I think you’re being way too harsh on this one. Is it the John Carpenter movie? OF COURSE IT ISN’T! I never expected it to be nearly as good as that movie. I think it has huge problems, but it respected the original while not totally remaking it. That’s why it worked as a solid prequel for me. But to each his own I guess.

I didn’t really care for the movie, mainly because of the inconsistencies, like with the alien or the connection to JC’s movie. For instance the cgi (which I protested throughout the movie) was sometimes okay and sometimes really bad. Also *spoilers* I didn’t like how the alien ship was responsible for the removing the ice instead of the Norwegians who blew the ice up to reveal the ship, like in footage found at the camp. As much as I didn’t care for this movie I didn’t really think it was all that bad. On it’s own it’s an okay horror movie I suppose, but I did like the ending spliced in the credits, that made me a little happier.

Side note: I really enjoyed Lars, his character got just enough screen time for me to enjoy him.

I think you will like this link :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8faq5amdK30&feature=mh_lolz&list=FLkB4uVOxF7vKILw9jxuIeEw

Orea is distracting as hell, while he was biting both of you, i was not listening to shit…

It seems like no media made based on John Carpenter’s films is ever going to be anywhere near as good as the original.  Truly, as Spoony said, the art of practical effects and the necessary creativity they embodied is a lost art in today’s cinema.

Also, Oreo is amazingly hyper, even for a Parsons-Russel puppy.  Maybe you should nickname her “Speedwagon”.

Yeah, the scene with the guy slashing his throat is confirmed to be a deleted scene that’s going to be on the DVD, not that it matters.

BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would actually disagree Spoony. I’m shocked. This is one of those few circumstances where I do, I’m usually exactly in concert. I actually enjoyed this film. I will agree, this doesn’t come anywhere close to beating the original, or equaling it, and it IS unnecessary. However: I will say that for me personally, because I read the shooting script for Carpenter’s version, I know some of the poor changes he made were made because effects failed, so for me, seeing the thing wasn’t the problem. And as a fan of the original, and having heard that it was a “retread”, all the bits where it’s the same in principle but different, really worked for me.Also, I will say: I posted about this on this site a while ago. Fruition eh? Also, we have to admit, the fact that it’s a different test in this movie worked well I think.But I will say, many of the things you said were exactly spot on. I must say I DID like the bait-&-switch in the helicopter. It did catch me.

I didn’t even know they were remaking the thing… I’m gonna take a guess and say it sucks. Also fuck yeah Miles again.

I heard from the AV Club that the Escape from New York remake fell through, but I guess I was mistaken, sadly.

I also remember hearing from Cracked about an effect from that movie that you haven’t mentioned. You know that black and green computer screen Snake was using to navigate his plane? That wasn’t CG; Carpenter took a scale model, painted it black, put green tape on it, and filmed it in the dark.

This is how I figured Oreo would figure into the videos: appearing in vlogs like the Cinema Snob’s cats. I don’t see her acting in the actual reviews.

As for the actual movie, I knew that I wouldn’t want to see this movie once I heard it was a prequel. Like you said, we know what happened to the Norwegian base already. I decided that if I saw it, I wouldn’t spend money on it.

Oreo spazzes out and noms on Noah’s arm for hours on end. Miles says sit… Miles, you’re the fucking Beastmaster, through the portal of win.

Okay, this comment is more about Oreo than actual video content. (sorry. Haven’t seen either of the movies, so I can’t really input anything important to the conversation) She seems a little nom-y on your hand. If you don’t want her biting/nipping too much I suggest making a slightly watered down Tabasco sauce solution and rubbing it on your skin *No more than 1 drop per tablespoon of water or so. Even less than that could be okay. It will keep her from biting because she won’t like the taste. Also works for furniture that you don’t want chewed. Works like a charm. Just make sure not to use pure Tabasco on your hands because the poor dog will be traumatized and never give you kisses again. It’s okay to use it on furniture to make sure she doesn’t chew on it ever. Just be ready to have a house smelling like Tabasco sauce for a while if you do use it. There’s also this bitter apple product you can buy, which you might want to try first, but in my experience all three of my dogs liked it and ate it up like it was a treat.

It sounded like you went in really wanting this to be John Carpenter’s The Thing and when you said the phrase “they didn’t get anything right” well that’s where you’re wrong. This isn’t a remake, it is it’s own stand alone movie. Was it great, no, but it showed what happened at the Norwegian camp, and at the end when it showed the shot of them chasing the dog it did one important thing. It made my girl friend, who had no interest in EVER watching John Carpenter’s movie, want to go home and watch it. She now loves John Carpenter’s The Thing and she never would have given it a chance if not for the prequel. Also I like the difference in pacing from the prequel to the Carpenter one. In second one The Thing has learned how to adapt and instead of just trying to overpower the humans out in the open where every time it did it got torched, it snuck around, and that realization of knowing this was happening again only now The Thing was better at it made Carpenters movie even better. 

In the film, when the guy Kate is with is killed, he doesn’t transform. He wasn’t the Thing. That was the point, the Thing had driven her so crazy and paranoid that she killed a human being. She wasn’t tired when she got into the car, she was destroyed. She was emotionally destroyed by killing her one friend there who stuck by her.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a terrible movie but that was the one moment that I actually enjoyed the film.

I don’t know what you guys are talking about, I rather enjoyed this movie. Stupid, yes. Disgusting, yes. I actually really enjoyed the creature effects, even though I despise overusing CG.
I was honestly quite disgusted with the rec room scene; The arm-face rape was gross and horrifying, but nowhere near as disgusting as the formation of the two-headed monster. I think I went mad then.

And I have seen John Carpenter’s several times, and I rather enjoy it.

Damn

Once again you are watching movies without listening or seeing.

Now playing:

Metallica – The Thing That Should Not Be

You know, I was actually considering giving this film a fair shot when I first heard that it was a “prequel”.  I thought “hey, may be an interesting idea, I’m intrigued, okay, I’ll wait ’til it comes out.  Maybe they’ll actually put some heart into it, I mean, it’s a Norwegian Ice-Block in the middle of nowhere, how hard can it be to do?”  (STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!)

And it looks like they do it the same damn way every other “horror” film does it.  Fuck it.  To Hell with an opened mind, I already know that I absolutely detest horror (or any) movies that rely on corny CG monsters and effects, have crappy actors and characters, and I especially can’t stand “jump-out-go-boo!” monsters that have the subtlety of Hiroshima.  I already know I can’t enjoy this movie.  Now if it were a kind of corny that were *fun* (even in a guilty pleasure kind of way) like the last two Pumpkinhead movies for the Sci-Fi channel, that would be different, but my love for the John Carpenter film will keep me from enjoying something like this. 

I want to blame myself for that as a flaw on my part, for being a fan who can’t “switch off”, but…I have a feeling you don’t have to know a thing about the original to find reason to dislike this movie. 

And a thought comes to me when I think of the corny CG.  Even the DOOM movie used real, tangible suits and effects for many of it’s monsters.  That is a disturbing thought to me. 

You know, the first time I got a glimpse of The (good) Thing was when my father was watching it.  Of ALL the scenes for me to see first, it had to be the Kennel scene.  I LOVE horror movies, but as I saw those effects, I thought “my…GOD!”.  I was repulsed and yet intrigued.  I thought it was a 90′s movie, and when I found out it was 19-80-fucking-2, I could not believe how well done the visual effects were.  And they really are still some of the best!  And a lot of it was because of the lighting.  Low-budget tricks that require thought and effort. 

And to think of all the millions of dollars pissed away on today’s mind-numbing shit.  God, I get pissy when my favorite movies are insulted.  No wonder I had to sleep first before I posted this.  Where’s the Tylenol? 

I loved the Thing, probably my favorite horror movie (though I don’t see many horror movies, go figure).  The trailer for this remake was filled with bad jump scares, and bad action scenes (running away from a crumbling ice shelf, seriously?)

So much crap being stolen from the 80′s.  Get read though, it’s on a matter of years before the 90′s start getting pillaged.  Enjoy remakes of Power Rangers, Child’s Play, Pokemon, and Jurassic Park (this one seems very likely if Terra Nova becomes a big hit).

Always good to see people watching these episodes especially when I just saw the movie last night, but honestly there are a few points I have to make.
1.) This movie is not a ‘remake’ it is supposed to be a prequel to John Carpenters The Thing.  Yes they actually used CGI effects but this is keeping with our modern times but all the technology used on screen is 1982 tech.
2.) Yes in the first movie they said it was a team of Norwegians and that was not a lie carried into the prequel, the team was predominantly Nords.   There were 2 Brits and 2 Americans to fly the chopper.  The Blonde american we see in the beginning of the film is the lead scientists assistant who they establish has been working with him for a while and is to be trusted, the American Paleontologist was reccomended by said assistant as the best in her field and if you think about it someone who could be easily pushed into not revealing too much either because she is a woman or because this would make her career skyrocket.
3.)  I agree that the first film was amazing in it’s subtlety and such, however here is the reason why this movie’s pace is as it is.  They discover that there was an alien and that it was in the ice for x number of years, they take it in all it’s ice-cube glory back to their facility and the team celebrates.  As the ice melts it bursts out and cats out of the bag killing rage.  Yes they have to find it and there is enough space where you don’t know who’s infected and who isn’t.  After they torch it nobody knows that it can infect others until the next morning when the threat emerges on the first chopper out of there.  Since then everything moves fast because there is alot of going on, not just the thing but people in untold danger.
4.)  The ambush predator nature, yes I can agree with you that it blew its cover a lot and more so than it should.  However in it’s defense it was just out of the ice for the first time in along time.  It wasn’t aware of the new species and it’s capabilities so it’s initial interaction is very “Rawr Smash”.  There is no guarantee that every assimilation holds all of the knowledge of the previous so it’s re-learning on the fly.  The longest time between transformations is the Norwegian (non scientist) leader of the facility.  It was accused, threatened, and only really went all monstery after being knocked around after the flame-throwers fuel tank explodes which I’m sure triggered the self defense transformation and splitting apart.  Yes this is supposed to be ultimate ambush predator but more than that the species is more the ultimate survivalist.  Every cell is an organism as was established in John Carpenters version so it can split apart and assimilate a new being quickly so it can hide again.

I have no arguments about the CGI, granted I thought for what it was it was good.
The spaceship plot hole, yes I can agree with your analysis.  And there are some things that were established in the previous movie that got flubbed but in all for what it was I liked it but I can also agree with your opinions.

Good review though.

You’re right, its sad that CG has taken over for practical effects, and movies like this is one of those that gives CG a bad rep, since we all know CG can be used for good. A great example is the Nolan films, The Dark Knight and Inception, he uses practical with some CG to a great way. Yeah this movie is just wasted potential, even though the Predator reboot is ok, not great it was done with respect, this wasn’t.

So, would you say the prequel was better or worse than the video game sequel?

The one thing that bugged me about John Carpenter’s outing and bugs me to this day is the Hangman’s Noose in the tool shed. It wasn’t there when they put Wilfred in there, but in every other sequence, there it was almost right on center of camera…*and no one acknowledges its presence*. That just bothers me, because there’s no reason to have a hangman’s noose other then to use it, and Wilfred was not in a stable mind.

FYI. They also sell flamethrowers in most Home Depots for use when working with asphalt. Adjust your Zombie survival plans accordingly.

I had forgotten how entertaining it can be to hear you two talk about a bad movie.

For some reason, when I saw Spoony’s shirt, I expected him to be in black and white, while his brother was in color.

Two things:

First thing, when I heard they were making a new “The Thing” movie I thought that the people who endeavored to create this…Thing were going to piss all over it like they did the remake of “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (which made me cry after I saw it) and after having watched the review I realize, ha, I was spot on. 

Second thing, Oreo is freaking adorable and I bestow on you ENCOURAGEMENT SPRINKLES!! Keep up the good work!

Spoony man you REALLY need to leave the dog out of your videos, you were constantly being distracted and I feel it really detracted from your normal style.

I totally agree with Miles and Spoony: there was no reason to make a prequel to the 1982 “Thing”; no questions are answered, nothing positive comes out of it, it doesn’t make sense. Prequels only make sense if they take a character from a movie and put them in an unrelated plot (“Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom” is a good example) – this was just a backfiller movie.

Some points:

The original ship – In all versions of the Thing story, the ship or “flying saucer” is destroyed so the creature can’t escape; in the original 1930′s story it’s because the ship is made out of a magnesium-like metal, I think it’s the same for the 1951 movie. I can’t remember what happened to the saucer the Norwegians found, except we see a big round hole in the ice; maybe it was too much of a wreck. By not showing a giant hole with a saucer in it, the new Thing movie breaks continuity with the 1982 movie. Also, having the Thing go back into the ship (and having stuff on the ship work!) breaks with the plot structure of all the Thing stories; it’s either trying to get away, absorb enough of the humans so it can continue to exist, or building a radio to contact its home planet (what it was doing in the original 1938 story.) And escape brings me to point two….

That goofy mini-saucer Wilford Brimley built – Spoony has always though this was silly, but think about it; is the creature going to leave this planet, now that it knows about people? No. That ship was a one-way escape pod to get a piece of the Thing away from the American base. We know the creature absorbs personalities, why not the memories of the people it’s absorbed? And remember, not all of an absorbed person needs to exist for the Thing-copy to survive; all it would need is Brimley’s head. If it could make it to the Tierra del Fuego it would have it made.

The flamethrowers – I never got why they had one in the 1982 film; I would guess it’s because “Alien” showed how cool it was to shoot fire down corridors. If they have more than one in this version of the “Thing”, it’s overkill.

But the 82 Thing movie was shot in summer of 1981, they talk about this on the DVD commentary for the movie. That they would keep the buildings cold to show the effects of the cold, but when they went outside it would be 30 degrees out there (that’s celcius here in Canada so that is HOT).

Crappy CGI remakes claim another victim =(.  Seriously I hate cg in most modern horror or sci fi movies because it makes the movie so much more unrealistic.  It’s fine for small effects but is terrible when used so much like on monsters and crap.

In the original short story “Who goes there” the flamethrower is explained for being used to de-ice the landing strip for the plane.

Thanks for doing this review, guys. You saved me 10 bucks. When I heard this was going to be a prequel instead of a remake, I had hopes for this flick, but, yeah, so much for that. I suppose I can just use the money I would have spent to buy the John Carpenter version on blu-ray.

Fuckin’ Hollywood, man…

This movie is anus

I was watching the original a few hours ago and I noticed something. Even in the original they make fun of the prequel -in a sense. Everyone remember the scene where they’re watching the video of the Norwegians? Bennings asks, “How much more of this crap is there?” Dr. Copper answers, “Well, nine hours, I’d say.” Bennings says, “We can’t learn anything from this.”

I completely agree with everything Spoony and Noah have to say about this movie. I evidently went and saw the midnight premiere with a friend of mine and at the time, I truthfully did not mind it all and accepted it as a decent remake or whatever the eff it is. But looking back on it, I realize that the CGI was crap and just way too obvious, the characters were poorly developed, it did not perceive the atmosphere it should have or the tension and the shroud of darkness, and in generally, just lacked every bit of what John Carpenter’s The Thing had that I loved. When comparing the two movies, you literally just shouldn’t because all you are going to notice is that nothing will be as good as John Carpenter’s and they just killed themselves thinking they could make a worthy remake/prequel thing. This movie should have been a direct to dvd release or on the Scifi channel with all of their horrible movies.

https://www.facebook.com/thethingmovieI have voiced my opinion on the link above…and had my posts deleted. I did not like this one at all. I just don’t see how anyone could this movie to be could….I really hate stupid people. I also tried posting Spoony and The Cimena Snob’s review there too. Completely ignored and deleted.

Oreo must be a THING! But seriously Spoony, train Oreo, just think of the results like him not biting your finger and not running around the house dominating the place.

Right away i have a problem with this flic because they find this spaceship” I assumed he was going to point out the science behind how that isn’t going to happen but instead he goes into retard mode about how hurr durr merrikuns wudnt talk to non murrikuns , murrikuns only talk to murrikuns . dis movie be shit cause if murrikuns dont talk to anyone else den dat be da way it should be.

fucking retards in your shitty clerks shirt why don’t you get the fuck off the internet with your imbecilic brainfarts, christ if you were 16 I could maybe understand the shirt, but fucking late 30′s, jesus christ , go out and get some pussy before its too late permavirgins

I actually want to see the directors cut of this movie if it’s ever released. I saw the movie and I feel there are a couple of parts that were actually left out (ie, an explanation for the flamethrower, or even when they went to go get the guy with it). I think maybe the studio less than the producers were the ones at fault here….

Basically what you’re saying is it’s not Carpnter’s movie. Noted. I’m only going to defend the creature because everything else I primarily agree with. Its not that good of movie. I enjoyed just the creature sure its effects stood out like a sore thumb and I would have wanted to more practical effects.

Basically this Thing is cocky there is a large micro-colony of Thing so it can risk exposure because it can infect many people at once WHICH IT DID. At the end the only Thing left was able to imitate a dog, so in John’s Carpenter’s the Thing had to be subtle in order to get its way.

As for the ship, in John Carpenter’s Thing its established that a slow infection can be stopped by killing the host through extreme measures (like extreme cold or heat). So what if the space ship’s pilot wasn’t the Thing but rather some random alien who was being infected. Logically it crashed on earth and let itself freeze to death to stop the Thing.

Other than that I’m agreeing with you on the flaws. It is a very generic film but I did like the creature even though the effects were pretty bad. I probably won’t be seeing this again and just enjoy John Carpenter’s Thing.

Yeah, I was done with this movie as soon as I saw the trailer. And listening to your review it seems that they really discarded everything that made the original stand out. It all just seems pointless, really. Wait, did you mention the music at all? It had a big role in the original, along with the lighting.
And I dont find the dog distracting… It just kinda makes me smile to se it get on with the chewing and the jumping. I can still focus on the review just fine.

What, flamethrowers aren’t good enough heating devices for you, Spoony?
J/k.

oh no kurt russel movies are on the george lucas list

I’d have to disagree with spoony and his bro on this one. In john carpenter’s version they were totally in the dark about any alien or space ship so it was easy ta build up the mystery. In this version they have the alien in a block of ice at there base so theres never any dought whats going on or whats the cause. The alien in this version does try to clean its tracks and get the people supecting other people. They said that the creature takes to long to change form but in john carpenter’s version the part were there getting the test done and the dude on the end slowly begins to change, also the frist time in that version when the thing attacks the dogs it makes nosie (so much so that it was caught in the process). You cant compain about the flame thrower’s in this version but except them in john carpenter’s one. As for not going into the ship all the weeks they knew about it…the alien knew how ta get in…they did not. The ship coulda still been working but as the alien went out to expore it got lost and froze (tho fair enough its just me guessing and i cant back that up…its just what i asumed). I had no problem with the CG tho i agree some shading and darkness coulda been used. And hes right that this movie was’nt necessary. Tho personally i found it a welcomed movie and i enjoyed seeing what happened at the other base. I think that spoony and his bro might be being abit harsh on this movie cause of there love for the  john carpenter’s version. No disrepect spoony i guess we just have two different views on this one

I just have to say that after watching this movie I went back and watched the original and the dog in the begining of the original movie is a better actor than any of the people in this latest prequel…
100% With Spoony on this one – This movie is an insult to the original materpiece!!

You two oughta make your own Thing movie. I don’t know why but Miles just reminds me of McCready like this is what he’d do when he’s not in antartica or fighting the thing. You Noah on the other hand remind me of Palmer everything you say in this video can be summed up in one simple phrase “You gotta be fucking kidding!”

The flamethrower discussion remind me of my friend commenting that in the intergasion scene, we saw one flamethrower, cut to only seeing only the american lady, switch back to the whole room and boom second flamethrower out of nowhere

As I said on his blip channel, it’s horrible.

Spoony was too easy on it, it fails on absolutely every imaginable level.

It has one good scene which makes up about 1/30th of the film.
The other 29 parts are piss terrible.
The dialogue is incredibly forced and the plot holes are gigantic.

GG

I just watched this movie for the first time and. . . I think it’s pretty good actually. But maybe I see it in a different light than if I’d seen it before Sfdebris’s review of the 1982 Thing.

Think of it this way, the thing just got free. It doesn’t know where it is or who it’s dealing with. These puny little men think they can stand up to me? Hell no, I’ll kill ‘em and eat ‘em! Oh shit they’ve got flamethro-

The thing underestimated us, it tried all out war in the Norway camp. When it got to the American camp, it decided to change tactics. Time to play the long game, pick them off one by one, turn them against each other. I’ll get ‘em this time and- Oh shit! They’ve got Kurt Rus-

Lol. (The flying saucer I have absolutely no explanation for. Maybe the engine had overheated when it originally crashed.)