We have not yet begun to be betrayed by Ultima 9. Will Spoony survive? Will the Guardian prevail? Will we ever find out what’s a paladin?
I’m not entirely sure.
“Betrayal” theme song by homjakilla.
“Sorry, this episode may have jut been added to blip.tv and isn’t quite ready to watch yet. Please try again later.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*Sees Noah’s twitter “episode should be online in about two hours” when he wakes up and compares to local time in France* YAAAAAY
*Sees the episode on TSE website* YAAAAY
*Sees “Sorry this episode may have just been added to blip.tv and isn’t quite ready to watch yet. Please try again later, problem ?”* …FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Ah well, patience, I guess….patience.
I’m an oldfag fo this video!
I shalth be a part of it’s history.
I can’t wait until it’s up!
Whoo! More Ultima 9! C’mon Blip… Quit being dumb and load the video already!
Aww yeah, i’ve been impatiently waiting ever since I saw the post on twitter!
My god, it’s here. I literally didn’t know it was here, I was just scrolling through the Ultima Retrospective section and BAM! I can’t wait…
I’m an oldfag. I’ve been here all summer
oh COME ON! hurry the fuck up, Blip! I can’t wait!
F5 F5 F5 F5
arrrgghhhh whyis this no up i dont care about the quality blip
I was about to go to sleep… Then I unwisely came here…
Now I’m stuck refreshing the page… Come on Blip! Play nice!
I’ve got popcorn, and insomnia, who wants some?
Right here! Because I just refreshed the page aaaaand… Guess what? IT’S HERE! *Presses play*
edit: *Presses pause*
What… The fuck… did I just witness?
…. Anyways… *presses play again*
edit 2: *32 minutes later*
Where’s the Concession Stand on this site anyway?
It’s ready! Fun times for everyone! Let the Betrayal begin!
I have to say that I really love this new title card artist. His stuff is a lot more subtle and interesting than a lot of the hokey crap that internet reviewers usually use.
The art is a great change of pace. I do love muddy style art, and it lends way to lots of Dali-esque figures and proportions.
Yeah, the brushstrokes look a bit like ones in the Spoony Experiment logo.
YES! Oh god, yes! Thank you Spoony. Tonight has been really slow for videos.
Spoony, I’m sorry for being such a bad fan. I was a jerk to you on Twitter last month and you didn’t deserve that. I wish the best for you since you are incredibly talented! I shall never “BETRAY” you again!
It took him posting ONE video to change your mind? That was fast.
Instead of the cause for remorse, I think this was more a cause to openly express preexisting remorse.
Fan-fucking-tastic and well worth the wait!!! Awesome job Spoony!!! Hilarious as always!!
As someone who doesn’t play many RPG’s, let alone Ultima, what is a Paladin?
The Goddamn Avatar!!!
All right, I’ll rise to the bait. Can’t tell if you are being serious or not (a combination of written word being a poor conveyor of tone and the fact that I’m a lousy judge anyway), so I’ll answer both seriously for if you are being serious, and humorously, just in case you weren’t.
The Serious answer: A holy knight. Short and simple of it.
The Humorous answer: I’m not entirely sure? But still, your knowledge of the land shall be GREAT!
I can’t help but feel that the end of this episode was about the recent incidents involving your co-workers.
Nevertheless, awesome review so far!
It most definitely was, it was Spoony working his insecurities and troubles into a script with the guardian. I suspected he might do something like this, and I was right. It was some clever writing.
If Spoony wanted to end the Experiment like he almost had to do before, the conclusion to Ultima 9 would be perfect, given the way he’s writing it now and how the game ends…
But then he’d never get to eviscerate Final Fantasy 13, and you know he’s not going to let THAT game go unpunished.
As if it needs to be, lol
I find it odd that there’s so much hatred for XIII; I’ve not finished it yet, but I do like it so far – much better than I have VII, or any other FF game. To date, X and X-2 were the only FF games I found myself actually caring whether I finished or not, and I’m digging XIII’s story and characters so far. I’m not here to bash anyone or anything; to each their own and all that. I just find it very, very odd that the only games I like out of a franchise are the most hated by the actual fans -of- that franchise.
I finished 13 only because my pride refused to allow me to not finish it, if that makes any sense. Started on 8 but grew tired of pretty much everything that Spoony had mentioned, started 10 but just got really bored with it (watched my BF play it instead, so that was enough for me to understand the plot and jokes from Spoony’s review), and 12 was even more boring to me than 10. I think I started it three times, got to the 6 hour mark and just kept dropping it. Was given 13 (not sure why) and as bad as it was, I forced myself to finish it. I regret most of it, but at least it had Sahz. He was enough to pull me through the worst of it.
I’ve got a niece – 17 years old, with a love of all things Japanese and of games with elaborate stories and visuals. Basically a perfect example of Square-Enix’s target demographic these days.
About a year ago she got FF13, played it for a few weeks, really liked Sazh and the baby chocobo, was angry or indifferent to everything else, and gradually lost interest. Now she’ll look at the case sitting by the PS3, apprehensively mutter to herself, “ugh, I still need to finish that,” then ignore it again for another few weeks while buying some other game and enjoying it instead.
I still don’t understand the hatred for X and X-2, though; granted even -I- admit there was no point or reason for that stupid forced laughing scene with Yuna and Tidus, but other than that I can’t find any fault with either game. I liked the overall story we got about Zanarkand, the ancient war, Yu Yevon and all of that, I thought the characters were, in most cases, decently-written, and in others (Auron, Jecht, Kimahri, Yuna) superbly so. I found myself enjoying the lighthearted moments, emotionally moved at the romantic and sad moments….I always thought they did everything right. Now, as for VII, I thought the -story- they tried to tell (what I saw of it; didn’t even finish disc 1) was decent enough, but I couldn’t find myself liking any of the characters at all…though I didn’t -dislike- them either. It was just complete and total indifference. I’m probably sounding very, very strange saying that, but it’s just honestly the way I am. I -have- to be able to like the game’s characters, or I just completely lose any and all interest in playing the game. Tidus and the FFX/X-2 cast were flawed, emotional, sometimes awkward and even embarrassing….and that’s why I liked them, I guess. They just seemed more human than some other FF protagonists I’ve seen. But, as I said, to each his own; not worth fighting about, y’know? (Though I do enjoy a nice, long discussion on these things, but I fear we’d sidetrack the comment board; this is, after all, Ultima IX he’s reviewing, not FF. :p)
FFVII had a fairly good story, but the whole game was so shittily translated that it began to lose coherence the more and more you tried to understand it. Looking back, I hated Cloud, Sephiroth and Vincent as characters, as they were all just brooding pretty-boys solely designed to make weeaboo girls wet, but the rest of the cast I had no problem with. I could’ve done without the awful animu stylization of the game that was nothing more than a shameless attempt to cash in on the then-new anime craze.
FFX, however, I could find no redeeming qualities in, pretty much for all the same reasons Spoony touched upon. Almost every character got on my nerves in their own special way, particularly Tidus, who has to be the worst-written lead character of any work of fiction in existence. The story, despite having a much better translation than VII, still managed to have more holes in it than Bonnie’s and Clyde’s corpses. The battle system was the only truly phenomenal aspect of gameplay; the sphere grid, on the other hand, was the most atrocious BETRAYAL I’ve ever seen in any video game…as well as the fact that they sucked out all the FF spirit that defined the series by taking away the ability to fully explore the world.
IMO, FFIV and FFVI will always be the best in the series as far as storytelling, character development, and reasonable challenges are concerned. FFX can stuff its awkward laughter scene, ’cause I’ll take FFVI’s opera scene over that drivel any day of the week…twice on Sunday.
Thank you, others who prefers 4 and 6! I’ve tried to play many of the FF games over the years, but 4 and 6 were the only ones I ever /really/ got into. I love the main characters, the story, and even the villains. The old 2D games also didn’t have the terrible tendency to have huge cut-scenes that can’t be paused if you need to leave the room, which is one reason I got pissed at 10. Along with the characters I cared nothing for (except /maybe/ Auron), a story line that I just couldn’t get behind, and more emphasis on shiny graphics than fun game play (*cough*sameproblemwith13*cough*), I finally said ‘screw this’ and quit 10. I was on the final level and everything, but if a game is no longer fun to me, I’m not going to play it, because it’s a /game/, so if it’s no fun anymore, it’s failed at the thing it was meant to do, and it’s not worth it.
Seriously? Cloud, Sephiroth and Vincent where “just brooding pretty-boys solely designed to make weeaboo girls wet”?
I think you – as most of people do these days, really – are thinking of the “modern” characterizations of Cloud, Sephiroth and Vincent, from Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts. Because I played FF VII four times and I can’t remember Cloud being a simpering pretty boy. He started the game as a snark, hardened mercenary, developed insecurities because of his half-amnesia/half-Zack-memories mashup (the grief for losing a woman he loved – even if he wasn’t sure that it was he or Zack who loved her – didn’t help either), and in the end, he finally conquers it all blasting Sephiroth away, like good shonen heroes do.
Same thing for Sephiroth – he had the good looks of a pretty white-haired boy, sure, but he was painted as a fallen hero and an insane man from the start. But it is also hinted that he was kinda like Kefka: he went insane because he was made a test subject for experiments with Jenova cells, and believed that Jenova was his real mother. Now compare his characterization with the one in Crisis Core, where Sephirot, Angeal and Genesis are all-emo and such.
Also, be aware that those three characters that you mentioned are precisely the ones who where very proeminent in other games, and the ones who aren’t, you don’t have anything against. To me, it seems like oversaturation and poor characterization on those other games.
FFVII was designed the way it was to cash in on the “anime-craze”? Suuuuure, because it’s not like anime had been popular in Japan (where the game was made) for YEARS before VII was made. I have no trouble believing that VII became as popular as it did because it hit home with all the emerging anime-fans of the 90´s, but to think that a Japanese game was made to look anime-ish because of the recent (and quite frankly not so groundbreaking) popularity of anime in America seems really far-fetched to me.
As for the characters, I had no problems with them. To each his own but I liked Cloud as the hero and Sephiroth as the villain. They both did their jobs well and didn’t come off as simply whiny and “EMO”.
I know her pain. To this day the only thing that got me through that game was my unimaginable pride refusing to be defeated by another FF game. Tell her not to bother with it… not worth it, even for Sahz and baby Chocobo.
yeah… that is odd lol.
Final Fantasy 6 is my favourite, then 4. If you get past the dated graphics you will find in terms of story and character development, the oldies have a lot more substance.
I grew up playing final fantasy 1 with friends on the NES and watched the series grow from a gritty adventure that brings you along for the ride, to a whole lot of fan service and male characters that look like Jonathon taylor thomas and Justin Beiber.
I still to this day want toilet paper printed with Tidus’s face on it.
anyways, to each his own, but I think a lot of it has to do with Square selling out and selling games on name alone instead of effort. rehashing and repackaging old products, making sequels no one wants.. if they were still making games the same quality as Chrono trigger, or Seiken Denetsu 2 and 3, (final fantasy 7 was the last game in the FF series I enjoyed) no one would be complaining about the dull in comparison titles they’ve let hit the shelves.
but here I am.. staring at a copy of infinite undiscovery.. asking myself.. WHY!?!? WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU MADE!?!? WHO WOULD WANT YOU!!!!????? ahem.. sorry my bad.
My favorite is Final Fantasy 8, by far. And I love the FFVIII review, we just got to learn to not take a comedy show too seriouslly.
I know Spoony´s hate for FF is real, but it is still very funny msterial and he seems to be having fun in the videos.
A hundred times seconded. How anyone can stomach the “gameplay” of the most popular Final Fantasy games is beyond me – and while I don’t much care for the story behind FFXIII, the combat is so awesome and engaging that I just don’t give a shit. Boss fights require twitch reflexes, and when you lose to one you don’t go outside and grind out ten levels before trying again, you are forced to come at the problem from a different angle and try something new.
Even in in the much lauded combat of FFX, your “strategy” for every battle is as simplistic as putting the round peg in the round hole. Speedy enemy? Tidus! Flying enemy? Wakka! Boss? Spam your overdrives! The removal of the ATB gauge and replacing it with a menu actually makes the combat worse than previous games, because any sense of dread that maybe the enemy might get a turn before you do and ruin your plans is completely removed.
Actually, I found FFXIII from the Gameplay pretty Boring. The fights were okay and actually I did kinda even enjoyed them in the “Brain-Dead”-kinda-way. But the Story so ruined it for me. While taking a break from the Game (it didn’t belong to me thank gawd) I spoilered myself and read the whole Story. Now I will never-ever-ever-play it. The Story is sooo bad, it’s beyond.. Can’t enjoy it.
FFX actually I did enjoy and for a short while I even tried to grind for the Black Aeons.. Give that up, that was way to Hardcore for me.
But I did like the Story, I actually did like the Characters. I am not saying they were the best Characters ever, but they were nice. Tidus was the first Loud-Mouthed Hero I actually liked, normally I really hate the Cliche from them.
Maybe it’s because the German Translation (some ppl said so at least) to be even a bit better than the already Decent English Translation. Maybe it’s because I like the Story about the Machina and the Aeons and Yu-Yevon and how messed up Religion can be (I am an Atheist who loves to play Priests (I know, I know, strange XD) and Religion fascinate me)
Though my favorite Final Fantasy is VI. It’s sweet and Anime-Like and caring and has wonderful strong Characters, a nice Story, I love the Bit-Animation anyway~
To make sure everyone fully kills me – I also love Final Fantasy VIII. Which has 100% a better writing in German, yes I love sometimes my Emo Characters, yes the Game had a lot of Faults. Love it anyways~
..and VII I can’t even touch today because every time I see it, I get sick from all the Fanboys/girls who try to shove it down everybody’s Throat.
It’s a pity, I am pretty sure it’s a good Game. Of course it doesn’t help that one can’t escape the Plot/Spoilers of the Game anywhere ^.^
Eh, I can respect that – FF6 is my fav too, for the story if not the combat system. I came off a little strong in my post though, probably having a bad day that day :P
I just hate that FFX always gets a point for its combat system, which had the complexity of fitting the round peg into the round hole. I mean, it’s one thing to figure out and exploit elemental weaknesses or use a phoenix down on a zombie or cast reflect on yourself to negate the enemies’ attacks, but FFX removed all uncertainty by telling you exactly when everyone was going to take their turn. There’s no tension as the bars fill and you hope to input your commands before you get attacked and your plans ruined, there’s only utter certainty that everything will go according to plan, and infinite time to decide that plan. And if all else fails, you can use your Aeons to tank for your party (just keep Yuna in the back row, so you can pull her out at any time without any penalty for doing so).
I also dislike RPG combat in general, and it’s the worst in JRPGs which remove all player skill from the equation and amount to lining up with the enemy and unleashing your best attacks until you run out of mana, use an ether, and repeat. I just don’t see the appeal of something that, when you encounter a boss you are unable to defeat, requires that you go outside and put an hour of playtime into the game to make your numbers go up so you can beat the boss. At least in a game like Skyrim (whose combat I am by no means praising) you can re-enter a failed encounter and try to react quicker, shoot straighter, and use stealth to your advantage – in Final Fantasy you have your “best strategy” and if that doesn’t work anything else you try is kind of wasting your time.
Of the two you did care about, you had to pick X and X-2. God help you
FF13 gets so much hate because of:
1. The fact that they GIVE YOU A FUCKING BOOK INSTEAD OF TELLING YOU WTF IS GOING ON!!! It’s like Mass Effect mentioning the Mass Relays, not even telling you what’s the point of them or even what they do, and instead giving you a book the length of all the cutscenes of MGS4 explaining what the Mass Relays are and what they do. Fuck this game.
2. The fact that people defend the story by saying “it gets better after the 50 hr. mark” which is BS because a GOOD game will have the story, at the very least, fleshed out AT THE BEGINNING!!
3. It’s linear….here’s my question, if the previous FF games weren’t linear, even 12, then why is 13? Hell, even the shittiest of RPGs aren’t fucking linear.
4. Aside from Lightning, and maybe Snow, every single character in this game pissed people off to no end, (case in point, Vanille).
At least FFXIII’s story isn’t backed up the 12 other games so even if the story was bad, it has nothing to betray and the game only crashed once when I played it, although my PS3 suffered the Yellow Light of Death as a result.
It’s a bit sad since this game is basically the culmination of The Experiment. This is THE GAME that Spoony’s wanted to do for eons. Everything was leading up to this, and you can see that all of his truly torturous reviews have a callback in either part of this special. Now it’s all about where The Experiment can go from here. Yes, FF13, but that’s predicated on a build up that he’s been working on. What else can he do that is truly personal and heart rending?
Honestly, I just want to see more riffing. Spoony is at his best with a loose script in my opinion. Stuff like Phantasmagoria, Ripper, and even SWAT are his best stuff as I see it – I guess I’m saying I would love to see more epic playthroughs with Spoony commenting, not so much acting and costumes, even though that certainly also has entertainment value. There are so many of these reviewers out there these days, but only Spoony, Brad Jones, Nostalgia Critic (occasionally) and Angry Video Game Nerd are good enough at it to be worth my time. Out of those four, Spoony and the Nerd are the only ones I actually go back to and rewatch older stuff from.
He’d also then have to get a real job. ;)
I agree. I thought that was some stellar writing, if a little ham-fisted. But it works because it’s the Guardian, and if people have played Ultima 7, they understand exactly what that entails. I found it honestly chilling. When Spoony wants to write good stuff, he truly can.
“Your friends, your co-workers, and soon your very sanity”
He may also be referencing his own mental issues, not just the Twitter battle.
I got that vibe too. “Abandoned by your coworkers,” specifically.
I don’t mean to be rude but no sh*t Sherlock :P (Seriously, nothing personal but come on :D)
Is that really a good idea for Spoony to do? I mean, how are WE expected to drop this whole mess if he won’t?
Personal catharsis, maybe? Vent the issue, then comeback in the finale with the triple threat of Dr. Insano, Oreo, and surprise guest Fu Manchu.
Wow, killing another child in ultima.
At least you CAN kill them, unlike in Skyrim, where they are invincible (including many other, annoying, obnoxious characters as well). So if you want to play as an evil Dark brotherhood listener, who’s also a vampire who blotted out the sun and enjoys killing people….nope, you can’t kill kids, not even Braith who is rude to everyone. You can’t even kill the Blades (for the last time, I-AM-NOT-KILLING-PAARTHUNAX!!! Fuck you, Delphine!) or the Civil war camp captains of the enemy side, or the exiled Jarls, stewards and housecarls, or the thieves guild members; why keep them essential? if i want to help wipe out the thieves guild, Maven Black-Briar and her idiot, evil sons, I should be allowed, just like how I can wipe out the Dark brotherhood if I play as a good guy? If I wiped out both the DB and the TG, then turned my blade on Maven and her sons, then what? There would be no one to come after me and if they’re stupid enough to do so…It’s Thu’um time!
I am ever thankfull that I never got Ultima 9; Your review of all the other Ultima games is what caused me to buy the collectors pack, as well as both Ultima underworld games, and I love them! but this one….oh gods! the pain!
To be fair, they recorded the sounds of the children dying, and kept it in the files, and a mod allows you to kill children in Skyrim.
But yeah, that is kinda sick, message or moral or no, disturbing that Richard Garriott aka Lord British seems to have a thing for child murder, bit sickening, if it was a demon in the form of a child, still creepy, but understandable, squicks me out.
As to the review, I enjoyed it :D
But there is always a solution to the “children’s room”, the player can always avoid them, use a sleep, fear, or time stop spell, or at least hit them without weapons until they flee. It’s just a test.
true true, just pointing that little tidbit out, but if Spoonys words are true, in Ultima 9 there is no alternative, #Mindscrew
You could run away or Charm (even if you haven’t had a chance to learn the spell you could just use a scroll of Charm) the fireball kid. I think all of the hostile children are also somewhat of a middle finger to gamer mentality. “KILL ANYTHING THAT IS HOSTILE!”
Ponder this, o’ seeker: My wife started playing this game and simply ran from the “give us your gold” guys *because* she knew she could kill them. “I ran because I’m The Avatar.”
As I understand it, though, Ultima 9 isn’t considered canon by most fans of the series. I haven’t played this particular installment, but would it be possible to flee from the fight with the fire-throwing child-tyrant?
Canon or not canon it doesn’t change that you don’t have to kill the kid (see my above comment)
It’s definitely possible to successfully run away from each and every child encounter in the Ultima games, or use other means to evade them. Heck, you can even let them kill you — at least, as the Avatar, Lord British resurrects you.
It’s all down to the player.
Psst… There’s a mod for Skyrim that lets you kill kids ;) (PC-Only though)
great! Wheres part 3?
Spoony you tease, now I have to wait for part 3, I was sure this would conclude Ultima 9. I guess a game this bad needs 3 parts lol
It’s a shame he didn’t pan it out longer like he did with Final Fantasy 8. Now that was fun.
I think the other Ultima games count as that since his initial plan was to just review Ultima 9 but then went back to explain his love for the whole series to give it context.
Pretty sure this one video has more references to previous Experiment material than any other two or three others combined.
And I love the irony of the Avatar saying “good heavens!” in reaction to a pair of celestial bodies threatening to destroy the world.
Nice one Spoony, not only did you pull off another one of your stellar reviews you’ve, upped the stakes masterfully. With the Guardian obviously playing off of frustrated disillusioned fanboyism I can’t wait to see where you’ll take things in the finale especially given the end of Ultima IX itself.
Awesome episode, Spoony. We’re all rooting for you.
The bit at the end about your coworkers hit pretty close to reality, but don’t forget that you’ve got some great friends on the internet, and thousands of devoted fans. We’re all cheering for you.
Anyway, about the review. I feel like you got really into this review, which is great. The new title theme is awesome! I laughed a lot at all of the crashes. And I know you went through these paces in the first part of the review, but this voice-acting is almost the worst I’ve ever heard. I think Garzey’s Wing is the only piece of pseudo-media that has it worse, anyway.
The dancing corpses made me laugh hysterically. Every time I see the Avatar in the pre-rendered cutscenes I cringe a little at how revolting he is. Seriously, look at that wiry hair. That lumpy face. That stunted, disproportionate body.
I think we all thought exactly the same thing when we heard the name “Tidus”. Fucking horrifying, man.
Anyway, keep up the awesome work, Spoony. Or don’t, if you think that taking a break from reviewing would be good for you. I know I wouldn’t mind, and I know that any real fan of yours would understand; except of course that we would be deprived of your hilarious reviews, but that’s a sacrifice I’d be willing to make for the right cause. Cheers!
“Abandoned by your co-workers”
Wait… was the whole leaving CA thing just a ruse so that we would be more invested in the storyline of the review? A trolling on the folks who can’t tell the difference between Spoony and the real Noah? Because if so, I have just one thing to say:
Bravo, Mr Antwiler. Bravo.
That would be amazing ]:
Does Noah know the difference between Spoony and Noah?
If he doesn’t know the difference then how is he able to write all the other characters like Dr. Insano and Chuckles The Fucking Jester interacting with Spoony?
I think the better question is: Does Noah know when to stop being Spoony?
Maybe that’s been part of the joke all along too. Jesus, how long has he been playing this? Does it even go back to Scarlett? We have seen he can act, did he fake that whole drunken vlog for Breaking Dawn?
but that could just be .. orbital wobble.
No Oblivion reference with grabbing a thing from a big evil thing?
Oh well, loved it. Need the next part, and I love that opening song, post an MP3 or something it was great.
brilliant…can’t wait for the conclusion…
The glitching Benny Hill bodies part was the best part imho (just a sucker for glitches I guess)
I get that people are trying to “cheer Spoony up” or whatever but after skimming the overly positive and saccharine tone of the comments, they really seem like pity and I’m not surprised that they would kind of piss him off. I know people mean well but I think (obviously this is just me) one of the problems of this fanbase is that a lot of people think they know Spoony personally and “get him”. I have no pretensions of knowing anything about the man other than what he has chosen to reveal. I guess I’m just saying that for me it would be pretty tiresome to see hundreds of “pat-on-the-back” comments from people who don’t know me and who I don’t know in return. It would seem like I’m some dweeb who can’t get his sh*t together and I’d need some douchenozzle to tell me to “get better and give me my goddamn review asap!”. But I’m not Spoony so I don’t know how he feels. The biggest problem, however, imho is airing one’s dirty laundry in public (as obviously happened with the whole Twitter incident). People seem to love fuelling the (thankfully dwindling) fires of this debaucle when the only way forward is to let the dust settle (and not be so friggin greedy). Yes, I admit that I am disappointed to see so few reviews lately but it’s not my place to complain about not receiving my FREE CONTENT(!) (it seems to be a birthright for a lot of people). If there’s nothing new, I shrug and change webpages to someone who might have something I haven’t seen yet. I’m not about to whine and b*tch about it though. If there’s something I hate about my generation, it’s the “gimme gimme now! mentality”
Anyhoo, ’nuff said. Looking forward to part 3.
Whatever it’s worth, I don’t think that last problem’s just with your generation (whichever one that is). When you see people in their 60s complaining about their DVRs missing their shows and throwing fits because they didn’t get enough Taco Bell sauce packets, it starts to seem that the “right to instant gratification” is overtaking all but the remaining few who grew up in the shadow of the Great Depression.
Spot on Chris and I agree Patrick, although I don’t know anyone who grew up in that time, being 18 and all.
Also that whole ‘the end of this part is epic symbolism for his dispute with TGWTG’ is rather annoying, I think they’re reading to much into that and if I’m wrong I’m willing to bet that it was added as a joke.
There’s no symbolism, it’s a direct reference. The Guardian mentions that Spoony was “abandoned by his friends, his co-workers”. He’s essentially tying the storyline into real-life events. Seems pretty straightforward to me.
Modern technology like Twitter doesn’t quite help, either. There’s a slight difference between “having an argument with someone via email” and “having an argument that can be basically seen and join by anyone – including trolls”
Because people in thier 60′s now are what as known as the “Baby Boom ” generation, basically the poeple who said never trust anyone over 30 and are basically bitter that they aren’t the focus of society after having everything marketed to them for the last 40 some odd years.
Well, I’m not going to give the same thing, but I don’t think he’d be angry if I say “Keep up the good work!” and then eagerly anticipate the next video! I understand Spoony is a busy guy and life comes first, so I can wait :D
Thats why there is a difference between “Fans” and “Fanboys”. Fanboys dont realize that they arent actually helping him with his limitless admiration.
As you say, they dont even realize Spoony actually hates ass-kissing like that.
For what it’s worth, for all the “ass-kissing” going down in these comments… Hell. At least in my opinion, the emotion is real.
A lot of people are hoping that Spoony… No, Noah is able to pull himself up out of his spiral. It’s not going to happen overnight, and no one set of words are magically going to set his mind right. But we’ll still keep trying, because we like the character, the actor, and the person.
When we say “Cheer up, Spoony!” we don’t mean to say it in an eager attempt to stroke his ego. We say it because we hope we can provide a bit of light on what really is a dark time… And has been for a while. We say it because we want to help… Even if it’s not the best way.
This is a fanbase trying it’s damnedest to pull it’s hero up… The ones who care, at least. And considering the reputation this fanbase has, that’s saying something. We want to see Noah and Spoony alike, person and character, rise above the real problems that have befallen both. Personally… I like the thought of chipping my two cents in on that hope.
So screw it. I’ll pat Spoony on the back. I’ll try to get Noah to cheer up. I’ll put in what effort I can to brighten the day of a man who has had too many dark nights. And I’m not alone in that. I’m a fan of The Spoony One. I want to support Noah Antwiler. So if he happens to read this, he’ll keep this in mind. To quote a man of Red, Green, and duct tape…
“We’re all in this together.”
Maybe… I dunno.
I won’t claim to know how anybody actually feels, Noah or any of the commenters here, but bare with me on this, because it might seem a bit backwards at first. The emotions in many comments may be genuine and sincere, but perhaps they’re not expressed quite so… altruistically?
I’m not saying this is the case with you, but an alternate interpretation to what you’ve said revolves around the line: “I like the thought of chipping my two cents in on that hope.”
There are two sides in this particular scenario:
Person A, who is receiving a message (Noah).
Person B, who is giving it (Commenters).
The line above comes off to me as stemming more out of the self-considerations of Person B, only wrapped up in considerations for Person A.
This is a bit of a bad analogy, but can you see how this sort of thing can stem from essentially a form of unintentional bragging rights? That by sending caring messages, Person B gains the ability to later say, to themself or others, that they “helped” or “stood by” Person A in their time of need? That they were there and they were a positive voice, and that there is recorded evidence of that.
That this act was objectively a good act, and it validates them as a good person? That perhaps, just maybe, Noah read that comment and it did cheer him up in just a small way, and that that gift of care was given?
This may sound like a twisted way to view a care-felt message, but step outwards of the situation and view it from both perspectives through the frame of another line: “We say it because we want to help… Even if it’s not the best way.”
That’s the part that I think worries me. Good intentions are good, and I’m not saying these caring people aren’t good people, but perhaps they’re sending their messages to make themselves feel better by contributing with “help.”
Just consider that, in this scenario, Person A and Person B don’t actually know each other. A commenter may have fond feelings towards Noah, and wish to help him, but at the core of it they don’t really know him on a personal level. All they’re given is snippets that Noah reveals about himself that aren’t part of a character.
I also don’t know Noah, but he’s revealed that he’s actually been diagnosed with depression. This is different to being sad, or down in the dumps on life, this is a medical condition that reaches into all aspects of a person’s life.
Now imagine if you were a Person A with medically diagnosed depression. If a Person B (i.e. a complete stranger) came along and personally said to you “Cheer up! I believe in you!”, even with all the best intentions, how would that make you feel? Would you truly feel loved and appreciated? Or would you feel like they trivialised your medical condition into a bad mood? That they mistook you for just being a bit down on your luck recently? That they think the cure to your medical condition is a few kind words they took the time to say to you as they smile and go on their way in life, warm in the knowledge that they can now pat themselves on the back for doing a good deed?
Maybe I’m reading too deeply into the most unconscious motives of the situation. Maybe not enough people are.
Just personally, I think that if Person B truly wants to help Person A, and not just make themself (Person B) feel better as a person, then they have to consider Person A as an individual (and in this case, a stranger), and not just a human being interchangeable with any other. They should consider that kind intentions, coming from the mouth of a complete stranger, will not always breed the same good results it might with a glum friend.
Perhaps sometimes it’s just best to not say anything at all. At least not until Person A is receptive to it. Even then, it’s still probably best to reach out to people who actually do know them, such as family members or close friends; people who actually have a relationship with Person A and can realistically talk to them and maybe be listened to.
All in all though, it’s rarely a good idea to tell a depressed person to “Cheer up,” because, as I said, it trivialises their condition. Such a statement doesn’t quite come from empathy or sympathy, because they’re sympathising on the wrong emotion. General good will can breed a pleasant atmosphere, which is always good, but don’t expect such an effort to genuinely help on a core level.
“All in all though, it’s rarely a good idea to tell a depressed person to “Cheer up,” because, as I said, it trivialises their condition.”
This. Very much this. Whenever I’m told to cheer up by someone who knows that I live with major depression, my initial reaction is always, “Um… thanks? I would if I could.” The well-wishing is genuinely nice, but the lack of understanding how depression really affects a person is incredibly frustrating. I know it’s not intentional, but that’s what makes it even more frustrating.
My advice is this: if you know that someone is depressed, and you want to help get their mind off of things that may be contributing to their condition, help get their mind off of it. Change the subject. Talk about anything BUT what is happening in their life. Talk about things that are interesting to both parties. Just be a friend.
That said, diagnosable mental illness or not, “cheer up!” never works. Ever. No one can change their emotional outlook because of a well-meaning platitude from an outside source.
Well done. That’s one of the more sensible things that I’ve heard/read lately.
I guess “cheer up!” is marginally better than “get over it!” or “snap out of it!”
>.<, but I agree that it's kind of empty of results regardless. Now that I think about it, if I was just sad and a friend sat down next to me I'd probably rather they wordlessly wrap one arm around me and say nothing than just say "cheer up." Maybe it depends on the reason for my mood (which is different to depression).
I saw a commenter on Twitter when everything was going down that literally told Noah that he should "snap out of" his mood and "get over" his problems so that he can start taking life on again in a happier frame of mind. I'm pretty sure that's what ignited Noah's anger for quite a little while, because his responses to that sounded angrily offended that somebody would outright dismiss his condition as if it were merely the commenter's inconvenience. Then lots of people reacted to what was said during that, and the general anger being thrown around.
The worst bit is that they appeared to be doing it in a sort of… well-meaning manner. Not politely, no, but I got the impression they weren't trying to be nasty, more like they thought they were that ballsy heroic character in horror movies that slaps someone out of panic-mode/shock, helping by allowing the group to escape clear-headedly.
It’s very easy to assume the “Cheer up!” or “Snap out of it” messages really have a hidden meaning.
“Stop being an emotional human being and go back to making my free entertainment because I’m bored and I need new things”.
Oh god this.
I get so fed up with people saying “Cheer up 8D” as if just hearing those words will sooth my misery7 and uplift me to the sunny skies of happiness.
Thank you, my friend. Here I was languishing in a state of uncatagorisable and unfathomable misery, wondering how I could possibly lift myself out from the funk I currently inhabit when in reality it just needed some dumb-ass to come over and say “Cheer up!” in a mindly convincing manner. Thank God for you.
Seriously, when I’m depressed, I have one of two options.
1) Sit at my computer and watch drivel, dwelling on my crappy mood.
2) Play Bayonetta or something like that. Play something that requires my attention, something that gives me no time to think for myself, something I have to completely focus on that leave no room in my head to dwell on the subject matter of my misery.
I agree with you for the most part, but I think the motivation and how you word it is kind of important when telling Spoony to “cheer up”. Because I do believe there is a difference between “Cheer up” and genuine care. I’ll admit, I sent him an email of support- but I actually stated very clearly that I know his condition is a lot more complicated than “cheer up”. I myself don’t have depression, but I do have a few more minor conditions and I know how it feels when they are brushed off as “just get over it”. So i can’t even imagine how bad it feels when something like clinical depression is brushed off.
So yes, I agree that just saying “Cheer up!” is a bad idea. I sent Noah a message just to remind him how much he means to fans like us, not just on a “give us another review!” level, but on a level where we are actually concerned with his health and happiness. And though we look forward to more reviews, we’d rather he enjoy what he’s doing and take time for himself than work himself to death for our selfish reasons. So i reminded him of all the ways he personally has helped me- how his critiquing has made me search my own works for flaws, how his reviews make me laugh even when I’m feeling miserable, how Counter Monkey has given me both hours of entertainment and a HUGE desire to get into that kind of gaming, etc. I dunno, maybe that wasn’t smart of me- but I do think giving actual support like how much someone means to you even if you don’t know them personally is an improvement over “Cheer up!”, because it actually has significant meaning and isn’t just an empty well-wishing. And I don’t claim to know Noah or his personal life outside of what he’s revealed or do i claim to know how fans feel when they send him messages saying “cheer up!”. And now I’m starting to wonder if I should have sent the message. But honestly, I don’t see the problem when it really is someone trying to be a friend, whereas it means nothing when you’re just trying to give yourself some sense of heroism.
Yes, though, I definitely agree with you on the “trivializing the condition” part- depression is too complicated and overwhelming, from what I’ve seen, to simply “snap out of it”. It actually irritates me when I see people saying “Cheer up!” with no real understanding of the condition, thinking it’s “a bad mood” as you described it. It makes me flat-out mad when someone says to “just get over it”. And no, I don’t think you’re reading too deeply into the condition- I think you’re spot on. My concern/hope is that when people do send messages to Noah, that it comes from an actual friend who wants to be there- and let him know that even when his depression has him in its grips that he’s still got genuine support. That’s how I feel, and how I think a lot of the fans feel, but I worry that the “fans” are sending him messages with the wrong motivation, like you said, the “I did a good deed” mentality. Noah is, from what I’ve seen, a good guy at heart with a heavy burden and several problems, and he deserves better than empty, “Hope you feel better!”, impersonal Hallmark-esque messages. He deserves to know that no matter what state he’s in, he’s got people who really do love and support him as and will always be there not only as viewers and fans but as friends.
You know what we could do… just talk about the reviews and vids instead of pointless bullshit. His RL? Do not care… He’s kinda funny in his vids… that’s all I’m interested in.
I think it was simply a good video. Lost the annoying betrayal counter and delivered exactly what everyone expects from a Spoony video. Job well done.
Agreed. Only trolls bumping shit.
>< Flash plug in crashed like 5 minutes from the end, I actually for a moment thought it was intentional.
Fantastic retrospective, cleverly written and hillariously accurate. I remember being in awe at the size of the game, only to be disappointed in any other respect. Considering games like Skyrim, it might be more viable to now make a game like Ultima 9 was intended to be.
It’s funny, but watching these reviews, I thought the same thing. I’d forgotten a lot about Ascension, and how it’s done…Skyrim definitely looks like was U9 was meant to be. Despite all its mechanical flaws, Ascension was ahead of its time in a lot of the things it did (not uncommon for Ultima games), from the continuous 3D world to being able to watch the natural ingame transition of day to night, character animations while they talk…while I still don’t like the story, and functionality was really glitchy, it was pretty impressive all the same.
Wow O.o those last lines were unexpected. A hero challenged, his choices in question. His antagonist his opposite and himself.
I know you’ve said you don’t dig doing storylines but man, I am jonesing for the conclusion.
Yay for more Ultima IX, and more to come!
A lot of things could have been cleaned up in the Ultima Series if they did away with the notion that the Avatar is always the same person. It would explain why the stats always drop after each game, why stupid questions are asked, and all that if instead of saying “The Avatar is the Avatar” that the whole “Avatarhood” is merely a soul passed on from champion to champion… which would then almost sound like Lord British’s chosen one for his fake religion should be bending the greek elements, but, eh.
You see that would have worked… if that was in continuity with the previous games. Seeing as for every other game the Avatar was the same person, it wouldn’t make any sense to suddenly change it (granted it would be better than this).
However, they could easily have explained things better or justified the Avatar having poor knowledge and equipment. If they started the game with the Avatar fighting the Guardian and making it impossible to win, then they could have done something akin to the avatar taking mortal wounds and losing his memories and equipment from the battle. From this point the Avatar would need to relearn things and face hardships he otherwise would have breezed through. To make the Guardian defeatable they could have made it so the Avatar needed use of the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom to find a way. This would lead to a quest for a great power, and then a climactic battle which would still be made tough.
But as we’ve seen, they instead had a poor narrative, poor programming, poor gameplay, and all around a poor game that in no way measures up to its predecessors.
I just read the 1990′s “The Official Book of Ultima” ( http://ultima.wikia.com/wiki/Official_Book_of_Ultima ) in which Garriot says that he first put the child killing dungeon room in U5, which lead to an argument between him and his family and caused one person to quit working at Origin. In U5 the dungeon room was hidden and visiting it wasn’t necessary for completing the game, and getting out of there without killing the kids was hard, but possible, so killing them was your own choice. The uproar it caused with his family and at Origin convinced Garriot that he absolutely has to leave that dungeon room in the game. Anyway, that was his justification.
Sounds like Garriott would be the guy at BioWare during the ME3 fallout who would say “Everybody hates this so we need to keep it, end of story.”
No it sounds completely fair, I’m actually tired of developers and people in general who act as if children are immortal in video games or otherwise.
Where-as he does go about it in the wrong way, as in its mostly not even an option to kill them or not.
Either way games shouldn’t be so afraid to have children die or be killable in their games, especially games that try to give you a morality ‘test’ by showing you how evil/good you are.
In U5 killing them affected your honor, as did stealing crops from a field and many other things, which DID make completing the shrine quests harder. (There’s been an area of murderous children in every Ultima since Ultima 5.)
Completely agree. That’s why I got the killable children mod for Skyrim :D
I prefer the Fallout 1 and 2 method of this yes there are kids and yes you can kill them but you get next to nothing for it and everyone will hate you. simple and direct way to include non invincible kids while not seeming like a total ass hat for doing so.
So Richard Garriot was the gaming equivalent to George Lucas?
This episode was hillarious but at the same time I feel so bad for you Spoony. Why can’t EA just go out of buisness or something? Whatever they touch they destroy. Fuck you EA!
This is an example of why Spoony has been my favorite internet reviewer for years. This review is so well put together, points out so many problems with the game on not only a technical but narrative standpoint, and shows the level of passion he had for this series and how little this game did justice to it.
I had enjoyed the entire series of Ultima reviews up to this point and was even inspired to track down and begin playing through the early games because the narratives that Spoony summarized were interesting. However, I had no idea that Ultima 9 was such a train wreck of a game.
The reviews for this series have been amazing and this review is easily the best and most thorough so far. I eagerly look forward to seeing how you plan to bring this amazing series to a close.
Sweet review! The start was especially hilarious, and sort of reminiscent of the guy riverdancing from The Thing game :) I kind of miss the confounded, frustrated yelling at the game from the first part, but it kind of makes sense to have the second episode be lower-key than the first as Spoony has resigned to the crap and is just rolling with it. It’s still quite amusing, focusing on all the more minor technical faults of the game, and the constant crashes just add to that :)
Also, aces for that final speech by the Guardian. Love it. Good way to rise to the challenge, Spoony Man, and it actually fits so well. “They only watch to see you suffer” is pretty much the reason Wrestle! Wrestle! exists, after all :) Can’t wait for part 3.
Great Review, Spoony. The ending was especially nice. That’s some thought-provoking stuff coming from a review of shitty, old EA games.
One problem, though: THE ADS DON’T WORK! We can’t give you that delicious ad revenue with our patronage if the ads don’t start. I’ll wait, and watch again tomorrow, to see if it’s resolved itself.
Yes! Please never stop reviewing. Nice song too.
Darker and more insidious powers?
Ah yes, rEApers. We have dismissed that claim.
I don’t think even the Nerd could be more enraged by such a horrible game.
Too bad the Betrayal-counter was taken out, I ad a bet going to who gets the closest guess. mine was 326.
Still, awesome review. Not as awesome as part 1, but still awesome.
Wait, hold on…
Is Spoony leaving CA a work!?
Is Spoony “leaving” CA a work!?
I don’t think even Aaron Spelling could have “wrote” that “plot”.
WWE writers did. It’s the CM Punk plot of last year.
I understand that this is more for entertainment than for a honest review, so claiming that some enemies have too many HP while you in fact attack them with the weapon they are strongest against is a clever ruse, but claiming things like mantras don’t work till you went through a side quest or that there’s no cutscene before entering Ambrosia and such claims are just outright lies. With a factual, non-entertainment tone of speech weaving, this all would probably be just one video.
You’d almost think he didn’t play it with a FAQ open to know which weapon is strongest against what enemy or that when he says he wasn’t sure if he accidentally skipped something he was in fact NOT SURE IF HE ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED SOMETHING. lol
I don’t see anyone else doing reviews for the series.A shit game is just that.SHIT.Entertainment or not pretty much all the negative aspects of the game are being addressed,and its painful to conceive EA had the nerve to release this drek onto the unsuspecting public.
I think it would be awesome if the whole expulsion/leaving of Channel Awesome turned out to be a part of a bigger meta story-line, But I highly doubt that this is the case.
Excellent ep! Now, let’s wait for FFXIII :D
The Betrayal song needs to be released as a single….
I have to say, there is one thing that concerns me about your reviews lately, especially this one. There’s far too many in-jokes, and I’ve seen most of your videos so I got pretty much all of them, but in-jokes are the sort of thing you throw out every now and then as a wink to your core fanbase, this video seemed particularly built on them. I really don’t know what anyone watching you for the first time would get out of any of your recent videos and you’re potentially limiting the growth of your audience.
Great Part 2 Spoony! If you happen to see this post I do have a question. Does the game force you to kill that fireball shooting child if you pay him off and say only positive responses?
None of the games force you to kill children. You’re put into situations where you face hostile kids, but you can always run away, if not use magic to make them flee or fall asleep.
Thanks Spoony, that was awesome, looking forward to how this all ends ^^
Honestly they just should have stooped after Ultima 7, it just went downhill, fast and steep, and now we are in a freefall ^^
Didnt even know that spoony had left CA.lol, what good reviewers do they have lft there now? Linkara? Is Cinema snob still affiliated with them? piss site to be honest.
What’s all this talk about problems with co-workers? Sorry but I don’t follow twitter or anything like that so I don’t know what’s going on with that.
Anyway I was so happy to have the next part to watch, just happened to be rewatching the first part again and wondering when this would be uploaded ^^ That opening and benny hill part were hilarious! Can’t wait to see how it ends and cheers Spoony! :)
he no longer works at channel awesome because of a comment he made that was misrepresented as a rape joke towards JesuOtaku. He was actually making an S&M joke and ObscurusLupa overreacted. We’ve been told that losing his job and the joke aren’t related, but us fans aren’t stupid so we can read between the lines.
That’s not why he left. It’s because he was lashing out at fans, a lot of them filed formal complaints, and rather than abide by CA policy, he chose to leave. His decision. He wasn’t fired. Lupa bringing up the joke – and it was a rape joke, don’t be disingenuous – seems to have been what set everything off, but the complaints from the fans are what got him in trouble with the CA staff.
Spoony has left Channel Awesome after some drama at twitter. Despite the speculation of some fans, it wasn’t about the rape joke he made towards JesuOtaku. Linkara’s description of his leaving was,
More or less Spoony acted in what’s considered an inappropriate manner on Twitter. The higher-ups at Channel Awesome talked to him to try to get him to act differently, the differences could not be reconciled and it was decided he should leave Channel Awesome, which he agreed with
Well that’s sad to hear, I know he’s had various real life issues for a while now. Hope he can work past them and continue making funny videos. That is one reason I don’t like Twitter, it seems to provoke people to make inappropriate remarks that can get way out of hand. Whatever the case is I’m glad it was settled peacefully.
Great stuff, well worth the delay. Bit uneasy about the inference to the CA business but it’s a good way to excise those demons (for want of a better term) I suppose.
No! Spoony don’t! Everyone clap and cheer and maybe Spoony’ll hear and break the Guardian’s spell! Everyone CLAP! CLAP GODAMNIT!
I BELIEVE IN SPOONY! I BELIEVE IN SANTACHRIST!
Mmmmmm, that’s tasty, tasty meta. lol
best intro… SONG EVER! Spoony your the best!
Yes Spoonatar, let the grim reality wash over you. Know despair… JOIN THE DARK SIDE!
No but seriously, awesome stuff. Looking forwards to more.
Dammit. Is it still a requirement that any music replacing the Irresponsibles must be derided by the fanbase? Because I thought that was awesome.
Hey spoony just sent 5bucks and i know it aint much but if every nerd did it it might be worth something.
3/10 would not watch again.
C’mon Spoons! Your first part of Ultima 9 was brillent! What the hell happend?
Even though a lot of your coworkers abandoned you in the event of your firing, didn’t some of them also stick by you? Like Linkara, Angry Joe and Diamanda.
Also, seems like you’re doing just fine with your “future endeavors.”
Excellent Video. Nothing like ripping on this thing at the beginning of the week :)
So ok. I watched the video when you posted it. I wanted to write a comment but, I want to be tactful with it.
(I should say I’ve been a fan for a long time, if you look at some of your old Wrestle Wrestle comments you’ll see me there, I know I was a fan before you did the FF8 review. I think you were doing the Swat 4 or Phantasmagoria 2 review at the time.)
So, this video? I say it’s totally par for the course. I had a friggin ball watching it. I’m eagerly awaiting part 3. And all your future blogs and rants.
To put it briefly, we are damn similar in just about every discernible, significant aspect. I won’t get into the details because it would be airing both of our dirty laundry in really a spot that it just doesn’t belong.
Just, know that there are people out there that still appreciate what you do, and that you are still just as entertaining as ever.
Damn, that review got DARK at the end; even for Spoony that was kind of messed up.
Can’t wait for part 3!
Great review Spoony! Anybody else want to see that Betrayal song on the Rock Band Network?
Freaking hilarious. I laughed my arse off at your expression during the first fifteen seconds of the video.
The Ultima-song was wicked too.
Kinda missed the “Betrayal!” counter, but good work all around.
And again, the FFX protagonist’s name is actually pronounced “Tee-Dus”, but I admit that wouldn’t have made the Tydis/Tidus joke work, so I’ll get over it. THIS time. ;)
Hilarious review. Knew that Ultima 9 was glitchy as hell from what ive heard, but this really is an overkill… Couldnt stop laughing when those 2 corpses started to bounce from walls.
Looks like time to wait another month and a half for the next part.
Nice intro song. :D
God bless you sir.
YES! FUCK YES, DUDE! YES!
Oh my god…. Spoony don’t listen to the guardian! Your fans are here for you! You’re the goddamn avatar, don’t let him push you around with lies! We love ya spoony! *hugs*
Seriously though, I thought this part of the review was slightly better than the first one! I laughed hard at the fact this game exists with such glitchy detail and shitty dialouge. Dear Ultima Fans and Spoony, I’m so so sorry you have to deal with this game. I think my favorite parts was the beginning where spoony started screaming and the ending(The guardian’s dialouge made me cringe in that sense where he has a point but still is being manipulative)
Great job spoony, keep at it!
Awesome!!! I’m so ready for Part 3. This may be my favorite review on this site.
I had an epiphany a few months back. If you imagine that the Guardian didn’t just invade Britannia but also subjugated Origin itself, you can think of Ultima IX as the ultimate influence of the Guardian’s evil. Somehow, when I think about it that way, it’s not so bad.
Even though it was pretty clear in Ultima VII that the Fellowship was EA (through their symbols) you could make a pretty clear argument for EA being the Guardian in this syllogism. ;)
I don’t know what happened with TGWTG but I see you are not on the site anymore. Fuck them. You were the best one on the site. You don’t need them man, you are great at what you do. I can’t even say how many times I’ve watched and re-watched your videos. WAY more than anyone else on TGWTG. Don’t let this get you down man, you are truly talented and I hope you keep up the experiment for many years to come.
ohhh how i hate this gayvatar!!! he is so annoying!!! i want to stab him with a greatsword!!!
Awesome, can’t wait for part 3!
Hey Spoony, great review. I wanted to take the time and tell you that I am a huge fan of your site, Ive seen almost every video, and you are by far my favorite reviewer/personality. Thank you for all the hard work you put into your reviews and into your site.
God damn! That was amazing, Spoony. I just got over my Spoony jonesin, but now it’s back! I’m never gonna wanna see you suffer, man. But I wonder….forces darker than the Guardian himself….and such an odd name for a being of pure evil…..Guardian….
Biggest betrayal: Shamino is pronounced SHAM-in-o?!? Not sham-EEN-o? Ouch! That hurt my soul! What’s next? Is Dupre actually DOO-pree? Lord bri-TEESH?
That’s how it’s pronounced. Ask him in Ultima 6. Also: it’s DEW-pray.
….okay I cannot be the only one who thinks the Guardian sounds like he’s creepily hitting on Avatar Spoony….all rape-y and whatnot….
And if that is the case? Lock and load motherfucker cuz this fan’s going to ensure he has a fight on his big red hands.
I know Spoony mentioned the fact that the Shrine of Humility was under water but that didn’t upset me as much as its location. When and in what game was the Shrine ever in New Magincia, last time I checked the shrine was on the Isle of the Avatar. And don’t even get me started on the fact that there is a cave connecting Buccaneer’s Den to New Magincia. Keep ripping this game a new one Spoony it ruined Ultima for me and deserves every vile and horrible thing you can throw at it.
And to think I almost bought this game when I was a kid… I did buy Pagan.. and fell into the water soooooo many times while jumping.
How you know you’re playing a terribly coded game:
- horrible hit detection
- bodies that linger, float, or become convulsive
- trying to force intelligence on characters causes the game to crash; or the game doesn’t allow you to progress with the main story
- giant rats, enemy crabs, and various evil doers mean very little as far as danger is concerned; however, one little boy with an attitude problem might is the equivalent to an epic encounter with facing the Creator
Awesome video cant wait for the conclusion
oh my god, best intro song ever :D
I feel a great and terrible sadness come over me whenever a Spoony vid ends. But a great joy whenever another one takes its place :)
Abandoned by your friends, co workers and fans. yea that part really stuck out to me. Well rest assured I’ve got your back Spoony. I owe you so much for making these awesome vids to watch while I suffered during exams in College
Rape jokes are ok, but murdering children is frowned upon?
Mentions of chains is hardly anywhere near rape. It’s called bondage, BDSM, an activity that is meant to be done via consenting partners.
But hey, feel free to misread the joke however you want.
In small, VERY small defense of the game, I can only assume the makers wrote the game dialog for players who hadn’t played the other games and were providing opportunities for explanation of terms. That said, it doesn’t excuse the constant changing of facts and events, you need to keep your story lines consistent given that the people most likely to play a sequel are people who played the others and as shown they will notice when things get changed for no reason.
And story inconsistency aside, there’s no excusing the constant crashes and all the other problems there are with it. 16 hours? Wow, you’re really slogging through this mess. I love your expression at the begining in reaction to the glitched guy flying on the ceiling. It just completely sums up what you think of the whole game. Also, nice hair~ ^^
Nitpick: it’s not a glitched guy but rather a mage that had an attempt at creating a flying spell turn out a bit too literally. It’s still rather odd that they can fit in silliness but can’t get the game to differentiate between the type of damage a warhammer does versus a claymore.
Spoony, consistently proving he’s the best and the funniest at the internet review thing.
Funny how the people he gets into feuds with are the ones who have no talent.
Sir, your devotion to the Ultima series has impressed me to no end. I did my own retrospective back around when you started, but the lengths to which you have gone for Ultima is absolutely amazing.
You are now the Avatar.
The Tydus bit was hilarious.
I am quite looking forward to the conclusion of this epic.
I absolutely loved all the callback jokes. When it cut to, “The Press!” or, “Orbital wobble,” and especially the line from Captain America. I loved the way they all perfectly fit the situation, haha. Great review!
Another awesome review. It’s rare for me to find another Ultima fan (God forbid fellow females, I’m pretty sure they don’t exist), and a friend introduced me to your site. Another one even started playing the series thanks to your videos. I keep putting your reviews on in the back round whenever Im gaming or getting ready for work. i love listening and your humor always cheers me up during the day. Thank you again hun! I can’t wait to watch your next vid, whatever it may be. ^^ See you soon!
You’re not the only female Ultima fan, Heather! We are a small but mighty group. (also: yay!)
Definitely not the only female fan. ;) Though most I know shunned both U8 and 9 for its lack of character creation options beyond “blond white dude”.
Perhaps you should consider joining the Ultima Dragons Internet Chapter (UDIC). It won’t change your life but it can get you into contact with other Ultima fans.
A bit dark at the end, but the expletives hurled throughout were PRICELESS. I spat water all over again. I need to not be eating or drinking anything when I watch one of your videos, I guess.
Great review, as usual!
By the way, I know the “crashing the moon on the earth” apocalyptic plot has already been done in other stories, but am I the only one who thinks this is a Majora’s Mask ripoff?
Of course Origin ripped off a game that was released after their own…and Metallica should sue Diamond Head while we’re at it…
Spoony. If you make the opening “Betrayal” song a downloadable mp3 I will build a dozen churches in your honor. One day… :P
Your fans won’t abandon you, Spoony! We think you’re awesome!
I have just learned about the incident at Channel Awesome and let me tell you one thing. I DON’T CARE! Your reviews always made me laugh and today’s video isn’t an exception. I don’t give a damn what kind of ‘inappropriate’ joke you have made because if one stupid joke gets someone into butthurt state of such magnitude then I wish he had my 5 fun years of everyday taunting at my primary school (Czech schools; 9 years; from 6 to 15). I would LOVE to see said person squirm in the class I was in! Then at least he would have had a REASON to baaw or would grow a thicker skin and not baaw later on. But enough of that. No matter what happens I will stick with THIS site. Spoonyexperiment brought me so many laughs and gave so much good time that I WILL NOT LEAVE IT BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID JOKE! Although this may sound cheesy, you Spoony, have my full support (even though it may amount to nothing in the end)!
He didn’t leave because of “the joke”, it was because fans filed complaints with Channel Awesome over his behavior. Rather than abide by their policy, he left. His choice. He wasn’t fired. “The joke” may have set it all off, but it was only one factor in a much bigger picture.
Awesome work as allways! Looking forward for the conclusion.
this is awesome, and im only at the opening!!!
Why is Blackthorn in this game? He was banished from Britannia before The Guardian showed up, so he has no prior connection to The Guardian, i.e. the game’s de facto antagonist.
I was a little surprised that Spoony didn’t bring him up back in Part 1, heck, I was surprised he didn’t bring Blackthorn up back in Serpent Isle, since he was actually mentioned as having joined a group of monks and attained inner peace and balance or some such… only to then turn around and work for the Guardian here in IX, and the implication during the cutscene where Avartar gets dragon’d is that the Guardian and Blackthorn have a deal. Blackthorn helps Big Red, he gets to rule Britannia as a reward.
And in the exact same cutscene, the Guardian twirls his non-existence moustache and tells the audience that he planned on betraying Blackthorn.
Heck, notice how Blackthorn is wearing an eye-patch in this vid? That’s because in the cutscene where we’re introduced to Raven, she sliced out his eye while saving the Avatar’s dumb self.
Oh, and I think it was implied that the Wyrm-Guard were under Blackthorn’s command, though I may be mistaken about that. It’s been so long since last I played this.
Blackthorn’s only mentioned in a book in SI, but he *is* mentioned, yes. How he returned to Britannia is never explained, or why he ended up working for the Guardian or leading the Wyrmguard.
The game has a lot of holes.
Oh no the guardian is mooning Britannia! Somebody get Sam Stone. No wait get Link he has some experience at stopping moons.
Just to add to the excitement:
I still haven’t played IX. I think I did about 5 minutes of the “run around the Avatar’s house on Earth” stuff, and then quit.
But – betrayal is the right word here. I grew up on Ultima. I started playing Ultima III back when they were bootlegging the 5.25″ disks for the Apple II computers (where if you used a hold puncher you could make them too sided oh hell yeah), and Ultima IV changed my life.
I’m serious. I was a kid raised in a religious fundamentalist home, and that game gave me another way of looking at the world that my brainwashing kept out. Instead of a wrathful god who was going to kill me for even thinking about a nekked girl – there was this idea that you could base decisions off of simple virtues: upholding Truth, Courage and Love. Perhaps no better than some philosophies – but it helped.
And to wade through Ultima VIII, and then see what happened in Ultima IX. Yeah. Betrayal. It could have been a great story of someone redeeming themselves after destroying an entire world to save two, or of someone who has reached the pinnacle of existence sacrificing it all.
But – no. And for that, we mourn.
Wow, Ultima lets you kill children? Even now, most games (Like Fallout 3 or Skyrim) simply won’t go there and make children artificially invincible.
That’s why I got the killable children mod.
NOW who’s sweetroll was it, Billy? WA HAHAHAHAAAA!
Personally, I like how Fallout 2 did it best – you can kill children (and there are a couple of pickpocketing little farts in one town that really tempt you), but do it more than once and you become loathed by everyone, even the slavers, whoremongers, and druglords. You are literally regarded as the worst person alive.
My awesome quota has been overfilled.
For the last part’s opening I want to see Spoony with a metal band on stage singing Betrayal and headbanging!
I noticed an in-game typo at 26:28
It says: “All life in Britannia destroyed”, while the Avatar says: “All life in Britannia WILL BE destroyed”
Hair’s looking a lot better!!!
When it got to that annoying kid, I was actually chanting (from the Outlaw of Gor episode of MST3K): “Kill him! Kill him! KILL him! KILL HIM!”
This is why a sick little monkey like me is not the Goddamn Avatar.
Loved it. Looking forward to part three and future stuff!
Oh my, fantastic review as always. And holy hell, the glitches in the game are amazing. I knew they were bad but not that bad. So glad it was one I missed.
I haven’t even watched the entirety of the first minute, but:
THE OPENING SONG IS FUCKING BRILLIANT! THIS NEEDS TO BE AVAILABLE AS AN MP3 AT ALL COSTS!
It’s from Youtube, you can get from there
I don’t know if I should put the Link in. Just tip in Betrayal – Spoony – Ulitma in and you got it, the Creator put even an MP3 already in the Description.
(now, if that would happen to the X-Com-Song… miau)
As a quality assurance tester, I am both appalled and humored by the sheer amount of glitches in this game, just from the review alone. I’m tempted to play the game myself just to see the glitches that Spoony didn’t show, just to remind me how pointless my job is sometimes. Either they weren’t tested, or EA Devs didn’t feel like listening to their QA testers… no big surprise there.
Anyway, hilarious review, as always. That ending part really has me pumped to see the conclusion to the retrospective and I’m sure it’ll be great.
I’m also a QA tester, and I feel the same way. And based on my own experience, I doubt it was the devs that let it go out the door like that. It was probably the EA executives, who looked at it and said, “Meh, those bugs aren’t all THAT bad! We have a deadline! Money is WAY more important than quality!”
I am curious. How does one go on about to become a QA Tester?
I think it’d be very interesting to know this. Please reply back any of you two once you have read this message.
Thank you ^_^
This cover picture makes Spoony look like he’s getting pounded in the ass by the Guardian.
Seriously, the Avatar is leaning into the Guardian’s crotch!
Glad someone else saw that :D
I thought I was the only one… Thank god I’m not
i loved that opening, there are times when my fandoms have been betrayed almost as bad as this and now there is song i can play on a boom box in from of their studios
Fight the Guardian! You shall win this Spoony because you’re the goddamn Avatar!
I love your Ultima reviews, they are your best ones ^_^
The funny thing about this video is my computer crashed about half way through. I could be on hours all day, but the second I start watching a video that’s longer than 15 minutes long, my computer throws a damn hissy fit!
The giant crabs die quicker with basic magic rocks thrown at it, which you can use from the beginning of the game. The Simon Pegg and Nick Frost insert was amazing! The whole review was just straight up awesome and entertaining! Im surprised you didn’t use any magic in the game which you slowly unlock with each temple purified…
I think the reason the guardian doesn’t kill you is because he is a poet or an artist, he wants you to fight him in an epic battle to the death because he is really into the whole good versus evil thing. The guardian is a master mind and a fan of your life story and struggle against him, because lets face it, he could kill you and all of Britania at anytime he wants to with a wave of his hand…
Wow these comments are all mixed up… O_O… OR, they are organized by how many positive “^” thingies they get?
Enjoyed the review overall, but I feel you kind of overplayed the “I’m not entirely sure” Lord British gag. Just a suggestion for the next episode. Anyways, looking forward to seeing the conclusion.
Well… that was a boring, repetitive waste of 30 minutes of my life… I liked it when the ultima retrospective was educational and not just bitchy nit picking.
I love how there are clips and “meme”s from lots of other spoony reviews here… as if they were joining to fight the ultimate bad game
I just need to get this off my chest:
Please reduce the number of references/in-jokes in your reviews, especially
references your already used more than thrice. References are not funny they are just references, sure we all enjoy a good circle jerk now and then. But these references have become predictable and predictability is the death of a joke.
And finally: you don’t need storlines or sketches. They may be mildly amusing but overall break the flow and require more effort on your part for a relativly low payoff.
Still i enjoyed the review and i am glad spoony seems to be doing better.
Made my day.
Maybe you should have had a crash counter there? Crashing and saving all the time really explains the time consumption of reviewing u9.
Why haven’t you done any crossovers with Phelous? Do you even like him? Don’t worry about the raging fans. :)
He isn’t on TGWTG anymore. No more circlejerk crossovers (praise Allah)
I wouldn’t say that. He is still friends with Brad, Joe, and Linkara. Just because he isn’t on CA doesn’t mean they can’t work with him.
So fucking what if he is not in tgwtg? Is there some kind of internet law that prevents you from being in same crappy review with other people?
You’re making the assumption that Spoony actually plays the games he reviews. BZZZT. He “borrows” from LP’ers for most of his footage.
>MOST of his footage.. So he does have some random footage of his own? also sources plox. ty.
Huh. I don’t know if anyone brought this up in the previous commentary, but I might as well bring it up now…
Now, Spoony showed one of Ultima 9′s Easter eggs in the first part, the dismembered body in the fridge. But what he didn’t mention so far this time was another hidden Easter egg in the game.
In the completed game, there was a dungeon under Castle British, where an ‘imposter Lord British’ was being imprisoned. If you got into his cell and talked to him, you’d hear something interesting. Namely, that his voice actor was Richard Garriott himself.
That’s right, as an Easter Egg for the game, you found out that Lord British was being imprisoned under his own castle, and someone else was using his name to rule the kingdom. Can NOT make that up. And with all else that’s messed up in these games, it just makes FAR too much sense. In the twenty years, even Lord British was imprisoned, and the Guardian has taken over everything. He’s played with you from the very start, and the ‘clueless, unhelpful’ Lord British you’ve been talking to is one of his MANY shills.
I can’t help but read that as a metaphor for EA taking over the series from him…
The musical sting during the brothel scene was taken from the song, “Love to You,” by the Beatles, of all people.
NO! God damn it all, blip, don’t fail me now of all times D:D:D:
So damn funny made me laugh so hard everyone wanted to know if I gone mad. Spoony once again succeeds at entertaining the masses and how he has a stronger mind then most gamers by being able to survive this atrocity to gaming.
This game has so many flaws I’m surprised the creators didn’t feel ashamed for getting there jobs and then using them to ruin a franchise. Also give that Red Bastard whats coming to him Spoony.
Yeah, everything’s cool, but it took more than a month to make the second part, and i’m sure it’s not even half of the game. It’s gonna be long(…
As always man you are epic! xD
can’t wait to see spoony launching oreo into the guardian’s face as punpkinhead dances to incredibly inappropriate music!
Wow, talk about suicidal overconfidence. Even if they don’t know you’re the Goddamn Avatar, they’re still unarmed civilians trying to kill someone in plate armour with a big-ass sword.
They do this in all games.
Take Skyrim, for example. I was running around as a freaking werewolf, mauling people, pulling their heads off or ripping out their throats and some twinks with small knives run up to me shouting “Hah! like the bite of a flea” or “What ya gonna do, ay? what ya gonna do?” only to be violenly slaughted by the huge powerhouse of a wolfman.
People THAT stupid deserve to die, again and again and again!
What I love is in World of Warcraft is that some enemies trash-talk upon entering combat, which sometimes results in an enemy I kill in one shot telling me I don’t have a chance against him as he’s dying.
There’s at least one Wyrmguard that does the same thing; as he’s turning into gory mush his “I shall take your head to Lord Blackthorn” speech just keeps going on and on…
Jesus I take back what i said about ET for the Atari. This game sucks balls like a fuckin cheep hooker on prom night! HOW does someone go about fucking up a game this bad, and I’m not even talking about the franchise betrayals! ANY game that crashes that many times, and requires that kindof saving is an abomination on its own, but when you get fuckin bodies and shit like that moving around after they’re dead for no damn reason you know you’ve picked up a steaming pile of shit!!!
You left out “What were they thinking with this shitload of fuck!”. Stay original, brah.
Original… there is no fucking original!!!! Every combination of cussing has been fucking claimed by one person or another in every form of media where cussing is god damn acceptable!!
I just noticed the title card… is the Guardian Anal raping the Avatar?
I know! I saw it too! :D
Worse yet, the Avatar is LEANING his ass into the Guardian’s G-spot. And smiling, like he enjoys it!
This is how you fight a giant crab!
It seems the only thing that could have saved this game was amnesia…I don’t mean for Spoony but for the main character. Think about it…if the Avatar genuinely didn’t remember his past then suddenly every continuity error could actually be a plot point, a jarring contrast between what the player remembers and what the character is told to be true. Tie it all off with a big reveal and you could have a half decent story…
The funny thing with your comment is how it proves that just about anyone with five minutes to think can come up with a far superior plot than what hit store shelves for $55+ (in 1999, mind you)
Nice extra touch at the end with the more “personal” material. It strings everything along in a really excellent and dare I say, emotionally compelling way. I am very excited to see how the review ends and how Spoony chooses to publicly confront these issues. The ending to this episode was easily the best thing that Spoony has written, imo, using actual emotional drama instead of long lists of swears (which are good and funny in their own way). In conclusion, I give Spoony a high-five for tackling his recent issues in a very public, appropriate, dramatic and entertaining way.
This was funny and well worth the wait, and the ending was rather dramatic almost as if this is about to get really damn serious. I can’t wait to see part 3 dude!
A minor detail I thought about the clips you have used: Have you edited out bits from the voice clips to make them shorter, or did they only voice certain parts of the dialogue in the game? Wouldn’t surprise me, as the video really shows how unfinished the game is.
Still, visually speaking there are some design choices that I kinda like and I feel could have had some potential. I particularly like the look of the Drake Guards’ armour. Maybe with a lot of tweaking and polishing, and a story more in line with the previous games, could this game have been salvaged?
In other words; if this game had been completely remade.
To answer your first question: it was fully voiced-over, bits were edited out for what I can only assume was an attempt at keeping things as brief as possible.
Whoo! o/ Glad to see the delay wasn’t longer than a couple of days.
Maybe the guardian can only remote kill those who are his servants? Maybe he implants them all with some magical thingy?
Couldn’t you have run away from the boy asking for money? I mean, I don’t know if you could, just asking.
The Tidus part reminds me; Have you ever heard that laughing part in Japanese? It’s actually even worse! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik4JI4D7rZQ
So…. The Guardian brings up that only Spoony’s rage has gotten him this far… And there was a tiny subplot involving the Warrior with a red lantern ring working for the Guardian… Is he gonna try to recruit/make Spoony into a red lantern?
Well that’s my theory at least…
Awesome video, Spoony! Worth the delay.
Awww, the guardian is just a giant dick Spoony! Don’t listen to him! I like your reviews and Vlogs where you gush and you’re enjoying yourself too :( You’re not just a monkey that we want to dance for us! So there!
This review had me dying at so many points. I was squeeing as I waited for the “Orbital Wobble” reference… because how could any-one NOT make that joke at that point? Also, I could watch those glitches all day.
Keep at it Spoony! I think you’re pretty keen so don’t listen to Andrew Dickman’s animations any more ok?!
The reason that crab took so long to kill, Spoony? You forgot to attack it’s weak point for massive damage.
Actually, he did miss the joke because you can flip them and kill them with one hit to their belly…
Before even watching this, I know I’m gonna love it! Danke spoony, danke!
Wow that game had some fucked up glitches or what?
You have to wonder why the corpse slide on ground glitch happens. And how they encounter a wall then spin around an go the other way. In fact it seems like the corpse pathing is better than the actual living enemies in some cases that can only step back an forth lol.
EA man. How many franchises, and dev studios have they killed anyway?
I have to say though i’m legitimately interested in the games plot since the whole thing with the Gargoyles makes it seem like its building up to a twist. It would have to better than KOTOR’s though to make up for the rest of the crappy game.
Can’t they just fall on the ground and die? Who would program an innate object in the game to move? Pardon my lack of programming knowledge, but that doesn’t seem like mere incompetence. Someone had to consciously decide that the bodies should move. This seems like active sabotage, or some kind of deliberate Easter egg.
Watching this a second time, this time actually watching it rather than it running in the background as I work… That opening shot of Spoony looking horrified at the crazy flying wizard who beeps more than the Road-Runner? For some reason, it looks to me like Burton is equally traumatized. No, seriously, look at the lil’ guy! He looks just as wide-eyed in disbelief, and HE’S A ROBOT WITH ONE FACIAL EXPRESSION!
What does THAT say about this game?
There is high probability in my humble opinion, that whole “kicked out of CA” is actually not true and is set up for Ultima 9 review. Previously I thought its a strange coincidence, but now, with this ending it becomes really fishy. We will see.
Spoony said on twitter that him leaving CA is not a “Work” so it’s legit.
well, if he said that on tiwtter that OBVIOUSLY is a proof, right? wink wink. Well, I do think that he may left CA, but circumstances are different and this is just staged for his utlimate review of Ultima 9. That maybe he wanted to start thing of his own or finish reviewing altogether in the way he started it. Because honestly, I cannot imagine somebody putting his personal stuff inside the script. But, who knows, maybe I’m executing wishful thinking here. We will see.
So, is he going to kill himself or what? These last two videos have been barely veiled suicide notes.
Those are some really strange art cards your using for your Ultima IX reviews. Who made them?
Why did Richard Garriot think it be okay to be able to kill children. Not even the Postal games were that tasteless.
What ever pain Final Fantasy XIII cause you will be nothing compared to Ultima IX. Sure the former is boring but it has nothing to betray, it’s hardly glitchy and the game basically plays itself with the player having to walk forward and mash X over and over.
The Tydus part was hilarious, but come on Spoony, even you have to admit he is a way better character then any “Character” in this pile of crap of a game.
I dunno. I think I’d take the Kevin Costner tone over endless whining and nasal-laughing.
And the dress code, as awful as it looks, does not hold a candle to any Nomura-inspired travesty.
I think he’s finnaly cracked guys…
Oh my god.
I’ll skip mentioning the crap this game is doing and comment on the review part only, okay?
I am kinda sad that the counter wasn’t continued, but I can understand why you did that. Theoretically, you could slap the word on the entire game.
What made me frown a little was that seemed to be somewhat angrier at your audience then usually. I guess that there are still several people getting on your nearves among us? I hope that’ll change soon, since that can’t be the way to thank you for what you do.
Since, really: I can only speak for myself in this but I really enjoy your work. Even if I do happen to disagree with you once in a while I still like it.
In this particular video you had quite a few great refferences and the pacing worked well. =D
And the ending speakes of great story potential ^^
Also: The fact that you found a diffrent way to spell out “TBC” was awesome. It is to be continued all the time, but you made a much clearer statemand. Points to you on that one, sir!
One of the better reviews I’ve seen in a while. I loved the song in the beginning. Is it kind of sad that I sort of wanted to rock out to it? Also, what the hell? Was that a super glitch that you showed in the beginning or was that supposed to happen?
That was a lobster, not a crab, you can tell by the tail. /nitpick
Awesome review, Spoony! You continue to be awesome! :-)
Yet it doesn’t have a lobster’s antennae, and has a crab’s shell-like body armor, as opposed to a lobster’s carapace. It seems to be a combination of both creatures.
I have to agree with you Spoony, Richard Garriott is such a sick asshole for including gaming scenarios where you have to slaughter innocent children in two of his games, but thank god you don’t have the option to chain these kids in some dungeon and love them your w…
Oh… too soon?
Way too soon.
Have to disagree on the killing of children thingy, Everyone who has spent more than 1 hour with a child knows they are evil and deserve to be impaled with a sword or whacked into mush with a slegdehammer! Kill the little idiots.
is it possible that all this twitter drama and everything that followed is some kind of coordinated choreography around the 4 year anneversary of TGWTG? Re-watching the trailer it seemed to fit really well… Idk.
The problem with these sorts of theories is that even if Noah denies them as being such, people still think that it is part of the act.
I honestly don’t think the drama was staged. Some of the words flung got too harsh for it to have been an act. Maybe it’s just me and how I’d do things, but even if I’m acting, unless it is acknowledged before hand as being an act, like a stage production or a filmed drama, something that people go into knowing as being fictional… there are lines that I wouldn’t cross. Several of those lines were crossed, and LordKat’s telling Noah to off himself definitely crossed that line… very far across it.
Again, if this was something that we knew well in advance to be an act of fiction, those lines wouldn’t be there, but the very method, the constant denials of it being staged… I can’t see this being an act for the sake of a web-series storyline weeks in advance. If they DID reveal later that yes, all of it was staged, I’d actually lose some respect for the involved parties.
There is such a thing as taking an act too far.
But then, LordKat isn’t part of CA anymore. That’s the danger/beauty of a work, real reactions of other people join in with the kayefabe.
Ah, but Lupa also defended Scarlett, who also posted something, though the only thing I read was her thank you to Lupa and unless this was planned VERY far in advance, Scarlett’s name coming up shouldn’t have come into play.
Add in that Noah himself hurled abuse at his fans at a level that went beyond his usual ‘ah, you love to hate me’ style. I’m a lousy person at reading between the lines and judging how someone is feeling, even when face-to-face, yet even I felt that this was anger at what was happening. It was very much, as someone else put it, the actions of someone who felt backed into a corner and lashing out, not caring who was caught in the crossfire.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is all a play, and my autism ridden mind just can’t see it. It wouldn’t be the first time. But still, Noah has said, repeatedly, that this isn’t a play. No smarmy comment about it, just a simple ‘this isn’t a play’. That alone is out of character enough for me to think that it’s Noah and not Spoony saying such.
Guardian = awesome antagonist for Spoony. Can’t wait for part 3 :)
Awesome, awesome review. Well edited, with some great gags. While I miss The Irresponsibles, I love the new theme. Is that just for this review? Or a permanent thing?
I was actually somewhat surprised at your restraint in this. I really expected it to be wall-to-wall screaming and cursing, but you made some very intelligent, well thought out observations. You have proven again what an awesome reviewer and writer you are.
But when you did let loose…OH MY GOD! You are the most creative curser I have ever heard. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. And I REALLY don’t know how to feel about the fact that I find it kind of sexy *blush*.
My one complaint: the Guardian is a little muffled and hard to understand at times. Maybe turn his volume up a bit.
I think the guardian is trying to make Spoony a Red Lanturn
Oh. Oh wow. This game…holy shitpistols and cumguns. This is unstomachable. I never played the Ultima series; the only connection I have to it is solely through these reviews. As is the case with most things. Didn’t really have much of a childhood so watching reviews on stuff like this is kind of my way of connecting with things I should have been able to connect to. But back on track, perhaps it’s for the best; because this game…this, which is supposed to be the ending to a series that previously was actually very well thought-out and detailed…this is beyond fucking inexcusable. This game highlights all over again the thing what I have long since remembered; that EA is a fucking company of disgusting assclowns. Maxis. Bullfrog. Westwood. Now Bioware and DiCE. All these and so many more. Once-great studios of creative talent, sucked up and torn asunder by the titanic cock of EA and its money-grubbing corner-cutting franchise-ruining bullshit. Betrayal, you say. Betrayal is too soft, too gentle a word. The English dictionary lacks a word necessary to describe what EA does. Fuck EA. And fuck this game.
If I may say so, as well: I liked the parallels drawn between recent events with this game. Very clever. I can’t quite speak for everyone else but truth be told, it’s not your suffering that amuses me; it’s that you basically have a voice with which to scream at the shitslurpers who make these terrible fucking games, one that is far louder than mine. You are saying what we are all thinking. If we really wanted to go watching someone suffer, we’d all go and watch A Serbian Film or Hostel or some shit.
Keep screamin’, Spoony. We’re not laughing at you; we’re laughing in derision of those you’re screaming at. It’s all we can do; we’re the laughing audience, and you’re the mouthpiece voicing our thoughts in our stead. You’ve got a very unique position; there’s tons of reviewers out there but really, how many of them have your kind of your audience? You’ve got something good going, and we’re counting on you not to suffer but to keep on screaming because fuck knows we’d all love to scream with you, but, like I said; your voice is the volume of all of ours rolled into one.
Show goes on. I hope the Experiment does, too, for a long time to come.
-So child killing bad, raping people okay. Got it.
Nice review of a bad game, glad this is over though so we can move to other material.
because Zhargis has never in his life said anything bad. Its so rare to find a white saint of flawless morality, but lo and behold the new god of our order!
-Regarding some sort of difference between murdering children and raping anyone? No, i never in my life have been that idiotic. Thansk for trying, though.
I honestly can’t believe how good this is. I’m a LONG time watcher, and this is the first time I’ve ever made an account on any entertainment website to say something. I don’t ever even pay attention to comments either. This is great entertainment. Thanks, Spoony
Anyone see shades of Phantasmagoria 2 at the end there–ie, pushing someone until they snap and lose their grip on reality, allowing the real Curtis Craig–er, the Guardian–to take over? Especially with the glimpses of psychotic!Spoony at the end of Game Over?
Great review, as always–and very curious to see where this (dark) storyline takes us. If we hadn’t already been teased with FF XIII, I’d be seriously wondering if this was Noah’s way of retiring Spoony…
Great review, Spoony! A couple things:
- There’s a missing cinematic when you go from the Shrine of Humility to Ambrosia, which shows you go down one of the whirlpools. The last time I played U9, it seemed the cinematics had stopped working in modern Windows… Mind you, it makes NO sense that Hythloth is suddenly a sewer-like dungeon near Magincia.
- What, no Rapture jokes about Ambrosia? I actually regret that part of the game was so badly done; I could think of a few ways you could have really made it an effective story
- The crazy wizard clucking and making weird noises in the tower is the victim of some miscast spell; his journal is in the tower gives details. It was still weird to come across it in the middle of nowhere…
- The kid casting the fireball sucks, but they do lamely establish in the magic book that any spell can be cast from a scroll; the limits on magic are for casting without them
IIRC it’s established somewhere in the game or manual that anyone can use magic if they are negative karma (ie. evil), which is convenient for enemy mages. :p That little stringed instrument sound Spoony got for bedding the prostitute in Buc’s Den is supposed to indicate a karma increase.
Oh, and fighting the crab? The reason they take so long is their upper armor is nearly indestructible. The way you’re supposed to kill them is a sweep attack with a staff, which flips them over so you can strike their belly, which pretty much kills them instantly.
The combat still sucks balls, though. Later in Covetous, you have to fight ghosts who are REALLY hard to kill, especially since magic doesn’t work in the dungeon. (Potions or spells)
Oh good God, so many things I had already forgotten… The giant crabs are seriously one of the most difficult to kill enemies in the entire game. They are also found all over the world on beaches, they are easy to avoid and killing them is not worth the effort.
An even worse example of stuffing new monsters into the game for no good reason are giants which the manual calls “brutes”. You could’ve easily turned them into cyclops (which have existed in Britannia for several games) by swapping the head.
I called the Orbital Wobble line.
Anyway, we’re still behind you Spoony, you are not alone!
I was so sure we were gonna get a Majora’s Mask reference after that.
I did too. Come on Spoony sometimes the references just write themselves.
Oh my Spoony, you tease! This was hilarious, as was the first part. I almost can’t believe there was more child killing in this game, and so inconsistent with the game’s own story line…yikes! Lord British certainly does have issues!
Still! Wonderful review again and I seriously can’t wait for the last part. Something tells me it’s going to be EPIC!
I was honestly expecting a your not Tidus your Maechen joke! Also apparently orcs require a full Earthdawn quiver of arrows (40) to take down.
That or the ones wearing breastplates are virtually immune to them; just keep whacking that crustacean on its carapace, I’m sure that’s better than stabbing it in the underbelly.
Wait, where’s Spoony’s ank?
What’s an ank? Is it like a lightweight ankh?
Spoony, you are still my hero. Be brave young knight. Be brave.
Levitation bitches! :D
17:49- Woah, wait….the fuck! Why the hell didn’t anyone in the comments say anything!?!? THE GODDAMN AVATAR IS SOLICITING SEX FROM A WOMAN IN A BROTHEL! WHAT THE HELL!?!?! :O
Also, excellent way to end your review Spoony.
Not the first time that you could do it; heck, in Ultima 7 you could solicit sex from the same gender in a brothel.
Looking forward to three epic loved your bit with guardian way to build up the epic.
The clip of the giant thing in space sticking his finger down and the guy stopping it, what is that from?
The clip starts at 9:07
Will Spoony review Ultima Online and/or the Worlds of Ultima?
Depends upon if someone else does an LP of them first.
This game reminds me of some of the nightmare glitching games. I think the worst one for me personally was Summoner on PS2. It was a game by THQ, a company that seemingly makes only garbage, because this thing would freeze constantly, and the save and load screens were like 30 seconds to a minute long. Exact same problem as here, you need to save cause it glitches, don’t want to save because of the loading screens.
You know, if these children were the like of Skyrim, you’d be calling down fireballs yourself to extinguish their insolent tongues.
I can’t help feeling that some of the “Guardian’s” words were in reference to leaving TGWTG, but I’m not going to say it was done to be mean either. It’s in line with the character of the Guardian who you’re presenting better than the BETRAYAL that is Ultima 9.
I would like to see more videos, but it is at your leisure for us to consume and enjoy :3
Good job, and I can’t wait to see the conclusion.
Spoony should have submitted each one of those crash error reports to Microsoft just to make somebody there say, “Who the fuck is still playing Ultima 9?!”
LMAO! I would love to be the guy working at Microsoft that that job. XD
Actually no I wouldn’t I would rather be cleaning toilets at a hospital during a flu epidemic than have to deal with that crash error report issue.
You do realize that every single one of those reports probably goes straight into a giant, virtual garbage container, right? I would be surprised if even 0.1% of those things are actually read by someone at Microsoft…
That idea is both brilliant and hellishly sadistic. I thank you, sir, for letting me know that minds as wonderfully twisted as yours exist
Awesome review but Spoony seriously needs some hugs and lovin’ >:
Shit I know, The Guardien was not throwing any light punches with Spoony there, he just fucking wiped the floor with him.
This is why I like that in Fallout 3 killing children was something that could not be done in the game.
Ah yes. The wonders of 3DFX Glide.
If anyone was wondering why they didn’t last more than a few years (I had a Voodoo 3 myself), the errors ought to speak for themselves.
Sadly, the game runs much more reliably in Glide. This was all Direct3D; I can tell because you can’t count the frames-per-second.
No wonder it’s crashing all the time.
Sir. I had a shit day- and you have saved me. Your betrayal has led to my salvation.
Spoony, if you hit the weak spot of the giant enemy crab, you could’ve got massive damage. How much gold you got by killing the crab? $599? lol
I was expecting his to bring out the bow and hit it in the eyes. Take this Gohma!
9:07 WTF was that? It looked awesome.
This series of videos might just be the height of Spoony’s reviewing/snarking career. No way he’s going to be able to top this.
No offense meant, there. Just that I honestly think that for him, Ultima 9 is the absolute perfect storm of “series someone has been invested in” combined with “complete, utter, abysmal failure on every writing and technical level”. I don’t think Highlander can top this; it’s only got one really good movie, and the rest is either middling or atrocious. Final Fantasy can’t top this, because every game has been different, and made by different people. Ultima? Had the same guys on it for years, building up their universe….and then you can see the exact point at which it all just curls up into a ball, vomits, and dies, then is raised as a franchise zombie. This is once-in-a-lifetime grade material being worked with, here.
Mr. Antwiler, you’ve managed to hit every single point dead on in these last 2 videos, and it’s to be applauded. If anything, even with the running gag of “it crashes constantly”, I think you might have been TOO easy on Ultima 9 so far in terms of the technical failures. You haven’t even mentioned the horrible combination of corrupted save files and game/sequence-breaking glitching that can cause you to only find out your save file is worth nothing only after pouring thru a FAQ to figure out just how bad your game’s been broken.
(Assuming here he isn’t saving THAT can of worms for the finale.)
I don’t keep up with the Facebooks and the Twitters and such, and don’t know much about what’s happened “behind the scenes” lately. Hell, I think I’ve only commented on this site one other time. But if he WERE to end his series here, it’d be one hell of a high note to go off on.
You’ve done some pretty damned good work with this series, Spoony. Good on you.
Quick edit: For those who thought the Mass Effect ending thing was the pinnacle of “how bad EA might have butchered a series finale”, and who have never played or watched a Let’s Play of Ultima 9, you’ve got one hell of a “treat” coming…
Loved the review man have been re-watching the Ultima ones leading up to this hope to see three soon. PS crash gag was my favorite
I kinda miss the betrayal counter, though I understand why he ditched it. It was measuring quantity over quality.
Keep on Rocking in the free world, Spoony.
There’s a hidden easter egg with the avatar and the prostitue…I think he has to drink a bunch of ale before meeting the prostitute, and he wakes up to a surprise *grins*.
It’s a bottle of Serpent Venom (helps you out in the bedroom, if you know what I mean, mate). Feel free to try it, people *even more wicked grin*
In his reviews of better Ultima game, he says Ultima 5 is the best RPG of all time. I know it is the game every CRPGs can trace its root, and Spoony is saying this because he is a big fan of the series, but I thought Bulder’s Gate 2 or Planescape Torment was the best of all. I guess it depends on personal preference, but which RPG is generally considered as the best?
Well, B-A-ldur’s Gate claims major influence from Ultima 7 in the foreword of the manual so it really is just personal preference.
I mean I was asking what most people think is the best one. Off course everyone got their taste, but which game has the most vote from fans? I am talking about user reviews and scores from review sites like the metacritic and ign.
Off the top of my head, with no scientific research, I would say Ultima 7 is the most beloved of the series, with 5 being a close second.
We’re on a roll this month. Last week a reviewer called an ostrich an emu, today Spoony calls a lobster a crab. At least both chose closely related animals.
Oh, that lobster reminds me of this one game where you’d encounter boss monsters with high XP early in the game that you’d have to skip & backtrack to (& yes, you HAD to). What the hell game was that…So much running back & forth, no mounts….
That blue thing looked like a cross between a crab and a lobster….a crabster, if you will.
you shoot the bandit and the game crashes? wtf?
Ooh snazzy new interface, groovy. Liked the opening for this a lot. Was this game not play tested, the play testers high or did no one care? I enjoyed the review.
I really like where this is going. I’m really not one for characters conceived by internet critics/reviewers, aside from Doctor Insano.
Personally, I’m enjoying the direction you’re taking it by just playing “yourself vs. Guardian.”
You reintroduced me to Ultima, and I’d like to thank you for it- the good AND the bad.
Very good video, definitely looking forward to more from you :)
Thanks EA for ruining ultima and screwing over Richard Garriott. He even offered to come back and make another ultima game and they flat out said no(or fuck you). EA is truly the worst company in the world
How can they say no when he is technically the owner of the Ultima franchise?
Sure, he may have sold them the rights to a few games, but in the end, he owns ultima.
Even Garriott isn’t immune to criticism. The spectacular bomb of Tabula Rasa is testament to that. With his talents having waned any Ultima game made by him now probably wouldn’t be all that great
I would be as excited for another Ultima as I would be for a new season of Firefly: not at all. Just let sleeping dogs lie, I say.
Spoony don’t listen to that stupid red fuck. The fans love it when you talk about things you like such as Reb Brown movies and the good Avatar games or even when it’s things that suck like Transformers movies and the bad Avatar games.
You have been and still are entertaining and I will keep watching. Thank you.
Plus, his former coworkers haven’t abandoned him. He is just on a sabbatical. In my mind.
Kinda like how in “Swimming With Sharks” we are told that David Lean isn’t dead-he’s unavailable.
As a long-time watcher, I was disappointed by this video. You’ve done such a good job analysing this series of games – your ULTIMA IV review was particularly inspiring – but this was just a mishmash of boring observations and slackly edited reference jokes, with a meta-story that just wasn’t that interesting. I get that you hate this game, and the design is horrible, and EA are the ones responsible, but repeating it over and over again doesn’t inspire any sympathy; it just numbs me to all of that. Try to give us something fascinating to chew over, rather than just chewing it up and viciously spitting it back out. If you could end the retrospective on a bittersweet note that sums up what the name ULTIMA means to you, it would really go a long way.
I’m sorry, but as someone who played the Ultima series… No, a simple quick ‘Everything that Ultima 8 did, 9 did worse, only with a more ridiculous storyline and more ham-fisted changes forced by EA, leading to a butchering of the game that killed the reputation worked up over many great games’ will do justice to the horror that is Ultima 9. Spoony said it right when he commented how you have to see how good and bad the other games got to understand how HORRIBLE this game became. Ultima 9 is to the Ultima series what The Source was to Highlander. Only worse, in that there were more GOOD bits in Ultima.
Just… Wait till you see the ending. When he gets to the ending, you’ll understand what we mean.
Huh, whoops, thought I pressed post last time. Anyway, like the opening for this, groovy song. I enjoyed this review. Massive typing fail this evening
Sorry, I’m actually a fan of spoony videos but I have only seen the movie and videogame rants, could someone care to explain to me what is the deal with the friends and all? I have seen that Guy in the Glasses and stuff in his videos and a couple more people, but don’t get it. All the help will be GREATLY apreciated.
Keep on Keeping on Spoony. It’s been a massive rough patch but you still have friends that care about you and love the time and effort you put into what you do!
Seriously, you’ve provided the most information on Ultima 8 I’ve ever revived. Mad props man.
Wow, man, that’s a lot of bitterness. I know, you probably have too much shit to deal with, but please, Noah, take it easy.
EA isnt the worst company in america because of the mass effect 3 endings its the worst becase of this monstrosity
Ok, that glitching guy had me snorting
for like five minutes. Was he even supposed to be doing
anything in that ballpark? I know Exodus made all the spellcasters
mad, but… wow.
Nice metal-ballade intro.
Man, Dupre must’ve been special to you
if “What’s a paladin?” pissed you off that much. The more
I learn about him the more it hurts me too—that guy was the best
companion. He deserved better.
OH GOD, CRAB BATTLE! PROTECT YOUR EYES!
God, I HATE it when they reject the
correct answer simply because you didn’t go out and get it. That’s
bullshit. And Seven shrines to fix one by one? Do they even try to
convey urgency or change the difficulty and atmosphere like Zelda?
Anything else is just becomes grinding and busywork.
Man, how does that Wyrmguard get his
voice to do that two-tonal thing? Maybe that’s what granted him that
rank, not the extensive training and mystical powers.
Why don’t small things like pearls
stack? Was this before they came up with the stacking idea? Well the
gave was restarted not once but twice. Maybe they just had to abandon
logical backpack management in favor of getting it out in time for
EA’s unreasonable deadline.
Well, you did lose all of your
knowledge and gear and general badassery. Perhaps they think, and
rightly so, that your brain’s gone to pot and now’s the time to
“YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SHOOT ME,
AVATAR! YOU MUST APPROACH ME AS BEFITS AN HONORABLE COMBATANT!”
And now for the DEATH DANCE!
Well maybe they can only effect those
who fall under his influence, therefore he can only effect his
servants. Still, why didn’t he strike him with lightning like Batlin?
Wait, is there a gay prostitute option?
If there isn’t, I am sorely disappointed.
“That’s not important”—translation:
“we were too lazy to come up with a reason”.
The queen’s a giant blob of incorrect
grammar and clippi-ness!
…The Guardian’s prisons have TINY
I love how you’re pulling arrows out of
the magical ether that is somehow attached to your back. Quiver?
I don’t watch to see you suffer—I
watch to see you overcome.
Stand strong, Spoony One, it’s almost over!
Spoony… I love you, but I think a grass-type Pokemon would do you better than a water type. Maybe an electric type. <3
Source: I play too much Pokemon.
Also, having watched the whole review now……
I love you Spoony! I don’t watch you to see you fail or whatever. I think you’re wonderful. Your sense of humor, your talent, everything! Keep going Spoony! <3
I just noticed the Zero Punctuation Imp plushies on your shelf behind you on your left. Nice :) And I love your game reviews :P
Great review! I’m a huge fan of your Ultima Retrospective, and this is a great addition to the series! Keep up the good work!
Great, why did I watch this? Have to go trough the painful therapy to forget shitty game all over again.
But honestly, funny review. And the song was pretty fun too.
Nothing can stop Spoony, he’s the god damn avatar!
Thanks for keeping up with these, Spoony. :) As a long-time fan of the series myself, it’s been great to see this retrospective from someone else’s POV. You’ve reminded me of things I’d forgotten, loved, and facepalmed over, as well as many a nerdrage post of mine regarding Ascension, heh. These guys who never played the game as no idea what to expect of the climax — or the Guardian.
And people thought Mass Effect with its piddly 3 games ended in betrayal. :p They’ve seen nothing.
Bring on the enlightenment. ;)
Yeah when he raged against EA in Part 1 I didn’t get it, how could he be so upset with EA over this but not over ME3 (Spoony vs the Internet 3). I’m starting to get it though, this is much, much worse. This is like Highlander: The Source, a systematic, malicious tearing down of everything the fans loved about the series. I’m genuinely frightened of what’s to come.
You do well to be frightened. :/
Pretty funny episode man. Looking forward to the last part. Get Well Soon.
Whats a knight?
I’m amazed that you haven’t commented about the absurd plothole of Blackthorn’s presence in this game. I mean, Blackthorn was driven insane by the Shadowlords. He wasn’t a mustache-twirling villain, but an easily manipulated guy who tried to uphold the Virtues, and went too far because the aforementioned insanity. And now he’s working for the Guardian. For no explained reason. And lets not even go to how Lord British deals with his old friend who’s lost his way this time.
It’s funny though, to me the game barely crashed at all back in the day. I guess that I was just that lucky. Or else it’s the modern computers that can’t deal with this POS.
Also, please address the fact that Richard Garriott is imprisoned in Lord British’s dungeon in this game. No, seriously.
Glad to get part 2 sir. I’ve really enjoyed the Ultima Series review. I wasnt able to play a lot of different games in my younger days so its always cool to see your reviews on things I missed out on as a kid. 9 has been the most hilarious example of the ineptitude of EA and storywriting I’ve seen in your game reviews. Looking forward to the conclusion. Until then, there’s always the rewatching of Reburary to keep me occupied.
Also on a side note, is it just me or at Buccaneer’s Den when the Avatar is making the deal to aquire the Codex is that not the fucking Necronomican Des Mortis sitting on the desk on that small pile of books. Maybe its just bad graphic design or something. But…..it looks just like the fucking Necronomican!
Just watched it again. My editor sense was tingling. The Guardian clearly says Gilligan, and text crawl says Killigan on the screen. So which name is it? lol.
It’s Killigan (as other NPCs enunciate quite clearly) but it’s always sounded like Gilligan to me as well.
Great review hilarious!
Loved it. Cant wait for the finale.
he won’t go insane, not yet, at least this is still an RPG not F**king Final Fantasy 13
Okay… I just had a crazy thought. The part where the Guardian accuses him of being abandoned by his co-workers. That was clearly a jab at Channel Awesome. It appears at first glance that he’s dropping in some real life developments into this little drama.
But, what if it’s not?
What if, and just bear with me here, the whole “debacle” over at TGWTG is setup for part 3 of this. The big twitter war draws site hits and traffic for both sites. It help sets up a big finale for this retrospective. Maybe it’s all part of the story, and when it’s all done, things will go back to normal.
Nah, I’m just makin’ crap up at this point. Still, it sounds better in my head.
Oh wow how original. you are just the 500 poster who came up with these HILARIOUS jokes.
The video is amazing! I love the benny hill. Also, I love the sketch with the guardian. It made me laugh my butt off.
Although, with all the comments on recent drama in Spoony’s life… um… Spoony is a celebrity. Not all that different from Johnny Depp or Tom Cruise. Things happen to them but they are just entertainers that we live vicariously through when we need to be entertained. Spoony is a GOOD entertainer and his videos are some of the most entertaining bits of media I have ever seen and I am looking forward to seeing him in the anniversary vid and the cinema snob’s movie, and I wish he would get a role in a comedy as Dr. Insaino because he would be awesome at it. But I dont know him personally, and the drama in his life is his drama. It just happens to get published on forums and twitter which turn them into people magazine for the internet. Just viewing and enjoying his videos should be enough of a pat on the back without having to repeat what sooo many others have said in the comments.
Just wondering about this idea to fix these problems: having no great knowledge of the lands. Being summoned so long after the invasion. Having no powers. Not starting in Britannia.
What if this isn’t the true avatar. What if the avatar was killed between 8 and 9. And this is his reincarnation. That is why all the above things happened.
I NEED THIS MP3!!
Spoony’s Slash attack was not very effective against that Kingler x) Epic revew spoony, that benny hill-corpse thing almost has me in tears of laughter!
Does anybody know why that wizard during the cold opening was doing… whatever that was?
He was trying to make a flying spell and used bird feathers to make it ‘pop’; it worked too well.
I kinda want a copy of the betrayal intro song, if someone wants to put it into a full song and download, cause its actually really awesome.
omg I just love that betrayal theme song. Hope I’ll be able to download it onto my phone or something.
It would make a great ringtone.
What is this twitter fiasco? I’ve been watching Spoony vids for at least 2 years but I’ve never wasted time being involved in the “fandom”. Can someone explain?
He made a tasteless rape joke and it came back to bite him in the ass. After a short while, he started raging at fans and coworkers alike and it cost him his job. Though they say he left of his own volition.
From what I can tell though, his former coworkers are still his friends. He just had a bad day and it cost him.
Trust me, the tale is long, stupid, and you’ll truly feel dumber for having experienced it.
Ignore the “fandom”. Be a happier person.
You don’t have to kill the kids in that dungeon in Ultima V. You can just keep walking out of the room without even dealing with them.
So no more pathfinder? Actually I never liked that, but I would like a generic RPG-session, maybe with some of your fans? (Just be careful not to pic any of the autistic loosers from your forum, they will rage your ear of if they feel mistreated)
Pardon me, but I feel that you are using the word “Autistic” here as an insult, and calling someone Autistic as an insult shows your lack of intelligence more than I ever could.
I have Aspergers Syndrome, a form of Autism, so your comment offends me on an intellectual and personal level, and I must point out that there are plenty of people with autism that are perfectly capable of living in and being a part of society.
Furthermore, calling people with Autism “Loosers”, first of all, if you are going to insult someone, use proper grammar and spelling, “Losers”.
Second of all, do you know for a fact that people in the channel are Autistic? If you do, please name them for me so I can ask you to personally apologize to them.
And lastly, I don’t believe you are a bad person, it is possible you are misinformed, ignorant, and even unwittingly showing the stunning lack of understanding and intelligence that many people hate, even if that is not the intention.
Kindly do yourself and all of those around you a favor, get educated, learn something about the people you crudely insulted, apologize to them, and spread the knowledge that you acquire to others so that they do not make the same mistakes, because you might say something in just the wrong place, at just the wrong time, and end up making the worst mistakes of your life, all because you weren’t prepared to take responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
Just ignore Antiquaris. He likes to throw out terms like autistic casually as a way of insulting people he doesn’t like (namely everybody who disagrees with him.)
You sir are an inspiration. I too have Aspergers Syndrome, and people like antiquarius are a sad view on people. Thanks for saying this.
Yeah you are actually prooving my point here, with the wall of text and all.
I have hosted sessions with autistic people.You people are incapable of participating in a rpg session without starting to cry and/or getting into a righteous fury. We had to break of two times because a dispshit was getting worked up over the most minor error the DM made.
No thank you.
Then you know what you do? You get together a group of “normal” people and you create a game. You guys can sit around and talk smack about autistic people as much as you want, but what you don’t do is come to a site and bitch about a project that you didn’t like on videos that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. btw. I must ask what you thought of the review itself.
Seconded PeaTearGryfin’s statement.
And to add to it, think for just a second about what you are saying when you say those words.
“I have hosted sessions with
autistic people.You people are incapable of participating in a rpg session
without starting to cry and/or getting into a righteous fury. We had to break
of two times because a dispshit was getting worked up over the most minor error
the DM made”
Now, swap out the word Autistic, with the word, Black, White, Arabic, Chinese, etc. You sir/ma’am have just insulted everyone of that particular group, of which there are many different variety’s of people within that group.
To assume that because ONE person of that group did something that you were offended by, and then to say that all people of that same group thus are guilty of the same, that in a different context could be taken as discrimination.
In other words, the statement that you have made is disgusting in its fullest implications, because you easily could have said “All white people are rascists!” or “All Arabic people are suicide bombers”. The words “Slipery Slope” come to mind
And as to the “Wall of text” as you put it, this and my previous statement are not a wall of text, The Gettysburg Address at the Lincoln Memorial is a wall of text, the Vietnam Memorial is a Wall of Text, this? This is just one man trying to promote positive messages, and if you think I am using too many words, tough.
Ah, so you’re one of those “tl;dr” people whose heads overload if an argument goes past telling someone he’s wrong. Every time you talk smack about someone and that someone argues to defend his position, he’s “proving your point” by being argumentative. Because as we all know, when people are called losers, they should just stay quiet and accept it. Actually standing up for yourself is what makes you a loser.
In the realm of argumentative people, that’s known as a “self-fulfilling prophecy.” Being a broad-spectrum dick to a whole group of people and then predicting that these people will take slight and spend time telling you about it is up there with the Avatar being surprised that the Guardian has taken over Britania. No shit.
The problem with aspies is….They dont like to be wrong. And the DO like to give very long explanations why they are right. And the will get very worked up about it.
One could say thats true to every geek, but aspies are worse. They will easily antagonize a whole RPG group, and not even realizing it.
… Fuck you!
I actually DM a game every weekend, and I’m an aspie. Not only that, I’m the youngest member of the group too, so what does that tell ya?
While antiquarius does have a point about certain members of Spoony’s fanbase being complete abortions (aaaaand, bait), I do feel he could have worded his distaste for the autistic in a different way.
But I don’t get what is it with some of you. Treating autistic people (or people of different skin pigmentation, culture, religion, what have you) like special beings that must be respected above any other human being is just as stupid as treating them like crap. I deal with autistic people on an almost daily basis (along with people who suffer from various other neurological and/or psychological issues) and more often than not, these people truly, genuinely and vehemently DO NOT want to be treated any different. And that IS precisely what you’re doing. It’s like saying you don’t hate homosexuals, because you love them. You wouldn’t love anyone specifically because they’re NOT autistic, so why would you do the opposite? You do realize the discrepancies in your ideals, right?
Fighting an extreme with the other extreme is a pointless waste of time, and I really wish most of you would finally realize this so we could move on from an ideology that should have already ended in the 80s.
He mentioned that on Twitter. Something about none of the players wanting anything to do with him.
375 Comments, Does Spoony even read these things?
If he did, I’m sure there would be far more people banned.
over 500 now.
Good grief…I guess everyone is either starved for attention, or starved for the conclusion.
I think this review is progressing rather quickly and I for an am very gratefull. The Ultima 9 is the best culmination of Spoony’s hard work over the entire series. It’s funny as hell.
Thank you Spoony fordelivering such great content. I am 30 but never played ultima games besides underworld and a demo to ultima 8 – always wanted to but never got around to it. I wish I played all of them so that I could share your experience with those games but the review is a great reward nontheless> sorry for spelling, It’s late and I;m dead tired, but already watched the review twice since it came out – it’s that funny…
Wow, reading a bit about the history (of all this) I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Ya’ll crazy.
Thank the fucking fates you canned that Betrayal counter gimmick. What a terrible idea.
By the way, Noah, have you heard of the Exult project (http://exult.sourceforge.net/)? They’re creating an Open Source, multiplatform version of Ultima 7. Since you are a computer science major who has declared U7 to be your favorite game of all time, one wonders if you might want to contribute at least as a tester.
To Noah’s fans: I hate to seem mercenary but if you want to cheer him up, you might do what I’m about to, namely donate. Link at the top right.
Exult is a failure; it started around 2000 yet still can’t get things like AI and weapon damage correct. They’re too busy adding BS like hotkeys to the save menu to worry about making the game work correctly. Also: U7 works perfectly in DOSBox if you happen to have a decent CPU.
Oh my god, I died at the flying glitching bit.
The glitches in Ultima 9 are so hilarious. XD
If anything I would only play this game JUST to make a video montage of all the fails and bugs it has.
Maybe the Guardian’s insta-kill powers only work on those who serve him.
looking forward to part 3.
Hope all is well, as I don’t know most of the going ons of this career. But for what its worth, whatever problems and issues you have, chanes are there is someone worse off than you.
I have really enjoyed this quest into the past of the Ultima series as well as the sense of humor Spoony brings to the table. Just want to say thanks for the fun adventure and interesting history Spoony, your work has been a joy to watch, and cant wait to see your conclusion.
I love the tone of helpless despair; “I am NOT the false prophet!”
Nope. He’s just the helpless passenger stuck in the back of a speeding Plot Train.
Co Workers. Co Workers??
I see what you did there Spoony. Sometimes I keep thinking his departure from TGWTG is all one giant ruse and he did this to expand his plot in the Ultima Retrorspective. If this is fake, this will be the greatest prank on the interwebz. But it’s probably not true and he actually did leave TGWTG for good. Either way at least we still get to see Spoony reviews.
Also what the fuck was the mage doing in the beginning? That’s one of the biggest WTF moments I’ve ever seen.
i hate to burst your bubble, but Spoony has actually said on Twitter that the departure from TGWTG is real. It is not part of some elaborate scheme to add a plot to a review.
Well if it’s a prank, of course he’s going to say his departure is real. That way he, you know, FOOLS people by saying it’s real. I sometimes thought it didn’t make sense for them to have one of the most talented reviewers on the site to go away and that they would try to keep him around. I always thought they were to hasty to suspend him for something kind of minor, but oh well. Like I said, I don’t care if it’s a ruse or not. As long as he still keeps making reviews, it’s fine.
See also: The Indoctrination Theory.
good shit spoony, lookin foirward to the next one!
This review wasn’t all that funny or enjoyable. The rage seemed a bit… empty. Almost as if the hatred for the piece of shit that is Ultima 9 has run its course. I felt more disappointment about the game than any actual anger. Spoony’s always taken a scalpel to games, pointing out flaws that we might just overlook and move past, like “sphere waves”. This games flaws are so huge they aren’t even funny. Its almost like reviewing a 5 dollar downloaded game as if it were bought from Gamestop for 60, at least as far as the actual quality of the game is concerned
On the off chance you read this Noah, thank you for the review. We care more about you than getting our daily fill of SpoonyRage, so if you need to take time off from being that guy that gets really pissed off about shitty games, please do. At this point I’d love to see a happy/excited Spoony play really any game. Hell, we’d probably watch the shit out of you playing through Final Fantasy 4, Chrono Trigger, or really any other decent game. Maybe talk about what makes some games good?
I’d love to see him play through Persona 4. But I wonder if he’d rather everyone experience it for themselves, instead of spoil any of it.
I can’t help myself but this part feels dragged out. It is too much raging over bugs and (again) complaining about the fact that you should have started with a level 20 character everyone should respect. Overall… not that funny.
It’s not so much the lack of starting as an úber level 20 badass… it’s the lack of a reason WHY you aren’t. Serpent Isles at least gave a reason why you didn’t start off with your equipment. Even Pagan you could argue the Guardian, as well as stripping Avatar of his equipment, left him sore and aching, what with the massive drop into the sea in the opening.
Here, Avatar is supposed to be a demi-god, and yet he’s pathetic. Had it shown the Guardian cursing Avatar and draining him of his Titan of Ether powers, then fine. Hell, maybe they could have shown that he had yet to master his powers as Titan of Ether, but they never bring up his status as such, which means that in the writing of this comment, I just put more thought into the game than the developers did.
The complaining about the bugs… yes, he did drag it on a tad much, but as someone who has played the game, he didn’t even get started on how bad it was if he had it even half as bad as I did.
Best. Themesong. Ever.
Best. Opening theme. EVER. And a good thing you left the counter gag out of this one, it really distracted me from the previous part. All in all a good video!
Blah blah, recent events blah, but most importantly, above all… Hell yeah! Spoony’s back baby! Loved the Betrayal song and can’t wait to see how this game could possibly get any worse. You have both my congratulations and condolonces on having to play (and keep replaying judged on the number of crashes) this diarrhea stain on the toilet bowl of the Ultima series.
Blah blah attack mode blah.
this video was amazing spoony keep up the good work. i looke forward to ff13
Great video once more! So far I enjoy the Ultima Retrospective the most…
By the way: Killing children in Ultima IV decreased the value of one of the virtues. Unfortunately I forgot which one… I never kill children, so I do not need to remember ;)
I am truly fascinated by your hair. It’s beautiful.
15:42 no Spoon. i used to be an Avatar like you, But then i took an arrow to the dick
I’m disappointed. I still don’t know what a paladin is. Well, there’s always the next episode. Maybe we’ll find out there.
Did…did Noah leave Channel Awesome in order to serve a plot point for the Spoonyverse? About how he’s all alone? Because I wouldn’t put it past him.
Great ending..Was thinking “Wait..are you still talking about this shit game or something else?.”
Since everyone’s talking about it anyways, I’m adding my two cents. I finally found a page that gives the posts everyone’s talking about, for those of you who want to know just exactly what the hell everyone is talking about.
Having read the posts I want to say I’m with Noah 100% on general fucking principle.
At first I thought you said or did something kinda shitty in a really dark moment while drunk or something. Not something I’d find unforgivable, just bad. I’ve done that more than a few times.
But after seeing this shit? Yea, fuck them Noah. Only castrated losers should be expected to behave like a constantly apologetic, self blaming, masochistic bitch. People that want to make you into a castrated loser aren’t your god damned friends.
I’m not wishing you well with your depression. I’m telling you you WILL get through it. Because at some point in this hellish experience, by some god damned miracle you developed enough of a backbone to stand up for yourself. You put yourself over the “friends” that wanted to make you hate yourself. You made the decision that being able to be comfortable with yourself was worth more than anyone else’s feelings or how inconvenient and/or painful it will be for you in the mean time. It only gets easier from here. Trust me, I know.
Ultima 9 though does not get easier from here. It is a blood sucking whore who’s soul destroying shittyness only gets worse the more time you spend with it. Kind of like Obscurus Lupa.
P.S. Should I pick up Timbits on my way to Burlington?
I’ve been scouring that thread and am looking for the part where we should feel bad since Noah has been having issues lately (lately=since he uploaded his first vid to YouTube). I’m not seeing it.
I didn’t say I felt sorry for him. I said I respected him,. Put that in your pipe and blow me if you’ll pardon the mixed metaphor.
Thanks for the link to that forum.
this is one of the best comments i have read all day.
I liked that one a lot. I’ve been watching all of these reviews and despite not having ever played the games, I think that the depiction of how terrible the series became over the sequels is very apparent. Keep it up, I can’t wait for the next video!
Fuck yeah! That intro is awesome!
“Betrayal” = best theme song ever.
So is Random Spazzing Floating Guy Making Baby Noises ever going to be explained, or was that just a Prometheus plot device?
Spoony I know nothing in that end scene was easy to write, just know that as one of your fans I will still watch your show, atleast until YOU FINALLY DEFEAT THE GUARDIAN, see you next week
Seems EA is doing another ohh hi fans of games series, we own the intellectual property to here´s another KICK right between the legs and now just to show you how much we care about you we´ll give you a knee in the groin to.
………..fuck you EA.
I wonder is Spoony will sign up for Ultima Forever beta so he can do another episode of this review series.
checked it out after what you said, read the beta sign up page, lost faith in humanity
Don’t get me wrong but i don’t like the Ultima 9 review as much as i
have enjoyed the earlier ones. Not that i don’t like the jokes or
production. It’s just that i like hearing Spoony talking about something
he enjoys. I know that negative reviews get way more clicks and what
not but Noahs passion for Ultima and RPGs in general is very catching.
Noah, if you read this, make a review or let’s play for Betrayal at
Krondor or some other game you like. Would be nice. Oh, and come over to
Austria again. I missed you last year cause i’ve been at Gamescom.
God, this game looks horrendous…
And +1 the children thing. People always complain how you can’t kill children in the “Fable” universe, and I always have to ask “what the fuck, people?”
As has been pointed out many times: you do not have to kill any children in any Ultima (including this one!) whatsoever.
Was that hooker voiced by Milla Vodello from Psychonauts?
The worst part about this game is yet to come…and that’s when you find out where the guardian came from. For those that don’t know…he’s supposed to be your “evil side”, removed from you when you officially became the Avatar in Ultima IV. What. A. Load. The whole POINT of the series was that you could still do bad things, evil things, but that you ultimately CHOSE good over evil, and acted as living proof that being a genuinely good person didn’t mean being some abstract figure. Being an “Avatar” was a simple as being kind and decent to others. But this total literalization of…this just…it TOTALLY misses the point of the series. And it also ignores the fact that the Avatar HAS done stuff like stealing or lying about his loyalties in games like Ultima 7 and Serpent Isle and the like. Even if we were to ignore Pagan (which I wish we would, a game that doesn’t give us ANY chance to do morally right actions), the Avatar’s done some shady stuff before, he’s not PERFECT! Nobody is! The point is we TRY to be, constantly, every day, to be just and good, THAT is what being an Avatar is about.
Lalalala, can’t hear you asshole! Lalala!
Keep doing what you do
love the show
is time to relax a little, and do comedy
cheer up man
simple comedy that we love
im not gona make a long comment slash letter
so i end this with simple words
you reflect my generation hope to see more of youre work for years to come
Lady British? Odd but isn’t that because Garriott owns the rights to LB? Whatever, man, whatever…
yeah, sounds like time to fire up the betrayal counter again.
Seriously, I posted something about this on Richard Garriott’s facebook, in the hopes that he’ll reply and flip his shit
YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND, AND NOT ALL OF THEM ARE DOGS.
Excuse me while I go hit the Donate button to give you some money, because you deserve money.
What is the scene at 9:10 taken from? Looks cool.
Scenes are really all the game has to it, so I wouldn’t let myself get fooled into it.
It’s a fun, over-the-top japanese action story, don’t get me wrong. If you can fathom buying a game to mostly do Quick-Time Events, and you enjoy overexagerated anime-like battles (see: Dragonball), this is very likely the perfect game for ya.
Spoony, just In case you wanted to check this out. The new Ultima game announced by Bioware. :)
Actually it’s being made by Mythic (makers of Dark Age on Camelot): EA has just been going around slapping the “BioWare” name on other development houses they own (see CnC: Generals 2).
Awesome job as always, very entertaining video.
How is Spoony making money now that Channel Awesome made its very stuppid decision of letting him go?
Can anyone that Spoony listen to please talk to him about funding his projects on KICKSTARTER?
The man got to eat and his work is simply amazing.
I´ve read some people saying that the good comments come form people whom want Spoony to get happy. I don´t get it, can´t we like Spoony´s videos anymore?
Not eveyone like Lupa or Jesuotaku style of comedy, I myself prefer good ol´ heterossexual nerd humor, just like Spoony does.
The guy is talented, live with it.
The utter bile and spite you emit is simply extraordinary. I haven’t see that much hate since a one-legged sea captain was trying to fuck an albino whale with a spiked iron dildo the size of Milton Berle’s cock.
I’m normally not the kind of guy who rags on a game for graphical limitations…but the scene in 9:50 where she phases her arm in and out of her head made me laugh.
It’s hardly unique. Working titles were Ultima IX: It’s Always Dark and Ultima IX: Hands Through Heads.
Whatever happened to Ultima IX:Crash Report?
That one was covered by the earliest title; Ultima IX: This is Really an Alpha but We’re Going to Charge Premium Price.
Awesome video! I was laughing so hard in certain spots. I needed that after a long day of work. Keep them coming.
you know a new Ultima game in the work its free to play mmo also its by Bioware
Jealous of your Puri- what? This is the same character who talked about how he “kill(s) people because it’s the only way (he) can get an erection” and about how many prostitutes he’s killed? I’m just saying I’ve always found that he was the Avatar of virtue in our world a little odd.
Im pretty sure prostitute murder erections is one of the eight virtues, I mean thats what I learned when I was a kid.
Pretend to have reviewed everything related to Ultima
EA Announces new Ultima game even though the odds were just not into that.
Bad Luck Spoony.
Apparently, there’s going to be a new Ultima game. So, even once you finish the review for 9, this work of yours still won’t actually be done. I’m sure Angry Joe already told you, though.
here’s a comment that’s actually about the content of the review, rather than an attempt at sucking spoony’s wiener through internet comments.
i never played ultima, even though i did have a computer in the early 90s and am about spoony’s age. so, i can only make this observation based on what spoony has said about the game. that said, based off of that information i have to say that i disagree with one of the flaws he mentions about these games. that flaw being how the guardian can kill anyone at any time, based off of his killing his servants when they ‘betray’ him in some way- so why doesn’t he just kill the avatar that way?
because what spoony has showed of this only shows him doing it to his own servants, i have to say that it could possibly be explained by saying that the guardian DOESN’T have the power to kill anyone in the world instantly, only his servants. maybe part of being a servant of the guardian entails that he casts some kind of spell on you, or maybe he just does that without them knowing. however they got in touch with the guardian in the first place maybe made them vulnerable to him in a way that gave him total access/domain over them, which wouldn’t apply to the rest of the world.
i’m just basing this off of the same type of concepts which occur in other fictional works. if the only people the games ever show him kill instantly are his own servants, then i think it’s a bit of an assumption to say that he could just use that same magic to kill anyone and everyone.
I think that would make sense that way. Only those who serve and or worship the Guardian can have their lives taken away. Batlin was also a servant even though he was trying to defeat the Guardian by becoming immortal so I guess his killing power works against those who recently rebel against him too. IF he could kill anyone he wants, there would be no reason for him to go through the Black Gate if he could talk and kill anyone he wishes so yeah it only works on his servants.
Well thought out but your efforts are in vain; The Guardian kills some random good-guy NPC later in the game.
http://www.gameranx.com/updates/id/7915/article/bioware-working-on-new-mmorpg—ultima-forever/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gameranx+%28Gameranx%29 you may wanna check this out if you’re not aware of it’s presence. Bioware presents: Ultima Forever. MMORPG
EA Mythic is makeing an ULTIMA 4 remake !
WE NEED SPOONY ON THIS ASAP!
That ending part, to me, was a genius transition. True win! Respect!
I was a bit disapointed with the first part, but now the lols are here stronger than ever. Can’t wait for the final part!!
Hey Spoony, seen UltimaForever.com yet?
“The first great Western RPG has been lovingly restored in Ultima Forever
– return to the Ultima series in BioWare’s new cross-platform action
RPG. Accept the challenge from Lady British and save the land of
FUCK EA/BIOWARE! FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM!
Actually Bioware is still pretty good. Now that I know Biowares involved I have some hope for this.
Hey Spoony…first off great review. But, I have a quick question. Did you hear about EA making another Ultima game called “Ultima Forever: The Search for the Avatar”? If so, would you ever consider exploring the game?
Everyone; give spooney money. That is all
You know what you’d get if you crossed Ultima 9 with Mass Effect 3?
“What’s a Palaven?”
Just hit me in the Garrus reqruitment mission.
Ultima 4 is being remade by EA Mythic! Called “Ultima Forever” free to play
We need a Spoony-preview-rant on this ASAP !
Soooo…. Yea…… any comment on that new ultima online game announced?
Good vid, I’ve enjoyed watching all your Ultima videos. It’s so weird watching such great games degenerate into this. lol
Amazing, simply amazing how completely derailed a single series can become. It’s also rather telling that your review shows a much better quality-to-resources ratio than the game being reviewed.
This game is crazy, absolutely mind-splitting crazy. And not in the good way.
At least the other bad games you usually deal with could stay running long enough to longplay.
Anyplace I can get that intro song? Seriously. It’d be fun to have on my PC!
After Spoony has finished with Ultima 9, I would love to see him review a really shitty film that was also reviewed by MST3K…
ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The Wild Wild World of Batwoman
It is so bad, that it makes Batman and Robin seem watchable (and I’d rather cut off my penis with a chainsaw than watch that shit ever again)
Aw, I liked the betrayal gag, especially when it went BEEETRAYYAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!! Anyways, funny thing, every since I’ve been watching your vids I’ve been seriously getting into retro rpgs, like the old final fantasies, I actually considering to play a bit of Ultima here and there. Anyways, hang in there, it’ll be over soon, I hope.
‘What would Lord British think of his Avatar now?’
Well… probably something along the lines of ‘I very much approve of the righteous genocide the Avatar is committing. Don’t forget to stomp on their eggs and kill all the younglings.’
I mean, Lord British is an intolerant and racist asshole. Why the fuck should he care that you just murdered an entire race?
He’s NOT, actually. It’s just the way Spoony likes to portray him because he likes to make the game look even more ridiculous than it is. The fuzzies from the earlier games DID survive, they became the Emps in Ultima VII, so no mass genocide there. Furthermore, after the Gargoyles became accepted citizens of Britannia, Lord British was quite charitable and friendly towards them. Also, he’s always been very concerned for the fate of his people in these games, in comparison to ALL of the rulers on Serpent Isle, who are 100% pure bags of dicks.
Wow, that’s a unsuspected twist in Spoony’s meta-plot. Hold your ground, Spoony, we’re all behind you.
The reason why everyone liked Betrayal Counter is because of this kick-ass yells which turned into a kick-ass song just now (although more like a chorus of a song, it’s only 30seconds. I wish I would hear the whole song with verses and everything).
PS: If that whore had Russian accent, then I’m a paladin.
Goddamnit how many comments are there gonna be about the godamn new Ultima game!
what scene is that movie at 9:10 from?
For the hell of it I counted the BETRAYALS. 65 for this vid, give or take.
Hi Spoony! Great episode. :)
I love your D&D shirt in this review. In fact, that logo was super-familiar; I’ve always known it as the dragon logo for Carnegie Mellon University’s School of Computer Science (http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pattis/advising/T%20Shirt%20Vote/index.html ). Apparently, it’s the logo for the 1987 D&D International Convention also; not sure what to make of that fact!
Can someone please tell me at 9 minute of the video, where does that clip come from? The 2 gods battling.
Asura’s Wrath just came out this year
While this game does indeed look awful in its own right, even beyond its uncountable betrayals of its loyal fan base, as a neutral 3rd party observer I am having trouble telling if it really is that much worse then Ultima 8: Pagan (to which I am also only a neutral 3rd party observer of.)
Both seem to have the dumb click madly and stun lock your opponents form of meaningless combat consisting of a single chop move.
What 8 had in exploding chests and impossibly bad isometric platforming that forces one to save constantly, 9 has in spontaneous crashes and other crap.
Both have dumb poorly thought out or uncompleted plots with inconsistencies relative to the plot of the games that come both before and after them in addition to damaged internal plot consistency and logic.
Both 8 and 9 turned the game into a solo effort despite the fact that it had always been an adventuring party game series up to that point (which means that this betrayal actually started in 8 and not 9)
From what I am seeing the issue that clearly sets 9 ahead in its failure is the complete betrayal of the story and fan base to this point. But looking at 8 (again I must admit I have never played either) it seems like the only thing that stopped the same level of betrayal then was that 8 was taking place on a different world. From what I am seeing I kind of feel like if 8 took place in Britannia one would also being seeing things along the lines of: “What’s a paladin?”, “What is the codex of infinite wisdom?”, ect… Fans might not see this the same way – and perhaps they are correct – but I would argue that it is because they are too close to it, they don’t want to see the desecration and betrayal of thier ultima series before 9 rubbed their face in it so hard it could not be denied any longer.
Thus, at least in my mind, the important question is not what happened between 8 and 9, but what happened between 7 and 8. Going from 7, what looks to be one of the better ones of the series (though clearly not Spoony’s favorite for numerous reasons he has already given), to 8 strikes me as the largest leap down in quality, consistency, and care. Meanwhile what happened between 8 and 9 just looks like a simple and natural progression stemming from the typical corporate thought process of: “hey they bought 8, lets do it again”. Essentially in seeing you review 8 I am actually unsurprised by 9, but the collapse of all quality and everything else in 8 was surprising to me after seeing you review 7.
Again though as a non-player I fully admit I could be totally wrong on this, this is just what I am seeing from my detached, 3rd-person perspective on the mater.
I’ve said this a bit before, and I’m going to say it again now. Spoony hasn’t finished the review, so some of the things that fans of the Ultima series TRULY hate haven’t yet appeared. Not quite yet.
On a technical and game-play standard, yes. 8 and 9 have similar problems. Bad glitches, horrible scripting, botched storyline and distinct removal of the characters from what’s their norms. And yes, I do feel 8 is given slightly more slack for the fact that it’s set on another world, another dimension, and as such the Avatar is doing his vastly out of character actions out of desperation.
But the point you kind of missed is this. These were the eighth and ninth installments of Ultima. Each of the games could fit, in a way, in a three act structure. And combined they worked as a set for a trilogy.
Part 1 – Before the Avatar, the hero is just a man, learning his place.
Ultima 1 – The journey begins, the hero goes to fight an evil
Ultima 2 – As a result, things get drastically worse, as a greater foe messes up all of time.
Ultima 3 – The greatest challenge is revealed, and the Hero must gather allies and defeat it before it can destroy the world.
Part 2 – The hero become the Avatar, and faces his expanded world.
Ultima 4 – The quest, not for fighting evil, but to become good.
Ultima 5 – Specters from the past return, and the Avatar faces that his teachings can be corrupted.
Ultima 6 – The greatest conflict is revealed, and the Avatar’s quest is not to fight evil, but to bring peace and prove himself to be true.
Part 3 – The grand threat is revealed, and the true conflict opens. The Guardian’s challenge.
Ultima 7 – In a world that has left him behind, the Avatar must prove that he still has relevance, and that the common religion is corrupt.
7.5 – And from there, discover that he still had more to learn, and he has to save the cosmos from problems he’d never considered, let alone solved.
Ultima 8 – Stripped from home and brought low, he must rise through desperation to find a way back to save Britania…
Ultima 9 – What’s a Paladin?
Yeah. Put in context, even eight has pardonable parts. Even the story is acceptable, if dumb and obviously rushed. 9?
Well, wait till spoony shows you the ending.
Oh my God, I still see red whenever I think about the fucking ending. People who bitch about Mass Effect 3 having a bad ending haven’t seen anything until they see THIS crap!
As a fellow casual observer, between my own research and experience, I arrived at the following conclusion.
Short version: “EA happened. And they fucked it all up.”
I know it’s kind of the bandwagon for this sort of thing, this year especially, but really this is EA’s fault. It seems awfully coincidental that the instant they acquired the Ultima series, was the instant that it went totally to shit. I wasn’t even aware that Origin systems went under because of EA until Spoony started his series.
Westwood was the company that I knew and followed that was destroyed by EA.
And their destruction isn’t solely at the feet of EA (but they do carry a lot of the blame).
EA bailed Westwood out after an especially expensive game bombed on them. But then EA went and did what they would quickly become infamous for: Taking newly-acquired assets and running them into the ground with inhuman timetables and terrible direction.
So now, I have no pity for the company. They’re a company based not just on creating products, but have been actively *DESTROYING* gaming culture.
Richard Garriot is by no means blameless; it was his only good game series and judging by his career choices, he didn’t do anything relevant again after Ultima, but the damage he did to his own series is pittance compared to how it was rushed into a grave in two titles.
Ultimately there was less they could do ‘wrong’ with U8: Pagan. It’s on a different world, all new characters, its own lore that has little to no connection with Britannia. While U8 barely felt like an Ultima in many ways (art, animation, no party, no portraits, jumping, set PC…), from a story and lore perspective it was hard for it to actively *betray* the spirit of Ultima.
As for U9 Ascension, it’s back in Britannia with familiar places, characters and lore…most of which is/are being butchered. There’s *so* much more they could do wrong with Ascension being back in ‘home territory’, and they did.
I didn’t like U8 much. It didn’t feel Ultima. But it didn’t feel like it was crushing what I loved about the series as thoroughly as U9 did.
Some people may wonder why Spoony feels uneasy about killing artificial children in games (I guess he hasn’t played Skyrim yet).
Well, take a look at this…
At the end of the mission, Spoony discovers a makeshift graveyard where the children who were sacrificed by the cult are buried with the books on their graves; listen to the tone of his voice.
He is deeply affected and disturbed by the very idea of any killing of children, even fictional ones.
Also, his brother, Miles, is a cop, and I’m sure Miles has dealt with cases where children are harmed or killed, and Spoony would have heard about it.
Spoony may act like an ass on times, but I admire and respect the fact that he is totally against child killing, even in games.
I recall seeing an interview with Richard Garriot where he addressed the specific issue of being attacked by children. Apparently he was making Ultima IV and was running out of things to put in dungeons based on his limited pallet. He used the same icon he had for children without much thought and it wasn’t until he had it test played by his family that he realized that it was disturbing to players. However his position was that no one is required to kill the children, they could run, put them to sleep with a potion or spell etc. It was the player’s choice to determine their course of action. He put an aggressive child in every game from IV on. So what does it say about the person who can think of no other course of action with an aggressive child but to stick a sword into them?
In LP SWAT he was hamming it up as The Spoony One not as a real person. Who cares to watch someone random guy play a game if he does not make it entertaining. And I don’t mean a game which you love or be obsessed about.
You know, I dunno if anyone else has brought this up or not, but even in the context of this clusterfuck of a game, it’s details are screwed.
Here’s specifically what I mean, The Codex of Ultimate wisdom has the cross on it, not it’s actual symbol. The symbol that is CARVED into the headrest of Lord Brittish’s throne. It’s right friggin there! Every drop of “i’m not entirely sure.” I can see it. How, just how, do you fuck it up when your point of reference is Right…THERE!
Thats all I have to say, patiently waiting for part 3 of this, as well as anything else on this site, because unlike anything EA makes it’s coded from the ground up to be awesome, and problems are actually fixed.
This review series is making me want an Ultima 9 fighting game. The weird glitch wizard is an air combo specialist and the giant crab is the final boss. “What’s a Paladin?” would be a solid projectile super.
So…. am I the only one who doesn’t subscribe to Twitter? I have no idea what the “fight” was about with TGWTG. Perhaps I’m also one of the few that doesn’t really care.
That’s not to say I’m quite insensitive. It’s just… I come to Spoony’s website for his updates. I always have. Makes zero difference to me whether his content is available on that website or not. I often even prefer his content to what is usually on TGWTG.
Yeah, Spoony updates sporadically…. But at least it’s not as bad as Angry Video Game Nerd. I’m not even sure that guy is still updating with content at all.
In any case!
Whatever happened with them, it’s between them and Spoony. As long as Spoony continues producing content, on a regular basis or not… I’m satisfied.
I always worry when Spoony has personal issues, but as far as I know, he’s never asked me for advice or even for emotional support. So, I’ll let his REAL FRIENDS and his FAMILY cover those bases. I’ll do what I can to support his income. I’ll watch his videos more than once. I’ll send people to his website to view content, and I’ll help his income by watching his ads. It’s what I can do, and it’s the best thing I can think to do for the guy, no matter what is going on.
I’m pulling for Spoony in the only way I know how and the only way I should. Spoony will work it out or not. I know he will eventually. Whatever went on, there probably won’t be any hard feelings later on. Let everyone work things out.
FUCK YOU EA! YOU RUINED ULTIMA!!!
I hate to break it to you Spoony, but that was a giant lobster, not a crab. Look at the tail.
Hmm, I’ve played Ultima IX for three times. Unlike Spoony there are in fact some parts of the game I like. The first is the dungeon design, that gives the dungeons an individual look. Some dungeons are full of monsters, other dungeons have more puzzles. The second is the design of at least some of the towns in the game. Especially Yew with all his tree houses (unfortunately there is no explanation why Yew looks this way – it never looked this way in the past). And third there are some parts of the world (especially the mountain area between Yew and Britain) that where just fun for me to explore. And yes, there are hidden caves and treasures here and there.
One suggestion: If someone really wants to play Ultima IX despite his tons of crashing bugs, then play it with the “dialogue patch”. At that time it was one of the most famous fan-patches, that altered about 80 % of the story in order to make more sense. With the patch there are also a lot of references to the things that happened in the older Ultima games including things like answers of the questions, what happened to certain people after the Avarats last visit. For example: Sherry the Mouse, Spark, the rest of the Fellowship and so on. They even tell about a whole war that happened during the Avatars absence with the forces of the Guardian (that came from other worlds), while the actual Britainnia is in a state right now where the forces of both sides are exausted right now so there are no actual fightings. Oh, and the Gardian doesn’t want to just destroy Britannia anymore. Even Blackthorn is a lot more “grey” in the patches version (trying to play the Guardians servant again in order to acutually save Britannia from him in his own way … of course without Lord British and the Avatar who are in his eyes a mayor problem and no help). Completely unlike the original Blackthorn of U9 who is a “pure black” dumbass again (completely ignoring his visit of the Xetra Monks in Serpent Isle).
Oh, and as far as I can remenber there is no “What’s a paladin” and no “I’m not entirely sure” in the patches version anymore.
Havent ever played any of the Ultima titles but ur enthusiasm for the good and utter disgust for the bad just go to show that the friends i had that played ALL of these, like there were frightfilled hurtled masses feverishly reading passages from the bible with full knowledge of a giant hand coming down to save them.
If The Spoony One needs a vacation, u got a place to stay in New Orleans. Burton is also invited but he has to keep his mouth shut (he cant close his mouth!) lol no joke
JACK BURTON LIKE A MOTHER! google JINX PALM video for the song by DoomsDayDevice
BIG TROUBLE LITTLE CHINA RULES! and so does the Spoony One! all hail one of my favorite ass holes!
A little addition to my last posting: The lobster/crab/whatever was so hard to beat becaus Spoony did use the wrong weapon. Most of the enemys react different to different weapon types. The lobster for example is almost immune to two-handed weapons that slash the enemys. On the other hand it is relatively weak to one-handed swords. Using a relatively strong one-handed sword against lobsters is a relatively fast way to get a huge amount of money in the game.
Why is the Guardian’s plan to just kill everyone? Last I checked he liked to corrupt worlds into mockeries of their former selves. Why all of a sudden does he just wanna kill everyone?
I get it though. I mean it is easy to understand why The Avatar has to ask stupid questions and it’s obvious they made this game to attract new Ultima players, but it not only pissed them off it especially pissed off older gamers who knew the story well. Ironically this was supposed to attact new players probably because Ultima 8 was such a failure, but it ended up pissing off even more people and ended up killing the franchise.
Don’t ever let EA touch another classic series. EVER. What they did to Ultima, they could also do to others.
What EA did to Ultima, they have already done to others.
There’s a list of developers who were rushed into a grave because of EA’s scheduling and mismanagement.
His reviews have become more bitter and mean spirited than ever, it’s too much
i liked his calm but still annoyed approach in the past years.
So Spoony since several of your complains are about how ignorant the Avatar is of the world, do you think it would be less terrible if they had added a scene where they said the Avatar somehow for bs reason lost most of his memory of the land?
The trouble is the old “you’ve got amnesia ’cause of being bumped on the head, etc, etc” explanation is so worn out that it would have been better to stick with what they had.
I think what Spoony is really getting at is that the writers/developers either didn’t know about the previous games, or simply (and more likely) just couldn’t be bothered coming up with plot/script mechanisms to introduce various aspects of the game to people new to the series. They simply didn’t care about what they were producing it seems.
What I would not give to play in Noah’s pathfinder game…wake up to an NPC and go “What’s a paladin?” despite the words being clearly written on my character sheet. : D …offerings of food and drink will then be sacrificed to Noah to prevent my death (violent at that) at his mighty hands.
yeah, i can defiantly say that this to you Spoony. Is what Other M, mass Effect 3 ending and Michael Bay’s Transformer films are to me. I have nothing but contempt for them.
Looking forward to the next part. This is good stuff.
Other M is garbage. Cheers!
A lot of the comments seem to stem around people debating on whether we should say, “cheer up, Spoony!” or not. I’ll try to talk about JUST the review, as I should.
- I remember Spoony mentioning during the FF10 finale commentary that he’s actually scaling down the storylines from that review on out. Safe to say, he hasn’t, and I’m kinda glad. So what if his life isn’t perfect right now? So what if he’s going through major challenges? The greatest comedians of all time used their own hardships as comedic material. Just look at Richard Prior.
Taking the challenges of your life and distorting them through the prism of comedy is actually a form of therapy. One, it disrupts the negative emotional pattern that the person goes through over and over again, and two, it distances the person from those negative patterns. The more Noah can ‘Spoon-ify’ the setbacks in his life (ie, converting them to storyline), the more he can reflect on them from a third person, and maybe that will give him the perspective he needs to move forward. Okay, I guess this DID fall into the ‘should we cheer up spoony?’ debate, and I guess I better just finish the thought…
- Should we cheer up Spoony? Why not? As long as it’s in the form of GENUINE SUPPORT for his work. A blind and hallow ‘pat on the back’ is, in fact, a form of pity. So, did he produce a great video for us?
- ABSOLUTELY. Not only in the tie-in of the storyline but the punchlines, fluctuation of emotion, and his natural comedic wit, this was a well-made video, on par with the course. I’m sure this is NOT an easy video to make, with the game crashing over and over again, and the allure of ‘LEGO Batman 2′ to distract him, but he did it, he made it, and hopefully this serves as momentum to finish the game off.
“Gotta say….I love your work…keep it up….” – Spoony’s Sephiroth.
The only thing I have been able to conclude is that Spoony is either burnt out or he knows he doesn’t have to try as hard.
Whatever the reason, he does good work when he does it, and nothing else is of any further concern to me.
Spoony, you havent lost it bud. good stuff
If you ever need a handy-j, i know a guy in arizona that can hook it up.
I think it’s a Betrayal that the Floor never attacks you in this game.
I am kind of curious who did the cover for these particular reviews. They seems so different and unique, and the drawings look like they were drawn in artistic chalk or some other kind of pencil. Not saying they are bad, I like them, but I just wanted to know who drew them because they need a serious kudos.
Also, on another note: how many betrayals do you think “What’s a paladin?” counts for opposed to the continuity of the tapestry? I mean, I really want to know, it has been bothering me for some time lol. Imho, I think that “What’s a paladin?” = 75 betrayals and the tapestry = about 5-10? I dunno, I might be pulling numbers out of my ass.
Awesome review as always, Spoony, I can’t wait to see the conclusion to this madness. Totally loved the betrayal theme song, it was really fun.
I hate you so much spoony…i cant stop listening to the intro song O_O.
P.S. Pidu means party in Estonian, so I’m guessing the Melvin is having a party :P
hey spoony got a challenge for you, i bet you cant not swear for a entire review
newish ultima game coming out
all i can say is lay british and multiple Avatars? what the F*%#
We know. Check further down in the comments.
They were show casing it at Comic Con this year.
I just assumed that the Guardian could only kill his agents because of some magic spell or item on or in them that was set up before the started working for him. Said spell/item is also what allows him to see and hear what’s around him
Ahhhh, nothing like sitting down after a long day and zenning out while listening to my favorite internet reviewer, although it would be nice if there was some newer content as I have probably watched all the content 2 or 3 times now over the last few years. Bring on some more pathfinder or ultima… or anything! Seriously Spoony, if you reviewing solitaire I’d probably watch it.
You know you are still not abandoned. It is nearly a month since this was released though. There is a comment on your international trip on the newer video but I still await the resolution of this review and all your future works. Its not like sanity hasn’t been lost before look at the origin stories for at least one of the Dr Insano’s.
Spoony, is it at all possible to poison Lord British prior to entering the final ‘dungeon’ of the game, or is the old blastard bastard bollocky balls required to ‘gain entry’ to the final part of the game?
If he’s not needed, then I’d love to see you get ultimate revenge on the biggest doink of the land.
This game would be like watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and seeing Luke Skywalker go:
What’s a Jedi?
What’s a lightsaber?
What’s the force?
What in the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?
Your knowledge of the force shall be great!
Who are the Sith?
What’s a Death Star?
What’s a Star Destroyer?
Who’s Emperor Palpatin?
Don’t like murdering children? Play Drakengard *evil laugh*
You know, these Ultima Reviews of yours are really, really good stuff. I love all of them, in fact I’ve watched them all probably 4 times solid. I never played the Ultima games as a Kid and The only one I ever did play was when i was a teenager, and that was Ultima 9. As soon as i got the the bandits in the forest i lost interest in the game and was entirly confused.
Man, If I were Richard Garriot post-release of this shit I would probably just kill myself.
I gotta ask, and maybe this is indicative of too much time playing the Elder Scrolls… But did anyone else see the giant blue crab scuttle up at 4:59 and think “God dammit, not another mudcrab!”?
FFS people, just watch the video and enjoy it. Spoony is a hilarious dude, he does these videos to entertain people, if he wanted therapy he’d get a professional, he doesn’t need/want half his fanbase psychoanalyzing him…
Now only for Five Buck on Good Old Games dot Com !
Re-live the most horrendous RPG ever made.
There is something I’ve got to tell you. I don’t know if someone mentioned it already, but..:
This Giant-Crabbe-Thing.. This is one thing which makes this combat-system more varied. You have to use a one-handed sword to stab the crabbe. It will die within only ten seconds :)
There is a guy in the armoury who is explaining this very thing to you. For example you can much more easily smash a skeleton in pieces with a staff than with any other weapon.
Besides you really skipped a cut scene in which the Avatar is jumping into a sort of vortex of water, which leads you into this underwater doom town called Ambrosia. It’s odd how you get there anyway.
So but thank you to explain the whole Ultima series so precisely, because I only played Ultima 7 and Ultima 9. Now I understand the whole plot way better than before. Thank you for this :)) It looks very professional, by the way. My great compliments to your really worthwhile efforts :)
Might you consider reviewing the Gothic series? That would be really awesome :)) and funny with you :)
My best wishes :)
There is something I’ve got to tell you. I don’t know if someone mentioned it already, but..:
This Giant-Crabbe-Thing.. This is one thing which makes this combat-system more varied. You have to use a one-handed sword to stab the crabbe. It will die within only ten seconds :)
There is a guy in the armoury who is explaining this very thing to you.
For example you can much more easily smash a skeleton in pieces with a
staff than with any other weapon.
Besides you really skipped a cut scene in which the Avatar is jumping into a sort of vortex of water, which leads you into this underwater doom town called Ambrosia. It’s odd how you get there anyway.
This game seems like Morrowind’s retarded cousin.
so based on the angle of the shot he’s in… is the guardian in your room like 6 inches tall?
great video spoony
At least FFX didn’t ruin 20 years of backstory.
No, it just ruined it’s franchise.
And then FFX2 burned the remains…
And FF13 Lightning Returns pissed on the ashes.
No shit. I don’t know why some people insist on using it when both Blip and Youtube work WAY better.
Giant evil columns.
The explanation works for everything!
The Betrayal theme is hilarious.
DON’T KILL CHILDREN DON’T RUN THEM OVER
LET THEM LIVE THEIR LIVES
LET THEM GET OLDER
BRENDON: “I’ll do the community service. And mom, I’ll even help pay you back. But, your honor, I want you to know one thing: I have learned *absolutely* nothing! Good day.”
BRENDON: “I BELIEVE I SAID ‘GOOD DAY’!”
Not to mention that the game could crash WHILE you’re saving…
Maybe I’m evil, but I don’t see anything wrong with killing kids in games, especially in Fable where you’re supposed to be able to do whatever the heck you want. And in Skyrim, the tiny bastards will straight up attack you! I don’t care how young they are, if they try to kill me I should be able to cast a flame spell and fry the little shits into charcoal!
No, that’s a completely valid point; the only thing evil about it is … The game, is so inflexible that they won’t runaway or yield. (Something that games today don’t really feel like including either >.< )
That’s a moral line a lot of people feel uncomfortable crossing, but in open-world games it really does make sense. Even if it’s against the law in some nations to depict that sort of thing. However, in the Ultima series you’re supposed to be upholding certain virtues and slaughtering children is definitely against them. ;)
If you have the PC version of Skyrim, there is a mod called “Stranger Danger” where you can kill or pickpocket children.
The only…ONLY child I killed was Braith, and that was by using the console command.
I then dumped her corpse on the doorstep of her home as a reminder to her parents that their daughters bullying came back to bite her in the ass.
I am being honest, I don’t watch your reviews to ‘see you suffer’. You’re funny and intelligent and have knowledge about a lot of things I’ve never even heard of.
Totally same goes for me. I love your reviews and you’re just really awesome…and wow I haven’t had so much compassion for someone “having to” review so much crap shit, than for you, in really a loooooong time. Especially when you explained how you’ve played Ultima with your brother and how it represents your childhood it almost got me weeping to retrace how much this game disappointed and hurt you.
How many times does Spoony say “fuck” and all its variations in this video?
The voice acting. SO HORRIBLE. The guy who dies while trying to explain the Guardian’s ‘plot’ sounds like he was just given a cue card and not even told that his character died in mid-line.
I do have an alternate explanation for his death, mind. When he tried to reveal the ‘plot’ to the Avatar it suddenly dawned on him how utterly incoherent and idiotic it was, and the sheer shock caused him to expire from a massive aneurysm.
Love the “Yakety Sax” with the corpses sliding around – brilliant!