From the category archives:

Rants

This looks kind of familiar…

by Spoony on May 11, 2009 · View Comments

James Rolfe just posted a new review of this really cheesy board game from TSR called Dragon Strike.

Now, call me crazy, but this game looks really familiar.

It’s weird, I just can’t quite place it. Feels a little like deja vu.

Oh well, it’s probably nothing.

Any of you seen anything like this before?

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Slow down! A speed camera! I need a clear shot.

by Spoony on April 20, 2009 · View Comments

Photo-radar van driver shot to death; dies slowly and painfully.

Somehow I can’t help but feel that some of you are missing the point.

Edit: The gunman proves to be an excellent shot, hitting both van and driver at speeds well over the posted limit. In fact, the van has a photo of him and his license plate to prove it.

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Sometimes I go into rage fugues…

by Spoony on April 18, 2009 · View Comments

I’ve been accused of trying to be hip and topical with my recent focus on DRM and copy protection, in some attempt to drum up controversy, dust off my soapbox and get some good old righteous indignation back in my rhetoric, but actually there’s nothing quite so manipulative to it. I’m not trying to whip up scandal by voicing pro-hacker sentiment, it’s just that the last month or so has really been a nightmare when it comes to gaming.

I’ll try to explain. This is what’s happened basically every time I’ve tried to play a game I installed in the last couple of years, but never got around to playing because of work:

1) Spoony gets bored/pissed off/stressed and decides to play a game.

2) Tries to get past the solo of “Cult of Personality,” fails, and snarls something incoherent and vile as he finds ice for his wrist.

3) Looks through his PC game list and realizes to his sorrow that most of his games suck, and that he intentionally purchases sucky games to amuse you. This reminds him of work, which he should be doing, and angers him even further. He ponders taking up hardcore drinking.

4) Finds an installed game he never got around to playing.

5) The game demands to see the actual disc because of copy protection measures.

6) Spends the next six hours tearing the place apart looking for a disc because it invariably arrived in a fucking paper goddamn sleeve.

7) If I ever find it, I’m too tired by this point and decide to go to sleep.

Anyway, that’s pretty much been the story whenever I’ve tried to find a way to unwind in the last couple of months. My own lack of organization has really made things harder than they needed to be. After losing my copies of both Civilization IV and Neverwinter Nights 2 (and trust me, I went through every disc and even lifted every piece of furniture in the room– NWN2 is gone, man.)

And if I hear one goddamn word about a CD wallet or one of those flippy CD books, I will have you flayed.

I lost a whole day as I resolved to simply clean the damn room and print up jewel case labels for every paper-sleeved disc in my possession. My hands are now damn near crippled, but I’m happy at last. They all have lovely, wonderful end-labels. It’s beautiful.

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X3: Terran Conflict

by Spoony on April 15, 2009 · View Comments

I really can’t stand this anymore.

I used to be a dyed-in-the-wool PC gamer. Through and through. You know those Underdogs and Abandonia sites? Those are my PC shelves. I’ve pretty much got ‘em all. I wasn’t just being a collector, PC gaming used to be awesome. A lot of people rolled their eyes and snickered when I whined “it’s so hard to be a PC gamer nowadays,” but I meant it. It sucks now. Not only have the general quality and innovation tailed off sharply, leaving us with little more than generic shooters and RTSes, but software and technology have conspired to make the whole experience of playing a game as frustrating and painful as possible.

There used to be a real rivalry between PC and console gamers, back when PC technology far outpaced the consoles, whose evolution only came in staggering leaps every few years. Mouse controls and keyboard inputs allowed for much more complex games than your 2-4 button controllers. Now? It’s just pathetic. Say what you want about console fanboys and their bitter obsessions, at least when they put a disc in their console, it fucking works. Their games are (generally) tested to some sort of performance standard. They don’t have to deal with weird hardware/software incompatibilities, bloated, monolithic operating systems, and worst of all, fucking copy protection rootkits that, more often than not, end up ruining my system and turning my new game into an expensive shiny drink coaster.

Because that’s all X3 is. It comes packaged with the TAGES copy protection system. I don’t know what it does, and I don’t want to know. I have enough problems with SecuROM that I don’t want yet another piece of shit DRM virus infesting my system. At least TAGES has the courtesy to ask if I want it installed, but now what do I do? I’ve got a game that I can’t return, and I can’t install. Do I really have to research all my future game purchases to see if it’s got DRM software now? Have I really been reduced to giving games background checks to see if they have software syphilis?

Now I’m reduced to seeing if there’s anyone out there who’s found an illicit way of circumventing the copy protection, just to see if my legitimately-purchased game will ever function. Do you see what’s happening here? Do you see the lengths you’re driving honest people to? You’re actually forcing us to turn to the very people you’re trying to stop.

And that raises a very important question: am I paying the wrong people?

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