Counter Monkey – The Importance of Wearing Pants

The Spoony One | Mar 12 2012 | more notation(s) | 

This story is posted with some reservations, but it just goes to show, you meet all kinds around the gaming table.

  • Cameron Davis

    Odd title.

  • Cameron Davis

    No video on blip showing. Any ideas?

  • Herra Graus

    It’s a great title

  • Doctor Doc Docson

    You know, I mostly like your game reviews (specially Ultima) but with all the skull-fuckery, dung-golemmery and general-insannery, I think Counter Monkey is going to become my favorite despite not having ever played a tabletop RPG.

    • Kyle Rybski

      Same here, absolutely. I mean, I’ve read dozens of RPG sourcebooks because I love them for some reason, but I’ve never played a minute of one. Yet Counter Monkey entertains me every time.

  • Herra Graus

    Oh snap Henchman 21 deja vú when you mentioned the name Gary.

  • Nick Kipouros

    Almost peed myself when you said “gay as a two dollar bill” instead of “queer as a two dollar bill”. I can’t tell if that was on purpose or not but it was hysterical.

    • Jordan McRae

       I think it’s really “Queer as a Three Dollar Bill,” seeing as how there’s nothing strange about a 2$ bill after all.

  • fatalrob0t

    OH GOD. The wife… I know exactly what sort of person this is and I Hate dealing with them or seeing others have to deal with them outside of their own weird, weird, Weird circle of people. It’s the same sort of fandom school of thought as the Yaoi fans. They make up a male character just to shove at as many of their favorite men so they can have their men on men sex fantasies. It doesn’t matter if she wasn’t an anime fan or not, this goes beyond anime into other fandoms. It’s everywhere and I Never understand it. God, I feel Terrible for you guys to have to endure that.

    • karikaze

      Oh man I never really understood the yaoi fangirls, but my instincts told me to never fuel their fantasies as it may lead to being another potential rape victim in their eyes. I still know some of them, but now they are obsessed over some asian musicians which are clearly using this girly man appeal to get their fans. 

      Also I think this is part of what appeals to girl/women in all the “Twilight” saga movies and books as there seem to be more tension between Jacob and Edward than with Bella and any of the dudes but maybe I’m just delusional and seeing things after hanging so much yaoi fangirls.

      • fatalrob0t

        Actually you might not be far off from that. I don’t understand yaoi fans. I don’t understand the appeal of yaoi. It’s crap made by women for women. It’s the same sort of fantasy created by men for men of two women making out. I don’t get it. It’s not sexy. In yaoi there’s always one Seme–who is the manly one–and one Uke–who is the hyperactive/shy/blushy/super cute/extremely girly one–and these people will ultimately categorize characters in this manner exclusively. It’s very irritating to find someone like… I don’t know… Thor turned into this super girly Uke for their sexual fantasies. And then the creativity in how they execute anal sex becomes rather interesting when blood is one of their ideas of good lube is. 

        And then the mpreg. Oh God. The Mpreg. 

        I need to get away from fandoms. 

        • Vismutti

          Well, to be fair, it’s not ALL like that. Although the majority of yaoi-fangirls are a scary and rather disgusting breed, there are more sensible ones too, thankfully, who write and read more realistic gay romance. I don’t know if I’d classify myself as a yaoi-fangirl, but I do read the better stuff, occasionally, and it’s honestly not that bad. It’s not for everyone, obviously, but it’s not horrible. (But I wouldn’t go near the Japanese yaoi-fandom if I were you. That’s a frightening place.)

          • fatalrob0t

            I wasn’t meaning the whole yaoi-fandom. I’ve known yaoi fans that aren’t crazy. I just happen to have run into a very, very crazy lot over the years and the way most yaoi appears is this weird vision of a romance where they just swap the girl out for a very girly guy. If I offended you in some manner it was not meant. It’s just in my experience that I end up seeing a lot of these crazy people that pretty well drive me insane. 

            and yeah… I’m well aware of the Japanese yaoi community. I’ve seen my fair share of batshit insane things and most of it comes out of there. And it’s because of this that I have trouble finding decently drawn hetero fancomics from my favorite fandoms. If it isn’t yaoi it’s yuri I get tired of seeing both. I have saved a Lot of fancomics I’ve collected over the years and most of them end up being yaoi because A) they’re very well drawn or B) they feature a character that I really love. Like I did on an RP forum in the early days of my learning to Role Play I sort of just ignore it and look at pretty pictures outside of the things I don’t like. 

            I’ve been on the internet too long.

          • George Rosenbaum

            At least the insanity is Equal Opportunity.

            Oh goody.

          • fatalrob0t

            *snort* yeah.

          • Vismutti

            Ah, I’m glad to hear that. :Db Yeah, I just kinda jumped because I’ve heard so many comments from people who actually DO think that all yaoi-fans are like that… It’s rather sad. I know so many yaoi-fans who are my friends and who hate the typical yaoi stereotypes with fiery passion.

          • fatalrob0t

            I’ve played with some. They’re not all like that, but boy do I get angry with the ones who are like that. And when the fandom seems dominated by people who are all yaoi-fanatics it gets a bit difficult to enjoy the fandom when many of them actually sort of act, or make the characters act, in these sterotypical fashions that annoy anyone else except those who like yaoi.

  • Matthew Holman

    Not sure, but I think you said his name… I could be mistaken.

  • Eric J. Kasnia

     That was a funny story and jaw dropping He almost lived out the no pants dream impressive.

  • Emil Petrunov

    Is that the guy that wasn’t “the kind of thief”?

    • Dylan Roy

      No, Matthew was the “not that kind of theif” guy. Based off of what I remember, I’m thinking Gary was the priest of the God of Death. I remember Spoony saying in that video that the priest was the guy who left…

  • Otto Rosenlund

    Well, obviously Gary just forgot the pants that had his wallet in them, and was wearing other pants. I highly doubt he was driving with no pants on. I mean, try sitting on a car seat without pants (or just wearing underpants) and tell me you don’t notice it right away without looking down.

    • Colin Snow

       … Have you not watched WTFIWWY over at radiodeadair or on TGWTG ?

  • Chibito

    You have some weird, weird stories, you know that?

  • kamirecca

    this story reminds me of when i was at Gothcon in Gothenburg, sweden (I love the english name for Göteborg. Gothenburg. Sounds so awesome). We have had a realy great day, played some awesome sessions and generaly had a blast. But it was getting late and we were going to our appointed sleeping hall wich was a classroom since the con was held in a university. So we get there, open up the door and wouldnt you know it, some people had decided to use that room as a gaming room for their adventure. They go “Oh sorry, is this your sleeping hall?” And we go “Yea yea. Are you gonna take long?”
    the Dm goes “No no. Give us ten minutes and we will be done. Its kinda the last battle.”
    and we are like “its cool. dont feel rushed. Its only sleep after all.”
    So the DM feels that he should thank us. So he gets up to shake our hands, and as he rises from his chair we notice that he has no pants. Dressed in a suit with a tie, polished shoes and pressed shirt, but no frikken pants. And we are like Oookay, thats a bit weird. But hey its a free country. So we give them the ten minutes. It dosnt take ten minutes, rather an hour. But hey thats roleplaying. It happens. So after about an hour the door opens, one guy runs screaming and crying out of the room, the other player is soon after, trying to catch up with his friend and last out is the DM, still no pants. He leans towards the doorframe, looks after the two guys running away and with a calm voicce goes: “They didnt win against the boss.” scratchin his balls while saying that. And then he asks us if we are up for a game of Spank The Monkey (A cardgame, feels like i should clarify that.) We all stand there, jaws dropped to the floor and trying to find something to say. And i go like “im out.” and just walks away. Dont know if the played Spank The Monkey, dont realy care. I prefer not to think what monkey got spanked if you know what i mean. 
    Slept on a parkbench in Gothenburg that night. Slept realy well on top of that, even if it was a bit cold.

    So thats my relating story.

  • Jordan Stone

    I absolutely love Counter Monkey XD which is strange considering I’ve never played DnD

    • Christopher Stratton Smith

      You should totally try! It’s opened my eyes to a whole other world (actually several!). I would have missed out on so much fun had I not started playing D&D. In addition, I have to add that I was a late bloomer (I started out only 5 years ago and I’m 25) but that didn’t impede anything. Now I’m DMing my first campaign and it’s such a different experience to playing a PC but equally fun (imho). Sorry to gush but I can’t stress enough how fun tabletop (or pnp) rpg games can be. :)

  • Ike shirley

    have you ever palyed baldur’s gate for pc

  • Gamers Corner

    Even White Power Bill wouldn’t have been comfortable gaming with her.

  • Conrad Wormworth

    See, I’m ‘that kind of player’ in games. It can be really tough, being the kind of guy that can actually care and go out of my way to FEEL for a character- whether tabletop or, more often for me, a bloody video game- in a generation of people who really don’t care. 

  • Vanvidum

    Speaking as a gay man, Spoony was a lot more tolerant of in-character harassment than I could have been.

    On a less controversial note, is there any way to handle in-character
    orientation or even just ‘mature’ proclivities in a game while holding
    on to a modicum of seriousness? It’s one thing to have your manly-man
    dwarf fighter visit a brothel with a couple potions of remove disease,
    but that can only be played for laughs.

  • JenxRodwell

    …No, forget the racist, gay stereotype-playing wife. Screw that.

    How. The. FUCK do you go out of your house and forget your pants?! THAT DOES NOT FUCKING HAPPEN! Don’t get me wrong, I’m airheaded as all hell and I’ve gone out wearing my slippers couple of times back in High School (Never got too far before I remembered I need shoes), but how on earth can you go out, get in your car and drive somewhere and only in the middle of the drive remember that you are not wearing pants?

    • Colin Snow

      radiodeadair + WTFIWWY = tons of naked crazy.

  • Dan Bitzer

    “I wear! I wear! I wear no pants!”

  • BlackWindHowl

    Oh my god that’s the hell of a story dear Sponny, i know how
    uncomfortable you must have been, I know everyone has their beliefs, but
    damn just ease up a little, people. 

    It’s like one guys I knew, when I was in high school.  I’ve played 2
    game with this guy and some other people or friend, but this guy, who i
    did not knew a lot at first.  He would always make this wannabe bad ass
    character, which was badly handle, but otherwise he was a good player,
    he was a bad role player, but he knew dnd and showed it a lot.  Anyway,
    this guy’s character would always be this Xenophobic bastard, bringing
    down every race, and he would always ask the color of the skin of every
    npc, so he would act this way.  At first we though it was nothing, until
    we go out with this guy for Saint Patrick if I remember correctly.  And
    this guy was really a xenophobic bastard has we soon discovered.  There
    were three barman/barmaid, and he would only go to the white barman. 
    One of the other guys friend came, and he was asian, so this guy would
    be rude with him. When we decided we had enough and went out to walk
    home, this guy, an other and me had to go the same way. And the bad shit
    crazy he told us, first about asian, after about black, and soon every
    other human who were not white. 

    It’s sad, cause he was a good guy, but I feel uncomfortable around
    xenophobe, because I have friend and friend who has friend who are not
    white.  And that’s really sad for the people like  that guy, that don’t
    hate people because of their beliefs, of the religion, or culture, which
    are not good reason either to hate people, but because their parent
    were racist and it’s like they have to hate them for no other reason but
    their skin color, and no other reason really.  He just repeat what his
    father or mother said, he believe its right because his parents must be
    right no?  Anyway, great job Spoony. Keep it good, Keep it real, and may
    you stay on this road of awesomeness dude!

  • Jesse Franciskovic

    Wow, just wow, this shocked me, I dont know why you told us this either noah.
    But thanks for the awareness of crazy people.

  • Birk Hauke Wildhirt

    there is always someone who even seems crazy to his own subculture and omg, crazy roleplayers are terrifying ^^”

  • karikaze

    So wearing no pants can lead to having white supremacy girlfriend/wife? You have to be careful with those things.

  • jdreyfuss

     I’m not sure if this is the dumber statement, but one time we called a player to see where he was and why he was late and his response was, “I’m not sure I can make it. I just woke up, I don’t know where I am, and all I can see is white.”

  • Amdor

     Freedom to walk without pants! Tho I won’t use it as it is quite cold in Poland. Good to know I look Hispanic ^^

    • Jean-Francois Glaude

      I would be curious to see your point of view on this story ;)

    • karikaze

      I’m from Poland and maybe it’s only my thing but I can easily grow some nice conquistador looking beard though usually I try not to get it to that state ;]

  • fatalrob0t

    Speaking of harassment in game…. As said before, I rarely go to the Gaia Online forums because they’re generally full of absolute pricks or entitled bitches that I want to continually throttle. however, i have been known to occasionally go onto Gaia Towns as one of the characters I play from a fandom. I like Hetalia. I like the general silliness of Hetalia and the jokes in it to be made on the general stereotypes of the various countries. I don’t like everything about Hetalia, but I love it in general.

    I. Hate. The. Fandom. They drive me nuts and the fandom looks like it’s mainly comprised of a lot of yaoi fantards making a mountain out of a bump in the road. I stay as far away from them as I can for my own sanity, however, on occasion, I like to go into the Towns part of Gaia where the Hetalia avatars usually sit around and role play. I tend to go in as one of the characters and I try to use as authentic lingo as I can find for the nation that character is. I don’t do the Japanese honorifics and I’m honestly rather annoyed by that. But I digress. 

    When I go in I just take a seat and someone will eventually come over and start talking to me, which I do in character. I don’t bother the people who do the yaoi role playing. I have no problem with them doing their own thing because that’s what they enjoy and it’s all fun. I do, however, have a problem when another character starts harassing the one I’m playing and I’ll react according to how the character is supposed to act. If I’m playing France then he may or may not be interested in the person groping him because he’ll fuck anything that’s pretty. However, here I was playing America. I was watching the interaction between Turkey, Ireland, Sweden and… Norway and Denmark, I think. Every now and then I’d say something and then maybe get chased around by Ireland for whatever I said, but it was in character.

    And then Turkey’s player decided she was bored and had Turkey come over and stuff his hand down America’s pants. America immediately reacted as you would expect any man to react to being suddenly grabbed by his junk. “Dude! Not cool! Get the fuck off me!” 

    Turkey’s player’s automatic reaction was “A STRAIGHT HETALIAN?” She started shrieking about “STRAIGHTS IN MY HETALIA” and then immediately started badmouthing me because I didn’t play along. Needless to say I informed the people she played with on her character profile that I knew that she was indeed a rude, intolerant person.

  • Amir Shahabi

    haha i’m gonna start a war on this.
    How do you feel^^.

    To Spoony: funny story but do you have something epic like the thief’s world story left?

    • Colin Snow

       I can’t have either so… I hate both equally ?

  • Cody Ward

    I’m going to guess ‘Gary’ is the Death Priest from Thieves’ world, eh?  Maybe that was a way of dealing with a less-than-normal social life.  Still, it’s been my experience that girls like that are one of two things; hot, or sexually available.  I could be wrong here, and I am in no way making a call about why anyone is doing anything, but I can’t help but wonder why people stay in relationships like that.

    Then again, I would feel extremely awkward just doing a game where someone’s significant other was a part of the game.  Just seems like a massive conflict of interest.  I guess it would be fine if they were both players, but when one’s a DM?  Yeeeeeeah, that’s just asking for trouble.

  • urupomias

    yeah, you can basicly guess the IQ of a racist person when he doesnt even recognize what he/she is racist towards :/
    wasnt really a counter monkey, and im not sure this kind of a subject fits your videos and like u said youre rly just breaking your own rules.

  • Justin Trumpp
    This is something I came across yesterday about a player. Its old too so you may have seen it already.

  • SamThePsycicClam

    Time to make myself look like an idiot, I once got into a car to go out for a day to a farm with my family. I got in that car and was half way to the farm before I realized I was wearing slippers… BUT SERIOUSLY? I forgot my pants? 
    Also I’m bi and I completely understand your view point on that gay character, if any of the gay guys I know just groped me for no reason what so ever other than “hey, I’m gay” I would be tempted to lay that guy out. It is not only offensive as a stereotype it is downright distasteful would you just grope a girl? No? Then understand that gay guys have pretty much the same sort of standards of personal space. I wouldn’t grope a guy because that, when you get right down to it is sexual assault. I really feel for you in that situation, I don’t blame you for getting out of there. That must have been uncomfortable.
    I want to point out I am not saying she had no right to create that character, to be fair she can create whatever character she wants but I would have felt really awkward in that situation and I have role played a gay character to the point where he was having an affair with a singer in the local bar of our game and if someone who wasn’t gay did that I say more power to them, that’s what role-playings about, creating a character, but if they did what she did I would have no problem taking them aside and saying can you stop now because it would almost feel personal at that point. I know that stereotypical characters aren’t designed to attack an individual but that would be how I felt.

  • Alexander Hutcheson

    I think you handled that situation well, SpoonyOne. I probably would have done the same thing.

  • Andus_the_Jester

    I was starting to get worried when you mentioned that Gary’s girlfriend/wife was in his game; on account of the rarity (in my experience) of smooth gameplay when you drag personal relationships into a game world. I don’t know what the rest of you have encountered, perhaps you could share your own stories, but there have been times where the girlfriend of the DM gets really upset about the treatment of her character by NPCs or other players, and will do her best to manipulate her man into giving her preferential treatment.
    There have been gaming sessions which have had to be stopped mid flow so that the lovebirds can hash out whatever issues they are having, while the other players sit awkwardly around the table and do their best to pass the time constructively.
    The worst instance of this for me was when I was playing a D&D Essentials campaign with the DM’s girlfriend playing an evil tiefling warlock. She would regularly pout at the DM if she felt that the going was too tough, or when her evil character provoked an argument with the mostly good rest of the party, which happened fairly regularly.
    “I don’t have a problem with torturing this guy for information, and it’s within my alignment”
    “Well that’s fair enough, but it’s not within our character or alignment to just let you do it”
    -Pouts at DM-
    “Sort this out between yourselves guys”
    To the DM’s credit he did his best to allow interplayer politics to be handled by the players. But he still had trouble avoiding giving his girlfriend prefential treatment.
    Case in point, during the course of our adventures we encountered a cult of a demon-god and having wrecked their collective shit, we found that amongst the meaningless junk they had been using for rituals they had an orb of great power which was somehow linked to a home dimension of a demon. I was playing as a rogue and de-facto leader of the party, alongside a ranger, a fighter, a cleric and the aforementioned warlock. Out of the lot of us the only person really qualified to examine this orb was the warlock. However, we all knew from her track record that she was not even remotely the most trustworthy person to leave such a potentially powerful item in the hands of. Even so, I figured we could get some interesting story points out of entrusting the orb to her, hopefully despite being evil she would investigate this object and use it for the good of the party. Boy was I wrong. By midnight of the day she received the orb she had performed blood sacrifice rituals with the orb to contact the elder gods on the other side, spoken abusively to one of them and took over 10 points of wisdom damage for her trouble, and then she (with permission from the player, who wanted to play a wizard instead of a fighter) killed a party member in his sleep to complete a contract with the demon on the other side of the orb, to gain additional at will and encounter powers, which included draining healing surges from nearby party members for bonus damage dice on attacks, as well as the ability to banish a creature to a plane of fire for a short while, where they take ongoing fire damage until they can make a save, and more often than not hit a party member rather than a foe.

    Compare this treatment to another party member’s encounter with a vampire, where he was heavily injured and was trying to recover with bed rest, the vampire willed his companion to sleep and then drank from him. The result: permenent 2 Con drain. No character development or new powers, just a kick in the teeth when he was already down.

    As much as I love playing D&D, I hate playing with a couple at the table.

    • ORCACommander

       couple of my friends i play with are married together and they more or less keep things that are supposed to be in character in character. even if one or both are gming. although the wife will sometimes set things up on her husband that we can laugh at  but will have no overall impact to whats going on.

      • Andus_the_Jester

        In all fairness, it probably comes down on how mature the players/DMs are to begin with.

    • Darren Christopher Grant-Hall

      I have a lot of comments about racism, and bigotry. But i will respect the rules of the site and instead share my own couples story as I think that’s a great way to talk without annoying the spoony one.

      Couples in role playing, I’ve seen it be amazing and badly done, there are couples who ignore being couples at the table, couples who use it for intricate plots and developments (which done well are awesome) and people who allow there relationship to interfere , this story is the last one. 

      I taught my friends all from scratch d&d as I’ve played since I was 10 (Now 20) so 3 years ago I taught them how to play, including S and J. //Names hidden. S and J where at first not going out and they roleplayed well, they where new but decently for new guys, it was fun and chilled and relaxed. Now I was lenient on rules as i had 4-6 new players at any time and I wanted to break them in slowly. Eventually I stopped DMing as I hate dming. Real respect for anyone who does it. And J took over. He loves it and is actually very good at it when he isn’t annoyed. He has a bit of a short fuse with people not focusing or people asking him over and over for the same thing or people arguing. 

      And S didn’t learn the rules well. Well she did but never trusted herself to do it, “What dice to I role” I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO TELL ME or in one scene where an NPC with us failed his sneak role shouted at him to be quiet, then demanded to J that he should make him re-roll it because in real life he’d know better… Yeah you see the problem.

      They where both argumentative and S annoyed J with her roleplaying and questions, for 2 years. Games stopped because of her, we all had to play nice (I play often anti-hero type characters, and while being annoyed in character with hers, she took it as me annoyed with her in real life and she got angry and demanded for J to punish me… he didn’t) But they argued constantly, because she and he where boyfriend and girlfriend by this point. 

      The group eventually broke down when they split up, but it was always hugely frustrating playing with them.

  • GreenGear

    It’s like the naked at school dream where you don’t know HOW you got on the bus naked, but that’s no longer important because you’re on the bus naked, and you’ll be at school soon.

  • Eduardo Orlando

    I don’t even know how I would react to it. I think my brain would just shut down for a few minutes, unable to process what just happened. Partly because I’m Hispanic, but still xD

  • Cthulhu07

    I’ve occasionally known to forget a thing or two while leaving home, but never in my life have I forgot to wear pants. That’s just crazy… :D

  • Ray hill

    bent as a 2 bob note = as gay as 2 dollars, lol. Love the counter monkey stories man. 

  • TheOneCalledSloth

    I wish you would play D&D with LordKat again that was awesome.

    • Melissa J Neal

       I do too, but I wish Spoony wouldn’t take a shot at LK’s campaign(s). They may joke around but it’s in character and the story lines are pretty damn awesome. As much as I liked Spoony’s campaign there seemed to be a lot more downtime and bullshitting in those that LK’s. I mean, I find Benoit jokes as funny as the next gal but yeah. Maybe LK can handle the guys and keep them on track better than Spoony as a DM.

  • Michael Mark Maczynski

    “Where were you?”

    “I had to deposit a cheque, sorry guys.”
    See?!  It’s so easy to lie!

  • ORCACommander

    spoon your mike seems to be a bit lower for the past couple vids. mind increasing it?

    its easier on players to run multiple sessions a week but to dm twice a week on two different campaigns is a good way to give yourself to much work

    i can speak from recent expeirence that constantly rerolling characters can contribute to a gamer burn out.  which is why i hate loosing low level characters or characters i am just starting off with. I got no qualms about loosing a pretty well used character its more that i never really had a chance to use the character to begin with.

    I like to joke around during a game but ya you can’t really let it get to side tracked. although once in a while a sidetracking can be kinda nice to get people to relax a bit if the campaign is stressing them out.

    On killer we had have/had a dm that combined wow grind and warhammer 40k meat grinder into the campaign for almost every encounter. Really frustrated a friend of mine since he was a air elemental blood line sorcerer and he pits us against an adult imperial sky sky dragon making his spells effectively useless. and in the next encounter we went up against a a warforged with a shield that absorbed all magic near it until you break a certain crystal on it.

  • Ken Master

    How do you forget your pant?   That the only part that would of made me go you know what just forget game started.     But also Spoony maybe you should make a dvd with all the counter monkey and some of this story like this be in there rather then on the site.  Just saying.    Also does anybody know a good site to play D&D online with people but not like a MMO?

    • Sean Samonas

       If you are interested in play by post games, I recommend  I play there and it seems a really enjoyable site.

      • Ken Master

        Thanks :)

      • Ralf van Goch

        yeah thanks indeed im checking it out now, looks very interesting.
        maybe we can one day setup a game for spoonyfans

  • Dustin Smith

    I can see forgetting your pants. I sometimes forgot to put pants on because of how my boxers at the time looked and felt when  worn. So i can kind of see just forgetting to put some shorts on if you were in a hurry or whatever.

  • Dustin Harms

    Wow… there are so many bad sound-bites in this video that could be taken wildly out of context. But yeah, it really does take all kinds of people… some crazier than others.

    • modtyrant

       Hey!! Two Dustins in a row, what’s my prize!!

  • modtyrant

    What’cha gonna do when they come for you!!!

    You’re in my spot, sir!!!

  • Zejex

    Sounds like a person with Aspergers Syndrome

    • DarkBee

      Oh hell no, racism and bigotry is not logical, so you’d have a hard time finding people with any kind of autism being racist (I know, because I have it, and I fail to see why you need to automatically put other people down because of something they are).

      • Zejex

         I was talking to the normal people who clearly understand what I wrote.

      • Zejex

         BTW, is your name Frederik?

        • NightStarX

          Ah, now I see. I didn’t realize at first, but your ignorance and offensiveness is just for the sake of being a bored troll. Your post here confirms you for just being a troll. Nevermind.

          • Zejex

             “Ah, now I see. I didn’t realize at first, but your ignorance and
            offensiveness is just for the sake of being a bored troll. Your post
            here confirms you for just being a troll. Nevermind.” what does that make you? In 16/20 times, the things you think and say fits yourself, I wonder how long it takes you to NOT reply my bland air of text, because yeah I am bored, and I might get some theories concluded by this, the only reason really, no one would volunteerely approve my theories

        • DarkBee

          No, but is your name Jerrid Foiles? You sound like an ignorant douchebag.

          • Zejex

            I am, I’m surprised you couldn’t tell and had to ask, but oh well, I’m normal so I’m happy.

    • GreenGear

      No, stop that.

      Stop it.

      • Zejex

        Stop what? A guy who seem weird and in their own space in their head, sounds like an Aspergers to me

        • GreenGear

          And you’re telling me you’re not trying to be an offensive knob about this? 

          I know people with aspergers. -Stop-.

          • Zejex

             This is amazing, Aspergers is relatively new thing, and as soon as you mention it, there is a thousand replies with people who know better. I thought bullying over the internet was impossible, so how could I know that my comment would be misinterpretated as a bully attempt.

        • NightStarX

          Then what’s your excuse? Oh yeah, just being a blatant troll trying to stir people up by being an offensive, ignorant ass.

          • Zejex

            I am not even trying, I am not even trying anything, this is just some text. Is it really you guys’ weak spot? I am not even trying, and I am getting more attention than ever, opposed to contructive things I write, it’s weird. And trolls are trying hard, so I can’t be.

        • Ralf van Goch

          aspergers is a made up condition for people who are not mindless sheep and still have their own personality (whether its good or bad)

          • GreenGear

            You too. Stop.

          • Zejex

            Nah dude, it is a slight autism.

    • NightStarX

      Wow. So there’s Gary’s Wife just coming right out and launching into offensive, ignorant diatribes to real people that’s sitting across from her like there’s nothing wrong with it…

      And then there’s people like you that just come right out launching into offensive, ignorant statements to a bunch of people online anonymously in a comment section like there’s nothing wrong with it….

      I guess you really DO run into these insane people, everywhere. I mean seriously? All awkward or forgetful people have asbergers? You’re just going to blurt that out? Just like that?

      …..Ok. What’s your excuse then? Sp, aare you just an offensively ignorant person for the sake of being one then, or what?

      • Zejex

        How was my comment offensive? If you were diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome I would maybe understand why, a bit, but there is no reason to be offended by it.

    • Jeff Larsen

      Having Aspergers myself it wouldn’t surprise me

      • Zejex

        That’s the spirit, there’s nothing to be offended about it right? You are meaning the guy who forgot his pants right?

        • Jeff Larsen

          I found nothing offensive in your comment
          Yeah I meant “Gary”

  • SevenBegore

    It can be pretty jarring to find out the person sitting next to you is a bigot. I didn’t know for many years that my uncle was like that until one Thanksgiving I brought up President Obama. Very awkward.

  • Filip Ängstål

    Umm fun thing… He acctually said gary’s real name once ;3

  • Athena

    You, Spoony, are clearly one of the most tolerant of racist and homophobic people I have ever known. Its amazing that you were able to keep your cool in those situations with her. But I promise to leave it at that. ;)

    And the “I forgot my pants” part did have me giggling so much! Thank you, I really needed that today!

    • Colin Snow

       Sometimes it’s not about the tolerance, but the ire that would explode if one were to not keep their mouth shut.

  • Patryk Halaczkiewicz

    Normally I don’t comment before I watch a vid, but great title

  • Steve Herman

    My group recently had a similar problem. We’re currently playing a game of shadow run where one of my fellow players is playing as a battle grade toaster. Recently the question came up, what kinds of rights do toasters have? Should the toaster receive the same treatment as humans? 

  • Childaeus

    I’ve never played a tabletop game before, but stories about them have always fascinated me. I think part of my apprehension to actually trying it out comes from potential awkwardness with other players. =

    I don’t have any friends who play tabletop games, or ever have, and so if I ever joined a group it would be with complete strangers. My past attempts at coming into a group of strangers who are already friends (as opposed to us all meeting for the first time together) has never really ended well.
    Are there any series/websites where you can watch games in progress to get a feel for the actual process? Or does watching others play not do it justice, as it’s really playing the game (or hearing the truly great ones) that makes it good.

    Also, when people talk about “bad at roleplaying, but good at playing the game” how exactly do you mean? Being “Good at the game” I’m guessing has to do with knowing all the rules and which dice to use and being generally on top of it all with few hiccups, but when people say “roleplaying” do they mean playing the game in a way that’s true to their character? Avoiding meta-gaming and such? Or is it something more like the player will go off and do things that are useless to the campaign/story but fits a character just having a hobby, like paying a minstrel to sing or going to the tavern to drink ale.

    Or (this is the main confusion I have) is it to do with the (I suspect negative?) stereotype of tabletop game players speaking, and perhaps dressing, in character at all times during the game. 

    I have nothing against that sort of thing, but I’m an absolute horrible actor, and would honestly feel quite ridiculous if that’s expected of me because I’d botch the whole thing up something fierce and awkward.

    • ScreamingDoom

       Well, you can take a look at the Obsidian Portal. It’s not -quite- what you want, but it does present a lot of games and many have adventure summaries. to check it out.

  • Zejex

    29:41 sexual frustrations much?

  • Moroz

    Hey, when you mentioned the guy’s wallet, I though maybe he just put on the wrong pair of pants (without his wallet in them) and wasn’t so good at explaining it?

    • Vismutti

      There’s one explanation. :D Or maybe he had like a special pair of RPG-pants? Though one would think he’d notice his slip either way when Noah repeated it so incredulously.

  • Nash Knight

    I was about to write something about weirdo gamers, strict DMs (me), the girlfriend issue, but each of those thing would take too much time. Instead I’ll just post a list that I created back in the day, it says it all:

    1. No matter how much time you spend creating the session, you will forget something.
    2. No matter how detailed your map is, the players won’t understand something.
    3. To 90% of the adults AD&D is a “satanic ritual”.
    4. There’s 90% chance that one or more players won’t be able to come to the session.
    5. If all the players come to the session, the DM won’t come.
    6. If all the players and the DM can come, they won’t have the place to play.
    7. If all the players and the DM can come, and they have the place to play, one of them will have to leave early.
    8. There’s no such thing as “enough dice”.
    9. No matter how much snacks and drinks you buy, there will not be enough.
    10. No matter how much snack you eat, you will still be hungry.
    11. If the drink is spilled, it’s spilled on the character sheet.
    12. You always have to go to the toilet in the most important moment.
    13. If the die rolls off the table, it will roll high.
    14. …and the DM will not accept it.
    15. When you roll your prime perquisite statistic, you will roll the minimum value (so you don’t re-roll), but not a point more.
    16. 90% of all critical hits actually do only 2 damage.
    17. No. 16 doesn’t apply on enemy critical hits.
    18. No matter what level you are, the bartender/blacksmith can always kick your butt.
    19. If you wear heavy armor, the campaign will be set on a boat.
    20. “Hide in shadows” fails only when you are directly behind the enemy.
    21. Climbing checks fail only on the last 10 of 100 meters of the mountain/wall.
    22. All the NPCs you try to steal from are actually retired 20th level adventurers.
    23. …and they are broke.
    24. Although you can disarm the trap, you cannot take it with you (or at least one part of it).
    25. All skeletons in the world are animated.
    26. All corpses in the world are animated.
    27. One good deed deserves a prison.
    28. According to players around the world, there at least 1000000 abandoned temples in Forgotten Realms only.
    29. Same for abandoned castles.
    30. No matter what non-weapon proficiencies you chose, the DM will make them useless.
    31. Animal training is not as cool as it sounds.
    32. Wizard’s of the first 5 levels only use is to add color to the party.
    33. Dragons and +3 items are non-existing during the first 10 levels, and then they tend to appear everywhere and all the time.
    34. Quarterstaffs are good firewood.
    35. …and that’s about their only use.
    36. Sewers are a natural habitat to 90% of all evil beings.
    37. According to DMs around the world, most rangers don’t actually like forests.
    38. 90% of all bandit groups consist of at least one ogre/bugbear/giant.
    39. Even after 1000 years, all traps in a dungeon are still functional.
    40. Priest robes make good bandages.
    41. …and that’s about their only use.
    42. There is no such thing as “one goblin”.
    43. Same for orcs.
    44. Actually, that applies to 90% of evil creatures.
    45. Caravan’s primary use is to attract robbers, so you can rob them.
    46. If it contains three or more gems, it’s cursed.
    47. If it’s a scull and it contains three or more gems, you are dead.
    48. There’s no such thing as “treasure heap in an empty room”.
    49. Enemies have unlimited supplies of ammo.
    50. If it does 1d n damage, it does 1 damage.
    51. Except when used by enemy.
    52. If it heals 1d n hps, it heals 1 hp.
    53. Except when used by enemy.
    54. Female player’s character advance much slower then male player’s character.
    55. Except if she’s DMs girlfriend.
    56. Magic resistance works only on beneficial spells.
    57. Everyone end up in the Abyss sooner or later.
    58. Gods aren’t immortal although they believe so.
    59. Fireball and lightning bolt are more harmful than useful.
    60. Wizards need several years to learn no. 59.
    61. …and it’s usually when they kill themselves with it.
    62. Wild mages live shortly.
    63. Psionic is a cool class, especially if DM doesn’t know much about them.
    64. Elves have pointy ears, dwarves have pointy spears.
    65. Vorpal sword are cool, until you make a critical miss.
    66. Female AD&D players are rarer than gold dragons.
    67. Female AD&D DMs are fictional beings.
    68. 90% of female characters end up being raped.
    69. …50% of them by an ogre/bugbear/giant.

    • Andre Mathieux Gervais

      just taking a quik glance at your list. Kinda looks like Murphy’s law of DnD XD

      • Nash Knight

        That is the original title

  • Ralf van Goch

    You are both bad DM’s imo.
    No offense but you are way too predictable to be a DM and besides that you are too noob friendly.
    I wouldve enjoyed a game with this killerDM way more then your noobfriendly basic fantasy stories.

    • faeyr

      “Noob friendly”, you mean “accessible”? Not trying to offend, but I’d rather invite new players to try out the hobby than just appeal to a smaller and smaller demo. 

      • Egan Dunne

        His bravey is approaching Ron Paul levels.

  • Otto Hämäläinen

    I can nazi what’ss the point of this video. I’m gonna go drink my jews…

  • Dennis Henderson

    Why are 2 dollar bills gay?

    • MichaelT

      I think the expression is supposed to be “queer as a $2 bill” since “queer” is also a synonym for rare or strange.

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      • Demon

        there are many many things wrong with that….. I want a $2 bill damn it =P

        • jdreyfuss

           $2 bills are still in circulation and really not that uncommon. The expression is queer as a $3 bill.

  • Zejex

    This is Spoony’s house, you and behave in Spoony’s house.

    • NightStarX

      You already should have been, four times over already. And I seriously have no idea how you aren’t. I guess he’s not been watching this thread as closely as he claims, or your incredibly stupid “asbergers” comment would never have survived.

      • Zejex

        Did you just make that account to reply or something? Is Noah an Asperger, is it aspergers who are nerds? Are all Aspergers around here? Gezz

  • thehelpingguy

    you think she’s extreme?
    I know a guy who calls himself JOSHI the Drako and is the most extreme person I know. Don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy, but difficult.

    I tried to assemble a group with him three times by now, but it always broke apart at his debates and POV’s. As I said before, I don’t think it’s entirely his fault. Most people just feel uncomfortable to play with a pansexual furry who worships Anubis IRL… you know, different.

    And honestly, I am really sorry for him. He tries so hard at coming together with people and is extremely tolerant. He tries to find someone to play since a long time.

  • William Staples

    Moral of the story: Don’t be racist, or your gaming group will bail on you.

    • William Staples

      And don’t forget your pants.

  • Matei Nicolaescu

    Spoony just because you said you are going to watch this thread, I will say this: You are the best, just the fact that you can hold us engaged for 1h, looking at you telling your tales is a big talent. I salute you Sir. from Romania.

    • Demon

      Completely Agree. I sat here and watched all of his counter monkey’s and even though I don’t need to watch I still can’t pull my eyes away, No homo…. well maybe a little.

  • ScreamingDoom

    That’s a pretty crazy story there, Mr. Spoon.

    But one burning question still throbs in my mind…

    Did you leave immediately or did you finish out the session before casting aside the game?

    And if the latter, what happened during the adventure?

  • MichaelT

    To be fair, I too once forgot my pants….in a dream.

  • Mokuren

    I played with a female AD&D DM.

    Unfortunately, she was terrible.

    This aside, I am the polar opposite of a killer DM. I hate killing players unless they specifically try to and even then I might let them live just to spite them; however, I take it out on them by forcing them to try and be smart and keep their wits around lest they become playthings to a schemer or seven, and occasionally face them with opposition they cannot possibly face in a fair fight.

    Plus, a dead PC is a PC to which you can’t do anything anymore and I don’t like to have afterlives with revolving doors, so I’d rather have death be final and just be careful with it.

    But then again, my games are all about relationship charts and tea parties.

  • Kyle Harder

    ok spoony, you are wondering why she came out like that to you, i can tell you why, but i have to equate it to something else, i don’t know if that’s ok, not trying to be offensive, but its really the only way i can explain it. 

    a gay person has 2 groups that are the hardest to tell… family, and friends. outside of those two groups, its easy to be whatever you want… 

    a racist person has the same problem… its easy to tell a stranger, but family and friends, especially if they aren’t even close to what you beleive… bit harder to tell… than again racism is a bit easier than coming out.

    what i’m saying is basically she didn’t know you, and had no reason to hold back… i do this to people i first meet too… i give them my personality, they don’t like it, nothing of value lost, they can stand me… they are a person that has potential to be a good friend (i’m more creepy than anything else) 

  • Kalle Anka

    Aww, Spoony never said what kind of character ‘Gary’ played as in their Thieves World game.

    Assuming he was the priest? that dropped out.

  • Kepa140

    This doesn’t have anything to do with this story but I’ve noticed that at least in the last three stories (thieve’s world 1&2 and this one) Noah has his shoes on. Propably in the other ones too.
    So I’m just wondering why do Americans have their shoes on inside? Not all of them but many people I’ve met do this. NO HARM INTENDED just curious.

    • jankahl

      I’m guessing it’s just a custom. I mean, why do Japanese people have separate shoes for walking inside the house? Answer: Custom.

      • SevenBegore

        It’s all a conspiracy manufactured by Hoover to sell more vacuum cleaners.

        • Kepa140

           Of course! Now it all makes sense. And Nazis live on the dark side of the moon! Right? XD

          • SevenBegore

            Now you’re getting it

          • Kepa140

             I’m learning so much today!

          • ORCACommander

             actuelyl in general we do not where in shoes inside unless we are actively going in andout all day or in this case doing work. go to the cinema snob’s website and brad jones is regularly on film barefoot

          • Kepa140

            Allright. I didn´t mean everyone has their shoes on and I konw that there are some people that don’t do this but I ment that from what I’ve seen it’s not that weird to have your shoes on inside unlike in some countries where it might be very rude. But hey. That’s only my opinion. I live in Finnland and can’t argue about this stuff. i thought that it might’ve been a cultur thing or something. Turned out that I was wrong

          • jdreyfuss

             From what I can tell, taking your shoes off in a house is more of a midwestern thing. It’s really not that common outside places where the snow gets deep enough to muddy your shoes.

      • Kepa140

        Ok thanks, I could’ve guessed that but I was kinda hoping for something cultury or something lol.
        I didn’t know about that Japanese shoe thing. Thanks for that! Now I’m a little bit smarter :)

    • Colin Snow

       Honestly, I think it’s just a personal preference. Below or above this (depending on where it’s placed) someone mentioned The Cinema Snob. He does it for comfort, from my understanding (from one of his videos … don’t remember which) he does not like wearing shoes for some reason.

      I wear shoes inside cause..well… it just feels more comfortable really.

  • Ralf van Goch

    This chick should be shot!
    As a matter of fact, this bitch is horrible and should be arrested!!

    Couldnt resist :$

  • Konstantine Rymaruk

    The situation with pants just cracked me up, thanks for sharing Spoony.

  • SevenBegore

    Generally bringing someone’s significant other into a RPG is guaranteed to start shit. At least that’s what I’ve heard from my friends that role play. I don’t. 

    One good example is my former roommate getting his wife involved in one of his games. The first time he let her roll up her own character she died one turn into the game. Then she decided to invite a friend of hers to play, having said nothing of this to anyone else before getting her all excited about it and starting her designing a character. This may be an odd case, though, since the girl in this story has the IQ of pudding.

    • Egan Dunne

      Never had a problem with this, but it really does come down to the people involved. Both of the times when there was someone’s significant other in the group, it was the DM’s girlfriend, and both DMs had a good sense of humor or at least were able to be spiteful enough to mess with their girlfriend.

      On the other hand, the people who seem to think that their relationship will fall apart because their significant other doesn’t get a +5 Vorpal at level 3 invite immediate problems because they have no spine. 



      • Svenne Svenningtion

        I date my DM and I got out of my way to avoid that whole “DM’s girlfriend” stereotype. I he doesn’t pull any punches with me and I don’t get any special treatment. It can actually have really funny results at times.

        At the end of the quest when the treasure was divided the other guys just kind of jumped in and took shit before I got a chance. All that was left was a diamond necklace. I thought to myself “Oh well, I can just sell it and get something useful.” I found out when we got into town and the necklace was fake, it turned out when he rolled the items that’s how it came out. Fuck.

        That’s when I just laughed and jokingly gave the DM crap about the fact that even in an imaginary setting he’s too cheap to get his girlfriend real jewelry. That got a laugh out of the group and we moved on. I decided later I’d probably just pass it off as real and sell it to some dope in another town.

        The point being, it can work, but like anything it depends on the individual. 

    • Demon

      Oh I could see how that would cause lots of problems because you can’t kick out or be to aggressive to the girlfriend and the GF’s Friend otherwise the BFriend might get very angry with you. Even if those 2 are breaking the rules or getting you killed the Bfriend might still keep her there because she’s having fun and there is nothing you can do about it.

  • jankahl

    Hear hear!

  • Jope-san

     I once forgot to wear socks and had to go buy a pair before going to class :D

    • Colin Snow

       Socks are… a little different then pants. One can get away with (and not get arrested for) not wearing socks.

  • Jori Jokinen

    There are two types of people I can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other peoples cultures…

    And the dutch.

    • rollerickus

      Oehhh, that comment, Jori… watch it, or spoony will ban you…
      just like all the other Finns

      (joking, joking…)

    • Demon

      ahhh good old Austin powers.

    • Jan Sterckx

       I am dutch…

      *trows a flask of acid at your face*

    • sbkMulletMan

       That does it.  Now the shoosting begins. 

  • Walmor Carvalho

    Come  on Spoony…i’m a huge fan of your work, i follow you for like 3 years but…i dont know how exactly to tell this, but only the most Die-hard type of fanboys like this thing. If you are reading this, I know you might think”Who is the motherfucker? Who the fuck he thinks he is to tell me how to do my job?” And you are right. As far as things go, I am nobody, but if my oppinion means anything, i needed at least a chance to ask you when are you going to end the Ultima series, when are you going to review other movies and games the way you used to. To make really funny, sly and intelligent jokes.
    To make really funny, original and inspiring videos.
    I feel ya, bills gotta be paid, meds ougha be bought and blood shall be shed but please, instead of releasing videos where you either milk from TGWTG dudes (some of which, i may say, seems to be relly rad dudes) either you just rant and ramble for about 1 hour on some topic that really…almost no one cares.
    I believe that the real core fans of you dont mind waiting for a bit longer for these good videos and, if you may hear a suggestion, make the Vlog videos shorter or try to illustrate them. Maybe, trying an obscure and nostalgic videogame-themed channel on TwitchTV. This way, you might please both audiences from your website, cash in dem good dollas and make your image among the interwebz better!

    Anyways, sorry about the long post, i hope this comment draws your attention and seriously wish most succeess, much WIN and a bright future to this website.

    Hail from Brazil

    • faeyr

      “Almost no one cares” and “real core fans”? So, wait…you want him to just stop doing Counter Monkies until you get exactly the video you want? I think we’re doing just fine and having some fun with extra Spoony content while he works on the stuff you’re waiting for. I don’t think it’s an either/or thing and I’m just glad he’s feeling better and sharing some stories. Of course, I dig pen and paper RPGs and maybe they just aren’t your thing.

    • Demon

      I’m sorry but I have to reply here there’s a few things I disagree on.
      1)”only the most Die-hard type of fanboys like this thing”
      you can not just say that. You don’t know who likes it and who don’t.
      2)”I know you might think”Who is the motherfucker? Who the fuck he thinks he is to tell me how to do my job?”
      I don’t think spoony would say that personally. What you are giving is your criticism  on the topic you are his fan, If he stopped listening to his fans he would lose them.
      3)”when are you going to end the Ultima series”
      I’m pretty sure he’s still working on it. he’s not going to just drop it for something else like that.
      4)”I believe that the real core fans of you dont mind waiting for a bit longer”
      Then you can wait a bit longer for it since he released a FFX-2 Video not long ago.

      Anyway’s that’s my 2 cents.

    • SevenBegore

      I personally love these Counter Monkey vlogs. ‘Course I’m the sort of guy that likes to hear old guys tell stories about how “all this used to be woods!” and such, so maybe I’m the odd man out. I’ve watched the Toilet Pizza one several times.

    • NightStarX

      Huh. I didn’t know that “no one cared” equated to “nearly 200 comments, universal praise and admiration from nearly every follower, the majority of viewers already here, and waves of pages of on-topic debate on every single post.”

      Yeah. Obvious troll is obvious. Go the hell away, thanks.

    • Colin Snow

       Ok… you say your a fan of his so here is some responses to the things you asked:

      “i needed at least a chance to ask you when are you going to end the Ultima series”

      While he doesn’t (always) say what he is working on he does post about them on his twitter account:

      March 12th 2AM – “New Counter Monkey soon. Sorry it’s been a while since reviews– I’m working on two right now.”

      “when are you going to review other movies and games the way you used to. To make really funny, sly and intelligent jokes.”

      The way he used to? When he was living in his parents house using a shitty video camera, the sound was crap, and there was no opening animation? …

      “instead of releasing videos where you either milk from TGWTG dudes (some
      of which, i may say, seems to be relly rad dudes) either you just rant
      and ramble for about 1 hour on some topic that really…almost no one

      First off he was invited there, the only reason half (if not more) of the audience is here is because of his success with TGWTG and various crossovers. I honestly didn’t know about him until I saw the Battlefield Earth video that Doug did.

       “I believe that the real core fans of you dont mind waiting for a bit
      longer for these good videos and, if you may hear a suggestion, make the
      Vlog videos shorter or try to illustrate them.”

      I think you missed the point of what a blog, vlog, and podcast is about. They are not meant to be bight flashy and showy nor animated depictions of things (you want him to animate a racist woman??) The reviews have clips of movies and video games in them because they are meant to. A video log is not that.

      I know you probably mean well with your post, but honestly posts like yours are the ones that the reviews either laugh at or ignore.

    • Vismutti

      Other people covered the other issues already but here’s one more: when he posts videos from other TGWTG people, that’s not “milking”, that’s “promoting”. He’s doing them a favour, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t get paid for it, unless the site has some sort of agreement about that. The way I understand it, he’s just letting his fans know about other videos he cameos in or would like to recommend.

  • jake

    dude I gotta ask, where you at that /tg/ thread?
    kinda sounded like you were refuting the bullshit that some of the retards who want DMs to hold their hands were spouting about you.

  • faeyr

    Off topic I suppose, but if you’re inspired by Spoony’s tales and want to get into roleplaying, but don’t want to keep a lot of rules in your head or spend a lot of cash, I recommend the Savage Worlds system. I’ve been gaming as a player and GM off and on for 15 years (mostly D&D 2nd edition through 3.5, new and old WoD, with some Palladium games, Shadowrun and B5 thrown in), and found SW at just the right time. A universal system like Gurps, with an emphasis on fast pulpy storytelling over rules crunch, and the Savage Worlds Explorer Edition gives you all the rules you need for any setting for ten bucks. It’s a good place to start before diving in to some of the more complicated systems.
    Sorry if this came across as an advert, but my weekly group and I have been loving it, and most of the players are relative beginners.

  • rollerickus

    I’ve got some friends, who always are racist about Jews. Like when they talk about rich people or screwing the system. And they kind of joke about it, and say that I shouldn’t take it seriously, but it bothers me.
    But they roleplay pretty awesome. A bit dark and evil, but not overdone.

  • Mateusz Dąbrowski

    I really enjoy all The Counter Monkey stories (even the weird ones). I would say that they inspired me to try and start playing again. Friend of mine is planing to start a game in a steampunk RPG system called Wolsung. I’m anxious to try something new.

    Keep up the good work Spoony.

  • marobot

    Im really curious….Why Not ? Why not have a conversation about  racism or homophobia ? Im all for heavy moderation when someone goes in someone else’s face because of their opinions, but forbidding ANY type of conversation bout the topic YOU brought up ? That’s kind of a dick move, dont you think ? Especially since you pretty much ended the video with:

    Here’s a big Red Button, it has “Dont push” written on it, so don’t push the big red button, its strictly forbidden  to push the big red button….so dont do it.

    Love every Counter Monkey episode ya record…so i hope i see even more of em in the future ^^

    • Demon

      Because 1 person see’s something one way and another person will think a different  and both think they are right and won’t shut up till the other person agree’s with them. now times that by how many people comment on this website. That is why.

    • Christopher Alex Ray

      He doesn’t want people to discuss it because people are completely incapable on a fundamental level to have a calm and rational argument over topics such as this. It’s Spoony’s nice way of saying “shut up you radical morons and just watch the video.”

    • Aurini

      Because we’re all here trying to have fun; all that needs to be said on this is that immigration – both legal and illegal – is a complex issue, and that this chick’s approach was hilariously inappropriate.  Dollars to donuts, any intelligent person who shares her conclusions would completely disagree with her reasoning.

      Plenty of other places where we can talk about these things.  Spoony does a great job of being insightful, while remaining apolitical.  It’s a tightrope act – and we should all be thankful for that.

  • Dragdar

    Only the pants part was interesting…
     and i WAS HOPING IN VAIN again and again form minute to minute that this would be an actual RPG adventure story.
    Even the most die-hard fans wouldnt consider this time-worthy content.

    We dont look forward to hearing about gossip and just flat-out political debate interaction with people.

    If someone wanted to talk about politics there’s plenty of websites from radical-liberal neo-con(jewish) to stormfront.

    And if you’re “not trying to start a political debate” then why post this? It’s the only natural reaction, to start debating this.
    It just doesn’t make any sense, this should have gone into the “scrapped material” drawer.

    • Demon

      Wrong. Just wrong.

      • Dragdar

         Correct. just Correct.

        • draxo

          No, wrong. You are wrong.

        • NightStarX

          Shut the fuck up, troll. Get off this site. You’re so obvious it’s astounding. And your wrong. And an idiot. And self-absorbed. And ignorant. And completely in denial of the obvious popularity of this topic.

          You don’t belong here and your opinion is irrelevant.

          • Erkka Nikkanen

            Not really, He just says he doesn’t think this is really funny. Which I can understand, like I keep bringing up, I didn’t like the toilet pizza video. He also states that if you bring up sensitive issues that are bound to cause a reaction and tell people *not* to react is kinda… Well nonsensical.Granted he does bring it up in a… shall we say… “Blunt”…Manner?

          • faeyr

            Oh, “blunt” is a euphemism for “anti-Semetic”….I see what you did there.

          • jdreyfuss

             No, he’s trolled other videos spouting hatred before. It wasn’t just a reaction to this video.

    • Christopher Alex Ray

      I consider this time-worthy and you have no right to say what anyone on here would consider time worthy. If you don’t like it don’t watch it. Furthermore, if you going to complain you are more than capable of going and making your own web series that I will choose not to watch. Thank you and goodnight.

    • Svenne Svenningtion


    • Michael Valenzuela

       …’Neo-Con (JEWISH)’?

    • Erkka Nikkanen

      Well essentially THIS is what Counter Monkey is. A collection of different experiences involving RPGs. Sometimes memories of the RPG sessions itselves, sometimes about people who play them, sometimes a certain moment.

      It’s everyones own choice what they like, I didn’t really “love” the Toilet Pizza for example. But I still don’t tell people that “they shouldn’t watch this” or “this is a waste of time” because, shock and horror, people often have different views on things!

  • Michael Wierenga

    I love that you are using the fake name, “Gary”.  Because 12 minutes into this, it sounds like a Gary I had known in DnD.  Somebody was rolling a new character every game.  He did lighten up eventually.

  • Ben Alsop

    Well, I was expecting a story about an adventurer who refused to wear pants.  I was considering different situations of hilarity that could ensue, but this counter monkey was a bit more serious that I was expecting.  Still not bad though.  Being a bit eccentric, I have been know to go to the store in pajama pants.  That’s because I didn’t care though.

  • IrkenTrad

    I’m giddy about this.  You should really consider making that book you mentioned way before, I’d definitely buy it!

    • StHubi

      A book about “Counter monkey”? Make it a Kindle book and I’ll preorder! (Shipping from the USA to Germany is a little bit too expensive for my taste.) :D

      This story was really, really good! The pants were one thing, but hearing you talking about racism made me proud to support you all those years. I know that it is difficult to talk about political topics and especially racism. So I will keep my mouth shut.

      Keep up the good and entertaining work!

  • Aleksander Adamkiewicz

    I’m not here to start anything, but…


    How do you mix up a Polish guy with a Hispanic?!

    • Sulfur12

       Accent. A lot of spelling is similar. And propably guy had a tan or smth :P Besides… you would have to know that there is such a country as Poland in first place.

  • Markos_1980

    Bahahahaha, “I forgot my pants”. Wait… what? HOW?

  • ScutigeraColeoptrata

    “Yeah, I’ll be there if in five minu-oh, wait, I forgot my pants.”

    “What? Dammit dude, can’t you just steal a pair?”

    “…I’m not that kind of thief.”

    • DrBreakfastMachine

      “You should go get some pants man.”
      “No! I want a deck of many things!”
      *everyone stares in fury*

      • Ian Arnold

        At least a deck of many things could get him out of his current predicament, thus granting him pants.

    • Zipper Dragon

      -.- You sir……Are a Palidan

  • Bryce McIntosh

    Oh boy, I did Nazi that coming!

    • Matthew Forester

      Puns like this aren’t funny, Anne Frankly I find them highly offensive.

      • Taylor William Hardy

        that’s hialarious there’s jews no two ways about it. (weak I know)

  • godmars

    I forgot my pants once – but then I woke up.

    (Yes, should have said, “but then I took an arrow to the knee” but the whole dream thing actually “happened.” 

  • Janina Porazinska

    ‘i forgot my pants’
    Maybe this is irony?
    You may lie – when you care (‘my dog started to vomit’, whatever), when you think others care about your presence.

    But you may lie very weak and weird on purpose. It is kinda inteligent when you lie ‘i forgot my pants’ and you imagine if they take it seriously and stop playing to think about it – like You did.

    You believed,that somebody can forgot his pants. THIS IS SUTPID. :P (but maybe this person RLY was SO stupid, that anyone would).

    but still enjoy video, never played rpg, but this serie is cool.

  • Erkka Nikkanen

     This kinda falls into the same category as the tale of the Toilet Pizza, not one of my favorites. I personally rather hear about tales about RPG themselves, but I still don’t react like some people who are like “This is ungodly funny!” or “How dare you post this” I’m more like: “Eh. It’s one any to kill time.

    And I get, this is Spoonys site, he can post what the hell he likes, and sometimes he just “experiments” how people react, like with the Madness of Roland or that girl’s board game review.

    So yeah, goes into my least favorites like the toilet pizza, but I’m still gonna keep watching ‘em, cause I’m nerdy and like Counter Monkey.

  • zach mitchell

    Man i’m really liking this ser OH shit where’s my pants dammit i forgot my pants again

  • peteman

    I have a friend who can be a bit similar. Back when he lived in our city, he was almost always an hour late. I can forgive him somewhat, he lived on the other side of the city and public transit can take time and couldn’t always secure a lift from his parents (he didn’t own a car). Still, there were points when we considered setting the game an hour early and simply trick him into showing up on time.
    Heh, I recall an amusing story where I messed with one of my friends. We normally had our game at one of the guy’s house, but we had it at my place for some reason. Anyway, the guy who we normally have it at arrived early (as usual for when it’s at other people’s places), and I convinced him to play a joke on the next guy to arrive. What would happen is that the first guy would say to the next guy that I had mistakenly went to the first guy’s place thinking the game was there. It worked perfectly and I could hear the second guy spazzing out over this for about a minute. I then walked in just to see the look on his face.

    It was all in good fun.

  • CommieCatGirl

    Role-playing with your girlfriend?  What’s next, making her an admin on your internet forum?

  • krumovies26

    I really want to thank you for sharing those stories Spoony, because
    I’ve known a guy almost exactly like “Gary” for a large part of my life.
    This is kind of a long story I have, but I want to share it to make it
    clear how much I appreciate your last video.

    You see, I volunteered at a public access TV station all through high
    school and most of college, and there was another volunteer there who
    I’ll call “Phil.” He was on disability just like Gary, so he pretty much
    spent all of his time at that TV station. Also like Gary, Phil had a
    very unique view of the world.

    Phil constantly hit on me for the first year that I knew him (when I was
    15 and he was at least 21), then for a while he insisted that everyone
    call him by the name of his alter-ego. After that, he would routinely
    tell people about local monsters that hatched from human feces, and that
    everyone needed to give themselves diarrhea to prevent that plague from
    escalating. He aired several PSA’s about this topic on the TV station’s

    I tried to be polite and friendly to Phil for six years, but he
    eventually became so distracting and invasive that I couldn’t get any
    work done. Needless to say, I stopped trying to hide my frustration.

    The last time I saw Phil was at one of the station’s annual Christmas
    dinner parties, where he was probably at his worst. All night, he was
    either staring at my table from across the room, interrupting
    conversations to say really inappropriate things, or digging around in
    other people’s hair. I’m serious. He did that. I was also at my worst; I
    snapped at him constantly and just had a sour disposition the whole
    time. After the party, I swore off volunteering at that station for

    The point I’m trying to make with all of this is that I’ve always felt
    awful about that night. There was nothing physically wrong with Phil,
    but I still felt like I’d been mean to a disabled person. I have almost
    no social life, and I often wonder if it’s because I’m a horrible person
    who drives everyone away. Hearing your stories about Gary and his wife
    made me realize that it’s only natural to have limits with extreme
    people. You’re obviously very considerate and intelligent, Noah. The fact
    that someone as good as you lost patience with someone like Phil (albeit more discreetly
    than I did) is really comforting. So thanks.

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Wow that’s awful and creepy! I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re not a bad person at all! I rarely have patience for people I dislike and I tend to avoid them like the plague. 

  • Jayden Reynolds

    Spoony, you either remembered the name of the friend whose name you forgot or you accidentally revealed Gary’s real name.

    • Richard Cresham

       It was the friend, who had gone to the bathroom. I thought the same thing for a second until I listened to it again.

      • Jimmy TehFreak

        so Dominic’s name was Adam? I thought it was the buddy who was egging Gary’s wife on

  • rewind83709

    You know….I’ve only ever had dreams about showing up somewhere not having pants, or my uniform or whatever.
    But honestly, “You forgot your pants!” That is really messed up.

  • Michael Wierenga

    Now having listened to the whole story much more is revealed.  Yep, free country, free to say what they want, free to be a hateful idiot. 

    I kind of wonder if he was late so often was because of relationship issues.  But this is all speculation from some random person a thousand miles away.

    Or he was just a flake with a lady who needs to walk about 50 miles in various other peoples’ shoes.

  • Zach Lewis

    Kudos to running with him past the “hour and a half late” thing. If somebody showed up more than an hour late to a game I was in even once, odds are I’d never play with them. You’ve got some legendary patience- I salute you sir.

  • AceOfShades

    Ha, here in the UK, pants are called trousers and pants means underwear, so the first time I heard this I thought of something completely different….

  • Ola Jansson

     I have never played D&D or anything like that, but I love these stories and I hope you keep ‘em coming !

    Sending some love from Sweden !

  • Dreammirror

         I have past experience with a harsh d&d campaign where every single fight was a struggle just to survive (and we were experienced players using teamwork and knowledge).  Every fight ended with us feeling like rubber dolls in a sadist convention.  Needless to say, that campaign didn’t last very long.  When I dm, I too, do not coddle the players or give them a pass on combat, but I also don’t want them so frustrated that its a chore to come play once a week either.  D&D is supposed to be about fun! About gathering with friends you enjoy being with and talking to-to overcome dragons and orcs and traps-to slay evil and rescue the innocent (for pay or honor-take your pick) and being the hero!  Being a DM is a hard job-takes the right mix of being tough and fair minded to pull off-not everyone is cut out for it. 
         One last point, how do you forget pants?? that just blows my mind… O.o   I need a spoony t-shirt that says “Pants? Sorry, I’m not that kind of thief” :p

  • insanoludacrous

    if there is to be a moral, it would probably be to keep your personal prejudices to yourself. no one wants to hear it, and therefore it shouldn’t be brought up.

  • Doctor Madness

     Sadly, I think I was my group’s “Gary,” it was either me or this one
    other guy. I constantly needed a ride to the game, though the other guy
    was rather belligerent and loud-mouthed, he expected compensation for
    bringing food or drinks to the game and would throw a fit about it
    regularly. Furthermore, he would badger people for gas money when he had
    a job that paid rather well, while the rest of us were barely employed,
    if at all.

    • Jimmy TehFreak

      different etiquette i suppose.  It’s more common than you think when someone brings snacks and drinks that people pitch in for it.  And the idea of wanting compensation falls under believing that the important point is not what you do for a living but what you’re pitching for other peoples comfort. The game isn’t charity afterall. 

      • Lee Erickson

         It depends.  If nobody asks you to bring anything and you show up with a bunch of snacks expecting payment, I think that’s rude.

  • Justin Chambers

    I’m more shocked that HE FORGOT HIS PANTS!

  • Richard Richardson

    If “Gary” was not late coming over and he told me he would be if he had to go back and put pants on I would be like “Just come over and we’ll just give you a towel to wear…” Some things are more important then pants =p

  • newyy1

    “Gary” can’t get a job because he’s a dumb stoner fuck!

    • Jimmy TehFreak

      what makes you think Gary was a stoner? he was on disability, doesn’t necessarily mean he was on medical marijuana – could be long term illness, could be physical occupational injury

  • THE Sami Ryyppö

    Woah… what a stupid person…… forgets his pants? Gosh!

  • jesternario

    I know the feeling about playing with GMs that don’t have pacing in fights. I remember this one guy who was GM for a D&D game where not only did every fight begin seeming epic (he made the mistake of allowing a psionicist), but the reasoning for the adventure was flawed to the point that several players (me included) went “what’s the point?”

  • Mateusz K.

    When you have problems with names of your friends, may I suggest using their player characters’ names instead?
    Never played with such weird players, altough my friend’s gf was a major nuisance during games, as she would constantly get mad or angry at whatever … like not being able to kill someone or not making a saving throw or not being able to do something her character couldn’t do… to the point she would rip her character sheet and storm out and the dm (her bf) would have to go after her and get her back… every… single… game…  I take any creep over mad idiot any day :)  

  • newyy1

    Once this video is finished, I’m going back to 17:24 just to hear “I forgot my pants.”

  • Kitsula Tsulakala

    He forgot his pants. That would cause my jaw to drop too.

  • newyy1

    What a crazy sitch that was.


    I should probably point out that sitch is short for situation… just in case.

  • arcanedude34

    If you have to include a five minute rant about how you don’t want to start racial/political/sexuality wars in the comments section, how it isn’t what your site is about, and that there’s not really a point to the video, then common sense says don’t post it. :V

    • Jordan Stone

      The point is for people to enjoy the video and have a good laugh, if you don’t get that then leave this website because you clearly don’t belong.

  • The_Hut

    I’ve met some crazy people while role playing.  One guy I remember was a guy we called Torg.  That was his character name and we gave him that nickname because he really liked it.  He played a barbarian type guy with the intelligence of someone like The Hulk.  And in the game he took some weird delight in chasing down bunnies and beating them to death.  Always yelling, “Torg smash!”  Much like what Spoony said, it was funny the first time and we still tell that story in jest, but he kept doing stupid things and it just extended the playtime from a couple hours to all day long.  It got really annoying.

  • Burns42

    I know what you mean about “Garry time” I’ve got a dm who’s always late for everything. We always make jokes about the proper formula to figure out when he’s actually going to show up, but he’s awesome so we put up with it. 

  • SirSeanConnery

    Spoony quit fucking around and do an epic pony tail already! I could see you doing a Mel Gibson Patriot type thing.

  • Jesse Bissell

    Was that a Hank Hill accent when quoting “Garry?”

  • Jeremy Leight

    I get the impression that your racist “friend” was just bursting at the seams with frustration at a situation.  I’ve come to a head in similar situations because I can’t stand religious fundamentalism.  Sure, it’s not the same thing–but my point is frustration can make someone irrational.  At least you were just playing a game; my situation ended up with me having to move out of an apartment very suddenly.

    SirSeanConnery–I TOTALLY read that as Spoony giving an in-depth review of MLP:FIM.

  • Paul D’Arbonne

    Damn Spoony, you have met some colorful people, I’m glad I never met anyone that nuts. As a gay man, don’t worry, I agree, what she did was in poor taste. Anyone who acts that way, no matter the sexual orientation, is just being plain rude. I’m surprised you guys didn’t kill her character.

  • Garret02

    About forgetting pants. These things happen and when they do, you have no idea why even when you’re the one who forgot. Seriously. I once forgot my backpack to school. Pretty much the only thing you need to bring to school with you. And it’s a little different with backpacks here than in USA (weel I actually base this “knowledge” on cartoons and movies so I dunno how much accurate is this). Each student has to buy his own books for each subject and we carry them around all the time so our backpacks are full of books, notebooks and other stuff everyday. So it weights a little (don’t remember how much because I’m long since finished with my compulsory education) and one day I just went to school without it and I didn’t realize I was few kg short. I realized it at school when I tried to do my homework (I always did my homewrok at school because “hey fuck you, my home time is my free time”) and couldn’t find my backpack and then I was like “Oh you can’t be serious… how did I manage to forget a whole backpack?!” These things just happen (I’m writting here just about forgetting pants, not being late as I hate when people are late).

    And you’re too easygoing with people. I don’t talk to people much, truth be told, I’m scared of people overall but when someone needs to hear something I will tell them straigth. No “diplomatic” approach (because someone might not understand) no trying other people to tell them, just face to face without pulling punches with a person you’ve got problems with. But then again I have like one friend and maybe 2-3 closer acquaintances so maybe I’m not a prime example of how to deal with people :P

    Oh and also in the reference to this video, greetings from Poland :)

    Oh and congratulations on keeping the name hidden :P

  • Kevin Zielinski

    37:20 into the vid you mention Adam o.o did you finally remember your friends name through rage lol? But yeah I agree with you, I would have done the same.

    • sketchesofpayne

       “Doesn’t know me from Adam” is an idiom similar to “Doesn’t know me from the next guy.”

    • SoldierHawk

       Actually, “[doesn’t] know me from Adam” is an expression–it just means she didn’t know him at all. Not that there was someone literally named Adam involved. :-)

  • Travis Prue

    I forgot my pants once… then I took an arrow in the knee.

    • Anthony Magno

      • sbkMulletMan

         Unlike the joke it makes fun of, that video never gets old for me!

  • Maxime Bruno

    I have once gamed with a girl who had certain… issues with following social customs. Mind you, I’m about as sociable as a brick wall, but I can emulate human emotions enough to not publicly scandalize others.

    This person whom I will not name pretty much played a prostitute character. The problematic situation was that she would try to use sex in every possible situation. You’d be at a banquet and she would offer herself to a man in front of his wife. Then we’d all take some time to eat and we’d got to a nearby restaurant where she would just pile things and mix up condiments on her tray. All I could think about is “What about the guys who would wash this?”. She had no qualms being flatulent in public, swearing and pretty much making out with her boyfriend in public. It was quite embarassing really. You then have to add the habit screaming so loud that I legitimately thought she had been stabbed when she broke her nail (I understand that this may be painful for a woman, but that was an I’m going to die scream) and her habit of belittling her boyfriend and controlling every bit of his life, including reading his emails and deleting them if they didn’t please her.

    It’s hard to dislike a girl a friend of yours is dating (well, in my case, it was not a close one). But yeah, since he was dating her, the him that was enjoyable to hang around with was gone so I decided it was time to just not invite him anymore. He wasn’t particularily close to me, but his closest friends in the group had to do several interventions and at one point had to let him go.

  • Christopher Tindall

    Now, I just want to play devil’s advocate for a moment and make a point: I’ll agree her ignorance was at its peak when she disregarded to being corrected on the matter of Dominique being Polish. However, I have to defend her ignorance in that she couldn’t distinguish between the two purely on the grounds that she clearly had no idea what a Polish person looked like.

    If you’ve never seen an image of a Polish man or woman nor given an explaination of their appearance, you’d have no clue how to distinguish one from anyone else.

    Now I know that doesn’t excuse her blatant racism, but you can’t knock her, or anyone in any situation for being unable to identify someone by nationality if they’ve never seen the differences. That’s all I wanted to say, thank you.

    • Turcano

        I can see that.  My dad is half Czech and that combined with a lifetime
      of working outdoors means that he could probably pass for either Hispanic
      or Middle Eastern, at least until he opened his mouth.

  • James Griffeth

    love this vidzz keep the come’in

  • Mike P

    Heh, I really liked the “I forgot my pants” line, really funny! Interesting story in total, however.

    I do have to say I agree with you about the politics and religion…. no-talk zone. I’m sure most, if not all, of us have something we can say on the matter but this is an entertainment spot to have fun. Yeah, while some games or movies you talk about may have some political or religion (FFX and XII if you want to be specific) slant there’s no reason to fixate on it. Keep up with Counter Monkey, Spoony!

  • MechaVelma

    That’s one of the problems I’ve had with rpgs and especially live action rpgs. While they have a lot to offer to intelligent people looking for escapism, they can easily attract people with anti-social personalities who are also looking to escape the confines of a society who tell they are flat out wrong for having anti-social values.

    Therein lies the catch of fantasy games and why movies like Mazes and Monsters can make the imaginations of the uninformed run away with them.

  • Lowcifur

    I think the most important part of this entire video is the logistics of forgetting one’s pants.  We need to fund a NASA committee to research and reverse-engineer this phenomenon.

  • Jimmy TehFreak

    I don’t know why but I expected to hear more about how difficult his campaigns were – I guess after Leaping Wizards and Tandems Last Ride I’ve grown used to listening to the stories of the campaigns.

  • Norrikan

    I must commend you for your restraint, when someone spouts racist nonsense like that at me, I usually flip my shit very quickly. The last time I heard a remark along those lines in my local gamestore, I packed up my stuff mid-game and left. This is one of the reasons I only rp with close friends, where the worst that can happen is finding out another fetish they have. I quote here: “Oh shit, I’m still wearing the nipple clamps!”.

    Regarding Killer-DMs:Since I always have to DM for our group (*dammit*), it is a fairly established fact that I tend to be a quite nasty Gamemaster, at least in most games. But since we mostly run campaigns with a political or social focus, it is less of a meatgrinder and more of a slow psychological torture. Curiously, the entire group nowadays dislikes games that are more easy-going, rapidly growing bored whenever I suggest to try out something not covered in deathtraps or deals-with-the-devil.
    I guess I conditioned them well over the last few years.

  • Tracey Lackey

    I was shocked when you quoted what she said when your friend left the room. My mouth was literally hanging open. That said, your comment that was essentially asking at what point is it acceptable for a person to express an obviously unpopular opinion on public was what prompted me to post this.

    There’s obviously going to be certain people who don’t care at all about social conventions. I have a friend who is very much anti just about everything the common man enjoys, and she has no qualms about saying exactly what she feels about these people right to their faces. In this case, though, I suspect that the girlfriend assumed you were on her side. I further suspect that she doesn’t even realize that her racist attitude is unpopular or even not the norm. I frequently run into strangers who make such comments in public on crowded trains in front of a mix of races and backgrounds. They say these terrible things as if everyone on the train is thinking the exact same thing and expects them to agree. Usually it’s just extremely uncomfortable and an awkward silence that follows a statement like that.

    I don’t know what makes a person so blind to everyone else’s feelings and the uncomfortable silence that inevitably ensures any more than I know what makes these people feel the way they do in the first place. Unfortunately, though, I do realize that it doesn’t seem to have an impact on how they express their opinions in public.

    It’s too bad something like that had to ruin a gaming experience. Although you probably would have died in his campaign anyway!

  • cdcdrr

    Wow, that went from awkward to *really* awkward. I can imagine why that friend wanted to draw attention away from your aghast face.

  • Daniel Paul Chadborn

    I have two things, one on topic, and a comment on something you said.

    The no pants thing is nothing. Very few people have had the pleasure of gaming with Gene. The man who in the middle of the gaming store, took off his shirt cause it was hot (he is not a small man). And this display of skin happening on the only day we gamed, which Gene dubbed “Dirty Sunday” the one day a week he was exempt from bathing. Gene has become famous in our circle of friends as a “wild card” player. Despite the smells and crass attitudes and behaviors he is known for, you never quite know if he will act admirably, roleplay better than everyone at the table, or, what usually happened, screw up so monumentally he would end games (or at least force a break while the DM figured out how to salvage it)

    On a more serious note. Noting the idea that racist or prejudiced individuals must somehow know that their thoughts are in the minority or radical, while I would like to say so, from a psychological perspective they really don’t. They have a long line of prejudiced attitudes they they have picked up from somewhere and using that back they will have a higher chance to see any opposition or correction as an exception to the rule, even when confronted directly with evidence that proves them wrong. Someone like Gary’s wife/gf has maintained these beliefs and may very well hold the thought that most people share them (though they may not be willing to express or act on them). And the acceptance of these views in her mind comes from a justification in her mind that these people are wrong (as in constantly focusing on illegal immigrants…they are breaking the law so its ok to be prejudiced against them). With this justification for he attitudes formed she holds on to them and keeps being a bigot.
    Sad to say and its the one thing that upsets me the most concerning prejudiced behaviors, the people involved truly believe that they are in the majority or that what they believe is the truth and other people are just blind to it.

    • Lee Erickson

      I totally agree with your second point.  I think a lot of people with extreme views like that feel those views are self-evident, and that most people just don’t say them because of the “PC police.”  When they themselves espouse their radical views, they think they’re the ones with the conviction to say what everyone else is thinking.

  • Retroghost112

    Thank you so much for posting your stories. I always find them entertaining when I can get a moment to listen to them.

  • Nate Schwartz

    Hey Spoony, I just wanted to say that your Counter Monkey series has inspired me to get into tabletop RPGs, especially the DMing aspect.  You’ve always been one of the “internet celebrities” that I love watching, and I just wanted to say thanks. Looking forward to more reviews, vlogs, and Counter Key-mons…. Err… Monkeys.

    • George Rosenbaum


  • LaoShanKingdom

    Dang, Spoony you are on your Counter Monkey grind these past few weeks, im liking these stories a lot dude. Keep up the good work.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    I think you did the right thing Spoony, When Roleplaying either online or tabletop one thing I always convey to my guild online or the players at the table is if ever you feel uncomfortable with a situation please feel free to say something. Not go off on the person but voice your concern in a respectful manner and you did exactly that.

    I am so glad you are putting out Counter Monkey. Not only does it give us RPG veterens something to chuckle at you are really perhaps without knowing it setting some ground rules for new players.

    The final thing I will say and I hope this does not wander into territory you stated in the vid you didn’t want to see. My theory is maybe her behavior was on purpose. Perhaps she didn’t like the fact you had an issue with her character and this was her angle of revenge. To get you so offended that you quit.

  • Amber

    One has to play with a group they feel comfortable with.  I once had the [pleasure of gam,ing in a trilogy comic store.   I only knew 2 of the people there but we played Starwars and Amber DRPG.  I was lucky we only had one or two lil eccentric people there who never pushed things that far.  Sadly that group fell apart due to the manager made the store money so the higher-ups closed it. 

  • Chris Wiggill

    Reminds me of a time when I was working at a guys farm house and he showed me his trophy room. Wall to wall animal heads, I shit myself when I turned round and almost bumped into a giant water buffalo head. There was even a tiny bush baby head in the one corner. All I could do was smile and act normal so as not to offend him, since he was quite a good guy otherwise and an important client.

  • Mathias Scarborough

    This reminds me of the day I realized my grandfather was deathly afraid of Muslims. That was an awkward day.

  • Benjamin Osborn

    One does not simply forget pants. *Borimir Pose*

  • Andrew Henderson

    What I’m surprised at, as much as anything, is the fact that the Gay Stereotype character survived Gary’s campaign for long enough that she was forced to change, for reasons other than death. I know those types of campaigns, and the one good thing about them, is that they tend to kill off those characters before the group has to say something about it. Was there GM favoritism, perhaps?

  • Okanehira

    This wasn’t much of a “counter monkey” still a great video dont get me wrong, but this was more about a guys timekeeping and some racist bitch, it was a little light on “RPG Stories”

  • Stephen Martin

    Hmm… a moral… learn people’s last names?

  • Battle Brush Studios

    Wow, some people really do love their “freedom of speech” thing. Problem is that it so very often it’s the unsavory type who insists on “only speaking their minds” and radicals tend to be so stuck in this weird sight on the world they made up for themselves over the years that they actually think that they got a point. What makes societies work is manners, not opinions.


    Once again, a very good story. Aside from VLogs, Counter Monkey definately is my favorite bit on your site by now. I’ve said it before but I’ll repeat myself: You’re really, really good when unscripted, just talking to the camera. It comes across as very natural, very clear and without any annoying mannerisms in terms of speech or anything else (maybe a little heavy on the swearing every once in a while. ;) ). Anyways, keep it up. You’re back to doing great, entertaining stuff.

    I might be DM’ing a one-off adventure some time soon and your stuff is very inspiring and gets me in the mood to give it a try (haven’t DM’ed in about 10 years and never viewed myself as a great dm at all).

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Like I’ve said before: Freedom of speech means people can say radical things, but it also means you can tell them off. :D

  • MrJinPengyou

    Spoony, you were way more polite than me. I have a really bad temper when it comes to racism or ignorance. Even the conspiracy theorists I can’t help myself and blast them with the fury of Reason. I think people who think that kind of stuff are talking about this publicly like that because they never met people who could tell them that it’s wrong…

  • KillerBunnyFooFoo

    It can be rather shocking when people you’ve only known for a short period of time disclose information like that to you. I am half Asian and half white, but extremely pale and fair. While most people here in the bay can tell I’m something else, most people elsewhere assume I’m full white. A situation like this came up back in high school. I was hanging out with some people I met in class, they were a mostly Caucasian group that was full into hippie nostalgia stuff, and we were walking around downtown and passed a group of kids walking down the street, most of whom were African American. My “friends” crossed over to avoid them and immediately started ranting about the state of the neighborhood and how “those” people were making it a real ghetto, which is rather funny since I was the only one in the party who actually lived in said neighborhood, as they all lived in the newly built middle class section of town. This was the first time I heard this kind of argument from people who I thought were cool, though not the last, and it is not an argument I understand or care to. I know very little about my Father’s side of the family due to racism and with the horrible names they have flung at my mother, it is a gap I doubt will ever be bridged.

    Interesting story, Sir Spoon. I would suggest the moral is how you deal with that kind of person in your rpg, you either go with it, try to defuse it if possible, or you simply leave. I don’t think I could have dealt with it as diplomatically as you did.

  • Maxwell LaChance

    I point to the Hitchcock classic, Psycho,   so it can be done.  Not that it should, but to say it can’t be done, isn’t true.

  • Amy Flynn

    Hey, that pant-less bit reminded me of one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, Round the Twist.  In my favorite episode (and I swear this was really the storyline) one of the characters found a cursed pair of pants in the sand (or something like that) and he was forced to frame everything he said with ” _____ without my pants.”  It became a family joke when we saw someone trying to avoid doing something to say “But I can’t do my homework… without my pants.”  So that immature 6 year old voice popped right back into my head during this video.  

    “But I can’t role play… without my pants!”
    “But I can’t be tolerant… without my pants!”

    Maybe he should get a tattoo of pants on his legs so he never has to worry about that problem ever again.  With that guys common sense though he’d end up with a really trendy tattoo and spend the rest of his life walking around with leopard strip pants tattoo onto his leg.

  • Topher Glenn

    Less Counter Monkey and more Ultima 9! :P

  • Jimmy TheFish

    You know its bad when you get kicked out of a role playing game. Thats why I prefer to play on the console, no pants required.

  • Connor Radcliffe

    say somone:I TOTALLY read that as Spoony giving an in-depth review of MLP:FIM. me too but he need a lot say to him to do that So make fourm does say spoony do want do that and people need yes

  • Kevin Fumero

    Come’on Spoony, enough with the political, racial and spiritual (very smart to keep these as low key as possible so far) banters on these vids. The best parts are the adventures and the colorful characters you meet along the way and the success against difficult adversity (like Wonderland and Tempus). I was actually excited to hear about you in one of Gary’s ‘Character Meat Grinder’ campaign. 

    Oh and, I actually wasn’t horribly offended. Instead I had a huge grin and said “This is Gold”. I laughed so hard when you said you had someone just like that at the table. Awesome!

  • sprezzatura15

     Wow… there are some people out there that are just on a completely different wavelength from the average person- and there’s times when that just doesn’t work. At all. I sympathize with Gary in a way about always being late, I’m one of the least organized people you will ever meet, and it’s really hard for me to factor others into my own personal schedule, but when I get late like for a group I apologize my @** off. Every freaking time. That’s probably just as annoying, but I think it helps diffuse the rage at my general incompetence a bit. That must be terribly frustrating to have someone that just says “Yah, I’m here now… 2 hours late… whatevs…”

  • John Done

     I think when it comes to politics or hot button issues at the gaming table, you either establish well in advance that the people you game with are people you know well enough that you know you all share similar views (somehow) and you can be perfectly open with them, or you establish some degree of common courtesy where you just don’t bring it up. When you’re gaming with people you don’t know, you’re in it for the fun, so it’s best not to risk it and just zip the lip on something you know could be divisive. It sucks when that courtesy fails and everything just becomes really uncomfortable, but I guess that’s bound to happen sometimes.

    I really loved the pants story though :) Haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

  • GozarisaGod

    The Beez! The Beez!

    • Cody Ward

       Bees.  My God.

      • Unholy Fire Dragon

        You have created a buzz!
        It’s very effective! ;-)

  • theryno665

     Oh man, this video reminds me of two stories: one gaming related and one not-so-much.

    Story #1
    So my gaming group of friends (which has kinda since dissolved in the past few years) were playing the Star Wars RPG when one of them excuses himself to the restroom.  We think nothing of it until he comes back down and awkwardly stands next to the GM (whose place we’re playing at) as he’s talking.  This guy tries to ask him a question quietly but didn’t realize he was interrupting the game so we all ended up hearing him ask this:

    “Do you have a hammer?”
    “For my pants.”

    Apparently, one of the buttons or rivets from his pants was bent or falling off and he felt the urge to fix it right then and there.  Oh, and he was also holding his pants in his hands as he was asking this.  Don’t worry, he was wearing shorts underneath since it was nice out but still.  Anyways, we’re all cracking up, even while the GM gets him a hammer so that he can take the hammer to his pants on the floor in the next room.  He’s studying abroad now but we still haven’t let him live it down since.

    Story #2
    I’m currently working on being a stand-up comedian and had my first (and so far only) “road gig” a few months back.  It ended up being in some road house an hour and a half away in the middle of nowhere for some backwoods town’s 20 year high school reunion which we didn’t get paid for but at least got dinner out of it…but that’s all irrelevant to the story. 

    After the show, the three of us that drove from one city and three other comedians that drove another hour further than us are all hanging out with the owner of the place, drinking and shooting the breeze, talking about potential future gigs and whatnot when he drops this bomb in the conversation in reference to nothing we had been talking about:

    “You know, I don’t mean to brag or anything but my boy and I did the sound for the Klan rally that passed through here recently.  I know they get a bad rap and all but they were really kind and polite to us.”

    All of us, who were kinda waiting for an excuse to get back on the road home anyway, had to say “I should go” and left as soon as possible.  On the ride home, we were all kinda like “You know, that guy seemed pretty cool until he told us he hangs out with the KKK.”


    • Victor

       Dude I hope you’re working out that KKK story into a bit.

  • Neil Cathan

    Oh man. We had a worse guy. He was generally fine, politically speaking, with just one fucking button: Africa. His stance on Africa, and give him any excuse to talk about it and he’d take it, was that “Look at the mess Africa got itself into once the white man left. White men did so much good for Africa, and now its just fucked without them.” Guy was a fucking history student too, so presumably he knows something about the past.

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Unfortunately, lots of very educated people actually perpetuate the myth that Africa is a backwards continent and that Africans will never be able to do anything without outside help. It’s just how a lot of educational systems portray Africa, unfortunately. 

  • AutumnDaze

    It impresses, but doesn’t astound me that someone would say they forgot their pants.  I have used that excuse before, to be honest, but it was more for comic relief and as an obvious lie.  Although…I think my friends might have believed me.  

  • Unholy Fire Dragon

    I don’t find myself racist, for the most part, but I do find that I’m generally an idiot at politics. Also, I so happen to disagree with what she says. I’ll just leave it at that.

    I do have stuff to ask about your friend though (the guy who forgot his pants). I’m wondering if the guy is in the autism spectrum. I’m in the autism spectrum myself (specifically, I have Asperger’s Syndrome) and your friend seems to have similar kinds of difficulties with everyday tasks. I know that, for myself, I’ll have times where my mind will just not “connect-the-dots” when it comes to my memory and decision-making, and I’ll even had periods where I get so focused on a specific task that I’ll completely forget what I’m SUPPOSED to do right after, or even at a specified time during it. This stuff even happens when I’ve practiced a routine for a while; I’ll just randomly forget that I’m supposed to bring something with me, or do a specific task at a certain time, even though I’ve always done this stuff before in the same way, and at that same time, every time.

    An example of something that might happen with me is that, let’s say, I wake-up and I figure-out what I’m supposed to do when I wake-up. I’ll be like: “Ok, I’ve got to have breakfast, brush my teeth and gather my stuff for school.” So, I prepare breakfast and then eat it all. I may then think: “Ok, look…” *sees bagpack* “I’ve got to go to school now. I have my bag, so let’s go!”, so then I go… I’m on the bus on the way to school. I suddenly think “Omg, I forgot to brush my teeth!… Well, it’s too late now, so whatever!” *sigh*. And by the way, Spoony, this kind of forgetfullness and “remembering at the wrong time” can suddenly manifest itself and persist frequently in my life despite me successfully and consistently spending weeks or months practicing. So anyways… I get to school. I remember that I prepared and finished something for school that’s actually due that day (could be homework, could be stuff to prepare for an event, could be whatever…). I get to where I’m supposed to be at the school and, at the last fucking minute, I suddenly think: “Hey, wait a minute… Did I BRING what I was supposed to bring?” *searches backpack* “Oh crap, I didn’t!”. So, yeah… That’s a big chunck of my everyday behavior in a nutshell right there.

    If you think about it, everyday life is pretty complicated, but at the same time, most people basically take everything for granted. You basically make everything in your life much simpler by practicing everything and making it all a bunch of habits (dressing-up at a certain time, taking showers at a certain time, having a meal at certain times, and so on). It doesn’t become a big deal where you might keep forgetting things. It’s just a “normal” everyday habit. Well, your friend probably had a persistignly hard time dealing with everyday tasks. He might’ve been a complete genius at various things, but had such a hard time with everyday tasks that he would either neglect doing a lot of those things or waste a lot of time looking around, searching everything, asking himself loads of questions (“What do I need? What am I doing today? Did I forget anything? Did I bring everything?”), making various to do lists (and perhaps later organizing them into a big to-do list) and making entire everchanging plans and schedules revolving around making sure everything that had to be done was actually done (and even then, he’d probably end-up forgetting some stuff).
    Your friend was probably trying HARD, and I mean fucking HARD, to make sure he got everything done to get to your DnD game. He had to be sure to take a shower, put on clothing (and make sure he doesn’t forget an important piece of it), bring his keys (or bus-pass or whatever), bring his DnD stuff, and do everything else to be absolutely SURE that he’s got all the basic stuff he needs for the DnD game you guys were having. He was keeping you posted on how things were going and he was giving you what he thought was a very good estimate of time for when he’ll probably show-up (and by the way, I also have this trouble myself with estimating time and timing things properly). That day that he forgot his pants, he probably didn’t notice he was even wearing pants; his brain probably just randomly “skipped”, and forgot, that he’s supposed to put on pants before leaving. He didn’t notice until much later on; he just randomly looked down and noticed: NO PANTS! :-P (I’ve never had that specific problem happen to me in my own life though.) When you went to his house to play DnD, he didn’t have to do as much preparation beforehand; therefore, he didn’t have as much stuff to try to remember. Also, he probably had problems with finding and using “the grey area” with situations, which would explain why his DM-ing always went to the extremes (and I’d probably do the same kind of thing too). He’d end-up giving “distress” instead of “eustress” to everyone in the game. ;-)

    On a final note, I don’t think the woman was in the autism spectrum at all. She just so happen to be the way she is.

    Oh well…I’ll talk to you later, Spoony :-)

  • Anony Mous

    4:00 Oreo just licked Burton! Forget about the racist bitch and the forgotten pants, THIS is the true terror!

  • OgdruJahad

    Honestly if it was me and someone made a character as offensively over-the-top and stereotypically gay as that woman did, I doubt I’d even be able to play in that game. Maybe I’m thin-skinned, I dunno. But that just really would never fly with me.

  • Laurie Dawn

    This is awesome.  I get home from work, furious about a crappy crappy day, and start telling my hubby about it. He starts to laugh and says “I have just what you need to feel better!” You see, it was a crappy day because a coworker was not only on Gary time, but had to leave for a supposed short time, and called and said they wouldn’t be coming back at all. This left me at my job alone for several hours…..which SUCKS! Anyhow, this did make me feel so much better. Thank you for being cool.

  • Cure Light

    So many Counter Monkey videos lately.
    It’s like Christmas!

  • Nick Bagnall

    Political moshpit… political moshpit…? POLITICAL MOSHPIT!

  • jdreyfuss

    Given the various themes as well as the title of the episode, I have to say one thing:

    To forget one pant, Mr. Gary, may be regarded as a misfortune. To forget both pants looks like carelessness.

  • Patrick Wilson

    I didn’t get so much of a ‘racist’ vibe from this video as I did a ‘character’ type. Considering its correlation to D&D, I thought it was more like a video about the certain types of people you can encounter while playing the game. Considering that one of your last Counter Monkey videos commented on the fact that you don’t usually play with strangers, this seemed like an appropriate example of why you think this way.

    As for her mistake in determining Dominick’s race? I’d like to say that I’m surprised, but I’m really not. Racism is often born out of ignorance.

    Looking forward to more videos Spoony, and don’t ever forget your pants.

  •élanger/100000567236259 Luc Bélanger

    Wow, so Poles are illegal Mexicans. I’ll try and remember that >_>

    I kind of wanted to hear some stories about how brutal that Gary guy was as a DM though, if you have a few good ones about that. Maybe next time?

    And I don’t think you needed to try and cover yourself like you did at the end. I don’t have time to read the 200+ comments there are right now tonight but all you did was relate someone else’s views, as controversial as they are. But I do like to act like your friend and draw people like that out because it tends to be pretty damn funny and interesting what comes out of people’s mouths. I live in Canada’s only bilingual province and work in a small mostly English-speaking town, and my boss was astounded when she said she was thinking about adopting a kid and a co-worker said to make sure she didn’t adopt “one of those damn French kids.” As a native French speaker I found that hilarious since a lot of people in my hometown think the same way. You see that everywhere since people who take views like that for granted (be it racism or political opinions or anything) never really go out of their way to do research and see if they’re wrong.

    Frankly though, it’s a bit refreshing when people are upfront about it since at least then you know where they stand. It’s always worse when they lie to your face about it and do shit behind your back. In that respect you did the right thing by confronting her about her character and pointing out that your friend was Polish instead of just politely nodding and making fun of her when she left.

    • Aaron Kerr

       I’ll second that. Tandem’s Last Ride was awesome because of how brutal it was, give us another!

  • Thrian Bering

    When you said Dominic was Polish, I about pissed myself. Bravo on another great, albeit uncomfortable, story =D

  • Daniel Powell

    I comment so, so rarely here (I think I’ve commented once before), but I’d just like to say; absolutely good on you. This is the exact code I live by. “I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” I also know a few people who are very good friends, but who I refuse to game with. I even refuse to play Battlestar Galactica or bullshit like Ninja Burger with some people because – even with “comedy” games – the story’s got to go somewhere or you’ll be sat there all night. I’m all for humour as long as it’s in character or doesn’t take up a HUGE amount of time. In-character humour is actually brilliant both for the general mood AND for getting in character, as long as you’re good at it. I think what you have there (I’ll forgot the racist/homophobic undertones for a second) is simply a good example of a really bad “comic relief” character more than anything.

  • April Von Lon

    I think “I forgot my pants” is going to be my new excuse for everything now. “April, why haven’t you done your dishes for three weeks?” “I FORGOT MY PANTS, THAT’S WHY.”

    Or maybe a more relevant use: “How’d you ever get a date with that guy?”
    “I forgot my pants, wink wink nudge nudge.”

    Okay, so that wouldn’t get me a date, but it would still be pretty hilarious. For about five seconds. Until the crying started.

    Out of nowhere: Did you record all of these recent stories in ONE NIGHT? Did you just… talk at the camera for four hours straight? How did you manage to not kill your voice? After an hour of talking I’m going for the lozenges and the tea. You must have vocal cords of STEEL, good sir.

    • JanusII

       I claim to the theory that he was kinda lazy to change his T shirt this week :-D

      • Matrim

        That or he decided that he will always wear that particular shirt for Counter Monkey. When I game I always wear either my “Rules Lawyer” shirt or my “Collect Call of Cthulhu” shirt, depending on what the campaign is.

  • Reza

     Little story from a barely-casual gamer: a couple of years back (freshman year at AU), I decided to try and get involved with gaming on campus. I fell in with a bunch of RPG’ers who were running a Vampire: the Masquerade campaign, and joined their session. I prepped my character beforehand, playing as a Brujah former Leveller/Roundhead from the English Civil War (it was a historical campaign), whom I’m pretty sure I named Nestor Gray or somesuch. Fairly straightforward. However, the guys I was playing with were not so much.

    Case in point: the others were all of the more “surreal”  clans. We had a Tremere, a True Brujah, and a Malkavian among others. The guy playing the Tremere, in particular, had had a very (if the others were to be believed) colorful RPG past: in a past campaign, his character had supposedly “eaten the nation of Germany” (quoting verbatim), and gone into the past for the sole purpose of killing Ayn Rand (cool in my book, but still kinda weird :)). The True Brujah player was borderline psychopathic.

    This propensity for weirdness manifested itself relatively quickly during gameplay. I get the feeling that they chose such out-there clans to play as, because they were mostly interested in goofing off and cracking wise the whole time, and only the newbie wanted everyone to get serious and get on with it! I had to deal with the Malkavian going through a series of surreal encounters with his antidiluvian, in a series of vignettes that would have been more fitting in an episode of the Animaniacs than a Vampire campaign (involving Malkav conjuring up an AUTOMOBILE in REVOLUTIONARY WAR-ERA BOSTON) and running the Malkavian player over). The Tremere character got us turned into human chesspieces (literally) by either a Lasombra  or a Tzimisce.

    As if I didn’t already feel unwelcome enough, they made fun of me for trying to play SERIOUSLY. Case in point: we had to get into some kind of fortress or prison being guarded by the Redcoats. I was the only character with dominate, so I offered to try and make the guard let us in. However, they informed me that, since I only had one point in Dominate, I could only issue one-word commands. So, in an attempt to improvise, I had my character approach the guard, used dominate, held out my hand and said “key.” Y’know, as in “give me the key”. For some reason, the other players found this hilarious, and would spend the rest of that day’s session making fun of me for it.

    To this day, that bad experience has prevented me from participating in a pen-and-paper RPG. Spoony was right in the Vampire Counter Monkey, when he talked about the importance of making new players feel comfortable, and he was right here when he said that playing seriously was important. Honestly, I had more fun LARPing in England than playing with resident geeks here in DC.

  • Sam Lewis

    Ah, players showing up late, a problem I know all to well. It’s probably the biggest problem facing roleplaying, even more so then accusations of use being satanists and the like. Sometimes I wish I could just chain my players to chairs…

    Anywho, I laughed at how you said 1 a week was a maximum. I currently roleplay 5 days a week, Dming 2 nights of DnD and one night of ironclaw every other week, the remaining days being a friends game of DnD if I dont DM ironclaw and two more games of Ironclaw a week with my friends. Before you think I must have all the free time in the world, I’ll let you know I’m in college, taking honors courses and more than the average number of credit hours. Oh, and I have a friend (new to roleplaying) who is having me be the technical guy for a MLP:FiM roleplaying game he wants to make. I dunno, maybe I’m just the kind of guy who needs roleplaying. Keeps me sane.

    Love your stuff Spoony. Countermonkey makes me smile everytime. 

  • Timothy Andrew Edgren

    Ohgod the partner that you hate gaming with but she’s involved with the DM.. I know that problem. Our friend Bob’s girlfriend can’t roleplay worth crap…at all…she can’t play a role..she doesn’t get into the game…she sucks the role playing life from the room. Add she was a bipolar twilight fangirl who threatened me with a bat when I made fun of edward cullen..yeah….. I also experienced the friend who was an alcoholic and brought his own personal box wine to each game and passed out halfway through… that’s about as bad as showing up late.

  • DarkStar9

    Something I want to comment on that is mentioned in the 3:00 mark, but i feel it is not understood by today’s gamers, and that is: games, of all kind are supposed to be HARD, or at least challenge. in tabletop RPG’s any death has impact because the character ends, so the overall challenge should not be incredible, but in games with some kind of auto-save challenge should be rather high but not always to the point where it is almost impossible, but you should not be able to walk through a game on normal, that is for casual or easy settings.

  • Kendotuxedo

    The only minority I care about, is Minority Report.
    Whatever happened to that?

  • KnightOfNi

    I totally know one of those flake types, sounds almost exactly like the same person. He’s big-time into RPs and running games, and I’m pretty new to these, but I tried running a game. We didn’t live too far apart, but on a weekday you’d have to expect to drive for an hour. Dude would take a shower and end up leaving TEN MINUTES BEFORE WE’RE STARTING.
    I waited an hour and a half before calling it off and dropping the game altogether. I’ve only ever been in ONE consistent game due to flakes.

  • oeruli

    I agree with your viewpoint, Spoony, and I believe that it is good to have an opinion, but it is also great to have the empathy to understand where another is coming from with their opinion, even if you disagree with it.
    Good luck keeping this forum civil.

  • Patrick Brown

    Wow….Just wow.

  • Tim Malear

    “While I do not support your opinion, I’ll defend to the death your right to say it,” and all that. Good job taking the high ground, Spoony.

    I just want to say, if you’re gonna be racist, at least recognize the race you’re discriminating against

  • Redbob86

    I have openly considered myself “delightfully racist”, meaning I don’t pretend I don’t see patterns in groups and situations, but at the same time I still give people the benefit of the doubt.  In other words, I don’t see anything inherintly wrong with being racially concious.

    But that being said there is a huge difference between that and being absolutely rude toward a guest in your house whom (I assume) hasn’t done anything wrong.  The fact that she couldn’t even tell what he really was just makes me consider her an idiot ontop of it.  Oh well, she hooked up with a man who can’t remember his pants, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

    As for the gay character she made, I wasn’t there so I don’t know exactly how she behaved.  But based on what you descirbed, I would be far more annoyed than offended.  Something like that would get old really fucking quick, particularlyl if she’s sexually assaulting other characters.

    Sorry Spoony.  I know you didn’t want to  hear this kind of crap.

  • Rvdrudger
    The last panel here springs to mind.  In fact, Gabe’s reply….is a perfect metaphor for *something*, I’m just not sure what…

  • Brooks Kimble

    i’m from Mississippi, i’ve never even heard someone come out like that, and we’re supposed to be the racist state. that is crazy that she could just say it. i wonder what she says when she’s around her family.

  • Christopher Bertram

    I just gotta ask
    Wet-back is a negative name for a Hispanic right?so, how is it an insult? is working hard to the point of sweating an insult in America?

    • The Incomparible Mevi

      The term ‘wet-back’ refers to mexicans swimming across the Rio Grande (or Cubans swimming to Florida as the case may be) illegally.  It’s a horribly racist and incredibly stupid term (I go swimming quite often), but that’s what the term refers to.

      • Christopher Bertram

        ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh that makes sense

        perhaps if they didn’t want immigrants they should take down that sign that asks for them , “give us your huddled masses” and all that on the big French statue. I’m Australian and only total bogans here have anything against immigrants, i don’t really get how a country as young as the USA has such a strong dislike of immigration

        • The Incomparible Mevi

          Well, to be honest, it’s not the immigrants that anyone (with any smarts) have a problem with. It’s the illegal part. The majority of the people speaking out against illegal immigration want people in the country, they just want people to come in legally, not illegally.

    • stanleyjosten

      I’ve never heard it before, so I think she made it up for reasons we’ll never know.

  • Ville Gunnarsson

    It’s a nightmare when you get weirdo in your role playing group since it’s really hard to just straight up kick him out.

    • sbkMulletMan

       Especially if they know where you live! 

  • SeanMcTiernan

     lol, I remember the time we fired our Paladin. I had come into the group a couple sessions into the campaign, with the GM telling me that the group needed a Rogue for trap disarmament, since the group was coming up on a Mad Wizard’s Keep scenario. So of course, I throw my thief together, making a NG Rogue who is specced for trapfinding and removal.

    So the group agrees that I’ll be operating about 10-15 ft ahead of the group to scout, which is fine, that keeps everyone but me out of the damage pad. So we enter the dungeon, when the GM is describing our first room, with a door that is might as well have had the neon sign of “THIS IS TRAPPED!!!!” above it. So, before I can get a word in edgewise, the Paladin charges past me to bash down the door, setting off the acid trap in the door, and both of us end up taking acid damage from it, but we’re not through yet. Since he activated the trap, he activated the alarm spell on the door as well, so every creature in the place now knows we’re here.

    Well, we manage through the creatures in the room, but we’re forced to retreat from the dungeon for the night. Everyone goes over with the Paladin that he needs to not do that again, including the cleric of the same god as the paladin, who was placed in charge of him by their church.

    alright, well, lesson learned, we go back in the next day to try again. We get to the next door… and the Paladin charges again. This time I begin to actively bawl him out as trying to get us killed, and he puts it off with a “The Gods will be with us as long as we hold faith!”

    Okay, so attempt number three, but while he’s in the bathroom for a moment, I pass a ninja note to the GM, “When he charges past me again, I will already have my sap out, and I will sneak attack him as he goes by, since he won’t be expecting it, and his AC will be lower. As he goes down, I will catch him to quiet his fall.”

    Well, guess what? We come to the third door, and off rushes the Paladin… and then I get my sneak attack. a 20 and a 19 later, the Paladin is sprawled out unconscious, and I casually step over him to examine the door, and quietly check it for traps, to the applause and laughter of the party as a whole, minus our guy the Paladin.

    He of course found it less funny, and kept getting ready to say something, but the GM kept shushing him since his character was out. So he wakes, and it’s pretty obvious what happened. He draws his sword preparing to attack, when I go, “I immediately drop my weapons, put my wrists forward in contrition, and surrender formally.”

    The look was priceless, cause he knows he can’t strike me now, when I go, “Now, let’s try this a different way: I will not allow you to harm innocent people, period.”

    “I’m not hurting inno-”

    “Yes, you fucking are! Every time you pull this crap, we get hurt. I’ve been burned by acid, stabbed by orcs, and our wizard got taken down to -7 thanks to those arrow slits you activated. ”

    So Pally starts doing other points of idiocy, until finally I discuss it with the group, and unanimous decision, the Paladin is fired. I”ll never forget that one, “Y-you can’t fire me! I’m a member of the party!”

    “Um yes we can, and no you aren’t. You were a member of the party, but now you are not.”

    Further pissing him right off, the GM backed us up as we were under no requirement to keep him with us. He went through ten BS characters, with us just firing each one along the line until he finally started acting right. The last BS character was a bard he purposely made horrible at being a bard (dump stated CHA, refused to use bardic knowledge or songs, etc.), then got caught stealing from us. We stripped his character naked, and left him in the town square.

    • Noah Quilantan

      Oh God, I know people just like this…

  • Jon Defiler

    Reminds me of that one time I forgot to put my pants on walking out of the changing room at my high school… luckily a friend said something before I got out of the room.

  • Victor

    The only time I had a bad time playing with someone who was a lousy roleplayer was when I played with a group of friends and one of my good friends was the “culprit” so to say. I just remember he was responsible for getting my character killed and also getting into debates with the DM over things that didn’t make sense.

    For example he created a character that was a centaur and we just happened to be on an adventure that required us to break into this mansion. To get in we had to scale a wall on the outside of the mansion and of course that wouldn’t be much of a problem for us with the right planing and the right roles. Of course since my friend was a centaur his character couldn’t climb the wall since the bottom half of his body is that of a horse. Even though the group was trying to figure out how to get him into the mansion grounds he decided to argue with the DM why he couldn’t climb the wall like the rest of us. He just didn’t understand that the centaur can’t climb a brick wall because he has hooves!! After thirty minutes of arguing the DM decides to cut him some slack and says “Okay, you can role to see if you climb the wall but it will be at a -5 penalty” and my friend still kept complaining.

    Most of our adventuring took place in a large city environment similar to Sigil from Planescape. So while we were all trying to pick practical classes that would match the campaign setting he goes off and decides he wants to be a druid. That may not sound so bad I guess if you can play the character right, but he would even pick the wrong spells. He would pick spells like entangle when we are basically in an urban environment. He’s a great guy just not a good roleplayer.

  • Lexia Velez

    wow… I do have a question, after she said that and you decided to quit did he ask you why? what happen when you talked to them again? What did you and your friend say afterwards? really so many questions Just be nice to get an idea on what happen afterwards. I know you do not wish ill but that must of been a few convos between and and you friend after that. What happen to the group after that? Did it keep going? >.> so many questions LOL sorry

    BTW, Did you ever find out why on earth he left without his pants? Or was that more or less he forgot his wallet in his pants and wanted to wear those and that is why he turned around? He was wearing wrong pants?

  • sbkMulletMan

    I wasn’t even bothered by the views of the woman.  I was still dumbfounded by the lack of the man’s pants and how it took him so long to realize and recover from it. 

    I had a lot of double-takes in this video where I had to back it up just to hear it again simply to make sure I wasn’t going crazy and I actually heard what I heard!

    “forgot his PANTS?!”

    “even MORE offensive than the Beastmaster 2 guy??”

    “Wetb-WHOA, wait, what?!” (I am partly Mexican and I was too busy having fun to be offended, so I wasn’t bothered)

    And of course throughout the whole thing, I kept thinking the question “how DO you forget your own pants?”  This was my Mystery of the Toilet Pizza kind of thinking.  But I forced myself to stop wondering when I came to the idea that “maybe he left his pants at somebody *else’s* house!”, and I was just creeping myself out at that point and just listened to the rest of the story, heh. 

    Perhaps that’s the real reason why “Gary” can’t get a job.  Just keeps forgetting his pants.  I can honestly imagine Spoony ringing the guy’s doorbell, chanting “PLEASE be wearing pants, please have pants on, oh god, please, please, PLEASE do not forget your pants this time!” as he waits for him to open the door. 

    This was certainly the most “interesting” of the Counter Monkeys, and that is a good thing! 

  • Rupert3434

    Jeez…this is why I only roleplay with people I’m friends with outside of the game. You really need to know the limits of your friends to enjoy the encounter. I’m actually gay, and while I won’t get into discussing the stereotype or addressing some of the things you said (you did sort of dig yourself into a hole ther, but it’s cool, I know you’re not a hater :P) I do have a really funny story about how an overly sexual character I played in a game almost got killed by a member of the party.

    Okay, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Keep in mind that my group of friends is pretty (how should I put this?) “open minded” to begin with, and the gaming group was made up of me, my gay ex-boyfriend (and current best friend), a straight girl, a straight guy, a guy who is a self-described man whore and will basically sex anything with legs, and our DM, who was married to a woman, but still made totally joking passes at both me and my best friend. 

    Anyways, it was a high powered DnD 3.5 campaign in which we all had characters with bloodlines from the Unearthed Arcana supplement. The thing is, each of the bloodlines was hand made by the DM to reflect one of 12 greek gods/goddesses. The campaign was set in ancient Greece, and our characters were the sons (or daughters) of gods. In addition to this, each bloodline also had a favoured class, which made it even more interesting since they were both tied to a member of the Greek pantheon. Before we made our characters, we had to roll for a bloodline, and when I joined, I just happened to roll for Eros (the male god of love) and my class was a sorcerer…you can see where this is going already, can’t you?

    As if the homemade bloodlines and favoured classes weren’t enough to make this game crazy colourful, the DM had another level that he added to it, which made it even more fun. Each of our characters had a special trait that would act as both a bonus and a negative. For example, my character, being the son of the love god, had a compulsion to meddle in the love lives of others, but gained a +4 to sense motive and diplomacy checks because of his cherubic ways or something.

    Here’s a run down of the rest of the party: Druid daughter of Artemis, Rogue Daughter of Hermes, Paladin son of Zeus, and a Cleric son of Aesculapius. I ended up getting drafted (quite willingly) in to fill a spot left by another player who was removed for power-gaming issues between him and the DM, and my character did make it through to the end of what was a quirky, violent, dramatic and on the whole very enjoyable campaign. But things went a little crazy the second session.

    Alright, so, since my character was the son of the love god, I roleplayed him as a giant man-whore. I didn’t even think of having him grab people’s junk (because that IS pretty damned offensive), but he was “Chaotic Good” and basically made passes at every member of the party, would talk endlessly about the joys of love, and preferred charming or suggesting opponents over blasting them to bits whenever possible. He was also massively egotistical, a HUGE player. The DM had me roll to determine whether or not my character knew he was the son of a a god (had been contacted by divine agents) or not, and the result was no, he did not…which as far as my roleplaying was concerned meant that he just thought he was naturally more powerful than regular mortals! XD The character himself sat fine with the party. They tolerated his antics and sometimes even played along, and he wasn’t antagonistic or threatening to party unity. In fact, later on he was the group’s official buffer, responsible for displacements, bull strengths, and polymorphing the Cleric into a hill giant so he could squash things. 

    Enter the party Druid (played ironically enough by my ex). Not only was she the daughter of Artemis, but apparently something that went along with that was her being strictly celibate. Not only this, but the trait given to her by the DM was that whenever she felt that her honor as a chaste woman was threatened, she would immediately fly into a barbarian rage and attack the source of her insult. 

    Not knowing this, my character made continuous passes at her, and she proceeded to refute them coldly, which my character took as simply “playing hard to get”. Anyway, I don’t remember what it was that my character said to her, but it may have been an offer to “try something new in bed”. The next thing he knew, there was a 500 pound enraged grizzly bear on top of him, tearing out his jugular.

    Now, the party Cleric was a gruff old bastard, but his trait compelled him to make sure that so long as he could help it, nobody died around him (this included enemies. It was a common sight after a battle to see the cleric running around the battlefield crying, trying to stabilize the fallen enemies, weeping “I’m sorry!”). So, even though our characters didn’t get off to a great start, he threw himself between me and the enraged druid, and held her off until she calmed down, then healed my wounds.

    My sorcerer continued to hit on people in the party, and tried to seduce many NPCs, women and men alike. But he never hit on the druid again. 

  • uninspired_username

    Yep, this is why you game with your close friends.

    Anyway, cool story, but I was REALLY hoping that Dominic would have turned out to actually be hispanic, and that he would have walked back into the room right as she was really throwing out some offensive insults. The look on her face would have been priceless.

  • Lunam_Kardas

    Oh my god Nash was right… THE PANTS… THE PANTS ARE REBELLING!!


      I was just thinking, this could easily be a WTFIWWY story. “Man Is Late To Game Session After Forgetting Pants.”

  • John

    100% of Americans are descendants of immigrants or immigrants themselves. Fuck that bitch, I would’ve left right then.

    • phoenix7786

      Bingo. One of my favorite cartoon cutouts was a political one with a white dude in a suit giving a speech about how all the immigrants need to leave the US in the hands of its rightful owners, and a Native American tells him “I’ll help you pack”.

    • bob bob

      100% of Americans ARE descendants of immigrants. You were colonised by the British, among others.

  • Sam

    One thing that I hate that some DMs do is having millions of overpowered NPCs in a game setting where the main heroes are supposed to save the world. You can have a 20th level group and the NPCs still outclass your heroes which has me question how our we’re the heroes and not them. It doesn’t feel very epic. I also don’t like pointlessly balanced encounters like fighting standard thieves that are 20th level rogues. Did the rogues come from krypton or something?

    • doresh

      True. You don’t need level 20 kings in any setting. That’s the realm of true heroes ^^

      And it’s really strange if the world around you seems to level up. How are the heroes supposed to feel like they improved if they don’t get the change to slaughter a few dozen orcs (who don’t surrender and don’t have any wifes and kids, of course XD ) at once?!
      The problem with those balanced encounters is also that it makes these encounters mandatory, since the group won’t get enough EXP if they just wander around and avoid these encounters.

    • Vismutti

      I haven’t played too many RPGs but I just felt like saying that this thing annoys me soooo much in so many shounen anime… xD I mean when the main characters never get to kick any serious ass despite getting stronger and stronger all the time… no, they always run into EVEN STRONGER opponents and ALWAYS have to overcome the odds. It gets old after a while. Not to mention hard to believe.

  • Helana Grondahl-Traynor

    It’s upsetting when a gamer has another gamer cross into their comfort zone and they feel uncomfortable with their comments or actions in game or out. There are but two options, to leave the game or have the other gamer leave it. Being female , I have encountered a few situations of this nature but I’ll tell you of the one that was the most amusing in it’s solution.
        One time I was involved in a game of Shadowrun, a stuffer shack mod type at a big gaming convention called Archon. Most players were charged a fee by Archon to join in the games. The GM’s got nothing of this fee it was just for table space so to speak. The GM running this mod and I had a not so secret connection, the matching wedding rings upon our fingers, that and many knew we were a married couple as at that time we were avid gamers and had played many types of games with other people there and my husband was a respected GM. One player joined in the game whom was obviously drunk or something and he proceeded to offend almost everyone playing the mod. I took the role no one else wanted, the healer as it didn’t matter to me what role I played and I didn’t have to pay to play since hubby was the GM. So we robbed the stuffer shack as planned and this player being drunk did some really stupid things that caused his character to be grievously wounded… let me add he had hit on me and even after being told my husband was the gm, and I was sooooo not interested, yet he was  not deterred in his lascivious behavior to the point of being bluntly and grossly explicit in the sexual things he wished to do with me vs my character.(Let me add here the reasons this was terminally stupid….. 1. I was the GM’s wife. 2. The GM was 6’4″ tall and around 350 pounds. 3. He was the GM and thus in control of the game.)  To make a long story short, I was the healer of the group and I refused to heal this jerk after he was wounded terminally by his own actions and refusing to game with half a brain in the situation the mod presented.  I did med pack and heal everyone else that had been wounded and to be honest trying to heal his character would have put mine in a situation that would surely result in my character’s death. Thus, his character “died”, much to the relief and actual applause of the other characters playing. He got upset and ran to the people in charge of accepting payment to play the games. They came over to investigate his claim and after it was explained what all he had done and how many of us had been assaulted by his verbal abuse, he was banned from Archon for the weekend at the very least. The rest of us enjoyed the next few hours without the slimey attentions of  his constant sexual remarks and it is hopeful he learned a lesson. When gaming don’t upset the only character that can heal your butt or the GM running the game, terminal stupidity can be just that…. terminal.

    • ftidus12

       Yeah, few things poach my eggs like those situations. RPGs are supposed to be fun diversions from the slings and arrows of daily living, not “4chan: The LARP” . I’m sorry both you and your husband suffered such indignation.

  • Julian Moretti

    1) Outside of gaming i knew a guy like “Gary” He wouldn’t know if a bus hit him in the face, he always delayed band practice and he even kissed the girl that liked me while drunk. I finally had enough and in a long story short, told him to fuck off. Bah, i can’t leave it at that…. After she played head games with me i told her and him that they deserve each other. Too bad she was hot…. :(

    2) Does Noah check these comments????

  • Vismutti

    That guy sounds like my flatmate. xD Except, thankfully, she’s never forgotten her pants.

  • phoenix7786

    Wow she is complete scum and I find it delectably ironic she portrays such an extreme (and insulting) stereotype yet has absolutely no shame in being such a racist slab of shit.

  • Javier Marcelo Pacheco

    Lately I have a hard time spotting where my pants are. But I always look for them. Maybe that guy had the same problem and just gave up one day.

  • Xargas

    I wonder if she might have been a reason he kept being late for the game sessions?~

  • big_isaac

    you were waaaaaaaaaay too nice when it comes to the gay character walking up to you and groping you. 
    what I mean is, imagine if you walked up to the Ultimate Warrior and grabbed his balls out of the blue. guess what would happen next? Warrior would slam his fist through your face and pile-drive you into the toilet. 
    gay or not, homophobic or not, that’s just not something you do

  • big_isaac

    you were waaaaaaaaaay too nice when it comes to the gay character walking up to you and groping you. 
    what I mean is, imagine if you walked up to the Ultimate Warrior and grabbed his balls out of the blue. guess what would happen next? Warrior would slam his fist through your face and pile-drive you into the toilet. 
    gay or not, homophobic or not, that’s just not something you do

  • mrstillman

    Spoony, you’re my favorite online entertainer who isn’t a porn star. Keep doing these Counter Monkey talks!

  • Bryan Gardner

    Isn’t it against the law to Drive while Pantless?  Isn’t that considered indecent exposure?

    • big_isaac

      I’m pretty sure it’s not against the law. the inside of your car is considered your private space like the inside of your house. this means you can theoretically drive around naked in your car as long as you don’t leave your car without cloths. 

      this may or may not be different in the US, but I know that’s how it is in Europe

  • Tim Thurston

    I wonder do you have any weird stories about guys roleplaying as women, id love to get into tabletop gaming but its really only me and 2 friends that want to try it out (we play a lot of RPGs/MMO) and 3 isn’t really enough to get a game going. I ask the Women question because in most RPG games i play im usually a woman if im a magic user of some sort (maybe my subconscious is against dudes in robes? lol) I’m not the only one i know who does the same thing, id imagine it would get much weirder if it was a dude playing a woman in a tabletop game and doing weird stuff like groping but not to that extreme (id hope not).

  • Maysin

    I would like to see Spoony discuss the advantages/disadvantages of metagaming and share a story(ies) related to it. 

    (Metagaming example: Skeletons are resistant to cold and slashing weapons, so pull out a blunt weapon and engage in melee or don’t use cold spells as opposed to your character seeing the walking dead and fleeing in fright)

  • George Rosenbaum

    Nash needs to see this, if only to add to his theories of Naked Crazy.

  • gewoonlilly

    I forgot my pants once, then I woke up.

  • Aiddon

    dag, I’ve met some characters before but that takes the cake. I knew some shitheads in high school like that, but I’m glad I haven’t seen any people I RP like that.

  • pambas

    I think that Spoony should have discussed the effect of in-Game trust on people, maybe the girl trusted Spoony has a person because of it ?

    On racial stereotypes , when I go to Uni canteen to have launch many times the people serving the food get uncomfortable when I ask pork because they think I am a muslim and sometimes even random coleagues greet me in Arabic because they think I am so. lol

    Which is dumb because I am kind of white looking because my grandfather is from Portugal.

  • Wayne Davis

    By any chance was this complete tools disability a mental one?

  • Matthew Cheng

    Great Job Spoony for stand against trolling and arguments/etc… Many other Forum Admins would revel in the attention that such behaviour would garner, but good on you for having the Integrity to put a stop to that (or at least try, and recognize that there is a finite amount of control you have over what happens, other than to ban users outright).

    I am still immensely enjoying your Countermonkey videos, and looking forward to many other stories and Video Game and Movie reviews. REALLY looking forward to your continuation of the Ultima Retrospective.

    Keep up the incredible work!

  • Mike Clayton-Brown

    He….forgot his pants…….how the FUCK do you forget your pants, hell you have to put shoes on and fasten them don’t you so surely if you don’t notice by that point your missing your pants how do you otherwise…SERIOUSLY he forgot his pants.

  • Svetoslav Savov

    ok spoony i will not call anyone names, i am not resist and i realty don’t care. if some one make comment abaut me, my race, my sexual preferences and political likes that are rude i look at him and say “tell me more” wen he is finish i laght at his stupidity. cuz i don’t hate ppl for the way they are born, i hate them for wat they do. ok hate is to strong, i disagre with them to a point of a strong argument :> i like seeng my oponents agree with me, that is the bigest victory
    it is funny how everyone say FREADOM OF SPEECH but wen it is negative comment they say keep it for yourself or we will kick your ass :>

  • erik skold

    Spoony, just wanted to say I love Counter Monkey! It’s such a breath of fresh air.
    I have always wanted to play D&D, but never really had the chance. With living in a small town in Sweden, and most the RPG books being in English, the kids that didn’t call me a geek or a nerd for even bringing it up, would have a really hard time even understanding the most basic text. My point being, I really like the insight to the game I’m getting through these videos.
    Keep up the good work, my friend!

  • nrrork

    I’m just waiting for someone else who gamed with you to come on here and say “Gary? I thought PHIL did that?” Or whatever the guy’s real name turned out to be.

  • dxBIGBOSSxb

    Is it just coincidence I happened to NOT be wearing pants when I watched this? Or maybe I now have the ability to see in the future and predict when to, or to not do something to fit the moment.

    Either way, I’m still pantsless and it’s quite definitively “The bee’s knees”.


  • Herman Cillo

    Bringing any opinion on race, religion or politics to a gaming table is almost always a bad thing. It’s just as bad a morality argument, as it’s always got the potential to split a group.

    As for forgetting pants? That’s impressive! I’ve forgotten pants, but I’ve ALWAYS remembered before I get to the bottom of the stairs in my house.

  • Aron Justin Mandal Fortes

    I’m not sure, but I think you said the guys real name, Adam I think you said. You know, you might want to consider starting bleeping out the names at this point.

    Other than that, I just love what you do. I even started playing Pathfinder with some friends of mine thanks to your tails from the “Black houle” that is RPGs, hoping to come across something like what you’ve told so far.

    This is my first time comenting by the way. So sorry if I’m sounding a bit odd.

  • Adam Michael Szlamp

    33:48 My response Also wet back. That’s a racist slang term? I’m from England so I’ve never heard that before but that’s a really stupid name.

    • adamsr

      Yeah, I had to look it up on Urban Dictionary too.  Apparently it comes from the idea that they swam the Rio Grande to get to the US.

      A guy who turns up to things two hours late and pantless can’t get a job?  Yeah, it’s got to be because of illegal immigration.  Can’t think of any other explanation.

  • Shirokurou

    Spoony, you’re a great story-teller. Keep the Counter Monkey going.

    • Rupert3434

      Here Here! :D

  • HEYitsnotbraindead


  • Aileen Mason

    I have a friend like Gary.  We don’t game together, but she is always terminally late – up to 3 to 5 hours late.  Plus there’s the hygiene problems… She smells like a homeless person, despite having free acess to soap and water, if not laundry facilities.  She’s never come to my house having forgotten pants, but sweaters/coats – yes.  Or come over just for me to mend a shirt or skirt that’s torn, and she comes wearing the article of clothing with a foot long gaping hole in it.  So she’s stuck standing half naked in my bathroom while I attempt to mend a piece of dirty cloth.   Yikes, some people….  Sorry to rant when it’s only barely related.

    And that woman…. God, what a piece of work.  Homophobic and bigoted?  That’s starting out with two strikes against you already!


    Of course, if you grabbed the Ultimate Warrior’s balls, he would think you’re trying to steal them.


    Of course, the Ultimate Warrior would think you were trying to steal his balls if you grabbed them.

  • Liezl Bohnen

    I have never heard of… what was it? Wetbacks? I have never heard of that before in my life. We don’t have Mexicans in my country… like at all. But even if we did I still don’t understand how the term could refer to them :| oh well.

    You really make me want to get involved with some DnD Spoony! But then I hear stories like this and I’m nervous of trying to find these people XD

    Also, your shyness is cute :D

    • Jayden Reynolds

      The “wetback” epithet, IIRC, refers to migrant workers from Mexico having sweaty, wet backs from working at large factory farms. It’s either that, or because undocumented workers come over in a hot, sticky, sweaty situation (such as hiding in a van or in large luggage), and their backs are sweaty and wet as a result.

      Either way, it’s a totally fucked up thing to say to anyone, especially Latinos. It’s a lot like the n word or various other racial slurs that, unfortunately, seem to hail mostly from America.

      • Vismutti

        Don’t worry, other countries have their fair share of racial slurs… in America they might just be more wide-ranged since there are a lot more different nationalities around while elsewhere it tends to be directed at only a few specific groups.

      • MorphineSJ

        I was told that it was because of the inmigrants swimming across the river. But that would only apply to those crossing the eastern border.

  • Christopher Lash

    Poor Dom, nobody deserves that kinda treatment, but if it’s the kid I’m thinking of. He sure as hell didn’t deserve a statement like that (he usually had bad luck at the game tables back in school).

    It would have been far funnier if Gary would have shown up without his pants (hopefully in some long shorts or something safe).

  • Atmos_Duality

    Unfortunately, I know very well the sort of person who “Gary” is. Rather, there are two people I know who, if they performed the Fusion Dance, would become “Gary”.

    My gaming group has biblical issues in gathering together and getting rolling, and it’s in no small part due to a particular friend, who hosts game at his place.

    See, if he gets bored waiting for people to arrive, he’ll just go out and do whatever the fuck he feels like. He will leave his house for HOURS while we arrive. And this hasn’t happened like two or three or five times. But probably several dozen times by now.

    (We can get into his house because he lives with extended family; and his grandma knows us pretty darn well. I’m practically extended family myself at this point..)

    Finally, I think he’s started to realize that we’re kind of fed up with that.

    The other person (I can’t really say “friend” at this point, more like “person I tolerate” to be blunt)  exhibited “Gary’s” other compulsions. Like blatantly obvious, yet bizarre, lies and bluffs.

    As for the ‘racism’ issue…believe it or not, I’ve encountered quite a few people who think along the same lines, and think very openly; very frankly. From my experience, they’re almost always politically-polarized and raised on that sort of nonsensical thinking.

    There really isn’t any solution apart from the one you took: just walking away from it entirely. I know some people worry about what others think, but do not feel guilty about passing judgment on provably wrong concepts and hateful thinking.

    There is no guilt in acknowledging truth and condemning falsehoods.

  • Sean

    I remember a game that I was DMing. It was a game that was being played via E-mail. Playing via email has its pluses and minuses. You can play with anyone, anywhere, at any time, but the progress of the game can be slower for obvious reasons.

    Anyways, I had a player who pulled something that really surprised me. Part of it was my fault as the game’s DM, I admit. He was being a bit of an ass, and he was doing everything he could to annoy everyone playing the game, myself included. He was succeeding, I might add. Every now and then I would privately send him a message telling him to tone it down. He would for a little bit, then he’d be back at it again. But then he really crossed the line.

    I’d like to say it came out of nowhere, but he was being an ass to such a degree that the rest of us weren’t enjoying ourselves. It was annoying as hell. I think I tolerated it because he was playing a douchebag character. He was trying to be funny, but he was the only one laughing.

    Anyways, the incident. I had separated the characters into a smaller groups as part of the story. The idea was that a few characters weren’t getting along so this is my attempt to get them to cooperate and thus get the characters to work better together. Kind of cliche I know, but I thought it would be interesting. The douchebag is with a female character. He suddenly decides to pull down his own character’s pants and he started to, and apologize for even mentioning this, but his char started to touch himself while standing in front of this female character. The player playing the char was a friend of mine and was a little bit younger, I think she was 15 at the time, I was 17 or 18 at the time. I’m a bit older now.

    At that point I brought an immediate stop to the game. All I said to everyone was that I was putting the game on hold from anywhere to a few hours to as long as a week. I send a message to my friend and said I’m sorry about that, but I’m demanding he apologize for his actions and never do it again or else. She told me I had nothing to apologize for, but I felt it was necessary. For him, I was done playing games or beating around the bush. I told him, you need to send two messages. One to the whole group, one specifically to her. In it you need to agree never to do anything like that again, and apologize for your ignorant action. I didn’t care if it was supposed to be in character or not. That was uncalled for. Foot placed firmly down.

    A week came and went, and I sent a message to the group, minus the douchebag telling them that he was no longer in the game. I warned him and I kept with my guns. And I had been tolerant of lot of his crap too. I had just had enough. Kind of like Spoony had had enough with the player who can’t remember his own pants apparently. He tried to apologize when he realized that I was being serious, but at that point I had had enough and it was too late. He tried to play it off as if he didn’t realize that that was too far. Some might say I was being harsh, but I didn’t buy for a second.

    Oddly enough, or maybe not so oddly enough, the characters in the group got along great after that and we all really enjoyed the rest of that campaign. We ended playing via email for almost three years after it had started too. It was a lot of fun.

    So, sorry for rambling. Just thought I would share my own little story.

  • fiddlewheel

    Spoon, you have no idea how many games that have not gotten off the ground with some people in my playgroup.
    If they don’t show up at once, you can guarantee that they would not show up before around like 00:30 to 02:00 hours too late. and whats really annoying with this, is that they don’t think of it as a problem at all, and they don’t understand why we get annoyed by this behavior.
    we would not hang out with them if it weren’t for the fact that they are good people and fun players.

  • M_Appel

    he forgot his pants…? i was so flabbergasted i couldnt even laugh about that :D

  • GunsmithKitten

    WOW, this story sounds familiar. We only now after FOUR MONTHS managed to get our entire group together to actually be ready to go. Worse yet, our lackadasical, he kept doing this when HE was the DM, and so many Saturdays we were left high and dry to try and do either a pick up RPG or a miniatures game. Mad as we were, we still welcome this guy with open arms when he’s actually willing to show up, but we’re also so fed up that we’re just not telling him when we’re gaming or what. He’s got to ask before we say anything. Also, our group is quite tight and we do a lot of things together besides gaming. We’ve had movie nights, we have Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and New Years gatherings, and our games are always preceded by us having a communal dinner (where we eat out if we’re gaming at one location, and we fix something for the group if at my place) where we…you know, socialize. We try to make it worth coming.  

    Two of our group (besides me) are gay as well, and occasionally, and one of them toy with a flaming stereotype occasionally, but to be fair, even in character they often did this as a sort of ‘cover’ that threw our enemies off guard and weren’t legitimate parts of their character. Same for the previous mentioned player, though his ‘stereotypes’ were quite outrageous, and in any other group, he’d very likely get his ass beat for his portrayal of a character who himself puts on a front as a stereotypical 70’s “pimp daddy”. He thankfully never plays this character outside of our circle. We knjow it’s a schtick, we know that even in character both examples play up these ridiculous fronts both for comedy and for forcing the enemy to underestimate them. 

    However, as for bigotry of THAT level, no, there is zero tolerance. Our group “bouncer”, a man we call that as he is tasked with telling people when they’re not welcome and is big enough to show them the door more aggressively if need be, had a relative in the Ku Klux Klan, so it hits us personally. She would have gotten one sentence out before our “bouncer” (called as he is given his skill at telling people to get the hell out and being big and built enough to not have to say it twice…he likes it) shows them the door, politely or not. 

  • Faust

    Is anyone else intentionally NOT watching these, so they can save up, in case he goes on hiatus again…and they don’t have Spoony-withdrawal?
    I’ll start watching again next month, so I have a nice little bank of vids saved up.

    Until then gentleman, onwards and upwards!

    Good to see Spoony back in the saddle again.

  • elliott

    I’m kind of curious as to what the other players did after this and how events unfolded afterwards. Did you back out without a word or did you talk to people in the group first?

  • Yuki Fischer

    I remember something similar, this DM who kept being extra mean to me for some reason. Turned out he was just a massive racist. Didn’t even learn that until years later.

    • dxBIGBOSSxb

       People like that really “Rustle my Jimmies”.

    • sbkMulletMan

       “D&D’iscrimination”, that’s a new one to me! 

      He didn’t happen to have a pointed white robe he conveniently called his “Grand Wizard Robe”, did he? 

    • Nathan Jackson

       Hey, really trying to not sound creepy, but after reading your comment I clicked your profile to get a better look at your pic – the different experiences of racism amongst various ethnic groups interests me being a very multi-racial psychologist who grew up in GA – and wanted to try to see from whence you and/or your parents originated.

      Long story longer, it linked to your facebook, and I just wanted to tell you that you have amazingly pretty eyes. This isn’t any kind of advance, I promise. My brother is a photographer who has done a lot of work in modeling headshots and I’ve just started noticing when people have unique/outstanding features.

      Hoping you enjoy the compliment instead of getting weirded out.

      • Yuki Fischer

        I was totally weirded out before I noticed a totally legit question in there somewhere.

        I’m adopted, my parents live in Sweden and originate from Scotland.

        • Nathan Jackson

           Very cool, and glad you didn’t get the FBI to put me on some list.

          I can trace half my ancestry to black Caribbean sugar plantation slaves who originated from somewhere near what is now Nigeria. The other half is composed of a crazy mix of most of Western Europe (British/Welsh, Scottish, Swedish for sure and possibly some Hungarian and French thrown in) who after coming over to America had at least one good tryst with the Cherokee tribe of Native Americans. So all I know is that I’m tall, tan well and have curly hair, and am totally ethnically confused.

          Apparently my forefathers would go after anything that stood still long enough…

  • Richard Plenzo

    Wow.  Alright speaking AS a gay guy, I would of outright had my character turn around and tell the flamer that if he touched me again he’d be pulling back a stump.  It’s not bigotry to turn around and tell someone not to molest you at every moment.  The odd thing is though, I notice women can’t RP gay men well at all for the most part while men, straight or gay, do actually RP women decently in general.

    Though I have to admit and some of my characters have played to the stereotype a bit. But you have to be smart about it, not just outright grotesque.  My longest running character, Velios, was extremely catty and would often quip and mock people’s clothing, there’s nothing wrong with having a character like that as long as they have enough depth BEYOND that to be viewed as a human being and even if you play a flirty gay guy that WOULD hit on a straight guy…real life rules apply. You don’t GROPE people.

    Anyway I wouldn’t be able to tolerate racists in any gaming group.  I was leading a guild in Star Wars Galaxies with some of my friends, we ended up finding out that a huge group of our military branch were pretty racist and extremely misogynistic and needless to say homophobic, we pretty much shut them down and purged quite a number from the guild even if it crippled our town for a long time.  Put a woman in charge of their branch just to add insult to injury afterwards.

    • Skolex

       Maybe you’re not playing with the right women.

    • Rosemary Callahan-Gray

      Probably depends on the women. I’ve known some who can play a believable gay guy, oddly enough most of them are gay themselves. Seems to depend on whether they’re playing a character with a certain identity (sexual, race, whatever) because it’s kind of a fetish for them or if the character just happens to be part of that group. I have also played with men who cannot play as a believable woman and it seems to be the same type of thing.

  • Chris C-353

     My gaming group runs on Thursdays and Fridays. We recently kick a member out of our group, not because he was late but instead because he caused group friction. We’ve had him in our group for a few months and everyone liked him, until one week he started being mean towards me. Eventually it got to the point were I actually dreaded going to my friends house because I would get so mad at him. We just recently started a new campaign and he was doing things (mainly trying to steal our positions and break into my Inn room. Which I made quite clear to him would result in his death if my character found out.) that made the rest party mad (and myself and the owner of the house irate). We temporarily suspended him from the game and then invited him back the next session but he not only was just as bad, he got a married couple mad enough at each other that they weren’t talking. (He did this by instigating a fight between them.) The GM, who had been on his side for the most part, banned him from the campaign. To describe this person I would have to call him aggressively neutral, depending upon your point of view. 

  • Chris C-353

     My gaming group runs on Thursdays and Fridays. We recently kick a member out of our group, not because he was late but instead because he caused group friction. We’ve had him in our group for a few months and everyone liked him, until one week he started being mean towards me. Eventually it got to the point were I actually dreaded going to my friends house because I would get so mad at him. We just recently started a new campaign and he was doing things (mainly trying to steal our positions and break into my Inn room. Which I made quite clear to him would result in his death if my character found out.) that made the rest party mad (and myself and the owner of the house irate). We temporarily suspended him from the game and then invited him back the next session but he not only was just as bad, he got a married couple mad enough at each other that they weren’t talking. (He did this by instigating a fight between them.) The GM, who had been on his side for the most part, banned him from the campaign. To describe this person I would have to call him aggressively neutral, depending upon your point of view. 

  • HuneyMunster

    Another great Counter Monkey episode.  Guess Spoony is glad that this
    series has been such a success.  Its alot simpler to do than a movie or
    game review as alot less editing.  Hardest parts are trying to remember
    the stories correctly and not unintentionally giving out someones real
    name, which has happened at least once so far.

  • Darke Mayer Goulart

    Oh, man, this Gary guy was DMing the wrong game. From what you said, Spoony, he would be an exceptional Paranoia GM. This kind of brutality is not only to be expected, but it is encouraged, and a good GM makes the PCs go against all sorts of impossible tasks and threats, the more at the same time, the better.

    By the way, Doctor Insano would probably fit very well in the R&D service group, making incredible stupid SCIENCE! doomsday devices to fry those Commie Mutants traitors.

    • GunsmithKitten

      As a long time Paranoia GM myself, it’s not even supposed to be that way…or at least, not for those reasons. A good Paranoia GM doesn’t set out to kill the players, he just let’s the players do what comes naturally and never fudges the consequences. It’s summed up in the text as “Don’t think of yourself as some malignant all powerful deity to smite the players. Think of yourself more like the Greek gods, setting stages and pulling strings to make it happen. Remember, the players are not your enemies; they’re your entertainment!” Players in Paranoia will be dying in sufficient amounts without you making a special effort to kill them. 

  •óżanek/100003579432659 Filip Różanek

    A friend of mine once told me that with his group’s longer games the number of racist jokes increase proportionaly to the time of game. And by longer I mean “start at twilight, end at dawn” so you have to forgive them, they’re usually half-asleep and just everything sounds funny to them. One time, they started to play at 5th p.m. and ended somewhere around 6 in the morning. The game ended when my friend, being half-asleep and not really in control of what he’s doing anymore, said “nigger is black”. Everybody else just bursted down laughing and realized it’s probably time to go home.

  • Kelsey Kerrigan

    Yeah! Fuck pants!

    • Arsenal Of Megadeath

      “Fuckpants”? what’re you really tying to say? (just goofing on you)

  • booku

    Its a figure of speech lol my dad says all time, he tells me to keep your wallet on you so will get used to it and if you forgot your wallet its like leaving the house with no pants on.

    But ya show up on time not that hard, 15 mins earlier it possible.

  • MarcoV


  • MarcoV

    Actually, funny you should mention this.  In my sophomore year of high school, I stubbled upon the DnD club and mess the members.  

  • Dominique Griego

    Not only am I mexican, but my names Dominique. :(

    • Arsenal Of Megadeath

      so you’re a mexican female? and…?

    • Shantal Figueroa

      So how did you meet Spoony? :D

  • Rosemary Callahan-Gray

    While not quite on that level, I had a D&D group that had some of the same dynamics (people showing up late, if at all, etc.), which is why I eventually stopped going. And since the group was mostly women I’m glad to hear it’s not just groups of women that can run into that.

  • Shantal Figueroa

    Oh man that’s just an awful story. I’ve never done table-top gaming, but I’ve done a fair bit of roleplaying over forums and chat boards. I’ve always felt really uncomfortable when people hit on my characters in inappropriate ways-I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that would be if you are actually FACING the person doing that. Not charming at all. 

    Also, I think it’s pretty funny when people slip up and show a “truer” side of themselves in regard to their personal opinions about politics or race. Being Hispanic, I’m sure that there are a lot of people who are very careful about what they say around me. I understand that racist people aren’t evil, they’re just that, racist. 

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Also, as for not being able to tell what race someone is- it’s actually kind of hard sometimes. My Spanish teacher asked me if I was Arabic even though I spoke to him fluently in Spanish. (though I guess I could have been Spanish-Egyptian or something)

      • Christopher Alden

        If Highlander has taught me anything, it’s that Spanish Egyptians speak English with a thick Scottish accent.  So you couldn’t be that. :)

  • Alek

    So you’ve started a Counter Monkey website now? Cool but where would you prefer us view those videos? In your position I would be afraid of loss of advertising revenue. 

    • Alek Ondusko

      Hey, I thought I was the only Alek with a K, cool.

  • Kevin Maurer

    I love the counter monkey series, but it would be that much better as a podcast I would love to listen to this on walks and in transit, plus the visual aspect is fairly low, I’m not sure how the monetizing would work though, so I guess that could be a barrier.  

    • Alek Ondusko

      I’m in total agreement, I think he should try to get an endorsement from one of the gaming companies Paizo or Wizards of the Coast would be awesomely appropriate considering how much he already plugs their wares.

      Also, crazy people everywhere, had one woman trying to buy something at Fry’s to find a chip that was broadcasting her thoughts. My dad stands there for like twenty minutes trying to get her to buy a oscilloscope with a spectrum analyzer and some techie’s time. I was like, dude, why are you, I don’t even. Was surreal. Ended up wasting time so we ended up being rushed for our other stuff, I think he had a momentary lapse of reason.

    • MFlorian

       If you go to the Blip.TV RSS feed for this show, you can download these as MP3s.

  • Patryk Halaczkiewicz

    The Importance of Wearing Pants

    When I realized I was actually Lawful Good as opposed to Neutral
    (I’ve watched too much Rocky and Bullwinkle)

  • thesciencejesus

    Another good episode.  Reminds me a bit of a game I played in.  It was an “evil” campaign and we were a rather homogeneous group of white guys, all of an adult age.  Because it was an “evil” campaign, the DM gave bonus experience to the player who had the best offensive/racist/sexist/inappropriate joke of the evening.  It sort of helped us get into “evil” mode and all of us understood they were just jokes and that it would stop the moment it went too far.  But real racism…that can get to be a problem.

  • Arsenal Of Megadeath

    Spoony, you think that’s bad? try playing Marvel RPG. Pack of cheaters. ok, one: his name was chad and he couldn’t play honest if he tried. the upside was, Jean Grey was dead, and stayed dead. and when it comes to the women? yeah….most are frickin clueless.

    • Arsenal Of Megadeath

      and on a side note: you really want to call bullshit , Spoony, its all about the outsourcing of jobs.

  • Jon Martin

    I 100% agree with that sentiment where you are there to play a game, not to hear people interrupt with irrelevant jokes or movie quotes every chance they can get. I have not had one instance of any table top game in which that has not occurred consistently.

  • BrendanConcannon

    Cop pulls Gary over:
    “Driver’s license and registration please…”
    “Sorry officer, I left my wallet in my pants at home.”
    “Oh boy! I’ve heard that one before – holy hell!  Sweet Jesus!  Where the hell’s your pants?” 
    “Well, it was kinda hot outside and…”
    “Are you stoned out of your mind?  Where the hell is your pants???”
    “Well see, I was late for a D&D game, but I forgot my pants and went back home to get them and…”
    “Whoa whoa whoa….you mean to tell me you were late for a D&D game, exceeded the speed limit, all while forgetting your pants?”
    “Yes sir.”
    “So you remembered to pack your Merlin the Magician, your magic wand, your dice bag and Book of Vile Darkness, but you forgot your pants…”
    “Yes sir…”
    “How does this D&D game work, again?”

    • Haakon Løtveit

      Well, if Spoony allowed the book of vile darkness, then he kind of deserved everything he got. :p

      (I kid, I kid.)

  • Squeejee

    Love the story!  And I gotta say, the more I game, the more I find I agree with you about keeping the distractions and jokes to a minimum.  I’m playing two games right now and they are night and day on handling this, and I couldn’t even begin to tell you about the plot of the distraction-heavy game.  Unless you consider “Cleric with Improved Unarmed Strike proves that Monks are totally useless even in Pathfinder” to be a good story.

    And on the other thing, just gonna say I think you made the right choice.  I’ve never been in that situation myself, but bowing out seems like the classy way to handle it.

  • magus12000bc

    You know, with the kind of shit that your state has gained a reputation for, I’m surprised over your being surprised over the shit talking the wife was doing.  I live in West Virginia and I hear that shit at least once every few months.  You, on the other hand, live on a border state.  As I’d figure it, it would be quite an accomplishment if you managed to avoid somebody spouting off like that entirely.  I’m not saying that your whole state is full of racist rednecks, but you were bound to find one at some point.

  • PixelJustice20XX

    I know I barely know you guys…  but I feel comfortable telling you this…  I’M A NAZI!!!!!!!!

    lol  that one had me going

  • Shad Croly

    The first 11 minutes of this video is pretty much my exact thoughts on one campaign I’m currently in…

  • BigTexATM

    To the first half of the vid: I’ve experience much of the same thing online with MMORPGs, playing in guilds. Maple Story guilds are the worst. There are constant communications issues, especially among the larger guilds, in terms of meeting up in-game or taking guild quests. There’s always going to be one in a small group or a few in larger groups that are just unreliable and screw up the game.  To the second part – you really do meet all kinds. Anybody who’s ever been in a school band or choir knows this for a fact. People are a spectrum of personality, as I put it, and in gaming you want a fairly wide spectrum to add color to the game and to bring fresh ideas to the table. However, there are limits to just how much you can tolerate, and I definitely don’t blame you for walking away from the group. You showed more restraint than I ever could have in that situation. Yes indeed! Bravo…that was…well done.

  • Matt DiPasquale

    Til this story I thought most of them took place around ’97-02. I don’t remember that stuff being an issue back then, but I also live in the New York suburbs.
       This dude at my college plays a flaming character, but respected us too much to do what that lady did. Never even ‘joked’ with it, guess he just wanted it to be more like him to get more into the game or something. Too each his own. Right?

  • Kostantine Paradias

    We had a racist girl in our table, once. The story is that I have a friend I’ve known since elementary school, who’s half black (his dad is african, his mom Greek, they got married in tha 70’s which made it a big fucking deal back then.). Anyway, my point is that the girl we were playing with kind of frowns when she sees him at the table, doesn’t say a word of it, but when the game’s over, we’re outside his house and she just pops out:

    “Goddamn nigger DM”

    I laugh cause that’s what we called him when he was busting our balls and we all laughed at it (including him), but she meant it right then so I kind of stammer asking her what’s wrong and she tells me

    “One goddamn gaming group in the whole town and the DM had to be a goddamn nigger? He’s disgusting”

    So anyway, I just call her bf the next day, tell him what happened, they argue, break up and we tell our DM what happened on the next session. He just frowns and says:

    “Never fucked a brother, has she?”

    We just laugh and forget about her afterward.

  • Jezpuhr Pixelboy

    Yay, another one of those Counter Monkey! Where you just rambling on and on for an hour..

  •ázs-Berczi/1342335891 Balázs Berczi

    This was very awkward, Noah. Please try to avoid stories like this in the future! I’m sure you have better ones.

    • Atmos_Duality

       Take the good with the bad. It’s his story.

  • Clynton Calderone

    i absolutely love these rambles

  • メガン

    A few years ago I had a job teaching English (ESL) to adults.  One of my students was a very sweet motherly lady in her sixties; she always studied very hard and fussed over me and her classmates, used to bake us cakes, that kind of thing. 

    This was during the time there was the big earthquake in China, so at the start of class one day we were chatting about the news and the earthquake came up.  Out of the blue this sweet motherly lady says:

    “I think we shouldn’t send any help to them.”

    I must’ve asked what she meant, because sometimes being ESL she got her meanings a little garbled.  But instead she answered promptly and perfectly clearly, “I hate the Chinese because they are dirty and rude.”

    It was equal parts horrifying and hilarious.  You just don’t expect blatant, shameless racism to come out of ordinary people’s mouths, but sometimes it does. 

    I couldn’t walk away since it was my job (and I was working for a company so it wasn’t up to me to ask students to leave) but damn, I was careful to never, ever let the Chinese come up in that class again.

  • Craig Pierrot

    Um…is it just me, or does it sound more like this kid went back “because he forgot his pants,” not because he forgot to *WEAR* pants, but because he forgot his wallet in his *OTHER* pants? Hence, “My wallet’s in them!”

    Does that make sense to ANYONE else? lol!

  • Craig Pierrot

    I’d listened to my grandfather listening to Rush Limbaugh and other right-wing AM talk radio during car trips and watched him watch Fox News *EVERY* afternoon when I was a kid since I was 8, so this reminds me of the day I realized just who and what the fuck Rush Limbaugh and Fox News WERE, exactly. Seeing OutFoxed my first time? Now *THAT* was an awkward day! lol

  • Vaughan MacDonald

    You’re not alone on hating the gay stereotype, Spoony. I think the media really needs to open there eyes to what gay people actually look like. I mean, I’m probably the straightest gay guy you’ll ever see. Because I’m pretty fucking sure I’ve never dressed like a deva or screamed “fabulous” out loud. Or grabbed another man’s balls….. usually.

  • Craig Pierrot

    Ok, I *REALLY* don’t mean to offend anyone (nor do I mean to start any political anything), but there might actually be a(n) (societal) explanation as to why she holds such a crazy, radical viewpoint and also why she is SO OPEN with such an extreme and offensive view. (I found this fascinating, so maybe you might, too. I did.)

    About 3 weeks ago (Feb. 25th, right before the Arizona Republican Primary), the show “Up WIth Chris Hayes” on MSNBC invited Megan McCain and some other (Arizonan) people on to have a round table discussion on just why the fuck and WHERE the fuck all these crazy, extreme, (and dare I say, “conservative”) views and opinions came from and just what in the HELL caused them. I think you might find this fascinating, it provides a plausible, societal, a-political explanation as to why this woman hold such an extreme, crazy, radical opinion, and why she holds it SO OPENLY.

    You might find this fascinating and that it may explain a LOT. You can watch the video here:

    • Arthur Slightom

      I’m not talking politics here, I’m just talking vocabulary terms. Just so ya know before I say this. I am in no way trying to offend or start a flame war.
      “Conservative” is a very broad term that applies to the viewpoints of anyone who calls themselves Republicans. Most “conservatives” are merely average citizens who vote for people like Bush or Reagan instead of Obama or Clinton. The person Spoony is describing is more accurately described by the term “extreme right-wing.” This term refers to someone who is so friggin’ conservative that they no longer fit in the definition of a normal “conservative” and need a new term. “Extreme right-wing” people have viewpoints that are blatantly racist, anti-Semitic, and other things. Also, their viewpoints tend to be illogical.Anyway, I just thought I would give you a better term to use. Using a general term like “conservative” to describe said crazy racists tends to offend the sane, rational people who consider themselves to be conservatives. Hence the reason the “right-wing” term exists. Using this term will help to avoid flame wars.
      Like I said, I’m not trying to offend or call you stupid or do anything of the sort. I just thought I would contribute my two cents and help spread the word on more specific terms.

      Also, here’s a helpful link (albeit from wikipedia) 
      It explains decently well the concept of “wing politics.” (John Green of VlogBrothers does a better job of explaining this concept, but I could not find his video on the subject)

  • Adam

    Mybe the guy forgot his extra pair of pants.  Like he was going to a job interview or a party afterwards, and wanted nice pants to bring.

  • Tai_MT

    The problem with her viewpoint is that it’s wrong.  Not because it’s racist…  But strictly because it’s not a racial problem.  If you’re a citizen of USA… You’re an American.  Plain and simple regardless of ethnic background.  You are instantly and immediately one of us.  Unless you decide to be what your ethnic background is instead and make it an issue.  Most immigrants choose NOT to do this.  They’re here for the same reasons everyone else is.  A shot at a better life.  If you’re here illegally… You’re an ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.  They aren’t just people from Mexico either.  Lots of people from around the globe try to enter and stay in our country illegally.  Fact of life.  She doesn’t even know how to argue her own viewpoint or if she was going to be racist, what that viewpoint actually entails.

    I simply care that she had no clue what she was talking about when she painted all illegal immigrants as “mexican”, and even had hate for the legal ones for no reason.

  • matthew_lepage

    Remember when Spoony did hilarious let’s plays and movie reviews?  What happened to him?  Or is this site devolving into a Nerd version of Cocktales?

    • Jezpuhr Pixelboy

      he decided it was better to tell stories, tell us about latest cinema movies for hours and promote others work instead.

      • jetman123

        Yes, that’s why he released two video reviews last month.

    • John Titor

      At least he’s making videos still and not leaving the site dead. I like Counter Monkey though. 

    • Sulivan McBride

      I more remember when the site wasn’t full of entitled little shits who feel compelled to complain about the lack of entirely free content that they get for exactly no cost.

    • Craig Pierrot

      If I’m not mistaken, isn’t Spoony over in Illinois with Brad Jones and his “crew” filming the Cinema Snob Movie right now, and hasn’t he been there for the better part of this past month? That’s why I just kind of assumed that he sat in front of a camera one day at the end of February (before he left) and told these stories to it for several hours, edited them into several different videos, and is using them…basically as “filler content” until he gets back home to Phoenix, where he can resume working on _his_ reviews (Ultima 9, FFXIII, etc.)?

      Like, can anyone correct me if I’m _wrong_? And, if I did really get this right, why the Hell are you complaining??? Spoony in The Snob Movie will be AWESOME! lol

    • jetman123

      Please leave and do the rest of us a favor. If you dislike the site founder’s methods, it shouldn’t be hard for you anyway.

  • Cas Wegkamp

    Freedom of speech means you lose the right to be offended (more or less). That being said, Spoony didn’t like so he choose not to hang with them.which is the only proper way to handle. GJ dude.

    • Shantal Figueroa

      No it doesn’t. 

      Freedom of speech means that the gov’t can’t take legal action against you for your opinions or attempt to censor you. That means you can voice your opinions, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for what you say. That means people have the right to say mean things, yes, but it also means that people have the right to tell them to “fuck off”. 

  • ajax5405

    WOW dude.  Just…WOW! That is frikkin hallarious.  I mean, just WOW!!

  • Jonny Nordström

    Well, if this lazy latecomer wasn’t just being a douche towards the group, his behaviour does have strokes of AS/normal-functioning autism. But really, I couldn’t tell w/o observing the guy. =) Crazy story (in a good way) anyways, Spoony. Keep it up!

  • Schrodi Takenoya

    When you were talking about no-pants-man’s terminal lateness, for a moment, I thought you were describing a friend of mine.  Perpetually 2 hours late, with the worst possible excuses every time; the only difference is that I’m pretty sure he left the house fully clothed.

    And the crazy racist woman…that kind of thing hasn’t happened to me during a game session, but yeah, it’s happened.  Sometimes–and I have no idea WHY they think it’s okay, but they do it anyway–racists who just happen to share one’s skin coloration will blurt out the stupidest crap in front of you because they can’t keep it to themselves anymore; and they figure that since you’re of the same ethnic background, that of course you MUST share their crazy-ass opinions and you will instantly agree with them.  This is…not so.  I have had to calmly extricate myself from many an awkward conversation.  All part of the fun of living in a rural area, I suppose.

    • LotusPrince

       See: some retail customers.

  • Leena Hölttä

    I think the lesson of the video could be: Think about what you say.
    Everyone has their opinions and view points, and they are absolutely entitled to those opinions, but sometimes you have to watch what you say, or how you say something.

  • Hans Hartholt

    Are you sure he didn’t say: Pens?

    • midnight_tea

      How could he stuff his wallet to a pen O_o?

  • midnight_tea

    Confusing a Pole for someone from different ethnicity? Only Scandinavians are “whiter” than us (more blondes and all), yet still I can’t tell that that’s something new – not when my cousins have been mistook for Arabs on O’Hare airport only due to slightly darker complexion. That was… weird. 
    Technically however both Arab people and a great deal of people considered to be Hispanic are white. Can’t those American white supremacists see that by attacking “their own” people they’re pretty much shooting into their own foot? Unless we’re talking about someone who believes that there are ‘better whites’ among whites? Uh, Aryan and stuff >_>…?

    Anyway, I bet she was simply itching to find some way to reveal her racist viewpoint, if only to find someone who might share it. It’s fortunate that those views and such people appear to be getting extinct.

    Still, I would take it personally if I sat there and hear her offend people like that, even if for the fact that Poles often migrate to different countries and get to hear similar stuff that other immigrants do, no matter of ethnic background. Yep – if people are not being attacked by good old racists, they can still count on xenophobes. And if not these two – then there’s always politics and religion. It only shows that when people want to feel better than others, they WILL find a way to view other people in derogatory fashion *sigh*

    Meh, while the stuff above is somewhat depressing, let me just say that I greatly enjoy your videos and can’t wait for more :)

  • Ted Parsons

    I have to say, it’s quite a relief to know I’m not the only person who prefers that the story keep moving. In the one time I got to be in a D&D group, I ended up only playing about three or four sessions, because they were only about an hour and a half-ish long, and a fairly large portion of that was either spent joking around, or trying to get other players’ attention because it was their turn and they weren’t paying attention. It got on my nerves, but before now, I wasn’t sure if I was an asshole for wanting them to stick to the game. Turns out I was just an asshole for ragequitting over it, heh.

  • Katrin

    Maybe he was wearing pj pants, and meant that he needed to go back for his normal pants because his wallet was in them?

    When you say ‘Gary’ was character killer and such, I wonder if he accounted for the types of characters that made up the group? Like was he just harsh at dishing out physical damage, or magical damage as well? My first group’s DM designed all his D&D games for ‘tank’ warrior types, so that if you didn’t play a character slanted highly for physical battle you would die in the first session. But he always encouraged and a more diverse party, which makes me wonder if he didn’t know how to balance the different character types.

    Anyway, I find with those types of games where you are stressed and constantly struggling to survive, besides it usually not being fun for people, its becomes really hard to actually rp you character correctly, because if you act out any flaws or weaknesses, you die.

    Being a control freak isn’t a bad thing. It’s usefulness or annoying-ness is determined on the situation. Without a someone pushing the game along, it can get stagnant and fall apart. It’s all about keeping everyone motivated to play and being organized enough that group can flow through the story well. But yah, control freaks typically make better DMs. You also have a lot of charisma which is great thing in a game. I personally suck with charisma, and therefore my attempts at control often become frustrating to players, and I’m probably boring. So that’s something.

    Just some thoughts.

  • Moggy

    Did Gary wear trackydacks? Coz all the guys I have known who wear those go ‘free’ so y’know if he did maybe he only realised he’d forgotten them when he turned on the aircon and felt a cold blast where none should be felt. Which brings me to a serious question – it’s pretty hard to drive in bare feet, does this mean he remembered SHOES but … then he’d have to have put shoes ON before… no my brain can’t even comprehend any more…

  • Ben Scanlon

    Wow…Okay, Spoony, I have to say that group definitely beats out anyone I’ve played with on the crazy scale. Freakin’ hilarious story, man.

  • jaykurant

    My jaw dropped and then I started laughing when you repeated what the gf/wife said. That’s so awful but I would’ve done what your friend luring her out did lmao. You don’t just pass up a chance for conversation with someone like this.

  • Whistle Tall

    I apologize, but I must form a committee based on a serious topic brought up in this video.
    It will be a grand committee, one whose goal will be to figure out how many different ways something a scenario as ludicrous as forgetting to wear pants in the aforementioned circumstance could happen.

    And our leader will be a blueberry muffin.
    His presidential hat will made of butter.

  • josh sorrels

    i had a game where it came out i was jewish, and apparently, a person in my group found my relegious beliefs offensive, and proceeded to go ona tyrade about how evil i was, happened to be the dm, and decided i should be crushed by a cave in. i actualy rolled nat 20 and escaped, but  needless to say, i quit the game.

    • ftidus12

       Same thing happened to me once, so I know how you feel.

  • Jonathan Waterstraat

    He wanted to run a Deadlands game all the time?

    As he should!  Deadlands is fucking awesome!!!

  • RodrigoIbarra

    Racism and ignorance tend to go hand to hand. Here is a small story about it.
    A cousin of mine went on student exchange abroad to the U.S. He is a Mexican living in Mexico. So am I. The thing was that he went to a Jr. High to study in the U.S. for a year or so. When he returned, he told some anecdotes to the family. One of the most shocking to him was the very first day. He introduced himself to the school class and kids immediatly started asking questions. Some of which were:

    Do you have electricity?
    Do you know what videogames are?
    Do you have TV?
    Does your father ride a “burro”?
    Where you live are there streets?
    Do you have tubed water? (Meaning having sewers and running water)
    We were somewhere between shocked and laughing at all these questions(Yes, we have all of that and practically only people from farms in SMALL RURAL towns use burros). At some point a cousin of mine said:
    “You know what? You sould’ve said something like -nah, we don’t have tubed water. We get it wiresslessly or by bluetooth.-”
    We cracked up laughing.

    • Shantal Figueroa

      My cousin is from Panama. When she came to visit someone asked her where she was from, and when she answered they were like “What part of Mexico is that?” 

      I had a classmate from Colombia and someone asked her what part of Africa Colombia was in. 

  • Mario Padilla

    dude, these talks are truly interesting, could you give an option to save it as an mp3?  like a podcast… would be cool … ;)

  • Joni

    Oh Spoony, some day I’ll have to introduce you to my crazy racist, homophobic, sexiest father….I’ve been in this same situation except my dad and my brother were blasting homosexuals.  (My dad then proceeded to blast inter-racial marriages.)  Needless to say, its much, much more difficult to bow out gracefully when the crazy folks are your family.

    And sadly, in the area I grew up in, these kind of views on Hispanics and/or illegal immigrants is extremely common.  (Same goes for negative views on homosexuality for that matter.)  I’m glad that where you live/in your circles its viewed as ‘radical’ but unfortunately it isn’t in all areas of the U.S.

    Crazy people man.  Crazy people.

    I wish so many of them weren’t in my family tree.

  • Petr Matafonov

    i’m that kind of guy

  • Senna4ever

    I don’t understand why Spoony does not want us talking about this topic or offering a view/opinion. This is the same guy that speaks out on the censoring of the internet right?
    I mean freedom of speech an all that.

    So at the risk of being banned…

    What is so wrong in this free world we live in if you forget to wear pants?

    • jetman123

      “Free speech” does not refer to being able to say anything you wish, wherever you wish. You are on his site, which he defines the purpose of. The mere fact that he doesn’t want his site playing host to what would probably be a rather long, disjointed and radicalized discussion that would accomplish nothing save hurt feelings is not in any way shameful, nor is it a contradiction of his previous views on censorship.

      • LotusPrince

         Quite right.  Hate speech is in fact not covered under free speech.  Furthermore, Spoony doesn’t want his forums cluttered with hateful bullshit.

        • Edward Giacin

          And hate speech is whatever the Politician/Tyrant/Ruler in power decides is hate speech at the time.

      • Senna4ever

        So did you lose your sense of humor in an accident?

  • Simpson240

    Wait…. you mean not every battle is supposed to be like that little Moria incident??
    I have to have a talk with my DM….

  • Simpson240

    Wait…. you mean not every battle is supposed to be like that little Moria insident?
    I have to have a little talk with my DM…..

  • Floris Overvelde

    I once had a friend of mine go on a tangent on Polish people, and he was my friend, but I’d lived in England where I knew LOADS OF POLISH PEOPLE. And the way he described them and I knew them, yeah I saw some things but he went OVERBOARD and I felt really, really uncomfortable up until the point where I told him to shut it or I was going to walk. 

    Just the open “walk” was enough for him to realize I was serious because I’m the jovial fellow, I joke around about everything (as you mentioned your friend who did the Anti-semite jokes) but he was just… wow.

    So yeah.

    This all happened.

  • Rachenar

     Maybe she thought the whole point of D&D was to generate comic relief? Granted, piss-poor, immature, horribly out-of-place comic relief, but my point is, maybe she just “didn’t get it”…

  • Hyrax2004

    “Queer as a THREE dollar bill.”  Two dollar bills are straight, apparently. 

  • Leslie Victoria Renfro

    This actually reminds me of what one of my friends told me about the boss of their father.  They were being racist and holding back her father’s money because they thought he was black.  The worst part of this situation is that he isn’t.  My friend’s father is Hispanic.

  • Michael Morris

    I’ve had some dealings with some roleplayers who had some… strange ideas of how to conduct themselves. One person wanted to play a pothead druid who’s animal shape would basically be that of a philosoraptor. Given that he also was fully on board for causing a panic in his home town as a cover for the group to escape from approaching soldiers, I don’t think he quite got the point of roleplaying… suffice to say, I didn’t continue with that group. Really, the best way to deal with people who are that wildly contrary to your personal opinions, the best thing you can do is to just not associate with them. As you said, they have their choices, you have yours, and you have the freedom to not hang out with people like that. Also, I remember one dungeon master who worked on the principle that everyone was inherently evil, and would readily send lvl 20 assassins after the party as DM intervention.

  • Donald Frank

         I agree with Senna and believe that a person should, if they so desire, go without pants. I am currently exercising (hope I spelled that right) my right to not wear pants by wearing a nice pair of shorts. 

         Anyway, I just wanted to confirm that, like Spoony and most other gamers, in my career as a gamer I also have run across some eccentric people in my time. One that is the more memorable of characters that I have had the pleasure of gaming with, who shall remain nameless, was a man who like to play barbarians.

         This is back when third edition Dungeons and Dragons just hit the shelves at your local nerd shack. I was looking to get a group together and a friend of mine came with he was going to run a scenario with just me for a while. The idea was like a pick up game of basketball where one or two guys would start shooting some hoop and before you know it you got a full five on five game going. I will say this, that tactic works for role-playing as well as it does for basketball, almost every time.

         We met this guy and we knew right away that he was one of “Those” people. We knew at first glance we were in for a treat, so we had to get him in at our table, because we could not let anybody else get what we thought at the time was Heaven sent entertainment. Man, were we right.

         You could not have written a better character than this guy. He had the “Conspiracy Theory Nut Loner” look perfect even down to the aluminum foil hat and “Crazy Eyes”. Alright, maybe the aluminum foil hat was actually a dirty beat up trucker hat but you get the picture. 

        The next couple of hours my friend and I were getting a little disappointed because so far nothing but normal activity from this guy. As a matter of fact he turned out to be a great player. He knew his stuff when it came to the rules, new when to crack wise and when not to, just generally a great player. 

         Little did we know that he was a ticking time bomb and our patience would pay off. The party of heroes just got into our first encounter and we were outnumbered and out “gunned” by I think three to one. I tap my friend as he is describing the scene to show him what I see because we might not have been as prepared as we thought we were.

         As my friend continued to describe the scene, we noticed that his breathing was getting louder and deeper after each sentence. Then we notice that each breath was accompanied by a low growl that got louder with each breath. We both just decided that the, well, he is playing a barbarian so we just assumed that is how he role-played that fact he was about to rage. Little did we now that we were right but he would take it a step further. 

         After initiatives were rolled my friend ask us each on our turn what we did. Well, when this dude’s turn came up, he did something that not only caused us to almost fall out of our chairs but brought the entire store to a dead stop. On his turn he started to roar, that is the best way to describe it, as loud as he could and jumped up on his chair while letting out this very loud, primal roar and yelled “I RAGE !” but that was not all he did. I guess to put the cherry on top to show us he was not kidding about raging he decided to yell “I RAGE !” one more time but this time he added the ripping of his shirt, Hulk Hogan style.

         He played with us for a couple of sessions but he must have moved or something because we never saw him again. I don’t know if that act was for shock value or what but he never did it again in our game. We did play a couple more session and they did have encounters in those sessions. 

         Like I said, just one of those unique individuals you meet while doing the wacky, nerdy things that we do. 

  • Guest

    Yo Im new to this site but I have been watching several of the Counter Monkey vlogs and think they are awsome XD. This is however more of a DnD question, I am 18 and am thinking about getting started into DnD and games similar to it, however, once my Mom has heard about it she immediatly began to suspect me of being a satanic devil worshipper and this game would turn me into one. I want to ask has anyone ever dealt with this before and how did they deal with it ?

    • Michael Smart

      Check out Spoony’s Mazes & Monsters movie review for Spoony’s spiel on that. But really, the only real way to deal with it is to sit your mom down and actually show her what it’s like, as well as the people that you play with. If she’s sensible and not a moron, then it will turn out fine. You do have to acknowledge that there ARE people that do insane stuff in these games, but they’re very rare and that’s why you are choosey about who you play with or associate with. You’re a big boy/girl now, you can watch out for yourself.

      Also: Spoony did a vlog on getting started with roleplaying. Click on the Video List tab up above and search for it there.

      • Gman93

        Thanks for the info it nice to know you can get help from some fellow gamers thanks dude XD and thank you too Justin and Shantal 

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Yeah just explain to her what you are doing. I mean, if all parents have to worry about is that their teenagers might be playing a roleplaying game, they should be happy parents. 

      • Justin Pettry

        This is very true. I play a ton of RPGs and I grew up in a pretty bad neighborhood so my mom was more than happy to support my gaming habit than risk me learning less than ideal examples on the streets.

    • ftidus12

       My advice?

      -Tell her that Roleplaying games can actually be beneficial to one’s mental health (in fact, counselors use “Little Fears” and other games to help victims of abuse).

      -Inform her that one of the principle authors of D&D 4th edition was James Wyatt, a devout Methodist (in fact, many creators and players of DnD worldwide are people of faith, both lay and clergy).

    • Devin Parker

      Chiming in a little late here, but having gone through the “Satanic Panic” thing when it came around the first time back in the ’80s, I can sympathize. I was fortunate in that my parents have always been rational people (and my father, being a Freemason, was accustomed to getting flak from people in church who were working from urban myth and historical hoaxes), so my mother merely asked my brother and I a few questions about our D&D game and they were satisfied that it was all just so much hooey. However, even now, I still occasionally run into people in church who have only heard the Jack Chick version of what roleplaying is, and I have to explain to them that it is, in fact, just a game, and no more inherently Satanic than improvisational acting or novel-writing.

      If your mother is a Christian or is coming from that angle, I would recommend an article written by a fellow Christian gamer named M.J. Young, in which he explains how his faith isn’t in opposition to his gaming hobby:

      Likewise, if you’re looking for more information to back up the fact that roleplaying games are, in fact, a more healthy and beneficial hobby than many teen pastimes, I’d recommend Mike Stackpole’s essay “The Pulling Report”, which deals with the claims of the “RPGs are Satanic” crowd point-by-point:

      I hope that helps!

  • Gman93

    Yo Im new to this site but I have been watching several of the Counter Monkey vlogs and think they are awsome XD. This is however more of a DnD question, I am 18 and am thinking about getting started into DnD and games similar to it, however, once my Mom has heard about it she immediatly began to suspect me of being a satanic devil worshipper and this game would turn me into one. I want to ask has anyone ever dealt with this before and how did they deal with it ?

  • Dalibor Tintor

    When we are about importance of wearing pants there was one incident where a game came to a halt doe to a new player.

    We were starting a new adventure at a friends house. It’s a standard setup for us at a time, three players and GM. He told us that his girlfriend will be joining us but she is asleep at the time. So we pulled out token characters out and really quickly noted them down on paper while GM was introducing us to the new surroundings when bedroom door opens and GM’s girlfriend walks out. Totally naked. And she has one of the nicest bodies i ever saw, real life or video. God damn stunning! We were between 16 and 18 with GM being 18 so you can imagine how we looked at her. And how we pulled our chairs under the table.

    Anyway she looks at us, and we are on the edge of drooling, says something like “You told me I’m gonna play with you too” goes behind the bar, makes herself the tee, and goes back to room. She didn’t hurry up, or even look like she acknowledged us. We were just background noise as far as i know. Maybe she even reveled in effect she made, but god damn, she deserved to gloat with that cultivated body!

    Now, as you can imagine, we start bombarding the GM with questions. After all he’s our friend and we didn’t know he picked up chick that was better then our wet dreams. And one of the best lines were “She doesn’t have anything you didn’t see before” I was stunned by that sentence to say the least. And that wasn’t the end. She comes out again, this time in red lingerie and sits at the table. She never dressed for the entire 4 hour session. And we didn’t get far since that was her first adventure and she was bad, even for the first timer. And we were busy looking at her instead of listening to GM for first hour or two.

    Anyway, she was in for a few more sessions, but never again dressed so freely. Later they broke up and she never showed up again which was for the best since she never really got around to enjoying roleplaying and that always leaves a mark on the group. But that first session, especially the way we got to know her… god damn!

  • spade75

    A good method in getting along in cramped spaces is respecting others space. 

  • spade75

    Nerds get heavy, so its extra important to respect space. somethings are hard to move.

  • Francis Coulombe

    hahaha, It sounds to me like what happened there, her initial, muttered epithet was her “testing the waters”. Like, she was throwing it out there to see your reactions before going on her spiel…

  • Penfold Berry

    im your friends side here, if somone i didnt know just said something so absurdly racist… i would keep them talking just to find out how bad they would get.

    it might just be me but *shrugs* i would get as much information as possible becuase it would be hilarious

  • tyler

    I totally agree with you here and I definitely commend you for handling such a situation very diplomatically. For those of us that are socially awkward I must say KUDOS!

  • Ryan Peiffer

    I honestly never heard the term ‘wetback’ before the video…. and I’m 20

    • gerald chubbuck


      • Noah Ryan

         I’ve heard it several times….unfortunately :( and my own parents have been saying “they’re taking our jobs/social security etc etc.” kind of stuff for years and years. i barely talk to my dad but about my mom if you’re not white, not born in America and/or have a slight accent or get any kind of state or federal assistance she probably hates you. i have no idea why and if there’s anything to be grateful about how me and my brother turned out it’s that we’re not the slightest bit racist. they say it’s their generation but that makes no sense since i know that probably most people in the baby boomer generation aren’t bigoted in any way…or at least not against races. no guarantee about not being homophobic or transphobic. but I’m ashamed to admit every single thing Spoony said about that woman couldn’t shock me in the slightest. it’s like telling me it’s raining.

  • Aaron Shurmon

    well that was a…. riveting tale

  • Cory Williams

    I’ve ran into the behavior she was exhibiting with the thief before. She may have been trying for comic relief, but most of the time when I’ve ran into it, it’s actually the person trying to act out a fantasy that’s best kept private. It’s one of the reason’s I stopped playing table top RPG’s when I was in high school. Most of the chicks where I lived would do that, and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with girls playing RPG’s. I love playing RPG’s with girls. I’m just saying the one’s I played with in high school were immature.

  • Sir_D

    I just want to know how many times he forgot his pants and DIDN’T tell you, roflol.  It was just the one time, really?  Great stories Spoony.  Again, I could see these stories compiled into episodic portions of a greater arch for a hilarious tv/webshow/movie.  

  • Kennan William Gilleland

    I don’t have any stories that are anything like that, but I do remember playing in a Heroes Unlimited campaign where my brother played Captain Fabulous. A man who flew around in a pink and purple leotard, and was the most kick ass character in the whole campaign.

  • gerald chubbuck

    Never had that happen. Most people I’ve gamed with end up being super hippies. Just demographics I guess. 

    oh I laghed so hard when you said “I forgot my pants” I had to pause the video to stop coughing.

  • Steven Caulfield

    To be honest, you handled the situation well, although I’d probably have challenged her to a debate on the matter because I’m an argumentative prick XD

    Loving the Counter Monkey series. Hope they keep on coming.

  • Edward Giacin

    The hell is wrong with you Spoony? You bring up two (three?)
    highly politically charged topics over two videos and then tell us not to
    discuss it. Come on guy you’re bring this on yourself.

  • Jonathan Chappell

    Spoony was amazed this woman said these things in front of people she didn’t know well. I think it sorta ties in with the point he made about evil in the previous video. In real life no one thinks they’re evil. I’m sure racists don’t think of themselves as racist. They think they’re sensibly pointing out the horrible problems those ethnic people cause. They probably also think many people agree with them…which may or may not be true.

    Rascists live in a world where most people agree them them (at least secretly) and a few whiny PC people make life difficult. The rest of us live in a world where most people are relatively prejudice free and a few lunatic racists hover on the fringes of society. I wonder which group is the delusional one.

    Interestingly there are some grey areas with racism. For example is it racist to dislike something about the culture prevalent in a particular ethic group? What if Mexfricanish men are 50x as likely to beat their wife as often as the rest of the population. Is it racist to assume that the Mexfricanish man you just met is probably a douchebag? Things get weird and uncomfortable when there are evidence based complaints.

  • Nagneto Lives

    That guy was totally a stoner. There’s no other feasible explanation for that level of dumb. Sound like this fella hooked on something. I’m thinking mushrooms and a shit ton of ganja, and this assclown couldn’t handle either.

  • Adam

    This whole story (mainly when you ask about what point you feel comfortable sharing your racist views with others) reminds me of a situation I have.  When I was 18 (about five years ago), I had this girl essentially stalk me for about a month in High School.  (I went to a specialized program for the first half of the day outside of school for video and film production, so I would always spend the first 45 minutes of the school day waiting for the bus outside, then I’d get back for the last hour or so)  She would always skip homeroom and occasionally first period to stand around talking to me at the bus stop.  She implied that she was my same age and she was always fun and bubbly, so I gave in and made out with her one day in the parking lot.  (Yeah, bad move on my part)  I later found out that she was 14, and had…  *ahem* a history of taking senior boys out to the woods for walks and doing certain things with them.

    After that, we kind of fell out of contact, because of her activities and reputation as a “slut.”  I never told her that was why, I just said I didn’t feel the same way and that it was a mistake to have kissed her.

    So, last year, she finds me on Facebook after having not seen me for a good four years.  And I accepted her friend request and figured we could catch up, but I made it clear I wasn’t interested in her advances anymore.  I was looking at her profile pictures, though- and the second one I see is of her wearing a pair of swastika panties.  I am puzzled at this point, so I continue to scroll through her pics.  I suddenly see another picture of her wearing what I can only describe as a dress stylized to look like a Nazi uniform.  I look at her interests and see she is a fan of German World War II music, and after doing more snooping, I discovered she had been in a relationship with a white supremacist who had been shot and killed by police.  SHE WAS A NAZI!  Not only was she a Nazi, but in an email, she also told me that she worshipped Odin, and admitted to being annorexic by choice.

    I confronted her about this, even going so far as to tell her that my family was mainly Jewish in the past (though they married into Catholicism), and said I was wildly uncomfortable with this.  And the crazy thing is- she didn’t give a crap, cuz she still had the hots for me, and was willing to look past my Jewish ancestry.  So not only was she a Nazi, she was a really bad, unfaithful Nazi.  Sad thing is, I’m still Facebook friends with her…  It’s just such a hilarious and awkward situation, that I couldn’t bring myself to delete her, and I still email her every now and then.  (What can I say, she’s extremely hot and she’s a complete nutcase, so her status updates and whatnot give me chuckles)

    • Kyle Rybski

      A lot of people have Nazi fixations in the way goths would have vampire fixations, and will pretend to be sympathetic to the party ideals more as a fashion statement than a personal stance on an issue. Mainly to bang the people they want to bang. I’m not saying it was an act, necessarily, but that I’d be surprised if it was a conviction she thought through for more than a minute.

      If you wanted to, you probably wouldn’t have had to try very hard to get her to proclaim that she’s a Zionist.

      • Adam

        I suppose it is possible.  She seems to add people as friends now and then that go against her white-supremacy views, and even be pleasant to them and post back and forth on their walls, and I’ve only ever seen her delete these people if one of her Nazi-friends calls her out for adding them.  I think she just fancies herself a nazi because she wants to feel different, and I’ve heard from others that she grew up in a nasty, uber-conservative, tea-party type home with nasty, controlling parents, so there is a chance that dating white supremacists and pretending to be a Nazi is just her way of acting out and taking out her frustration, by giving her a misguided target.

        • Kyle Rybski

          Indeed. I’m inclined to believe that, though perhaps largely because I’ve been there. I mean, not exactly that facade, but something similar.

      • Adam

        Although I am troubled by the fact that her ex-boyfriend was shot and killed by police.  That’s unsettling.

    • Tor Nordmark

      I have always had a problem with nazism… Like a serious problem.
      More then once have my family gotten death threats and two actual assaults on our home (with guns, at that)
      On the other hand, i guess my family and nazis are just on the complete other side of each other…
      But hey, that is what you get for being a marxist activist and socialistic sympatist.

  • Hathor Liderc

    As usual, nice story.

    As for the views, I aint touching those with a 10ft pole…

  • XanderK9

    Damn. That’s for sure I never heard the “I forgot my pants” kind of excuse until now. I really hope it wasn’t true in this case. o_o
    If it was, at least he realized that because otherwise, I guess it is safe to assume that anybody would asked him to leave, regardless if it’s a public or private place.

    For his girlfriend, I am speechless in that kind of behavior. I would do the same thing you did in that case.

    Anyway, great video as usual. Can’t wait to hear more stories from you. :)

  • Alex GypsyTears Lang

    she is free to have it, still shocking as all hell 

  • Olivia Johnson

    hahaha, “I forgot my pants” is now going to be my excuse for everything.

  • food-lover-12

    Since i know you are watching the comments i wanted to ask you a question that i have had since i noticed it in your theives world review. Isn’t the 8 normally where the 7 is on your d20 on your shirt? I don’t know why i bugs me so much but it does

    • ORCACommander

       not all dice are standard. chessex has a different lay out from other companies and even chessex dosn’t standardized with theirs with the exception that a 1 and a 20 have to be polar opposites. only company that has their dies come ou the same way every time that i know of is the company that makes spin down dice for wizards which are not rpg legal for rolls since they are sequential.

    • Mavros St. John

      I have two sets of dice, one has the 7 below the 20, the other with an 8 below the 20. It just depends on the manufacturers intentions for the dice to be used…

  • yetifarmer09

    Hey Spoony, nice video as always but I was just wondering, when’s the Ultima 9 review coming?

  • Edward Jay Harington

    You know, the extreme stereotyping aside, I swear that this is why leaving your significant other out of the game is practically a cosmic rule. Any time I’ve ever seen people in a relationship game together, it’s seemed to either distract from the game because they focus on making it a “couple’s activity”, or one is trying to impress the other or thinks they can get away with being outrageous because of their life partner, or there’s favouritism…or the “you’d better give me special treatment if you don’t want to be in the doghouse” threats, or the worst thing of all “Hey guys, this is my girlfriend. She doesn’t roleplay and thinks it’s stupid, but she wants to be a part of everything I do.” (not saying guys can’t be the ‘obligatory non-gamer’ but it’s less common).

    Some couples can probably put aside their…well, “coupleness”…and play a good session, but I haven’t been lucky enough to meet them.

    On the much safer topic of DMing styles, I think the best compliment I ever got was someone thanking me that, when I screwed over their character (I think they got pickpocketed and left unconscious in an alley) I did it in such a way that they had to acknowledge that it all stemmed from logical outcomes of their own actions. Probably, “Hey, that was totally fair and logical.” is the best compliment any DM can receive.

    • Rodney Anderson

       I role play with my wife quite a bit.  I’ve never thought of it as a couples activity and she shares an interest in the hobby as well.  I’m not trying to say you’re wrong but I would like give you an example that not all couples are like that, but most are.  I’ve played a brother and sister roll in a game with my wife and I normally play characters that have no involvement with her outside the party.  The only time I ever played a character who had a relationship with her, he also slept around because he was a bad guy. 
      I have made a point to be an example to all those couples who use RPG’s as date night and instead just chose to do what I wanted with a character.  She feels the same way.  But yeah, you gotta be careful with those couples RP sessions.  They can be really horrible with the wrong people.  So mostly your right.

    • Rodney Anderson

       I role play with my wife quite a bit.  I’ve never thought of it as a couples activity and she shares an interest in the hobby as well.  I’m not trying to say you’re wrong but I would like give you an example that not all couples are like that, but most are.  I’ve played a brother and sister roll in a game with my wife and I normally play characters that have no involvement with her outside the party.  The only time I ever played a character who had a relationship with her, he also slept around because he was a bad guy. 
      I have made a point to be an example to all those couples who use RPG’s as date night and instead just chose to do what I wanted with a character.  She feels the same way.  But yeah, you gotta be careful with those couples RP sessions.  They can be really horrible with the wrong people.  So mostly your right.

    • Anders Dalgren

      This is why my girlfriend is only allowed to watch, she can’t really grasp the whole “we don’t always need to be a couple” thing for the most part… or how to play D&D for that matter, and I am thinking about DMing my first campaign soon, this actually is quite helpful advice for what I should expect, thanks Edward, and thank you Spoony for the video, good as always

  • Lockark

    Whao. From the way you describe it, I think she might of had a fetish for gay men…. I’ve seen people try and use D&D as a outlet for their feitsh before.


  • Scott Jorgensen

    I think you’re too nice about the subject. Good video though. Keep it up.

  • Elliott Wallace

    Political Mosh Pit- Good name for a band. 

    • Jessica Perry

       I’d see them live.

      • Shantal Figueroa

        I’d be afraid of the epic moshpits that would inevitably be involved and choose not to go. 

  • Jessica Perry

     You would think that she would have stopped when she saw the uncomfortable look on your face.

  • Jessica Perry

     Did the other guy ever find out?

  • Adren Rice

    Gary Time, huh? Yeah, I sympathize. My dad runs on Gary Time.

  • Kaia Batterson

    I almost went to class in nothing but a bra once, granted I was extremely tired from pulling an all nighter for finals but it did happen.  Thank God I put on my hoodie before I actually got out of the car. 

  • Jess C.

    Congrats to Spoony! You handled the situation the way I would have, since I am pretty shy and don’t like to get into arguments with other people like that. Questions: Did Dominic ever find out about what she said? And did her and Gary ever break up? Or did you stop talking to them completely? I need an epilogue sir!

  • Andrew Gomez

    Well done spoony on handling a situation like that. read thru all the comments below me and id say most of them seem to be fairly intelligent and respectful people. im not sure how man you have banned if any, but im really impressed. cheers to the good People

  • Anders Dalgren

    I really like this video, it’s interesting because it relates to what I am learning in my modern world history class, I also love how you handled the situation to silence all the up roar that follows things like this, I am going to refer this video to my classmates and even my teacher so that we can hopefully discuss this video in class

  • Yannick Caron

    Why do I have the feeling that even though I should be offended, the video is interesting and surreal enough that I don’t care at all? He forgot his pants? Does anyone has an explanation other than he never wear any? How does that happen?

  • Charles McFarlin

    … He forgot his pants… this sounds like it is a news story form Nash’s show. Oh well. As for the other half… I ain’t gonna touch that with a ten foot pole. I have an opinion, but I will just keep it to myself. Nice video anyway. Also, I just noticed the imp dolls you own.

  • Steven Anthony Skelly

    Wow, I can’t even imagine how awkward that would be, specially with it being in their house. That said, I have been in similar situations many-a-times before, not involving D&D but, well generally anything, where you’re around someone who isn’t really a friend or you don’t know well enough, then they start fetching up stuff like that.

    I tend to just keep silent and just nod along. Not wishing to start trouble or bring up an heated debate… Specially if its not someone I’m comfortable with or know enough, even more so if I’m in their place, so its better to just try and bite your tongue.

    Also, I hear that making Monty Python jokes is pretty much a no go area for most DnD games. Specially holy grail ones.

  • RaiderRich2001

    “I swear to you on whatever you find holy…”

    Can you swear on the 8 virtues?

    • Ian Arnold

      I swear on Humility

  • Jaroslaw Kubiec

    Poles are worse than people of Hispanic decent…

  • Heather Solomon

    The levels of awkward here wow. But the big question: Did you ever forget your pants?

  • William “BooRat” Blackshire

    Great story, man!  The pants part was good!  As for the racism thing I’ve come across that in a few places I just nod my head and pretend like I’m listing and then when I can get the fuck out of there!  There was a girl I worked with and was trying to date and she took me over to one of her friend’s apartments to hangout and her friend’s roommate’s boyfriend was over and he was the biggest freaking Skinhead I’ve ever seen in my life!!!  It was on of those things every time he left the room to get a beer or go take a leak i’d look over at the girl I worked with trying to hint at her to get me away from that place!  Funny part is though of that whole thing was the guy’s girlfriend(the roommate) was Hispanic…  So, it was an odd double standard!   I just don’t get people in general!

    • PHlevels

      Are you sure he was actually a Neo Nazi? Because there are skin heads who aren’t racists or nazis.

  • Strelnikov

    If I had been you, Spoony, the minute she started in on the Mexican slurs, you should have said “My great-grandmother’s maiden name was Hernandez, you [throw in some Spanish cursing.]” It would’ve ruined the game, but, man….the fireworks show would have been fantastic.

    I’ve met people like those two; I don’t know what it is, but Spoony, you are not the first to run across the Space Cadet/Possible Druggie Burnout and their Slightly Crazier Girlfriend. I met mine in community college – thank Christ I had little to do with them beyond student government, which was a clusterfuck to begin with.

  • BillyMcKenna

    You know, I’ve actually had a very similar experience only for me it was extremely strange because I still to this day have absolutely no idea what this guys political or ideological opinion is because he seems to ignore his own opinion.

    A few years ago I was running a game of Shadowrun. It was a decent game, and I had a new guy join the game. This new guy, we’ll call him John, was a decent roleplayer who I’d played with before. Confident and intelligent. He was a friend of another friend of mine who he’d known as far back as the beginning of High School, so naturally I assumed he was an OK guy.

    In idle conversation he mentioned that he wasn’t religious. At the time the vast majority of my friends where either Christians or the infuriating “agnostic”, you know, the person who wants to pretend there’s a middle ground so they don’t upset anyone but wind up pissing everyone off because there is no middle ground, you either believe or you don’t believe… simple. But yeah, it was nice to finally have another atheist in the group because I was starting to feel like the token atheist. This all came up during a smoking break, (we where also the only two non-smokers), where we where mentioning old characters and he was talking about a devout Muslim character he played in a World Of Darkness game.

    Honestly this came as a shock. I expected him to be somewhat hostile towards Islam. Not Muslims, but Islam yes. I’d mentioned a few times how I find much of the teachings of Islam offensive and just generally assumed he did too, but he spoke with incredible reverence about Islam, so much so that I wouldn’t be shocked if he converted to Islam. But that’s not the weird bit. The weird bit came a few moments later when he said the following sentence:

    “Oh, but I tell you one group I do hate. The fucking Jews.”

    I was a bit taken aback by this and started to ask questions at which point he explained in great detail why he thought the Jews were intrinsically Evil, had ruined multiple European economies and how he thought Hitler was generally right and only looking out for Germany’s best interests. I wish I was making this up. He then went on to say how he thought there was a Zionist agenda and that the Jews controlled all British media. Stunned by this I just kept asking for him to explain in more detail, at which point he segued into how immigrants are destroying Britain, how white people are genetically superior, and finally topped it by telling me he was a member of the BNP, which is basically a Christian Neo-Nazi party in the UK.

    Oh, but that’s not the strange bit. Oh no. This games club we where a member of, has a Jewish club President who “John” went out drinking with every Sunday and his girlfriend was (and I think still is) a half-Chinese girl who moved to the UK in her late teens.

    To this day I’ve still not quite resolved in my mind how a BNP voting anti-Semitic white-supremacist can think those things and also date a Chinese girl, have Jewish friends and speak fondly of Islam. That just doesn’t make sense. I like to think he was just playing me for a joke that day, but he’s hinted these opinions since a few times, even in groups.

    I’m no longer friends with this guy, mainly because we’ve since moved house and we’re no longer in contact with each other but for over a year I was really unsure as to whether one of the guys I gamed with was or wasn’t a bigoted racist. I chose to believe the conversation was just a joke, after all, his actions don’t match, but all that does is make him rather strange, and I’m not sure if that’s worse or not.

  • Misroi

    Gary’s Pants:

    I’ve got friends like this.  Not this bad, mind you, but I recognize them here.  Hell, I’m bad about it myself.  I often say “game starts at 6:30,” which is really just ensuring we get everyone there by 7pm.  I also used to game with a guy who had lost his driving license (too many DUIs), so he had to rely on people to pick him up.  He would *NEVER* be ready when you arrived at his place.  Eventually, he ran out of people willing to game with him, so I stopped seeing him around.

    I have only one question: if Noah called him from his car, presumably he had his cell phone on him.  This raises a very frightening question: if he really was sans pants, where was he pocketing his phone?!?


    Wow.  That’s tough.  I mean, we all know people are out there that believe these fringe things.  But sitting down next to one?  For that long?  Yeah, you win a medal, Spoony.

    Normally, this is where I’d make a comparison to something that I’ve experienced in my time as a gamer and nerd, but…yeah, I’ve got nothing.  I’ve played with one or two people who I suspected were, well, less than racially tolerant, but I’ve never had someone come out and remove all doubt from my mind like that.

    Here’s hoping the next CM will be a great and funny story after this one!

  • Charles M Simmons

    As a tabletop gamer who’s black I had racism happen to me and it almost costed me from missing out on the experience. 

    It was in my first ever gaming group I met through meetup. I’m a shy person and this was the very first time I interacted with people not of my background in this social dynamic. I didn’t at the time think I wasn’t wanted in the group as I thought geeks in general wouldn’t treat people badly as others treat us. I was wrong. Names have been changed though they don’t deserve such regard.There was one other minority (Asian) I’ll name as Mitch in the group and Nick, was never very friendly toward me at all. Nick would never say hi to me when I greeted him, aggressive when I made rookie mistakes and so on. The others acted like that somewhat and looking back they never would respond to my ideas or suggestions for help with my character in email.

    The DM was nice toward me which in hindsight him killing my familiar all the time now seems he was being passive aggressive towards me.  The one of the other guys dropped out and it was just four players. One time when I got to a session murmurs about getting other players from a conversation they had before I arrived was being finished. I being excited and interested at more people coming in asked when will they come in. 

    They… quiet down and ignored my inquiry. I noticed when Nick and the DM left the other white guy I’ll name Jason  and Mitch were nice towards me and we’ll shoot the shit and play Munchkin. One session a while later the others bought booze for DM pity points. So we got drunk. The DM during the session made a comment about “the other minority” that caught me off guard. 

     I being drunk didn’t want to think he meant it in the bad way and didn’t want to start a argument with him as I thought we were friends. In hindsight he meant it in a dismissive way. After the session when we were alone he made another comment about my character theme which was a Lawful Good Halfling Infernal Warlock who wants to get rid of of his evil powers and alluded it to me being “a good black person”. It was subtle enough for him to weasel out of if I made an issue of it and but it did piss me off. 

    As I was in a upscale apartment building (Mitch place) and didn’t want to risk legal trouble popping him in the teeth, so I let it go. The next session Nick brought his wife into the game and he was unusually nice to me. He refilled my water glass and was civil to me in my suggestion and ideas in the game which he would usaully ignore anything I would say. 

    In hindsight he didn’t want to be prejudice in front of his wife as she was very nice to me. The session went well and I thought everything was cool as the DM apogized to me before the session in emails but I swore to myself I won’t drink around them again. Jack mentioned he was going to bring his friend into the group. The session we were supposed to meet next was canceled as the DM was sick and so was Fred’s wife. The reminder was going to go over battle tactics but I changed my mind in going due to the last minute a friend visited  me. 

    Besides,  we were low level and we didn’t have a major fight when we left off last time. I told them I wont be coming and let me know what they come up with. 

    I never received another email from them again. After a few weeks I came to terms to what occurred. They kept me around as long a possible until they could get other people to fill the vacant fifth slot (the wife) and my spot (Jason’s friend).I felt hurt to be treated in such a way. And stopped playing (well with no group how can I play?). It took me four months before I even tried to look for another group on meetup again. Even then I made sure I had a picture up this time so there wouldn’t be no surprises on who I was. One mod of one RPG group emailed me as I stated the previous issue I had and he told me they were jerks and to get over it. I found a newly formed Shawdowrun group and at first apprehensive of them,I found them to be awesome as they value me as a fellow player (ask for my input, talk to me, give advice, etc) and person. It was what I was looking for in the social experience of tabletop gaming. With it now being a year of tabletop gaming I still group with them biweekly; our adventures could take up more space then I want to already. I also branched off into playing in my local Pathfinder Society group. I’ll end this by saying I’m learning a lot about people from doing this hobby and I at least got the basics down with playing with those previous asshole as the only good thing that came out of that interaction.P.S. I did sent those rat bastards an email through my alternate email as I assumed they blocked the one I used with them in the group list and told them off with a comment towards the DM about his testicular fortitude being his dump stat. ^__^

    • Nathan Jacob Caudill

      lol at the email you sent.

      did he reply back? i would love to see what he has to say :3

      • Charles M Simmons

        Sorry about the very late reply. He never did. I see him now and then and he pretends not know me.He was running Rogue Trader/4ED with a new diverse group of players.He not worth a store ban for harassment to tell his players what he thinks of minorities.

        Soon he’ll be seeing a lot of me again when I start to GM Pathfinder games for my local PFS group. I’ve been doing VTT and recently gained my first PFS GM star.I want to give back to my club by having more games in Wash. DC city limits.

        I do wonder if I will ever run into players from that game one day trying to join a group I’m already in. Mitch email blast invite me to his Linkedin network. I declined.

  • s3111

    OK, I don’t want to actually be offensive or anything but why is “wetback” supposed to be offensive to Mexicans? I mean I’d never heard that one before, and didn’t know what kind of ethnicity she was supposed to be ragging on until Spoony said she talked about Mexicans stealing jobs.

    So yeah. Why “Wetbacks” for Mexicans?

    • William “BooRat” Blackshire

      Because it refers to illegal aliens coming across the Rio Grand River that boarders Mexico and Texas and tiny bit of New Mexico!

    • Steven Bruce

      It’s a term used to refer to illegal immigrants in the US. The ‘wetback’ refers to the fact that they work in the fields, and such work causes them to have sweaty backs. Alternatively, Mexicans in Mexico refer to other Mexicans that have crossed the border into the US as Mojados, and is considered an equally offensive slur.

  • Jordan Fett

    You should pass judgement on Racists. 

    You should make your views public.
    You should speak out and let people know that the very appropriate response to bigotry and racism is laughter and legitimate indignation.

  • Dracke Stalen Torgen

    As a mexican im surpised to hear that term “wet backs” i never heard it before.
    anyway back to topic , thats one killer dm i had brutasl dms but a player a fight? thats brutal.

    • Jetstream

       It’s a pretty common slur in Texas. Wouldn’t surprise me if it is in Arizona too.

  • Robert Redman-Corbin

    I think you showed a lot of restraint, and maybe it was your friend being there. Personally I might have gone to (Gary) and told him I needed to leave, for personal reasons, and then just like you, not came back.

    As for the Brutal DM part, I haven’t dealt with that issue. The DM I had for a good part of 10 years was a Law student, tuned Lawyer, so he tended to take everything you said very literally. If you did not specify you were speaking out of character he would assume it was in character and would associate it into the story. I think it was his way of trying to get us not to fiddle around. Instead it might have caused him more unneeded chaos in his game. Trying to make a wish under him was damn near impossible. You had to spend 3 hours looking at your sentence structure from every angle. You also better make sure you wrote it out in Word, with correct punctuation and capitalization, or you were boned.

  • Arsh Darksbane

    Sigh for the crazy people who ruin perfectly good games. 

    Isn’t there always one?
    That’s why I don’t run public games anymore. I choose my group and keep them close. 
    I hate having that one person in a game who you really wish just wouldn’t show up.

  • Allaiyah Weyn

    She was totally playing Mille Feuille of the Haz Knights from Bakuretsu Hunter….Except he was bi & groped everyone regardless of gender. 

  • NicklausG

    Wow…. i Had a SO SIMILAR EXPERIENCE, it’s frightening.

      A few years ago, i think …3 maybe, there’s this GUY that comes from the big town; you gotta know that i’m from a town (120 000 souls) in the province of Quebec that is actually split in three really distinct sub-towns with their own circles and stuff, but the RPG community is quite united all around. For such a backwater place (it’s like 300 kms from Québec City, and more than 750 kms from Montreal!), the gaming community’s still pretty big, totalling some 120 players from the three sub-towns (hey, backwaters are good for hobbies!). So MOST of the time, it’s split in like three “gangs”, let’s say Center, West and East, with center being numerous and diverse, west being more hardcore and tightly knit and then east being kinda emergent and …”young” (west was MOSTLY over 35 years old in general, the “Old Bunch”).

      So the GUY comes in town, and we …well we’re ALL impressed. He went to the BIG LARPS with THOUSANDS for WEEKS in Europe, and he’s got a gods damned real handmade armor, personally crafted; he’s familiar with ALL the games, and i mean ALL from the obscure indies to the Classics and News D&Ds and the OLD Paladiums and Robotech and GOD he’s seen it ALL! One of my gaming partners at the time said he was our geekie equivalent of the “Artistic Revelation of the Year” award winner; it was mostly true. EVERYBODY wanted that GUY in his games, in his LARPs, in their circles; He was f’ing AMAZING! Charismatic! Smart! Strategic! Incredible Actor, Poet and Improv MASTER! A Hundred and twenty people litterally had a RPG-Crush on the guy! And HO his bombshell of a gf did NOT made it easy to just shrug him off either: hot, gentle and (larps be blessed) a REAL CLOTHES DESIGNER specialized in VINTAGE AND COSTUMES! They were SPLENDID!

      And SO, the GUY gets in EVERY circle; West, Center and East are RAVISHING the man and plugging him in ALL the games, creating settings around this AMAZING character he has been carrying for a couple years in differents larps, tabletops and whatnots. In 1 month, this guy got invited in the SIX most renowned larping groups AND in the four main games that are running at the time …and through luch, the dude gets to crash at MY place one night, and i talk to him about MY game that’s been running for two years and he’s ALL   GOOGLY  EYED   AT   IT!!! He asks for a place in; my two friends/players in the living room go “YES!” and i’m “Sure, man that would be GREAT!” *thinking OHMYGODTHISISSOGONNAMAKEMYGEEKIEREPGOUP!*

      And so we start having him at home almost three times à week, he’s really researching this character for the game, inserting himself into our little casual larp group (mostly, we’re just 6 palls drinking and smoking shisha at larps, being hauty jerks before that;), getting real close real quick with most of us and fitting in just well.

    … and then.

      The guy takes time during game breaks, NEVER DURING GAMES MIND YOU (as he said), but he starts taking time during game breaks, in MY living room, with my friend from guadaloupa just leaving and my wife being there, PLAYING WITH US while HIS girlfriend is back at their appartment sewing his suits and costumes, he thus starts spreading neo-nazi-AND-misogynistic propaganda every  single   setence     for      HOURS! Nonstop. Their is NO other subjects in his mouth; he’s not “hateful”, he’s “Just so Emminently Superior” that he doesn’t need to hate, just to spread his gospel.

       I am frozen for 10 minutes. Completly taken aback. Nobody says ANYTHING. For HOURS we heard his comments ringing in our ears and whenever we would take a pause, he would spam the hate again.


       Next days, we don’t see him but GOD we talk; was he high? Joking? Mad with anger at someone? WTH?!

       Anyways… we go on, the rpg community goes on, the games and larps and shits go on and he doesn’t talk about it anymore. …until a few days later, maybe 10, some 60 persons break camp after the big larp where the 3 gangs are starting to meet up (it’s a new really classic fantasy one with swords and stuff that is starting to get real big, real quick at the time, his PERFECT setting) and   he    starts   AGAIN! HOURS while guys are STUCK packing tents, fetching lost items and gear he talks to the YOUNG ones and he’s spreading his nazy-macho gospel!

       So NOW people are getting on to him; what we five have been whispering in disbelief for days is true, the guy is SPAMMING the community with Hate-speach! WTF?! So we TRY, and GODS we TRY to get him OUT of the games; he gets killed in 2 larps, he’s sent on weird solo errands on tabletop games and i’m essentially calling him last minute possible every game so he CAN’T talk to us before, and i’m doing my best to expulse him (or say, we all go at the convenience store and hey, let’s seperate now that we’re here and you guys are halfway there anyway, ok all, yeah good, bye! and wink at the accomplices…) right as the game is done ’cause we were SO enthousiast about him in the first games that he’s become central and ESSENTIAL to the plot, so we can’t KICK him out of the GAME, but i’m sure as hell trying to kick him out of my APPARTMENT!

       And guess what, it works! He guesses i want more time with my then engaged girlfriend (now wife) and willingly gives us space, by his own words. As the weeks go by, his presence is slowly fading from the plot, we can slowly relegate him to a token role (i know, not the most human thing to do, but that game had been going on for 17 months with our best pals! IT STILL IS like 20 months later!) and he finally gets bored and, on a fancy, he moves away, like that, back to the big City where he’ll try to catch a cougar to sugar-mommy him.

      That would have been an acceptable ending to the chapter.


      But he’s a recurring character; we implanted him too well. I did.

      I realize that fact, a couple months later, when he “for old times’ sake” wants to come around in town and ask to crash at my place; only natural, no? After all, it’s the first place he did while around these parts and he got really engaged in our games, friendly terms and stuff, so …yeah, i’m thinking “come on, he’s not …well, he’s not ALL bad”. So we let him in (the fact that he WAS standing in the rain, 11pm, with only a second pair of shoes and two shirts in october did kinda matter; in october, it gets to 16fahrenheit during nightime so it WOULD be bad to leave him to wander the streets…). Never. Let. Them. IN. EVER!

      He stayed for 4 days, days during which no games were running, no larps were active and no questing was possible. So he talked …Bitched mostly; about black people, women, his ex *yeah the awesome designer girl who’s still our friend? he cheated on her AND stalked her for months at the same time, while BOASTING, classy!)*, my softy-pink relationship and the no-balls rolists around here who aren’t up to HIS standards and so he chose to quit their games…

      And he left. Leaving me with borrowed dirty clothes and a contant mental nausea.

      …for a couple mounths. Then appeared with his BROTHER at my door, asking for hospitality. I promptly pick up a Risk 2210 game so he’ll have to concentrate and GUESS WHAT, he doesn’t but the BROTHER is SO, SO no happy with the shameful talk of this little brat brother of his, but he doesn’t SAY so, he just looks SSSSOOOOOOOOO SAD whenever the GUY opens up his hate-hole. I’m pitying the poor older bro and let them crash… god i’m a pushover.

      So, they leave next morning, there IS nothing there for them *why were they here anyway?*, no one who CAN let them stay anylonger, dudes, i WORK, and nobody wants them in any circle for ANY thing, even binge drinking among the bar pillars (yip, they were NOT allowed inside and i do NOT want to know WHY they still recognized him months later).
      Did i ALSO mention that we learned the guys has been training in Muai Thai and Krav Maga? Nobody wanted to EVICT him, or lock a door in his face cause he had a history, we discovered, of agression and forced entry (many injuctions still bar his way from MANY girls neighboorhoods). So when he’s FINALLY left, i send a quick note on his email, and while it could have been MUCH nicer, he realizes that my “inferior ways will never be compatible with his drive and charisma”, and to this day, we haven’t heard of him again. And we Moved. And i made sure he can’t find me on facebook or anywhere else. And my phone number’s not published in the book. And my real name doesn’t appear anywhere on the internet, i check monthly (he DID broke two of those injunctions, and corresponding windows, after all… lucky the girls weren’t there).

      So WHAT have we learned here? Well… that some GUYs can be both pretty cool on the onlook, and god awful when you scracth the surface; that i’m positively afraid of guys who can kill four people in 5 seconds and manifest interest in such things, but hey, i’m not sure THIS is bad; that you will hear the most terrible things come from the places that seem the most unlikely, and god damn, that this year’s new trendy fashion or idol MUST be and asshole, SOMEHOW! DON’T LET THEM IN!

    …oh, and that with a high enough Intelligence+Performance extended roll, you can steer your game AWAY from the ball-hungry star that you HAVE to bench away for your team’s sake ;)

      Other funny things: i’m now know among gamers around to be both great AND merciless at storytelling/DMing, having been adept at removing him AND keep the game going; it was a greater achievement than including him, as so many game crashed once he shat all over ‘em. That and the official Discriminatory Discourse = XP(half a level) Yellow Flag then BAN Red Flag at my house and games: i’m the respect-fascist now!

    • Kevin Ward

      i think krav maga is a jewish fighting style too.. only if he knew he fought like a jew…

  • NicklausG

    Well… as i read my previous comment back, not SO similar in it’s “course”, but the initial reaction and SHOCK to the radical e(pa)thos, yup… quite the same.

  • Chris Lauderdale

    DMs I have worked with have the same problem Gary did. 2 at least. Bandits in the woods should not have a 50% chance of a player death.

    The one DM I have now is less of a brutal DM so much as a drama queen. He has a tendency to make EVERY game some big epic event for the character, some life changing event. When it happens to your character every other session, it gets tedious. Worst of all, subplots are dropped nore often than Space Thunder Kids. He sort of has the same problem as Gary, that he has a job where he has a LOT of free time to write game material. Because of that he probably gets real antsy to have the big stuff he has been writing come around. Also, he has YEARS of gaming material in his campaign planned (Basic story arcs). I really feel a little disassociated with my character and could only imagine him being JADED at all the crazy crap that happens. In fact, if all the stuff that has happened to him actually happened, most people would likely have gone clinically insane. He is a fantastic writer, but he really needs to scale back.

    The other DM was MUCH worse. He was a pretty talented writer but as I played for him for YEARS, I felt his mental stability slip. Also, we lost a couple of players due to internal shit, but that wasn’t the issue. The problem was, we were level 4 characters being charged by a goddess DIRECTLY. Our characters were consistently in over our heads and dropped like damn flies. I calculated it once.  We averaged, Not including weeks we didn’t have game, a character death once every four sessions. Bear in mind when we have a character death, the entire session was pretty much the logistics of dragging a corpse out of the place. Not only that but we would spend the NEXT session trying to get a resurrection and pay for it. He eventually actually added a cap of 3 resurrections per character. We had more than one character hit that cap. I had more than one character hit that cap I think.

    I eventually left that group when something bad happened. Real bad.

    I have to set this up. First, this was basically a custom game. It ORIGINALLY first edition, but we mangled the rules due to first edition being VERY unclear, and deciding that certain things were unbalanced. (He made it mostly nicer but in some cases made first edition deadlier. Think about that one for a minute.)

    Second, this guy was already putting me on edge for playing due to a long list of character deaths, and adding a new mechanic. Geek points. I kid you not, he would quiz us on his world, like a history quiz and they were not easy questions. Based on the number of questions we got right we got Geek Points, which we traded in for a reroll for any roll any game. At first it was a nice change, but the DM started balancing the game around the use of these points. Meaning we faced off against things we NEEEVER should have been taking on at that level. We were facing a Cloud Giant around level 5 or 6. Not. A good match. Even with 6 or 7 PCs (with only 4 players).

    Despite this, the game was fun, largely thanks to the input of several players. I tried to engage the DM on his terms, helped him with the system to help us make effective characters, and the players coming up with a REAL interesting thing. Instead of wandering adventurers, we actually invested in and began running a keep and starting a small mini kingdom of a sort. It was actually rather interesting, where we were lords of the manor.

    Players spent many hours working on the keep, as they spent them building characters, we mapped out the keep and the people inside, and actually had a small town around the keep including a large tavern that switched owners but made the game real engaging. We were invested. It was the main reason I stayed so long, despite a lot of things.

    Well it all went to shit. Within a SINGLE session.

    My character was a halfling booking cleric/wizard who worshipped the god of magic and knowledge. She had proficiencies (think feats) in researching and had set up her own small library. She had an intelligence of 16 and a winsdom of 18 (both of which are insane by 1st edition standards). I had designed her to identify items we found specifically since the identify spell in 1st edition was fucking UNHOLY, and the DM actually made it WORSE.

    We find an artifact. I tell the DM I am going to do research on it specifically since we get the hint it is a divine artifact of some sort. Despite EVERYTHING I invested in that character to that end and despite a rather good roll, she failed to find anything and the DM said we would need to visit a major city’s library.

    That night the artifact started having random effects. BIG effects. Long story short, everyone in our town and keep except the party was killed. The keep was completely ruined. We had no chance to rebuild as the land would be considered cursed easily as crazy shit just happened. That was not the worst part.

    The worst part was after we destroyed the artifact that ruined our well built world on a whim,it turned into a black sphere. when we touched something to it, it was sucked in. We eventually figured this was a plot hook and each in turn decided to go into it. It was admittedly a dumb move, and we all ended up on the 7th plane of hell.

    The DM assured us we would not survive, and we had a choice. Die or sell our souls to demons and become evil. None of us sold out.

    Due to divine intervention rolls (Another mechanic we added) 2 characters out of 8 managed to get pulled out of there BY OUR RESPECTIVE GODS. And in both cases we lost ALL our equipment, including a couple of minor artifacts.  The rest of the characters were dead forever. By the way, all my equipment meant my Wizard/Cleric LOST HER FUCKING SPELLBOOK.

    I was the luckiest person there. My other character was away form the area and not invested in the keep, and wizard/cleric actually survived without losing her soul.

    To cap it all off the DM admitted he didnt know all the effects the artifact could cause and sort of picked it out of a hat. He then justr shrugged it off.

    We lost characters we cared about, in a place we invested in, because the DM found a fun item and instead of reviewing it, threw it in. This was after a particularly bad session where we had a character death due to hypothermia because he decided to enforce weather effects and change the weather suddenly from spring to deep fucking winter WHILE WE WERE DAYS OUT IN THE WOODS. Since we had no ranger or equivalent, we nearly died, the DM commenting that our players had not prepared winter clothing when we left. WELL NO SHIT! IT WAS SPRING WHEN WE LEFT!

    I made my excuses and left that game. Despite my remaining character being one I absolutely ADORED, I decided the DM had no respect for the investment we had in the game both as players and as contributors.

    I don’t regret it. I sort of miss some of the players, but now I look forward to gaming instead of dreading it.

  • McKay Brooks

    How in the name of Arceus do you forget your pants?

    • Mavros St. John

      better yet…how did it take him several minutes to realize that he had forgotten them…

  • iam

    A cruel DM? BWAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA…yeah i know what you mean Spoony..heck after 7 years of not playing DnD 3.5 i still remember ONE…ONE FUCKIN’ thing…okay first you have to know:
    We didn’t play DnD as it was meant to be played… ’cause we’re new to DnD and our DM was an Idiot! So what happened?
    Basically we restarted DnD after we got to Level 3 with our last chars…in that Group we NEVER got higher than Level 6 which was boring as hell so I leaved the group soon, but back to topic.
    I was a Level 4 Cleric (i still have the Charsheet here) and we played an Adventure so goddamn boring i remember nothing about the Story except THE ONE thing! So you know at Level 4 a Cleric can’t do much when it comes to casting cause you have just a few good Spells and then not many of them, so you basically you have to stay with you sword until Level 12 (i think) when you get your first “Safe or Die” (Yes you can do awesome stuff with magic before Level 12 but at Level 12…your powerlevel raised EXTREEEEEEEMELY because of the safe or die spells).
    So i had a Mithril-Sword (yeah i know just go with it. We were REAL noobs cause the DM explained the DnD-Rules and everything…well he didn’t actually explained anything besides: There is a 20 sided dice…roll it!) and that sword had an enchantment so his Crit-range was 18-20 instead of 19-20 and then x4 (which is INSANE) instead of x3 (i can barely read the stats. The Charsheet is 7 years old^^). So for a Level 4 Char this sword was a real treasure and i sorta loved it (i love badass swords. Really i collect swords at home…real swords). What happened was we arrived at a small village just for resting and sleep, so we rented a room at the tavern and that’s all you have to know.
    We went to sleep and nothing really impressive happened (because the adventure was BORING!!!!).
    The sun rised, i stood up and the DM said the following:
    DM: “Your sword was stolen!”
    Me: “What?”
    DM: “Your sword was stolen!”
    Me: “WHAT why?”
    DM: “You didn’t lock the room!”
    I was REALLY mad!
    You know there are some things the DM should and some things the DM should NOT do!
    This is something the DM shouldn’t do! Yes basically he is right, but that didn’t add anything to the story. He just did it because he felt like it would be fun and suprise IT WASN’T FUN AT ALL!!! You CAN steal from the player yeah you can, but just because you can you shouldn’t do it!
    So we stayed at the village for one more day so i had time to find the thief.
    And i found him…her i dunno…he sold the sword…for 40 bucks <.<.
    So i searched the guy who buyed it, I found him and the sword was broken…what?
    It was broken! I mean this was a sword made of goddamn mithril! You can't fuck it up just like that. You can break mithril, but it's difficult.
    So i lost my only weapon and what the DM did too besides being a dick:
    He was REALLY stingy with loot so we had about…350 golpieces and I mean the WHOLE GROUP (6 Players)! So i couldn't afford a new sword without begging at my Groupmates.
    Long story short:
    I got gold, i searched for a new weapon and what i got…back then i was just lucky…today i'm like: WHAT THE F… 0_0

    Here are the stats:

    1 D12 +6 normal +1 D6 fire -Damage / Critrange 17-20 x3 <— ONE HANDED!!!!

    for 130 Goldpieces!

    I mean as a player: You're fine! This weapon is overpowered as hell, but if the DM says i get this for 130…have fun!
    Today i'm just like: Besides being a dick he didn't know the rules!
    I didn't know the rules because i played DnD for…about 1 Year and not very often. It takes time to get into PnP RPGs and with such a dumb DM…there was no chance to become a good player!
    The other mistake we made was: We played WAY over 10 hours! That's too long!
    A good session is about 5-7 hours. That's enough. Over 7 hours you have to fight with some problems:tiredness and hunger are just two! So i left the group because it was just so boring and the group was too dumb and childish to play DnD right! I managed to find a good group (which sadly doesn't exist anymore :/) and i managed to play some other systems like:Shadowrun 4th ED (with the DnD Group mentioned above and it was quiet fun, because we also didn't play it the way it is meant to be played…and that's good because I don't like Shadowrun how it's intended to be.)CthuluSavage WorldsWarhammer FantasyWarhammer 40kDnD 4.0 (I REALLY like the system because it's so easy, but you can get much out of it.)World of DarknessDSA (I really don't like DSA)Dungeons the Dragoning 40k ( a REALLY GOOD and FUN mixup between: DnD, W40k and 2 others i forgot. I just played one session in a PbP-Game).

  • Matthew Dolby

    Good lord.  Spoony, you have better tolerance than I would have.  I would’ve probably called her on her shit and just fucking left.  

  • Kyle Rybski

    How does one even… how does a Pole ever… what?

  • Kyle Rybski

    Maybe it’s just because I lived in Holyoke, Massachusetts for so long, but to me, ‘I forgot my pants’ is another way to pronounce ‘My sleep aid is heroin.’

  • Tyson Vanover

    I am actually in a somewhat similar situation right now.  Someone who I am gaming with and often is the DM is a bit of a racist, from a long line of racists, including a few actual Nazis, not just Germans during WW2.  But he realizes his family is racist and that they tend to also be colossal a-holes that he generally doesn’t like.  What I find interesting about him and his games are that they are often a reflection of him working through his own issues with his background.  Often the villains are Nazis (in a recent 50’s pulp scifi game) or Human Supremacists (in both a recent D&D and Star Wars game).  It can get weird and interesting at times as he works through his own personal demons in the games he runs.  Reoccurring themes in racist propaganda will bleed into his games in weird and interesting ways.

    And as someone who was raised Jewish I really do find it fascinating.  His games are almost universally enjoyable if a bit rough in places.  And I find our friendship surprising in so many ways. 

    • Devin Parker

      I find that really encouraging, for many reasons. Nobody has any control over where they come from, and I don’t envy him growing up with such a family background. It’s great to hear that gaming has provided him with a means to deal with that to some degree, and also a vehicle by which the two of you can express your friendship.

  • Sam Rowett

    I used to have a lot of big, climactic fights in the game I’m currently running: which was hard on the players until they realised that death was cheaper than it is in Paranoia in our ‘verse. Now players seem to have picked up on my love of epicness and exploited it for lulz, like the time one of them swam across an ocean to escape a horde of demons because they *technically speaking* had the Strength stat required for such a feat.

    To this day, I’m not sure what bugs me more… The fact that they knew they -could- do it, or the fact that I -let- them.

  • Devin Parker

    Wow. I’m glad I never had to deal with such a situation myself. The worst I’ve ever had to deal with was atrocious hygiene and nonexistent housekeeping (one word: cockroaches). While your story isn’t the worst I’ve ever heard (check out the long-running gamer horror stories threads on RPGnet for some seriously mind-bending social awkwardness), my concern about ending up in that kind of situation is what has kept me from tabletop gaming with strangers for most of my life. I acknowledge that I may have missed out on some good games or meeting some great people, but in general I think of gaming as a social activity, and I wouldn’t expect to enjoy spending hours in the company of people I don’t already know I get along with. Additionally, I know that the people I game with are looking for the same sorts of things in a game as I am – we love immersive character roleplaying, world-building, and dramatic story, as opposed to, say, min-maxing characters and focusing primarily on combat (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Mind you, I’d love to go to a good gaming convention some day (my only experience of gaming at a convention was not a good one, but it was a tiny convention and it was twenty years ago), I play in a fantasy LARP in which I meet and interact with new players every so often, and I’m currently playing in a ConstantCon game on Google+ with a GM and players I only know through the GM’s blog (the GM lives in Italy, no less). But that still feels like we’re meeting on neutral ground; it’s a different situation than face-to-face tabletop gaming with strangers on a regular basis, and worlds different than going to a stranger’s house to game! Call me a coward, but in general I’d prefer not to put myself in that position.

    On another note, I’m ashamed to admit that I have been the Guy Who Consistently Arrives Late. You’re absolutely right about it being a matter of consideration for others, and in the past I just always told myself that it was okay, it was just a game, they could just NPC my character until I arrived and I could catch up on what was happening quickly enough. But with the difficulty of arranging people’s schedules, it really does become a serious issue. So I’ve been trying to be better about that over the past few years. I think not being able to game as often as I used to, and having a more difficult time scheduling games with my friends has really forced me to consider that time put aside to be special. It’s a big investment these days.

    Anyway, Noah, I think you went above and beyond the call of duty in being as polite as you were, and I applaud your diplomacy. I think we gamers often tend to fall into Geek Social Fallacies when dealing with people who seem to have no concept of acceptable public behavior and as a result often end up playing the victim, either for the sake of having a game to play in or simply wanting to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation. Getting out of that game for good was probably the best course of action.

  • Devin Parker

    (Sorry, this original post was supposed to be a reply further down the comment line.)

  • Angela kielian

    I saw “the importance of pants” and thought this would be something perverted. and I was a tad disappointed until the end where I felt I was being lectured by the headmaster. Not often that happens in a video from the spoony one. always a pleasure to watch a video of his. its like a box of chocolate. Thanks for killing time for me before my next class starts. people are always interesting arent they?

  • Meagan Deming

    Here’s a story of one of the crazies I had to deal with: Back in the dark days of gaming, when girls were rare, I went to play a sample game at the local gaming shop. One guy there was this totally skeezy mother fucker, who was just relentlessly hitting on my character because I’d not realized yet they I should always roll a male character when playing with strangers. I dunno, it just defuses that situation of “I’m not hitting on you! It’s MY character hitting on YOUR character!” Also, I was about fifteen at the time and he was in his 40s. So, yeah, fucking creepy, and the DM was getting really uncomfortable and constantly telling him to lay off but he just kept going, “But it’s what my CHARACTER would do!” And I shit you not, “Her character isn’t underage, what’s your problem?” I’m seriously thinking about just quitting, but I really wanted to play, so I just tried to ignore him. So, our party is settling down for camp at night and he immediately says, “I sneak into Meagan’s character’s sleeping bag and cuddle up with her!” And everyone just stares at him. I come back with, “I knee him square in the balls.” And the DM goes, “Okay, roll to hit.” Natural 20 crit. The whole table goes “OOOOOH!” And winces. I roll for damage, I think on a six sided dice, and got the max. Another “OH SHIT!” from the table. The DM says that I permanently damage his junk and he’s impotent now and probably infertile, and he’s too injured to continue the campaign and kicks him out of the game. I hope he learned his lesson.

    • Jovan Stipic

      the importance of wearing plate

    • Andrew Hussey

      That was your DM coming to the resue for you…trust me dear, most of us don’t have that approach at all…particularly with manipulator-type characters who can bluff or dimplomacy like a high Charisma female Bard…obviously said Bard is going to be attractive beyond comprehension and can manipulate as easy as taking a piss. Most male/girl groups I’ve played treat this as a benefit, it gives a whole other level of power to asking “hey *girl bard* go see if that guy can help you find your lost dog” or some other silly bluff a guy would NEVER get away with. Most would see the character and droll over the possibilities in gameplay because let’s face it, a male bard bluffing a male guard is going to be able to do it, but they lack the…er…”assets” women have with guys (the fact that most of us turn into blubbering simpletons the moment they even talk to them). It would sometimes warrant a thow bonus on the check if they put the clothes, her presentation and all into thought. USE the character for what they’ve got, don’t ABuse the character ones self “cuz dey b smokin'”.

      I’ve seen women in these hold over rooms of guards by getting on a table in the eating room and dancing while everyone sneaks in behind, simply because they show a bit of leg. Set up the watchers, draw some attention from the tank and suddenly you have your throwing knives out striking down four or five guys before they’d concieve the pretty youg thing could have done this. Male bards can do this, but honestly, how many words will a scantily clad 140 pound Bard-male get out before jeers and bottles are being thrown? You better have one hell of a convincing oratory to fall back on or you’re at risk.

      This isn’t sexism by any means, any woman who is pretty knows the power they hold over guys in general, add the Bardic bluff or diplomacy thing and you can almost convince these guys they should actively help you out let alone leave you alone. That’s power on every degree as strong as the Tank’s strength check. You want to infiltrate the local crime syndicates held strip club to watch the owner, you think some hairy dude is going to get his ass on that stage? No, a gorgeous woman? No problem whatsoever…so long as they’re chaotic this wouldn’t be any issue. I’ve even seen “good” guards pause for a minute (only a short one if they’re lawful good) just by a well placed suggestion “hey, we should visit that bush over there, this skirt seems to be chafing me and it hard to get off without help. Their gender and attractiveness is nothing but a help in doing these things without having to hold attention long enough to make a speech for a male to pull a bluff or diplomacy…*shrug*. This goes to Spoonies mention of “Knowing how people think” and “why” knowledge. Many, many a time has an attractive elven maiden saved my ass by distracting a guard, maneuvering them in range of my cell where I could strangle the dude by just offering a kiss, not even going through with it, but just seeding confusion enough that they need a step back to think things through.

      You start playing like this goof and you’re alienating a fundamentally powerful addition to the party…the DM saw this and stepped in to help keep a great benefit to the team. I’m sure the opposite could work with male bards, but there seem less female guardsmen and such in a lot of cities…good call for you and him…this kind of player, NOT worth the time…

      I suppose though, if it’s Tempus Thales with acid in his face, trying to convince him to be distracted by a hot woman wouldn’t work as well…and I HIGHLY doubt the Lady of Pain would be affected this way at all…but that’s true of pretty well everything.

      • Zefram Mann

        If I was a DM and someone tried that crap I’d have at least one of the guards openly laugh in their face and tell them to maybe try again with the strapping young man she came in with, or have a whole group of elite guards be eunuchs, or even have the guard turn out out be a woman under all that armor.
        Assuming all the guards would automatically be not only heterosexual, but stupid enough to fall for that trick (when in reality they probably have people trying it on them every week or so), says a lot more about the player (and the DM who lets them get away with it) than anything else.

        • Rakkrakk

          Funny. I’ve just started writing up a medieval-middle-eastern-ish setting where being a eunuch is a requirement for all higher ranking guardsmen and all guardsmen working in the dungeons.

        • Justin Wayne

          I dunno, you might be surprised how may female friends I’ve had who’ve actually got out of trouble with police officers by being or acting flustered and scared. You’d think they’d be less sensitive about it with how often they see it but apparently not.

          (mind you, I guess that is a little more subtle than outright flirting with them)

  • Artwood

    I think the lesson to be learned here is know what you’re dealing with when you game with a guy who forgets his pants.

  • Firestonex

    To be honest, when I was in 8th grade, I forgot my pants. Got right on the school bus and went to school without my pants… I was wearing my pajamas….

    So ya…. I can’t say anything.

  • Topher Glenn

    Ah, this story makes me kind of miss living in Arizona…and I mean that in a sarcastic way. This kind of story doesn’t surprise me, coming from the land of Joe Arpio. 

  • F-USA


    I’m kidding Spoony don’t ban me bro.

  • OgdruJahad

    “I forgot my pants” is like a half-arsed excuse I’d come up with when I’m hung-over and need to buy some time to get the strange guy that I’d picked up the night before out of my house.

  • Zedith Starr

    Oh god, the ignorance…!

    Admittedly, there has been at least once or twice where I almost forgot my pants because my mind was so pre-occupied that I skipped my pants and went straight to my shoes. I noticed before leaving the house, however. :3

    And rabid yaoi fangirls need to learn how develop gay male characters with tact and a sense of realism and respect not treat them as an excuse to go completely nuts and indulge in extreme wish-fulfillment. >.<'

    • 13secondspastmidnight

      Anime fan here. No self-respecting yaoi fangirl or yuri fanboy would adhere to gay stereotypes. Only people who see the people they are imitating as actually less than them would engage in such stereotypes because like you said, wish-fulfillment, right =P? No wish-fulfillment has anything like that in it unless you’re actually ATTRACTED to that type of behaviour.

      However, if anyone ever found out her name, I DO know some yaoi fangirls who’d like to skin her alive, if that helps.

      • Zedith Starr

        Heh, there’s a reason why I specified “rabid yaoi fangirls” as opposed to all of ‘em. ;) I know many yaoi fans are sensible, but I’ve definitely met and seen a fair share of rabid ones over the years.

  • Edmund Christopher Scrivens

    Although I’m rather startled by any sort of gamer holding such viewpoints, as was said, it’s her freedom to think thusly. I leave it at this: Spoony is right, all other viewpoints are invalid. My mind is still turning over how the Hell you manage to get out of your house, to your car, unlock it, get in, back out and drive for a certain period of time before realising you’re not wearing any trousers/jeans/pants/legwear of any kind. 

  • kallikanzarid

    Strange, all I can think of now is “Gay, gay, sissy gay, buttsex, astroclyde, glory hole, baaaaaaaaaaaaals” :)

  • Hillary Katch

    I totally know what you are talking about in terms of playing in character…at least I find I get a lot more out of game when the conversations etc, are in character (including the random meta jokes).  The best Dms that I have found have been those who can keep people in character and on track thanks to their story telling. 

  • Will Harper

    Your fiend remind me of me.  I do the asking thing to.  It how I know more about the person and get an idea of what is the best interaction with the person or if I should.  I start off shy but then when I see an opportunity to ask questions and pull more out of the person I take it.

  • mwong04

    …Wow. I live outside the states. I’m a guy who grew up in Hong Kong with western views about the world but studying in Australia currently. Talking about people behind their backs is immoral and pathetic. 

    • Matt Browning


  • Jessica Marie

     I can’t remember if I said this before, but I remember the first and only time I ever played D&D with my ex and his friends, not five minutes into playing the game, it completely went off track with everyone making jokes, trying to get the others to laugh which was great for me because I had never played D&D before so I had no idea what to do.

    I have to say Spoony, that friend of yours that makes the off-colored comments as a joke sounds much like me. I’m definitely known for making certain kinds of jokes or comments, and luckily all my friends know I’m kidding. But I was surprised by that story of “Gary’s” girlfriend because I thought you would have said the friend that was getting her to talk, was doing it just so she could have gotten in trouble with Dominic(sp?).

    As for the, “I forgot my pants” excuse…while my mind can’t process how that’s possible, I’m just going to have to work that into my daily vocabulary just to throw people off. >:D

  • Jake Parish


  • Malcomb Bell

    Oh my god you’re an asshole! I heard “he forgot his pants…” and haven’t stopped laughing since! God my chest hurts man you should’ve given people a second to process that before you said it 2 more times! XD

  • dom perignon

    I was going to watch the next story but i forgot my pants

  • DavidJohn Oberhofer

    I really know what you’re talking about when you want to keep things serious. My very first game, we fucked around way too much, we were there for about 3 hours, and the story barely progressed, at that time I thought nothing of it, however since I’ve started getting more serious into gaming, and DMing my own game with a group of friends I’ve found it absolutely frustrating when my players are acting like jackasses. One thing I’ve learned with this group is that because of the way a few of them are I almost NEED to set them on a narrow path, and NEED to force them to their next objective, otherwise we go nowhere. 

    Prime example, this was after I’d had enough already, my one friend decided he was going to stay behind a little from the group and screw around with the head monk at a monastery. In this time, because of a nat 20, and high religion and charisma scores, he converted a monk, for no good reason, and then instead of walking down the stairs he decided to slide down them. Between my frustration, and a few good roles, he ended up falling down the stairs, and losing half of his hp, just like that. That smartened him up a little, but I still find him being an idiot… Just being a bit more cautious about it. 

    I am really hoping that between your videos, and a little experience I’ll get a bit better at being DM, and my friends can smarten up a bit.

  • Xioptocl

    Speaking of crazy, I’ve got a bad one. Needing players to bolster a campaign, I found a new player who came recommended by a second group as an experienced player. Needless to say, I was in for a surprise later. At first he seemed fine, well kept, not socially awkward, always perfectly well in character. Seemed like the holy grail of ‘new’ players. However, it soon became apparent that he was a bit of a spotlight stealer, and he started to sap the fun from the others. I attribute part of this to the fact that he was the only one being very proactive at the time, which was part of the reason for getting another player, so I let that slide.

    However after a late game at my apartment, he started talking about a campaign concept that he ran in World of Darkness. We were interested at first, but things turned from a normal, if long, talk of campaigns, to something much darker. The hour long diatribe of a campaign concept quickly spiraled downhill into a psychopathic raving about himself as a reincarnated angel and sermonizing us with half formed sentences that only got louder and more disorganized as the next hour bled on and left us long behind until he finally broke down outright. A short time after that he stitched himself together and left as if nothing was wrong, leaving my friends and I chilled to the core that we had invited someone that batshit crazy not only into the group, but my home. After that day, I spilled the beans on that to the other group, and they were of course shocked speechless, and shortly thereafter he wound up dropped from theirs from a similar, if milder, psychotic incident. Since then, however, I must admit I never frequent places I know the man goes and it was a mountain of relief when I moved.

    Damnedest thing is, aside from the whole raving lunatic side, he was one of the best and most talented players I had ever had.

  • Bruce Kilkowski

    The whole replacement character thing sounds like the later seasons of the X-Files. Not saying that Dogget wasn’t awesome, though.

  • Mickaël Fournier

    It reminds me a kind of roleplayer. Like this woman, he was disturbing as a roleplayer and in real life. He roleplayed a catholic priest in a nWoD session. That priest was a total pervert, the kind of sexual deviant you could only see in Law and Order SVU. Like the “gay character” in the video, he was a groper (he groped an innocent woman who passed out when we announced her the death of her child… Charming), but he was a rapist too.

    The player loved sick, bad and dark things like that. As a player, I love playing with morality and struggles with my vices and temptations, all that sort of things… But others think that a good nWoD game must have total psychos. So, we had two characters like that : our rapist and a cannibal, murderer and sadistic nymphomaniac young woman (yes, all in one character).

    Let’s go back to the first (the girl is… so surpringly… DM’s girlfriend ! However, she was not his girlfriend at the beginning of the campaign) : so he roleplayed a priest like that. Oh, and he expressed his hatred of chritianity too. I have no problems with anti-christian views. I was raised christian, but I probably was never truly a believer and I’m more an atheist or a bouddhist now. The problem is : that wasn’t anticlericalism or atheism ; he is religious, but he hates christianism because he follows another path and thinks “the new testament” should be burned.

    Every one can play what he wants, but that kind of character disturbs me and more if the player expresses political and religious views which follow the same path during sessions. Yes, of course, I’m an atheist, but I love studying religions and find some things good and sympathetic, so even if I don’t believe, I’m tolerant if people aren’t fanatics or proselytes. I just dislike the “your religion is bad ; mine is the best” thing.

    It was not the worst for me. He had a special kind of humor and loved insisting on things like that famous rape scene (fortunately, I wasn’t in that session because it was played without some players ; it wasn’t even a planned one and all that things were partly played out of character and in roleplay). So a year and half after that…thing. He loved to say “hey, it was not rape, she was willing” while laughing (because his character used mental powers to restrain her).

    I find that definitely terrible and so I left… It was, by far, my worst table.

  • 13secondspastmidnight

    *whimper*. That was a damn scary story. If someone had started talking to me like that in a nearly empty room I’d have backed out very slowly and not come back.

    Now, to discuss the existential human invent of the concept of race, it’s- I’M KIDDING (don’t ban me)… (Honestly, how many times have people pulled a variation of that in this thread, huh? Though seriously, please don’t ban me)

    I’ve forgotten my pants before. However, I was on oxycodone and on the way to the hospital, so I think I can be forgiven. That said, I forgot my pants at the hospital again when they moved me from the ED, so maybe not. 

  • mark swearingen

    the worst players I ever had was an authistic guy who was obsessed with “sharpening his blades” and “improving his combat stances” and would never do anything but that. Everytime it was his turn he would do one thing and one thing only. Attack with whatever weapon he was carrying, even if he was playing a wizard his character would just walk up and start wailing on whatever creature (or NPC) and when the battle was over, he would go back and sharpen his blade and “work on his combat stances” so basically the plot had to move around him because he never took iniative…….at all….ever. Even if his entire party was captured by the legion of Hextor and he was the only one left who could save them and even though I pretty much told him to “sneak in” or something, his character regardless of anything would just walk right up to the front gates and attack the nearest soldier. If you didnt tell him what to do, his character would never stop sharpening his blade and honing his sklls.

  • Roguekin Project

    I’m not going to endorse that you be aggressive or get flippant and pissed off at people like this, but I applaud your patience with this woman. Were I in that situation, I dunno, I probably would have started yelling very fast. Probably would have gotten thrown out before I left of my own accord.

  • TheToucanGuy

    I would probably have stopped playing with the guy if he forgot his pants.

  • Maudawg

    I hate DMs like that with a a passion. I would tell “Gary” were to go and what he could stick and where he could stick it. I’d spend time at the game shop just to warn other players what a party killing chode his was.

  • Maudawg

    I’ve gamed with people like that,real mood killer. There have been when player have said things I ‘agree’ with that have made me cringe. During a session is not the time for those topics to come up.

  • Mushtaq xan

    I’m pretty sure “Racist Girlfriend” Would have been a more attracting Title XD

  • Daniel Gilfillan

    Wait a second… these aren’t the people in the Battlestar Galactica video are they?

  • spade75

    Sounds like the rocks.

  • Foxi Qnet

    Don’t you think that perhaps he did wear pants, he just wore the wrong pair, the pair in which he didn’t have his wallet thus he went back home to collect it?

    It’s just something dumb you say when you’re not thinking – you know your wallet is in your pants and you want that wallet, but somehow, for whatever reason, your brain tells you that you “forgot your (other pair is implied) pants”. :P

  • Elise Simon

    It reminds me of my old boss who would come into work and tell me that he spent the whole weekend cleaning and gaming in nothing but his boxers. And I asked him…”What is your aversion to pants?” I totally support Homer Simpsons no pants day I am part of the group on facebook and I wear a skirt every time “No Pants Day” comes around. But to spend a whole weekend in just boxers….I wonder 1. why are you sharing this with your personal assistant, do you want me to go buy you pants and just can’t say it? And 2. God, oh please God I hope that he changed his boxers.

  • Daniel Thomas Stack

    Two dollar bills are normal, they exist and are part of the regular sequence following a pattern of 1, 2, 5. Its easier to see in 10,20,50, 100, 200, 500. But I do have a $3 with my mom’s picture on it we made for fun.

    No, Law Breaking Mexicans, “flooding the job market” isn’t so much about them crossing the border (yes that is how the law gets broken) its people like Ronald Reagan granting Amnesty recently repeated by Barack Obama only going one further saying immigration laws will not be enforced and having a “Minimum Wage” that makes it so unskilled workers are too costly for companies. And illegals become easier to have on the payroll to avoid the tax aspects and other federally mandated benefits.

    • Jim Thorpe

      lol at the idea of your ignorance correcting someone else’s ignorance

      • Daniel Thomas Stack

        So you think people are discouraged from breaking laws by them not being enforced? You didn’t say enough for me to be sure what you were getting at.
        BTW here is a $2 from my collection. http: // img850. imageshack. us/ img850/ 8317/ 2front.png and spaced out just in case the comment removes the link.

    • Zefram Mann

      You just had to bring up politics, didn’t you?

  • Thomas Moore

    I’ve recently started DMing a campaign with a bunch of workmates. What makes it interesting is I am also writing the campaign, setting and even some of the rules to fit the game. It looks like fun on paper, but the more of these I watch, the better my ideas are getting, so thanks Spoony.

    On another, slightly related note; you mentioned that you were playing about 1-2 sessions a week? Holy shit! I’m lucky if I can get a group together for a session about once a month! Our sessions do go for about 5-8 hours though…

  • IHeart28

    Fantastic video Spoony! Really interesting.
    On the subject of Gary, I’d totally get why’d you want things to go the course per se, I’m pretty much like that myself. I hate it when people arrive late, I get impatient and annoyed quite easily. I’m pretty much a perfectionist so I want things to run smoothly. Oh and I’m actually impressed of how patient you were with him, letting him do the same routine for a month, I’d stop at a week. Also, as akward as it is, I thought I would never live to hear you mention that a DnD player forgot his pants! XD

    On Gary’s wife I’m sorry but as a person who has a friend who’s hispanic, I’d punch her. In the throat. And call her a bigoted bitch. I’m sorry, I despise the fact people assume a person of a certain race or sexuality or gender, that they are a problem to the world because of it. I really have little patience for those type of people.
    However, I really respect and understand how uncomfortable it was for you. Pat yourself on the back, Spoony, you’re far more respectful and patient then I’ll ever be.

  • Jegsimmons

    I understand racism and xenophobia in certain aspect, like how some people dont feel comfortable around certain groups of a race due to experience or people dont like illegal immigrants for various reason (like how they believe they bring crime or run down economies ect) thats somewhat understandable to various degrees, depending on the person and context. hell everyone has a prejudice of some group.
    But she didnt even no this guy and was so fucking open about it, that it was just pure bigotry.
    that was foolish behavior, especially with people she just met.
    again, its fine to have those viewpoints, but keep them to yourself and the right company.

  • Thomas Atchley

    >you know that’s why “Gary” can’t get a job right?

    …Did she not know your friend was on disability and working out of the home…despite living in the same house?

    Stupid ass.

    • Ian Arnold

      Or can he not get a job because he’s always late and/or pantless?

  • NeonBlueShadow

    I’ve been trying to watch the rest of your videos, and this one takes the cake in regards to being fukken hilarious. First the no pants moment, and then the holy shit occasion with his wife or gf, whatever she was. Just goes to show you that there’s all sorts of people in the gaming/tabletop community and every one has one quirk or another.

  • josh martyn

    //////Ha bigot Role-players there the first gamers to die in game.//////

  • Chuster M. Merino

    This reminded me of that short-comic of Dork Tower… Igor with a character without clothes attacking a whole legion of Orcs.

  • Taylor William Hardy

    I’ve got to say people are really wierd about racism where I’m from. pretty much everyone makes racist jokes but they’re all meant in good fun and everyone knows that. but if someone starts going off and being racist for real everyone and I mean everyone is immedeately your enemy. I don’t know how else I could describe it.

  • Ben Smooker

    I find myself wondering if the guy remembered his shoes.

    If he did, how did he managed to put shoes and socks on without noticing his bare legs?
    And if not…how did he drive all that way, not to mention walk to the car, without noticing his bare feet?

    • Xandermorph

      I was thinking maybe he was wearing boxers and was so drowsy (I’m presuming he was asleep) that he assumed he was wearing shorts and didn’t notice what they really were until he tried to reach for a pocket

  • Bobby Ladd

    I think what it amounts to is that Princess Daisy may have been the reason he was all ways late to games. And probably the reason she played a Raging Homosexual pc and made those comments was to ruin his game at home. She probably did not like his gaming lifestyle.

  • Concray

    Back in the day, when I was in high-school, I went to a small school, barely four hundred students in a small comunity in the countryside (I’m Swedish, by the way). AS you can imagine, there weren’t that many roleplayers, but we would play during school hours at the botom of a staircase. There were the fantasy nerds, the guys who hadn’t gotten over fairytales, and strangely rnough, the crazy people. The guys who everyone pretty much feared, the skinheads, the guys who everyone “knew” were actually junkies, the guys who started fights, and actually won. I never really figured out why they would play with us, but as far as bullying went, everyone was to freaked out by them to actually do anything to us while playing.
    Don’t really know where I’m going with this. I should stop.

  • Maria White

    I got a good story, its not about D&D but it is about racism. Not going into any particulars, this is just a funny story.

    Okay, my uncle isn’t a Nazi, but he is a racist, and a anti-Semite. I’m not going to tell you what religion he belongs to, but lets just say that it goes against what my father believes. ((This is the man my mom’s sister married.)) So once while I was really young my uncle felt as though that my father would lend a sympathetic ear to his ways. Since that is what family is ‘for’ he must have guessed. But the thing is, my father is basically a twelve year old.

    So after he ranted about the Blacks, it wasn’t long until my cousins birthday came up. Now I need to say something else as well, my uncle never gave my cousin anything remotely human-like as a toy, because he was afraid giving her a barbie would turn her gay.

    So… what my dad did, was buy a black barbie for my cousin. It was a one to punch and I can just imagine the look of pure utter rage on my uncles face, and him just grabbing the barbie and throwing it into a grill and burning it, as well as ruining his grill. ((I remember him making a huge fuss at the time about having to buy a new grill.)) So that is mainly why you never rant about anything to my father, especially if you are a racist and have kids. Cause once their birthdays roll around he is going to buy something for them that basically proves what an asshole you are. Just take a guess who raised me to be the same way? Believe me, once his children start pumping out babies the ONLY toys I’m buying for the kids are ‘black’ toys. Just to prove to his children and EVERYONE what an asshole he is.

  • Zipper Dragon

    Ok, my new dm is freaking awsome. He sets up his mods so that if you have a really bad roll, you can do better than if you crit. Case & point. Me ex is a ranger. She fired her bow at these gaurds surrounding a wizard we were supposed to kill, but out plan was to kill his gaurds, then 1 on 6 his ass. She rolls a 1.
    Steph: FUCK! There goes our suprize attack.
    DM: You miss the gaurd, & headshot the wizard standing behind him. The wizard is killed instantly.
    Me: O.O -hugs DM- I love you man!!!

    • Xandermorph

      That’s a DM with a good sense of humor.. it’s the last thing you were expecting to happen, so it keeps the players engaged. Pretty effective :)

      • Zipper Dragon

        That’s nothing. You know how Spoony mentioned in the Tempas thales story that you can lk at it, realisticly, or in game? I one shot a dragon with acid! wing shot, melted through it’s wing, Dragon flies right into a spiked barrier (Idk what the propper name is) Spikes fucking squewer that S.O.B. & kill it….Okay yeah, he botched it, bu he’s nice too.

  • Zipper Dragon

    “…I wasn’t fond of the guy, but I didn’t hate him.”
    Of course you didn’t spoony, (Here it comes) You’re not that kind of theif.

  • Xandermorph

    I have an uncle who runs on that kind of time – like if we’re having Thanksgiving or Easter or whatever, if we want him to be there at 1 we tell him to come at 11:30.
    Although, since he got married that’s changed significantly XD

  • Mat Palma

    rabble rabble rabble

  • Daniel Tilson

    I really do wonder what twisted thought process goes into forgetting to put pants on…

    I’ve forgotten pencils, dice, books, and even character sheets. But I’ve never ever forgotten clothing.

    • CrotaroLP

      Well I don’t wanna say I forgot my pants so far(although I had a nightmare about appearing in school without pants one or two times^^), but my mind sometimes is so occupied with so many stuff going around that I check on myself, right after leaving the house, to make sure I got every piece of clothing on I intended to wear…as I said, luckily I’ve never failed at this yet :D

      • Sigil

        I once forgot pants. I was in the third grade, and we lived in South Dakota. During Winter, snow pants (think a winter coat for your legs) were pretty much normal attire. One day I put on thermal underwear (leggings under your normal pants to help keep you warm), then I put on the snow pants, and completely forgot the regular pants.

        I spent the entire day at school terrified that this would be one of those days that they made us take off our snow pants.

        • CrotaroLP

          Well, it was pretty great then that you weren’t forced to take off the snow pants^^

  • Alan Rizkallah

    I feel like I’d be like your friend at the table that kept the wife talking just to hear what else she’s got swirling around in her head, but I have a terrible poker face so I would fail my real life charisma check, as it were.

  • orison squirrel

    to annoying opening it up.. whats it about?

    • Daniel Tilson

      Obviously, it’s about how important it is to wear pants! ^_^

  • Rakkrakk

    There are two lessons in this:
    1) Always wear pants in public and check if you’ve got everything so you can leave to arrive on time.
    2) Don’t talk politics in a D&D game or group. Just don’t.

    • wizzbang

      Or religion. Unless it’s the in-game religions. I’m a professor of religious studies and I still have to keep my trap shut.

      • Rakkrakk

        I am aiming to get a major in philosophy and it’s already hard to shut up. ‘_’

    • thatpandabitca

      You’re absolutely right.

  • thatpandabitca

    You have every right to walk alway from something that makes you uncomfortable.

  • Film Runner

    As a gay man, I would have demanded that either that woman’s character go or I would.

    • Daniel Tilson

      I would have asked nicely one time. And then same thing. New character or I’m out. I’m gay, and I’ve played gay characters. None of my characters have ever been even half as sexually motivated as that one she had. Not even the one in the campaign inspired by “The Book of Erotic Fantasy” (which is actually a fascinating book)

  • CheezeFox

    You do certainly meet interesting people playing RPGs.

    The last iteration of our group before I finally called it quits consisted of a DM with a very Christian worldview that would NOT be challenged, his black roommate who took shit too seriously, his deadbeat kid with no future, an asshole with no filter between his brain and his mouth, a man who loved snapping the necks of emus as a kid, and, the misfit of the group, a happily-married father leading an otherwise completely normal life.

    …Then there was me, but if I took the time to explain everything wrong with me, I’d be here all night.

  • JNJefferyDesign

    I actually had to skip a session of Pathfinder the other day because I did not have pants. But I’m a girl, and I can explain that away by saying I had a skirt on, and it would take too long to go home, change, and then go to the game. I did not want to arrive late, I agree with Spoony that nothing is more rude than arriving late to a gaming session.

    • Daniel Tilson

      You could have showed up in a skirt.

      But if I were you, I’d put emergency pants into my gaming bag so I wouldn’t have to skip if I were that self conscious about it. Show up, use bathroom, put on pants, play the game. ^_^

  • MisterMars

    …well. I disagree with the racist woman, but I do have to note that appearance can sometimes have very little to do with how you look, she may not have been an idiot there.
    My best friend has tan skin, black, wiry hair, and narrow brown eyes – he has, on occasion, been mistaken for a Mexican/Dominican/what have you.
    His ancestors moved to America from the same region mine did: Germany and Poland. I think he has a little Norwegian in there, too. Appearance can sometimes deceive, particularly with someone who was already biased.

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