Prophecy 3: The Ascent in 5 Seconds

The Spoony One | Oct 11 2012 | more notation(s) | 

Hey, being the angel of death is hungry work.

  • Lucas Allen

    I bet Walken’s the most worthwhile part of the first three Prophecy films!

    • Mateusz K.

      Yes. Yes it is. The first movie is the only one worth watching, but Walken is the best part of all of them.

  • sbkMulletMan

    unfucking believable.

  • frank.gwin

    Yea that’s pretty much the best part of the whole prophecy series

    • Faust

      Do you know how you got that dent, in your top lip? Way back, before you
      were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said

  • silbmaerto

    How have I never heard of this movie before? It has Christopher Walken rocking some awesome Wiseau hair!

  • likalaruku

    Excellent. I sat down with these homemade tacos & prayed there would be new Spoony stuff to watch while I eat. Sadly, it takes more than 5 seconds to eat a taco.

    • Faust

      That’s talking monkey work.

  • Ian Fay

    Between this and Walken’s completely apeshit new web series, it’s a good week for Walken-philes.

  • MichaelT

    Dis meal…is un-FUCKING-believable!

  • jesternario

    yeah, that’s about right.

  • Seth Williams

    I haven’t seen the sequels; is there any more movie-stealing Viggo-as-Satan action?

    • qalest

      I love you more than Jesus!

    • Oliver Meyer

      Unfortunately, no. No more Viggo. And no more Luzifer in general IIRC, except for a very short scene at the beginning of Part 2, where Luzi dumps Gabriel in some back alley and leaves immediately. That makes Walken the only reason to watch any Prophecy movie after the first, just for shits and giggles.

  • Randall Bohannan

    You gotta have the blackberry Jam… O.o

  • Kendotuxedo

    The prophecy is F.K. in the coffee

  • Mateusz K.

    Hahaha…. thanks for reminding me there are more prophecy movies…. I haven’t watched them iin years.

  • Chuster M. Merino

    Christopher Walker… fun-freaking-tastic.

  • Faust

    I picture this is going to be Spoony one day, hair that long, right before he begins work on another proper review.

    • Lennetambi Shuyin

      right on Faust, could not have said it better.

    • jnywest

      A proper breakfast for some proper work. I hear ya

    • Stephen Martin

      Leave Spoony be. He’s busy playing XCOM. Wonder what it would take to get him to do a Let’s play

    • Nathan Forester

      So Spoony is going to turn into Christopher Walken? Lucky bastard. I wish I could wake up one day to find out i’ve become Chris Walken!

  • Reginald Baxter

    Just a reminder that Spoony hasn’t put out a proper video since August 11th.

    • The Spoony One

      You do realize that this site isn’t all about movie and game reviews,
      right? Because mucking through 80-some hours of footage– TWICE, mind
      you– takes a few weeks even if you’re doing it 12 hours a day. I
      don’t just pull Final Fantasy reviews out of my ass, you
      self-entitled fuckpost.

      • Nash Knight

        So go muck trough footage, stop making tiny uninteresting videos just for the sake of updating the site and stop calling fans fuckposts

        • frank.gwin

          I found it interesting thank you very much. And he has every right to say what he wants on his website, especially to self-entitled fuckbuckets.

        • Jeremy Owens

          What would you prefer? Tiny videos like this that some (like myself) find good for a quick chuckle, that take him 5 minutes to make in his spare time, or back to the good ol’ days where there’d still be months between the reviews but the site just kinda sat there, not doing anything that whole time?

          I’ll take the former, thank you.

          Also, who says Counter Monkey isn’t a proper video? I like movie/game reviews, but I honestly like his Counter Monkey segments (be they anecdotes or advice) just as much.

        • Cart Man

          Stop watching those “tiny uninteresting videos” then ,quit whining and stop acting like a fuckpost, fuckpost.

        • Guido Palombi

          Glad to see someone helping Spoony right now, got any other medical advice in store ?

        • calamity_m

          Do you actually donate
          to this site? Or do you just come in to bitch about the free
          entertainment you’re getting? As a fan who actually hits the ‘donate’
          button, I’m sick of reading the whiny, self-entitled, fuck-wit
          comments from you fucking free-loaders :/

          No one charges your
          credit card to be here, there’s no monthly subscription to watch
          these videos, so why are you insistently bitching about a product you
          don’t even pay for?! I have a monthly subscription for a podcast on
          another site and EVEN THEN I don’t fucking whinge like a spoilt brat
          about the content like you do.

          There is a vast, wide
          world of entertainment on the internet that you could be indulging in
          right now, rather than sulking about the lack there-of on this site.
          Go. Seek. Find. Become a fan of one of the many other sites out
          there. Go join one of those fandoms rather than fan-dumbing down this
          one. Because I for one, as a Spoony fan, would rather not be
          associated with a whiny little shit like you.

          You don’t pay him a
          wage, you’re not his boss, you don’t get to make demands on his time.

          • Nash Knight

            You do know that no matter how fiercely and aggressively you defend Spoony form a mild harmless criticism he’s not gonna marry you?

          • Lennetambi Shuyin

            well hell, why dont you let him decide that. he might need my trust fund or my nice toes………

          • Guido Palombi

            ”Have you considered quitting your meds ?”
            ”Man this isn’t the FFXIII review, fuck THAT shit !”
            ”I want my proper videos !!!”

            Mild Harmless Criticism, it’s good for you.

          • calamity_m

            You do know that I consider marriage to be an out-dated societial bad-habit that needs to be abolished? You do know that whining like a little shit everytime you want something just makes you look pathetic? You do know that your opinions mean jack-shit since you don’t do anything creative yourself and are nothing more than a self-entitled back-seat driver?

          • Turkey OnAStick

            You’re seriously using his snap at you as a soapbox for your views on marriage? Good grief.

      • Lennetambi Shuyin

        so very true, thank you for informing these I CANT WAIT nerds……love you spoons

      • noloveforhate

        Fuckpost sounds like some sort of sexual bedpost attachment. I wonder if theres a market for such a sex toy…..

      • Reginald Baxter

        Cry me a river autist. Get back to “work”.

        • PeaTearGryfin

          Protip: Calling somebody autistic usually isn’t a good way to strengthen your argument.

        • Christopher Smith

          Look out, we’ve got a badass.

    • Zach Bonner

      I’d rather have him working at his own pace and not getting overwhelmed. He has always put out quality entertainment and it’s no fan’s place to be a pushy ass on his release dates. He owes us absolutely fucking nothing. I don’t want to speak for others or come off as a kiss-ass, but he delivers and I’m sure I’m not the only one who agrees. If you’re truly appreciative of his work, then stop bitching and enjoy anything he puts out. This is free entertainment, and you have no right to complain because you haven’t contributed jack-shit. If you have, you still have no right because like I said, it’s free entertainment and Spoony can stop anytime he wants, but he continues through all of the bullshit, all of the adversity. The care he puts into his work shows, and if you can’t appreciate what he gives us, then take your shit somewhere else.

    • L1nk1

      yeah, keep whining bum.

  • Adam Sterczala

    I have this…odd affection for the Prophecy films including 3. I kinda wish they had made more of them in the end.

  • Carl Eusebius

    The original The Prophecy is one of my top 5 underrated movies of all time. But this threequel…is unfuckingbelievable.

  • Princess Stabbity

    Walken is what makes those movies AMAZING.

  • Gildedtongue

    Could be worse. Walken could have wanted pie. ;)

  • Zach Bonner

    Christopher Walken can make even ordering breakfast entertaining. I am still holding out for some sort of roundtable discussion or Shakespearean cold reading with Walken, Nic Cage, Oliver Reed and Ron Pearlman. That would truly be at the top of a greatness scale of legendary proportions.

    • PeaTearGryfin

      I’m pretty sure that would rip a hole in the space-awesome continuum. Still worth seeing though.

    • Das_Bass

      I hope he tips better than Mr.Pink

    • Zach Bonner

      Oops, I meant Oliver Platt. Oliver Reed is dead. They were both in Musketeers at one point though, coincidentally.

    • John Meredith

      Nic Cage? Are you nuts?

  • Das_Bass

    Spoony could post 3 videos a week at the rate Brad does ( who has a team of friends on 3/4 of his stuff mind you) and I bet 2/3 would still bitch about him not doing what they want. Just keep throwing pennies at him “dance monkey! Dance!” that will get you your free videos faster. Let the man work. He’s going to do a Halloween ep for us. Maybe the Silent Hill movie? What with the new one coming out.

  • Crippen

    Was this edited at all aside from bookending it with title card and a credit sequence? At this point, you’re just pointing out humorous stuff from a movie, not really adding any of your own material.

    I mean, your material is good. But you might have well just posted a link to a youtube clip of the same segment.

    • doresh

      Isn’t this how these 5 Seconds clips are supposed to work?

      • Crippen

        Perhaps, but at least with the last one he added the joke from the MST3K of Fugitive Alien. I confess I haven’t seen any of the “in 5 seconds” variety of clips in a long, long time.

        • level_control

          asking me to sit through a 30 second commercial as well as title cards is a bit much. I think I’ll wait until spoony puts up some content

  • L1nk1

    dat hair

  • jnywest

    Is there something wrong with me. I’ve watched this like 20 times now. It sound like the perfect breakfast, really.

  • Deacon Hagan

    This makes waiting for Seven Psychopaths more difficult

  • tehinternetguy

    I wonder if Spoonster will have anyone left to call a fuckpost, around the same time next year, at this rate.

  • Vegapatch

    Spoony, you shouldn´t bother with those impatient coments. You make such a good videos that you deserve all the time you need to prepare them. Keep doing the videos you like and don´t burnout yourself.
    By the way, Spoony has never been the kind of Vbloger that keeps a regular schedule, he can talk about anything and still beign entertaining as fuck.
    If he updates with less time-consuming videos, it will likely mean that he is spending his time in something much bigger.

    Greetings from Spain.

    • Turkey OnAStick

      *slurp slurp*

  • Jumpooleez

    “What do you want?”
    *opens script*

  • Guilty Light

    What is it about Christopher Walken that just makes him such an awesome actor? He just has a way of delivering his lines that are always on point and completely unique.

  • Yannick Caron

    A movie in five seconds after an add of 30… When this movie will be on TV, that’s what we will have.

  • Ralston Pruitt

    Chris Walken may not be the greatest actor of all time but he is certainly
    in the top 10 of the most unique actors ever.

    • Robert159

      I always liked him

  • Zefram Mann

    I miss 5 sec reviews.

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