So… Thor and that crosseyed chick from Twilight, right?

What’s with the russian poster in the back?

Gary Oldman

Wasn’t the original definition of “fair” supposed to be pale? If that’s so, Miss Stewart wins in a walk…

People have personal prefrences, it’s a fact of life :).
In all honesty, Kiristen stuart alone is the main reason I really really don’t ever want to see this movie. Yes, I’m one of the many that hate twilight (Though as somebody who used to be on the other side of the fence, I have more to talk about) but I just can’t see anything else when I look at Kirsten Stuart. I don’t blame my bias, I blame the fact that she doesn’t portray any other characture when she acts.
Anyhoo, nice to know that the movie had other things going for it.

For why Snow White was not killed, I kind of think it’s because the Mirror only mentions that Snow White will become the fairest of them all and surpass the Queen when she became of age. At least that what I got out of it.

Ha! The joke is on you! It was actually one guy cleverly shot as if he were a hundred men!

Spoony, if it makes you feel any better, both myself and my wife have said the same thing.  Namely, that Kirsten Stewart < Charlize Theron.  And neither of us feel bad or like pigs at all for thinking that because it's harsh, but the truth. 

The mirror obviously likes plain Janes more than drop dead gorgeous babes.
 

Since when did a movie with a 170 million dollar budget become a low budget movie?

Yeah, I was confused as to why Kristen Stewart was cast. Honestly, off the top of my head, I can think of a couple actresses who are WAY hotter and can act so much better. Zooey Deschanel would’ve been pretty good (or at least better than Stewart), but I mainly think of Alison Brie from Community/Mad Men. On Community, they even joke about how she uses her big Disney princess blue eyes to get what she wants. Unfortunately, I think the casting director went more with name recognition (for all those twi-hard preteens) rather than actual quality.

I know I’m going to get flamed over this, but I find Kristen Stewart hot. Sure she can’t act but I think she’s better loking than most of the fake boobed, makeup covered actresses of today. Comparing here to Charlize Theron is kinda silly considering that Charlize has like 15 years on her. Maybe she will turn out to be the sort of person who looks better as she ages.

tommy wisou is a better actor then kristen stewart

I’m actually really wanting to see this movie despite what other’s say about it. I love Grimm’s fairy tales and the movie just looks really good. 
Spoony’s “pig” comments, completely agree. Kristen Stewart is not pretty, she’s a horrible actress, she should not be allowed to act. It’s true. Whatever she’s doing she seems constipated and in pain.
As for sticking to the original story, the Evil Queen is never given a reason for her vain nature, she’s just that way. Snow White is supposed to be the daughter of the King that the Evil Queen marries. Don’t know if that’s what happened in the film, would like to find out. Great job Spoony.

I was kind of interested in this when I saw the trailer before The Avengers, but when I saw that dullard’s face and empty, dead eyes I literally cried out in the theater. Of all people, why her? Sure, Twilight has plenty of fans, but even then they’re split on whether Kristen Stewart can act at all. For non-fans of Twilight, just the fact that she is Bella earned her unending scorn.

And Spoony, calling her a bad actress doesn’t make you a pig. Just because she’s a chick doesn’t mean you have to praise her acting or her appearance. And, it’s really important considering the entire premise of Snow White: She isn’t pretty enough. She’s not hideous looking, but I can’t buy her as the prettiest woman in the entire land, unless it’s a particularly ugly kingdom. If this were any other movie, her not being the hottest girl wouldn’t be an issue, but the entire point of Snow White is that she is supposed to be notably more attractive than any other women around her.

Don’t worry Spoony, you’re not being a pig. You’re just saying your opinion on the role, nothing wrong with that. :) I actually totally agree with you. Snow White is supposed to be the most attractive woman in the land, but Kristen Stewart ain’t it. She was just mainly cast to get some Twilight fans to see the film. (Or at least that’s what I believe.) I didn’t enjoy her in the film either, although I did think she did a slightly better job in this film than in the Twilight movies. Still, they could have gotten someone much better and attractive for the role.

I personally didn’t like the film very much, although that might be because I actually was nitpicking a lot. ^^; I guess since this was supposed to be a gritty version of Snow White I was expecting a lot more things to be explained rather than just having to except it. Or maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood to watch it? I went in the theater feeling 50/50 about it though…I don’t know. I just didn’t find myself enjoying it that much. I did really like the cinematography and CGI, but there was a lot of other things that just bugged me. Mainly Kristen Stewart as Snow White and the lack of motivation from the queen. I know she doesn’t have much motivation in the original fairy tale either, but they did try to give her something in the flashback, but it wasn’t a very good motivation.

I think I may have gone to this film being a little too nitpicky. I almost want to rewatch it now with a more open mind…but I might just nitpick too much again, I don’t know. XD Anyway, great review as always! The points you made were very good, and I could totally see other people liking this. Actually, I went to see this with my parents, and they loved it. Maybe once this movie becomes available for rent I’ll give it a second chance. :)

Honestly, those comments didn’t make you seem like a pig at all to me. Physical beauty is generally objective, and can therefore be defined, unless some kind of kink is added into the mix. We are hard wired to be drawn to certain aspects of women, fair skin, clean hair, shapely legs, ample breasts, and, most subtly, facial structure. Perhaps appreciating such things based on animal instinct is the equivalent of running around naked and throwing our own dung, but there it is.

Now, about Bella being supposedly beautiful, there is a bit of an issue with that. I actually read the first book, purely so that I could hate the series objectively (I wanted to know if it really deserved its reputation; it does). Stewart basically fits the description of Bella, and here’s why. Bella is an insertion of Meyer. She basically describes herself as a teenager, completely unremarkable. The thing is, Meyer FAILS as an author. She FAILS. She FAILS so hard it hurts me mentally. She basically doesn’t know how to make something sound appealing, other than to simply tell you that it is appealing. I mean, look up above, I put more effort into it that she did. Instead of eyes of sapphire, bronze hair, and a body sculpted by the God of the purest white marble in all the the Earth, she would simply say, “beautiful,” … several times.

     Saw this today with my daughter who’s a teenager this is targeted at and we both meh’d at this.  I wouldn’t stay Kristen Stewart is a plain looking gal, she’s pretty attractive IMHO, but it’s true she can not act.  She tried to pull off the unselfish, gracious goody two-shoes, but I just couldn’t separate her from the bitchy, stuck-up cow she is in reality.  She also does this look all the time that supposed to relay anger or fear, but instead she just looks like she’s getting annoyed by smelling something bad.

     Also, the name of the movie is “Snow White and the Huntsman”, but actually little happens between the two.  The only thing that happens is Hunty gets a little need for some necrophilia and gives day old dead Bella a speech and a snoog.  There’s a hint of some sort of affection, but instead of going the tragic Roman Holiday route or the ambiguous My Fair Lady way or the typical happily forever ever spiel, we get nothing but a shared look with about a football field between them.  That’s it.

    If I were you, I’d pass on this one.  Maybe give the big budget version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears a try…?  We’ll see.  Oh, if you’re out there Spoony, you MUST do a vlog review of the far better (here’s hoping) movie starring Charlize coming out next week - PROMETHEUS! 

 Someone tried to make a point where, because beauty is so subjective, Kristen Stewart would’ve been perceived as “fairer” than Charlize in Europe at that time period. It’s a weak argument but good enough to suspense disbelief for me. She’s bad as an actress, of course, but the prettier part is debatable.

wtf “too busy doing reviews?”
THEN WERE ARE THOSE?! o_0

I’d have liked to see Emily Browning as Snow White tbh…think i read somewhere that she turned down the chance to audition for the Bella Swan role, coincidentally. But yeah… KS as Snow White…..I dont get that casting choice at all.

The Kristen Stewart thing is kind of true but I’ve found that in most adaptations the queen has been hotter than Snow White. The only one I didn’t feel that way in was Mirror Mirror (Which blew by the way). In this movie didn’t they also say she was destined to become fairest not that she was at that point?

Spoony, you are not a “pig” for stating the truth about Kristen Stewart. From the moment I saw the trailer, my immediate reaction was “Seriously?? In what reality is Kristen Stewart EVER going to be anywhere near as gorgeous as Charlize Theron?!”

I’m right there with ya.

Kristen was probably just a popular teen girl actress to get.  They are going for the Twilight crowd why wouldn’t they cheer for Bella again?

Also on Kristin Stewarts hotness. I’ll admit I think she has a girl next door kind of vibe when she isn’t in Twilight in that she has a crazy sociopath vibe. And keep in mind that beauty is subjective so it the optimal actress will be different for everyone. The consensus does seem to be that she isn’t hot though. I think the biggest reason she was chosen for the role was because she is one of the palest women in Hollywood. Because in the fairytale Snow White has skin white as snow and hair black as night, not much else is said about her.

Jeez Spoony, you don’t need to apologize for saying that Kristen Stewart isn’t as hot as Charlize Theron.  Anybody who would get upset at you for it is simply WAY too oversensitive and needs to learn to deal with the fact that ALL people everywhere do, in fact, take physical appearance into account.  You don’t find her particularly attractive – that’s not something to be ashamed of and it certainly doesn’t make you a pig.

Now as for me personally, I’ll go ahead and disagree with you (somewhat).  I find Stewart moderately attractive.  She’s above average and I certainly wouldn’t turn her away if I had the chance.  However, she’s nowhere near a perfect 10 out of 10.  And, let’s face facts, she’s simply not as hot as Charlize Theron.

Her acting though – you’re spot fucking on on that account!

Personally, I wouldn’t say that the fact that Kristen Stewart is in no way, shape or form “fairest of them all” material (I’m not saying she’s unattractive, but she’s just “girl next door” late-teenage cute, not beautiful) actually breaks the story or anything, but I can definitely understand that it weakens it. Honestly, in many of the versions I find the Queen looks hotter than Snow White (I chalk it up to different values: Snow White is envisioned as very virginal and pure, but nowadays we prefer sexiness), so it’s not like there isn’t precedent for this. But that, combined with Kristen Stewart’s lack of any kind of emotional range or acting talent (though she is admittedly a bit better here than Twilight, as if that’s a high standard), really was what made me go from “not bad” to “meh” on this movie. I’ll make this clear, BTW: I DON’T hate Kristen Stewart. I think she isn’t cut out for acting, and I absolutely LOATHE both the movies she was in and the character she played, but a paycheck’s a paycheck, and I don’t begrudge actors for being in shit movies, especially not bad actors, since it helps keep them away from the good movies. If Shia Lebouf wants to be in every Michael Bay movie made from now on, good, let him have that and he can stay the hell away from the stuff I’ll actually watch.

 Thanks for the review. Good take on the whole thing. I appreciate how you’re trying to be more of a critic rather than being a dude talking about a film. Or at least balance it in a very interesting way. I like that.

Anyhow, two things I would like to comment on: First – no need to apologize about the Twilight girl not being the fairest of them all. It’s a fact and …well, the story is based on her being the most beautiful thing on earth basically. I can’t see anybody getting worked up about you mentioning that.

Second thing, and that keeps on astounding me: The film has lotsa violence, war and all that and is said to be pretty dark at times but the very short fake-nudie scenes of Charlize Theron is the reason it’s not for kids? This irked me about your review of Trick or Treat (if I remember the name right. It was this kind of Halloween anthology film featuring Sackboy) – A film with a multitude of scenes of murder featuring a hideous monstrosity in the background and the few seconds of skinny dipping or what it was is the reason this is not a kids film? That’s some WEIRD priorities there. Of course that’s not an issue I got with you personally because I think that’s more of a thing of the general US public. Just something that’s really weird to me.

Agreed on every point.  She is NOT hotter. She is average.

I’ve struggled with classifying that kind of movie, too. I guess it’s technically fantasy, though the term conjures up images of wizards and dragons, which isn’t accurate to such a low-magic setting. It’s really just swashbuckling with only a hint of the supernatural.

Oh God, you ARE turning into Loki!! DAT HAIR!

I happen to love your hair spoons, try a pony……arnt ya gonna marry me spoons,gotta give ya credit though,Theres not been to many things I couldnt buy with my being a trust fund baby, but your one of them, makes me need ya more, but Ill settle for the videos..:)

Horrible Hair Noah. Just awful. You look incredibly unmanly.

rewatchting this I had the feeling I was watching selphie tillmitt,sorry spoons but until the flip is gone do a pony

I will disagree with most people here, even though beauty is a major plot point to the fairy tale, I think they were trying to focus on inner beauty rather than physical. Snow White is pure of heart, gentle and noble, while the Queen is morally repulsive. That is my guess of what they were aiming for.

No, Spoony, you’re NOT a pig for saying that.
Neither my sister nor I have seen the Twilight movies, and both of us neither hate nor love Kristen Stewart, but when we saw the ads and trailers for this movie we both went “WTF?”
If you have eyes and a brain that receives visual impulses, Stewart will NEVER win over Theron.
Stewart isn’t ugly, but she’s average. Theron is what beauty doctors try to turn their patients into.
If I were a guy, I would rather date Stewart (she’s the girl next door), but in this movie’s context it just doesn’t work.
She is not fairer than Theron.
So, since we didn’t say that out of jealousy (because if there was somebody to be jealous of, it would be Theron), you are not a pig by stating the bleeding obvious.

I have to chuckle a little at all these “midnight screening” reviews that are being posted. Not for the reviews themselves, but that they show just how many midnight screenings there are. Weren’t movie theaters supposed to have died out 20 years ago?

Hey, don’t worry about being a pig.  Me and my sister both agree that Kristen Stewart is not the fairest of them all.  PS.  Get a haircut you dang hippy!

Lol all the comments again Kristen Stewart in here http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/173/549/Too-ugly-wouldnt-bang.jpg

I love how Chris Hemsworth is just “Thor” through the entire review.  Typecast much? ;)

Yeah… Had most of the same complaints.

Loved the Snow White pumping iron interpretation. Jajaja.

Also, yeah, I’ll be surprised if a still of Charlize Theron doesn’t become a meme eventually. I found that sort of overacting to be Nicolas Cage level.

 My Duckface approves of your views on this movie.

As a bit of an artist they’re very different types. Stewart is very much the girl-next-door and cute look (which seems right considering she’s 22-ish?) whereas Theron is sultry. If I had to judge objectively, yes, Theron is better, but it’s very hard when you’d judging two different types of attractiveness. If you go for more of the sultry type, more power to you! A good comparison for men is like comparing a very built jock and a thin and sleek martial artist type: which is cuter? It’s hard to say because there isn’t a direct comparison; some people will like the broad guy and some will like the slim one.

Also, bear in mind that that the movie would take place when they’re at the same level of fairness: the first day the mirror says Snow White is fairer, Snow White is still maturing and the queen would still be aging. It’s almost more of a future threat.

Dude, I mocked the fuck out of this movie when I watched it, made all kinds of jokes at its expense and picked it apart (and had a lot of fun, actually–the movie entertained me, so I felt it was decent), but the point I stressed the most when talking about it to other people was that no, Kristen Stewart is not hotter than Charlize Theron. You beat yourself up by saying that talking about that makes you sound like a pig, but come on–when a key, stress on that, KEY part of the plot is that one character is more beautiful than another, the actors chosen for those parts need to actually represent it. Kristen Stewart isn’t ugly by any means,  but nor is she “fairer” than Charlize Theron.

Unless by “fair” the mirror actually meant pale-skinned, because Stewart has to be the palest woman in Hollywood right now.

Really enjoyed the review, and also the movie. I went in with no expectations and was pleasantly entertained. Charlize’s acting felt very right for me, as it pretty much made her look like a fairytale cartoon villain – which I guess was what she was going for. Thor is just awesome. Stewart really tried to ruin it for me – she makes the same disgust expression throughout the entire film, even when SHE’S BEING CROWNED. If that’s not something to be happy about, I don’t know what is. I guess she’s saving her smile for the ending of Twilight, because I haven’t seen it so far.

I think the thing about this movie that makes it so watchable is that it is, no shit, pretty smart. Like the way everyone in the entire cast is in no way more beautiful than the evil witch, and that goes even for the male characters (when she’s desguised as the prince you can notice that he looks way better than he’s real counterpart). Subtle, but it serves it’s purpose in the story. Of course they messed up Snowhite (and I thought they were going for an inner beauty kinda story for a moment, but if they did it wasn’t quite there), but you gotta make people see it, and I think Stewart still is a beacon of money. 

Other than that, it is really well shot. The snowy forest looks great, that magical lair of the fairies too (but they were a little creepy, yes), the action is pretty fun and I was happy there weren’t a lot of gags, giving it a more dramatic tone. I didn’t get some of the choices here (the milk bath, the blind dwarf…) and there are some annoying plot holes (the dark forest that is so fucking dangerous but kills no one, the “chosen one” bullcrap), but it’s overall a good movie.  

One funny thing about it is that this is probably the most boy-oriented Snowhite story I’ve ever seen. I guess it’s the action, and the fact that Thor steals the movie whenever he is onscreen, but I thinkg this is a movie I’d happily show to my kid someday, as – like you said -, it does make me remember growing up watching this kind of adventure. 

Spoony, Snow white is a tale of a extremely beauiful woman so technachly beauty matters when it comes to bringing this story to life so you are being completely legit and not pigheaded in the slightest.
As for considering the movie itself, on one hand I’m somewhat of a fan of Chris Hemsworth(Thor) and do enjoy hammy acting… On the other hand I, like spoony, think Kristian Stewart has the acting talent of a piece of blank paper. So I guess I’ll think about it.

From the sound of it it seems like the Queen kept Snow White alive to suck her soul when she was at her most beautiful.