Hahaha oh my God why did you guys keep going back to that Pizza place!? So wrong and yet so funny. You’re a bad man, Spoony! XD

That was horrible. You were a bad, bad man.

It would’ve been nastier if you came out shouting “pizza time!”…

disgusting, but funny as hell.

These stories are purest win and your narration is the golden icing on the diamond cake.
Keep ‘em up mate

More counter monkey please !

- imagine the additive in that pizza that kept it from degrading, pure junk food.

.

To quote Nightmare:

“Ooooh nasty…”

Even if the pizza was covered in a protective film, I’d have still burnt it and sent it to hell.

None the less an awesome story. Though I’ve never been much of a D&D fan (I do occasionally play board games with my friends) I do find these stories facinating, especally when they give me something to listen to at work. Looking forward to the next one.

Reminds me of the time my friend’s girlfriend tricked me and another guy into eating chocolate covered dog food.  I wasn’t too pleased but I can take a joke.  I think he broke up with her shortly after that.

I’m actually reading Sherlock Holmes stuff right now, and this intriguing. I don’t think it’s probable that the Pizza was taken into the bathroom by someone other than the owner.
Because if someone else wants to get rid of it, why not just throw it into the garbage, or eat it around the corner.
But then: Aside from the disgusting location where it has been placed so that the owner could take a shit; would you really forget a whole pizza ? and not even get it once you’ve remembered ?
So I would assume the pizza got into the bathroom in the owners hand, but it wasn’t the same person who placed it in such a location.
Now, this depends on how the bathroom was actually designed, but thinking of school bathrooms, your sink comment could actually be true: The owner placed it on the sink, goes into the stall, someone else comes in / or comes from another stall, sees it, and hides it in another stall at the given location. And the owner never found it. Not sure if the toilet even had stalls. But then the location and also the angle would make sense – since this person doesn’t care.

Btw that diarrhea on walls and ceiling, I know that from a school I have been at. And yea I always wondered how it is even physically possible to do that – let alone the fact, no matter what kind of savage you are, you don’t wanna hit yourself. Just makes no sense.
Maybe it was chocolate milk =/

Totally reminds me of a story my dad told me about when he was in college. They had this guy who would always mooch food off of them whenever he could, without paying for it. And it got really annoying for my dad and his room mate. One day, they found a Twinkie behind their refrigerator. The expiration date was 3 years prior. So they decide to keep it for the next time their “friend” came over to mooch. So they just leave it on the counter. When the guy comes over the next day, he asked to have it, and my father and his room mate (who both have fairly good poker faces) told him it was fine. (No warning that it was waaay too old to be eaten) So the guy goes to bite into it, and it’s pretty hard to chew, and he actually swallowed it and got sick almost immediately. Needless to say, he never mooched off of my dad again.

Another great counter monkeys entry spoony, keep em coming XD. By the way that act was awesome, you shouldn’t feel too horrible XD. you did warn him haha

I know just what you mean. On my job, in the womens room, there were many times just gulash all over the walls, the ceiling and floor, and I don’t mean meaty gulash soup, oh no, it was poop, yeah.
It’s like some people just turn incapable of civilized manners, and don’t get me wrong here, but the room for handicapped people was practically like heaven in comparison, and I mean it was clean.
But the other toilets, especially the womens room, was such a drag it’s insane.

I mean, how hard is it to sit down and do it?
People had to be like standing upside down, I mean god, is that even possible?
It’s unimaginable to most, but really, it is FACT, and I mean real FACT.
And get it, this was a restaurant, a restaurant with maybe not the best of reputations, but it was respectable, with many people coming there all the time, wtf?

Anyway, the toilet pizza thing was funny though, but it really was evil :p

Have a nice day!

PS: I’d probably would’ve done the same with one of those ill-mannered customers, maybe not a month old because that would probably get me convicted, but maybe just two days or so :P

Come on spoony i thought you played rpgs every rpg player knows that there is always something behind the toilet.

The Spoony Bard
And the Mystery of the Toilet Pizza

Way to ruin both eating pizza and going to the toilet for the rest of my live. But I have to admit that almost giving someone a Glasgow grin with a piece of fossilized horror-pizza sound like something the Joker would do.

Pokeymahnz

nearly died laughing twice, and i feel like a funny shirt could be made from this, keep doin what you’re doin Spoony

Great story!
Keep these Counter Monkey stories coming they are so funny.

You cant die from eating old pizza. You may get some diarrhea or some stomach ache followed by puke, but if your body is more or less healthy and resilient it will throw out the diseased food.

Grease is the best conservative although I’ve never seen real pizza live that long it must have been 70% grease.

Keep up the good work Spoony

You know what, if that’s the worse thing you’ve ever done, you’re probably an ok dude.

About twenty minutes in and your horns started showing. XD
Honestly though? That was a great prank. Looked totally normal, nobody was suspicious at first, and it all played out like planned. Sure, it might’ve not been good health-wise, but at least you got your chuckles.

My Grandpa actually told me a story about the bathroom he cleans… and cleans the womens bathroom no less. It is much like your story. Only nothing on the ceiling. But he did say there was…horror upon the walls and floor. He was away for a week…and that bathroom he said was so DIRTY you can see where the little kids had come in and went to the bathroom and walked out of. Him and I theorized that the girls that work there hold it in for so long that when they actually go its like an explosion. This is why I shall never go to the bathroom in that place EVER.

I would love to see Catholic Spoony in the confessional booth.

“Dear father, please forgive me for I have sinned. Y’see…. there was this Pizza in the bathroom….”

I bet Spoony is tired of hearing this from his fans but I can’t keep this in my mind any longer.

Don’t you guys miss his game reviews?  It’s been more than 3 month since his real game review has uploaded.  Sometimes I feel like he is teasing us with these unedited videos, or being really lazy.  Well maybe he isn’t being lazy since he sounds like a workaholic person.  Maybe this is his own way to keep his show fresh, but I have no choice but to feel like this.   

Here is my top 10 list of most anticipated Spoony Experiment of this year. 

10. Ultima Savage Empire review

9. Ultima Martian Dreams review

8. Next episode of Final Fantasy 10-2 review

7. Ultima 8 review 

6. Final Fantasy 13-2 review

5. Cross over review of Silent Hill comic with Linkara (I don’t know for sure, but it is hinted at his SH comic review.  I know its not a game review but I was so desperate to finish this list)

4. Final Fantasy 13 review

3. Minority Report review

2. Ultima 9 review

1. Next Let’s Play of Deadly Premonition

They’ve all been funny so far, but this had my sides hurting.

…you terrible, terrible bastard…

Ok, I will attempt to come up with a logical reason that the pizza was put behind the toilet.

Say there was a socially akward gamer (there had to be at least one at that store), and he wanted some pizza he did not pay for, but did not want to bother asking for it. He steals an entire pizza and takes it in the bathroom where he plans to eat it without anyone seeing him. Someone then walks into the bathroom or calls his cell or something and the pizza-stealing gamer either becomes scared or embarassed and abandons his plan of pizza-eating, putting the entire pizza behind the toilet hoping that no one would suspect he stole an entire pizza for himself.

Hey, you have to admit it’s a little better than what’s in the video, lol. Btw, good story Spoony, would love to hear more of these.

Smiling Jack reminds me of Vampire: The Masquerade’s Smiling jack.

I’m loving this series of stories but seriously Spoony, Shit stories? I was eating dinner man!!

I remember the time I “Hot and Stinkied” someone in one of my classes.  There was this kid I didn’t like cuz he was kind of a…. how do I put this nicely?…. a giant douche.  So I had some hot tamales I’d got at lunch, you know, the candy.  And it’s like the second to last hour of the day, and while I didn’t do anything strenuous and I shower regularly, use deoderant, etc. – at this point I’m sure I had a little funk going on with my junk (trust me, this is important). 

 So I’m down to like six or seven pieces left, and it occurs to me that this kid probably likes candy.  I mean, who doesn’t like candy?  So if I gave them to him he’d eat them of course.  I’ve got like five minutes before class starts so I run to the bathroom, find a stall, and I cup them all in one hand before i proceeded to vigorously (yes, that’s right, VIGOROUS.  If you’re doing something like this, you have to do it right) rub them all over every part of my undercarriage – balls, taint, dick, you name it, these hot Tamales touched it.  I drop them back into the box, wash my hands (like I said, I do have above average personal hygiene.  It’s other people’s i don’t care about messing with) before practically skipping back to the classroom. 

 By that point, my friend is there so I walk over and tell him to pay attention.  As douche-boy walks in, I hand the box of tamales over and say something like, “Here dude, you seem like a cool guy and I don’t want the rest of these.”  So he’s kind of surprised and perhaps a teensy bit leery, not sure what to make of this.  I walk back over to my buddy, who has no idea why I did this, and i’m a little worried my prey won’t take the bait.  But he sits down and pours them into his hand, actually holds them up to his nose and SMELLS them, before popping one into his mouth.  He chews it pensively, as if I may have hidden a razor in it or something, before going at the rest with more gusto.  I had a pretty good poker face, so about the only thing that could give me away is the sly grin on my face.  Inside, though, I’m screaming in agony it’s so hilarious.  But I hold it in, knowing if I do this right, it will pay off even better.  So I watch him eat every single one, each time bringing on a fit of psychotic laughter more powerful than the last, which miraculously I’m able to hold in.

When he’s done, he looks over at me and is like, “Thanks bro.” (He was doing some kind of moronic hipster thing where he’d say “bro” to be ironic.  In my eyes it made him deserve it more).  ”You’re welcome.”  I look over at my buddy, who is still confused as to what amused me so much about douche boy eating Hot Tamales.  I turn, look him dead in the eye, and somehow manage to say in a calm, quiet voice, with just that coy knowing smile, “I rubbed those on my balls.”  The aftermath was worth the effort, as the look on my buddy’s face, who I’m pretty sure hated this kid more than I did, as he watched the whole scene again in his head but now with the secret knowledge revealed to him, was priceless.  The two second delay before he burst into tears laughing put me over the edge.  I couldn’t manage to string two syllables together that’s how hard I was laughing.  Only three or four times in my life have I gotten side aches from laughing, and this went on for a good four or five minutes.  

It took a couple minutes of us pointing and laughing for the kid to get the hint that something was up.  He asked what the hell was so funny.  We couldn’t answer him.  Oh, don’t get me wrong – it’s not like we felt guilty about fucking with the biggest douchebag in the school.  No, we wanted to tell him, but between the two of us we couldn’t get the words out from all the laughter.  Finally, I was able to force myself to blurt out (at a decibel level that would have gotten us detentions just from the volume of what I was saying, let alone the penalties for what I was admitting to had a teacher actually been present) “Dude, those things were on my nuts!”  And the look on HIS face almost killed me and my buddy.  To this day we call it the Hot and Stinky.

True story.

So that pizza was so fucking bad that it was inmune to the combined digestive bacteria of a whole store of gamers for a month, and you ate that shit regulary. You are either inmortal or put wolverine regeneration to shame.

My theory on that pizza is close to your “stealing” theory, except I think it was stolen, but stashed in the bathroom in order to be smuggled out later. My guess is that either they forgot or couldn’t find a window of opportunity.

This sounds worse than my two friends lending my younger brother a bed, just after another friend and his girlfriend had “used” said bed… XD

Not the as entertaining as the other 2 episodes, but still good.

I like the bit about the dust falling out of his mouth. Reminds me of when I bet my brother he could not chug a big pixie stick. He got about half way before sprinting outside and ‘coughing’ up dry powder and scraping pink chunks off his tongue on to the lawn.

Reminds me of my old job.
The toilets were backed up so I barricaded (and put up out of order signs) the god damn entrance to the hall. I tell the boss that we need to lock the bathroom door because people are dicks. He says “no” so I instead go to bathroom hall to put up even more Out of Order sign, and right there I see a guy sliding my barricaded over and then asking me of the toilets are good.

I have a high tolerance for gross stuff and didn’t want to have the other minions (especially the squeamish girls, ya know, be nice your co-workers) clean up the (literal) crap that was spewing because the sewage pipe behind the store so I volunteered. I used a broom and a long dustbin to pick it up. After about an hour I threw the feces and the broom/dustbin in the dumpster. No big deal, at least for me. Next day: go to work, do my shift, clock out, walk out the door. See my boss sweeping the outside WITH THE EXACT SAME BROOM AND DUSTBIN. I lunge over and grab it straight out of his hand and order him to go wash his hands. He is not happy with me giving him orders and working off the clock (against union/government labor rules) but I tell him to shut up and what I did the day before. He instantly did as I said. I take the stuff dumpster in the back and look through it, and sure enough, everything BUT the broom/dustbin from the day before is there, so I knew for sure it was the same set. Someone had rummaged through the dumpster to get the broom/dustbin out and brought it back in the store.
   
Another time a different boss tells me to go clean the bathroom. So I go and everything is clean, except is smells bad. Go back to my boss and tell him everything is fine, but that “someone recently took a dump”. Boss is flustered, looks at all the customers withing earshot, thinks for a few seconds and then tells me to check behind the trash bin in the restroom. Seems stupid but I do it and learn that the reason the place smelled bad was because (surprise bitch) someone had smeared shit on the wall behind the trash bin.

Well I must say if that is the worst thing you have ever done to someone then you are a pretty nice guy.  And i feel your pain on cleaning toilets, I work at a grocery story and have seen true hell come forth from what people do to toilets, animals in a zoo couldn’t do the things that people do in bathrooms.

Worked as a housekeeper for a local college for a time, so I too feel the pain of cleaning up someone’s soul. What kills me is that the worst of it came not from the students but from the highest echelons of the college staff. Oh yea, we’ve had chocolate dragons in the urinals of the mighty. 

This is also why it pays to have a cook or three in your gaming group, folks! We long ditched the nasty ass Pizza Plus and worse for old fashioned mac n cheese, country ribs, hawaiian hamburgers, fish tacos, and even at one decadent session, DUCK. We are far healthier for it. 

Add: Also, having a fully stocked bar and a member of the group with a bartender’s education is nice too. Mmm, pan galactic gargleblasters…

Spoony if you could…can you comment in a vlog or something this game release?

I was like OH HELL NO

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/debut-trailer-deadliest-warrior/723105

this stories are hilarious …. so MORE :)

More Counter monkey V-Logs please….your v-logs about movies are allways fun, but these made me piss myself with laugter(maybe cuz I am dnd/shadowrun/vampire the masquarade/mordheim nerd myself and these stories emind my of my own Counter Monkey tales)!!!

love that you started uploading V-logs again (they are far better than your rewievs if you ask me)

Pac a pusu
Hrochátor

I would strongly suggest you pursue your dream of actually making a movie and selling it on DVD.  We know about your Creatures and Caverns idea, but I also remember you mentioning an idea of having a Clerks-style movie about working in a Gaming Store.  I would seriously go for the latter.  Stories like these HAVE to be acted out on camera.  I already bought the other Channel Awesome and Snob movies, I’d buy something from you in a heartbeat!

so many people like you, Spoony, and they all want to see you sit on your couch with a human-female-spoony-princess, smiles everywhere, nirvana

My explanation of how the pizza got behind the toilet.

     I will go with the first idea set of “the man bought the pizza with his own money”.  So he buys this pizza, and being the greedy, paranoid person that he is(which he has every right to be, I dont want people stealing my “hard earned” pizza) and also needing to go to the bathroom, he decides to bring it with him.  He almost places it on the sink, when his paranoia kicks in and he gets the amazing idea that someone would walts in while he is on the crapper and decide to steal a slice, or ,better yet, steal the whole.  To him, the best mode of action at this point would be to bring the pizza with him into the stall.  Once he was inside and sitting down, he finds out that keeping it on his lap would be discomforting, as well as just stupid.  He decides to place behind the toilet, that way it can be kept safe, wouldnt be the hardest thing to reach when he does decide to leave, and it wouldnt be encroaching into other stalls.  He gets up,leaves the bathroom (most likely forgetting to wash his hands and not flushing), goes back to talking with the rest of them, and going on with whatever he was doing before the initia trip to the bathroom.  But the poor paranoid man completely forgot the horrible, greasy, and disgusting pizza, and left it behind.  And the pizza sat within the bathroom, waiting for a new master to come forth and claim him, sealing itself to be forever perserved. 

     As a side note, I believe the pizza was stuck in that perfect circle(guessing it was a circle) in the middle of the pizza box, because the grease on it was so horrid, that, like the incidents with the paper plates and the table, it became an adhesive and glued the pizza and the box together.  This of course was done before the bathroom incident, so this means the man was most likely keeping the pizza for later, or just never had enough time, due to uncordination or what have you, to actually take a piece out.  There could ,of course, be other explanations to what happened, but I can not think of any that are more realistic at this moment.

Am I the only one that thinks “mud monkey” sounds like a racial slur?

Ew. Just eeeeew

My brother and I discussed the circumstances of the Toilet Pizza and how it came to be a Toilet Pizza for a good hour or so. For awhile we were totally stumped but eventually we puzzled out what we believe is a plausible scenario for how the Toilet Pizza came to be.

Imagine if you will you’re in the middle of a D&D campaign with a bunch of friends at a game shop. You start getting hungry and ask around the table to see whose interested in chipping in for pizza. After taking donations a pizza is ordered and acquired, but being gamers and the campaign being in full swing everyone is too caught up in the game to stop and eat.

Hours later the session is over and people are getting up to leave when suddenly “Oh shit that’s right we had a pizza!” So you ask around. “Does anyone still want this pizza?” but by now it’s late, everyone’s tired and wants to go home and relax. Nobody wants to stay and eat the pizza. So now the question is thrown out “Well, does anyone want to take it home? It’s a full pizza?”.

However nobody really wants to commit. People are already heading out the door and you’re the last one left with this pizza. You’re a teenager, you have no car, you have to walk home. You don’t want to carry the pizza. The store is closing so you can’t stay and eat the pizza. So what do you do? “Well I guess I’ll throw it away…”

So now you take the pizza to the bathroom to dispose of it. However it’s a full-sized pizza. It won’t fit in the trash can, and what do most lazy slobs do when something won’t fit in the bathroom trash can? Right, they shove it behind the toilet. “Whoever cleans the place will find it and throw it away.” and then you leave.

however, the poor bastard who cleans the bathroom (In this case Spoony) never thinks to look behind the toilet and thus your pizza remains there for a month and a half, and thus the Toilet Pizza is born. This may not be how it happened, but that’s the theory we came up with. I thought i’d share it with you guys and see if you think it sounds plausible.

Hah! “Counter Monkeys” rings of nostalgia for me… Back in the 90s I managed the first local computer games shop “Joysoft” (c64 days – early playstation 2 days) and right on the other side of the road was the first local roleplaying games shop “Fantasywelt” (both shops don’t exist any more, so it’s not advertising ^^). Needless to say, that our experiences actually were quite like some of the stories that you are telling. :) I guess us geeks are the same all over the world… :)

Greetings from Germany!

One last post: watch the new 80′s Dan video about “Halloween III”. Guess who Brad got for a skit at the end of his video?

The Chicago Ghostbusters. Oh yeah, they’re fine blowing off Noah Antwiler’s highly anticipated finale of a popular multi-video review, after PROMISING TO SHOW UP! But an unhyped, single video review? Count the Ghostbusters in.

This isn’t even really a Cinema Snob review, it’s an 80′s Dan review. I don’t have anything against the quality of the 80′s Dan reviews, but most of his fans identify Brad as the Cinema Snob because the Snob reviews are his most prolific and popular videos. 80′s Dan is relatively obscure in comparison, so why are the Ghostbusters wasting their time with a video people are less likely to watch?

They probably have their reasons (Brad mentioned something about them moving to the Midwest), but I bet Noah is just PISSED by this. Maybe I’m wrong in my speculations, but I’d like to see Spoony chew out those assholes.

Spoony: “Yeah, NOW they take TGWTG seriously. Assholes. They call themselves Ghostbusters, I wouldn’t pay them to bust the dust bunnies under my couch.”
——————————————>
EDIT: Spoony contacted the ARIZONA Ghostbusters to help him, not the CHICAGO Ghostbusters. Sorry, my bad.

You know what, this post is so funny I’m just gonna leave this post up. The quip at the end really does sound like something that Noah would say.

Somewhere someone is going man that’s what I did with my pizza.

There was actually a time when I couldn’t physically eat or drink because I was in danger of flailing it all over myself when watching because I was almost pissing myself with laugher.

this is my third viewing as well….

You’re awesomeness personified Spoony

Unable to play this episode?

COUNTER SONG!
FUCKING COUNTER SONG!

The comic/card/gameshop shop I go to play MTG at; has a worker that is OCD about keeping the place clean…well we have this one guy, a 350lbs man who smells and is infected with something that puts spots all over his skin and his hair is full of white crap. He somehow infected the ocd worker with a staff infection that he went to the ER for. After that he now bleach bombs the store and floors to keep it more ‘germ free.’ he has not banned the guy from the store due him spending so much on cards and the likes ( at least 400 a month) Needless to say we all don’t touch his hand for a good game shake or anything. We make jokes at his expanse on warhammer days. Never seen that bathroom have pizza in it though.

mud monkey!
hahaha! i could listen to spoony all day.

Great episode Spoony, and sorry about your sink. I was on PCP, and I thought I was in Japan with all the cartoony characters and strange games around. I thought it was one of their modified toilets, and I had to go really bad.

In all seriousness though, let this be a lesson. If you do bad things to your friends, you may one day have your own web show where you repeat the story and be a smashing success.

dude that’s something you do to someone you hate daamn!
So I think I have an explanation someone was sneaking food( I am just as guilty *sigh*)
I think maybe the guy who hid it was probably was on a strict diet from a lover to lose weight or lower cholesterol or whatever, so ever once in while he probably sneak food in places other than home. So he went to bathroom eat Pizza and I think he answered the phone and put the pizza behind the toilet to talk on his cell phone just in case his lover was calling( or his pager beeped don’t how old the story is) . So something about that call made he totally forget the pizza was there and he left as soon as possible. that’s my theory .