually quite talented and his humor translates to US well.
Film Brain cameo?!
Time to cut myself and whine like a little bitch!
Anyone else hoping Spoony does a Ninja Movie Review Marathon after this?
Kane Kosugi played Ryu in the DOA movie. Irony being Ryu Hayabusa was actually based on his dad Sho Kosugi, the man who put the NINJA in the ninja movie. He STARTED the entire movie craze.
The circle is complete. But your dad is still the master, chump.
Awesome review and well worth the wait! Excellent work, Spoony. At least in my opinion. Wooo!
This was a great review Spoony but you forgot one very important thing. You said that, as a Ninja, Ryu Hayabusa should be a master of stealth and infiltration. If the Ninja Gaiden series has taught me anything Ryu Hayabusa is a master of using physical force to achieve his goals as opposed to actually acting like a Ninja. I can see why you would get confused though.
I agree this movie is pretty much exactly what I’d expect, T & A.
c’mon people. film brain is good on his own, no need to bash him.
if you took the effort to watch some of his reviews you might appreciate him. just remember – he is a different reviewer with a different style.
You know… now that you mention it, Spoony… I think I’d really like to see one of these tournament movies where the organizer really DOESN’T have an evil plan. Seriously, he (or she) just wants to have some fun with the crapton of money they have and thought that a martial arts tournament on [insert exotic locale here] would be AWESOME. Maybe sell the footage, but only really to recoupe some of the investment; the whole thing is really just some rich dude being bored and thinking of a kickass way to enjoy their money.
Bonus points if the organizer is completely incompetent at fighting and so uses the tournament as a kind of third-person wish fulfillment.
I don’t know what the lesbian equivalent of a Kenny Logins soundtrack is… maybe something by KD Lang?
How about Katy Perry? She did have that one song about kissing a girl and liking it, after all!
“You know… now that you mention it, Spoony… I think I’d really like
to see one of these tournament movies where the organizer really DOESN’T
have an evil plan. Seriously, he (or she) just wants to have some fun
with the crapton of money they have and thought that a martial arts
tournament on [insert exotic locale here] would be AWESOME. Maybe sell
the footage, but only really to recoupe some of the investment; the
whole thing is really just some rich dude being bored and thinking of a
kickass way to enjoy their money.”
They do have one of those. The Quest.
couldn’t stop laughing at the ass count overload. top notch stuff once again spoony. I feel a little bad for Film Brain now, I usually like him, just didn’t like him at all in the crossover. Didn’t know everyone else felt the same way though :O
Finally, someone who knows how to sum up my feelings XD I couldn’t figure it out myself!
The only way this review would be funnier is if you did it as Doctor Insano, and have Linkara bound to a chair and forced to watch this film.
Yes, this is the best of the movies you ave reviewed this month. The others took themselves too seriously. It’s a movie about a fucking console fighter, it’s supposed to be a joke.
Of course the villain’s plan made no sense. Why kidnap people. He injected them by nanites, he could just ask them to return the nanites after the tournament. But, I guess Eric Roberts can’t resist the urge to do the evulz. Also, who would care about mafiosos buying technology making them good at martial arts? That won’t help them against guns. And speaking of guns, why does Eric Roberts have ninja guards when he clearly could afford real guards armed with fucking guns.
And then Hayabusa. Why did they made him a wimp. This is my biggest complain. They made the hero of Ninja Gaiden a wimp.
But all in all, this movie never took itself seriously, and that’s why it work much better than Tekken and KoF.
Yes, I was also disturbed by the Film Brain hate on this site.
Never knew there was hate for filmbrain, too bad I think he`s really funny. I like the new hair cut.
the ass count was brilliant in so many ways…
Hail the Spoony one! Hail Filmbrain! Hail bandit-Keith! Cast ye butthurt mouthbreathing not-giving-any-constructive-criticism fanboys into everlasting fire!
I thought the Filmbrain gags were nice jabs at the rabid foam-in-the-mouth fanbase this website has. (I know not everyone on this site’s an a-hole, so put down your weapons)
Well done Spoonster!
R.I.P. Ass Count :(
Sppony complained about Ryu being a ninja that doesn’t use stealth… Really? ANY Ninja Gaiden Fan can tell you… seeing Ryu is a Death Sentence… he leaves NO witnesses thus his stealth is maintained. XD
film brain is awesome.
Haha, jokes on bandit Keith, American woman is a Canadian song!
That’s okay, Bandit Keith is Canadian too XD
Anyway it’s pretty sad that the DOA movie is the most faithful adaptation of a fighting game.
“Was there ever a guy running a tournament who wasn’t trying to take over the world?”
The Eternal Champion! Other than that … I don’t know.
Also, I’d love for a follow-up analysis of fighting movies where Spoony establishes how a GOOD videogame conversion could be made. He’s pointed out several great points, but why not put them all together and make a legitimate proposal for Hollywood?
Why would we wanna stop a Spoony/Film Brain crossover?! I love Film Brain! When I found out he was gonna be in this review I was overjoyed!
Couldn’t agree more, and this review used Film Brain really well. It was a good cameo appearance the worked. I say more cross-overs are welcome. I personally think Cinema Snob is the best match for Spoony for cross-overs but I like Film Brain and his sarcastic over-acting is so delightfully hammy. It works in the same the same way Kryton in Red Dwarf works. Still, I would like to see more of Spoony’s old-school style, we haven’t seen much classic old game critique, think FMV hell and Final Fantasy VIII. I kinda want to see that cynicism and scathing critique more.
ahh I have been waiting for this one for quite a while and wow was this movie terrible, while it is true that the DOA series doesn’t have the most complex story it is still there well somewhat I mean most of the story is revenge based and something to do with Super Soldier creation. Again this was one hell of a review and thx again for signing my copy of DOA Dimensions at ConBravo can’t wait to see whats next
Guess who needs to watch a real movie for a real human beings called “Drive”?! YOU, Spoony, you do.
Why is this series called “Dead or Alive” anyways? AFAIK, NOBODY EVER DIES. And this is not like in Mortal Kombat were people get maimed and just pop up for the next fight. It’s just a normal fighting tournament.
Team Ninja – revolutionizing breast physics since 1996
(Although I think it got slightly Uncanny Valley when they decided to let each breast jiggle independently – sometimes in opposite directions)
What Ninja clan stands around in light samurai armor holding ginormous purple flags all day?
And if your great escape scene would make classic James Bond shake his head in disbelief, you’re doing something wrong.
(Plus, I don’t think the Japanese build that massive – especially if no one can possibly reach it anyways)
When it comes to inviting people in tournaments, giant shuriken are about as silly as magic earpieces that transport you into another dimension.
I’m not surprised about the eye shadows (in movies, every woman has perma-make-up). I’m surprised they remembered to NOT dry and style her hair.
Why watches? Don’t they announce the fights, anyways?
And it doesn’t matter if Hayana catched him. He was kicked through concrete and slammed against solid wood. I don’t think there’s much left of his spine.
Wait. Did he ran this tournament for years and only now decided to test out his sunglasses, or did he came up with this plan just a few months before? And what’s the deal with the sunglasses? Using them will brand you as a rich poser, they are probably not allowed in any kind of tournament, and if you just want to kick other peoples asses, you’ll probably get either lead in the head or a taser to the balls.
Oh, and being able to predict moves is one thing. Having the physical strength, dexterity and stamina to avoid the moves is a whole different story.
If only all video game adaptations were so hard to fuck up. But playing the games would probably blow then.
The reason why the series is called Dead or Alive is the same reason Squaresoft called Final Fantasy Final Fantasy Tecmo was in serious financial trouble and decided to gamble everything on DOA to get them out of the red and well it worked
The irony here, however, is that…
DOA had two choices: being dead or alive
FF had one choice: being the final (i.e. ending) fantasy
DOA’s title would’ve worked whether it failed or not, but apparently FF’s title earned an epic fail by being a never-ending story! LOL
I wouldn’t call it “never-ending story”, since the individual games have nothing to do with each other. The epic fail comes from Square-Enix’ laziness and willingness to milk the franchise for everything it’s worth.
Too bad Capcom already made a game called “Final Fight” years before DOA XD
As a fan of the 2nd and 4rth games though, the biggest character trait shamelessly overlooked was an entire backstory with Helena being an opera singer who was out for revenge for the assassination of her opera singer mother by the British hottie Christie (who was supposed to have chalk white hair but I might be asking too much). Oh yeah, the biggest thing I found missing from the movie WAS JANN LEE the Bruce Lee imitator who was perfectly skilled in Jeet Kun Do (who could have been featured more prominantly for an awesome fight scene. Every individual character in the games had a particular storyline that would have made for a movie franchise or tv show with at least 25 or 30 stories worth of sequels or episodes. What made this movie good overall, was the bright and colorful feel of the production designs and costumes, the inclusion of almost all the characters except for 2 new ones from DOA4, well choreographed fight scenes, the obligatory fan service };-), and how they did service to the master cheating mother-fucker A.I. character at the end of the story-modes of the game by having Donovan do that sort of thing.
the Arse count had me in stitches!!!
Wait, the crazy ASSHOLE fans get access to a personal Stock Footage Army & Mob??
…well what the Hell do *I* get?! Man, this is what I get for actually sticking up for Film Brain! I knew I should have been a jerk. Well, can I at least get the Stock Footage of the old ladies applauding for being one of the more friendly fans?
Okay, all that silliness aside, this was a fun as Hell video that gave me a much-needed laugh! The Ass-count overload especially got me going! Though personally I can’t stand these stringy bimbos, but then again, I’m a Mortal Kombat fan, so I guess I’m a bit biased toward women with a bit of meat on them bones.
“Dude I tried to warn you, my fans, they are insane !!”. Yes, yes we are. But as a matter of fact I happen to like Film Brain.
BULLSHIT. I CALL BULLSHIT.
Not for lack of trying, mind you. You’re a Tekken guy, I get it, you’re not really going to give a crap about the DOA movie’s plot. But for the record? THIS MOVIE BLEW. And I’m not talking quality, hell, it was fine even if you take the painful hand switches and so forth. What I’m talking about is how utterly bad the plot is.
Oh? What is this, you say? It DOESN’T have a plot beyond boobs? To that I say NAY, good sir!
Look, I know as well as anyone the Extreme Beach Volleyball games were as blatent as you can get with fanservice. And I know they hurt the games themselves. But I ALSO know that when you’re talking Dead Or Alive, the only thing fans of the FIGHTING game are going to care about are the FUCKING FIGHTING GAMES. These guys shoulda just made porn, given how much they were into the ass shots.
All I’m saying is, between the characters not appearing anywhere near their game equivalents and the plot basically throwing out the window any semblance of the original, this is hardly a DOA movie at all. It’s just a fighting tournament movie. A high quality fighting movie, but nothing like the damn games.
And that’s not to say you couldn’t find SOME plot in here, insane as it may be. Look, for a digestible version? The latest one, Dimensions on the 3DS, is by FAR the most tame in fanservice, actually has a good fighting system, and basically condenses the plot of all four console and arcade games into one. Is it a mess? Yeah, but Ryu BEATS THREE COPTERS WITH A FUCKING SWORD, while Hayate shoots down a zepplin WITH A FUCKING BOW AND ARROW. If nothing else? This could have been a great spectacle to watch, while still keeping true to the plot of the games. Which it DID have.
Yeah, this is a little nerd-ragey, I’ll admit. But I refuse to let this be called a DOA movie simply because it’s fanservicey. You could change some names in Kill Bill and call THAT a DOA movie if this gets passed. I mean hell, any of the movies reviewed here pass as Fighting Game movies by that logic. They had fighting. Woohoo. Besides, I would’ve payed a LOT more good money just to see Alpha-152 in the movie.
In short? T&A does not equal DOA. End of statement.
As much as I love your work, Spoony, you should really play Dead or Alive Dimensions on the 3DS. It’s actually got a really good story mode that lays out exactly what all has gone on for the DOA series. It’s got just about as much plot, if not more than any other game but the last MK game.
you know what this is a great thing to watch after going though epic pain(ive just had angel wing tattos on my back) if i see any hate comments about Film Brain i’ll explode nice one as always Spoony jeez its been a while keep it up pffft niga princess im the Essex niga
hell yea that was a fun game
Two things: First of all, I did already see this movie. Quite a Rarity considering I hardly watch anything anymore and I don’t think I’d watch something like that normally in the first place.
Second thing: Oh God the dreams are still happening! I swear half the dreams I’ve been having are of Spoony staring blankly at me like I pissed him off, and Doug standing next to me trying to explain to me that it’s just some mental thing stuck in my head.
You know Spoony, you’re right. This truly was the best video game adaptation ever…now let us never speak of it again.
Great review, and a nice disarming of some of your more…..dedicated fans.
filmbrain is too much of a pessimist, AND HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE A PESSIMIST EITHER!!!!!
Ha! I knew that Brit Seeking Missile would come in handy! I better order another one (I think Guru Larry might need a little “inspiration” in order to hurry up and make his next PSA video).
Here’s my question: wasn’t the whole “gather fighter’s data/DNA” plot supposed to center around creating a bioweapon (Alpha 152) in the game series? Wouldn’t she have been a better choice for a final opponent for the movie?
Come on, it’s the T-1000 vs. Charlie’s Angels! That’s gold, man.
Bring forth the artillery!
Ashamed to say but i have seen this
yeah you are right, they pretty much nailed that one :P we expected tits and asses and we got tits and asses.
im sorry though spoony, i didnt listen to you a lot this time… for obvious reasons.
Yay for Film Brain! :D
I laughed long and hard when the ass count meter went off the charts.
While we’re on the subject….WHERE THE HELL WAS RYU’S SWORD?
You know, his signature weapon forged from the tooth of a dragon god which allows him to cut through anything? The sword that he must carry with him at all times?
Why didn’t he bring it out?
BOOBS!!! Sadly, don’t even try to bring up the plot of the games, because even though it’s there and the lady’s do have excellent martial arts training and decent background stories (as well as the guys): BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBSSSSSSS!!!
Hey, to be fair to Ryu, for getting his ass handed to him in this movie: it was in Master Ninja mode! Even the elite ninja struggles to get past the first level of the games, let alone survive a crappy video game movie!
I really enjoyed this review, Spoony.
I thought you were going to say that this movie was some kind of a cinematic abomination of a video game adaptation (like King Of Fighters) but just like you stated in the end, it’s actually pretty accurate to the games in terms of tone and what they feature. I’d say it’s one of the best movies based on a video game. However, it is obvious that the movie was heavily butchered by the producers since as you pointed out the movie seemingly jumps around at points (the very short running time is also a sign).
Although there was a thing here and there I can pick at from your review, my biggest gripe is that you didn’t give the action scenes as much credit. You did mention how well made Christie’s introductory action scene is but you just passed by the others and didn’t mention how well made they were. Even though I did laugh at the joke you made during Hayabusa’s infiltration, you failed to call attention to just how great that action scene was. Same with Helena’s sword fight with the guards which was also fantastic.
Even though the movie was clearly butchered I’m glad that at least they didn’t butcher Corey Yuen’s (the director and action choreographer of the movie) action scenes with the editing in this movie like they do on most of the movies he’s done the action choreography for in Hollywood where they destroy his work via bad editing (e.g. Transporter 3, The Expendables). He is one of the best action film makers in the world. There is a reason why he is Jet Li’s favorite action film maker to work with.
Again, good job on the review and the cameos were great!
Wow, I never knew Film Brain lived in the Bastille.
But seriously, great cameo, and great review.
Alright. Gotta respect Filmbrain now for being able to make fun of himself. Hell, I’m in a wheelchair and call myself a dirty cripple all the time. Good times. Makes the waitresses really nervous when you ask for a table for 2 1/2.
I once saw someone in a wheelchair who liked to just screw with people and randomly go “TIMMY!” in public while his wheelchair was being pushed/driven. He didn’t have any mental defects or anything; he knew exactly what he was doing. It was so funny at the time. LOL
Next time you’re in a public place (like perhaps a church or a grocery store or something), do just that. ;-)
I haven’t done that one. But I have gone into a mall and screamed “OH MY GOD I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS! Oh wait, nope that’s normal.”
This is literally the ideal “Dude Movie”. All you need is this movie, a couple of friends, and some beer/tequila/scotch/weed for a perfect weekend night.
Great Review! Keep up the Awesomeness.
Seriously, why is it so hard to adapt a tournament fighter game? Here’s a clue: Watch Bloodsport with Jean-Claude Van Damme and COPY THAT. Make the hero a rookie who’s entering his/her first tourney with a healthy respect for the traditions and ideals that embody the marshal arts. Make the villain the reigning champion who has forsaken those same values and fights for some other reason like money or crowd adoration or something. Then give the hero a “westerner” sidekick/buddy who’s a happy medium between the hero and villain’s worldview: in it just because he loves a good fight. Mix in the other characters and just watch them all beat the shit out of each other for 90 – 120 minutes straight. THIS IS A NOT HARD MOVIE TO MAKE!
I think you should watch the review first. Spoony says at the end that he thinks this movie is “just about perfect” and that it was an accurate adaptation of the games.
DOA the movie really is one of the best movies based on the video game. And the action scenes are top notch.
I did watch the review. I’m just saying for tournament fighter movies in general. You didn’t NEED the Eric Roberts subplot, and its a cliche of the genre (if you can call video game tournament fighter movie adaptations a genre.)
You know, ironically, the Speed Racer movie had probably one of the more believable “tournament” plots and villains. Cartoony as the whole world was, it made perfect sense in the context of the world set-up.
eric roberts needed the money people get off he’s back for real :)
I actually think that his character was one of the coolest parts of the movie. He’s like The Dude on holiday in Phuket, if The Dude was a ruthless billionaire magnate. I swear if I had that sort of money, that’s exactly how I would dress and act 24/7.
I like the story! =D
I’m really sorry for what I’m about to say but… you guys are fucking morons. Damn you stupid Yankees hating on Filmbrain I hope you rot in hell with Tidus as a companion :-(
Oh really? I can do that too.
“I apologize for saying this, but….damn you stupid eurofucks for oppressing my people and I based on the color our skin and the fact that we refuse to submit to the choke chain of anglocentric culture. I hope your entire continent burns and that you and your fascist cheerleaders find your skulls being used as paper weights.”
See? That was:
1. A broad, blinkered generalization which paint dips an entire people.
2. Mean-spirited and obviously based more off personal prejudice and a desire to rant rather than facts or a willingness to contribute to an ongoing dialogue.
In other words, it is exactly what you just said.
Just because you say “I’m really sorry”, does not absolve you from following it up with a hateful, misguided rant condemning those who disagree with you.
That you do not agree with a group of people or an individual is not the problem. Lashing out hatefully and ignorantly is.
I hope you will think carefully and weigh your words next time.
George Lucas needs to learn from Spoony’s acknowledgement of the film-brain-crossover-fan-hate and how he handled it. Where as george would have just given him digitally remastered eyelids.
Also, i’ve never been a big fan of yu-gi-oh but the bandit keith thing made my year.
Best Ass Count gag yet!
I gotta give you and FilmBrain props. Those are some rock-solid-gold man-marbles you guys got.
Omg, this movie uses uses wire-fu? LOL
Automatically this makes the movie ridiculously lame!
And “Shinobi Ninja Princess” sounds almost like a title you’d find in the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, or at least some kind of goofy Japanese-style TV series.
Apparently it’s easy to defy the laws of physics in this movie. A guy’s full body weight can just stand still on a fucking sword while a woman is easily holding it. :-P
I’m guessing the flying invitation blades (or whatever they’re called) are somehow self-guided as they fly off though. That would be as good as any other explanation as to why the blades don’t ever miss their target.
Also, the villain is killed using acupuncture?…
Omfg, did they seriously just rip-off the ending to the Kiss of the Dragon?!
I liked the “fan service act” joke, by the way. And I noticed you made the running ass-count joke a lot more original. That was pretty cool. :-)
“Omg, this movie uses uses wire-fu? LOL
Automatically this makes the movie ridiculously lame!”
The term “wire-fu” is borderline offensive. It’s just “wire work”.
Unlike what some would naively think, wire work is quite complicated and takes a lot of skill. Stuntmen need to get trained a lot in it to do it properly. There have been many serious injuries from wire stunts in the past. A documentary that Robin Shou did on Hong Kong sutnemn called “Red Trouser” even showed a moment where a stuntman almost lost his life doing a wire stunt.
In any case, wire work was needed for this movie in order to replicate the kind of moves that are seen in the games.
“Also, the villain is killed using acupuncture?…
Omfg, did they seriously just rip-off the ending to the Kiss of the Dragon?!
It’s not as similar as you think it is although I suppose I should point out that Corey Yuen (who was the director and action choreographer of this movie) also worked on Kiss Of The Dragon as the action choreographer.
I was only referring to the Wikipedia definition of “wire-fu”, meaning a hybrid of wire-work and kung-fu. Although, I suppose in this case, it’s more like wire-jitsu or wire-jujitsu.
I wasn’t implying that wire-work isn’t difficult or dangerous, but that using wire-work in martial-arts movies ruins the mood of those movies, at least to me anyways. I see them less as “serious” martial-arts movies, involving actually competition and war, and more like generic works of performance art involving dances and acrobatic acts.
I can definitely see your point of having wire-work in there though. I haven’t played the equivalent video-game myself, but I did pay attention to what Spoony said at the end of the video. They needed to do what they did so that they do a good job of matching the game. And that aspect of the movie, I can appreciate; however, overall, I still think the movie is ridiculous and lame.
After my posting, I actually researched the exact plot ending for DOA: Dead or Alive (which, on a random note, I find to be a redundant title). I’d say it seems to be original enough to not be considered a rip-off. I just hope it doesn’t get so overdone that it becomes cliche (i.e. villain + pin behind neck = defeat by random effect).
“I was only referring to the Wikipedia definition of “wire-fu”, meaning a
hybrid of wire-work and kung-fu. Although, I suppose in this case, it’s
more like wire-jitsu or wire-jujitsu.”
That entry is a load of crock. There is no such thing as “wire-fu” (It’s Wikipedia so anyone can add anything to the site). That’s why I say it’s borderline offensive because what is called “wire-fu” is just Asians doing “wire-work”. In Asia, no one calls it “wire-fu”. It’s a stupid term coined by some ignorant morons who thought themselves clever.
“I wasn’t implying that wire-work isn’t difficult or dangerous, but that
using wire-work in martial-arts movies ruins the mood of those movies,
at least to me anyways. I see them less as “serious” martial-arts
movies, involving actually competition and war, and more like generic
works of performance art involving dances and acrobatic acts.”
Ironically enough the kinds of movies that feature fantastical moves like that were the very first martial arts movies made. Chinese swordplay movies (“Wu Xia”) which are period or fantasy pieces (think movies like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) that usually feature these kinds of action came way before what people call “kung fu movies”. Many people in the West don’t understand that those kinds of movies are important to not only martial arts cinema but also to Chinese culture as some of those stories date back centuries.
“And that aspect of the movie, I can appreciate; however, overall, I still think the movie is ridiculous and lame.”
I think you should give it a chance. It has an overall light and fun tone to it that was on purpose and I think it was one of the reasons why it worked.
I know I’ve enjoyed various Jackie Chan movies (and I’ve admired that he’s done his own stunts). But when it comes to martial arts movies with wire-work, I only remember enjoying one of them. It so happened to have both Jackie Chan and Jet Li in it, and I remember that it involved kung-fu. I liked how the movie didn’t depend too much on wire-work, and how the moves actually looked like something you might find in a real fight between martial-arts experts (fast, powerful, fluid/rhythmic, etc.).
I think we just have different interests and opinions on what makes a good and interesting movie. Probably the only reason why I might watch this movie (assuming I can even afford it, since I’ve basically reached financial rock-bottom as of now) is to review it for my website.
Unlike Spoony, who basically implies that it’s a “perfect” movie as far as video-game-based movies go, I may actually give a bad review of this movie after watching it. I’m picturing my character acting like he’s watching a badly-made soft-core porn while my computer comes in to analyze and complain about the bad physics, continuity and w/e. Hell, I’d probably risk doing similar to what Spoony did, except in a more simplistic, random and goofy style compared to what Spoony usually does.
I see wire-work as simply another form of cinematic action. It serves own function and involve a specific kind of skill set to execute right. When I see it I understand the difficulties of it and appreciate it when it’s done well.
What I can’t stand are CGI stuntmen. George Lucas did that a lot in the Star Wars prequels. He had a CGI “double” for Anikan run across a table during his light saber duel with Obi Wan. Why? Was Lucas that lazy that he couldn’t even bother to hire an actual stuntman to run across a table if Hayden Christensen couldn’t do it?
I like filmbrain and spoony both, and they have pretty good chemistry together as comedians, and the review itself was great, loaded with spoonys patented snark.
I like the filmbrain work here, and the self referential humor of the tekken movies review and the comments related to it was great
Poor FilmBrain – I hope he didn’t take all the torrent of hate from the last crossover too deep to heart; I’d never even seen him before, and I thought he was fine, and now I feel terrible for the guy.
anyone giving FB crap about how he talks should shut up and ,let him speak, the review is already made, nothing we can say will change it now, sit down shut up and ignore it if your that bothered by it
Great review Spoony! Really liked it and yeah, it stayed true to the games. :)
I hope that you didn’t receive death threats for doing a review with Film Brain, because I like the one you did together and I think his reviews are fun to watch.
Review was very funny. I especially liked that Film Brain has a good sense of humor about all the poster complaining about him. Also, Spoony needs more movie reviews with kevin nash! lol
really funny man but i cant believe you didnt make any jokes about zack, he was always the butt of any D.O.A related joke me or my friends made. but it was still a great review.
I watched this movie a few days before, and I have to say for how stupid it is it was fun as hell to watch!
Good to know Film Brain has a sense of humor about the backlash.
I could not stop face-palming during this review. The fan-service blew my mind. I gotta say though, Spoony is right, Helena’s ass is beyond magnificent.
Babes + bikinis + brawls = insta win
geez, you didn’t even mention the half of cast from ninja gaiden in dead or alive like Ryu.
Well, at least the movie and game serve only purpose for jerking off.
Uh, yeah he did.
How about you PLAY Dead or Alive. Not those shitty volleyball games, the REAL fighting games. They’re quite good. And don’t try and pull the Boobs card, mate. I’m gay, it doesn’t work like that
As far as this movie goes, I am surprised that, editing aside, they really did seem to put a lot of effort and money into this. I mean, Tekken seemed surprisingly flush with money, but DOA? It really did seem from this review that the filmakers really did what they could with what they had; I admire their professionalism.
Also, when that pirate ended up getting punched at the end of the movie, did anyone else immediately think of those poor luck pirates from the Asterix? No? Ah, well, I’m European you see.
So is Liu Kang is the big black guy or the priate captain Oo ?
Great work Spoony, well worth the wait. This might actually be one of my instant favorites.
The part with Film Brain was absolutely hilarious (as was your Tekken crossover, in my opinion – not all of us are insane in a bad way). It’s really sad that some jerks have to start flaming the people who took the time and try to provide us with entertainment every time you make a crossover, but I like the way you deal with
Absolutely beautiful XD this review is made of win.
Great video man. Cracked me up, especially the Ace Ventura reference. And that jump on the beginning, man, what a funny flick.
Out of this and the last 3 fighting game movies, THIS one is the best? Oh boy. Well, they had Kevin Nash so why not?
Speaking of Nash, been keeping up with the wrestling Spoony? Hope so, cause I miss Wrestle!Wrestle!
DOA = fap material for fanboys.
…and yes, I agree with Helena’s smoking hot ass.
Correction; DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball, yeah you’re right.
EVERY OTHER GAME?!?! No. Just, no. T&A does not equal DOA. Play a game, idiots…
Oh no, the ass count broke, how are we supposed to keep track of video game asses?
Cool review. You should do a Nicholas Cage month. With movies like Drive Angry – in which he screws a hooker, drinks Jack Daniels, smokes a cigar and shoots satanists in the face all at the same time.
I never saw the point of the DOA Volleyball games. If you wanted to look at porn, just look at porn!
That movie looks fun for all the wrong reasons.
Speaking from somone that has had a mega unhealthy crush on Kasumi since the first DOA game… this actress looks nothing like her.
and the end song was just epic.
The funny thing is that shinobi and ninja…have both the exact same meaning.
So…she’s a Ninja Ninja Princess? She must be really good at that game in Scott Pilgrim…
I guess everything’s Ninja in Kasumi’s world. They probably have Samurai Ninja Lords, Ninja cops AND Ninja prostitutes!
And the proper term for a female Ninja is Kunoichi. Does that make her a “Shinobi Ninja Kunoichi Prince”?
This was an AWESOME review, well done sir, and your right – its a strange little movie but it has everything you would want from a movie based on DOA so.. yeah.
I will admit and i hate to be (that spoony fan) but i panicked when i heard film brain, nothing against the guy he’s a good guy (and i’m english so its not that either) but i just don’t like his reviews/style so i’m glad it was over quickly.
Yes spoony. I’m happy now. That cross-over was genuinely laugh-out-loud funny… unlike the Tekken review which shall remain forever buried in the past.
You did not credit Yu-Gi-Oh for using clips of it? Shame on you.
“This is why you’re single and I’m awesome.” Best Sentence Ever, btw.
Okay, I love your vids Spoony but seriously…seriously? You gave props to Tekken for being a technical fighter and then looked at DOA and said, ‘Tits’. That seems to have been the extent of your research, or at least, it sure felt that way.
Dead Or Alive has the SAME goddamn things Tekken has in it’s series except for one thing. DOA has more emphasis on boobs. Silly Story (Yes, it has one), Incredibly Baffling Endings, Lazy Tournament Setting…the only things it doesn’t have in common is pretty much the way the fighting is handled (DOA doesn’t move at snails pace and isn’t about playing ‘Don’t let the balloon touch the ground!’ and DOA doesn’t have a Panda and a Kangaroo in it, clearly a fault mind you).
And just because it has that emphasis on boobs, you pretty much pretend like it’s not worth your time, the effort of the devs put into the game in making an awesome fighting game isn’t worth a crap if “Oh well, tits. Fuck this, I’m too good for tits.”.
DOAXtreme was pretty much a joke that played on the fact that yeah, the series first got notoriety for it’s tits. This is STILL the dev that made Ninja Gaiden, you know, a game series that is godly in its awesome battle system?
And you know what happened when Namco decided to make a serious game of
the Tekken series? Yeah, Death By Degrees (The Nina Williams game).
Also, much like every other video game movie. This one got pretty much everything wrong, but then, that’s about what everyone expected when they heard the movie got the fucking green light.
It’s fanservice, but for the love of god man, give the goddamn games some credit. You make it sound as if just touching the damn game means you cheated on your wife.
I have to agree… DOA always had a very good fighting engine underneath all those boobs.
“DOA doesn’t move at a snails pace and isn’t about playing “Don’t Let The Balloon Touch The Ground”"
I would NEVER try to make an argument on technical worth for DOA with
its horrible counter system, random factor stages, and its
almost-literal rock-paper-scissors zoning game.
I’d rather have a thousand Lilis, Laws, and Bobs wall combo me over
another Izuna Drop eliminating a health advantage or Ayane mirror match
As for Ninja Gaiden, its a classic, but in the end, there’s a LOT of
artificial difficulty in the classic series. I’ve had very little
success without abusing the jump slash in the modern trilogy as well.
That and its in the end, just a alright Virtua Fighter clone that everyone plays instead because
1.VF doesn’t have giant boobies or super flashy moves.
2.VF is easy to learn but INCREDIBLY HARD to master or even win your first matches in, but people eventually forgot about the former.
3.Sega can’t advertise its lesser franchises in America for beans. Yakuza for one.
Spoony, that wasn’t a mountain. That was a flying island. Maybe it was the unfinished green screen effect but that was not a mountain.
I enjoyed it when Film Brain was on here… Good review, loved the Bandit Keith thing.
That Film Brain segment was handled perfectly, and was hilarious.
Jolly good show, I say.
I love how you handled the Film Brain hate in this video. Great job to you and Mathew on it.
Since when is Ninja Gaiden’s Ryu a master of stealth and assassination in…ANYTHING he’s in?
All the modern and old school game series’ main attraction is that he’s walking along and ninjas, demons and exploding dogs pop out to surprise HIM. After he’s surprised he retaliates by slicing and dicing them into little bloody pieces. Cause, ya know, a master of stealth and assassination means you are CONSTANTLY BEING SPOTTED AND HAVE TO RESORT TO DIRECT ASSAULT TO KILL YOUR TARGET(S). I am NINJA!
About the DoA series: The entire series of games is at least faithful to their one defining aspect, which is having the girls shake their asses and jiggle their tits for the audience.
Ninjas in Ninja Gaiden don’t need to be stealthy. As long as they don’t have gaping holes in their defenses, they’re fine XD !
Congratulations! You were able to do a theme month in just under two months! But seriously folks, don’t fill your boobs with helium.
The broken Ass Counter was a great bit
I enjoyed this movie! I played the 1st couple of games years ago. The only bit of story I recall was Kasumi being cloned and that for reason the boss was some wierd Japanese god guy that clucked like a chicken and when he stamped his feet the seasons changed around you.
Also the chick that played Tenna(that chick from My Name is Earl) I find hot for some reason!
I hope they make a direct to DVD sequal someday as it was good enough and as you put it closer to it’s sorce than any other Fighting Game movie ever produced!
PS: I say we burn the bloody Brit!
You never actually played a DOA game did you?
You wanna hear something crazy? This movie has a 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. For a video game movie that’s little more than fan service and fight scenes? That is INCREDIBLE. By contrast, “The Last Airbender” is at a piddly 5%. At least “DOA” was faithful to its source material (its stupid, stupid source material).
2:23, oh… no, no, NO, NONONONONONONO!
2:43 please… no… I’m sure you ahve great fans… but oh dear god no.
3:10 YES BROTHERS! SIEGE THE AFFECTED-SPEECH ONE’S CASTLE
3:44… YUP… Happy, sorry, but ecstatic
The villain’s big master plan was the last straw for me with this movie. My Bullshit Meter hadn’t gone off this loudly since Deadliest Warrior. Not only did he NOT need the money, but the plan itself wouldn’t work. Just because he can anticipate an opponent’s moves, doesn’t mean he can keep up. Unless he’s been working out and avoided carbs like casting companies avoid Lindsay Lohan for years, he wouldn’t have the endurance, speed, coordination or strength to put up any kind of a fight. And if he HAD been keeping in shape all this time, that’s practically training for God’s sake. Just take a couple classes at the Y, man.
Oh yeah, great review Spoony. Worth the wait :)
(Not that I minded waiting)
Oh my god. I died at the ass count bit.
BULLSHIT! That’s not Ryu Hayabusa. Hell he looks more like Liu Kang than that hitman that attacked Tina! Oh and aren’t you supposed to call out Bandit Keith for technically not being American every time he mentions America?
Wow! That was some of the best stuff Noah has done in a while, and was totally worth the wait. I’m not easily impressed with internet reviewers now days, but that was awesome. It had just the right amount of funny jokes, the pacing was excellent, the gripes seemed legitimate, the over-the-top fake anger seen so often on the net now was not there, and it ended on a positive note. Great job, Spoony!
Insano moved out and still he manages to sneek some information into this video *laugh*
And a great review too, even tough this movie makes me shake my head in
frustration. I never knew much about the games and I have definately
never seen this movie but now I know I didn’t miss anything *laugh*
AND we got two great cameos as well. What more do we want? ^^
Now, now, Spoonster, DOA does have some plots and backstories, which do show up in this movie. I’m sure some people will fill you in on specifics, though. But essentially, Christie’s a whole new character if she smiles. Even on the Volleyball games she’s all scorn and ellipses.
While there are some things about this movie that I dislike(the stock noises they used during fights, most of the made-for-the movie characters) the fighting’s not bad, the tone is accurate and they don’t mangle the story of the games too bad. Heck, they worked in most main characters. KoF didn’t even TRY.
I really thought you were gonna aim the hate ray and smash the film to pieces and I am pleasantly surprised with what you gave us. I thought the movie was fun and liked looking at Devon Aoki and Jaime Pressly (and Helena’s ass). It is definitely no cinema masterpiece and was made for brainless entertainment, but for everything ridiculous and over exaggerated, it is something fun to watch with a few pals. I am glad you could see the fun in it as well.
And seriously, is this really all poor Robin Shou is doing these days? He was in booth Mortal Kombat flicks, the stupid Street Fighter Chung-li flop, and this. That’s gotta be some kind of record.
I’d ask why Film Brain has burley men and a vat of molten lead at his house, but once the scantly clad hot chicks started appearing, I stopped caring. :-D
Great Bit with the ass counter.
I don’t get the Spoony fan base. Film Brain had a great appearance in the Tekken vid, and these kind of shitty more recent movies are his field. I wanted him to do more in this episode, but he had a good cameo.
Great review Spoony! And poor Film Brain. I still love you FB! XD
And guys, calm down. It’s just DOA. What are all of you freaking out about? Yes, it’s a technical fighter, but ca you honestly say that T&A isn’t a huge chunk of this series? I do believe I remember and interview with the people who make the game, and a good chunk of it was about the boob physics and the bikinis. I wish I was kidding, but no.
I’m not making fun of the series, believe me, but it’s still more well known for boobs and pole dances then fighting. :)
Again, great video Spoony and I can’t wait for the 3rd part in the FF X-2 series!
In ancient China, people used to fight crickets (similar to cockfights). I’m assuming the cricket in the box thing is similar to that.
Also, no “In America”? I am disappoint.
I can’t help but feel that the no-holds barred deathmatch cricket fights might be a little… underwhelming? A little too small to really see what’s going on?
Not saying it didn’t happen at all, I’m just puzzled by how much entertainment it could offer.
Well, in Japan they had small turtle racing thing, so I guess they are fine with that concept.
This was a very funny review, and I thought that everything ‘clicked’ very nicely. The cameos and the jokes were great, and even though this is an easy film to make fun of, the riffing and the conclusion came across as very natural. I do think it’s the best of the fighting game reviews you’ve done so far.
I was surprised at the Film Brain part, as I hadn’t read any of the comments for the Tekken video… It’s good that people say what they feel and offer criticism, but I found the level of anger and even hate in some of those posts very disturbing. Accusations of corruption, prostitution, Stockholm Syndrome…It was nuts. I really hope that those cases were just typical Internet belligerence, since the idea that some people could get so legitimately worked up over free entertainment…worrisome. Better keep the boiling oil handy, just in case.
Anyway, I guess I really can’t think of any more movies for you to review-fatalfuryanime. :D
Oh get off your high horse. People didn’t like something you like boo hoo hoo. Sorry to hear that your parents raised you in a way where having your opinion challenged never happened.
…Do you really just prowl the site waiting for people to post?
I haven’t posted in two weeks. I’m here because a new video was posted.
Good. You had me worried there for a second.
Lol hibiki you’re such a troll, the guy points out that the commentors were also saying stupid ass shit that wasnt true and that they were making idiots of themselves by making retarded insults, and you consider that their “opinion”? Learn to read. Calling someone a nigger isn’t an opinion.
A little nitpick, in the first Ninja gaiden, Ayane acts and dresses like a ninja fullstop. Basically forget DOA exists and ayane becomes a legit character.
A legit character with about as much purpose as a random character who just appears randomly to continue the paper thin plot you mean.
It’s really sad that the DOA movie is one of the few – out of all the movies made about fighting games, out of all the movies made about games in GENERAL- to actually stay close to the source material.
It’s not that I’m Spoony Fan boy. It’s just that I don’t like Film Brain. At all, whether or not this is ‘his thing.’
How do you make a movie out of a DoA game?
Being german, I can’t help but notice, that the bad guy look like Jürgen Drews:
Oh gawd, you’re right Oo !
Hey Spoony and well everybody else did you hear reb brown is going to be in another movie. Cant promise the authenticity of this news since i found it online, but according to imdb its in post production. In something related to this video i loved it and found it absolutely hysterical.
Please keep Film Brain far away. :(
Red Brown is still acting? That can’t go well, he must be in his 50′s by now.
yup oh and the director/slash writers highest score on imdb is a 5.8
I’ll be honest, I was NOT expecting LittleKuriboh to show up.
Lumber…..we need lumber…..
I’m not ashamed to admit that I played DoA Extreme volleyball a lot, and Tina was the only character I ever played because she had the biggest boobs.
As for this movie….. Jaime Pressly? REALLY? Tina is supposed to be a strong, iconic sex symbol in wrestling and you cast Jaime Pressly?! She looks like a 30 year old couch!
Yes! Fuck Film Brain! Thank you Spoony…. Loyalty rewarded.
Does Bandit Keith know that American Woman was written by a Canadian band?
I doubt it. He was probably like, “This says American, so it must be American…. from America.” At least that is how I think it went.
LMAO the ass count broke.
this movie would be alot better with spartan 458 from doa 4
Thank you Spoony fans for killed Film Brian. :-)
What’s the deal with the cricket in the box? And how many crossovers have you had with Film Brain thus far?
Better question: why is the cricket blatantly CGI?
Maybe they tried that scene with a regular cricket and it kept getting away so they CGIed it.
Or maybe no self-respecting cricket wanted anything to do with this movie, so they had to fake it in the end with computer technology.
Kind of like the Prairie Dog Actor’s Guild with the 4th Indiana Jones movie.
Hahahaha! XD I loved the skit with Film Brain (who I also follow.) I love all the people thanking for it like Film Brain didn’t like agree to it or act in it…
Oh god and a Little Kuriboh cameo as well. You had to punch up this movie somehow I guess.
Interestingly, the PRIMARY complaint that people had about Film Brain was his stretched out sentences, which he AVOIDED DOING in his cameo here. So, not only are you guys acknowledging the fan base, but you also seem to be taking the criticisms seriously. I applaud Film Brain for making an effort to be a more enjoyable reviewer. If he continues to improve himself (and gets a better mic) then another crossover might no over so poorly.
I love DOA, only thing wrong with it is the theme song, it needs to be sung to the Transformers theme: “Dead Or Alive, more bikinis meet the eye. Dead Or Alive, porno in disguise.”
How can you not love this movie!
The only two things I’m seeing in the comments:
- The film brain issue
- The ass count gag gone nuclear
I’d agree with you Spoony, this is as close to source material as anyone is going to get which could make it the greatest video game movie ever.
For what it’s worth, I like Film Brain. Don’t be afraid of using him.
The credits don’t list the footage of the angry Spoony mob. What movie was that from?
It’s part of the the Airplane II clip – no idea, where they got it from.
I follow film brain, and I loved every single crossover. I have a fever, and the only cure is for Film Brain and spoony to review a Christopher Walken movie.
Nice review Spoony,
This movie was just weird, but at least they got the fanservice right.
The only unforgivable thing is casting some random wimp as the badass Ninja Ryu Hayabusa…
(Not ashamed to admit, I own almost all the DOA and Ninja Gaiden Games)
The Filmbrain part was awesome, even you admit having an extreme untolerable fanbase.
“The only unforgivable thing is casting some random wimp as the badass Ninja Ryu Hayabusa…
(Not ashamed to admit, I own almost all the DOA and Ninja Gaiden Games)”
The ignorance of that statement is astounding.
That “random wimp” is Kane Kosugi. Son of Sho Kosugi who was famous for doing those cult favorite Ninja movies in the 80s (e.g. Enter The Ninja and Revenge Of The Ninja). Sho Kosugi was the old Ninja master in that movie Ninja Assassin.
If you actually watched DOA and watched Kane Kosugi’s infiltration scene his athleticism is unquestioned. At one point he jumps into split, sliding into the center of the bad guys, does a leg sweep and then goes into flares. That’s not something that a “wimp” is capable of.
Kane Kosugi who????
well to be fair, the real stars of the movie are the girls;
I wasn’t expecting Hayabusa to be a main character anyway.
And as atlethic as that guy might be, all the people I know who have
watched the movie always point out….. That’s supposed to be Hayabusa??
Maybe it’s the costume, I guess…. (He just doesn’t look the part)
He doesn’t look the part of a ninja??
Thanks to his dad’s reputation of Ninja movie’s in the 80s, almost half the roles Kane Kosgui has played have been ninja related (in Japan). And thanks to his dad training him Kane Kosugi is an outstanding martial artist.
Him playing Ryu Hayabusa is actually spot on casting.
In fact if the world were perfect Kane Kosugi would be playing Ryu from Street Fighter in a live action movie. Interestingly enough he voiced Ryu in the Japanese version of the Street Fighter Alpha anime.
People dislike Film Brain? I mean, there are crossovers I can’t stand (and even Spoony reviews I don’t enjoy), but he seems like an inoffensive bloke.
Anyway, I actually really like the gameplay in the DOA fighting games, so this movie is still a letdown for not having better actio. But at least it’s not a lie-filled sin against gods and men like the King of Fighters movie. Good review.
Not sure what you mean that ” this movie is still a letdown for not having better actio.”
The movie’s action was the best thing about it. It was top notch and better than any other video game movie made thus far. It was directed and choreographed by Corey Yuen who is one of the best action film makers in the world and Jet Li’s favorite action film maker to work with.
I suppose I’m referring more to the cinematography, setups and abysmal/upsetting use of CG – aside from a few fun shots there are a lot of goofy scenes of stuff like Kasumi running floatily on people’s backs and Leifang plummeting to her death. If it was the games, we’d know that kind of fall barely dents the life meter – but this flick caroms between trying to have its fights be over-the-top and firmly dramatic.
Eric Roberts is the man, though, I forgot to say that – super nice on set, too.
The cinematography was solid. I’m not sure what you mean here.
The CG wasn’t great but blame that on the budget.
I don’t see Kasumi running on people’s backs as goofy because I see lots of Chinese fantasy films where that sort of thing happens a lot so it isn’t strange to me.
The movie never says that Lei Feng dies. Simply that Lei Feng was “KO’d”. Spoony misinterpreted that as a death in his review.
The film’s tone is for the most part light, not many scenes were being “firmly dramatic”.
And over the top fights doesn’t equal silliness. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon had over the top fights throughout and yet people didn’t complain about them having a hard time accepting the film being dramatic.
OH MY GOD! WHAT’S WRONG WITH KASUMI’S FACE?!
Devon Aoki is hideous it’s true. I couldn’t stand the girl they had as Tina either though none of them were as bad as Devon Aoki as Kasumi.
Heh, I figured that would be the conclusion. I mean, a fighting game series that’s dominant in repetitive and braindead fanservice, for some reason, a movie is capable of doing exactly that…and more. Two negatives DO make a positive? We’ll have to wait for Uwe Boll to make a movie out of MindJack to find out!
Also, I like Film Brain, like the crossovers, and LOVE the LittleKuriboh crossover.
I’ve got Film Brain’s head sitting on my mantle piece. I look at it everyday and think to myself, “Man it’s good to be a Spoony fan.”
The irony being he trolls ya for ya hate.
Keep it classy…
Yeah. I don’t even know where to begin with this movie. It sure did nail it’s source material dead on. And for once, that was a bad thing. Great review Spoony my man.
Also, while I know where the whole “ninjas are black clad super assassins” schtick comes from (both myth and the stage hands at the old Kabuki theaters), but any guy like Ryu Hayabusa is no more a ninja than that fuckrat Naruto. Actual ninja (from the Sengoku period) were feudal assassins, true, but they were also experts on guerrilla warfare and were essentially mercenaries. They used disguise, bribes, sabotage and, at many times, the aforementioned guerrilla styled warfare to get close to a target and take it out, and they were used more often than not as infiltration experts for the purpose of thievery. They didn’t have magical powers and didn’t wear all black. Only in the movies and on TV do they do that. Still, even the fake ones are awesome, so I can’t be too hard on them.
Honestly if this is how Spoony handles criticism all the time, instead of raging about being a tyrant of twitter, he’d probably have less haters. On the other hand though, seeing those banhappy twitter posts are entertaining too… decisions, decisions.
Thanks Spoony! Another awesome review.
Really enjoyed the review, until the Film Brain part. Then I stopped watching the video.
Did you not learn your lesson with Tekken?
Did you really stop watching until Film Brain showed up?
I really did; it was like a gut reaction, it happened so fast. Film Brain is the single least entertaining person on the TGWTG crew. I’ve honestly tried to watch some of his material and I just can’t get into it.
I did decide to re-watch the review while skipping the Film Brain section. And then we got a completely pointless and un-funny LittleKuriboh cameo, and at that point I knew there was no hope for this review.
I get that you want to shake up the status quo every once in a while, but for fuck’s sake make sure that what you’re doing is cohesive and entertaining. The Linkara team-ups were much better than what we’ve been seeing lately, and I HATE Linkara almost as much as Film Brain.
It truly is amazing how childish some people are. It’s not up to you to decide who Spoony does or does not do crossovers with. If you don’t like that person, fine, just don’t watch the video. But don’t expect Spoony to bend over backwards just to tend to your specific tastes. I personally like Film Brain’s reviews and was pleased with the Tekken crossover.
Well, I can’t fault the game for being honest. It’s not pretending to be a good game, it’s just about doll-faced women with huge bouncing boobs.
Compare that to shit like Dead Space!
The DOA fighting games sre good games. Try playing one before passing judgement.
Maybe I only noticed it because I’m from the state, but the closest city to the Australian dot would be Mt. Isa… you’d have better luck finding multi-national evil syndicates in Salt Lake City.
I liked the tekken cross-over review >o>… I’d would have liked this one as well. Stupid mob. Ah, well you can’t please everyone.
I don’t believe this
how did you NOT comment on the black guy with the ridiculous hair?!? it’s a fucking unicorn of hair! I’m amazed that his fighting style doesn’t revolve around impaling people with it!
They might have gotten the DOA movie right, but when I saw it, I was all kinds of clueless because I never played any of those DOA games. I couldn’t get my head around why Australian soap actress/pop sensation Holly Valance and “Joy Turner” were in a lame “martial arts tournament movie” with gratuitous boob and rump-shot.
This movie also contains a “between the ass cheeks shot”. The latter is variation of the classic “between the legs shot”, however it is rarely used outside the pornographic movie genre.
Also…could it be that Devon Aoki’s pan-Asian facial features are so famous that emotional expression comes at an extra cost? Either the movie couldn’t afford to pay for these, or is there a contractual obligation based on the ill-belief that the ethnic stereotype of the “Asian mystique” can only be conveyed when the actress remains gormless.
Dude, that wasn’t a ninja sword, that was a samurai sword. Othervise the riview is awesome.
Some fans can be AMAZINGLY rabid about their ‘loyalty’ to reviewers. Crossovers happen, and I’d have thought Spoony fans would know that if you’re going to get irrationally uppity then he’ll just do something to piss you off more. Like here. And it was glorious.
But yeah, dumb movie but it had T&A and fighting. It’s about all you expect really, especially from DoA.
Loving the ‘Lord of Tekken’ shirt too.
This was glorious.
By Bob… it’s Wes Anderson’s best movie and most accurate movie every :o
I have to admit I need to see this movie XD and I’m a straight woman XD
Anderson didn’t direct this movie. Hong Kong action film maker Corey Yuen did.
I don’t understand what people have against Film Brain.
And generally speaking, crossovers done on Spoony’s reviews are handled well.
Some of the other TGWTG reviewers (some not all) are really bad at including cameos in their videos without it derailing the whole thing.
Ok, who played the hilarious ending song sung by LittleKuriboh at least 3 times in a row? :-P
I’m a huge fan of spoony, and seen all of his videos like 2-3 times, but I don’t get why people dis like film brain, his work is good and his cameos are well handle and not as if they so pervasive that you cant tune him out if you don’t like his stuff.
I like his stuff too, but I can see why people dislike him (though I’d say the “dislike” is more of a kneejerk reaction). He speaks in a specific way and enunciates the last word on most sentences in a very drawn out fashion. It’s kind of like and acquired taste (Example: I really like JRJR’s comic work, but some people don’t like the way he draws. That kind of thing).
thank you for this awesome review spoony, it had just the right amount of cameos and thank you for listening to your fan base, I would have killed myself if I had to listen to “him” more than that. It was a tasteful mix this time around :).
But to thous that are rabidly defending film brain, its your taste, its just different from mine, thats it nothing more nothing less.
Very well put, I applaud you sir. :)
I think though you try come across as mature, claiming going to kill yaself because of an internet review pushes that away. It’s major overkill.
As they said:
Internet srs business.
DOA awesome movie A+
Flim brain A+ for trying (stop ragging on the guy)
Not so funny a review but so true and still as good as ever A+
Raging fans of spoony who can’t deal with a cross over F >.>
Good review i assume that since spoony finished on the note of fan service he will be returning to his FF X-2 reviews now glad you did DOA.
“American Spoony” may well be the most unintentionally hilarous thing I’ve heard in my life! :)
Thank god FB didn`t fuck up the review. The angry mobjoke was hilarious >:)
i love the ace ventura reference xD that’s EXACTLY what i thought at that moment :D
My first reaction when I saw FB again was “oh please god no!” but I gotta admit the angry spoonyfans joke was pretty good. =)
Great review Spoony, as many others have said the Film Brain segment was really well done in particular. And I agree with your conclusion: yeah, the movie is mindless crap, but that’s the source material they were working with and they did get it right.
I didn’t know there was a Dead or Alive movie that wasn’t made by Takashi Miike. Well, now I know.
Awesome review , Spoonz , probably the best in your entire Tournament Fighting Video Game Based Movies Month(s) , or TFVGBMM for short. :P
especially the bit where your crazy fans try to kill the poor Film Brain (yeah , I read those negative comments , too) , and Bandit Keith’s cameo and his end credit’s theme song (Which is 1000000 times better then Sad Panda’s whaling).
even though I don’t own an Xbox , and never played any of the DoA games , I enjoy watching some YouTube footage from the their Extreme series , just for…ummm…witnessing the accuracy and details for the whole jiggle physics , and how do they work in action , yeah. >_>
can’t wait for more. ^^
The DOA film is pretty awesome, and I think this review shows it. It´s incredibly silly, and therefore so much more entertaining than other fighting game films. (I´m looking at YOU Street Fighter the Movie!)
One of the best examples of unintentional humor here is the invitation-knife-shurikens. Donovan´s organization must have the most skillful tallent agents ever. Not only are they supernaturally accurate when throwing these thingies, but they are also able to monitor these events happening on the ocean and in hotel rooms guarded by agents whithout being seen? Donovan should put better use to those guys because man, they´re good! And he should come up with a better plan than ridicolous sunglasses too.
Props for the clever Filmbrain segment. Spoony has some rabid fans, this was a good way to take advantage of it.
And that mermaid-scene took me completely off guard. Unstoppable laughter attack.
So how many of you people that are sat there judging the DOA series have ACTUALLY PLAYED ANY OF THE GAMES. Yes DOA extreme was blatant fan service and crap but you know what, your all just jealous your little game series didn’t think of it first and dont even think of lying and saying your not. DOA deserves no more shit for the volleyball games then Final Fantasy does for 10-2.
It occurs to me i didnt present my argument very well there, allow me to correct that. There were 3!!!!! DOA games BEFORE Xtreme Volleyball was made. So does it seem far to judge the previous games for that one? no. Besides the DOA series has the single greatest argument to ever play any game in it. Ryu Hayabusa, one of the most awesome game characters EVER.
If I want to play Ryu Hayabusa I’ll just play any of the Ninja Gaiden games.
You seem to sway between excusing Xtreme Volleyball with the rest of the series and berating fans of other games for “not thinking of it first” (as if DOA was the first game to utilize heavy fanservice). Make up your mind dude.
I personally don’t mind the fanservice-centriq mindset of the games (talking about the main series, never played the volleyball games). Never got into them though, the fanservice is nice, but if the mechanics don’t back it up then I won’t stay around (not necessarily saying their systems are bad, just that they don’t appeal to me).
I wouldn’t mind at all if you did more Bad Movie Beatdown crossovers. I’ll watch them. I don’t know about the rest of your fans but I’ll watch them.
And I know this is going to get me some hate but if theres anybody I don’t enjoy you crossing over with, its Benzaie. But I’ll just skip those videos rather than flaming you or Benzaie about it.
Guys, let Spoony do what he wants. He’s gonna do what he wants anyway and the less we complain, the less angry he’ll be about it.
Spoken like a man who is over 15 and has gotten laid.
I love DOA the game, not so much for the overly sized boobs but I love the unique fighting system it has. The counters in DOA are just fuckin sick. The game is really a lot of fun but because of stupid beach volleyball titles and other crap DOA will never be taken that seriously. People will always have a closed mind about it even if they never played DOA. That’s how things are these days, everyone is overly sensitive about everything.
This review was hilarious. I love the part where Film Brain comes in and totally rips on the silly fanboys on here. Kevin Nash is such a troll, he’s just randomly in this movie and doesn’t even try to be in character at all lol.
DOA is just one of those brain dead movies where you just sit back and have a good time just laughing at how silly it is. That’s what DOA the game is all about, just having fun and even enjoying the silly things such as the silly jiggle physics.
DOA Actually does have a story Spoony. It was explained more in dimensions actually gives you more insight on the backstory. The story mostly revolves around kasumi ayane, hayate and hayabusa. In the first game Kasumi and the mugen tenshin enter the fighting tournament to have a chance to defeat raidou who had nearly killed hayate. In the second game they’re fighting to stop a powerful tengu that was summoned to earth. In the third game it’s Ayane’s adopted father Genra and in the fourth game they’re trying to destroy doatec.
I do like how you address the negative response to Film Brain in this video, that said I still fucking think he’s BY FAR the worst reviewer on TGWTG.
Otherwise great review.
Counterpoint: Distressed Watcher; Nobody else has has a campaign to get him kicked from the site.
*That I had seen.
I now stand corrected.
spoony you are the best!!!
do a review of ultima 8 pagan you asshole!!!
Truth be told, I actually enjoy FB. While he’s not exactly the funniest of the reviewers he does at least gives a critical insight that doesn’t go off the wall most of the time and he actually works well off of the more insane reviewers as the straight man.
That being said Spoony, I still have a huge crush on you and you’re my favorite reviewer EVER!
Spoony…you ever think of actually reviewing the anime King of Fighter movies…oh wait those actually have a plot. Never mind.
This was better review than I expected. It really shows that you put a lot of work on this one. Maybe you should do a commentary on this one….
I got to say i hated this film… this is why video game films are bad.. i love the DOA games but no one in this film was right for the roles and all the back ground story’s are done wrong for each characters.. and what happen to showing us the guy fighters.. this film just sucked big time
As much as I don’t want to condone murder, I’ll make an exception when it comes to Mr Anderson. Hate that guy.
Awesome Review! I still got a smile on my face. But why does everybody hate Film Brain that much? I don’t understand it…
Spoony fans hate anyone that is not Spoony. Childish I know.
Film Brain’s way he uses his voice and his motions and tones can get rather repetitive and annoying. For example, they way he elongates almost every word’s last syllable, which was ESPECIALLY bad in the crossover. Also, watching several of his videos in a row gets boring because he has the same reaction to each thing, evidenced by how he has just one expression to represent “Seriously dude? Really? Just fucking stupid.” where he puts his head down and looks up, looking pissed.
I’m sure that some of those Ninjas at the beginning who get stepped on sound a bit australian… :D
Pierre Kirby was killed by “pirates” in the south China seas by being thrown overboard while on a yacht. Messed up how this movie has the same premise.
Oh and 14:44 is the crotch shot. You can see Devon has a bit of cellulite. But I was surprised how “tight” Jaime Pressly was. I mean her little toe and everything still looks like it has some traction despite being around the block a few times.
Oh that girl from the transporter is in this too.
And fuck Holly Valance is incredible. I mean is it me or all girls from Australia drop dead fucking hot!? I never knew about her before. Now I am going to Mr.Skin and see what I can find.
(Well what did you expect from a comment on DOA?)
Ayane is apparently 16 in the DOA games…..o_O Srsly Japan, what the actual fuck?!
Lmao @ Devon Aoki’s delivery in this movie. I’ve got a 4ft balsa statue of Gollum that is less wooden than her acting. She’s still cute though.
Being 16 is totally legal in Japan , yo.
Because American standards (one of the most repressed countries in the world outside of Islamic nations) totally have to apply to every other culture in the world.
Not that the average of of consent in the US isn’t actually 15 or anything…
You know, I was actually talking about her ridiculously proportioned body even in relation to the other ridiculously proportioned DOA females. I’m not American either, I’m from the UK.
I nearly had a heart attack when I heard that annoying voice from a barrel can again.
He really is the Jar Jar Binks of TGWTG.
I think somebody lost his sarcasm detector.
Ha! I seriously didn’t think Spoony would actually make a joke/sketch about all the Film Brain hate. Ironically, what made people hate Film Brain in the first place (the stretching of his last words in his sentenseeeessssssss), he does nearly NONE of in this cameo. Niiiiice.
A couple notes from my personal review of DOA:
- It has a huge feel of being an ‘Enter the Dragon’ re-hash in many ways. You center the entire plot in one single place, an island, ran by a very rich person who likes to do fighting tournaments? Why, no one knows. At least in ETD the villian’s funding is explained…yeah it’s kind of a weak explaination but if works (no, I’m not spoiling it. Watch ETD, damnit!)
- Where’s Jann Lee? Okay, he’s probably a supporting character in the grand scheme of things, but still! He deserves more than just one fight scene with…
- Helena! Holy shit she’s smoking hot! Incredibly beautiful! Her on skates remind me of Heather Graham in ‘Boogie Nights’. [/sexual fantasies]
- Speaking of Helena, she was one of the only girls with a unique fighting style. Really, everyone with the exception of Bass, Zak, and Helena fight the same, with their generic Kung Fu. Even Tina, the pro wrester, gives off a ‘Kung Fu’ vibe just like all the others.
- I know I’m going back to ETD a lot, but just one last note. Just like in ETD, the island is a high tech facility with incredible technology, but not a single gaurd here owns a gun? Even Bruce has to menton that in ETD. “Guns! Now why doesn’t somebody just pull out a .45 and BANG, settle it?”
Very interesting I see where you’re coming from on this and you know what… I think it makes me like the movie a little more.
if you’re talking about ETD, well hey, what’s not to like?
If you’re talking about DOA, well Spoony hit the nail on the head. It doesn’t stray that far from the source material, and if you go into it with a fun, popcorn kung fu flick mindset, there’s stuff to enjoy about it. In fact, there are moments that are shot BEAUTIFULY well, like the Christie/Helena fight.
Awesome, no film Brain, I really think he needs to develop his own camera personality instead of always being angry and sarcastic, its so overdone these days and freaking annoying, he plays a retard in the anniversary videos and it contrasts completely with everything else, in general on camera he seems weak and one tracked minded. Anyways, Great Video Spoony Keep It Up.
Does anyone else find it hilariously accurate that American Woman was written and performed by Canadians? Bandit Keith keeps the Great White North tradition going strong!
Hah, Film Brain’s a sport for doing this. XD
Also, great review in general. Probably one of my favorite ones thus far. Every gag seemed to work out with perfect timing, almost as if the movie had cooperated in being made fun of. XD
Nice review as always. xD I… didnt HATE this movie? It was just not very good and it didnt stay on my memory for too long. Ah well. :3
also, nice additional Film Brian joke. Funny, I dont dislike him, and the issues that were presented in the past review have all but disappeared in this one. xD See ya soon hun!
Wow, there’s a lot of jokes at 19:18:
Divide by Zero
Divide By Infinity
Value of Pi
Value of Mol
Lost Lottery Numbers
What did I miss?
I haven’t seen this much ass since Ace Ventura XD
Her name is Kasumi? Really?
I guess this is was Kasumi Goto did before she became a master thief in “Mass Effect 2″ .___.
Kasumi is a very common woman’s name in Japan. And back in the 90′s this chick was *the* famous Kasumi.
Let’s not forget….
rofl you stupid drone, try Kasumi in google image or normal search and see what you get.
Dude, it’s a fucking JOKE. How could you MISS that? /facepalmsforever
no its not, now stop embarrassing yourself by posting as a different handle.
Actually I’m her sister you twat, I was there when she made the joke, first to me, and I laughed.
Apparently Spoony’s fans don’t have a sense of humour here o_o
jeez issues much…
From watching the two reviews that FilmBrain was in, I believe that the biggest problem that most of the audience is having with him is his very dead pan dry sense of humor. I personally found it funny in bits but it did have its draw backs. That while it might work when an actor is doing it alone. If your doing a duo act each person needs to play off each other and either need to both be dry or not at all. In watching the Tekken (live action) movie, Spoony is alive, up in your face, full of action with witty remarks. Then comes FilmBrain who has no inflection in his voice, no energy, and brings the comedy to a stand still. It brings the tempo of the whole review to a haut as the comic duo is becoming more of a one way street.
Even the second review with FilmBrain who is being attacked by the fans (DOA), he is presents no energy in the skit. That is feels more of a throw away then an actual bit of the review. That I found it odd when watching KickAssia and Suburban Knights, he is alive and bouncing up and down. He has few good jokes, then come these reviews there is no energy, where did that spark go?
I am curious if either Spoony wrote his dialogue or if he did it himself. That the biggest thing I can say is that the timing and the playing off each other needs to be improved.
Amazing as always, Spoony! And great work getting a cameo by LittleKuriboh, you made a good decision there ;-)
Why don’t people like Film Brain? I find his reviews funny and insightful. Out of all the reviewers on TGWTG, I think he catches the most mistakes and plot holes in movies.
Probably because, you know, he is British. And if I learned something watching Yu-gi-oh Abridged, is that nobody likes the British.
This movie is so bad even PBR avoided product placement in it
Haha, ass counter exploding == awesome!
This Madman and his sunglasses must be stopped!
I don’t get why anyone would not like Film Brain cameos with Spoony. Both are great, funny guys. That being said, I hear the music during the Battle of Britain from the beginning of the first Narnia movie in his background. XD I’d love more FB cameos. He’s fun!
Now for this… “movie”. Okay, I get that the game is little more than spank material for guys, but honestly that game has nothing of value. I play a MMORPG with the same boob physics and the boob physics in That game are so funny I mock it whenever I play. Gravity effects breasts and how they move and look, men. Get used to it. Unless you really prefer crinkly, fake breasts, that’s pretty much the lot you’ve got with real life. Your breasts should not continue to bounce whenever you breathe in deeply. And the graphics, good lord. I spent the entire time watching this review and seeing the game graphics with this look of horror frozen on my face. The “bikinis” are little more than string. Just make them naked. You’ll have the same effect with less to render. And the eyes and mouths… Faces don’t work this way. I know it’s anime based, and I love anime based things, but with most anime based things there’s usually some level of realism in how the faces and bodies move. That was really the most horrifying thing about the review: the game segments you tossed in.
Outside of that, the movie is stupid, but what do you expect when your source material might as well be “lesbian” porn for really, really easily entertained men.
Film Brain is in this? Alright, fuck this, I’m out. Go eat a dick Noah for bringing that ball nomming Limey back. ,,l,, >.< ,,l,,
I just started watching the video and saw the Film Brain bit. AWESOME! BAD ASS, Spoony! :D
You tell ‘em! :D
I don’t know all too well. The nod to the comments section of the Tekken review was a nice touch.
Movie itself is so far hurting dialogue wise. Visually, I lost all reason to care. Enjoyable review overall. Also, fuck stealth and infiltration.
God, Film Brain is auditory rape. The way he has to annunciate the last word in every sentence and drag it out, it’s like torture having to listen to him. Please don’t bring him into your reviews anymore. There’s annoying, then there’s Doug’s Bum Reviews, and at rock bottom, there’s Film Brain.
At least TRY to hide your rabid, elitist, entitled, pathetically insulting, pointlessly ignorant xenophobia, irrationally negative flaming hatred and butt-hurt stupidity.
Because, it would make your opinion sound far less rabid, elitist, entitled, pathetically insulting, pointlessly ignorantly xenophbic, irrationally negative, butt-hurt and stupid.
That’s an incredibly unnecessary and verbose way to say Film Brain is unfunny regardless of accent and country of origin.
He isn’t even bringing accent into his argument, he is talkign about line delivery wich is something different, using the word elitist or xenophobic when you don’t know what to say maks yo usound butthurt and stupid. just saying.
Spoony, Film Brain makes your review less funny. We come here for you, and you should be happy that you have fans at all, considering how you like to badmouth them.
Also, considering this is a site run by a man who spends half his time complaining about things in movies and games he doesn’t like, should he be surprised that he gets fan who complain about things they don’t like in his reviews.
I would have to politely disagree with you on that. While Film Brain is not a reviewer I watch normally, he does nothing to prevent Spoony’s comedy. Also, I think it is more of Spoony’s character to be cynical and badmouth everyone, friend or foe. It would be less funny to me if he didn’t badmouth us. Its all in good fun.
“We come here for you, and you should be happy that you have fans at all, considering how you like to badmouth them.”
Hilarious point of view to have, considering that you’re still here posting and clearly a fan, even though YOU badmouth Spoony so much for making the kind of videos he does.
You’re totally not a stupid fucking hypocrite, are you?
this post I like.
Yeah, Film Brain is sooo British. Nobody likes those limeys. In fact, nobody likes Spoony’s friends, or his family, or his pets. They keep bringing Spoony down, I would say, dragging him to “less funny” territory. SPOONY SHOULD ALWAYS DO HIS VIDEOS COMPLETELY AND FOREVER ALONE, I TELL YOU! HEAR ME ROAR SPOONY OR I WILL FIND YOU NOT AS FUNNY AS YOU WAS YESTERDAY! SPOONY, PLEASE ISOLATE YOURSELF FROM THESE JERKS AND MARRY ME – I mean, MAKE MORE FUNNY VIDEOS OF YOU ALONE! DEATH TO CROSSOVERS! DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF THE HORDE OF SPOONY’S FANS!
… yep, I’m sure that would be the best solution.
People rail on Film Brain’s accent, not because were xenophobic (we like Dude in The Suede) or mean-spirited (most of the time). Film Brains particular accent is bad because it interferes with his joke delivery. He stretches out his words in all the wrong places, and it hurts to listen to.
Film Brain needs to watch his accent in his reviews, maybe even take a speaking class or two. Once he can overcome his accent and speak well and clear, people will respect him for the intelligent guy he is.
He’s not one of the youngest on TGWTG for nothing. Doug saw something in the little tyke when letting him on the site. I still watch his reviews anyway just to hear his opinions, because I respect them. He pays a lot of attention to the structure of fight scenes, which is hard to do because of how fast everything moves. He also gives credit where it’s due, pointing out occasional good actor or good scene in an otherwise shitty movie.
I just wish I didn’t have to hear him speak to get to his opinion. In fact, I would rather read a ‘silent’ review where he communicates with big cards, like when Doug gets laryngitis. That would be awesome, sidestepping everything that is wrong with his reviews.
Yeah, British comedy is soooo overrated. Name one, just one British that ever has been funny. We love us some comedy IN AMERICA!
Stephen Fry, Hughe Laurie, Allan Davies, John Cleese, Dara O’Brien, Dylan Moran, oh my god do I actually have to make a list.
Pretty sure Dara O’Brien, Dylan Moran are Irish :p.
Oh God, what do they say? “In the internet, there is always people to correct you when you don’t need it”.
I’ll rephrase it. No funny British ever existed before, because if they existed, they would have worked on a flying circus. Have you guys ever seen a flying circus before? I thought so.
ricky gervaise! :D
Hilarious. You claim you’re not xenophobic and yet you continually insist that your entire argument rests on his accent.
That’s like saying “I’m not full of shit on account of I am full of shit, so i’m not.”
It’s hilarious that you can’t even see what a ridiculous hypocrite that you are blatantly being right now.
Oh Robin Shou what happened to you?! D:
Film Brain’s intonation hurts my head sometimes. As does Nostalgia Critic’s shrieking. Or Spoony’s squeeling. Also people. GRUNT!
As for DOA, Spoony got it right with it being a good _fighting movie_. Tekken just went bananas with post apocalyptic super corporations ruling everybody with airon fisto. This was a good no brainer with lotsa fighting and had some pretty hawt fighters on it, albeit a little lacking in the jiggle physics department.
I think only a director like Uwe Boll could miss-cast Eric Roberts as a good guy.
P.S: SPOONY I DARE YOU TO WATCH MORTAL KOMBAT: FINAL CONQUEST AND COLLAPSE MENTALLY.
To be fair DOA is a great fighter and probably my favorite altogether. It’s a good mix of skill, timing, and being able to fake it (in that if you know some of a characters moveset you can figure out more on the fly). It also has some great AI minus the Kasumi Plasma clone who just CHEATED.
The main plot focused on Kasumi a renegade Kunoichi, pursuing her missing brother hayate, and being persued by another kunoichi Ayane out for her blood. But it was shallow and somehow the DOATech Company was using brainwashed ninjas to kill opera singers and take over the world I dunno. Shallow and nonsensical come to mind. But the game play sold it.
The Volleyball game well… Since Kings of the beach on NES how many beach volleyball games have thier been? Not many.
The movie though was terribly written, acted, and miscast with people that barely resembled the characters they were to portray. Hmmm a common theme is sensed in these movies.
I like filmbrain and i thought the tekken crossover was awesome.
I love filmbrain by the way so more cross overs when you want.
Entertaining review as always. And as unpopular as it is to claim, I like Film Brain!
Oh God Bandit Kieth and perpetual motion all in one video I must alert the CIA to the Spoony Ones nefariousness.
I just need to say, Nooooooo Film Brain, why must the good die young.
Also I love Holly Valance, have done ever since I saw her in Neighbours, I think my coolness factor just shot up.
whos that wierd guy with the funny accent? lol
i want to see spoony rant ^^
Dammit spoony, when did you get so pro? Former film student here, and for what it’s worth I think this is one of your best reviews yet. Most of what I’m seeing from you now (when it’s scripted) has been great!
Well done, sir. You took a horrible film and transformed into Spoony-tantic. Keep up the good work.
Shuld ninja princess Kasumi really have sneakers in the beginning there?… just saying…
THEIR ARE REMAKING THE THING! Sorry thought you should know,anyway great review.
They are not remaking The Thing (which is a remake itself anyway).
It’s a prequel telling the story of the Norwegien camp.
That was great! The “Ass Count” part killed me.
I think I’m going to rent the movie. For science, of course.
Film Brain’s a cool dude. Lay off him, you rabid dogs.
Aw, people don’t like Film Brain? I think he’s adorable!
At 19:19 I fell of my chair. Fucking genius.
Hard to believe Ryu Hayabusa could be foiled by a Scooby Doo sliding wall trap when the guy kills thousands of demons an giant 20 foot tall monsters like its nothing. But they did get his character right. The guy is the worse Ninja ever he doesn’t sneak he just runs down the street an kills everything that jumps out at him.
“Hard to believe Ryu Hayabusa could be foiled by a Scooby Doo sliding wall trap”
Why? Same thing happened to Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon…surpised Spoony didn’t mention it. It was pretty much the same set up and pay off.
I hope one day the villain will turn out to be in massive debt and his(her) nefarious scheme is an attempt to pay back the creditors.
Spoony, how could you not bring up Naruto during the purple hair ninja rant.
You set up the most obvious reference and then didn’t use it!
Aside from that this was a great review. I think its funny you can’t even fault this movie for being bad because its a carbon copy of the source material, only thing left out was moon gravity breast physics.
Also, Matt is awesome, haters need to stop hatin’.
I know I’m showing my Turbo Nerd by saying this, but he ALSO could have slid in a Hinata joke there too, what with Hinata going from petite to “Gazongas!” between the two Naruto series.
Naruto Shippuden: http://th06.deviantart.net/fs18/300W/f/2007/138/d/e/It__s_my_Nindou___Hinata_by_Pia_sama.jpg
Also, Fan Service: http://img2.lln.crunchyroll.com/i/spire4/afc0d0946ab731bc0f08f91d2e21f9e51232038478_full.jpg
Definitely the only good thing left in the series,
what a trainwreck the Naruto Manga has become….
I found this one too late to add it. Thought you might find it funny, too.
Cat Fight in the Making: http://www.motivationals.org/demotivational-posters-1/demotivational-poster-34807.jpg
Dead or Alive : PG-13
Soft porn for teens. Why didn’t we had this kind of rating a decade ago? Eh? Eh?!?
you can’t trick me into tolerating filmbrain with obnoxious self-aware jokes. filmbrain is at his very best when he is silent and far away from any cameras or computers.
The “Ass Count” overloading and exploding from a single ass had me in tears!
Spoony, excellent review.
I’ve never watched DoA but I might after your review, it looks terrible but in a so-bad-its-good kind of way. I think your summary was dead on “It’s retarded, but what the fuck did you expect? It’s DoA!”.
hey isnt the actor that played tina also in: my name is earl?
oh and people. respect film brain. sure i didnt like the review, but u could have least been respectful to him. And if u hate him that much in the cross over review, say it nicely and respectfully dont flat put tell him he sucks, it hurts!oh yeah AWESOME REVIEW SPOONY! BEST ONE THIS MONTH!
hey isnt the actor that played tina also in: my name is earl?
oh and people. respect film brain. sure i didnt like the review, but u could have least been respectful to him. And if u hate him that much in the cross over review, say it nicely and respectfully dont flat put tell him he sucks, it hurts!all nagging aside, AWESOME REVIEW SPOONY!!! BEST ONE ALL WEEK!!!
Great Film Brain cameo! =)
you hit the nail on the head there Spoony; the movie is stupid, but it was so right, and amazingly so. It had the entire cast in there, they all had their respective characterization and fighting styles, and for the most part they all had their chance to shine. Although personally, I would’ve killed to have seen Hayabusa do the Izuna Drop.
the jokes were all pretty good, I liked the exaggeration of just how crazy the fan service in this series is
Spoony, take my expert opinion on this, you need to get laid…
Devon Aoki is terrible. She is so freaking terrible.
Awesome Cross Over; Loved it.
I love how the ass counter explodes, it was hilarious
DOA film review- I am pleased!
Take a hint Spoony, nobody likes Film Brain.
At this point he takes away the focus in your reviews, as well as sullies them with his unfunny presence. Look at all these comments, no one cares about the hard work you put into this video, they just talk about how shit Film Brain is, including me.
You guys might be friends but just think if he’s actually benefiting you in your craft or just another annoying TGWTG cameo that serves no purpose but to make these videos suck for several minutes at a time.
Please can you show a little respect these guys bust their asses to provide you with free entertainment. On top of that the people who do cross-overs for Spoony are his friends. Constructive criticism is fine but don’t just bury a guy who you may not personally care for you don’t speak for everyone
Look on TGWTG and you don’t see hate. Here, you see fanboys acting like like fanboys, hating anyone else who isn’t there God. Don’t get me wrong I like Spoony, but you put the fan into fanatic, kudos.
I love that American Woman, a song written by a Canadian band, gets used to ‘promote’ America when the song is about how much America sucks.
Wonderful review Spoony the script was great and your delivery was spot one and contrary to some I liked the cross-over with Film-Brain his segment was very funny and I like it when performers thow their criticism back at the critics keep up the great work Spoony
“Are you guys happy now? Look what you did to Film Brain!”
I am happy, actually. TGWTG has too many irritating reviewers with annoying accents anyway, and FB has added precisely nothing to Spoony’s videos, nor really any video he’s ever been in. On the bright side, the Little Kuriboh cameo as Bandit Keith was fun. Here’s hoping it takes Spoony less than a month to put up a new video.
You do realize you were trolled? In other words, he made you the joke.
I liked both seeing Film Brain and hearing Little Kuriboh in this one. :) Although I have to admit I sometimes can’t understand all Film Brain is saying, it’s just that English is a foreing language to me, so non-standard English isn’t always easy to catch. (I also have hard time understanding Benzaie every now and then). It’s not the speaker’s (Film Brain in this case) fault.
And of course the video was just pure fun to watch all in all, so I’m happy. You both write good scripts and perform them superbly. Thanks for the treat.
Why the hate on film brain? i just don’t get it. I very much enjoy BMB, he has a different enough style of humor to make him stand out to me. Suburban Knights also really set him apart as one of the funniest of the pack considering his constant mugging as well as the way he acts around the Nostalgia Critic.
This movie is one of the worst I’ve ever seen. The editing staff alone deserve a life sentence for this atrocity.
Though I have to say, Spoony, you could have done a lot better in ripping apart the flaws of this movie. This review mostly just mocks the “plot”. For example in the Ryu fight scene, you only talk about how he’s a ninja but doesn’t act like one. Couldn’t you have pointed out the awkward choreography and abyssmal editing? Hell, the clip you show even contains what I think is the worst segment of editing ever (18:48), it cuts between 3 takes of the exact same sequence in less than a second.
Ahhhhhhhhh, DOA, my guilty pleasure. It’s so dumb, and so utterly shameless in it’s fanservice… in short it’s wonderful! Although – and I may be wrong- I’m pretty sure Ninja Princess Kazumi and Tina did share a small bit of dialogue when they girls where high tailing it up the giant pagoda of death to get to the compound. Or maybe I’m remembering it wrong, I need to watch this again.
Poor Film Brain though, I’m still unsure as to what he’s done wrong? Serioulsy, if there is any criticism to be had, it’s that this Review in particular may have been better if FB had had some input. From the short speech he had at the beginning, it actually sounded like knew a lot about this film and it’s production, which is something I find interesting and gives his Reviews the edge. Not that this was in any way a bad Spoony Review, it’s just perhaps it did tend to go off on little wanders occasionally… but then there was that scene with Christie… and Tina… oh hell, I understand!
Still, awesome as always. Thank you so veyr much for continuing to make me laugh my arse off, and make my housemates wander if I have finally lost it.
Oh jesus, so funny! Literally had me ROTFL! btw film brains is cool dudes.
Was that the launch code from WarGames in the ass count?? (also pi and OBEY INSANO but that wasn’t as interesting)
That’s some damn fine investigating.
The only reason I hated Film Brain in the previous review was that annoying drawing out of words. I have no problem with his material or style and of course he didn’t do it here so it seemed fine.
Great review spoony! totally worth the wait! Your videos just go to show that a web video can be great without many special effects or green screen additions. (tho it really works well for Joe’s show)
I don’t get the Film Brain hate, I’ve always thought he’s one of the funnier members of the TGWTG team.
Some peoplen just don’t like change I guess.
They dislike him for two controversial reviews he did on Transformers 2 and Equilibrium. Nerds have an endless memory for sleights against things they like so attacking Equilibrium and supporting (originally) Transformers 2 is something that will follow his on-line persona forever, probably.
^ nerds are fickle beasts
can you blame them tho? the guy did say transformers 2 was good
I saw trollface.jpg/filmwhatever, got frightened and stopped watching.
Ok, when the Sunglasses giving Donovan karate powers thing came up I immediately thought “Chuck vs the Nacho Sampler”, where he has to protect and eventually burn a young Manoosh who has put a hacked version of the intersect into a pair of sunglasses. Great episode.
That, however, seems more plausible than nanobots reading fighting moves and transmitting them to a pair of glasses etc.
Spoony, why are you so upset? Is it because the princess jumped off that cliff?
Oh Mah Gauwd. Is this the most faithful movie based on a game ever?!!
BTW The ass counter exploding was the best joke you’ve done in a while!
HAHAHA, If the ass count joke was a film… it would be called “Perfect 2: Too Perfect”, gave me Malignant LOLitis!
It’s so sad that the one freaking fighting game they’re faithful to is DoA. Damn.
Excellent work, Spoony One. I loved this video, and it sure as heck was worth waiting for.
Spoony I was not one of your fans that commented on it last time, at least I don’t recall that clearly because I almost never comment on your videos, but I really do not like seeing Film Brain.
Since you are confused, let me explain why he is unappealing: he cannot act. He emphasizes his words in a way that’s really irritating and obnoxious (do not give me any “character” bullshit if that’s the case). He reeks of smugness and he really instills the desire to punch through my monitor.
Spoony you put a lot of work into your reviews, I can tell, and trust me I really want to watch them. But I cannot stand this guy. I cannot enjoy this review because I keep thinking “who the fuck was that asshole, and why was he in this review?” I can understand that Channel Awesome nobodies need to be plugged into yours and Nostalgia Critic’s works because nobody wants to sift threw dozens of random names, but if you’re going to give them the courtesy of plugging their mug they should really step up their game. Provided they have anything to begin with.
And thus Zachary Rudolph was trolled for all the world to see.
“He emphasizes his words in a way that’s really irritating and obnoxious
(do not give me any “character” bullshit if that’s the case).”
That is the English accent. Every British-type reviewer I have ever seen seems to do that (and I do mean all of them, in one regard or another, from Film Brain and Guru Larry to Yahtzee and Ashens). Even that snobby, pretentiousness is just the British aspect of their personality – the accent always sounds that way. Probably some subconscious association with royalty. It comes down to personal taste. I actually like these aforementioned reviewers and I don’t feel the pretension that others claim – no more so than Brad Jones or Noah Antwiler show at any rate.
As for the acting: none of them can act. I like their stuff but if you put everyone at TGWTG including Spoony on am American Idol-esque game show where they had to show off their acting talents for Hollywood director judges and get voted on who was the best they would all be completely destroyed save, probably, for Brad Jones who seems like a guy I could actually see in a major movie role.
Not an insult, mind you. Acting is hard, coming down to not just classes but talent, and most of these guys come off as amateurs. Even Antwiler. That is part of their charm.
“Probably some subconscious association with royalty” Speaking as a British person with parents from East London whose parents were from Island I don’t get how the British can have a “subconscious association” with an inbred group of reality detached, unfairly entitled, stuck up aristocrats descended from Germans?
You are aware that England has quite a few different accents. Saying Guru Larry has the same way of speaking as Film Brain and Ashens is pretty ridiculous. Put a scouser, a Geordie, a Cockney a south Londoner and someone from the west country in a room and tell me they have all speak the same.
What I meant is that I suspect non-British people have a subconscious tenancy to associate an English accent with being snooty and condescending. Hollywood movies tend to portray British as either tea swilling, self righteous red coats with powder wigs or well dressed butlers and foppish love interests in romantic stories. The tone and all that tends to come off as very snooty to me, anyways, though I know it isn’t meant to be.
As far as the difference in accents, you said yourself that you are a British person. I am not and I can’t tell the difference between any of the accents. As an American who gets very little exposure to your culture outside of these videos and a few LPers I follow, you guys all sound largely the same to me.
Not an insult and it isn’t something that makes me stupid as I imagine you couldn’t tell the difference between an Alabama southern accent, a Louisiana southern accent, and a Texas southern accent and I can because I grew up near the southern United States. You have an ear for the differences but to me I know two types of English accents: the kind Space Marines speak and the kind Orks speak.
Englis West Country accent here. An accent older than Queen’s “received pronunciation” English itself, with similarities to southern United States. Now tell me that “Even that snobby, pretentiousness is just the British aspect of their personality”.
It’s not thaaaat faithful, Helena went from being a French opera singer to an American… travel rep?
I thought you would reference ‘blade’ for sure in the draining of powers scene.
Even more so when he busted out the black shades.
spoon I am disappoint.
aw, i don’t hate film brain! but yeah his acting is kind of over the top, especially compared to Spoony’s. Maybe he should consider acting classes?
But, you know, british accent, say whatever you want and ill be listening :B ahah
Little Kurriboh ~ haha.
Little Kurriboh… haha.
poor film brain. i guess there’s a reason when people watch spoony’s vids they want to watch a spoony vid. not film brain. who’da thunk? besides angry joe and brad, cross-overs are really done to death by all those TGWTG reviewers.
Fun fact: The guy that plays Hayabusa was also the black ranger in Ninja Sentai Kakuranger :D
Well it´s like this tough shit here:
How many drugs did they take to make such a movie?
Great review btw. ;-)
Littlekuriboh may just be the unfunniest person on the internet
Im not trolling, Im dead serious.
OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE WORST BIT XDXDXD
Littlekuriboh cant stop himself from putting a horrible song in everything he does can he? hahaha :L:L:L
For being the “unfunniest person on the internet”, seems like he did a good job amusing you…
Like almost everything else in this world, taste is subjective. Sometimes I think I’m the only person on the Internet who feels guys like Littlekuriboh (and Spoony) have their ups and downs, their pluses and minuses, and hits and misses. I don’t sweepingly discount them as either funny or unfunny (although the Nostalgia Critic has more misses than hits with me lately, when he’s good I enjoy him immensely). When they’re funny, they’re funny. When they’re not, they’re not. But they’re never always one or the other. Some stuff they do is funny, some isn’t, so sweepingly declaring them to be “funny” or “unfunny” as a whole is a bit strange.
” Being a 300 pound, 7 foot giant trying to wrestle on unstable legs…”
Fixed that for you Spoony.
” Being a 300 pound, 7 foot giant in his (at the time) late forties after suffering a cardiac event trying to wrestle on unstable legs…”
Lmfao Spoony, I love you. So many people bitched about Film Brain, and I hear his voice two minutes into this. That’s the kind of attitude I like. No, seriously, I’m gonna go laugh at all the butthurt comments now.
I half-expected Bandit Keith to make an Arizona immigration joke there.
And God, gotta love those women whose pores produce their own natural makeup immune to showers… it’s as brilliant as the invention of the bikini in medieval warfare.
Oh no! Hayabusa killed Wilhelm!
…I LIKE Film Brain :(
I was going to make this exact same comment. Granted, Flim Brain needs to get a better microphone, but he’s not bad at all! (He’s more tolerable than SOME personalities on TGWTG, certainly…)
NOOOooooooooooo!Why couldn’t Film Brain be in the whole video he’s one of the best reviewers!
A thought occurs to me. Why the hell did the computer give a warning ‘CIA ALERTED’? Why would you ever need a computer to list that as a warning? Who would write a program specifically designed to let you know the CIA was alerted? If you have a computer that can figure out if the CIA is after you I don’t think you need to be worried about bullshit sunglasses.
The rebuttal to all our anti-FB comments was perfect. I don’t hate Film Brain, I just don’t want to watch him on a Spoony vid.
I don’t hate Film Brain as a person. I just think he’s nowhere close to up to par with Spoony, dragged Spoony down, and I don’t want to spend my time watching him.
I think this is one of your best reviews yet.
I’m surprised you didn’t say anything about that asinine cocktease of an epilogue
This was a great review! I even loved the FB part. I make no apologies for hating him in the last vid. I couldn’t even finish it. But I can’t help but love when it’s poked fun at.
I just love how anime/manga/jrpgs always have women who look like 10 year old girls with basketball tits.
This felt like a wonderful return to form, good job dude.
As for Filmbrain there was nothing wrong with what he said, poor guy just needs to train his voice a bit better. Or if exaggerating his voice is part of his act – he should stop.
Seeing all of these movies, it seems that directors actually have a huge problem creating a story from the source material (game), mostly because the games really don’t concentrate on the story. They are fighters after all. However my question is, what would happen if there was a movie created from a fighter with a great long running storyline – Blazblue is what come to mind. Might be interesting…
Interesting note, Ryu Hayabusa is played by Kane Kosugi, son of Sho Kosugi who was “the guy” who created the Ninja craze in 80′s Hollywood action films with films such as Revenge Of The Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination, Pray For Death and was also the Japanese swordsman who Rutger Hauer fought in Blind Fury .
Just thought the Spoony-verse might want to know; someone linked this video over at ScrewAttack.com, and it’s getting the expected reaction. Might want to go and back the man up.
Nice conclusion. I always remembered you saying the DOOM movie should’ve been the same.
LOL, thanks for pointing out how we Spoony fans can be assholes. I suspected you would. Most of us just thought FB needed some work, and that his style clashed with yours a bit. You and Doug are the most professional folks in terms of the whole production and presentation package , and any crossovers need to bring their A game.
Yeah, the Robin Leach thing is really annoying. Also, from what videos I’ve seen of FB, they’re either really good, or fall flat on their face. He is getting better, but going up with/against Spoony only highlighted how far he has to go.
Wow that is the gayest movie I have ever seen in my life! Great review too spoonster,funny as always! more please lol
Talk about mis-using “gay”!
Kevin Nash looks like Kevin Smith on steroids. I’d like to make a joke about them both being called “Kevin”, but I’m not clever enough.
Hark, men! The secret to antigravity has been found! We must study these breasts carefully and keep them under constant surveillance to ensure that no detail in the constant jiggle is left out!
Film Brain? [SLOW CLAPS GRAdUALLY INCREASING TO GREAT APPLAUSE]
DoA is a much better film than the others Spoony has recently reviewed (even though the script is trash) because it’s equal to the silliness of the games. I think they could’ve WORKED on it a bit more, but I don’t think I can ask for much when directors don’t care much about the source material of a video game. I don’t know who the director or writer was, but it’s an easy bet that they didn’t know a lot about the games beforehand.
Funny review. I actually had to pause when whatshername leapt over the forty foot wall I was laughing so much.
So Kasumi is like a Disney princess?
Okay so I’m not the only one who thought that…
I hate to bring this up… new Tekken (movie?…anime?) thing:
Still, can’t be as bad as some others…
I realize I’m exceptionally late to the party, but what the hell is with all the Film Brain hate?
I freely admit that his delivery isn’t anywhere near as natural as Spoony’s, but as a guy who’s completely willing to put himself out there and provide us with free entertainment, I’m willing to cut him one hell of a lot of slack. I mean, shit, he does a much better job than I ever could.
And, to be honest, he’s one of only four people associated with “That Guy With The Glasses” who I follow regularly – Spoony, the Nostalgia Critic and The Cinema Snob being the others.
300 posts about Film Brain and you can’t figure this out? Go read the other thread.
It’s true that he provides us with free entertainment, but when someone is genuinely fucking annoying, it’s still grating no matter the price (or lack thereof).
Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be good.
So in order to be good, it has to be exactly like Spoony. Okay, got it.
This isn’t free. We pay by watching advertisement. But that isn’t very much.
Hah! I watched that Cave Dwellers (Ator) episode of MST3K just yesterday (half on the day before that)! Neat coincidence.
Okay, last note I noticed. Either Ryu was BADLY miscasted, or poorly directed. We’re talking about one of the most badass ninjas in all of video games. He could probably hold his own againt both Grey Fox AND Raiden at the same time, and THIS was the guy they casted? Whimpy ass voice, can’t even fight that well, and the reaction he got seeing Katsumi in a bikini reminded me of ‘Jizz In My Pants’!…. for all we know, he probably did.
Look, just ’cause he played a ninja in a Super Sentai series doesn’t make him a good ninja.
Ohhh, I don’t know. Beating Grey Fox is a tall order, you know. Wasn’t he an expert killer when he was only 10?? But yes, Ryu got shafted in this movie just a tiny bit.
k.d. lang, maybe?
Oh, Sarah Carter… in my mind you can do no wrong.
just wanted to say Film Brain is a fucking joke, and shouldn’t be polluting Spoony or the Nostalgia Critic like he constantly does, slowing the video to a complete halt. maybe hes an alright writer, but he’s a godawful performer.
There are worse reviewers than Matthew Buck on TGWTG. Look no farther than the Blockbuster Buster for that.
AS A NINJA, HE’S A MASTER OF STEALTH AND INFILTRATION!!!
I can’t believe how Ryu, one of the most badass killers is portrayed as a complete joke.
Honestly? This movie looks like it sort of rocks.
I pray that they never make a Planescape: Torment or Legacy of Kain movie.
“No plot?” When has that stopped movie makers? Especially if the movie’s based on a video game!
I loved the fact that the Tekken comments were mentioned. It was high time the insanity of your fanbase was mentioned in a review, Spoony! Had me grinning like an idiot. What’s completely ironic is that even in this review where FB was in it for about two minutes, people are still bitching about him!!! Hehehehehehe.
The LittleKuriboh cameo was hilarious on so many levels. I almost choked when WWE was mentioned. Makes sense, though, don’t it? … Although the thought of Kevin Nash having sex with Hulk Hogan is going to give me nightmares FOR FUCKING MONTHS!!
“Intense Computer Hacking Montage” had me in stitches. Isn’t it just wonderful how typing really fast on a computer with no proof-reading of programming or endless hours writing code makes you an expert hacker?
I never played DOA, so I can’t give an opinion on it, but from what I can tell, yeah this movie looks like it mirrored the game pretty damn well. What’s nice is that this was intentionally meant to be silly and over-the-top and fun, and it celebrated that to such ridiculous levels that it actually makes this look like it would be a pretty enjoyable movie to watch… although some fanservice for us straight girls and gay guys would have been nice!!
Also: ‘Shinobi’ kinda MEANS NINJA IN JAPANESE! So ‘Shinobi Ninja Princess’ is… problematic. Grammatically.
What? Ninja Ninja Princess makes perfect sense! …If you’re mentally damaged.
that would be like calling Samurai Yojimbo Bodyguards.
You spelled computer wrong.
It was a joke, buddy.
I’d expect better boobies ^___^ nothing can beat the game in this respect. Plus, the in-game girls are kinda… a LOT cuter. Most actresses in the movie could use a paper bag for their mugs.
I’m STUNNED that I have to come in defense of actresses, but most dudes would stab themselves in the arm to just be in the same room as these women. So what if they can’t act?
well it helps. Devon Aoki is just awful. If she was an emotionless killer in the games instead of a naive young girl that would be fine. But she isn’t and I think she only smiles once. Plus Im sorry but Devon Aoki to me is not all that hot.
Ass count= Definitely!
*DOA chick walks past Newton, swinging her boobs around.*
lol bandit keith is singing a canadian song… ha
ok the fact that ryu just jumped in pissed me off. the ninja gaiden games are the prime examples of what an actual ninja is like. i just hate it when movies and tv shows just ruin ninjas in general
You mean how REAL ninja’s are actually farmers that trained themselves in ‘farm-like’ implements in order to avoid being killed and mercilessly objectified by samurai warriors working for feudal lords? And how you REALLY would like to see some game actually FOCUS on THAT aspect of the ‘ninja’ history buuut NOOO. There can not be any TRUE ninja game because who wants a game about a farmer that goes out and kills people oppressing the land?
That would be an AWESOME movie! Get Tarantino to direct it.
There would be lots of good talky scenes of the farmer riding on a bull (or something) with his little daughter, discussing what he has to do for a living, before murdering a bunch of dudes in a paper house, splattering blood everywhere.
FB can cameo as often as he likes, IMO. He’s adorable, and I seriously never get tired of the FB/NC storyline. “Tell the Nostalgia Critic I lo-”
I know I’m a month late on commenting… But I prefer plain ol’ SPoony. I dunno what it is but Film Brain… bugs me. Just the way he ends his sentence with the drawn out note at the end. I dunno it drives me nuts. No mas, Spoony, no mas!
It may be his accent. It kinda sounds like someone is strangling a turkey, they way he almost gobbles out his sentences.
Matthew: “WHAT, I DON’T HAVE AN ANNOYING ACENNNNNNNNNNT! THIS IS NORRRRRMAAAAL!”
I mean, Film Brain is really smart, and I really like his Projector reviews, but JEEZ!
Who the flying fuck is Blockbuster Buster?
A new reviewer on TGWTG? He has a goatee, and his character is a Punisher-esque leather jacketed superhero who uses a hammer to smash up bad movies after reviewing them.
If that sounds like a really dumb, over-engineered gimmick, that because it is.
Oh, you’re GALD? I am also very PELSEAD that you took time to answer my half-hearted inquiry, Xbox controller.
And yes, that sounds like a really dumb gimmick. I don’t really think there’s anything redeemable about that, but what do I know?
I’m just Seto Motherfucking Kaiba.
I always thought the DOA shurikens were somehow flying, not thrown by someone.
How exactly would they fly like that, then? They don’t seem to be propelled by anything.
Bandit Keith…oh please u know whos the real American badass…..Chuck Greene
Chuck Green is a walking Chuck Norris joke. He even LOOKS like him.
I KNOW. That’s why i chose him.
Ah Spoony! Your reviews never cease to amuse me (in a good way, mind you)!
Nice to see Film Brain not being afraid of the people here if he can appear not once, but TWICE in (almost) succession. TGWTG needs more people like that, because I really do like seeing other internet personalities interact with him in his videos, even though they may not be AS talented as Spoony, I’ll grant you guys that)
I don’t hate anyone on TGWTG in particular (I actually warmed up to Blockbuster Buster recently), and Film Brain is one of my favorites, and if I don’t watch something on TGWTG, it’s not because I hate them as people or anything, it’s just that I don’t care for the subject matter they review. The guys over at TGWTG, to me personally, are just people having fun, and in the end, that’s what’s important for me.
To the review itself: Funny all-around (I didn’t expect Ace Ventura to show up!) though It would’ve benefited from a little more….something. I can’t put my finger on it, but there was something missing from the stuff you covered in your review, Spoony. I will say that the crew of this movie got the fanservice down right, and while the plot may have been dumb, the games never had much of one to start with, so I blame the games than the crew for the ridiculous plot. Characterizations were all right, nothing great, but nothing terrible either, though it was kinda cool seeing Kevin Nash in there (despite the fact that I’m not a fan of American pro-wrestling at all). Oh I agree: The editing in parts was HORRIBLE!
Edit: Yikes! Didn’t realize my comment was that LONG
So what you are saying is DOA is the best video game to movie. I think the world may have just become a bit more depressing. :P Love your stuff Spoony!!!!!
wouldn’t Final Fanatsy VII:Advent Children be THE BEST video game to movie adaptaton?? it takes place after the game, has the same characters, has a story, a plot, a subplot, and looks and sounds fantastic!!? also- its not touched by uwe boll, or paul s anderson *who is a really good director* but you get the point.
That’s like saying FF X-2 is the BEST video game sequel.
it isn’t? (just messing with ya.)
as long as it isnt Bloodrayne, can we really lose?
The Tomb Raider movies were good but their sucess ruined the games. That or as usual the second American game companies touch a foreign game it turns into shit.
What about Silent Hill it was a good movie and while SH4′s plot would have been better translated to a movie at least Christoph Gans actually played Silent Hill before making the movie (and the script got some of the actors to play it too).
Also Resident Evil wasn’t a bad movie series it was better than most of the zombie movies out there. Anderson is a better director the Uwe Boll…though I admit the first 2 were the only I really thought were good.
ok, ignoring my obliviously stupid comment, why its posted twice, whatever…
Victor Donovan, Caremine Falcone…Villian? *ding!* Yes!!
Advent Children left out most of what gave the game character in favor of what fan fiction authors choose to remember and had terrible editing. The best video game adaptation is clearly Professor Laton, a movie which perfectly encapsulated the feel of the game and its characters (they even managed to make the numbered puzzles work) while remaining completely accessible to new viewers. It also had a better ending fight scene than Advent Children.
Best video game to movie adaptation was Tomb Raider the first one.
the girls in that movie needed bigger tittys
Even the “Ass count” meter couldn’t keep with this crappy atom bomb of a movie. Since nobody made this joke (far as I know) I’ll say it, whats Victor Donovans’ goal? You guessed it trying to take over the world!
M. Bison: OF COURSE!!!
OF COURSE! !
Okay, I just looked at the comments in the Tekken video, and… Spoony, what is it about you that attracts the absolute worst of internet users? I love your videos, but this is a bit like finding out that the biggest fans of Airplane (my favourite movie) are also the type who keep giving Eli Roth work.
*SIGH* Bandit Keith, you do realize that Song: “American Woman”, is made by Canadian musicians The Guess Who!
(He’s secretly Canadian)
I hate filmbrain!
wouldnt a Ninja Bikini basically be invisible?
But. I love film brain! D:
What game is the cutscene at 1:18 from?!
doa extreme beach volleyball. I am not sure which one it is for, never really played them
DOA Xtream 2. Its part of their opening of the whole game
Is it wrong to want to see this movie now?
only if you dont imagine the ass meter going boom!
Its an awesome movie I say watch it for the LOLs
The Manga version of Street Fighter II was pretty good.
A villian invites various fighters to his island to take part in a competion invovling martial arts. Where he palns on using their skills to create his own army.
So this is a remake of Enter The Dragon then?
Even when Ninja Gaiden guy gets caught in the obvious sliding wall trap while inside the villian’s ”hidden” HQ…which is what EXACTLY happens to Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon.
to bandit keith: she’s american, yep, she’s a bimbo.
I laughed so hard at the Bandit Keith tidbit. Especially since I’m a huge fan of yugioh the abridged series
FilmBrain says “I’m having T-shirts made back there!”
…points to a wall.
Yep…no possibility of a room on the other side at all. ;)
You know i may be wrong but i think bass armstrong is actually played by kevin nash
I checked IMDB. You’re right.
If there’s a big guy in a movie, it’s probably Kevin Nash. Punisher. Ninja Turtles II. Dead or Alive.
The movie is really cheap to get hold of, and there are worse ways to wile away an hour and a half I suppose.
And there are better ways to spend an hour and a half too.
anyone notice that ryu is that guy from godzilla final wars
I lost it at “THE QUICKENIIIING”
The bit with the cricket in the box at 4:20 is a reference to “The Last Emperor” (1987); in that movie, the last emperor of China has a cricket in a box as a child.
It’s amazing, the sort of things schlock movies copy or “homage.”
Just watched this again and… the nerd doesn’t go to the CIA website. He goes to cia-gov.org. Uh, dude? I think you might want to try cia.gov instead. What YOU typed in just leads to an unregistered website that apparently springs from Germany.
What, were the movie makers afraid of getting the CIA pissed at them for using their real URL?
Crap, I want that shirt.
Im happy. No more crossovers with Film Brain. Period
Also… Shakaka. Oh my god I love that joke
Oh god. That part with Film Brain was epic.
The bit with the cricket in the box at 4:20 is a reference to “The Last Emperor” (1987)…”
No? Crickets are an old good luck symbol in parts of Asia (though, I thought it was more of a Chinese thing, but w/e). I know I’ve seen more movies with crickets-in-a-box, but none that I can put my finger on.
So this post is becoming unhelpful, but my point is that it’s a thing, not a movie homage.
Didn’t Disney’s Mulan have a cricket in a box. I haven’t seen that movie in years but I think they did. I know they reference it as good luck or something.
Played my own ass count game with this movie and there was in fact somewhere around 33 ass shots in this movie give or take a few.
Film Brain looks and talks like such a retarded cretin, I can’t stand him.
The funny thing about “American Woman” is it’s by a Canadian band.
And essentially blasts American Women. :P
Appropriate, since Bandit Keith is actually from Canada…
No, it blasts America. The “woman” is the country. “I don’t need your war machines, I don’t need your ghetto scenes.”
Good point. Fixed the comment.
I think it could have done better.
LittleKuriboh and Spoony- Perfection.
The ass counter was fucking hilarious…
What, no Mulan joke with the cricket? And sorry Spoony – Christie is not hot. You really don’t have good taste in women.
In final fantasy dissidia 012 if you play as tifa in her ending pose after she stoping moving her breasts still keeping moving up and down so must be same universe as DOA breasts
i think this movie came for a drunk’s producer poker night where somebody say “i bet you cant do a movie that is almost only fan service” and he say “watch me do it” and we are here.
“Shinobi Ninja Princess”
Doesn’t Shinobi and Ninja mean the same thing, thus make aforementioned title redundant? Then again this oversight is far from the most ridiculous aspect of a movie that makes Street Fight look like Citizen Kane. On the other hand Citizen Kane did not have hot blondes babes in bikinis :)
boobs lots of boobs
Because their faces are nothing to write home about. Seriously..I can’t tell any of the blondes apart.
That’s why your single and I’m awesome
heck, compared to the game the movie’s downright conservative. only one set of huge knockers and they’re on the middle-aged daddy’s girl with peroxide poisoning. i don’t know if this is true for the whole movie, but from the clips you showed it seems to have that perfect blend of SRS BZNIS and almost-self-awareness that makes Mortal Kombat so much fun. yeah, T&A up to our eyeballs, but it’s so blatant without really being explicit that it comes across as fun rather than pervy.
a disorienting blitz of babes, boobs, and SCIENCE!!!!
Wait Ryu…in DOA…..This is where i reenact Kryten’s head Exploding after hearing Lister say he wants Ketchup for his lobster. And for those who don’t know here is a clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4gD3uk_bDrM#t=28s
I just realized that when Kasumi throws off her kimono, her hairstyle suddenly changes.
You looked that far up?
i love the DoA games but those beach volleyball games are the biggest pile of unnecessary bullshit of all time
Reminds me of the “Cinema Snob Anti Crossover Brigade.”
Hang on… Film Brain has boiling cauldrons on standby at all times?
He’s batman! It’s the only sane explanation!
I noticed something in this Film Brain cameo. He didn’t drag out his sentences. It felt way more natural and I really had to “look for it” to notice it.
I like Matt Buck’s vids.
I can’t help but notice how Film Brain always turns his head to the side when he starts a sentence. It’s….odd, to say the least.
I really hate it how people view DOA as just “chicks in bikinis with big boobs.” Yes, the volleyball games were basically just fapping material, but the fighting games are actually pretty decent fighting games. Setting aside the obvious sexualisation of the characters, they have a good combat system with some deep mechanics. Unfortunately it’s gotten that bad reputation for just being about skimpy dressed girls and the actual gameplay gets ignored.