About

Who the hell are you?

Noah Antwiler is the award-winning creator and host of this popular site and online video review show. For over three years he’s created a hilarious series of videos and blog entries skewering all aspects of nerd culture, from movies to video games to comic books. His first work was as a freelance movie critic for Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine, back in the days when he had a lot more time to play Dungeons and Dragons and write long-winded recaps of godawful fantasy flicks. He has acted on the Arizona State University mainstage and appeared in several short films, even starring for a time in a touring dinner theater. What started as a geeky hobby has become a full-time madness, and now he’s living his dream as a comedian and a paragon of Internet nerdiness!

Where does the “Spoony” thing come from?

The story of the “Tandem the Spoony” mantle is, of course, an extraordinarily nerdy one that started at a Dungeons & Dragons table, where I played a swashbuckling (and often accident-prone) bard. While playing the game Final Fantasy 2, I came across a scene where the game’s bard, Edward, was getting the crap beaten out of him by an old sage. During this Rodney King-esque beating, the sage howled in badly-translated Japanese rage “You spoony bard!!” I still don’t know what the hell it means, but after some in-jokes exchanged at a Dungeons & Dragons session in reference to my bard character “Tandem,” Tandem the Spoony was born. Today, spooniness indicates a devil-may-care swashbuckling spirit, where all men are equal and free and should be generally nice to each other, and embrace wine, women, and song. Now I carry the name as an Internet handle, because – while silly – it’s infinitely more memorable and interesting than Noah Antwiler.

What’s the deal with the blue robot?

That’s my robot, Burton. A few years ago, I’d gotten it in my head to write, produce, and shoot a feature-length film about my own experience working at a game store, so I wrote a screenplay, bought a decent DV camera, and had even gone so far as to hold auditions when suddenly the location I was using closed down, and it derailed production. I was on a micro-budget as it was, and I couldn’t afford to go anywhere else. It was probably a good thing, because I have to admit that the screenplay I ended up with was not very good.

Anyway, I ended up stuck with this camera, and I had another mad plan to shoot some Mystery Science Theater-style videos using public domain movies as fodder, complete with robot puppets and a storyline. To that end, I enlisted some help to construct the robots, named Burton, Sorbo, and Morgan (after Big Trouble in Little China’s Jack Burton, Hercules star Kevin Sorbo, and nerd vixen Morgan Webb). Burton was the only robot we managed to finish, and he’s unarguably the best of the bunch. He’s got an expressive face and a cool color scheme, and I really think he blows the other two robots away. Sorbo is a stainless steel robot made out of a disinfecting UV lamp, and Morgan is a modified salon hair dryer, but they don’t have the distinct look of Burton’s cyclopean Dustbuster head and floppy red useless arms.

I ended up retiring the MST project also. I began to realize that what I was attempting was bigger than something I’d be able to do on my own, obviously because I would need at least one, hopefully two, and ideally three other people to host the video with me (to run the puppets and play other characters). I toyed with the idea of doing it solo without robots, but I didn’t like it much. Part of the fun is having more than one person to bounce jokes off of, otherwise who am I talking to? And I hadn’t even gotten into the manpower needed to produce the show. I couldn’t find anyone willing to devote the time to write, film, or do any meaningful work for the show. And I can’t blame them. It’s a lot of hard, unpaid work for a pretty pathetic nerdy exercise.

After all that, I didn’t really have anywhere to store poor Burton, my robot without a function in life. The other robots I could throw in the closet; they hadn’t been finished yet and so there wasn’t much to damage, but Burton is a fragile guy and I prefer to keep him where I can see him, sitting upright so he doesn’t fall and break off any pieces. So there he sits, behind my recliner, watching disapprovingly as I review games and movies instead.

Why don’t you review *INSERT CRAPPY GAME HERE*?

Let’s just assume that I have the game you’re talking about and the console to play it on (which is a big assumption).

Here’s the thing: it takes a long time to make a review of the usual quality you’re accustomed to. There are about four lengthy processes that go into making a review: recording footage from the console, writing the script, recording my own video, and editing. In total, the creation of a video can take anywhere from 1-3 weeks, depending on its complexity, length, and how much time I’m able to devote to it when I’m off from work. It’s not easy to do.

Also, while I do value your suggestions and e-mail, there are some things I just won’t do. I’m not going to review a game that’s already been tackled by another one of the “bigs” like AVGN or That Guy. It’s redundant and I’d consider it pretty bad form if someone else poached my material as well. You also need to choose games that have some inherent comedic value to them, or are at least maddeningly bad. I have no idea why I still get e-mails demanding reviews of games like Half-Life, World of Warcraft, or Resident Evil 4. It really doesn’t make sense to me. Either you want to see me give some kind of glowing, masturbatory review, or you really hate the game and want to see it destroyed. In the first case, it’s not going to be funny, and in the second, even if I agreed that Half-Life sucked, I think we would both have to admit that there are thousands of games that are way, way worse.

But many of my reviews come from viewer suggestions, so keep them coming. Just don’t look for a scathing review of Super Mario World in the near future.

What’s the deal with the theme song?

I’d been under some pressure for some time to get some kind of a theme song to lead into my reviews, but I’ve never been certain what form it should take. I’d written a couple of songs but I don’t know any bands who could do anything special with it. The best one I’d written was a surf boogie about my MST-video, detailing the story of how I ended up in Deep 42 with my robot pals, and I didn’t think it applied to the video game reviews. I also didn’t want to use a copyrighted song like “Spoon Man.” Sure, I tend to pillage a lot of other sources for satirical and reviewing purposes, but it seemed wrong to immediately start off by stealing someone else’s tunes.

A friend of mine suggested that I ask an old forum acquaintance (codename Edgelett) if I could use one of her band’s songs. I was rather surprised to hear that The Irresponsibles (who come from a land down under) are actually kickass. They remind me a lot of Juliette and the Licks and have a very classic rock & roll spirit, a refreshing change from the normal “I broke up with my boyfriend, and somehow I will survive” angst-pop drivel that’s infected the airwaves lately. I liked a few of their songs a lot, but “Break Me” stood out as a great, energetic theme. Okay, the lyrics pretty much describe me as a feisty girl who likes to be treated rough, but hey, if the shoe fits…

The Irresponsibles were very kind to let me use “Break Me” for my rambling, nonsense reviews about irrelevant tripe, and they have my thanks.