Well, I just finished recording game footage after pulling an all-nighter session. I nearly went postal on this thing because almost an identical thing happened to Phantasmagoria as my last Final Fantasy VIII review. I played through about three discs’ worth of content, felt very satisfied with myself, checked the footage and…
There was no sound. On any of it. Three hours of footage, and no sound.
I’d fucked up. I’d chosen the wrong sound device for my video capture software, and as a result the only sound I caught was my commentary, which I was recording on my DV camera. Basically the entire recording session was a disaster, and none of the footage was usable.
There was nothing for it but to record it all again, watch all the same FMVs again, do all the same stuff in the same way. Basically I had to play the game as if I hadn’t played the game before, leaving pauses to allow the viewer to read e-mails along with me, inspect items and game screens, in essence, listening to my own commentary and playing the game so that my actions synced up with my narration. Very tedious, very infuriating, but it came out well in the end. I don’t even think you’ll notice anything amiss; the puzzles are mainly of the “guess the password” and “use all of your items on the thing that’s about to eat you” variety, so I didn’t really spend much time fumbling around for clues. The playthrough is pretty smooth.
The videos will take a little longer to finish than I thought, though, but only because there’s about three hours of game remaining. I can probably trim some time off of it just removing lulls in the action (Curtis walking around looking bemused), but I’d guess there will be twelve to fifteen more sections to go on YouTube. Hard to say.
It’s pretty exciting, though. If you thought the game was funny before, that was when crazy shit wasn’t happening. The insanity really kicks into high gear very soon, so look for updates around Wednesday night. My advice: don’t read any spoilers on this one; you’ve gotta see it to believe it, and you want to be surprised to find out who’s good, who’s evil, who lives, and who dies, right? Is it demons, druggies, ghosts possessing your rat, or aliens from Dimension X? Or is it all in Curtis’ latently homosexual mind?
Oh, there will be KY Jelly before the end, folks. Stay tuned.
I got laid off from my job today. I absolutely hated every second of it, but it’s still hard to take. My folks are really disappointed in me, I’m feeling pretty dejected, and job prospects at the moment are bleak.
It pretty much caps off the most miserable year of my life. I can never remember a time when I was so consistently bored, stressed-out, and unhappy. Maybe some of you are cuing up the Linkin Park, and you’re probably justified, but despite my relative successes in other fronts, you’ve seen me at my lowest point. Don’t get me wrong, you guys were the bright points of the year. Making videos and entertaining you with them are the good times I’ll remember. I’ve been knocked down a lot over the past 12 months, and despite the fact I’ve taken a lot of time to keep pulling myself together, you’ve stuck with me. Thanks for that.
I’ve also met some great new people at That Guy With the Glasses, and we’ve left several YouTube milestones in the dust. Over 13,000 subscribers and climbing. I’m amazed.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. It’s pretty scary. I hated that damn job, but it represented stability at least. But now…I guess we’ll see.
In what could be the most death-defying, most perilous stunt ever attempted, and perhaps my last ever video, I am going to review…
STEVEN SEAGAL’S LIGHTNING BOLT ENERGY DRINK
For those of you who don’t know, action star, fitness guru, and rock legend Steven Seagal has created an all-natural energy drink which you can only find in the finest 99-Cent Only Stores. I bought a whole crate of the stuff in its two awesome-charged flavors: Cherry Charge and Asian Experience. And I, faithful viewer, will drink of both flavors and allow you all to watch as I (if I am worthy) will assume all of Steven Seagal’s powers via the exotic botanical magic of the Seagal Lightning Bolt.
I assure you, the video and its outcome will not be staged in any way.
It’s time for you to place your bets on what the outcome will be…
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Oh, and in case it helps weigh your decision, I will be sampling both cans just to inform the viewer of how each drink tastes, and from there I’ll make the decision on which can to finish first. Also, the cans are 8 oz large.
Here are some nutritional facts about each drink:
Asian Experience

* Not a significant source of Vitamin A, C, Calcium, Iron, or dietary fiber.
* *Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
* Ingredients: Carbonated Water, Cane Juice Concentrate, Gogi Berry Concentrate, Herbal Tonic Blend (Guarana extract, Green Tea Extract,Gogi Berry Extract,Cordyceps, Yerba Mate, American Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba), Citric Acid, Natural Flavors, Natural Color, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine HCL, and Cyanocobalamin
Cherry Charge

* Not a significant source of Vitamin A, C, Calcium, Iron, or dietary fiber.
* *Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
* Ingredients: Carbonated Water, Cane Juice Concentrate, Herbal Tonic Blend (Guarana extract, Green Tea Extract, Gogi Berry Extract,Cordyceps, Yerba Mate, American Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba), Citric Acid, Natural Flavors, Natural Color, Niacin, Pantothenic Acid, Pyridoxine HCL, and Cyanocobalamin
This is the full, uncut version of the video set to “Break Me” by The Irresponsibles. Special thanks to Edgelett and the other Irresponsibles for the gracious use of their music. Enjoy!
For more of the Irresponsibles, visit their site at http://www.myspace.com/theirresponsiblesband.