Jesse! NOOO!

What about Gamera, who is really neat and full of turtle meat!!!

After watching you read through those books, I really want to right a campaign that ends in a fight with the Undead Loch Ness Monster. I have to agree with you on this one. I have been in quite a few campaigns where the DM gets excited to throw us in the water so we can fight about 5 lizardmen or a giant squid.

Spoony made a joke about boning his dog. I’m not sure what to say.

Can’t you adjust monsters or make up your own? Seems like a simple solution. Then again, I know jack about table top beyond Hero Quest. XD

Tako the octopus is in D&D? Does he cook dinner for the adventurers and have constant kitchen mishaps?

…Oh please oh please let someone else get that joke. Oh god please…

Funnily enough, the one time the GM got us near a body of water, I started freaking out while everyone, even the GM, looked at me like I had gone crazy. It probably didn’t help that I was playing a beguiler prestiging in mindbender, and was thus intimately familiar with how unpleasant mind fucking can be to the recipient, not to mention that I had done a quick skim of the Lords of Madness after my character read a book that involved aberrations and quickly stumbled across the Aboleth. We were in a swamp, but once we went through these bushes, we were in a clearing akin to the trippy moon garden from the end of Majora’s Mask in that if we tried to leave, we just reentered the clearing. The clearing featured a giant white tree next to a large body of water, the middle of which was significantly deeper; naturally, since I detected traces of aberrational magic on the tree, I promptly begin freaking out and tried to warn everyone to back away from the water. Things only got worse when some of the party members started grooving with the serene vibes emanating from the place. The crowning moment came when fish started telepathically communicating with us, telling us that there was no way out and that they had all formerly been other creatures that had stumbled upon the clearing and decided to remain as fish; the whole thing could have been out of that one Star Trek episode with the spores, and I was at this point convinced they were slaves of a nearby Aboleth meant to pull do to us the kind of mindzonking Spoony’s party almost got from the Caterpillar in Dungeonland. We eventually had to turn into fish in order to find a clue underwater that helped us escape, but I came so close to getting the entire party killed by plotting to destroy the tree, which we had been told would summon “the protectors” that it was not funny. Well, not until I started doing spot checks for Aboleths underwater every 5 seconds; then light finally dawned on the GM and he had a good laugh.

So yeah. The one time we got near water, and it was supposed to be a peaceful noncombat encounter, yet my paranoia almost got us killed. Go figure.

I know exactly what Spoony means. In the early Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy games, the monsters with the cheapest status effect attacks were all water monsters or water-type dungeon monsters.

They would always throw stuff like poison, paralysis, and sometimes zombie/undead at you. They also had stupid high agility, which means they dodge anything other than magic or physical attacks with high HIT stats. Cheap mothers, they are.

you can just tell he’s having fun, reading those DnD books, we’d play with you man.

I love how Big S uses Counter Monkey to tell his fans stuff that pretty much every one who plays TTRPGs has learned the hard way. Most of the time all it takes is for me to read the title to make me grin and “aaaaaw shit, yeah man i know!”

Still, its nice to hear him talk about it, just so I can hear his own examples.

God dammit, Spoony! Fuck Springboard!

How much money is Springboard giving you to torture us? HOW MUCH FUCKING MONEY, SPOONY?!

Somebody told me about his friends “water world” campaign in D&D, it lasted 36 minuets for 4/6 to die and the others to back out.

anyone else getting a tiny as fullscreen picture?

Thinking of starting in the D&D world and all I found are good advices from “Ye Olde Spoony One”. Thanks for everything, dude! :D

I was wondering.. How its hard to get a situation where water is close? Spoony makes it sound like it was some mission impossible.

I mean sure that boat is safe (and obvious as hell) way to get them near water, but cant dm just use their imagination and pull something like = – a quest to sunken temple/castle, – some town which has been swallowed by marshesh, – have an event where they end up into a haunted harbor, filled with damn undead and seamonsters, – need to go into sieged castle through hidden waterway which leads through a cavetunnel near some larger lake/river..- there are quite a lot of chances to use those beasts, (If they can be used.. dunno.. im not a dm nor had chance to play dnd so dont know the exact “rules” for campaing setting). Hell.. if you are bored you can have a backstory where a damn tidal wave has swept over an ancient city, sunkin it undersea and campaing is to go and loots its treasures or kill a beast which ravages nearby lands and hides in there, but nobody has earlier followed or gone to that area because it is haunted/dangerous/chewbakkasaysso.

Hell.. Id love to see a campaing going through haunted harbor since it can be made hard as HELL.. I mean, if you make it a big harbor city which has canals and shit, you can literally fill it to the brim with any sea, land, and undead creatures, make the last area of that place filled with beasts of hell so that they are the actual cause for the city turning into such place. Safe point changing can be just made a switch between day and night or cleaning a haunted inn and turn it into safehaven with daily limited stockpile of usable goods which return there because the whole damn place is stuck in a damn time looping limbo.. Im just pulling this out from my ass.

If someone is a dnd player/dm and got a new ideas from that weird scribble of mine, feel free to use and im actually glad if someone got the ingredients for bullying players..

I wish he stopped calling these “counter monkey” and renamed it “Spoony’s RPG Tales” or something like that because it stopped being about stuff that happened to him being a store clerk a looooooooooong time ago.

I’d probably attribute the fact my group plays AD&D partially to you, Spoony one.
I made an aquatic encounter table when we started.
It hasn’t been used once. Proof’s in the pudding, I guess.

knifes and stabbing weapons …something about he said it cracked me up :)

This is why any campaigns I have that have an aquatic theme are explicitly aquatic. No pretense, the coastal villages are being raided by undersea monsters, and people are offering rewards to kick the crap out of them.

1) best advice for boats ever
2) never specialize in fire. if you MUST specialize in a magical element, choose lightning. Creatures are made of fire all the times, and when they’re not, they’re made of water. None of them are EVER made of lightning. the GM will just thing fire is too awesome, and when you get wise, he’ll start throwing water monsters at you instead. Lightning does damage to fire monsters, and more to water monsters. Specialize in lightning.
3) Leomund’s Secret Chest means never having to worry about where your stuff is :).
4) Yes it’s a track, but at least you can see it. It’s worse if it’s a train :p

My first DM pulled that on my group for our second quest. Had us come across a boat on a lake and told us it would be days to go around and just a few hours to cross. I threw out the idea that we should go around because we might find something interesting in the forest. He in turn threw a Black Dragon at us. He was kind enough to not have it chase us as we ran like hell and got on that boat. .

My only ever character death in Pathfinder happened on a ship. Poor old Inegar (aka Inegramps) the Inquisitor got shanked by a random, no-name pirate while he was knocked out on the deck. Worst death ever.

Make a rule in your firewall to allow www. (no space) gorillanation.com in your settings/option/menu .You can always disable or delete the rule if you dont want to keep it open.I did that and Springboard works for me.

Yay! : D more counter monkey, inspired me to play DnD : ) thanks Noah!

I am actually running a water campaign… and now instead of a black dragon there is an octopus because why not. Also an adamantine nutmeg grater, because spices are expensive.

I’ve tested this video on 3 different computers (i5, pentium D, and core 2), 3 different accellerators (gt630m, 8800gts, GMA962) with hardware accel on and off, and while the video appears to load completely, it craps itself at 12:38 and won’t play a second past that. Since this was in a post from 21 hours ago as well, I’m guessing that the file on springboard is the fault and could probably be easily remedied by simply re-uploading the video.

I want that shirt, so bad. So. Bad,

I read two pages of comments and thus far nobody seems to suffer the same feeling of Déjà Vu I have. I think you mentioned this before. NEVER GET ON A BOAT! GIANT SQUID! LIZARDMEN! Not in a review, but in a V-Log. But I can’t remember, where. Anyway, I like how you get lost in the book. That’s what happens to DMs. “All these awesome monsters! Where can I use them? Aquatic? Fuck! I need a boat!”

Ixitxachitl: pronounced “ish-it-SHOTCH-it-ul”. It’s ridiculous, yes.

seeing these videos make me wish i was playing the game. but don’t know step one of the game and know no1 who plays? Dam they need a dragon age game with just these sea monsters. I want to kill the undead Nessie

I once wrote a campaign titled, “Deep Hurting” that took place entirely on a series of ships that were tethered together in the ocean. It didn’t end well… for the players

“These horrors that you’re going to face”… Just as Oreo hops onto his lap.

Oh don’t even mention Lizard people. Our GM didn’t even bother waiting for us to choose the boat, we were on the damn boat first thing. And wouldn’t you know it, it ship-wrecked =P. Can anyone say stranded on an island?
Oh and it got better. We apparently washed up into Lizard-people territory, and ended up fighting some big epic battle against them to save this rinky-dinky town. This, and the recent accidents, are going to give me an irrational fear of cruises T^T

I dont even need to watch this video to know what it’s gonna be about. I’m looking forward to your experience with it though,

It would be cool to run a game based around the Odyssey, a bunch of soldiers/adventurers just trying to get home from island nations , similar to the Greek isles.

Eh cooooould be neat

lol first time i see Spoony actually using the books on the background, the more i saw him using something from the BG were the Gunblades XD.

Damn now i remember why i hate the water levels, but the Role plays takes the cake in deadly waters

i wounder if he knows that tako is the japanese word for octopus

I don’t have a choice, the setting for my current campaign is a fucking pirate ship.

My silliest D&D moment ever: Characters are on a ship passing downriver, when suddenly they’re ambushed by raiders with true striked catapults… Essentially, the war engines can’t miss and the ship is taking major damage every other round. So, one PC starts running across the deck, trying to get hit by the huge rocks that the catapults throw. “Meee! Hit meee! I can regenerate, but the boat can’t!”

So your saying that even if the DM steals stuph from you, dont get on the boat?

My first Pathfinder game started on a boat. My half-orc barbarian leaped across to another boat with our gnome druid on his back, and the gnome proceeded to lead the assault on the boat. She almost died, and my barbarian got his axe stuck in the ship, so he proceeded to punch multiple guards off the ship. Ended up with two ships almost sinking because they started to crash into each other and our half-dead fighter saving the day by steering one of the ships out of the way. Oh and our commanding officer’s horse fell into the ocean and died on impact since he rolled a 1.

And I find this video right after I commented on using the “steal their stuff” trick to get some PCs to some islands. But I guess I’m not quite as railroading since it’d be stolen stuff that they can choose to pass on if they maintain rationality, and if they got to the islands, they’d be somewhat able to re-equip for aquatic environments to cross back and forth if they don’t have alternate island hopping means.

Dude you saved my ass! I just got done with a session today were my DM tried the same thing. We had to take a ship out to open seas in order to drop off a diplomat at the neighboring city. It would either be a two day boat ride or a two week hike through the mountains. I could see the delight in his eyes when half the party wanted to take the ship. So my bard with a high charisma, convinced the party to take the mountain pass instead. My DM had the biggest “I’m gonna fucking kill you” face I have ever seen. At the end of the session he asked me how did I know what he was gonna do? So I showed him your video. So his reply after seeing it was “I’m gonna fucking kill him now!!!! How dare he give away DM secrets.” So thanks again man, you saved me and my party’s ass. Even though he’s probably gonna screw us in the end.