Counter Monkey – Vampire: Spoony’s Jyhad

The Spoony One | Nov 6 2011 | more notation(s) | 

A tale of a very bad Vampire LARP and why Spoony is not a player to be lightly fucked with if you don’t want your campaign completely demolished.

  • Barry

    It’s Jihad, not Jyhad.

    • Darren Griffiths

      Google it, it means eternal struggle.

      • Aquila

        In this case, it might also be a double-meaning.

        Spoony’s eternal struggle/him shooting himself in the foot when it comes to LARPs.

        • Zack Miller

          Jyhad is intentionally misspelled. that was the name of the White Wolf Vampire card game ;)

    • doresh

      It’s artsy to misspell words. That’s why some games use the term “magick”

  • Russ Willis

    I don’t give a damn if it’s Jello or Cool whip, I’m just waiting for the video to be accessible.

  • Papa Bungle

    Just started up the video.  I’ve never played Role Playing, but after playing Vampire the Masquerade:  Bloodlines, I’ve really wanted to try it out.  I really liked the game and its setting.  Looking forward listening to the rest of the Counter Monkey episode. 

  • Zack Miller

    By the way, they did expand on the covenants quite a bit since the original book. The Carthians are..essentially the old camarilla and the Lancea sanctum carries a few themes back from the old Sabbat without the low rank shovelheads. The Ordo Dracul actually now have more in common with Golconda in OwoD than anything else.

    Of course I loved the old world and I can understand why spoony doesnt like Requiem, however I always liked requiem because it felt like since it was a much more open story than Masquereade it really gave you a chance to build something unique and focus on your character’s humanity than having to deal with the politics of the overarching plot

  • Paul Atwater

    Damn Spoony be ice cold

  • Lazar Gruev

    Spoony is like “UMAD vampires?”

  • Janne Partanen

    Heheh! Epic! We once played Cyper Punk and this Hakker player used my character as a bullet shield, and it almost killed me. Well after a week in hospital i payed a huge man prostitute to rape the Hakkers character..he didint play us after that..

  • Okanehira


    Revenge always makes the best stories. Best one yet!

  • Thomas Osborne

    Ye gods, Spoony, I think you have this well and truly wrong.
    Vampire has -never- had any clear-cut “good guys”, not even in the days of Masquerade. If you really thought the Camarilla were good, go re-read the little fiction thing that opens VtM: Revised Edition.

    As for the stuff on Humanity and Path-whoring… Paths don’t exist anymore in Requiem unless your GM brings out the conversion book White Wolf did a year or so back. There is no alternative to trying to keep your humanity anymore, so any Sabbat (the “bad guys” of Masquerade)-style “hurrr let’s kill everyone so we can prove how monstrous we are!” shit will have you losing your mind faster than me devouring a plateful of cookies. Assuming monster hunters or other vampires out to whack you to keep their existence secret don’t get you before you go completely batshitzania, that is.

    I love you to bits, Spoon, but I love Vampire way too much too. Sorry if this is a bit too rambly or if it comes off like a steaming lump of horse dung, but hey, it’s something I felt I had to say.

  • Cody Meyer

    I believe they call it an “Elysium” … and this is me reading off of what I’ve seen in the Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines games I pulled off of Steam..

    I should just go back and play the original Vampire: The Masquerade game. But still, I started out with a Nosferatu, and then got pissed because NPC’s kept running from me (I should have used Obfuscate in the hubs), and then went with an Gangrel.

  • Liam Brokas

    @Barry In terms of the Vampire games, it’s Jyhad. It’s essentially the code that all Vampires live by. The politics, interrelationships between clans, the overal goals of the Vampire nation throughout the ages. At least that’s what I got out of it.

    Also, Spoony, that was an awesome “fuck you” to the people running the
    LARP. Vampire is about deception, and you decieved them all extremely
    well. Their reaction was piss poor in regards to their double standards,
    when in reality, you did exactly what the limits of the game outlined. I
    would have given you a high five for being crafty (pun not intended)
    enough to pull the eyes over what were likely seasoned players.

  • Anonymous

    the DM should have cleared it, would have made for a very easy restart and would have cleaned all the bull shit.  

  • Miika Aarnio

    GJ herr Spoonyone those fucktards deserved to die!!!

  • Anonymous

    All I gotta say is…BOOM BITCHES.

  • Anonymous

    the DM should have cleared it just because it was bad ass. I’d love to know if he ever told the prince that the new guy had just walked in and decimated his silly kingdom and that they might want to change how they treat people or at the very least security 

    • Michael Wells

      True but it would have sucked to be the Newbie in that scene though. Just made a character and got blown up. Unless he let the guy leave first.

      • Alexandria White

        I’m pretty sure Spoony told the new character to leave fast after they met with the Prince.

  • emilj

    That Dm should have gone through with what you did, even though it would have pissed a lot of people off but at least next time they would search everyone who goes inside.

    I’ve done the same when i was rp-ing with my friends, my character had connections to get military grade explosives and i made a suitcase bomb that looked like any other suitcase even if you had opened it there would have been stacks of papers and other stuff on top of the fake bottom where the bomb was. I was playing the only “good” guy and all of my friends were part of a faction that just slaughtered anyone who was stronger than a normal human or was part of a different faction.
    So i contacted one of them in-game and told them that i had a treaty for our factions so they send a messenger that was my friend to take my message to them and i gave that suitcase for him showing some papers and money to him telling him to take it as fast as he can to the leader of their base.

    My friend takes it to there and when he went to the bathroom i quickly gave a sticky that i had wrote earlier that i’m going to follow him stealthily and when he goes to his headquarters 30 seconds from that point i will detonate the bomb with from outside of the building.

    It was glorious they were so pissed at me that they made a characters specifically to hunt me down . 

  • Anonymous

    I just joined my first Vampire game (the Pen&Paper kind) and as far as I understand it the Humanity thing is still big but all old vampires tend to have lost most of their humanity and since they lead their respective groups none of those has strictly good intentions. 
    And the Langea Sancta doesn’t condone merciless killing because a) the masquerade should be upheld so no killing humans and b) they see themselves as god’s punishers so they target only sinful humans trying to put them on the right path through fear.

  • Mack King

    THIS is why i dont fucking roleplay. cause some ASSHOLE Dungeon Master allows the (PRINCE) to be a tyrant dick, but when you OUTSMART that tyrant dick, (I WONT ALLOW THIS) then WHY IS IT IN THE BOOK. oh its all perfectly fine when they are pushing YOU around, but when you outsmart him and all his friends then its suddenly not fair? fuck them. people are fuckin assholes, you had every right to be a dick. and you know what? its groups like that group that dwindle down into nothing cause there is never any new blood. why would anyone join a shit-fest like that?

    • Anonymous

      In other words, classic dehumanisation tactics: Formulate rules that are deliberately discriminative against a specific person, then when that person finds a way around them, change the rules or veto his approach. That’s one reason why I feel roleplaying in the traditional sense is best done cooperatively.

      That, and it’s no fun playing an extra in someone else’s game. I’m not sure how hardcore one would have to be to continually show up at games so as to be humiliated and pissed on, but it has to be pretty hardcore. And masochistic.

  • Anonymous

    bravo spoony bravo

  • MindOST

    See, I would have stuck with it and pulled every newbie aside, telling them to play it cool or they’ll be tortured and brainwashed.

    Then you could have started a new secret faction and taken down the Prince in a more “acceptable” way.

  • Bethany Hoyt

    I think your response was totally warranted. Obviously you can’t play with people who are just going to go “Yeah, you’re not playing THAT kind of character, you’re playing OUR kind of character.” On pain of character torture and death. And they used a blow torch on your character. Not cool. I mean, the adult thing to do would have been “Well, sorry guys, but I’m not gonna play.” But the adult thing to do would have been to warn you that rolling certain characters was basically against the group’s house rules.

  • Paul Stein

    If I was the Narrator, I would let you do it. You just had a bad Narrator. Hope you find a good one. :P

  • Moritz

    *rofl* I wish I could have been there. That sounds so fun!

  • dism

    I have to say, back in College, I played V:TR for 4 years (we did a new LARP each year). And I would say that you can definitely play “good guys”. I should know, I did, since I’m almost incapable of escaping my teddy bear-like nature. In fact, we had a year where romance and family was one of the themes running through it. Really, as I see it, with Vampires, you can still basically be good people, but as a vampire, you accept that you have to do some less than moral things, like sometimes you have to kill someone, or break into a place. You feel bad, but it needed to be done. I feel bad for you if all the people you played with felt they all needed to be evil-as-f**k wackadoos. We personally found those people stupid. So, I would definitely say that playing “good guys” in V:TR is not only possible, but actually somewhat easy, if you try. It all depends on the player.

  • Henrik Olsson

    if i where you in that situation i would have walked back in and said “just so you know i just killed you all, you can ignore it but i outsmarted you all”

  • Anonymous

    Oh, that was genius Spoony! Revenge and creating a genuine Vampire hero in one fell swoop.

    It’s interesting that you brought up those points of being a good guy and struggling to maintain your humanity because they’re core concepts of Hunter: The Vigil in New World of Darkness. In that game it’s very easy to become a monster (the usual suspects plus a kill-crazy Slasher) even as you’re fighting the good fight of saving humanity (strokes of the oft-abused Nietzsche quote there). I’ve never got around to actually playing a game so I don’t know how it holds up in practice, but that’s the theory. 

  • Bryan

    I think you told this on LordKats stream once.

    Good story.

  • Moritz

    Btw. even if the guy at the door had done his job, ith that much semtex, you probably could have just played it on one of the walls of the building and they all would have been burried under rubble.
    That might not have killed all of them, since Vampires are tough bastards, but most of them.
    Ofcourse this way it as clear that all of them were dead.

    So they really pissed off the wrong guy there.

  • jake

    Holy shit, I went to bed and woke up with 2 counter monkeys?

    It’s like Christmas came early!

    • Anonymous

      Lucky.  I was just about to Go to bed when he put up the first one, and when I woke up, there was yet another one waiting for me. 

      Although, when I think about it, it’s nice that I got to go to bed after hearing one Monkey Story, and I got another one first thing after waking up. 

  • Anonymous

    Man, what a bunch of assholes.  Instead of telling you to leave the guy should have said, “What can we do to work this out?”

    It seems like every tale of vampire LARPing I’ve heard, the guys running it are just on a power trip.

  • Justin Trumpp

    I now have a much greater deal of respect for you Spoony. I was playing in a oWoD LARP game set int he victorian age. Some Tzimize had developed a poison using a 6th gens blood as the active ingredient. MY character happened to be a Chemist as well. I had purposely given the prince the wrong instructions on how to remake the poison. As the beginning of the next game (which never came around due to other issues), I would have finished the assassination and taken his position. Its fun how quick you can turn a city on its heel with one good move.

  • Justin Yozzo

    that was fantastic. 

    for a dramatic re-play of the last few seconds of this story…  please spend 17 seconds with the link below.  hahaha.

  • Anonymous

    Don’t be a dick or Spoony will blow your shit up

  • Gildedtongue

    Poor Bawwww-ing GM.  Found out the Spoony one isn’t just someone to take that crap lying down.

    I’ve never been much into the overly emo White Wolf saga myself, but I’d totally watch the adventures of a pissed off Carthian taking out Phoenix Vamps.

  • Mario Grueso

    Sweet revenge. It reminds me of that story Harlan Ellison tells in which he mailed a lot of bricks and a dead gopher to an editor.

  • Anonymous

    Reminds me of the helicopter scene in Blade 2, except with more “U mad?”  That’s what RPGs are supposed to be about, unique characters and interesting resolutions.  And explosions.

  • dism

    Having finished the video and actually listened to your story, I must say, those people were dicks. We never played like that where we were. We never had PvP, we always tried to work together, and often, part of our stories were about people from all covenants and factions working together to fix or stop something going seriously wrong. Really, it sounds like the players you were playing with were a**holes. Also, I totally understand playing non-traditional chars. In my favorite of the 4 years, I played an Unaligned Ventrue who lived in the woods with a bear and a parrot (both ghouls). He was kind, romantic, fed only on the unjust, protected women and children, and stood up for mortals if need be. Yet he accepted being a Vampire, he didn’t want to be human, he let go of that 100 years ago. What I’m saying is, in our games, people accepted being Vampires, and the quirks and such that go along with that, and then life went on as normal. There were good vampires, bad vampires, kind ones, asshole ones, poor ones, rich ones, all kinds. It was life, just as Vampire. And to me, I think that is what V:TR is about. I wish you could have played with us Spoony, I think you would have had a much better time.

  • Anonymous

    Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! You are my new Hero, oh Spoony One!

    Had I been the DM I would have rolled with it, but I at least hope the fucker went back in after you left and told everyone what had happened even if he didn’t roll with it, so that they learned a lesson in not being such fuckin’ dicks.

    A dick move for a dick move, yet yours were absolutely ingenious and still fully played by the rules. I take my hat of at you good Sir, and pray for those that end up pissing you off.

    I also agree with your take on Humanity in Wod: Vampire, both the new and old versions. Though those I have played it with have never abused their “vamp” status like that cause it usually would result in them getting offed by the rest; the monsters are usually exposure waiting to happen and one must keep up “The Masquerade”.

  • Simon Jonsson

    *Salutes* I applaud thee sir.

  • Simon Jonsson

    *Salutes* I applaud thee sir.

  • Anonymous

    Long live the Carthian Movement bitches!

    As someone who got totally fucked over because the GM liked to railroad people, I feel your pain, but you know what. Good for you, as far as I’m concerned; all hail Price Spoony of Phoenix, Leader of the Carthian Stronghold of the Pacific South-West.

  • The_Hut

    Two things.  1) I’d love to get a game in with Spoony someday. and 2) note well taken: don’t piss off the vengeful spoony one.

    • Michael Wells

      I wonder if his SWTOR will have RP? Because him as a GM in an Online RP in SW.. would be EPIC!

  • Anonymous

    This is the best story ever!

  • Elizabeth Sterling

    A good GM should be able to take it as much as they dish it out and roll with the punches.

    I am running a game set in the Doctor Who universe at this moment and my players have, in order:
    – Assassinated a major NPC supposedly on their side.
    – Caused another one to have their leg amputated.
    – Fed an innocent to Azathoth.
    – Willingly subverted weeks of plot with some clever counter-moves on about four occasions.
    – Sassed back to what amount to outer gods, three times.
    – Ejected forty allied soldiers in to the vacuum of space unprotected to escape a Dalek hoarde.

    Each time I’ve given a GM’s thousand yard stare, each time I’ve accepted it, enjoyed the strange twists the story has taken and given as good as I’ve gotten. Thus far there have been only two PC deaths too…

    Every single one of these had plot and character justification, every single time I gave them bonus experience for it for the sheer ‘fuck the system’ bravado. Any storyteller who can’t deal with that shit is in the wrong profession.

  • Anonymous

    This reminded me, here’s an account from a guy who became the target of a BLood Hunt:

  • doresh

    If they torture people into becoming one of them, they should’ve really tighten up their security…

    And why is it that there are some many videos about “LIGHTNING BOLT!”, but none about something as awesome as THIS XD ?!

    • stephen

      Agreed. You need to get your friends together and film this complete with the guy flipping the cards over one by one before you level the block.

  • Mark

    Basically; don’t waste your time trying to get into an exciting Vamp. LARP, as it will probably have a bunch of bullshit hidden rules or accepted ways of behaving. 

  • Damienx247

    Now I know the true origin of Dr Insano, you defeated thirty unsuspecting vampires with “Science”!

    • Anonymous

      I find the irresistible urge to paraphrase a Brentalfloss song right now. 

      So Keep Playing Civilization,
      Take Good Care of Your Little Nation,
      Start a War With Lancea Sanctum,
      Spread Your “Equally Valid” Religion!

      Win With Science, Culture, or Napalm,
      Watch Out, Spoony Might Drop The A-Bomb, (Boom, Bitch!)
      You Can Show Your Vampires You Love Them,
      Or Just Beat The Dog Shit Out of Them! 

      Spoony The Carthian wins a Domination Victory!  Also, that song actually fit into this scenario a bit too nicely…oh well.

  • jdreyfuss05

    So why not carry airsoft guns or something? They’re legal to carry and at short range have similar ballistic properties to regular handguns, except for the recoil.

    • Joel

      Would you trust your average guy on the street to know the difference between a realistic toy and an actual gun?  The problem is that people get tragically shot and killed by police over a simple case of misidentification too frequently.

      You’re probably going to say; “but the guns have orange tips.”  Which I’m sure will come out at the misconduct hearing when the cop is facing dismissal for shooting somebody armed with a toy gun.

      Since LARPing tends to happen in public or semi-public places, you’re kind of at the mercy of the perceptions of the people around you.  In my experience, it’s better to not give people too much credit.

      • Anonymous

        I would suggest they use Super Soakers, but after the Shadowrun story in the first Counter Monkey, I realize those may be the most deadly weapon of all. 

        Guess they’ll just have to point their fingers out and go “Bang!”, the ol’ Eddie Izzard method. 

  • stephen

    I delight in the misery of others… I totally would have cleared this. That GM had gotten used to the mundane and just going with the flow of his downright abusive group and should have seen this coming at some point. Also… he passed up a great opportunity for an interesting and fun story. They had no hierarchy… no one to dominate… this was going to be a WILD ride. GM fail.

  • Deanna Jackson

    Well done!

  • Gina Giannetti

    The neutral ground is called Elysium. Awesome video! :)

  • Nima

    Hey brah don’t dis NWOD just cause of Requiem.

  • Anonymous

    All hail the Spoony! I totally call that justified revenge. That DM/GM what ever you want to call it is an unprepared and lazy asshole.

    I only LARPed twice, in one of them I got revenge on the DM when he told me that it’s good to have new players but I’m useless in story so I shouldn’t really aim for big goals.
    I was like okay. I got my five minutes of show time by the way. The prince of the city of Budapest, a stuck up Ventrue got his hands on new technology that basicaly was a UW ray that burned away vampires. After defeating the local sabat leaders and stuff they held a big party in a secret place, that had a LOT of spotlights and a big stage where the prince would hold his speech.
    I asked the DM that can I use my torreador charms to get some stuff I could need. He agreed and I was already thinking on my strike.
    I seduced the prince’s human secretary(a blood doll mostly) and I asked her to make sure that I was the one who had to organise things for the party. So I ordered a LOT of UW ray spotlights and got humans who didn’t know anything about it to deploy them in places I marked. The lights were aimed at the stage and mostly on places I knew where the clan representatives would be.
    I went and told one of the guys that were the chief of security to flip the switch(which was just a note placed upside down) after I leave. He asked why would I want to leave and I said I still have things to do since the refreshments didn’t arrive yet.
    When the guy turned the note, he startled EVERYBODY in the room when he yelled. All of the playes aplauded me, but the DM was about to strangle me.
    I wrote on the note. I still have that note somewhere, but it said something like this:
    Once you flipped the swithc the spotlights that had UW ray’s installed in it, burned EVERYBODY in the room to ash. The DM agreed.

    I still remember the DM’s mouth was foaming from rage. I just fucked up about two months of story after being there for two times. He wanted to kick me out but my friends(who were pretty pissed but still congratulated me for basically making everyone my bitch) told the DM that they accept this outcome that the story was getting somewhat booring but a twist like this was really needed since the PVP part were really rare and it didn’t feel like vampire after a while.

    The second time we played with the group, the DM was watching me like a hawk, every move I did he was like.
    “I’m watching you. Don’t you dare fuck this up for me.”
    After a while I got boored of it after the DM’s brother came in and took over the show as a newcomer maincharacter. Most of us left since we were playing with the group for like three months or so and we still get bossed around and his brother just appears and gets main status. One of the main characters left as well because of this.

    I kind of miss LARPing but I would need a good group… I’d even go with a bad group but I can’t really find groups interested in LARPing anymore.

  • James Howell

    Hey Spoony, I totally get what you mean about there being no good guys in Requiem. It used to be an issue of mine, and I tended to play tragic heroes (as best I could, given limited RP skills), because I liked being the protagonist. Recently I’ve been made Storyteller of my local Requiem LARP, and I’ve warmed to the whole concept of playing edgy characters.

    I think that while there are no good guys in V:TR, I’d say you don’t have to play evil either. The whole point of the game is that you are still (in terms of personality and history) who you were in life, but you’ve also got the fact that you’re inherently a monster – you have to maim and kill to continue existing, and what’s more you like it (the book describes it as basically being better than sex). So I think the core of the game as you describe it – maintaining Humanity – is still there. It’s just the added entropy to one’s sanity that eternity brings. You can either deny it, embrace it, or like most find the middle ground. You’re certainly not wrong in what you say, 

    Well done on your description of the Santified, by the way. That’s pretty much it. Except just confessing doesn’t bring Humanity back lol. At least not the way I rule it; you need serious introspection for that. I will agree wholeheartedly that The Carthians are really the only “good” covenant – they are my favourite.

    FYI the neutral ground is called an Elysium.

    I do agree that that’s bad play on the part of those Sanctified players, while it would makes sense in character it’s just not cool to fuck with other people’s characters that harshly. You basically got turned into an NPC, and that’s not on. Also that ST was kind of stupid, but not a total douche. I can understand why you tried to pull that stunt, and I’d have been tempted to clear to just because you put the effort in; but I get why he didn’t clear it, because it would be pissing off lots more people (and cutting the game short to boot). What he should have done was say that the place blows up, but everyone is on just enough aggravated damage to just not not die ie only their last Health box is empty. Everyone would be ok with that, I think. 

    I feel like I have to apologise on behalf of the V:TR LARPing community for the way your experience went. If you’re ever in the North-West of England, drop by our game in Manchester lol.

  • Fiachra

    Do a proper video that requires effort, you egomaniac!

  • Fiachra

    Do a proper video that requires effort, you egomaniac!

  • marabackman

    Awesome retaliation! Back when I used to quite often play “Vampire: The Masquerade” our GM recommended that we’d create well-rounded characters that just happened to be vampires.

  • Anonymous

    This whole story of vampires lynching the odd one out and getting royally pwnt in return definitely reminds me of -something-…

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know why I didn’t make this connection myself.  That’s been one of my favorite games for a long time, and my favorite portrayal of vampires since The Lost Boys. 

  • SoldierHawk

    May I ask why it’s spelled Jyhad? Is that a V:TM thing?

    • marabackman

      It was called that in the game, most likely to lessen complaints about Islamophobia.

      • SoldierHawk

        Ah, much appreciated, thanks for the clarification!

      • Anonymous

        Because poor literacy is culturally sensitive!

  • Anonymous

    I honestly don’t blame you here. The GM should have warned you from the start that if you weren’t going to play a certain covenant, than you would become a target for everyone else. The worst thing you can do to a player is just immediately kill them off without anything going wrong on the players part, and if the GM wasn’t willing to keep the game fun for thirty-one people then he wasn’t a good GM in the first place.

  • Anonymous

    These Counter Monkey videos are fun and all…but I really am missing the video game and movie reviews.

  • Logan

    You know, the thing that bothers me is that what else would they think you would possibly use the semtex for?

  • mikec

    i know nothing about anything spoken in this video, but man was it entertaining. the description giving in the beginning about the factions made it sound like everyone played their parts correctly. yeah it made them screw with your character, but they are crazy religious zealots, and you where in their house. the only person who acted poorly was the GM. he should allowed the mayhem to happen. it would have been fun to see if the players would try to rebuild to where they where, or if there would be a fractions across everyone, which would allow for new and interesting stories. either way i am certain your character would have been hunted down and killed before either could happen    

    • Amber

      Sadly I know the gm would have written that off as not happening.  

  • Peter Vanusanik

    I don’t get it. What was GM’s problem with it? Why didn’t he clear it? It’s a twist of the turns, but it doesn’t mean that game is over. They can roll new characters, there could be blood hunt on the Spoony or whatever. Someone with just a bit of fantasy can turn this thing around with new story, seriously….

    • Michael Wells

      From what I heard in this video and read up The Prince would be dead as he was literally the closest person to the blast. And only the Prince can call up a Blood Hunt on someone so Spoony’s character killed all those who would have known he was involved and the prince was gone. The new prince would likely not be willing to hunt down the guy who put his ass in power simply claiming they have no leads.

      Still good point.

      • Anonymous

        Well, I would expect all the survivors to want the guy who tried to kill them dead. Sure, only the Prince can call for a blood hunt, but when you bomb the entire Lancea Sanctum, you can’t expect them to sit there and do nothing about it. There’s a good point about the new Prince not being willing to catch the culprit, but that would be realistic if the government is particularly rotten and the new Prince wasn’t too hurt himself (if he was, he’d probably be pretty pissed), or if the guy was an ennemy of the Prince. Even if it’s the case, he’d want to ensure it doesn’t happen again, make an example, and he wouldn’t want people to start suspect him to have something to do with it (which would be the case if he doesn’t move his ass to find the bomber).

        But frankly, I though Spoony told the GM he was making semtex. Should the dude have seen it coming at this point ? The campaign sounds a little sloppy. The goddamn elyseum guard doesn’t even search people for weapons when they get in. That’s like the most basic stuff you do. How could it be simpler to get to the VIP area of the vampire society than to take the plane ?

        • Amber

          The intense explosion that took out a City block.   That means the building was razzed.  There would be no witnesses inside the building.  I know a prince in this game is powerful but he/she is no god.   If someone becomes the New prince, it would be someone who wasn’t in the building or outside it.

          The Gm should have seen it coming.  I played Gm in a few games.   Part of that is asking yourself what might happen.  What are the results if player a does something nasty to player B.   Mostly, he should have looked over the new character and forewarned the new player what he was getting into.

          • Anonymous

            That’s up to the GM. Spoony wrote on the paper that he expected the explosion to take out the whole city block and kill everyone in it. The GM can say pretty much whatever he wants about that. Example :

            “Okay, so you detonate the bomb, but that was amateur semtex. It’s powerful, but it’s not as good as actual C4. Plus, you put all the explosives in one room, so the blast came from a single place. Obviously, what was in the immediate vicinity of the toilets is gone, but that wasn’t enough to destroy the whole building. That means there are many survivors, many of which are likely to be in torpor, but they can be woken up.”

            See, easy as pie. Sure the Prince got killed, but that’s what he gets for having shitty security around his place. Vampires are tough. They can take the kind of punishment that would kill a human and it only puts them in a coma varying between a few days to years, and they can be woken up by a vampire with superior blood potency.

            So, provided the GM doesn’t just give up, it’s far from a game over situation. Now, sure, he might have to bullshit a little to save some PCs from death (I wouldn’t know exactly how much damage that quantity of semtex does, but I doubt Spoony himself is an expert on explosives), but so what ? He’s the GM. He does what he wants.

          • Moritz

            The semtex can be as amateur as you want. It will still reduce the building to dust as long as it explodes. Spoony was successfull in creating it, so it wasn’t a dud, that we know.
            Amateur semtex or C4 tends to be less stable than military grade, which is pretty much not explodeable by anything but a blast cap, but it will have about the same explosive force.
            There was no way the GM could have swindeled his way out of it. His only recourse was to retcon it. Which makes for poor GMing, but what can you do?

          • Anonymous

            No. The GM is the GM. What he says is. If the GM decides your explosion was not powerful enough to completely kill everybody, then it wasn’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it. it may be bullshit, but if the GM says it, then it’s legal bullshit. 
            In action movies, people survive explosions all the time, even when they shouldn’t. It’s just a game, and the GM is a storyteller. Explosions are exactly the kind of thing a GM can downplay at will if he wants to save the target, or amplify if he needs something to be destroyed for the purpose of the game (it’s much simpler than if an PC hits with his sword and does enough damage to kill a guy, or if he shoots him in the head at point blank range while he’s tied to a chair). The GM doesn’t have to “swindle” his way out of something because he is the GM, he shapes the universe as he sees fit for the story.

            Seriously, there’s always an excuse you can find with a little imagination, like “most people that weren’t right next to the explosion were protected by a really thick wall and weren’t obliterated, and thus survived (even if they’re in torpor and are half dismembered). Besides, you couldn’t have carried that much semtex on you without being noticed.”

            Like I said. Is any of the players a weapon or a demolition expert ? If not, then there’s no problem and the C4 is only as destructive as the GM lets it be. If one of them is, then let him talk privately to the GM and if what he says doesn’t fit the plans, simply disregard his opinion and go with the former option.

            Retconning stuff is bad GMing, sure, but not having the imagination to limit something as basic as an explosion is bad GMing too.

          • Moritz

            Well “city block” was probably a little bit of an overstatement. You can not carry that much semtex on your body without arousing suspicion. But the building would have been dust.

    • Amber

      But you guys don’t get it.  There would have been no survivors in the building.  That didn’t just takes out the building but also got the buildings around it.  No one would have known who did it.  And some people grow attached to their characters.  They get pest if their characters are maimed.  They worked on their characters long enough they have a vested interest in them.   That explosion has set back everyone and destroyed all the plots/plans the Gm had because There would have been No one alive in that building.  It took out a city block with the building in the center of that. 

      But same time, they should’t have played hard ball without expecting to get it back.

  • Anonymous

    That was awesome, and the GM should definitely have rolled with it (no need to even kill everyone, the closest guys to the toilets could have died and the rest sent into torpor, then, there just needs to be one powerful enough guy outside of the elyseum to wake enough vampires, and you have yourself a major bloodhunt for the Carthian terrorist, it was by no mean a game over. Hell, some vampires could even had avoided torpor, I believe explosion damage is not that horrible in the WoD book, so it could be argued, plus, Vampires don’t bleed to death or anything).

    I think you’re being harsh on the “no good guys” aspect. Humanity is still there, and you lose humanity when you commit horrible acts, and if you lose everything, then you can’t even play anymore. So nobody can play a complete monster for a whole campaign. It’s actually pretty interesting, because being good is certainly hard, but being bad can destroy your character.

    The covenants can be interpreted in many ways. The interesting bit is that they have pretty much no unity, vampire societies being completely different in different towns. There are huge differences of opinion within each covenant (the Lancea is a good example, they have bloodthirsty fanatics, and tolerant guys who just want to spread the good word and show other vampires a chance for redemption)

    -The Lancea Sanctum can’t be that evil. They’re supposed to be monsters and scare humans away from sin. If they kill a human, that person can’t repent and change his/her way. Plus, they still have the vampiric rules, and mainly the masquerade. And I don’t know where you read that about Lancea Sanctum members being able to confess and avoid losing humanity, but if it exists (maybe in an add-on, the covenant book or something), it’s bullshit, and shouldn’t be implemented by the GM. Another role of the Lancea is to give purpose to vampires, beings that have lost everything and become monsters. The Lancea tells them : “We know it’s tough, what’s happened to you, but don’t be so sad. It wasn’t chance, you were chosen to accomplish a great task”. Lancea groups that focus more on that aspect and less on the “let’s be monsters and be as horrendous as wa can” are perfectly viable options for a campaign.

    -The Invictus is generally evil, but more than that, it’s anachronistic. It’s basically the remnants of feudalism and aristocracy. Some guys there could indeed be (and often are) power hungry bastards, but some of them could simply have the nostalgia of chivalry, an ideal of nobility, or simply pride, which indeed leads to a misguided sense of superiority, but isn’t necessarily evil.

    -The circle of the Crone is not at all necessarily evil. They are not satanists, they are pagans. The Lancea sees them as satanists, just as the catholic church saw every pagan religion as the work of Satan when they were converting people (by force at least half the time). In the best case, they could be sort of hippies or wicca people, or some kind of guardians of an old religion (which might have violent rituals, but that doesn’t mean the ultimate purpose is world destruction). Now, sure, in the worst case, they could be demon worshippers, but in that case, they probably would be considered too dangerous to let live by other covenants.

    -The Ordo Dracul doesn’t want at all to make vampires closer to humans. They want to embrace their curse and evolve to the next stage. It could be to create daywalkers and conquer the world, but mainly, it’s a path to the discovery of the self, a quest to become something more. The possibilities for motivations of people in this group are endless. They could want to become the ultimate monster and be able to devour all that oppose them, or they could want to reinforce their humanity and push the beast away (and in fact, both tendencies exist inside the covenant). The “Let’s create super vampires so we can conquer the world” point of view could apply to some of them, but it’s simplistic to assume the whole covenant is working towards this goal.

    -The Carthians, finally, are obviously the default good guys, and they are often mocked by other covenants for being idealistic (their task is pretty hard, making vampires of all ages coexist equally, without having the situation explode) but there are ways to make them pretty evil too. A particularly motivated and amoral Carthian would try and create a vampire utopia where perfect equality is guaranteed, but at the price of free will. Or even if their intentions are good, the Carthians are one of the group that could easily degenerate into a terrorist organization trying to eradicate the other covenants because it’s the only way they’ll ever get what they want.

    And don’t forget that on the other side, you have truly evil groups like Belial’s Brood, who indeed want nothing but do bloody orgies. No covenant likes them. Even the most extremist groups of the Lancea wouldn’t want anything to do with them because A) They actually are demon worshippers and B) Their violence is completely purposeless and disproportionnate compared to what the Lancea would judge necessary.

    There’s an overview of the motivations as I see them in Vampire the Requiem. I played a bit of the Masquerade before, but as I discovered the new edition, it grew on me (although there are some elements I regret a little, and new elements I find stupid, but hey, if I’m the GM, and I dislike something that much, I can always change it, and if I’m not, then I can at least try to talk to the GM). I think it’s a lot more complex politically than the Masquerade, but obviously, if you’re looking for a game where you play heroes and have a tight group of loyal friends, then, it’s gonna be a little complicated (but seriously, even in Masquerade, one of the funniest parts of Vampire was to manipulate and cheat other PCs). It’s still possible though.

    • Michael Wells

      I figured there was more then the one hard core way to play each group but still that’s with anyone. Not every priest who visited the new world killed all hethans in their sight. Most tried their best to convert not kill, Killing was done if someone was obviously a danger to them.

      So yeah he could have played a Lancea as still a good guy who was more like Darius (Which btw would have been a bad ass character) a good person forced to kill to survive.

  • Anonymous

    Sounds like the issue here was this wasn’t really a game then, but a powertrip emo social club.  As much as it can infuriate a GM when players go off the deep end like this and end a campaign, I always felt you have a solemn obligation as the GM to allow it if it conforms to the rules.  Sure that player will get the boot and kicked out of the campaign by the other players most likely, but they WILL be rolling up new characters -my 2 cents anyways.    -Dream

  • Nick Hartman

    Spoony is a badass MOFO!

  • Anonymous

    NOBODY Expects the Vampire Inquisition!  And even less expect the Spoony Retribution! 

    Okay, that ending had me laughing so hard, this one is now my favorite Counter Monkey.  I liked this one better than Vegan Steve, and that one was not easy to top.  From the moment of “Do you believe in God?” “Well not NOW!”, all the way to the revenge, I was laughing like crazy, and with the cold and sore throat that I have now, it wasn’t easy, but it was WORTH the pain!

    And Spoony played it fair.  He had the skills, he had them approved, he made his boom-booms, and he did what he had to do and gave them a dose of their own bullshit.  It’s not HIS fault the doorman was an idiot! 

    Nice touch with the last action hero trick, too.  That was a good way to screw with the guy’s head.

    And also, was this the first time we heard Oreo make any kind of noise that didn’t come from a collar or a chew toy?  And I assume that was also her barking outside.  Just such a quiet dog (vocally anyway, heh), it just stood out to me that this was the first time I heard her. 

  • Anonymous

    I have to say if I was in a group of assholes who wouldn’t let me follow a character path I wanted and forced me to follow their path and the dm allowed that shit to happen I would find a thousand and one ways to fuck up their game, I mean seriously? They force you to join their order? Screw that, I hope they realized afterwards that while you had pulled a dick move on them they had essentially pulled a similarly dickish move on ever single new player

  • Anonymous

    Don’t feel too much like an asshole, Spoony. I would have ran a victory lap (or 2), while singing “We Are The Champions”, “Eye of the Tiger”, “You’re the Best Around”, or some other inspirational song used for sporting events. Then, whenever I saw any of the people from that LARP, I’d go up to them and say something like “BOOM – HAHAHAHAHA!”

  • Anonymous

    That’s the risk people play when they run an evil campaign of any kind, honestly.  I don’t know much about Vampire, but I do know that if all of the characters in a group are the type who throw morality out the window, you can expect backstabbing.  So I would say this is the biggest group of moron vampires out there if they seriously don’t check for explosives or weapons upon entry into their seat of government, basically.  You’d think in however many thousands of years, they would have figured out that they had enemies who wanted to destroy them, and taken necessary precautions to that effect?
    Sounds like it was a pretty shittily run game anyway.  At the very least, a responsible GM would have let you know that your character wasn’t appropriate to the setting and therefore wasn’t allowed.

    • doresh

      One of the reasons why I also don’t like evil campaigns: Everybody acts like a total dick, but once THEY are on the receiving end they all come whining to the GM XD

  • Anonymous

    Were I DMing this game, I would applauded your ingenuity. I understand things need to be kept in order, but man that would have been a hoot. I would have gone in and given you clearance to tell your story and then took you back outside and see if things could be worked out, even if I was the dick he was. Of course I wouldn’t run this sort of game in the ifrst place, but if I was suddenly put in those shoes I would have laughed like hell.

  • Anonymous

    Personally I think Spoony should’nt have done this, he should have stuck with the campaign, slowly sabotaging it for a week or so then ending it with a big BOOM and becoming the Vampire Prince of Pheonis himself!

    Still though, kudos, I’d have done the exact same thing in your shoes Spoony.

  • Anonymous

    That… was… EPIC.

    Damn, Spoony, I don’t know what to say to that. It’s… it’s beautiful. Honestly, if I was that Storyteller, I’d let it go through. Everyone dies, time to create new characters. It would have been AWESOME and an object lesson to never underestimate the little guy, skill sets, some creativity, or a little security.

    I know what you mean about the nWoD. My favorite game of the oWoD was Mage. I loved the ideas in it and the central conflict between the Technocracy and the Traditions. nWoD Mage… has NONE of that. The central concept of Mage — that reality is literally what you make of it — is tossed out; there really is only One True Way in the new edition. The idea that magic and science are effectively the same thing, only applied in different frameworks is gone. Its really disheartening and bland.

  • Nikola Šuša

    Meh i play vampires neutral… As every other char.

  • Urban Sniper

    Wow, that was great.  That’s exactly the kind of retribution I love to see against asshole GMs. 

  • Rod Scott

    Awesome story. Man, I love these.

  • Anonymous

    That is a great story, Spoony. If you were an asshole, you were the right kind of asshole.

  • Mark Flora

    Beautiful.  Simply beautiful.  I applaud you, Spoony.

  • John Compton

    You, Sir, are a pip. I tip my hat at you :-)

  • Anonymous

    I guess the moral here is: don’t fuck with Spoony or he will blow your ass to kingdom come.
    Yeah, I suppose you could call that a dickmove, but it looks like playing with those guys would not have worked out anyway, so why not quit with a bang.
    However, by calling one of your videos *Spoony’s Jyhad* and talking about how you leveled a city block with homemade C4, you probably secured yourself a spot on about half a dozen government watch lists.

  • martin rosspaterson

    =claps= Fantastic idea there Spoony on how to get back at those guys, I will admit that if it had happened to me I would have been the same way or at least found one way to get back at those arrogant idiots. I mean I have never done a Larp but at any organized event the coordinator should have given you a run down of whats going on or a general idea of the factions at play within that story.

  • Amber

    That guild needed to be shown actions have consequences.  Why I like Playing the Amber DRPG, which I am currently going in my forum.  The Gm should have warned you about the factions.  Instead he let your character become unplayable.  Its only right you do the same for them. 

  • Otto Rosenlund

    It would have been a much better story if you hadn’t always cleared up the fact that no, they did not actually torture you with a blowtorch and no, they didn’t actually carry swords. It might’ve freaked some people up and alienated them from LARPing for life. And that, sir, would’ve been funny.

  • Michael Wells

    Now I like Spoony’s response. But me I am a bit more slow and evil about things like that.

    Me I would have gotten a group of those who had been forced to join like myself (Since you know it had to have happened before) and went off to grab some Invictus guys, pose as devote followers or the Prince and try to convert them, letting them escape. Slowly bringing up a resentment to the Lancea. When the Invictus grab Lancea guys as revenge a war is sparked. When the war is over and the winner is throwing a victory party, you blow up their party deep frying them. Of course you make sure you and your follow forced recruits are safely away.

  • Justin Smith

    Hit exactly why I don’t like LARPs.
    I roleplay to create stories and make meaningful choices. LARPing is more about characterization, and social postering in my experience. Heck, i was banned from LARP in a town I was in before I even played, do to calling out the Storyteller’s bullshit in a Pen & Paper game.(The fallacy: The Storyteller is the author. The players are the characters in the story. Well…that is a logical fallacy if you want to create a story as a group. Unless you just want players to embellish their characters but not make meaningful choices that could derail a Storyteller’s plot. If that what you want to do, more power to you…but you are basically just listening to some dudes bad fan fiction). 

  • Pontus Haglund

    Spoony. Seriously.<3. I am currently a newb in a Masquerade larp, and I'm frustrated out of my ass with being a lowly fledgeling. This made me laugh bigtime, it was a wonderful story!

    Also, its called an Elysium.

    More COUNTER MONKEY!!! :D <3

  • Anonymous

    I love nWoD and requiem, but I completely agree with most of what you said.

    I’d give some of the other books a shot though if I were you: Changeling for instance has alot to offer.

  • Andrew Sayles

    Ahahaha, serves them right. If you are going to allow the group to fuck over an individual because “that’s just how the world works” than you should better be prepared for the circumstance of when the individual has the ability to fuck over the group. Especially in settings where there’s some level of technology.

    My only experience with Vampire has been through Requiem. I’d have to say that I disagree with the idea that everybody is evil. Every formal organization in Vampire is corrupt sure, but there is plenty of room amongst the corrupt to have good people. I LOVE settings where people are evil from our standpoint. It makes it all the more satisfying when I play a good guy. There can always be good individuals. The more corrupt the world, the more the world needs good people. The more the world needs good people the more resistance good people meet and the more resistance you meet, the more satisfying it is for when you win. Of course, most likely you don’t win but only because you stacked the deck against yourself. It is to be expected. That’s why I like the Warhammer 40k RPGs. The human race became cruel as a means of survival in a hostile universe but that cruelty needed to survive brought rise to innumerable tyrants and a despotic rule. Playing a good guy there makes the good more valuable.

  • Anonymous

    You did the right thing man! What assholes. I hate guys who treat new players like shit for no reason. Allah Akbar!

  • Private

    Spoony you are such a bad ass, it’s a shame those guys couldn’t recognize genius when they saw it.

  • chantrenne thomas

    bravo, just bravo thats what i call revenge

  • Anonymous

    Props Spoony.

  • Leonard

    You did the right thing Spoony, If the people within that LARP were being elitist assholes and were pretty much smug against new people, they deserved to be blown up into a million pieces of bat chow. If I was placed in that situation, I would have first blown up the church where I was tortured then go back to the palace room. Personally, If they wanted to be an exclusive LARP group, they should of just kept it among themselves and not invite new people within their group rather than being assholes with Newbies and converting them into their own factions, but overall Good Job Spoony, the perfect way to get back at them, no one would have expected the Newbie to demolish their whole kingdom in one fel swoop.

    • Ike shirley

       they should have told you that they were only on faction when you were invited

  • Richard Von Hendy

    That was excellent.

    Reading over my copy of Requiem (I was considering joining a group at one point, but I believe the moment has passed,) I don’t think that confessing your sins is enough to stave off humanity loss.  It’s more that confessing is expected if you are in the Lancea Sanctum.  The loss of humanity represents the character’s viewpoint shifting from “I killed a person, and I should confess because it’s the right thing to do,” to, “It’s okay to kill people, so long as I confess my sins afterwards.”

    Also, if you would be interested in a nWoD line with a more definite endgame, you should take a look at Promethean: the Created.  It’s basically Frankenstein’s monster trying to become a real human.  That summary doesn’t really get into all the nuances, but explaining it in detail would probably not be good material for a comment.

  • Lukas Hägg

    Going by what you told, they were kinda being jerks for no good out of game reason. Sure they had ingame reasons, but that might not have been a problem if they’d told you about ‘essential facts’ first. The fact that you cleared everything with the dm and made sure to have another player witness your skill roll just makes it even better.

    Larping has never really seemed all too interesting to me. I think mainly because of what you said about the game really being about the inner circle and the dm. It might sound egocentric, but I think no one really wants to be the bit player.

    You played by the rules, the dm should have cleared it. He never would have, but he ‘should’ have.

  • Unholy Fire Dragon

    I’ve been ostracized and treated unfairly myself throughout my entire childhood no matter what I did. And, you know what? If I would’ve been interested in DnD or larping, any attempt to join any group would’ve probably lead me to a similar sort of situation.

    Those assholes totally deserved what they got and I love the fact that you did what you did in the way that you did it. I remember being constantly surrounded by people like that when I was the very good child that I was (contrasting to me as a douchey adult now, which actually lead to a comparatively MUCH better life). There was no other way to treat them, Spoony. Assholes are assholes!

    And besides…
    These people don’t even deserve your time anyways. The DM didn’t even care about having you go through an unfair scenario, and yet he couldn’t stand the fact that you basically won the entire campaign while still following the game’s rules.

    Frantically, I hope that they’re watching your website right now and feeling sorry for not making the effort to be friends with you. I think they’ve missed out on something great, and probably still are.

  • Jack Donald

    The most elemental rule of roleplaying is work together to have fun. This GM had allowed his group to set up the city how they saw fit and neglected the needs of players; as demonstrated by his unwillingness to rein-in the Prince when he started highjacking the characters of new players. This is exactly the kind of encouragement a GM needs to see to all of his player’s requirements rather than just some of them; not every requirement and not all the time but every player. Kudos to you Spoony, though in the next re-telling maybe leave the details of your revenge until after you’ve given the door-guard the cards. The unexpected joke is always funnier.

  • Fiachra

    Where’d my comment go, you egomaniac? Look, I really like Spoony’s work but these stories are really lazy (remember Let’s Wrestle?). If everyone keeps stroking his ego, he’ll never make a proper video again.

    • Nicholas Rodriguez

      I’m not gonna lie and say I hate a series when I really enjoy it. I like these stories, and if that’s stroking his ego fine, but I doubt he’ll “never make a proper video again” eventually he’ll run out of stories.

      • marabackman

        I like the “auto-biographical” stories. One of the main reasons I’m a fan of Spoony and some other reviewers is how much they seem like people I could be friends with and have fun with. In fact, Noah’s reviews often remind me of the type of conversations I’ve had with my geekier friends over the years. So please, consider your ego stroked and tell us more ^^

        • Nicholas Rodriguez

          That’s the same way I feel when I hear these stories. Not to mention that Noah is a really good story teller, since I’ve never played an RPG or LARPed, but am still interested.

          • marabackman

            Oh yes, he is. I just love the part when I realized what he would do with the “explosives” and his continued build-up made me all the more gleefully fanboyish, even though I knew what the result would be.

  • Anonymous

    Noah, you are a goddamn hero.

  • Anonymous

    I just want to say that I LOVE Counter Monkey! Not only are the stories AWESOME, but they’re great for when I’m working on reports, as without the visuals added in, all I have to do is listen. Thanks for all your great work Spoony! =D

    But don’t think you shouldn’t do the bigger videos either, we love those too! ;) (When reports aren’t being done)

    • Matt Green

      How come Amber didn’t like this comment?

  • Anonymous

    You probably should have found a way to announce your intentions to the entire room and died in the explosion yourself. You weren’t going to be playing the character again anyways and that way you could maximize on the number of people who knew you outwitted them. After the fact you could just say something like “I know you’re not going to let this pass, even though I followed all the rules, but I just wanted you all to know that I pulled one over on you this time and all your characters should be dead.”

    Still, whatever, hilarious story. Hope that news of what should have happened leaked farther than the GM and the doorman.

  • Anonymous

    Nicely done Spoony. Go on, give us another one! ;)

  • Tom Badguy

    Totally awesome story, Spoony. I enjoyed it very much, lol

  • james g

    Nice video cool dog an funny as hell you should them the mind of an every day player an i liked that but do more funny movie reviews and games. I mean come on dont get me wrong love all the videos  but just lookin forword to the to the new clone episode. Keep the good work up man.

  • Anonymous

    That was an awesome story.. I’d love to see those guys faces now…..

  • Anonymous

    The last 3 minutes was so awesome, I have replayed it three times…

    • james g

      we get it you loved so did I had to wright on your post to.

  • Joshua Snider

    Spoony saved the entire city from those vampires and deserves a statue.

  • Anonymous

    Player of V:tm since it was a softcover book and V:TR
    And as my only two lasting favorite V:tm characters was a Lancea Sanctum and the Ordo, I’ll limit the comments to that. 

    What you described is the Lancea AT IT’S MOST EXTREME AND UNFILTERED. But c’mon, tell me a single political movement, religion, or philosophy that never ever changed or deviant to at least a small degree. Every single Lancea eventually develops their own outlook, even if they put on the proper face for the Bishops. This has been the case ever since Longinus started coming down from the mountain to preach. Madeline, my Lance and a Paladin for the order, would have slapped around these bitches and had the nearest Bishop up everyone’s ass for basically jerking around with a random gangrel for no reason and who would have served no use to the Lancea. 

    The Ordo? Making Daywalkers? That’s like saying people train to become Michelin 5 Star Chefs so they can make a decent cheeseburger. Yes, being a  “daywalker” is one of the perks of their goals, but the point of the Ordo’s obsession with research and transhumanism (transvampirism?) is to reach a goal.

    That said, you just described WHY I’m not a damned LARPer, and why I flipped the bird to the Camarilla. Your experience is sadly not unique. I can name names and domains that are little more than killboxes that get a kick on abusing new players to a degree that even Vampire can’t justify and one of them is a former World Storyteller who’ll rightly go down as a hypocritical piece of shit. Yes, Vampire is rough, it’s supposed to be rough, it’s supposed to be cutthoat.  

    If the are covenant problems in a domain, NEW PLAYERS DO DESERVE WARNING. In OUR domain, for example, we warned that our court had big league issues with certain groups, types, and clans. If you still wanted to truck with this group, okay, we’ll go with that, but you were properly warned. And our court is actually quite reasonable and works together. Our Prince ran the place like a military outpost; hardnosed, but no personal political bullshit allowed except on your own time and your own risk. You make noise in our yard, you spook the herd and the status quo, and everyone else comes down on you for shaking the tree, covenant be damned. We had too much shit to deal with from outside threats, our philosophy pretty much states, so any political games you want to play you go play in your own room, not the family room. 

    Anyway, glad to see the story had a happy ending. :) Seeing you throw this back in the face of those d-bags warmed my heart. 

    • Anonymous

      I think his description was based on the fact that what your calling “AT IT’S MOST EXTREME AND UNFILTERED” is exactly how PLAYERS choose to play that group.  the fluff text is irrelevant at that point, because the players are going to go balls-out if they get a chance.

  • Anonymous

    Actually, it’s tough to justify for anyone but the most retardedly zealous Lancea. Their own splatbook states that they KNOW they can’t convert everyone, and conversion by force is impractical at best. Yes, if someone is deemed to be an asset that can’t be allowed to go into the other side, THEN you do the abduct and force convert, but any old lick off the street? These chumps weren’t acting like Lancea, they were acting like SABBAT. 

  • PhiaMoth

    This is pretty much what I remember the experience of playing Vampire as being, including backstabbing and needing to have a good tolerance for other people simperingly describing torture that they were doing to your character. It’s a power-and-scheming game. It was fun, but only if you can keep perspective on people being utter monsters to each other.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve only played the PC RPGs of Vampire: the Masquerade. Redemption and Bloodlines. As I remember Christof the main char becomes a vampire in the first game and he hangs onto his humanity through love and yeah if you lose all your humanity by killing innocents and whatnot, the game is over, you’re a monster, with no control of yourself. Oh and he didn’t want to be a vampire in the first place.

    In the 2nd game it’s possible to not kill a single innocent even if you drink their blood, so that doesn’t really make you evil then, I think. I mean you let people live and they didn’t even feel bad afterwards.

    So I’d like that to be a big deal, that you can’t just go around and kill people, without losing your humanity, if it wasn’t self defense.

  • Anonymous

    You should’ve gone about it more obnoxiously. maybe shout out in the middle of the church the Carthian equivalent of “ALALALALALALALALALA” and yell what you then do. Would’ve let more people know what could’ve just happened to their precious character had the DM approved it. On the other hand, it might have also increased your chances of getting the crap beat out of you for real by a bunch of angry larpers.

    • doresh

      Actually, when I first told he made C4, I thought he’ll go inside the church, open his jacket (showing all the C4 tags) and blow them all up. His actual approach is way cooler – and had a lower possibility of all the dead vampires beating him up for ruining their LARP XD

    • Anonymous

      Should have brought a megaphone…

  • Max Wilen

    If the World of Darkness mmo is good, i’ll go Carthians with ya Spoony. ;)

  • Anonymous

    Reminds me of the time when I larped in some futuristic “Syndicate” style game with my friends (Cannot remember it’s name) and joined them in a corporate conference (In one of my friend’s dining halls) between board members of the area, and completely railroaded the entire moment when I opened my coat and detonated 10 pounds of C4 (They plastic bags I spray painted brown and stapled to my vest that said C4 on them) and killed almost everyone in the room, except the head honcho. Basically I pulled a Valkyrie.

  • Joshua Jimenez

    he should have allowed it and technically fired the guard for not checking you XD

  • Jim

    Holy cow! I used to LARP back in the late 90’s and I thought it was just a local thing of Vampire LARPers being assholes. I guess it’s universal.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, it wasn’t just LARPers; Back in HS we had asshole issues with playing Vampire the masquerade both in LARP and as a regular rpg.  Meanwhile the guys who played Werewolf were really nice, and actually having fun, rather than living out some dicks domination fetish. 
      Didn’t ever know anyone who played Mage the ascension, but I can’t imagine that the guys who were attracted to that game would be much different from the werewolf kids..

  • Anonymous

    @ 7:31 OF COURSE!!!!!

  • Spokojasne

    LMAO those vampires got SPOONED!

  • Anonymous

    This is exactly why I just never could get into larping with my friends
    (back then it was still ‘the masquerade’), because they would do bugnuts
    crazy shit when it didn’t make sense (and in fact was counter to the
    ideas present in the game), and try and railroad folks into doing things
    their way.  

    I’m pretty sure in Spoony’s place I would have tried to made sure
    the entire group was aware of what I had done, and the steps I went to
    to make it happen.  (Frankly the GM should have called it fairs fair,
    and let it stand.  It is his fault for not reining in the prince after all)  And I would have made it a routine to continue
    showing up at games, (especially if they didn’t want me anymore), just to make my point.  assholish behavior works
    both ways.

  • Greg Phillips

    Best LARP crash I ever heard of.

  • Anonymous

    God, I haven’t thought about Vampire: The Masquerade in years. I was a clan Tremere devote for a long time until 40K sucked my life away.

  • Anonymous


  • Arbiter Libera

    Certainly didn’t take long for someone to make it.

  • Stuart Phip

    Oh. that’s good, that’s really good.

  • Arbiter Libera


  • troy d

    I remember hanging out at a local gaming store that was like 40min away from my home town so when we go we like to hang out for a little bit and talk shop with the owners and workers while looking over products. Well that night they started having a Vampire LARP which Ive never seen before so we decided to kinda sit back and watch while looking over DnD stuff. There happened to be a couple of really hot Dominatrix/Gothy girls that showed up and so I was like “Wow” and me and my friend started checking them out. When all of a sudden this guy dress like he was from New Orleans with a rainbow colored stick saunters…yes he sauntered..up to us and says something like “Dont stare at my thrall Im a high ranking blah blah blah and Ill have you removed from my court”. I look at the manager of the game store and can see hes pissed cause this guy is now messing with customers not just the game folks. So I just go off on him I say something along the lines of “Look epic fail, Im not playing your little pretend Ann Rice wanna be pathetic excuse for a goth club, Ill take that rainbow stick your twirling and shove it up your ass. If you want me to play though fine Ill play, I got 2 airsoft guns in the car me and friend here will play 2 Avengers from Hunter with 5 conviction and every power there is and your the first one were going for…now how you gonna act” Mind you this guy was 2ft taller than me at the time (I was 16 and havnt hit my growth spurt) and had over 100lbs on me. He backed away and I went back to looking at the hotties, the manager came over to me and was like “That was the best thing I ever seen, they may pay to rent the place but these Vampire people can get a little out of hang.” Then he proceeded to give us a discount on the books we were buying haha. As I left Mr Rainbow was apparently complaining to the DM and I guess he was about to talk to the manager about throwing is out and I stopped and have him the hang gun motion with my hand and winked and left.

  • David

    All hell naw, no he didn’t!!

    He just blew’em up real good.

  • Anonymous

    This story made my day…Thanks Spoony

  • Matthew Cheng

    You seem to run into a lot of really unfair/douche-y Game organizers, Spoon. It’s clear that this guy was in it more for his buddies’ enjoyment than in providing a good adventure that ANYONE could join. 

    Great job taking them down a notch. Although, it would have been interesting to see what would happen if that DM had rolled with it.

    DM: Well, I guess, I let them be jerks, so I guess I have to let this one slide, but you can’t pull any of this sh** anymore, alright?

    Others (after DM has explained situation): That Bi*** did WHAT?

    • Michael Wells

      I am wondering if Spoony told his friend (Who roped him into the LARP to begin with) what he did. Can you imagine that guy/girl telling their friends in the LARP “Yeah the new guy I brought in totally pwned all our asses on his second day”

  • Zachary Necaise

    I play a Carthian in a Lancea controlled city where I am constantly under attack for being a “good guy”. Spoony, you are a hero.

  • Pawel Archipow

    Man….that’s a serious failure of imagination on the part of the DM. Such an epic twist…and he did nothing with it.

  • Petra Michael

    That is the most brilliant revenge plot I have ever heard.
    Good job Spoony! XD

  • FierceDeityFox

    spoon, you are the freaking man.  i was laughing my ass off, this is an awesome story.

    i so hope you have more stuff like this, im loving every second of this series

  • Anonymous

    When I heard the word Semtex I was like “this is gonna be awesome”.

    I love a good revenge story. Typical of the DM for not playing ball as soon as he was outsmarted. I like how your expression at the end, even after all this time, conveys a “take that, bitches” look. You were aggrieved, and you should feel triumphant. I wish I had seen the face of the guy who first read the notes :D

    Once again, you told the story in a way that almost made me pump my fist in the air and go “yeah!” I really hope you don’t run out of these stories anytime soon.

  • Wiktor Jankowiak

    I remember you telling that story on Jason’s livestream. Still love it xD

  • Anonymous

    Well, what did the DM expect you to do? You’re a disgruntled chemist with access to explosives who’s got every reason to be a tad nuts. Plus, if they’d had even a modicum of security, the plan wouldn’t have worked. There’s unfair, and then there’s asking for it. This was straight up asking for it.

    But you remembered the cardinal rule of revenge…

    You gotta have style.

  • Patrik

    Playing evil whit out purpose sucks. I agree that keeping humanity is best, however i would not call them “good guys” playing a “hero” vampire just seems odd. You can be kinda mean but not a child murderer if you know what i mean. Playing Vampire good demands that the players puts a lot of thought in to the lore and how there character should act.    

  • André Norell

    As soon as you mentioned semtex, I started giggeling, and (honest to God) I didn’t stop until the video ended :)

  • Anonymous

    Damn, if Miles were involved I would say that the Spoondock Saints had struck again, but oh well.

  • Anonymous

    So they wanted to have a game where there was no real free will, and didn’t want to go by the games rules? Sounds like a bunch of crybaby’s who want their way or the highway. I notice that BS on message boards… real life…. you name it. From halo to a fantasy wrestling fed there always seems to be the in crowd who instead of having fun and playing far want to dominate every aspect and get themselves over.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, you are speaking to my goddamn SOUL with this one. I hate WoD for exactly the same reason. That there’s no good guys, and if you try you get shat on. I’ve played in a few vampire campaigns on tabletop and LARP and learned the hard way that if you try to make someone good, or somebody who wants to be helpful, you’re going to end up the brainwashed lap-dog of some Ventrue asshole or dead, and our story-teller believed that’s how it should have been. I grew sick of the game because simply I didn’t like playing the brooding creature of the night, or the devious, finger-mincing, sinister guy with complex machinations to overthrow the Prince.
    (Also, I think the word you were looking for on the Neutral Ground was “Elysium”. At least that’s what we always called it.)
    Anywho, when a new Vampire tabletop game started up, led by the same guy as pretty much always, I decided I would get back at him my own way. I forget the actual kind of Vampire he was, but what I did was make someone who was a big comic book nerd before he was embraced. He believed that he should use his Vampirism for the betterment of all of Mankind, to the point where he still considered other Vampires human. Thus, he became a Superhero called the Crimson Dynamo. He would patrol rooftops, fight off purse-snatchers, advocate not drinking and driving, and generally be a bastion of sparkly-toothed fists-on-hips in front of the American Flag Justice. It got to the point where I was actually throwing a wrench into other players’ planned crimes by showing up and fighting them off. All the while I had my mild-mannered alter-ego who would appear at Neutral Ground and mingle about and just generally be unassuming. The Story-teller HATED this character with a fiery passion to the point where he was starting to throw more difficult criminals at me, turn the police on me, and whatnot. Just doing whatever he could to kill him off because The Dynamo was an out-and-out mockery of his game. I loved every minute of it.

  • Al Kusanagi

    Some friends and I used to do this since we were starved for gaming, but couldn’t find anyone else to play with so we’d join VtM LARPS and play non-vampires specifically as vampire hunters. A few of the GM types actually liked things being stirred up, so they gave us their blessing and even bent the rules for us, ending up with a group made up of a couple of rogue vampires, a pack of werewolves, and my lowly human character. And by “lowly human” I mean an Akashic Brother martial artist/pyromancer from Mage: the Ascension. Good times, and lots of wonderful gothy tears were had.

  • Anonymous

    Ok.  I’m jumping the gun here because I’m typing this before I watched the video.  I have a special hatred in my heart for WoD Vampire, doubly so for the LARP.  I went to a grand total of two Vampire LARPs, both unmitigated disasters. 
    Game 1: Took place in an old Victorian mansion and everyone was all gothed out.  I was playing a Malkavian.  The game degenerated into everyone else sitting around smoking pot and talking about the darkness of their soul.  I decided to make them pay for this.  I went bat-shit with my Malkavian to the point where people thought that I had genuinely snapped.  If I’m uncomfortable with the situation, I’ll make everyone else uncomfortable.
    Game 2:  I come back with my Malkavian ready to fuck with these douchebags.  I then met a new character.  I THINK she was playing another Malkavian….She kept jumping in and out of character, talking about whether anything was real or not.  I then caught sight of her collection of her coke and meth, saw the scars on her arms and decided that I was done.

    • Anonymous

      Are you sure that was a LARP and not just regular old goths?

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, I picked up the invitation to it at my local game store.  There was a GM, everyone had character sheets.  It just devolved into a gigantic clusterfudge of pseudo-existentialism.  I guess the game just attracts that kind of person.  In the words of The Who, I won’t get fooled again.

  • David Feichtner

    Completely honest: As soon as my players (I run two old WOD games right now) start treating the newbie in such a manner, your bomb can go off and they roll new characters!
    On the other hand, I have a set of great players right now, who really go against the emo-goth crap that most people would associate with Vampire (Warhammer-playing ex-princess, Rom-circus owner, 1200 year old Knight who can’t use a cell). Yeah, not much brooding, but a lot of great conversations (ever seen a former Crusader at a rave?). 
    You can have a lot of fun with the old system, but the new one has lost almost all of it’s charm…

  • orlando

    1. This was genius! 2. I expect nothing less from the guy who spawned Dr. Insano. 

    I honestly hate when people set up campaigns/settings that prevents experimentation. I hate it more when a character is singled out and punished for the character he/she made. I’d honestly do the same thing if put in that situation. I already did it in a few games already.

  • Michael Wells

    Just thought of this but love the call back to your Q&A Spoony, “The Vampire Prince of Phoenix has done more deals while sitting in a booth at Denny’s.. the fate of the world has been decided in a denny’s” or something along that line.

  • Anonymous

    Huh. I’ve always felt that people are given more license to be less “good” in Masquerade. Just having the Sabbat as foes doesn’t stop the Camarilla from being nicer. The way I see the Requiem being is that you’re trying to grasp onto the ‘echo’ of humanity. Instead of being DeathRaven with his twin katana and sunglasses, you make a human, then make them a Vampire. Suddenly you’re Bob from IT, who has to be a person AND a Vampire. Add to that the neofeudal/mafia-like attitudes of the clans, it can be pretty cool. I place it as somewhere between Sopranos and Dead Like Me.

    I get a lot of your issues with the New WoD, but as someone who isn’t keen on the huge metaplot, I like having my own universe. The main selling point for me with the nWoD is the system, which is lovely. There are conversion documents to allow the Masquerade universe with the newer system, which is pretty cool. I never saw the broad strokes you saw those covenants as, but I don’t know if it was your bad LARPy experience. I’d seriously suggest looking at Danse de la Mort, the free series of Vampire adventures. They’re possibly the best intro to a modern roleplaying game, contain all the rules to play the game and it’s eight parts with a (roughly) nonlinear story and engaging characters from all clans and covenants. Even just to skim, I’d say check it out. Matt McFarland did fantastic work with Vampire and Mage’s demos.

    • Christina

      “Just having the Sabbat as foes doesn’t stop the Camarilla from being nicer.”

      To be fair that’s kind of the point (or should be) with Vampire, both old WoD and presumably new WoD (never played nWoD): That vampires are unnatural monstrosities by nature, only some can fake it better than others. There are only different shades of grey and black there.

      That said, yes, years ago I did once try to play a “saintly” vampire in a pen-n-paper oWoD campaign. thin-blooded, Humanity 10, neonate gangrel who still worked his old job as a paramedic. He was even still betrothed to his living girlfriend. Of course, we played under GURPS Vampire rules so I had pimped him out with every conceivable advantage in the rulebook that helped him pass as human (i.e. can eat food, can make his heart beat, has natural body temperature and skin complexion like someone who just died a few seconds ago, breathes even when he doesnt concentrate on it or is speaking, does not fall into a torpor sleep when the sun goes up and can wake up from sleep during the day, doesn’t go nuts when he sees daylight, has a high willpower, no urge to bite his girlfriend in the neck), with Fortitude pushed to the max for a thin-blooded vampire, and he would only take non-aggravated damage from sunlight. So he would technically be able to go out in daylight, or so I had planned, while wrapped up head to toe wearing heavy biker clothes, boots, gloves, and a biker helmet with black tinted visor. Except for maxed out Fortitude and one dot in Auspex he didn’t even have any vampiric disciplines, being a neonate, so that whole “daywalker” thing was supposed to be his big advantage to keep him alive in the world of the Camarilla.

      Unfortunately, the same female GM who had previously ok’ed the character, who had even given me a single-player adventure where we played my character’s vampirisation, had unfortunately
      a) neglected to tell me that all the *other* players had unilaterally decided that they’d be playing ancient 8th generation powerful sunglasses-wearing mofos with phantom ghouls (Phantom ghoul = ghouls that you gain on a whim whenever you feel like it and that you didn’t pay points for at character creation nor apparently need to feed bloodpoints to because you sucked up to the GM, yeah that really happened.), and
      b) suddenly decided during the first session that she didn’t like the idea of my character being able to go around during the day, because it “didn’t fit with her idea of vampires” (ignoring that *she* was the one who kept dropping “Blade” and “Nick Knight” references into her game) and that “it would be unfair to the other players” whose centuries old Ventrue and Toreador characters kept steamrolling my poor neonate Gangrel. (Maybe those other players could simply play their own phantom ghouls if we really really had some plot during the day? No?)

  • George Ragen

    Fucking genious spoony!

  • Mary E. J. A. S.

    This is the best thing ever. I could only dream of payback that sweet.

  • Liragon

    spooney just sucks now. was only ever good at reviewing games. which he seems to avoid.
    bookmark deleted :D

    • Anonymous

      Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!


    • Jordan Stone

      Wait I seem to remember you deleting your bookmark ages ago, do you have alzheimer’s disease? I just picture you in this never ending loop of deleting and reacquiring your Spoony bookmark…..What hell this must be. I’ll prey for your sanity =,(

      • Anonymous

        He may have Alzheimer’s, but at least he doesn’t have Alzheimer’s. :-P

    • Anonymous


    • George Rosenbaum

      Well THIS was good.

      Although, Noah does like to avoid original job in favor of anything else he can think of. It occasionally works, but it’s just not as good. That said, the drop in quality still isn’t enough for me to unsub.

  • orlando

    Also, I love Spoony’s epic trolling face. I wish I could have seen the game moderator’s face after being delivered the news that his setting was ruined. 

  • Anonymous

    Man spoony, some days I just think we share the same wavelength.

    The one, and ONLY Vampire/WoD game I ever played started and ended with me, as an unembraced (non-kindred) character luring the local asshole Sheriff PC and his three “war party” cronies, into a taxi cab during crowded traffic, rolling a primitive sodium-dust bomb right under their car and busting a local fire hydrant open with a wrench to set it off, all while disguised as a construction worker with a rain slicker.

    The gasoline tank lit up, and despite their stacked stats, took far too much agg damage per turn to endure it; their attempts to douse themselves in the water only intensified the damage, as the base of the reaction was SODIUM. Ironically, the only one who survived did so at the expense of essentially turning into ash and being forced into recuperative torpor for the next seven sessions (one week’s LARP was one night in continuity).

    Why? Because they had been hazing or “Shanghaiing” (better than I could have described it) newbies, like myself, into being basically quest-fodder for weeks (basically, they had a rotating schedule of killing the newbies after a few quests to ensure they couldn’t get enough exp to actually threaten them; it was part of the central plot, supposedly), while they got to do all the actual story and RP related stuff.

    Fortunately, I knew both the lead GMs, and they thought it was hilarious. The Prince immediately sought my person for an “interview” following the death (and critical wounding) of his four best soldiers.
    I turned him down flat, and didn’t return the following week because two of the four PCs I torched were being absolute bitches about it. In “canon” they used my character sheet as the basis for the new Sheriff, and I never went near WoD again (LARP or traditional tabletop).

  • Hathor Liderc

    Coming from the guy who killed off a bunch of characters in Shadowrun with DMSO, this does not surprise me!

    Good show!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve always thought about how to make a “good” vampire character, and decided it might not be totally impossible. My idea was to have a vampire who only feeds on criminals – thieves, murderers, rapists, the kind of people that wouldn’t really be missed if they disappeared one night.
    Sort of like The Punisher meets Louie from Interview with the Vampire. Though I guess that might be more Neutral than Good.

    LMAO at the part about the confessions.

    As soon as you brought up the chemistry, I totally imagined you loading out with DMSO squirt guns and spraying them all with morphine or holy water or something like that. XD

    As for the actual revenge part, maybe you went a bit overboard trying to sabotage the entire game, but nothing was really ruined. I’m assuming they just threw out your index cards, chalked your character up for dead and carried on as normal. Perfect role-playing imo, you stayed true to your character, and managed to “beat” them within the rules of the game. A+ effort Spoony.

  • Tim Anton

    If the GM would have been any good, he should have accepted the city-wipe. Doing not so simply showed even more how incompetend they were… a good LARP GM, especially a good Vampire GM should always reward creative and innovative thinking… even if your campain goes boom ^^

  • Anonymous

    hahaha that’s great

  • Jochen Klasen

    Awesome story, really like the Counter Monkey stuff.

  • Dani

    Ehehehehehe. It’s a shame he didn’t clear it. If you worked within the rules he should have.

    • Christina

      “You were killed by a pile of sticky notes. Thirty of them. Please pretend they exploded.” ;-)

  • Christopher S.

    Me and three of my players (we’re playing Vampire – The Masquerade for about 13 years now) just watched your video and we absolutely agree on your opinion about the humanity in Vampire.
    Our player characters are essentially a group of Vampires who only feed because they have to and who try to use their powers to make an positve impact on the world before gehenna, while fighting their own descent from humanity.. and I personally think that’s how it’s supposed to be.
    The most important question in our games seems to be how far one is willing to go to reach his goal, however important that goal seems to be.
    Therefore, we really loved your story about your personal Jyhad… honestly, those bastards had it coming, and even if it ruined the game session, the GM should have cleared it. That would have been an important lesson for those other players ;D

  • Anonymous

    Hehe! Gotta say, I laughed when I saw where you were going with the Semtex. I mean, if I were the GM, I would have laughed and said it was okay for you to do it. But letting a couple of the players survive the blast. Only because it would have made some interesting drama for the players to react to. I mean, the GM you had was a dick. I have two simple rule when I storytell a Vampire the Masquerade tabletop game: “Everyone has to have fun, and if you are a dick to another player, you have to face the consequences.” If I had run the game, then I would have made it clear to you from the start that anyone outside the two covenants would not be accepted within the princes domain. I would also have made the other players face the consequences for what they did to your character, should you have chosen to play someone that their covenant disliked. They have to think about the possibility of you returning with semtex and blowing up the building as a revenge for ruining, torturing and brainwashing your character. It’s too bad for them that they didn’t think about it, and had their eyes on you from the minute they let you go.

    And I see some comments about people not liking VtM or VR because of the whole: “there are no good guys”. But that is not the theme of those games. It is about you as a character trying to hold on to the few shreds of humanity you have left as an undead monstrosity. At the same time as you try to survive in a secret society parallel to our own, where these creatures have plotted and for centuries, even millenia on how to controle those they have seniority over and humanity. You can play a “good guy”, it is hard, but it opens up for great roleplaying opportunities and drama. What happens when you have to give in to the hunger  after refusing to feed of humans, and you have to feed so much that you kill a person? How will you handle that as a character? Will you give in to the Beast? Or will you try and better yourself, and rise above it? How will you look at the other vampires around you? How will you interact with these machavellian schemers, whose only goal is to ensure their own seat of power by any means necessary? Will you stick it to the man? Or join the jyhad and climb the ranks while you plot and scheme for more power? Or will you try to avoid it all and focus on regaining your lost humanity? Vampire is so much more than “boardroom katanafights in trenchcoats and sunglasses” or “sitting being emo and selfish”. And just because some people have had one bad experience with it, doesn’t mean that the game suck all the time. Find a good, and entusiastic storyteller who wants everyone who is participating to contribute to the story, not just a core group of players. And most important of all: Have fun! If it isn’t fun for you then don’t play it or tell the ST how he can make it more fun for you. A good and fair GM or ST will make that happen.

    • Jonathan Belina

      Condense that into five sentences or less & i’ll read it.

      • Raziel Raven


      • Anonymous

        I shall answer it as a Malkavian would: “Fish! Automobile! I like pogosticks!” :P

  • Moggy

    I’m glad you left the screen for a moment after saying ‘Bathtub full of Semtex’ because it gave me a chance to laugh without missing any more talk. That was hilarious, boosucks to them for not following through with it and learning a very valuable lesson about the difference between a computerised npc and a living human with a brain and a good deal of cunning. And a great sense of humour.

  • Spazfox

    Everybody loves Tyler Durden until they get their nuts cut off.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    that is the problem with 85% of LARP, its so cliquish and unforgiving for new players. if you’re not in the inner group when it starts you will get treated like a doormat though the whole thing.

    We have a rule at my LARP, no one can ever fundamentally change an aspect of your character without your OOC permission. So none of this domination bullshit.

    the goal of any game is too have fun, if you’re not having fun then its not a game. most LARP player just get their rocks off parading around as a bad ass, not playing a game.

    Kudos sir Spoon, Narcissistic players HATE it when the rules work against them.

    If i was your GM I would have patted you on the back and said “ok city is yours now, all hail the new Prince”

  • Conchobar1

    Great story. I’m never against those who would pull a “conversion” on a fellow player making a new character. I find it funny that other players are willing to pull this stuff in games (paranoia excluded), do they think the person they are messing with will not try to even the score?

    I do disagree with your stance on good guys in V:tR, but others have posted much better arguments here than I could.

  • Anonymous

    Lancea Sanctum: Leading by Example.

    We’re Doing It Wrong.

    • Jonathan Belina


      • Anonymous


  • Christina

    Wait wait wait… i haven’t played Vampire: Requiem, but if those ultra-catholic vampires think God has made them monsters with the purpose to “scare the mortals straight”, then them blithely murdering and maiming mortals makes no sense. (In addition to the blatant hypocrisy so typical of religious nutcases anywhere, anyway. Confession of your sins without remorse and without a intent to STOP sinning and murdering is pointless. But hey, that view “Oh I can just confess afterwards” was very popular in the real Middle Ages, too…) If their goal is to scare the mortals into believing in supernatural monsters and thus seeking protection and redemption in God and the embrace of His Church, then it should logically follow that
    a) they have to reveal themselves as vampires, breaking the masquerade, with all the resulting “witch hunt” reactions from Mankind,
    b) killing their victims while feeding kind of defeats the whole point. I could understand if the religious vampires decided to only kill “heathens” and “disbelievers” but they don’t. And in a way killing a disbeliever would be even worse. The point is: If they kill their victim, it’s dead. A dead human cannot rekindle his lost faith. Guess what, he’s dead. He cannot find the path to God and save his immortal soul, BECAUSE YOU IDIOTS JUST KILLED HIM. He never knew what hit him, and he won’t lead a life of good works and virtue anymore, because, eh, he’s dead.

    The old WoD gamelines always kept some connection to humanity. Becoming a total monster was seen as a bad thing. Characters either were human (the Awakened in Mage:tA, kinfolk in Werewolf:tA, revenants in Vampire:tM), or had at least previously lived as mortal humans prior to their transformation (vampires, werecreatures, wraith, mummies) or, in the case of Changelings, were born into mortal bodies and had their fae soul fused to a mortal human soul (except for the Sidhe who played Invasion of the Body Snatchers and simply hijacked a human body, replacing its soul with their own against their own or the human’s will instead of being born as a baby.) I much prefer the dark tragedy of Changeling: the Dreaming to the nWoD Changeling; I read the nWoD Changeling intro rules but then quit in disgust.

    Of course, White Wolf threw all that in the trash when they published Demon: the Fallen. On the other hand, the oWoD ended shortly afterwards anyway, so has anyone ever actually played Demon?

    Heck, even the Scandinavian KULT RPG, one of the darkest Splatterpunk Modern Urban Horror games I know, had a game mechanic whereby characters who go over to the weird side (“children of the night”, spellcasters, or characters who simply lose too much mental stability and descent into cannibalism or similar) become sociopaths, then transform into monsters and fall through the cracks of reality.

    • Christina

      “…you’re gonna join the Limp Dicks whether you want to or not.”

      If they think God selected them, and only them, to be his undead tools of scaring the mortals straight, why do they try to forcefully “convert” OTHER vampires to their cause? Do they think they can improve on God’s selection process? Kinda presumptious of them, is it not? Ah, the sweet stench of holier-than-thou prentetiousness of religious maniacs.

      So basically, they force other players to play what THEY like to play, instead of letting the newbie play what he wants? Because you know, it’s a game? For fun? Guess those guys had dictatorial leanings, eh? What assholes.

    • George Rosenbaum

      Wouldn’t it make more sense to just SCARE humans, without brutally and publicly murdering them? You know, do a little property damage, kill some livestock, scream ‘prophecies’ about how the town’s sinful ways brought the wrath of God. Every binge drinker and adulterer would turn their lives around in a heartbeat. And they wouldn’t have to die. :D

    • Anonymous

      I did like the oWoD Changeling setting a lot, despite the prevalence of stupid hippie thought processes throughout and game mechanics which were by far the worst of any in the oWoD. Though, I have to admit nWoD Changeling is kinda interesting, too (though I have no actually played so I don’t know how it works in practice).

      My first thought on reading nWoD Changeling was how awesome they’d make as antagonists for oWoD Changelings. Human beings from the past kidnapped and enslaved against their will, then warped by faerie magic and the Dreaming before escaping. They naturally are afraid of and hate Changelings and can hit them where it hurts — and worse, they’re pretty much entirely justified. Hell, some might have been abducted by those very same Changelings in the past. I think they’d work much better than Dauntain, which I never quite got. I mean… creatures of Glamour who are so infused with Banality that they seek out and destroy other creatures of Glamour, but don’t implode themselves? Wuh? How does that work?

      I also kinda disagree with your assessment of Demon. While I never got the chance to play it, from what I read it sure seemed like MOST demons were actually good guys. Only a relative few embraced their Torment and decided to go be as monstrously evil as they could be — and those that did were pretty clearly supposed to be antagonists for the PCs to fight. The only real wrinkle with Demon was the competing philosophies — some Demons wanted to control and guide mankind “for their own good”, others wanted to continue the revolution started by Lucifer, others wanted to try and repair the damage caused by the failed rebellion, and still others wanted to give humans their own destiny back, free from the manipulations of other demons, supernatural critters, or secret societies.

      It seemed like it could be a pretty good game, as most of the goals of the characters — even if they disagreed about what the final solution should be — ended up working towards the same ends.

  • yamina-chan

    You have told this story before (as I am sure others have said in comments). I remember it well. It was in a stream with…uh…some other people. Lordcat maybe? I don’t recall teh exact situation, just you telling this story and me laughing quite a bit.
    I don’t mind hering it told again tough =)

  • Anonymous

    I love how you pulled a Walter White on their asses. Sounds like this group was in the same league as those “Fox only, no items, Final Destination” assholes who can’t adjust to any new situation without it fucking up their world.

  • Christina

    A sociable gangrel… hm, sounds like what I was going for once, Spoony, see my comment on your “Invisible Jason” video.

    Such characters are always doomed to failure if the rest of the players (and the GM too) ascribed to the “being cruel is cool, good is weak” school of thought.

    Once upon a time, the oWoD was all about fetishising being a “rebel” and had its fair share of powergaming (especially Werewolf). Of course a lot of it was window-dressing; in the 1990s all “rebels” wore their uniform of black trenchcoats and sunglasses, kind of thing… but at least they tried. But it seems the nWoD is all about keeping the Status Quo and *not* being a rebel against the System, even if you are a freak of nature and a Creature of the Night.

    • Brad Eppes

      “Such characters are always doomed to failure if the rest of the players (and the GM too) ascribed to the “being cruel is cool, good is weak” school of thought. ”

      That and Spoony’s statement about playing good guys are together the reason I’ve never played Vampire more than one game session. The group I know that plays plays sociopaths even in games like Mutants and Masterminds (in the default setting where that doesn’t fit). I spent that entire game session trying to escape the party.

  • Anonymous

    Ive never experienced any LARPing as you call it , this sub-culture isn’t all that prevalent where i live.

    The only imagery in my mind i get when someone says “LARPing” is some bald 30-somethingyearold perma-virgin throwing rocks and yelling “LIGHTNING BOLT !”

    My view of this behavior is that people who have a hard time being respected/accepted in the real world hierarchy create their own “role-play” political vacuum where they take their frustrations on “newbies” (those who didn’t host the game) and there is really nothing he can do about it – the inner circle essentially writes the rules as it goes .

    Because WHO in their right mind would PAY the escort service to recruit people for this little LARP game? unless he gets a real kick out of it.

    It is in a sense; the only chance for an awkward nerd to be seen as a character worthy of esteem.

    • Jonathan Belina


      • Anonymous


    • Anonymous

      What you described is Turku school LARPers, actually. 

      And Turku makes me feel dirty just saying/typing. 

  • Christina

    “Turn the stack over, and you’ll see.”

    I love this. *grin*

  • Anonymous

    Hell hath no fury like a Spoony scorned. :-D

  • Brad Eppes

    That was your best story to date. 

  • Mackenzie T.

    That’s actually one of the things I like about the New World of Darkness: there aren’t any paths EXCEPT Humanity. You certainly CAN be an evil bastard, sure, but it’s going to ding your karma meter pretty badly, and there’s no way around it except spending experience to buy it back up. There’s a reason all the “evil” NPCs are at about 3 or 4 Humanity out of 10. Hell, hitting 0 instantly makes you mindless, bestial NPC. The Sanctum guys in particular tend to drop like flies. “Confession” is part of their belief system, but it doesn’t do anything to stop their Humanity from dropping.

    Of course, this is all the tabletop game. No experience with larping so I don’t know if the rules are any different. It sounds like most of the people you’ve played with tend to ignore the rules that don’t agree with them.

    I nearly died laughing when you said “bathtub semtex”, by the way :)

    • Christina

      “You certainly CAN be an evil bastard, sure, but it’s going to ding your karma meter pretty badly, and there’s no way around it except spending experience to buy it back up.”

      I hope there is actual roleplay involved, too, in that the character has to try to redeem himself? Not just spend some XP.

      “There’s a reason all the “evil” NPCs are at about 3 or 4 Humanity out of 10. (…) The Sanctum guys in particular tend to drop like flies. “Confession” is part of their belief system, but it doesn’t do anything to stop their Humanity from dropping.”

      Apparently those players ignored that rule.

      • Mackenzie T.

        “I hope there is actual roleplay involved, too, in that the character has to try to redeem himself? Not just spend some XP.”

        Of course! It usually takes an entire story (plot arc, multiple game sessions) to go up 1 point and you need to demonstrate that you’re actively trying to redeem yourself the entire time.

        “Apparently those players ignored that rule.”

        Which is a huge problem with PnP games, World of Darkness ones in particular. There’s a lot of stuff that seems hideously broken if you don’t read the fine print about what it *actually* costs you.

  • Anonymous

    The best story from you so far. Actually applauded at home since that really was a brilliant way to kick em to the nuts after they pulled that kinda bullshit. If they intend to raise their game to that kinda level, they ought to NOT take new players until they get to another beginner friendly phase. oh well.. you get rid of the vampires by blowing em with home made semtex hidden in a bathroom right next to their highborne. Spoony 10 / Vampires 0.

  • Anonymous


    Holy fuck that was awesome, Spoony! I actually clapped at how brilliant that was when the video was over.

  • Anonymous

    Noah, you are my goddamn hero.

  • Anonymous

    Very interesting story, Spoony. 

    I’m really hoping you read this comment, because I want to bring up another individual who attempted exactly what you did.  This is a true story that happened in 1605.   

    His name was Guy Fawkes.  In North America, people celebrate Halloween.  In England, people celebrate Guy Fawkes Day which is on November 5th.  Funny how you posted this story merely a day after!

    Guy Fawkes attempted to blowup the Houses of Parliament in London.  After King James attempted to establish the anti-catholicism act; the Catholics secretly enacted the Gunpowder Plot in retaliation of this.  The Gunpowder Plot was an attempt to stash 36 barrels of black-powder explosive in the House of Lords.  Had the plan worked, the entire Houses of Parliament would have exploded to hell and back 36 times.  However, Guy Fawkes got caught.  He was lynched with his men. They were drawn-quartered afterward. 

    As for the story with the vampires?  I think Spoony had pulled a Guy Fawkes on their ass.  Nice going.   

    • Christina

      I saw a documentary about the gunpowder plot that said one of the reasons the assassination plot didn’t work was because the conspirators had bought their kegs of powder from some shady dealer, and he had sold them powder that had gone wet and thus useless, that’s why the kegs didn’t blow up?

      • Anonymous

        That was one theory.  Another was that one of the members of the movement provided an anonymous tip to the Houses of Parliament.  The plan was busted on the day it was about to happen. 

  • Darklord Bright

    Haha, I like to imagine that your Carthian was this long-haired hippy looking guy, and he just drove off in his convertible wearing some big sunglasses with his hair blowing behind him in the breeze as he lowered his detonator and left the city, a huge explosion in the distance behind him.

  • andreaswii9000

    Someone needs to animate these stories :D Especially this one.

    • George Rosenbaum

      TGWTG has some affiliations with Happy Harry and Egoraptor. Someone could get them to do it.

      I’m sure Doug could get Egoraptor, especially since they went to a con together, doing a ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ skit.

  • Faust

    This story made me rage! I mean this is exactly why I hated Vampire players. Pussies. All. Real men played anything but, Werewolf, Mage, hell even that fey one.

    He totally should have cleared it. But Vampire people are such fucking narcissists, but here’s the thing – they lack the most basic abilities to accomplish anything interesting in their real life. Hence, Vampire: Masq is their time to shine (read: Jerk off).

    Way to go Spoony showing those assholes. The sad thing is, they probably didn’t even understand what you were doing.

    Vampire players = Assholes.

    LARP’ers = self-absorbed people.

    Vampire + LARP = self-absorbed Assholes.

    • Anonymous

      HEY, we weren’t all like that, geezus grow up. Some of us TRIED to make an oasis in the desert.

      “Real men”. Glad I’m excluded from worrying about that label.

    • Anonymous

      HEY, we weren’t all like that, geezus grow up. Some of us TRIED to make an oasis in the desert.

      “Real men”. Glad I’m excluded from worrying about that label.

  • Christopher Arnold

    Honestly, I want to see a movie made out of this. It’d be better then most of the shit Hollywood churns out.

  • eeeeeeee

    So…every video from now on is gonna be a Counter Monkey vlog?

    • Richard Yuen

      His website. He can do whatever the heck he wants.

    • Herman Cillo

       These are quick, fun and fill the time while we’re waiting for the next review.

      I don’t mind if I see more of these. See my comment above for my reaction to this story.

    • Anonymous

      It’s either this or Highlander.

      And chances are, either is fine with Spoony. 

  • Jaebird

    Hang on a second… You played a vampire version of Dr. Insano?!

  • Ehren Hatten

    Aaaaaand this just confirms why I don’t want to join Vampire, even though it looks really interesting to me. Good on you, Spoony. Those bitches shouldn’t be so damned cocky.

  • Anonymous

    I am all for someone animating this one. Nice move, Spoony! What an asshole thing for them to do. If they are that against other tribes, they could have said so at the beginning, at least given you a “You will not be safe on the streets so be prepared” kinda deal. I can’t imagine a game where everyone believes the same thing and basically forces all those who are different into becoming like them. I thought RPG’s and such are made they way they are to celebrate diversity, and like you said, to overcome differences to work together. Where is the fun of everyone walking around all the same with no real conflict? What a bunch of self-centered tools. They thought they were so clever too, so that makes this all the sweeter.

    Kudos, Spoony! Just a little after the 5th of November as well!

  • Anonymous

    fucking vampires

  • Anonymous

    I am all for someone animating this one. Nice move, Spoony! What an asshole thing for them to do. If they are that against other tribes, they could have said so at the beginning, at least given you a “You will not be safe on the streets so be prepared” kinda deal. I can’t imagine a game where everyone believes the same thing and basically forces all those who are different into becoming like them. I thought RPG’s and such are made they way they are to celebrate diversity, and like you said, to overcome differences to work together. Where is the fun of everyone walking around all the same with no real conflict? What a bunch of self-centered tools. They thought they were so clever too, so that makes this all the sweeter.

    Kudos, Spoony! Just a little after the 5th of November as well!

  • Richard Yuen

    I agree that what they did to you was ridiculous and honestly I think the GM should of OK’d it cause he did OK everything else of your character and said you could make stuff with your skills. Not only that but you did have another player watch as you did the roll to make the stuff and it is in the game rules.

    So by that standard you should of been allowed to do that…also…guards that don’t pat you down? Seriously? You could of went as far as thrown acid at the Prince and killed him like that XD

  • Christina

    Over here in Germany, people do use prop weapons in Vampire LARPs (and in standard Fantasy or Scifi LARPs anyway): plastic prop pistols and fake foam swords or prop knives, stuff like that. Sometimes however, people just use a stick with a sticker tied to it that reads, “this is a gun”, or “this cane is a swordcane”.

    (On the other hand, real swordcanes, being classified as “hidden weapons”, are expressly forbidden under German law; you’re not allowed to buy them, own them (unless you inherited them), carry them, import them from other countries, unless you have a permit as a weapon’s collector and even then you’re only allowed to put them on display with the sword outside the cane. So no stylish swordcane as an accessory in a Cthulhu by Gaslight LARP for us Germans.)

    • Christina

      In the city where I live, Braunschweig, there used to be a Vampire: Masquerade LARP. Not sure if it is still going on; 10 years ago it was going through internal troubles, people dropping out because they were pissed off about the clique of GMs. As I wrote before, I only attended twice, over ten years ago. As one friend put it, “Vampire LARP: standing around in the prince’s court looking stylish, doing nothing much”.

      But one thing that kept the game from getting completely stale and Status Quo was, during the local annual RPG/LARP convention they invited WoD LARPers from other neighboring cities: Vampire LARPers who brought their vampire characters as visitors from a neighboring “domain”, and one time I remember the GMs staged a big plot with the prince court being attacked by a whole bunch of werewolves and a vampire hunter, played by a group of Werewolf LARPers and one guy who played a Hunter. They actually invited those players over from Hannover, but didn’t tell the normal Vampire LARPers in advance. The werewolves hung out in a park atop a hill overlooking the building the con was in. Then, when darkness fell, the vampires heard a cacophony of wolf howls go up. They raced back inside the building, which in-character was supposed to be a night club or something. But what they didn’t know was that the Hunter was already inside, posing as a mortal clubgoer. I think some werewolves attacked directly, some entered via the Umbra, using mirrors in the building. But I wasn’t involved so I only heard about the details later. I think some characters actually died that day. And another year, the plot was that the prince of the city was assassinated or was targeted to get assassinated but he fled, while the usurper took the throne, and everyone had to chose sides. (Of course that plot was cleared beforehand with the player of the prince. I think he even initiated it himself because he didn’t have time anymore to turn up at every regular LARP game, so he wanted to step down as prince anyway.)

  • George Rosenbaum

    Holy shit, this is the most excellent story of revenge I’ve ever heard. My God, you are the man.

    • George Rosenbaum


      Figured I’d do it to myself. Forgive me if I’ve missed a joke.

  • Anonymous

    Good on you Spoony. Don’t get mad get even on those motherfuckers

  • water thenewking


  • Noah Hendrix

    vampire blenders!

  • Noah Hendrix

    vampire bleners!

  • Anonymous

    Wouldn’t it have been easier to just poison the food, and beverages. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome to go with a bang, but you’d think “Immortal vampires” wouldn’t get punked so easily by just explosives… grant it I know nothing about this Vampire RPG you’re speaking about, but you’d think it would make more sense if the prince held a toast and everyone drank their pitchers of blood (Kool-Aid) and died because you tainted it with holy water (Your piss).

  • Melly

    I agree Spoony, not much point in playing an RPG if your just an asshole and a monster.  I never understood people who would want to play the villain.  Heck, if you want to be the villain, be the GM.  But with the understanding that you want at least some of the PC’s to survive and win out over your villainy.
    -The JediChipmunk

  • Anonymous

    And this is why you don’t mess with Spoony.

    And what GM would let any player build a “bathtub of semtex”?

    • Anonymous

      it wasn’t a GM.  Spoony ask one of the players to be a witness to his actions.  that way he got more of a defence if the GM did do the right thing and killed off the other players.  Spoony would go though all the details:
      the DM Ok’ing the char
      the player vouching that semtex was made correctly in game
      and so on and so on
      (all while they one by one start to facepalm themselfs because he played by the rule of the game while doing this)

  • Shal

    I like the New World of Darkness, but not really Vampire or Werewolf. My favorite game in the New World of Darkness is Changeling, which comes with it’s own sort of dread since you’re trying to avoid the attention of the Fey.

    But when we do throw down in Vampire or something, we tend to make our own groups or avoid groups in general. In fact, one day we decided that Toronto, since it was barely given any attention in the OWoD, we made it so that while Gehenna happened, there was an underground movement to get people to Toronto and into the woods of Canada to essentially hide till it all blew over. Afterwards they set up a society that roughly imitates what existed before, with all the former groups still there, and only fairly recently did the new vampires show up.

  • Anonymous

    Good on ya Spoony, they totally deserved that after doing that to your character and the GM letting it happen. I would have loved to see the look on all their faces if the GM had actually let it happen :P

  • David ************

    Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
    the Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

    I see no reason why Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot….

    Spoony you are the friggen MAN!  I mean seriously you played them like a maestro!  Congratulations, evne if the D/GM was too much of a coward to let it go through.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, that was beautiful. If that had happened to me, I would have just left, but I think everyone who has ever been victimized in game by a bunch of closed-door elitist snob gamers can share in your feeling of triumph.  The story was so good, in fact, that it could be in Knights of the Dinner Table.

    I also think this needs to be canon in the World of Darkness setting.

  • Max Phillips

    … my respect for you just doubled after watching this.

    In *any* RPG, there are basic, underlying rules, and one of the chief amongst them (as far as I’m concerned) is not taking over another player’s character. No Godmodding what happens to them, no forcibly de-railing them, and so on and so forth. Anyone who does that to another player is effectively destroying their ability to roleplay and enjoy the game.

    Do you think you were acting like an asshole? Eh, debatable, but you were *justified*. Hell, I would have gone a step further by going back inside of the neutral ground and explaining everything that just happened out of character to the entire lot of them, just to see their reactions.


  • Mariofan

    This sounds exactly what I would do. No really I kid you nor I remeber having done something exactly like this but I just can’t remeber it in exact detail, Damn it! But you know what? when I did it everyone was just in aw in the fact that I had crippled and destroyed them. Oh and if I was the DM I would totaly let this happen just for the sheer shock of everyone realizing that they are dead and the class that they hate just beat them. Yea, I’m a snarky, sarcasic, and maniacle ass but there is just something about taking the low road sometimes! MWHahahahahahaha!

  • Joseph Hartman

    My god. That was an awesome story. I also wish to agree on you views as to why you don’t like Requiem. I never played it myself, but I am the kind of guy who likes to at least play a good guy of some kind.

  • Anonymous

    *jaunty intro music*
    Yakko: It’s that time again.
    Wakko: To brush my teeth with potato salad?
    Dot: To braid Ralph the Guard’s back hair?
    Yakko: No, it’s time to learn today’s lesson; and to find out what it is, we turn to…the Wheel of Morality.
    *Yakko spins the Wheel*
    Yakko: Wheel of Morailty, turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral Number 5; and the moral of today’s story is…
    Yakko Evil Demon Voice: Don’t EVER…FUCK…with the SPOONY ONE!
    Wakko: Can I eat that when you’re done with it?
    Dot: Boys…

  • David Gibb

    I don’t know much about Vampire, but the other World of Darkness games are not bad.  Normal WOD, and Hunter have a set morality system and most the players I have been with do go with the hero or at least generally good players. 

  • Anonymous

    so in a game about political intrige everybody had to agree and follow orders. They had it coming…

  • Herman Cillo

     New players had to play the Established Political Intrigue. Which is BS. See my post above this for my reaction.

  • Troy Bennett

    This EXACTLY….well, almost exactly happened to me in an online VtM RPG. It’s basically a bunch of self indulgent emo pansies all in one chatroom systematically tormenting other players just because they can, and they know they can’t ever ‘bully’ people like that in real life. Yeah, that game almost made me want to start a Hunter: The Reckoning game from scratch.

    You’re right. The whole point of Vampire is to play the villian. But if there are no heroes, what’s the point? Villians killing villians? There has to be SOME sort of protagonist for the game to have some power behind its plot.

    Well, since my character was very combat based, as was EVERYONE ELSES, when the other vamps finally put my character down after they had their fun, I basically told the GM, “hope you enjoyed hazing that guy, because I’m not rolling another character. Go fuck yourself.” 

    Around that time, WoW just came out, so I gave it a go, and haven’t touched chat room RPGs….well, any RPGs, since. I’ve only just in the past week tried D&D online, since it’s free.

  • Tony

    So Spoony basically won the game. :D

  • Herman Cillo

    Spoony, Noah, I think you did the right thing. As much of a dick move as it is, they started it by letting their regular players basically kidnap and torture your character into their servitude. The Gamemaster of that Larp should have taken those players aside and cussed them out for being assholes! Or he should have at least let you re-allocate a few points into some connections to get out of it.

    Honestly, if I’d been running the Larp, I’d have allowed it. But then again, I’d have never allowed such idiotic godmoding.

    Kudos to you, Spoony. You’ve just shown us why you don’t fuck with The Spoony One!

    As for the good Vs evil playing issue, sometimes it’s fun to blow off a little steam playing as an evil jerk. But that’s not something to do all the time. I’d much rather play the good guy most of the time and play only a little as the evil bastard.

    I actually don’t like taking evil paths in games that offer the choice. I’m a good guy at heart.

  • Anonymous

    You know, any DM worth this salt would’ve let you do it.  It’s within the rules of the game to do.  The DM “OK”ed your character and abilities.  It’s the other players faults for not checking you at the door.  It’s their fault for not watching you, as they said they would be.  And it’s their fault for not using “dominate” on you despite saying they didn’t trust you.

    Any GOOD DM would’ve walked up to all those people and said, “Guys, I’m sorry, but you’re all dead.  Roll new characters.  You were all in a massive explosion created by this character.  He did it as part of a revenge plot for forcing him to join you guys.  Maybe next time you either don’t force other players to do your bidding in such a way, or maybe next time you keep better tabs on him.  Roll new characters from level one, and learn your lesson.  You all got murdered by the underdog who was smarter than all of you.”

    In all honestly, if I was LARPing or not…  If my players were THAT clever…  I’d enjoy the experience more.  I’d enjoy creating campaigns for them more.  I’d be glad to HAVE players so smart.

    But hey, if the DM wasn’t going to allow you to do that…  And was going to allow the systematic railroading of other characters and their personalities and alignments so that they basically were NOT your character anymore…

    Then, you really don’t want to play with them anyway.  They’re just there for “wish fulfillment”.  And in all honesty, I kick those players out of my games, and avoid playing with DMs who are into that.

    Besides, wouldn’t part of the “political intrigue” portion of that Vampire game being…  You know…  History?  The nature of enslaved vs those in power?  Get more slaves than those in power…  And you get an uprising.  Honestly, it would’ve been a great turn.  Dictatorships in real life don’t last forever.  And they don’t for that one simpel reason.  Eventually, the stomped on get sick of it.  And when they do, those in power are ill-equipped to handle it, because they’ve grown too soft and squishy to ever expect an uprising.


    They deserved it, and all those characters should’ve had to reroll, including the “Prince”.  And reroll as level one pubelings (or whatever you want to call scrubs) with no connections politically, royally, or officially.  Make them have to work up what they had again from scratch.

    As I said before, any good DM would’ve let it go, and admitted that you fooled everyone and surprised them all.  Probably even ask if you were going to take over as “ruler” and Usurp the throne since you just effectively assassinated the ruling class of the city.

    • Anonymous

      100% agree with you. The ST should’ve seized the cool oppurtunity and ran with it; instead he threw a ST fit when things went pear-shaped. The “cool thing” of games that are left THAT FREE is that ANYONE can pull whatever is cool. And I cannot think of a more awesome thing than Elysium being blown apart by a vengful visiting vampire who got shanghai’d. 

    • jesternario

      Unfortunately, alot of LARPS, especially vampire have an “experience reserve,” where players can keep any experience they’ve yet to spend and a portion of the experience that they haven’t, so they would be able to make at least, a character of moderately power. Not as powerful as they were, but still close.

      I also know from experience that most STs of Vampire LARPS are usually part of a clique (I think spoony mentions this somewhere). They craft stories around a group, and do what they can to make sure that THAT GROUP stays in the story no matter what. Even if the ST had gone with the explosion and accepted the concequences, the core group would some how survive.

      Spoony would also have been on the receiving end of a major group beating from the players and the STs would either join in or not stop them. And then in the HOSPITAL would he have been told that he wasn’t allowed back.

      • Adam Barnes

        I have a rule for any game i run, be it LARP, or just tabletop.

        If you act like a wanker, i can, might and probably will help the other guys curbstomp so hard the curb becomes a black hole that sucks you anus first into a universe where buttfucking is considered an appropriate form of greeting.

        • Sandahl192

          I’m sorry, but they did start it.

        • Martin Bertelsen Vergmann

          You… feel that physical violence is a proper reaction to someone messing with your game? That’s kind of fucked up.

          • Adam Barnes

            In game, not in life.

      • Nathan Jacob Caudill

        the thing is if Spoony got physically beat down, then he would most likely sue their asses so hard, they would feel themselves getting buttfucked even before they go to prison.

        i would never allow a player to be treated that way and would call the cops if it resorted to that.

  • Ryan Kicoyne

    Well played sir. I had Mind’s Eye Theater turn me off of larping for years. Yet, I loved to play my Dark Ages Gangrel in tabletop.

  • Spencer Hamm

    I am fucking proud sir.

  • Anonymous

    This shit deserves a comic-book adaptation XD

    • Anonymous

      I know some people on DA that’d love the work!

  • Adrian Hamilton

    Lol. This is a great story. It’s just hilarious. 

    I noticed the vampire and werewolf world of darkness books at my local game store. This game does sound interesting. I’ll have to look more at it but I’d love to find out more about it. Have you played the Werewolf game of the World of Darkness or not, Spoony?

  • Adrian Hamilton

    Lol. This is a great story. It’s just hilarious. 

    I noticed the vampire and werewolf world of darkness books at my local game store. This game does sound interesting. I’ll have to look more at it but I’d love to find out more about it. Have you played the Werewolf game of the World of Darkness or not, Spoony?

  • Anonymous

    I cannot TELL you how deeply, DEEPLY in awe of you I am at the moment. The “Vampire” LARP-ers at my college ruined both my RP group AND pretty much overthrew the social group that I hung out with at the time: the local “prince” pulled dick moves left and right and nobody would stand up to him because they didn’t want their character fucked over (he was also a creepy, balding 35-year-old perving on a bunch of 19-year-olds, which, while  perfectly legal, really bugged the shit out of me at the time). This…gave me a very cathartic warm fuzzy in my soul. Thank you LOADS.

  • Yersi Fanel

    Nice! Very, very, nice. As a fellow Masquerade player
    I agree with your thoughts of Requiem and I applaud you for how you proceed
    after what was done to your character. A Real GM wouldn’t let something like
    what those guys did to you happen.

    By the way the neutral ground is called Elysium.

    Long live Malkav!

  • Anonymous

    ROFL! Unreal, utterly an completely unreal!
    I have run a couple table & LARP vampire games in the past; with all kinds of crazy ploys by players. But that would’ve both pissed me off and had me roaring laughing at the whole room. 

    Way I figure, the DM was still in the right to let the players do as they like….you fairly did the same thing back to them. It makes sense that the character (what had been tortured and brutally assaulted by the city; violated Eylisum(sp?); and outright lied to your face that you had safe passage. You character was enacting a level of revenge that, frankly, he never should’ve gotten away with.

    All that needed to happen was for the doorman to do a proper search of your character entering the Elysium and he would’ve have you dead to rights with a stack of way too many “bad things.”

    If the ST was willing to let the whole “capture and torture” thing slide he really should’ve let the “Carthegan retaliation” go off. Would’ve led to a very interesting twist of city politics.

    It really is a shame the ST let that opportunity slide by.

    OR if the ST wanted to avert a campaign shattering event like that; he might’ve wanted to sooth the new player (spoony’s) feelings about the whole matter. STs are there for new guys as much as the old crew. I’m not really sure what the ST was expecting as a response.

    Wish I had you in my Vampire LARPS and tabletops Spoony; maybe they scene would’ve been shaken up a bit more around here. XD

  • Anonymous

    You deserve five medals. First the RPGA, now this, you’re a hero to every gamer who ever had their character fucked over by asshole godmoding players and GMs. If they’re gonna take control of your character, it’s your right to be able to fuck them over back.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, Spooney theLovible Asshole!
    I’d done the same thing if I ever did anything like Vampire games!  Vampires were ruined for me long ago unless they’re the Dusk till Dawn, 30 Days of Night, or Bram Stoker’s Dracula kind. 
    The only problem I see with this is you had a vallid point and all and you were completely justified in what you did but thi is the kind of thing people attack you for for the rest of your excistince for.
    You got some major BALLS, man!

  • Anonymous

    I have to wonder if they tightened security after that incident.  Because I would love to see someone go in, and when the Prince asks what covenant they belong to, they drop their trenchcoat, revealing an explosive vest with a dead-man switch and two FN-P90s, and answer, “VII.”

  • Kevin

    nerf n force LARPing made easy!

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, you magnificent bastard. Honestly, I’m -damn- proud of what you did, and they all deserved to be blown to meet their maker. Railroading a new player like that was a bullshit move. Perhaps legitimate, and what would have realistically happened… but it was still bullshit.

    I don’t have a lot of experience with Vampire… basically VTM: Redemption and Bloodlines. But I definitely agree that the best games are with characters who are good, or at least have a certain moral code. Even when I’ve played a chaotic neutral character who had no problem teaming up with a group of Illithids if they’re working to the same goal as my character (long story for another time), he’ll at least have some kind of moral code like “everyone deserves to have the freedom to make their own decisions,” and he’ll fight to the death to uphold that. It’s maybe not the traditional “good” moral code, but I still see it as a pro-active and mostly positive moral code (and more interesting than boring old lawful good *smirks*).

  • Anonymous

    What happend afterwords?  did they findout what happened did they get pissed or did they laugh

  • Nick Burns

    You would think they would have filled you in on the status quo and all of that when you joined up so you could plan your character accordingly…

  • Anonymous

    I love this story, and it is a prime example of why I don’t play larps.
    We like to think, as gamers, we have some kind of camradrie, some kind of thing where we treat each other better than the mainstream does. The idea of a ‘core’ group of friends and a whole bunch of ancillary characters who aren’t part of the ‘in crowd, and frankly get treated like crap, dispells that entire notion. Which is sad.
    I’ve really only noticed it in Larps though. At the tabletop its just you and 4-5 friends. No one is going to raise cain if you treat an npc like a slave.
    Really, its hard enough to find people who share the same mindset, and who can actually pull the larp thing off. Why in the world would you do something like what Spoony describes, to the very people on which your games depends on?
    It boggles my mind, sorry for the rant.


  • Trickster Nevermore

    I have this sort of overactive sympathy reaction, where when I’m told a story, I can feel the emotions of the moment, and listening to this story, from the moment you said “bathtub semtex” I was filled with an overwhelming giddy excitement at how brilliant I knew this would turn out, and by the end, I was literally clapping and cheering for how much you fucked them up (which probably isn’t a good thing, since it’s 2:40 AM XD), even if it didn’t get made cannon. I wish I had such a perfectly executed revenge story to tell, and you are a very lucky and brilliant person to have been able to do something so grand. ^^

  • Anonymous

    You know Spoony, I’m totally with you. That was a crappy way to run a game, and you handled it with bravado. I wonder if there’s a way you could have convinced the GM to make it stick – if you had actually said ‘I want to make explosives’, had the GM supervise you doing it, jumped through all the hoops and written it down properly, and so on.

    Probably not, but if you had it would have been awesome.

    Anyway. I don’t think this is a problem with which edition of the game you’re playing, I think it’s a problem of who you’re playing the game with. In my experiences with oWoD, there was a local group of players (one guy in particular) who would talk all about how awesome it was playing Sabbat, torturing and murdering people, and so on. That’s one of the reasons I don’t really play Vampire, despite liking the game.

    I actually have (had, actually, on my other computer)  a stack of nWoD characters I’ve statted up that would either be good guys, or at least not complete monsters. I’ve just never gotten a chance to play any of them, because the WoD games I find do tend to be the ‘dark and evil’ sort of games. So there’s players out there who aren’t like that, you just have to find them. :)

  • Process bel

    Spoony I totally love you in a very heterosexual way! That was awesome!

    I almost played a WOD game myself. A friend of mine in college tried to rope me into it. We even rolled a character for me and took me to a player meet N Greet. I kind of wish I had played, but honestly between school work and personal issues, I never got the proper chance. Still after your story, Im kind of glad I backed out. 

    The one thing about WOD that rubbed me wrong was just all the etiquette and niceties you have to know. “Be respectful”, “don’t sass the prince”, etc. I even was playing around and suggested that I have this diminutive way about myself, calling another player “master”. Suddenly, my friend goes “no, don’t do that. If you refer to me as master it suggests Im responsible for everything you do. I may not want to be responsible for you.” 
    I mean it just feels like there is no room for imagination when you have to stifle yourself in this rigid almost totalitarian society. Seriously, if I wanted to live in a bleak, hopeless never ending nightmare as someone’s psuedo-sexual underling, I’d just go to prison. 

  • Anonymous

    1, I agree with you about nWoD
    2, IMHO, the biggest FAULT of WOD players is that they dont roleplay vampires, they roleplay vampires playing humans. WOD offers some amazing morality options with the non-humanity paths, yet everyone wants to stay a darned human, or the flipside, a jabbering sabbath grunt. I have a long dream of participating in, or organizing a WOD RPG where no players are allowed to follow Path of Humanity, and are both forced, and encouraged to embrace the alien and inhuman moralities thats the other paths offer.
    3, AWESOME!
    4, Any good ST/DM should have let that roll
    5, reminds me of the time when we sent the local tosspot prince into torpor by lighting a cigarette in front of him. With a hacked lighter that produced a one meter, bright as hell flame. Rötschreck baby, rötschreck!

  • Luke

    That particular DM only liked to play hardball when he wasn’t up to bat.

  • Anonymous

    Was I the only one expecting him to just detonate himself Suicide-Bomber style? Granted, getting away is always good and it was a good story regardless, but I was expecting him to pull off his vest and take those fuckers to hell with him…

    • Anonymous

      I suppose that’s what a Toreador would have done, probably after reading a *the reason I
      will blow you up now* haiku to the prince and uploading a post about it on his blog. They’re such drama queens.

    • Leonard Andrew Spencer

      It’s a shame security was so lax. It would have been cool if he used liquid explosive dyed with stage blood, with the card labelled “Thermos full of blood” on one side and “Liquid explosive” on the other.

      Of course I don’t know what rules WoD vampires work under, and am assuming Blade rules here.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, that was my thought. It’s probably what I would have done; wait until the new guy had left, whip out the “detonator” and open up my jacket, shout “Viva the Carthians, bitches!” and blow up the whole joint. Though Spoony’s decision was both funnier and smarter; I don’t care to think about what would happen if I were in the middle of a small mob of Vampire LARPers after I just nuked all their characters simultaneously. Those guys take their games a little too seriously, in my experience. I’d be scared for my safety, and I’m six and a half feet tall and 250 lbs, most of it muscle, let alone if I were Spoony, average height, skinny build with a heart condition.

      Besides, the DM was the one who really needed to have his nose rubbed in it. You can’t just let players abuse each other and derail each other’s characters like that. Very bad form.

  • bawoodm

    There are a lot of things a DM can do wrong but the one golden rule of how to be a successful DM is
    DON’T FUCK WITH THE PLAYER’S CHARACTERS. Also why wasn’t an eyebrow raised when Spoony said “I’m going to make a bathtub full of plastic explosive, is that ok?” Spoony was merely playing his character in a group of elitist snobs who were so full of themselves and so uncompromising as to let that happen that maybe even the DM was their thrall. This was a story in itself, of a small good minority taking out a large unreasonable evil force. Spoony One is the true 1%.

    • bawoodm

      It’s kind of late but you should have had the Demolition Man theme to go along with it!

  • Anonymous

    Hey Spoony…

    Okay, so, I realize that without context I’m just going to sound like a hater, but I’d really like it if you could stop insulting your fanbase in every other video. I’m sure some people got their panties in a wad with that Film Brain thing. I’m sure you’re going to get nasty emails and comments from V:tR players now. I’m absolutely sure someone spazzed the fuck out when you changed the opening theme. And that sucks. Honestly, it does, I wish those people wouldn’t do that. I hate it as much as anyone. But we’re not all like that. You make it out like your entire fanbase consists of Douchy McNitpick clones, and it’s getting to be insulting to the people who like your stuff and make the effort to tell you so in the comments. So… you know, please like us again? Don’t treat all of us like we’re part of that very, very loud minority?

    That being said, I really enjoy the Counter Monkey series :)

    • Anonymous

       Then some people should stop insulting him. One reaps what one sows.

      • Anonymous

        That’s exactly what I’m saying.

        Let’s say that out of 100 people watching this video, 3 leave a nasty comment or write hatemail.

        That sucks for everyone. It sucks for those 3 people, because if you get that upset over a funny video, you have problems. It sucks for Spoony, because he works so hard. And it sucks for those 97 others, because now we all look bad. And I wouldn’t mind if it was just one joke about how the fans are a bit reactionary (that Film Brain cameo really made me laugh). But it comes up a LOT. It’s sort of discouraging me from saying nice things, like maybe nice comments don’t count and only the haters get any attention. It sucks because the vast majority of us isn’t like that. And I thought that if it’s discouraging me from saying nice things, maybe other people are getting discouraged too. No sense in letting a small, small group of haters dominate the fan feedback. Are we really that bad? Really? Because that’s the impression I’m getting.

        I absolutely agree that people should stop insulting him. But they won’t, so I guess the next best thing is to not treat the people who DON’T insult him like they don’t exist. I mean it in the most respectful way. I’ve watched every single video on this site several times, I enjoyed 99% of them and I’m looking forward to many more.

        • Bobby Weiss

          A) It only takes one person to fuck it up for everybody else
          B) By bringing this up, you are only giving more power to the people who actually are the  
          C) He wasn’t really insulting anyone, he was just commenting on the fact that he would get 
              some nasty comments, as well as apologized for sounding like a jackass when he was 
              ‘telling people how to play Vampire’

          • Anonymous

            Alright, it’s just me. I’ll adjust my viewing behavior accordingly ;-)

    • Necro

      Which videos are you talking about?  Sure he complains about them, but he never said he hates them. 
      In fact, he proposed in this video that he actually like most of his fans.

      I also enjoyed most of his stories, but he shouldn’t continue posting this low quality videos as if this is his main focus of Spoony Experiment.  You don’t want to watch a celebrity talk show every time instead of watching a movie staring that celebrity.  To people who are anxiously waiting for his next major show, I advice not to pretend like you are being satisfied by what he has been doing lately because Spoony will get lazy and continue this trend. 

      • Anonymous

        I wasn’t talking about actual hatred, I never meant to say that was the case, and I’m certainly not going to look through all these videos looking for quotes. It just an overall impression I was getting. I wanted to throw that out there, see if it was just me. If it is (and I get the impression that yes, it’s just me) than I’m the one who should get the hell over herself, obviously. Still, just throwing it out there. Because I CARE, dammit!

        • Necro

          OK, that’s fair. 

          My impression on the other hand is that Spoony is being too sensitive about getting hate mails from his viewers.  Probably he is getting excessive amount of that sort of mails.  He is doing his best not to provoke these haters and trolls.  His habit of saying things like “I’m sure I’ll get hate mails for this” or “I shouldn’t have said that” clearly shows that.  Spoony’s impression towards his fans certainly suffers because of fan rages, but he is intelligent enough to know that not all of us are like that.  So, yeah I do get why you got that impression.

          I do understand his methods and its intent.  His strategy also brings piece to the entire fan communities based around Spoony Experiment, and maybe that’s also in his mind.  However, he should know that he will get the hate regardless of his effort because that’s the nature of his shows.  There is no way to avoid this, and his style will also suffer because the entire premise of his shows are based around his vivid and honest opinions towards pop cultures.  If he wimps out just so  he can avoid being bashed, he is watering down all of his jokes and rest of the shows.  But thankfully, he still got balls, and I’m saying these things because I also care about Spoony and his shows.  I don’t love him though, because that would make me gay!  Or maybe I am.

          Actually, I’m more curious about your opinion on his Counter Monkey series.  As you can see, I am fed up with these videos.  My question is, is there anything you disagree about my concern?

          • Anonymous

            My opinion? I usually try to put myself into the shoes of the entertainer I’m watching. I can’t even imagine the amount of effort that goes into a “proper” video, so I personally tend to be a patient viewer. I’ve been following TSE long enough to be interested in Spoony as a person, not just a video producer, so I enjoy this series very much. That, and I’m a huge geek myself, as I guess are most of the fans, so it’s interesting to me, how others experience geek culture, such as it is. It’s sort of a community experience, a subculture, and it’s fun for me to hear how other people deal with the more grating aspects of that subculture. Because let’s face it, some of the members are a little… intense.

            Would I prefer it if it was a little more spread out between actual review videos and such? I guess I’d have to say yes, but I think the reality of it is that that’s not always possible. I try to stay mindful of the fact that this is offered to me for FREE, for me to enjoy with no obligation whatsoever. These videos are essentially gifts, and the fact that the person who gives that to us can make a living doing it is just icing on the cake for me. When you look at it that way, as a gift, something that’s made for everyone and not just me, it’s a LOT harder to get uppity about not liking the things I’m being given. I appreciate the effort that goes into each and every video, even the shorter unscripted vlogs. This show is not being made for me, specifically, and different people enjoy different things, so I tend to gloss over the stuff I don’t personally enjoy very much and wait for things that are more up my alley. But I will admit that I probably wouldn’t have become a fan of this site if I had first stumbled onto it the way it is now.

            I AM a fan. I wasn’t kidding when I said I care :-p

          • Necro

            I’m just gonna keep bothering you because I’ve got nothing better to do
            [poke]>( ‘ ヮ’)つ) `Д ゜)

            I thought I was an open-minded person, but you are even nicer.  But maybe I am a little like a snob sometimes.  I got to admit that there is no point to be obsessive or demanding on something like someone’s web show, and I am, but that’s just a nature of my nerdiness.  Whenever I find something I really like, I either want it to keep up its style and become better at what it does so I can get constant entertainment out of it.  I’m sure there are more talented people out there who’s probably even funnier than Spoony, but I like him because of what he is.  So I expect him to at least keep up what he started and what I liked about his shows. 

            I can imagine myself as a father who’s demanding my kid to be an ace runner in cross country team he decided to join.  But I would never push him too hard and let him do whatever he wants, but I wish him to do his best at what he does well. 

            What I mean by this is that I wish he knows what he is doing and continue uploading his reviews and raging rants about video games and movies, which I think what he does best.  Besides, he sounds so proud about his works in commentaries.

            OK, I’m done.

      • Anonymous

        I personally actually enjoy this a lot more than the usual SE fare, especially now that Let’s Plays are off the table.

        • Necro

          That’s fine.  I am talking to fans who aren’t happy with his Counter Monkey videos.  As long as you believe these things have certain quality to it, then power to ya.

          Knit-picky grammar teacher freaks out and says, “TWO CONSECUTIVE ADVERBZZ!”

          Sorry I just couldn’t stand that (personally actually? Really?).  You are welcome to correct mine though.

          • weckar

            You’re right, should have applied parenthesis.

  • Benjamin Salario

    I love how you owned these guys and I’d wish the people who where present at this Vampire LARP would see this and comment their side of this story. Wonder what their excuse would be? Especially that douche of an DM

  • sev h

    this is a great example of why noah is so damn entertaining.

  • Zaublich Zordich

    GM was really dumb and lazy. Not restricting explosive to plot related matters at first and not turning it into nice conspiracy plot seems really strange.

  • Terri

    This may have been said a million times already, but I may as well contribute.  ^_^ Have we witnessed the birth of Dr. Insano as a Vampire?  O yeah!

  • Leonard Andrew Spencer

    In a rules light Steampunk LARP I played a scientist with the US delegation negotiating a peace treaty with the British. When it was revealed that the British had an orbital weapons platform which they were using to threaten us with annihilation, and I both didn’t figure out the “replace Queen’s brain with a US operative” story or hear from our millitary delegate that US pilots had stormed and taken the weapons platform, I pulled out a bottle of nitroglycerine and threatened to blow up the airship if Her Majesty didn’t sign a favourable peace treaty with the United States and hand the orbital cannon over to us.

    Of course I didn’t want to actually kill everyone and end the game, so I let the Queen’s bodyguard subdue me without dropping the bottle. Although they probably should have let me do it, as it was near the end of the evening and they had us crash and die to end the game.

  • Christopher Bond

    Spoony. Hi, first time watcher.
    I guess I’d like to say that firstly I hope you read your responses.
    My second is that in the new WoD games the whole thing is the defense against the mortal world.
    The whole meta-plot, if you will, is the need for that to remain out of the public eye.
    Taking that into account, often good (not all players and perhaps not the one’s you’ve played with_ become monsters not because they want too, but because they have too. If the Masquerade is breached they could all die, so if need be they will kill a human.
    It’s the struggle, that is the most important thing between practicality and morality.
    As far as there being no ‘good’ guys, that’s all about perspective.
    Although I can only speak from an Australian LARP game community.
    Dunno how you guys do it over in the States.

    Obviously they should take this from the Mind’s Eye Theater book. “POWER BLOCS:
    “THIS IS AN INVICTUS DOMAIN. OTHER KINDRED NEED NOT APPLY.”The Status systems in The Requiem encourages clans and covenants to gather and secure
    power for their own protection, and that should remain a strong element of the game in or-der to give politics real value. Never let the game get to the point, though, where players who
    aren’t part of the dominant parties can’t fi nd any point in playing. It might come to pass that
    a certain single group or affi liation holds full sway over a city setting. Maybe chance provided
    that opportunity, or maybe the group earned it through hard work and dedication to achiev-ing the prize. Regardless, it now fi nds itself fi rmly in control. But what happens to everyone
    else? Some players might begin to question why they even bother showing up, particularly if
    the group in power begins throwing its weight around in petty or vicious ways.
    Players on both sides should remember that even those groups who do not have a dominant
    role in a city setting are still important to the political atmosphere. While vampires of different
    groups might not fully trust or support each other, they realize that each clan and covenant
    has certain advantages. It is very possible to have a city setting controlled by one group, which
    still allows other groups to flourish there. There are things that other groups have access to
    that benefit a city as a whole, even if Kindred from opposing factions don’t like to admit it.
    Once power is secured within, a city can still be in peril from without. And protecting one’s
    holdings from all takers requires every advantage a city full of Kindred can muster.
    Of course, the Storytelling staff should also make sure there isn’t some out-of-game truth
    to reports to gloating, mockery and other player abuse. While it can sometimes be hard for
    players to separate in-character rants from out-of-game attitudes, few things can kill the fun of
    the Status system faster than having a group of players use in-game authority as justifi cation
    for making everyone else miserable out of game. It’s quite possible to have fun and enjoy the
    game without acting superior to the other players just because of a matter of in-game faction
    supremacy. It’s only a game, after all. Momentarily achieving some sort of position of power
    might indicate some cleverness and dedication, but it doesn’t entitle those players to rub
    their opponents’ noses in it out of game.

    pg 356 from the Requiem MET book


    • Anonymous

      Shame not even the World Storyteller at the time I was playing could be bothered to abide by that.

  • Troy Bennett

    It just occured to me. You basically made a vampire Dr. Insano and after all the brutality, just wiped out an entire 2 clans of vampires with SCIENCE!!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Way to greet a new player. ¬¬

    I had experience with larping before and it was mostly bad. I guess it can’t be helped since it was an organization that couldn’t even administrate themselves. Everything was wrong, like the always broken rules (with different mechanisms all the time) changing every years or even mid year and ending up reseting characters, serious lack of decent DMs (the only good ones were the one that owned the lands we played on and they only made a single game in all seasons), and most importantly, budget as the administration never had it and had to wait to get players subscribing for the next game to get it, meaning less time to complete the scenario and very, very crappy equipment. Aside of that, most DM didn’t have enough stuff scheduled for all players, usually means it’s always the same players that get the loots and quests and if they don’t, they steal them. Also, when the administrator modifies the rules so he can get skills to his advantage even if it’s illogical, I can confirm it’s broken rules.

    Oh well, I am sure there is good larp games around here, but my motivation with anything that is role playing was almost killed because of that (and online role play sessions).

    Anyway, Spoony, you have never failed to entertain me with your videos, especially this one as you have caused serious damage to the whole game (though they haven’t accepted this action, but still) without even breaking the rules and they earned it. Kudos to you! :)

  • Jesse Fehrenbacher

    Really, I would have to say, that’s exactly how I would have reacted, because that is one of the douchiest ways to greet a new player I’ve ever heard of.  Though, I actually probably would have tried to force the issue, but that’s more because of how big of an asshole I am when I get annoyed.

  • John Kayser

    Spoony, you absolutely ROCK. My hat’s off to you, my good man! :D

  • Nicholas Cook

    YES!!! ROCK ON SPOONY! OMG I would have done the same thing! 

  • Desiree X

    So far this is my favorite of the computer monkey videos. Not to say that the others are bad at all but this one was amazing.

    The second you asked if you could craft something I knew what was going down. I was just wondering how you where going to pull it off.  Very exciting, especially for just spoken word.

    (Dragon Age 2 spoilers!!!)

    Spoony is the Anders of the vampire world. I guess you can only pick on a hippy revolutionary so long before he blows everyone up.

  • Hannah Yanega

    Spoony, you brilliant man – 

    As far as I’m concerned, you played dead fair. They screwed you  over and you didn’t just flip out.

    You blew their asses up.

    Way to use your head!

  • bobbo110

    Really cool ^^ It’s not very surprising that they didn’t let your terrorist act through. But it would have been awesome  if they had ^^ I disagree with you on VtR though. Personally I just get stressed out if there’s a huge background story that I “have to” follow. I constantly have to doublecheck the books just so I don’t describe anything “wrong”. So having a huge prewritten world doesn’t really work for me. And I agree with many others here that you can play as a good character in VtR.

  • bobbo110

    Really cool ^^ It’s not very surprising that they didn’t let your terrorist act happen. But it would have been awesome if they had ^^ I disagree with you on VtR though. Personally I just get stressed out if there’s a huge background story/world that I “have to” follow. I tend to constantly doublecheck the books just so I don’t describe anything “wrong” instead of simply improvising. So having a huge prewritten world doesn’t really work for me. I much prefer the flavour texts and suggestions that exists in NWoD. And I agree with many others here that you can play as a good character in VtR, it’s very much possible.  

  • xxDrCrackbone

    Damn, Spoony. I’ve never been a roleplaying guy, but I would just LOVE to see you do some of this shit. Hell, I’ve always wanted to see some kind of re-enactment/adaptaion ever since you started these stories.

    I bequeeth the title “magnifiecent Bastard” upon you for your badassery and no-fucking-with-itude.

    • Brendan Tucker

      I shall go and edit the Spoony One tvtropes page now

  • C. Abrão

    You just made my day! You’re freakin’ awesome! Go Spoony!

  • J.G. te Molder

    That was awesome! You know, if I were the DM, I would have let it pass, make everyone get a new character, and you be the new prince of the city.

  • Anonymous

    Fucking awesome man! 

    Also, looks like your video has circulated around the official white wolf forums and it looks like your comments have managed to piss off a good number of Vampire fanboys, which could not have made me happier. 

    • Anonymous

      Link. link. please link. :D

  • Anonymous

    Wow what a bunch of emo assholes.  Sounds like some retarded stuff going on with those guys who converted your character. It’s just a game, nobody should be subjected to crap like that.  Silly how they have such hardcore racism in that game lol wtf?!

    Vampire doesn’t sound like fun at all if pretty much everyone is evil, what’s the point then?  Is it a competition of who can be more emo than the other group? lol

    • Anonymous

      If a group pretty much is emo/evil, yea, there is no point. 

      The good groups play to this little concept called “shades of grey”. Our court was by no means nice people, but we were honestly one of the LEAST destructive forces supernaturally in the area. True, we cultivated human herds, took blood the ones we preferred, but at the smae time, our court did loads of services for the community as well. One of us opened an orphanage and rehab center, and a very good one at that (even though a few promising youths would always be cultivated as ghouls for service to the court). We kept an iron tight reign on gang and drug presences, gave them only the narrowest of corridors to operate and made sure that none of their exploits did anything more than minimal damage to the herd. Also as stated before, our court kept their politics to their own backrooms. When we had common threats, you can bet every covenant in the area held their nose, worked together, and kicked the shit out of whatever was trampling up our nice neat lawn. Did we jockey for credit and plot against each other when it cooled down, you bet we did, but we never let the domain get threatened as a result of any of our actions, and god help you if you were an outside lick who wanted to take your political bullshit into our camp to make noise. “Come on down here to the mountains and hollars and say that AGAIN, mister high and mighty. Yea, didn’t think so.”  

  • Giles Meakin

    For the record, if I was ST for that game I’d not only let that action go through but I’d also shake your hand.  I don’t agree with you about Masquerade versus Requiem because I prefer the focus to be on the players than the metaplot.  However, if a game’s going to railroad characters from the outset without any prior notice about the way things are in that city, then it’s cause and effect that you went Die Hard on them.  They should have been smarter than that and tried more subtle ways of indoctrinating your character.

  • Anonymous

    That was fucking AWESOME!!!!
    Right on El Spoony One!

  • Anonymous

    Damn I wanted a more satisfying ending! Basically you telling them you followed all the rules, you have evidence you followed all the rules, and if they take this game seriously they have to kill off all the characters.

    RPGs are about consequences. Not every is going to take being tortured and manipulated lying down. It was a hard lesson in why you don’t put a person in a position where they got nothing to lose, cuz then they do…crazy things.

    They have no reason to be mad at you. If you just did it to fuck with their game that would be one thing, but they made the first dick move. They think they’re just “playing” their character, well so were you.

    I’ve played Requiem many times and we always play good guys, or at least characters with a sense of decency. However my friends and all always play storylines where our group is a band of misfits trying to walk the line with all these “evil” forces around us trying to manipulate us. (as you said everyone in Vampire is evil)

  • Peter

    You know, what’s ironic is that my first really GOOD LARP I’ve had was in Vampire: The Requiem, and my character was actually a fairly good character (Or at least he wasn’t explicitly evil) who wanted to obtain Golconda (Basically, how you regain humanity). Older Vampires typically become more evil, per se, as time goes along and it gets harder to resist the beast side of them. As for the torture thing, the Lancea Sanctum doesn’t usually convert with force FIRST, but try and win you over with words. But from the sound of it, this group weren’t really all that good at incorporating people into their group, so I guess I was just lucky to find a good New World of Darkness RP group (Not to mention the fact that they use a sort of D20 system with Playing Cards instead of the Roshambo thing where the target number is 8-10, and you add the value of the card to your attribute+skill).

    And hoo boy, jumping someone on Elysium (Neutral Ground) is a biiiiig no-no. In the books, that sort of thing is punishable by banishment or even immediate execution. I think you’re right about them not knowing the intentional way to play Vampire… Probably why I’m a bigger fan of Promethean: The Created, since it’s kind of hard to NOT be a good guy or at least a sympathetic character since their pursuit of humanity means they seek out morality (or at least, morality as they understand it). Plus I kind of like making up my own metaplot anyway, so while I disagree with you on the more character-oriented game, I’ve got to say that the really piss-poor methodology of this group in incorporating new players and even forgetting some of the basic rules of how Vampire Society operates can’t have helped your impression of the game, so I apologize for these really, REALLY bad players.

    • Anonymous

      No kidding. Sheriffs and Princes have gotten ganked if the Keeper finds out Elysium is violated. 

      • Peter

        And you know, I think I just had an epiphany. I think I know why the New World Vampires lean more towards being evil. Consider Twilight: whether you love it or hate it, it suddenly became the first thing to come to mind whenever you think “Vampires.” World of Darkness suddenly realized, “Holy Crap, our first flagship game is about Vampires! How can we make it as far removed from Eddy McSparkleton as we can?!” And thus, they do what most people do when the machoness of their series is threatened: Overcompensate! They make these Vampires as butch and badass as they possibly can, and since today Badass = Total Dick, they make sure that Vampires have a really hard time being good guys in any capacity. Through this, Vampire: The Requiem manages to stay far, faaar away from being compared to Twilight (Whether or not they succeeded in other departments is up for debate, though).

        And yeah, Vampire: The Requiem, while it gave me my first really good LARP experience, isn’t my favorite of the New World series (Hell, I’m not a big fan of the first three Flagship series, and I think most people prefer the ones released after Vampire, Werewolf and Mage since they seemed to have a lot more leeway). But a good RP group should get you interested and make sure you’re always part of the action, not get wrapped up in rules lawyering.

  • Ben Wolpoff

    I’m really digging the hell out of the CM videos.

    I also dig new WoD though, but Vampire always seemed like the least interesting venue for it. I think Spoony really hit the nail on the head with it, in that there’s not a lot of room to be a protagonist. In Mage: The Awakening you often need to cope with responsibility, Werewolf: The Forsaken (my personal favorite) is a story of redemption, Geist: The Sin Eater basically has room for whatever you want to play, Hunter: The Vigil tends to cast you as an underdog defender of humanity, and Changeling…okay I don’t know much about Changeling.

    As far as LARP goes, everyone I know who has been inclined to get involved in it has at least three horror stories about dealing with the Camarilla. I’ve always been more inclined towards tabletop myself, and global-scale campaigns seem to be inherently mired in bureaucracy. I guess what I’m saying is that I’d rather my friends together around a table. It has the added advantage of being able to set the stakes as low or apocalypticly high as one wants. 

  • Tim

    huh, this this is why SadPanda said that we should all hail you.  Life makes sense again.

  • Dan Nicholson

    That’s just…too awesome for words. Also, keep those Counter Monkey tales coming; they’re rapidly becoming my favorite feature.

  • Anonymous

    The best story ever… Revenge is a dish best served cold indeed :D

    • David Audell

      and with bathtub semtex, which, by the way, goes excellent with a glass of aged pinot

  • Farson89

    Spoony you glorious bastard, that was awesome.

  • The Mighty Wombat

    I’m not sure how nWoD tends towards the players being “bad” anymore than oWoD does. If anything, oWoD made it easier to be an inhuman vampire with the path system, from the (as I see it) simpler ones like Road of the Beast or the Road of Heaven to the crazier ones like Road of Bones or Road of Paradox.

    • Anonymous

      That was the Sabbat rules, a system made strictly for creating inhuman vampires…which the regular game didn’t allow. In my old regular RPG group NO Sabbat characters were allowed.

      • Thomas Osborne

        Wrong. What about the paths Assamite, Giovanni and other independents went for?

  • Noalan Eibon

    Oh god!  Reminds me of something I did in a Dresden Files RP.  My
    characters brother got killed by a Warden and for revenge I recorded
    several of the main characters, including a police officer, admitting to
    the Warden killing him and agreeing with him for doing it.  I then took
    all of it, plus some other evidence and sent it to the FBI and uploaded
    it on to Youtube.  Ya, the reaction was pretty much the same as for yours.

    That’s what I hate though, plot immunity.  All the lesser characters are
    supposed to have ICA = ICC (In Character Actions = In Character
    Consequences) but the main characters can do what they want with
    impunity.  I say good on you Spoony.  If I’d been running that Vampire
    game, I would have allowed it.  Maaaaaybe some of the characters survive
    some how, but the action should have gone through. 

    • Anonymous

      I’d like to think that if you were running it, you wouldn’t have let the other players fuck over another one like they did to Spoony in the first place.

  • Greg Steiner

    Is it weird that your story of your “worst larping experience” is the first time in my life I’ve actually thought that larping might be fun? I mean, seriously. Making 30 people nerdrage as hard as they can? Glorious.

  • Noalan Eibon

    The funny thing is, mine was even more tame than Spoonies.  I’d put everything together then told the moderator what I was planning and asked for permission to continue.  She flipped the f*** out, brought in people who I’d managed to video tape, yelled at some, got other pissed, and generally made it a huge mess.  The result was, everyone found out about it and no one knew if it actually happened or not.

  • Michael Wright

    Wow, that’s an amazing story, incredibly funny! Awesome job!

  • Tam Lin

    Anytime a player puts points into explosive-making, that should be a huge red flag to the GM. Particularly since most of us don’t know that much about demolitions and are probably unaware of how relatively easy it is to (literally) nuke an entire campaign.

  • Tam Lin

    Thinking on it a bit more, that GM really wasn’t thinking his campaign through. By allowing the Lancea characters to have unchallenged carte blanche on everything, he was sacrificing really great potential for storytelling. Having one tyrannical faction running roughshod over everyone could actually make a great story, but if it’s completely one-sided with no way for anyone to even attempt to resist then there’s no conflict, and everyone might as well not show up.

    • Adam Woods

      Politically and story wise, it makes sense.  For a long running game, it probably went in that direction and got out of hand, especially due to the forcing of the issue.  The problem I have is the comment from the GM, “you probably should have talked to me beforehand”.  Or, you should have OK’d a character before allowing it into the story.  If someone is being brought into the fold, they should be introduced to the people running it so that things like this don’t happen.

  • Chris S

    I am nearly on the floor laughing, that was an awesome story. I have never before heard a LARP story that ends with one character leveling all of his enemies with one detonation of plastic explosives. Brilliance.

  • Ben Watson

    I LOVED this story, Spoony. That was one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard. You were cool, you were calm, you were badass, and got back at those douchebags by basically holding up a mirror to their lazy, exclusionary system.

    I’m just getting into nWoD, but I’m playing the more basic version, with only human PCs, which I think is a lot more interesting because it makes players feel like the odds are stacked much more against them. I’ve never really seen the appeal of playing as a vampire/werewolf/what-have-you, because then you’re a part of the “Darkness,” rather than someone who has the potential to discover its secrets and try to come out (mostly) unscathed. Being a non-human in that world just takes a lot of the mood and atmosphere out of it, in my opinion.

  • Anonymous

    This was one of the best stories ever.  Spoony: 1. Vampire LARP: 0.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, you should’ve put this story up on their website/forum, at least in my town they got a forum for the Vampire LARP, and end with something alike to, “Yeah, you’re all dead. I hope you enjoyed that for ruining my fun.”

  • Anonymous

    You should’ve told people this story abit more. Like on their Forum just to give them the middle finger with a message like, “Yeah, you’re acctually all dead because you screwed with my character, have fun LARP’ing.”

  • Anonymous

    Oh man that’s freaking hilarious!

  • Anonymous

    Good story Spoony. I know a lot of people might disagree about the whole “No good guys in Vampire” comment, but I’m inclined to agree. In NWOD I tend to lean more toward Werewolf the Forsaken as they are(or atleast can be) legitimate good guys. Though, NWOD is really pushing the notion that nothing most players will change things on a global scale anymore, so not so much with the grand heroics anymore.

  • Hasan Mahmood

    Epic. Freaking. Win.

  • M.A Ajab

    That was an epic trololololing right there. XD

  • Borislav

    yeah spoony 1 vampires 0 :D awesome story i really enjoy thous videos :] 

  • Rom

    best story of all time. 

    We always hate when GMs and other larpers are against you at the start of the game. Good going man !

  • Anonymous

    “This LARP will only continue if I authorize it…. If I AUTHORIZE it!”

    • Anonymous

      you sir need a bagde for that bloodrayne refence

  • fluke

    you are a born storyteller, me like. I can relate to you although the only rpg I played was merp, maybe 15 years ago. anywhoo, keep up the good work.

  • Shadowdancer21b

    I hate new World of Darkness too.  Except for Changeling.  I think Changeling: the Lost is superior to The Dreaming.  I’m weird though.  Also stay clear of World of Darkness: Innocents and just get Little Fears Nightmare Edition.

    • Celeste LaScala

      Gonna agree, Changeling: The Lost is really making me want to get into gaming, just from what I’ve read of it.

  • Shadowdancer21b

    I take it you played Salubri, Noah?

  • Shadowdancer21b

    Elysium is what you’re looking for.  The prince’s court is Elysium.

  • Anonymous

    I dont think you were being an asshole on that one. It was totally unfair for the prince to have 4 of his lackeys to come and convert under penalty of death, especially to a player new to the game. It takes away from players trying to create and shape their own characters if the second you come in to the game the other players forcibly take control of you character. I think you were totally justified and kudos to you for outsmarting 30 people .

  • Anonymous

    Wow, that is probably the most bad ass story I’ve ever heard, and it’s from a LARP. Good on you man, I don’t think I ever could’ve thought of something half as clever in that situation. Probably would’ve just tried to ambush the Prince outside of neutral ground.

  • antiguo_primero

    I see why you got angry. Doing that to a Newbie is probably one of the worst things a serious player can do, not only because is basically bullyng but because its probably the fastest way to cut your community short and make you look like a real asshole.

    While I don’t concurr with your solution 100% (seeing from the other guy poin of view, it was terrible that a new player would destroy what could probably be years of game because he got snubbed) it was probably the most well though send off I had read. You went with a bang, in character and it would pass as a reminder to the group that just because one is new, if you play hardball, be ready to screw or get screwed.

    Great story.

    • qman311

      This is the drunkest post I have ever read.  That said, I still agree with you on a few points.

  • Anonymous

    All Hail Spoony, Let it be remembered that no one messes with you. That was an amazing story and I totally agree with you and how you reacted.

  • Patryk Halaczkiewicz

    Spoony trolls, no saving throw

  • Patryk Halaczkiewicz

    also, makes you wonder what the prince said when he found out the guard let through a guy covered with semtex

    • Anonymous

      Well, he couldn’t say nothing…
      Cause the prince had just been…
      *puts sunglasses on* Fired.

  • Johnny Lunder

    I’ve never LARP’ed and unfortunately it’s hard getting a game of D&D going here where I live ( small town in Norway ).
    But your Counter Monkey-stories are just friggin’ great.
    I was laughing LOUDLY at this one. Epic story xD

  • Daniel

    Remember when this guy reviewed video games and movies? Those were the days.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, well some of us like to hear stories from other games.

    • Anonymous

      Daniel, there is more to life than just video games and movies…and Spoony has done MORE than those two for a long time.

      Personally, I think TOO MANY people do video game and movie reviews. Nice to see something fresh and new.

    • Johnny Lunder

      Spoony has ALWAYS been doing tons of other things.

  • Anonymous

    They deserved it for their actions.


    They failed.  They just couldn’t deal with the consequences of their own actions nor shortcomings.

  • Kyle

    Their is something about your videos that always makes me interested in what you have to say. I know alot of use, including myself love to here you rant and rave but I have to say that these are the kind of videos I love to watch. You have this welcoming presence in each of these videos. Every time I watched these videos, now including the counter monkeys videos. I get this feeling of interest into what you’re reviewing or talking about. It’s because of you that I’m now getting into D and D. So I want to say thanks for all the videos you have made and many more you’ll continue to make. :)

  • Alex Perez


    There are no words more appropriate than those three to describe what you did that day. I think the stack of 5-4-3-2-1 index cards you handed to the guard and the detonator card you made for yourself are what sold it for me.

  • Nagneto Lives

    I agree with Spoony on the new World of Darkness, I hate how in Vampire they changed EVERYTHING. All the pre-established clans were either gone or radically changed, the laws changed, the meta conflict was no longer involving. It was like a totally different game.

    • Nagneto Lives

      And yeah, Requiem is too fucking evil. Masquerade was all about….UPHOLDING THE MASQUERADE by not being a murderous ass!

      • Nagneto Lives

        Oh and, that story was freaking EPIC. 

      • Thomas Osborne

        You say that like upholding the Masquerade isn’t an integral part of Requiem.
        Also, like I said earlier, there are no alternatives to Humanity anymore, so going full-on evil just forces you deeper and deeper into the arms of your personal Beast.
        …Of course, that’s assuming your GM doesn’t get fed up and get his hands on a copy of Hunter: the Vigil.

  • Anonymous

    Oh ho ho, this does bring back memories. I have three such tales to share with you. Judge if you will if they are as worthy as Spoony’s in epic fuck-the-prick-ness.

    Tale the First: In a regular RPG WoD group I once joined, the Storyteller in charge allowed characters from all the old books (mages, werewolves, changlings, whatever), but was extremely lax on checking the character sheets or making sure she understood the rules of each system.  During the campaign, a player running a Mummy character calmly walked up to the Prince and shot him in the face…and walked out without any reaction from the crowd.
      As a ‘button man’ Bruhah named Mr. White, I took it upon myself to give the player a consequence by shooting him from a distant rooftop as he lounged on the top of his townhouse. I made the roll, got the hit and did enough damage to send his brains to Chicago when the two werewolf players perk up and say “I stop the bullet”.
      What? Apparently they both had super-rare items (and impossible to get starting out) that made them invisible…so they ‘claimed’ they heard the shot and put themselves in the way of the bullet because they just happened to be there. Despite the fact that they COULDN’T have the items and the impossibility of knowing were the shot was from, the Storyteller allowed it. She also allowed them to track the bullet’s path IN THE AIR by scent alone and run to my building in about 3 seconds…and I was half a mile away.

      So thanks to someone not checking the rules and allowed three players that claimed ‘expert’ advice, my character was badly mauled before I finished chambering the second round. They actually killed him, but I managed to get the Storyteller to allow him to live if badly hurt. So I licked my wounds, had a private talk with the ST and didn’t appear in the game for a bit…until the ST annouced that the townhouse that the werewolves and Mummy lived in suddenly exploded while they slept. Thanks to a bit of pointing out rules in the book, secret messages and planning ahead, I completely incinerated all three characters in a way that they could not survive. I basically filled the basement with gas from a nearby main and set a timer with about 10 pounds of C4. Boom.

      To this day, those three refuse to talk to me.

  • Anonymous

    Tale the Second: We had a local LARP group in town that I was invited to join. I was interested as some of the players were friends and I set up my character. I created basically a Toreador pimp, and purchased allies, followers and property to allow me to make a club. My idea was to create a sort of ‘vampire speak-easy’, where I could supply vamps with particular tastes the kind of people they wanted WITHOUT worrying about public exposure or killing someone. I talked to the person in charge and they liked the idea…but had one problem. Seems the core group HATED people other than themselves having property, and regularly burned it down in about 3 weeks.

      This…did not sit well with me. Even though the one person in charged liked the idea, I was likely to be attacked and lose property because the older players didn’t like to share. Fuck that. So I talked to a few friends and we made a few plans.

      Opening day, I walked and I shit you not, I wore a bright pink tux with a giant furry hat, cane, sunglasses and platform shoes (all rental). Next to me were two female friends dressed in gold and pink 60s style Go-go dancers. I did my intro to the Prince…who had not recovered from being stunned…and loudly annouced my services to all. A mix of stunned silence and crazed laughter met us, while I had the girls turn on a beatbox and we danced around the place.
      On our way out, we were greeted by three  ‘henchmen’ that informed us that we were jumped and taken away in a van. I told them that the moment they did that, THEY were jumped. In the parking lot were three other friends, recently joined and heavily armed. After a tense scene, the ST informed the thugs about the ‘girls’ Dominate skills. And suddenly, I had 3 new employees.
      To make a very long story short, the Prince kept sending people to take me out, and I kept getting them Dominated, drugged, arrested, run over and once locked in a port-a-potty and encased in cement. The ones that turned to my side got a LOT of attention by the ‘girls’ and paid very well.
      When the Prince finally confronted me to declare Jyhad, I counted “with who?” I told him I was TRYING to make something fun and be peaceful, and you greeted me with hate and violence. I asked him once just to leave my ‘club’ alone. The poor man said no. So his own followers killed him.

      Today? That group is still going…but the old Prince rage-quit and moved out of town.

    • Anonymous

      That’s awesome. :Db The Prince majorly had it coming.

    • Adam Barnes

      I retract my previous worship of giftofthemagi and now worship the pimpmaster fang.

      • zhellas

        “Pimp Master Fang”

        Best name ever.

        • Adam Barnes

          I’m a student of the Harry Dresden school of smartassery.

    • Nathan Jacob Caudill

      “but the old Prince rage-quit and moved out of town.”

      that just goes to show you that the arrogant types wont accept defeat even after theyve been smothered by it. players like that dont deserve to be in any game group because they never play well with others except people like their selves.

  • Anonymous

    Tale the Third: I am NOT a fan of Con-LARP. The groups are HUGE, the rules too loose and the people range from competent to fucking stupid. Dickery happens way too often in Con-LARP.

      I once joined a WoD Con-LARP, where the group handed out random characters like a raffle. Mine? A Jamaican religious nut-turned-vampire hunter. The total group was 54 players and judges, including myself and my three fellow hunters. Our mission? Make vamps confess their sins and/or kill them.
      Now on top of the normal LARP combat and skill rules, they also had a ‘Luck’ system, where you had a Luck card that you could tear up to escape ANY situation. Thus we ran into a problem when we discovered that 22 of the other players were vamps, powerful ones and organized. My group managed to corner a few and successfully attack them, only to have them rip their Luck cards, warn the rest and decend on us like a horde. No matter what we did, a vamp character would rip his or her Luck card and negate any attack or skill we tried. They even used the system to prevent doors from opening or weapons to work.
      On top of that, a few vamps decided to skip the overall mission/adventure and began to forcefully convent ALL the human and mage players into vamps, got everyone into one massive group and marched down the halls, either killing or converting ANYONE wearing the LARP badge. By the end of Night 1, 48 of the 54 people in the game were vamps.

    So what to do? I noticed that in the few abilities, I had True Faith. A LOT of it. In WoD, True Faith means I can do all the usual anti-vamp stuff like hurt them or repel them with holy symbols and even do minor miracles (the only way we escaped the vamp horde).

    I could also make holy water.

    So my three teammates (who also had True Faith) and I had a talk with the building manager…and then a joint talk with a judge. Turns out that the convention hotel fire sprinklers had a massive water tank in their basement, that kicks in first before pumping water in from the outside. Also, the pipes themselves had a decent amount of water already in them. At the end of Night One, I told that judge that my team would spend the whole day blessing the water in the pipes and tank. He allowed it.

      Night Two starts and the vamp horde was quickly tracking down the few remaining hold-outs. As the one giant group moved into one of the ballrooms after me, the rest of my team close and lock the doors. I then cue the judge and he walks in. He tells the horde that they hear loud alarms and then the water sprinklers kick in. He pauses…and then tell them that EVERYONE takes huge amounts of lethal damage. Outside, he had barricaded the doors so it would take a while for them to break out…and all their Luck cards were ripped up.

      In one action, four guys killed 48 vampires. It was….so sweet. Next year, the Luck system was taken out of the game.

    • Anonymous

      That was incredibly epic.

    • Adam Barnes

      I kneel before you oh great one.

      I have a minor one, it’s not quite as good.

      A girly friend of mine convinced me to replace her ill boyfriend in a game of Vampire. I went along cus i owed her. We played out a scene in a club where the head honcho is this smooth rich arrogant dickhole.

      He tries to hit on my friends character and when i try to get between them, he arranges for me to get caught and tortured by some hunter characters. I managed to dominate one unlucky bastard in killing his teammates, freeing me and then i killed him.

      So i find out the vampires are going to be doing this bullshit charity thing at night, as an excuse to kidnap the mayors daughter, turn her and make her turn her own dad, before using him to make life difficult for some other characters. the charity thing is a huge water balloon fight between a bunch of hippies who are this Greenpeace sort of charity, and the vampires, who are all wealthy people. I convince a preacher to bless the water tanks the balloon are being filled from.

      the fight begins and they’re all dead by the time the hippies and other people realising the water is hurting them.

      They are all dead, apart from the rich snobby asshole. I took him out with a bottle of very old, very strong vodka and a lit match. They all had to make new characters, my girly mate and her boyfriend got to be the new head honchos in the city, and i got one over on the asshole.

      Not quite as cool as Spoony or Giftofthemagi, but i’m proud of it

    • Zefram Mann

      I wish I could like this comment more than once.

  • pool13

    Hi Spoony,

    first let me say, that i totally agree on everything you said before you told the story. Vampire ist about the eternal struggle to hold on to your humanity in the face of an abyssmal fate and keep yourself as far away as possible from the beast. I also agree that a lot of people completely misunderstand this kontext, and so a lot of players end up playing really evil assholes, because they seem to need a pressure valve to reach an equilibrium between their dark emotions and the phony good attitude they have to show at work.

    Regarding your story: That was some cool shit you did there, and again, i totally agree it was well deserved. They didn’t integrate your character, they treated you(the player) like a stupid newbie without welcoming you into the group etc. Your reaction was both approriate and nicely done.

    This was an assanine group, and the way they treated you was insulting and totally inappropriate.

    So again: Well done, and thank you for sharing this story with us.

  • Anonymous

    Great story.

  • JanusII

    you mean like Monte Cook’s WoD? or Vampire the requiem WoD

    Beacause….of course…in MC’s WoD The apocalypse already happened. Also it got really creative with the backround of the vampires (unless like in masquarade, where vampires are madee by drinking vampire blood on the edge of death in MC they are living people possesed by evil souls of the dead)…and i have to say i find MC’s vampires kinda cool(certainly more than Masquarade vampires)

    funny how i agree with your grip on the vampires. I either play scientist, who tries to cure himself and i play like a “side” skillfocused character or i play perverted nosferatu who was child molester, serial killer and canibal (in MC its almost allways Albert Fish based insane guy)

    i hate those EMOs you mentioned….either you are a monster or you are not….beeing something in between (and basically something completely unoriginal right out of the fucking handbook) isn’t sighn of good roleplaying.

    and ignoring what character does is a vaste of gameplay. Even when he totally fucks up your larpd (which we did)…. and for 2 likes i’ll tell you how :-P

  • Jordan

    Awesome!  Just…awesome!

    I suppose that’s what those vampires deserve if they don’t even bother to have simple pat-downs for the HEART OF THEIR ENTIRE POLITICAL STRUCTURE!  It would be like setting up the Oval Office at a 7-Eleven!

  • Anonymous

    The COUNTER MONKEY series is the best new series in a long time. Keep it up. Stories are great!

  • Jessica Jarocki

    That was a very interesting story and Im glad that you explained what the different types of vampires before telling the story otherwise I would have been like “huh? wtf is he talking about” it would have been larpy jibberish to me. But that was a really assholish thing they did and deserved to have their city destroyed they were lucky it was real life! LOL

  • John M Wells

    I totally would have let this fly.  My only critique is I probably would have taken the other newb with me to the car to avoid blowing him up and to set an example for him, as well as let him see the hypocrisy first hand.

  • Garvin Anders

    Spoony “I wanna make bathtub semtex”  Me (former Marine Combat Engineer) “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”    Thanks Spoony, I needed that and you just solved a problem for me.  

  • Garvin Anders

    Spoony “I wanna make bathtub semtex”  Me (former Marine Combat Engineer) “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”  Thanks Spoony I needed that and you solved a small problem for me.  Thanks again!

    • John M Wells

      I’ve gotta ask, what’s so funny?  Is that impossible?

      • Adam Woods

        I’m assuming as a former Marine Combat Engineer, he knew right off the bat what semtex is and how to make it.

        • Anonymous

          Im also curious about what he meant.

          • Garvin Anders

            It was funny because I knew exactly what was going to happen when he said bathtub semtex, which is possible and not that difficult compared to other explosives (it’s an exciting thing making home made explosives, the experience could end suddenly at any moment!).  Not to say that it’s easy mind you.  As for the second part of my comment, I’m playing a Zombie Game and Spoony just reminded me that I had to stop thinking like someone playing a video game and start thinking like a Marine again.  I had turned off my brain and that led to some problems, the semtex reminder was enough to get me thinking again.  Next Sunday is gonna be an energetic time for my GM. 

  • Anonymous

    DUDE!!!!! you are officially my RPG hero!!!!  you ROCK!

  • Anthony

    here is the thing, whenever i have run a game (RPGA Living Greyhawk mind you) I always played by a basic gaming rule, you live by the sword you die by the sword. So just for the fact that the entire group allows this i think allows them to be killed by this attack. I do feel that this was not trolling, i mean despite the fact that you were just doing it to piss people off and planning on leaving this afterwards, this was a well deserved revenge scheme, htat came off without a hitch do to players becoming lax in their own security and power. 
        Another thing i wanted to cover is how wrong it is for them to do that to incoming players, i mean sure some (read very few) players would roll with the punches when something like that happens. You are essentially ruining everyone elses good time so your few “core players” can have a fun and dumbed down time, and that is bullshit.

  • Anonymous

    That was easily the most brilliant of all the Counter Monkeys so far, Spoony. Truly you are a mad genius.

  • Bob Walsh

    Spoony, you should totally have these animated or acted out in some way.  Hell, put them on DVD, I’d buy it!

    • Anonymous

      I agree, have these stories animated, that would be hilarious.

  • Adam Woods

    Thinking about it, there are two other methods of completely screwing over an entire group like this.  Both requires unfettered access to the blood source for the meetings.  One of which, if I remember the rules correctly, will give you complete control of the group.
    1) Spike the blood with AIDS, HIV or some other blood pathogen.  By the rules to protect the vampires, you are not allowed to feed on the general public or you have to kill each time you feed.  You would be spreading, say AIDS, to the general populace fast and drawing too much attention.
    2) Spike the blood with your blood.  If another vampire drinks your blood three times, you have permanent obedience.  Immediately give the command that they cannot plot against you.  Usually, a Prince will have an initiate drink of their blood once or twice, then hold out for the third if you need to be seriously reined in.

  • Andrew

    My favorite RPG of all time. And I also despise the Requiem. The classic will always be the better.

  • Liam Keptner

    Regarding our hating on

  • Anonymous

    The only thing that would have made this funnier is if you went in there with the Semtex cards tapped you and then took your jacket off so everyone on there could see them and yelled “I AM TAKING YOU ALL TO ALLAH!  Then detonated yourself.

  • Anonymous

    Lol, the Larp I played in? Oh that shit would have been allowed. Hell, we got to a point of making the Vamps a bunch of paranoid nutters. Our Werewolf group would track vampires in the Umbra (spirit world). How? Well, blood banes follow vamps everywhere due to the corrupted blood that’s within them.  So we would have a couple of Silent Striders do recon where baneskins, an we followed the vamps… all the way to Elysium.

    Now, the vamps had way more XP on them than us as their LARP had been running longer, and they were being a bunch of hooting dickholes, IC or OC, so we worked out some payback. We surrounded the main room of the Elysium in Crinos form, then popped out of the Umbra as a single force, dropping explosives, hitting them with incendiary rounds, calling pack totems, and generally just creating a massacre. The Nosferatu players all popped Obfuscate to get the fuck of dodge, and thus, when the dust settled, suddenly the city’s Vampire population was controlled by the Nos, as opposed to the strong Ventrue/Toreador line we had had up til then. The elder of the nosferatu decided it was in his best interest to make a non-aggression pact with us, and told us about these really, deeply psychotic vampries known as the Sabbat. The game was afoot….

    A bunch of the older players cried fowl, but the ST looked at them and was like, “Well, next time, don’t piss off the things that can rip your faces off. Pretty simple, isn’t it?”

    • Anonymous

      Normally I do not do this, but this is seriously bugging me so grammar nazi ahoy!
      First, what you’re looking for is OOC = Out Of Character. OC is generally “original character”.

      Also, fowl = a type of bird. You’re looking for “foul”.

      Okay I’ll stop now those are just some things that seriously bother me x: *crawls off to her hole*

      • Anonymous

        Admittedly, I messed up on foul, and didn’t notice it til you corrected it, but as for OC/OOC, we generally shortened it to OC because we never used OC to mean original character, and it was just a little faster that way. No need to hide though.

  • Brian Weisberg

    I’ll have you know that I was doing my equivalent to crying from laughter at the end of this video.

  • Specter Von Baren

    Holy crap. I was just giddy with excitement when I realized what you were going to do. They SHOULD have cleared that simply because of how clever that was. That was really an impressive thing you did Spoony, especially after all the times you’ve stressed that you have a bad poker face. Man that was a great video.

  • Jonathan Andersson

    I kept giggling after the moment where you mentioned your high skills with chemistry.

    I also think that you should tell more of these RPG stories, because that’s fucking hilarious.

  • Daniel Heath

    I couldn’t disagree with you more about there ever having been “good guys” in Vampire. While it should be every players intention to hold on to as much humanity as possible, at the end of the day, you’re still stuck with the beast, still able to lose all control and maul anything in sight, still the bastard child of beings hungry and powerful enough to unmake the world. You have to think in shades of grey, though anyone who goes for the high profile evil like paths and Sabbat are playing it completely wrong, I will agree. The players should seek to avoid their likely descent as that is a core theme of the games.

    However, I’ve had LARP experiences similar to yours before, and I feel your pain. It’s sad when players do things like that in Live Action games. I had a story like that in oWoD when I played a Tremere.

    • pool13

      FYI there were good guys in the mascerade-story.

      The Salubri for example or the Capadoccians.

      They behaved like human beings, even more so the salubri were a clan of healers and noble warriors.

      Both clans are now extinct, so it was kinda obvious in what direction WoD would go.
      I tried playing a salubri in vampire and it totally sucked, because not even most DMs get the world right. It’s always about intrigues, evil deeds etc.

      • Raye Merici

        They weren’t extinct. Salubri are in the Sabbat to avoid the Tremere, and the Capadoccians were brought back as the Harbingers of Skulls, though I’m not 100% sure about the Cap’s I just remember reading something about the two clans being linked. I always played Dark Ages myself, so we didn’t have any Giovanni.

        • pool13

          As far as i know the Salubri antitribu as they are called now, are evil to the core. The Sabbat are using their hate for the Tremere to use them as shock troops.
          So you see Requiem does exactly what Spoony said. All evil, no good guys left. Same goes for the cappadocians. The REAL Salubri as a clan are extinct now(at least you have to come up wild a pretty wild story, to convince the DM to allow that you play one, because there are 7 left, all in hinding). There are a few left with the Nkulu in africa, but thats it.

  • Anonymous

    Counter Monkey is seriously the best spin-off series you’ve done so far! Really enjoying them, keep up the good work! Also, Oreo is just adorable. I don’t mind her one bit!

  • Michael Norgavue

    In a round about way every larp story I hear seems to be about Vampire.  I had a rep though with some of the larping Vampire players in my area and never got invited.  Thankfully what I missed was a clusterfuck that took 5 hours and went no where.  We always had problems getting a World of Darkness game going because aside from one actually amusing game of Vampire the Dark Ages we always had a player who wouldn’t play something out of the book of the game we were playing.  I love Mage but they don’t always work with Vampires or Werewolves and the sort.  That said if I was in your position I would have done the same thing you did but prolly wouldn’t have been as civil as you were about it.

  • Anonymous

    The second you said you wanted to make bathtub semtex i started laughing expecting this.

  • squall lee rhodes

    the index card countdown had me rolling on the floor

  • Whitemage1293

    ….Noah you magnificent SON OF A BITCH.

    “You can’t do that.”
    “I just did it!”
    “I JUST DID IT!” :D

    And I would too. Whenever you have the option to make explosives…and its a relatively stable one like C4? DM’s and GM’s should instinctively know “they’re going to find a way to maximize the usefulness of it”.

    And doing it in that style. Thats awesome. You screwed them up in traditional 80’s style. Did they all know afterward is what I wonder? Did the 30-some people get informed of how fucked up the ass they were if the guy running this show were to allow it?

    Also, I now attribute “This really isn’t appropriate” to “deus ex machina to avoid angry mob of players”. And hell, I’d do it just to see how people would roleplay it afterward with their new characters.

  • chuma-16

    and that’s how our world works

  • Scott Duncan

    Spoony i really enjoy hearing about your experiences with RPG’s as i myself have only just recently started playing so its interesting to hear about the kind of hijinks that can ensue when people get unlucky rolls and such for example one event that just recently happened to me was that my friend tried to attack me and missed so i decided to try and hit him back and he rolled to dodge and ended up knocking himself out trying to dodge it was pretty funny, gotta love those funny rolls

  • Anonymous

    OMG!!! That was so funny I would have loved to seen their faces, that should teach them not to pick on newbs or people with different characters. Thats story has brightened up my whole day.

  • j t

    If u do happen to do an animation sequence one day, plz have dr insano do something like this at some point in the story.

  • j t

    i would love to see dr insano act out a plot like this one day. maybe u can even make it part of a story line where scientists have been nearly wiped out by mystics, wizards, etc and they force the remaining scientists to join or die.

  • Anonymous

    White Wolf invites the comparison by calling it the World of Darkness. The problem here is a similar one to the problem with the new X-Com game: too much was changed, so rather than being an reinvigoration of the originals, they became… well… BETRAYALS.

    By themselves, the nWoD games actually aren’t all that bad. The game mechanics are far, far, FAR superior to anything in the oWoD. They’re easier to integrate together and the organization of the titles is better (effectively, nearly every supernatural thingie is a subclass of humans). Humans — who outnumber supernatural thingies by at least hundreds-of-thousands to one — actually are treated as first class citizens now. Really, there’s a lot to recommend in the nWoD lines.

    But, again, the comparison with the OLD titles is required because of the moniker given to them. And with THAT comparison, the newer games just can’t compete in ideas, stories, or presentation. The mechanics are better, but all the fluff is simply too radically altered with too few interesting ideas for old fans to really get behind them. They really are betrayals.

    You notice that no one bitches about Promethean, because there really wasn’t anything equivalent in the oWoD. Maybe the Awakened Creations or similar construct assistants from Mage: the Ascention, but that’s as close as you could get. Similarly with Slasher; there wasn’t really a equivalent in oWoD.

    Whenever you take something that was beloved, change it so radically that it becomes an in-name-only sequel, OF COURSE the original fans are going to bitch.

  • Anonymous

    Only reason I had half a clue what he was talking about is I played the videogame based off of this. Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines. Freaking awesome game. Well actually I think its based off the older one he was talking about with Gehenna coming up.

  • Anonymous

    You think with nerds usually being outcasts as it is for being different and outside the “norm” they would accept someone for trying to be “different” without converting them to the “norm”.

    I find that pretty funny in most nerd groups it’s like if you don’t go with their flow your like a black sheep or “that guy”. Like if 9/10 Nerds like Star Trek Voyager and you hate Star Trek Voyager and like Red Dwarf instead they’d be ready to hang you to a posts or beat Star Trek Voyager into your brain until you agreed yeah Star Trek Voyager is the best I hate Space comedies. You’d be an outcasts within outcasts.

    I was always that guy except I liked comic books and the whole DC/Marvel Universe, except I never really joined the fans behind the one super hero everyone loved, I always like the side characters no one else really seemed to like. So I took a couple of beatings in my day.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, you just pulled a Harry Dresden on those punks!!!  Epic WIN

  • gabriel wagner

    I run a vampire (classic) larp and I have to say…  I would have allowed this.  I can not tell you how hard I was laughing and just because you followed the rules and more or less would have forced a chapter reset.  It sucks that the ST red lined that but such is the way of sucky ST’s.  Bravo, sir.  You have made my day.  I find it unlikely but if you ever were to show up at a convention game I am running you will sit at a place of honor at the Prince’s council.

    • Willaim Tribble

      I don’t know much about Vampire, but considering what just happened, i think it should be written into the story. Spoony just single-handedly overthrew the corrupt political system of Vampire Phoenix Arizona. On a level of “WTF” and “Epic Win” this goes off both charts. If the writers of Vampire want people to take the Icarthians a little more seriously, I think they should at least take this vigilante justice play-style into consideration. :]

  • Anonymous

    *clap* Friggin brilliant! those douches deserved it!!!

  • the writer

    Spoony, you are my hero. The “countdown” cards were brilliant. Truly your assholery is on a level inspired by the gods. Bathtub C4– FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

  • John Gillick

    The banner ad at the bottom of the screen was for, “Vampire: The Masquerade: Redemption.”


    • John Gillick

      Also, fuck Metaplot.  Don’t hand me a plot, or punish me for not following your plot.

      • Anonymous

        Congratulations you are an idiot. Metaplot is a background. If you are regularly interacting with the Metaplot your ST is an idiot…

        Crying about the metaplot is like crying that you don’t get to decide American Foreign Policy.

  • Anonymous

    Yay! Ever since this Counter Monkey series started I’ve been thinking “When is Spoony going to tell the tale of how he got kicked out of the vampire LARP he mentioned a long time ago on LordKat’s stream?” I’ve never played in a LARP or tabletop RPG but I know enough to understand and love these epic stories. They are golden.

  • Raye Merici

    I like both Requiem and Masquerade. My group prefers Requiem though so thats what I tend to run. I never played as a Sanctified member, went with the Carthians or the Circle of the Crone. My Carthian vamp was a good guy, well girl I suppose, pretty much she tried to use her money to improve the shitty neighborhood that she had her haven in, at the same time she tried to eliminate most of the gangs and controls what was left. My Crone character…owned a library. Anywho I like both Requiem and Masquerade and will be a fangirl of White Wolf for a very long time XP

  • Erik Mattern

    LOL one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard.

  • Jonathan Chappell

    Ok ummm…I’m not a player but most RPG’s are essentials co-op affairs. The players basically turned this into PVP by attacking, harming and manipulating another player, and Spoony destroyed them for it. Seems like they brought it on themselves. I’m not sure how I would have handles this as a GM…I’m not entirely sure I would have allowed it per say and let Spoony abort the entire campaign, but I would have considered it a good lessson for the other players about not being dicks. Or at least not being dicks without being prepared for predictable consequences. 

  • Anonymous

    LOL, you sir are amazing. 
    You should have left the LARP saying “Yippie kai-yay motherfuckers”!

  • Lizzy Hayde

    I am going to write a Vampire the Masquerade movie for my ScriptFrenzy project, and this is going to be the opening scene. By your leave, of course.

  • Darke Mayer Goulart

    People who started playing RPG with D&D mostly like to play heroes no matter what system is.

    World of Darkness… I never liked Vampire, nor Werewolf (I hate apocalyptic scenarios). But I LOVED Mage: the Ascencion. It was so good in its kinda-ridiculous pseudo-philosophy, it was glorious. Also, it was the only WoD game where the main antagonists (the Technocracy) was not automatically a bunch of eeeeevil assholes wanting to end all humanity. They were your average Knight Templar organization: starting on a superior moral level than the Traditions (while the Hermetic mages wanted to keep conjuring beasts from Hell and beyond and act like they where demigods on Earth, the Covenant wanted to bring safety tu us, the Sleepers), they slipped into a kind of fascist view of things and shit started to get serious.

    But even inside Technocracy, you could have those heroic guys who shared the same overall goal (protect humanity), but also wanted to explore and fight eldritch abominations at the Horizon or Umbra. Hell, you could say that today’s world, where freedom of information on the Internet is the rule and everybody can access it with their small phones anywhere, is a direct product of Technocracy’s (and maybe the Eterites’ and Virtual Adepts’) efforts to make the world a better place. Of course, they had very bad people at their ranks (Iteration-X, Syndicate, NWO…), but it was a very Gray and Gray Morality and any side could be heroic as well as assholish, depending on the story you wanted to tell. You even had the “token evil guys”, the Nephandi, so you could make the Traditions and the Technocrats to cooperate under extraordinary circumstances if you wanted.

    Also, you could alter reality Matrix-style (even more if you were a Virtual Adept!). While those puny vampires could only get old and bored, and those werewolfs could only get angry and be corrupted, you could make reality work for you! Celerity, you say? Hell, I CAN STOP TIME, BITCH! You can talk with xamanic spirits, eh? I CAN CREATE SPIRITS, DAWG! (Hint: don’t do this during your game, or you will be punished hard).

    • Christina

      In Mage :tA 1st edition, the Technocracy was, unfortunately, nothing more than a cartoonish, evil group of fascist faceless enemies, mostly “Men in Black” who were all clones and who cold be mowed down by the player characters without feeling bad about it, because they dissolved into green goo, X-Files style. *sigh* And the 1st edition Technocracy splat books were absolutely ludicrous, absurdedly bad… that’s what happens when a bunch of writers who most likely studies philosophy and humanities or lit crit try to write a “science”-based paradigm. Sprinkle liberally with silly Postmodernism, add some 1980s New Age crap and 1990s anti-establishmentarianism and fake, trenchcoat-clad rebellion, and bingo, you got 1st edition Mage.

      Things got less cartoony and more interesting in 2nd and 3rd edition Mage, especially after WW published the awesome Guide to the Technocracy and the Revised Void Engineer platbook for 3rd edition. Of course, they killed the oWoD shortly afterwards, so they never bothered to revise the other four Technocracy splatbooks. And the final “Day of Reckoning” scenario book for Mage was so badly written and stupid, with Technocrats back to being mindless drones… let’s not talk about it.

      My friends and I played a lot of oWoD back in the 1990s. Our roleplaying group was made up of two biologists, engineers, IT specialists etc., so when we started playing Mage, back in 1994 or so, our first characters were Tradition mages but we always felt vaguely unhappy with the set-up. We started rebelling against the game system, playing sorta kinda Technocrats long before Mage 3rd Edition and the Guide to the Technocracy actually made Technocrats playable and cool. My Verbena found out he had actually awaked as a Progenitor but then been abducted and brainwashed by the Verbena because he had an ancient avatar with some Destiny to be the new Merlin of Britania written all over it. Despite marrying a werewolf, and almost becoming a Marauder, he could never quite get into the neo-Wicca spirit. Our Son of Ether owned a company that built submarines and deep-diving suits… he was pretty much a Technocrat in all but name, even after he found out that he was the reincarnation of a previous Awakened reality shaper called Captain Nemo. And so on.

      Years later for a oWoD crossover group, I went all out and built a Technocratic neurosurgeon with implants and a whole secret lab sanctum under a hospital. And he’d been in SPACE! (On the moon Io, pecisely. But everyone thought the photos over his desk were scifi pictures.) And he kept a tame, genetically and surgically modified land-squid as a pet. When the other characters (a Hunter, a female Virtual Adept, and a pacifist Bonegnawer she-wolf) first met him they thought he was kind of a weird twitchy med-geek with a weird fetish for squids, but otherwise totally harmless. Until we ran afoul of a hive of Tzimisce vampires, and ran like frightened monkeys. The neurosurgeon frantically phoned Operations for backup, and was provided with a twin duo of T-800 Terminators named “Smith” and “Wesson”. (They did talk in an Austrian accent. Why do you ask? *snerk*) After that, the vampire problem sort of… disappeared. In chunks of flesh. The gamemaster had a lot of fun playing the Terminators.

    • Christina

      “People who started playing RPG with D&D mostly like to play heroes no matter what system is.”

      Not really. I have met a lot of D&D players, mostly (don’t be offended but it’s true) Americans I gamed with via chatroom, who basically play chaotic evil or neutral evil sociopath characters who claims to be lawful neutral. One conservative guy even forced by character to kill a bunch of orphaned orc kids and then told me flat out that YES he considered his own character to be GOOD in alignment “because I kill only evil creatures, that makes me good”, and “those orcs would only have grown up to be evil” and if I don’t kill them now I’m aiding and abetting the terrorists. Uh, yeah. *cough*

      World of Darkness however was hardly better that that regard, despite having no “alignments system”. It offered your character his enemies and prejudices already pre-packaged for easy consumption. Every clan/tribe/tradition/kith write-up and every splat book for Group X featured handy-dandy short quotes that outlined who hated whom and who was allied with whom, and I’ve seen some people just eat that up.

  • Darke Mayer Goulart

    Oh, and to all people that say that the Storyteller should have allowed Spoony to “blow up” the game: sorry, but I have to disagree.

    The ST job is to keep the game running. He COULD rule out Spoony’s revenge from the game, because it would fuck up the game for the other players, no matter how asshol-ish they were. In fact, he was expected to do so, even if he allowed Spoony’s gimmick of bathtub-explosives earlier.

    But, of course, it was all his (ST) fault for letting the other players act like that with a new player. That is ALSO his job! He should have talked the other players from doing this, if not for some in-game excuse, for the simple fact that it was a totally dick move from them to do that, brainwashing a FELLOW PLAYER’S CHARACTER and ruining his fun. But he opted for the “Common sense? Never heard of it!” path, and that’s when shit went out.

    I never played LARP (not my kind of game), but I have a bunch of friends who play a Vampire LARP every weeekend. And, let me tell you: the LARP usually bring the worst of them out of their personalities. Talking to them about the game in a normal conversation they would tell me plans to kill this or that character they personally find annoying, or bad played, just to make either the player to roll a new one or to quit the LARP completely. They would, of course, treat the girl’s characters very well and nice, because nobody wants the girls quitting the gaming group…

    So I usually would suggest them for us to play a few Paranoia sessions, where they could betray each other with no qualms whatsoever (in fact, they are EXPTECTED to do that). But nobody wants to, because they only like to pick on fellow characters in games where they probably won’t be punished for it (while in Paranoia, everybody is backstabbing, and everybody is aware of it; is just that you are expected to be screwed, so just roll with it and have fun).

    • John M Wells

      I’ll take a game subject to causality over contrived narrative convenience any day.

    • Christina

      Yes, the GM/ST/referee is supposed to make sure *everyone* is having fun, and not just sit back and let a real-life “Lord of the Flies” scenario play out.

  • Bernd Mayer


    I hate Vampire LARP. Everyone is evil, a douchebag and a backstabbing bitch. It`s a social mindfield and everyone lives out their neurosis. Don`t like it, either.

    So Kudos for you!

  • JennXbox

    I had a similar experience with a similar group of LARPers.  Two major differences:  I was playing old WoD, and I was playing the oh so hated Ravnos.  Had I told them who and what I was, I would not have made it through the morning.  But alas, as I Ravnos, I was used to hiding my nature… And damned good at it.
    Still, my plan to get them back for being douchebags was WAY long and way more involved… I didn’t destroy the Elyssium, but I did Diablerie the Prince…  And got away with it.

  • JennXbox

    I had a similar experience with a similar group of LARPers.  Two major differences:  I was playing old WoD, and I was playing the oh so hated Ravnos.  Had I told them who and what I was, I would not have made it through the morning.  But alas, as I Ravnos, I was used to hiding my nature… And damned good at it.
    Still, my plan to get them back for being douchebags was WAY long and way more involved… I didn’t destroy the Elyssium, but I did Diablerie the Prince…  And got away with it.

  • lorinos10

    It appears that, in online terms, you suffered the equivalent of greifing. Even though the engine didn’t allow the ability to recompense yourself in terms of satisfaction, you got a lot further than most newbies in a game at getting a cool comeback.

  • blloyd607502

    What Spoony should have done was made piles of envelopes before hand labelled ‘Open at ‘Time X’ and asked someone to hand them out for him.
    That way every PC in the entire LARP would have known, not just the door guard and the GM.

  • Anonymous

    This was heartwarming. A really good story, how they had this coming :) I wish the GM would at least take this as a lesson for how to welcome new players, but I guess the only lesson learned was “Spoony is an ass hole”.

  • stainless_steel_fox

    Yay fellow Gangrel! Awesome! The safe haven is an Elysium. And it sounds like you got stuck with the moron group.

    I’m part of a LARP based on VtM, and I agree completely with your attitude towards the card carrying evil and angst monkey types. There’s a lot of politics, a lot of backstabbing but there’s also more than a few characters who are decent, or just trying to do their jobs, a bit more variety than the LARP you described. I love playing with the system to come up with something unusual too, like my current character.

    Joseph James is a 1930’s veterinary surgeon who uses his Animalism and animal ken to quietly be Dr Doolittle. Oh, he also hunts at nght, as a fox or bat (Protean and special bonus merit for the win!). Doesn’t kill humans, looks out for his fellow Gangrel, honours his word. Yes, he’s an undead monster, but the main change that’s made to his routine is his surgery times.

    He does fight back against his beast by setting times when he can let it free, hunting in animal form, though he usually doesn’t drain his prey to a lethal extent. I’ve had at least one Farthing Wood moment where he’s led a group of animals out of an endangered area in downtime, though he’s never used a trampoline. He’s so much fun to play.

    • Christina

      (Reposting something I wrote as comment to the “Invisible Jason” video five days or so ago, but it’s more appropriate here.)

      Re: “Just having the Sabbat as foes doesn’t stop the Camarilla from being nicer.”

      To be fair that’s kind of the point (or should be) with Vampire, both old WoD and presumably new WoD (never played nWoD): That vampires are unnatural monstrosities by nature, only some can fake it better than others. There are only different shades of grey and black there. On the other hand, the main theme of “Vampire: the Masquerade” core RPG, at least when you played Camarilla, was that the vampires tried to keep some shreds of humanity, *had* to hang on to some shreds of humanity, because otherwise you became a raving monster, and becoming a raving monster spelt your doom. Because losing all your humanity didn’t make you “kewl” and powerful, it turned you into a switching bloodcraving creature that slipped out at the sight of a candle flame and was destroyed by other vampires or werewolves on sight. Of course then came Vampire Dark Ages where you could pick from several codices of behaviour instead of following the Path of Humanity, which boilt down to powergamers taking the “Path of What I Was Going to Do Anyway” (no kidding, there was a path that basically let you do this and get away with it). Or people who played Sabbatites. I HATED people who played Sabbatites, or Ass-mites, especially in multiplayer chat games, because for every “honorable” Assamite there were 10 snot-nosed immature smegheads who roved around in gangs and who merely wanted an excuse to PK other players and then whine “but I’m merely playing my character!”

          That said, yes, years ago I did once try to play a “saintly” vampire in a pen-n-paper oWoD campaign. thin-blooded, Humanity 10, neonate gangrel who still worked his old job as a paramedic. He was even still betrothed to his living girlfriend. Of course, we played under GURPS Vampire rules so I had pimped him out with every conceivable advantage in the rulebook that helped him pass as human (i.e. can eat food, can make his heart beat, has natural body temperature and skin complexion like someone who just died a few seconds ago, breathes even when he doesnt concentrate on it or is speaking, does not fall into a torpor sleep when the sun goes up and can wake up from sleep during the day, doesn’t go nuts when he sees daylight, has a high willpower, no urge to bite his girlfriend in the neck), with Fortitude pushed to the max for a thin-blooded vampire, and he would only take non-aggravated damage from sunlight. So he would technically be able to go out in daylight, or so I had planned, while wrapped up head to toe wearing heavy biker clothes, boots, gloves, and a biker helmet with black tinted visor. Except for maxed out Fortitude and one dot in Auspex he didn’t even have any vampiric disciplines, being a neonate, so that whole “daywalker” thing was supposed to be his big advantage to keep him alive in the world of the Camarilla.

          Unfortunately, the same female GM who had previously ok’ed the character, who had even given me a single-player adventure where we played my character’s vampirisation, had unfortunately
          a) neglected to tell me that all the *other* players had unilaterally decided that they’d be playing ancient 8th generation powerful sunglasses-wearing mofos with phantom ghouls (Phantom ghoul = ghouls that you gain on a whim whenever you feel like it and that you didn’t pay points for at character creation nor apparently need to feed bloodpoints to because you sucked up to the GM, yeah that really happened.), and
          b) suddenly decided during the first session that she didn’t like the idea of my character being able to go around during the day, because it “didn’t fit with her idea of vampires” (ignoring that *she* was the one who kept dropping “Blade” and “Nick Knight” references into her game) and that “it would be unfair to the other players” whose centuries old Ventrue and Toreador characters kept steamrolling my poor neonate Gangrel. (Maybe those other players could simply play their own phantom ghouls if we really really had some plot during the day? No?)

          (Keep in mind this happened in the late 1990s or early 2000s… I think Blade 2 came out in 2002 or so… the Twilight books and movies hadn’t even been invented back then!)

          In the end the character’s humanity of 10 proved to be unplayable. Even normal humans in the oWoD had an average humanity rating of only 6-7. And the other players kept giving me shit whenever my character tried to save people instead of snapping their spines when it was more “convenient” to kill any “witnesses”. Uh yeah… in the end, my character sided with the Technocracy against the other vampires, and let himself become a guinea pig in a lab/vampire hunter on the provision that the Technocracy protected his girlfriend. Come on, those nice people with the weird Star Trek tech had told him they’d look for a cure to his semi-undead state and make him alive again. And I really really wanted to kill those other undead bloodsuckers. But the GM decided that I should leave the group instead. :-/

      • Anonymous

        And that whole post is why I didn’t bother with WoD at all.
        Despite all of its prose of claiming to be “Story-Telling”, more often than naught, it just turns into an asshole-enabler game based on single-minded predation.

        In the span of what you described, I noted at least two separate arcs/plot hooks that could be very interesting on their own. But that’s not the purpose of the game she wanted; which instead sounded like the prototypical “Sephiroth’s Gambit” game, where everyone is a dark brooding badass who kills for the sake of being badass.

  • Maxiveous

    seriously this is tremendous. Thank you for doing this. even if it might not have made a difference in that particular situation i feel like someone will see this video and it will make a difference. 

    Roleplay needs to have variety. Its not just a black and white thing. honestly personally i feel like all those guys were a bunch of punks and geeks who needed to live out some kind of badassery to make up for the lack of it in real life. I do like playing a badass now and then but vampires and the idea of vampires is more complex than them just being evil. 

    They aren’t any different then wild tigers. Tigers don’t Maul everything in sight just for the fuck of it. Yes to Maul is in their nature but so is to love and everything else. Vampires who were one of the originals maybe i can see being a little more heinous and vengeful and jaded after so many thousands of years and becoming bored, however a vampire who has been turned under a century depending on how they were turned will more than likely still have humanity in them. Besides killing machines are only interesting when there is a contrast. Back stabbers are only interesting when there is a contrast. If there is no real conflict than life and action is boring. This is the first rule of choreography (yes i’m a geek and a dancer, as rare as a Gangrel Carthian) and the first rule of drama which refers the theater which is just LARP heavily relying on script.

  • Alex

    This was the best story ever! I think an alternate subtitle could be: Lessons Learned the Hard Way. Keep on rockin’ Spoony. Also that sounds like the worst DM in history.

  • Brian

    Hey Spoony long time listener, first time poster.

    Good review Spoony, I have heard a lot of unflattering reviews about vamp larps. I’d say that from what I have heard about larps, or bad larps is that they have turned into bad caricatures of high school clicks.  This is a serious problem with the white wolf larp organization and it is giving a game I like a bad name.

    I myself have played requiem in online chat (mIRC) with friends. I have heard of the same problem as you in the past, with the characters acting like they are Humanity 4 (or -37 depending on the player) when they are around 6 or 7 Humanity. That doesn’t stop me from playing a Humanist character, but it can be a pain in the ass.

    Now I love the new vamp setting, the lack of end of the world met-plot is one reason. Not because it holds up the road of humanity, I use that path myself when playing characters. The lack of the world ending met-plot just isn’t an automatic concern plugged into the characters I make.

    I am not going to correct you (there is no need) on any of the rundowns of the covenants you gave because those are legitimate ways to play them, and unfortunately many people default to them. The new line is supposed to be a tool box for players, not a bible.  When it comes to game mechanics the book tells you how to play. When it comes to RP you can make your character, the political organizations and how they relate to others up to you and the GM.

    Finally, good job actually going through with the revenge plot. I personally hate hazing in general.

    I do not like what this type of story ark does to the game line; it keeps one type of player in (the douche-bag type) and excludes all others (like path of Humanity). White Wolf has put this game out there as a game you can play however you like, but this type of jack-assery is giving a very bad reputation to the game.

    There is another pod cast on the walking eye that talks about this very thing. I found it hilarious and a good warning to anyone who likes the system or either Masquerade or Requiem.

    I’ll post it below, but you can remove this posting if there is some legal or other issue with posting to another site. That is not my intention.
    Jen’s LARP Experience –

    Good review and keep killing bad game play,

  • Brian


  • Anonymous

    F Yeah
    nice job sticking it to them
    No Vaselined their game

  • Anonymous

    Haha. Brilliant. Fucking genius.

  • Anonymous

    I really want to say that your dog is adorable and found it hilarious that you are sitting that just going on about vampire larp and playing with the dog. Too cute.

  • Avishai Edenburg

    Not justifying the kind of ass treatment you got, but I think you (and, admittedly, some players) have some pretty glaring misconceptions about Humanity in V:tR and the Lancea Sanctum:

    The Lancea Sanctum are Abrahamic-Religion based (mostly Catholic, as you pointed out), as such- “Thou shalt not kill” applies, at least as far as humans go. Do they have any compunctions about killing other kindred? Not really, seeing as how vampires are essentially demons, but for the most part they’d rather convert the vampire in question, and follow the Prince’s word as it pertains to non-violence.

    They are not supposed to kill mortals, that is not their self-supposed religious role. Their part in the divine plan is, as you said, to scare people into a life of chaste goodness, not to kill them into eternal hell.

    Neither do they view themselves as “good”- they accept the fact that they are evil monsters consigned to hell, to the point that they view Golconda as a malicious rumor that serves to distract the faithful from performing their God-Given task with the promise of a heaven they can never attain. But while inherently evil, they do not revel in it, no more than any Catholic who believes humans are full of sins.

    All of this is true for most Holy Lance sects. Of course there are… deviants.

    As for Humanity in Requiem:

    Humanity is not a path, it is a fact under question. You do not choose to be as humane as you can- you MUST be. 

    Playing a vampire in the New World of Darkness is to constantly make compromises and balance between the demonic Beast which cannot go hungry and the post-human entity that houses it.

    The bit about the Lancea Sanctum and atonement is BS, remorse does not prevent humanity loss. Remorse is a natural reaction to a horrible deed, but remorse in and of itself does not lessen the impact upon the killer’s soul.

  • olivia

    This is great, my party has done a few things like that before, though mostly to other people.
    I’ve got to say though, I think your opinion is very bi-est. Not all GM’s play the same way, mine prefers that we not kill when feeding and rarely does the majority of the group or a part of the group go out of their way to kick a little guy who just joined just because of their covent. My GM also made the Prince of our city very Justice based and never lets laws broken, even if he doesn’t like it, so there’s never any forcing to join a covent.
    Another thing I feel needs to be said, is that you must not know alot about the Circle of the Crown. They are not devil worshiper, they’re Pagans who believe in the Crown, a vampire goddess who grants them their blood magic known as Cruac. The Crown is never stated to be evil or demonic and my catary have long sense gone over the details of finding out that, while demonic pacts are not all out condemned by the Crown that does not mean they smiled apoun.
    The main thing most people are lost at is the Circle of the Crown’s means of teaching. They general mato is “tribulation brings enlightenment” or in simplier terms, they learn all of their Cruac though pain and torture; their own pain and torture to be exact. This makes them seem evil and sinister but in all reality they do not have to harm a single human to learn their magic. Granted I have seen some cases of human sacrifice by a member of the Crown but he was a newly awakened elder who had been worshiped as a god in ancent Aztec and was long sense used to using humans as desposible things.

  • Martin Straarup

    hehe nicely done…
    Dont underestimate the power of crafting XD would have done baselessly the same thing.
    But don’t understand one of the beauties of LARP is realistic consecvenses.

    Usually play Fantasy myself, but tried the same thing where me and my brother came as monks of the good gods, unfortunately the city was ruled by the one of the evil churches. So in the pillory with us. A real one :)
    Still it was kind of funny, coarse 2 of our other friends came as barbarians that just started knocking everybody out.

    Was wondering have you ever bin to any bigger LARP senarios, like over here in Europe we have Conquest Of Mythodea (world biggest LARP 7000 players mainly fantasy mix with other stuff) and in Denmark we have(Krigs Live /War Live 300-500 people warhammer setting)

  • Anonymous

    awesome! ^.^ m/

  • mishmaster5000

    Hey, Spoony. Would you be interested in possibly joining a Skype VtM roleplaying group? We’ll also be running D&D soon and possibly a custom game (Although that’s up in the air at the moment; the DM lost confidence in doing it after part of it turned into one of the characters blindfiring and hitting several friendly characters which he interpreted as trolling.) We’d love another player.

  • Christian Kadelka

    Woah seriously. Never fuck with Spoony’s character or he will bomb up your ass Doctor Insano style :D Best revenge ever!

  • F. Maximilian Schneider

    There is a good reason Fantasy LARP has the victim rule (i.e. the victim decides the extent of what happens to them) and the “Your character has the abilities you can plausibly play out” principle. Players should always work together to make it fun for all, even if their characters are in competition.

  • Fifthrate

    I am so with you. Vampire was always fun because you were struggling to maintain your humanity while being driven to do horrible things. That’s what makes it interesting.

  • Fifthrate

    Oops, double post.

  • Patrick Callahan

    Thank you so much. This, right here is exactly why I play Vampire the way I do. Because being that one light in the darkness makes things that much more interesting.

  • Tim Dugan

    I remember you talking about this story on LK’s stream once when you were just talking about different games you’d played.  Nice to hear the full context though :)

  • Steven Kok

    This is a really great summation of Vampire the Masquerade (go classic!) and Vampire the Requiem (which I’ve never even bothered to read).  :) 
    Although, the Requiem covenant that “gets away” with doing atrocities because they go to confession afterward…. I’ve met living human Catholics who felt the same way, so not such a stretch for me.  I can’t agree with White Wolf’s establishment of them acting that way, but I can comprehend it as commentary on that aspect of Catholicism – something WW does a lot.
    I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that Humanity vampires who slaughter thousands because they’re evil vampires are being played incorrectly.  Thumbs up to you there.
    And bravo to you for saving the newbie.  :D
    The players and ST’s in this larp were pathetic.  Sorry you had such a lousy experience.

  • Jesse Melat

    Spoony’s spot on here about Vampire..both new and old, though I’ll admit I’m more familiar with the old.

    And this is coming from someone who….well, preferred to play “villainous” characters, too.  The problem was sometimes an overpopulation of villainous/evil characters, and more often that not…players who had no idea how to play a villain, or had no idea of how the villain role works.

    Villains are there to be _beaten_, defeated.  _Sometimes_ you can get a nice redemption story out of them, but really, if you’re filling those shoes, your goal should be a nice, Grendel-esque death.  Or at least an ironic/tragic one.   

    Stories have heroes and villains–there are no stories “about” the villains–those are called “anti-heroes” and must be handled with more care than is usually afforded them…..

  • Andrew Gillespie

    In all honesty Spoony? I’d have probably done the same thing. Yeah, you were an asshole but you put a bunch of bullying LARPers in their place and showed that you don’t fuck with the guy who can create plastic explosives in his bathtub. Great story!

  • Anonymous

    That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard anyone do in a LARP ever. I also always play the good guy in RPGs, it’s my morality, I can’t help it (not that I would) and I love comeuppance. I really do. Next time that I’m a newbie in a corrupt LARP, I’ll show them whats wrong with it (though not to the extremes that you went to Spoony).

  • Andreas Hallqvist

    Jesse Melat: Indeed. Those who just like the powertrip and kill everyone are just living out some sort of psychotic part of themselves. A good villain is part of the story.
    I played a truly evil character, so bad i had to go outside and drop character sometimes just because I was so disgusted with his actions. But it was part of a story that me and another player wanted to play out, of how the iredeemable one takes a new vampire with hopes of holding on to her human self and systematicaly destroys everything she loves, just so she will have nothing but him.
    In the end, her true love has found her and forced a caitiff to turn him so he can be with her. The scene where he is beaten and she is forced to shoot him – and the way she played her as cold and full of hate after that – was really powerful.

  • Anonymous

    Fucking epic man

    • Anonymous

      P.S. That guy was a terrible GM.  Having an active resistance movement in the city would have given new players who ended up in the same situation as you a chance to still play the characters they wanted to and created a ton of excellent adventure hooks.  You gotta be flexible when the players drive the action like that.

  • RosieRoses

    Very clever!

  • Princess Stabbity

    Just now catching up on these.. but oh my god. That was by far the most epic thing I’ve ever heard, lol.

  • Anonymous

    You, sir, have inspired me. I wonder what the Vampire scene is like here in Atlanta.

  • Dennis Venner

    annon Above me. In atlanta I can’t vouch for any Vampire games, but there is a Really good WoD group called Nightfall. They do about 4-6 Larp events a year (one every couple months) and they do the weekend at Dragoncon. They have Vampires, Mages (That would be me), Werewolves, other shifters, hunters…basically if you have a good backstory for it, you can play it.

    They are totally unlike the people Spoony encountered and there isn’t nearly the fuckery that he went though, I’m lucky, everyone is really helpful, the ST’s aren’t just running a wank fest, and if you’re an outgoing person, you can even make an impact when you’re just a newblet.

    While bad things can happen to a character, there are also plenty of good guys around to save the day too. It was funny, at the last Event (Last weekend actually) The ST’s pretty much swore at the start of the event that there wasn’t a question of if there would be a body count, but how high it would be. The weekend went off, and while we did lose most the city (normals), no PC’s bit the dust. The ST’s seemed pretty surprised by that.

    I’ve been playing with them on and off for a couple years, when I first joined I was a huge wallflower, and I had no idea what to do. At the most recent event, my little mage, much to his surprise, got voted to be the leader of the mage group in the town.

    They also run a mush between events/cons. So even if you can’t make it into the events, you can still have a hand in things.

    So um, if you actually come back around and read this, drop me a line and I’ll try and give you some more details ok? That goes for anyone in the ATL area (Or that goes to Dragoncon) who wants a GOOD group to play with.

  • nehebkau

    hah spoony beat ‘em like a boss :D loved the ¯_(ツ)_/¯ sup son? at the end xD

  • theInsaneArtist

    I wish you were at my first DnD group. It was the first one I ever played, though I had played console and computer rpgs. I was a hobbit thief. We start in a tavern, and I look around and see some guy reading a book. So I decide ‘Let’s make friends!’ I walk up, say ‘hello there!’ Guy nods, and goes back to reading. So I say ‘maybe I can start a conversation about the book. I look at what he is reading.’ The DM tells me my character is now having a seizure on the ground, foaming at the mouth.
    me: dude, what?
    DM: The man says ‘Let that teach you not to read a wizard’s arcane writings’ (or somesuch)

    So I spend the next 15 minutes with my character flopping like a fish, and then I have to leave to go home. Most of the players knew me, they knew I had to catch the bus home around this time, and said it wouldn’t affect the game for me.

     The next session, I find out my character was put in a bag of holding.
    me: okay, how can I get out?
    DM: You can’t, it’s a 4th dimensional pocket.
    me: What? Then what can I do?
    DM: wait until someone pulls you out.
    me: Ok, whose bag am I in?
    DM: you are in the bag of infinite holding on one of my own characters I put into the story.
    me: …

    So the game continues with me stuck, impotent, floating around in a bag, until 5 minutes before I have to leave for the bus the DM says his character sets me free. I catch up with the other players who just had this amazing adventure, and then I have to leave. At this point, I’m pretty sure the DM was just angry at me for feeling getting my ride home was more important than staying and playing.

    Needless to say, I never played with that DM again. (Though I will say this: There was a room we had at the college. A small room, two comfy chairs and a couch, where we played video games together during the week. Somehow, the DM was always there, in the same chair, all day, playing video games. I still have no idea if he ever actually left to go home. All I do know is, once we finally kicked him out for not having enough class hours to be considered a student, the chair retained his distinct BO funk. Not even a cleaning could get rid of the smell of this guy.)

  • Lockark

    So bassicly what your saying is. You won the vampire LARP.

    But yah. They were huge dicks 1st, and deserved it. It also shows the GM as haveing a huge duble standard. They basically killed your character.

    Then they cried foul when you killed all of thiers.

  • Derek B

    That’s AWESOME!!! You the true Spoony Bard, Noah. Holy crap. You are my hero.

    I’ve played Vampire once, and that was enough for me. They didn’t dominate me, but because I had the same name as a vampire hunter that they had killed two sessions before, they immediately staked me JUST IN CASE. WTF? Just in case, what? Well, just in case you happened to be another vampire hunter like the other guy we killed off. Well gee, maybe everyone else at the game should be slaughtered, JUST IN CASE. Sheesh.

    But good one on you.

  • Anonymous

    Great story and totally deserved of what they got imo, if there was a good Gm involved he would have let it go and explained what happened (or I guess taken the steps so that wouldn’t have happened in the first place).

    It kind of reminds me of a story I read a few years back in a now defunct mmo magazine about a story designer talking about a WOD LARP about how 3 people got together and were looking to take over and doing so by creating what’s essentially a suitcase nuke. The GM quickly realized what they were doing and put a stop not to the plan of taking over but the use of the nuke but still allowed the players to come up with another way to try and accomplish their plan without the need to wipe out the city.

  • Richard Price

    i think the neutral ground is called elysium

  • Anonymous

    I am loving these Counter Monkey stories, you sound like a really clever RPGer, and it’s fun to hear your adventures in gaming lol! Also, this story was freaking epic! Having played in an RPG before where the whole rest of the group was literally out to get me for no good reason, hearing about a group getting served is really hilarious! The index card countdown was a nice touch, lol! 

    Also, I’ve played LARP’s too, and it’s too bad to hear all the bad luck you’ve had with them. I came in as a new LARPer to a game in England, and although it still was kind of hard to get my character established, everyone playing there I talked to really made me feel welcome IC and OOC- I even got a boyfriend out of the deal lol! So don’t write off LARPs entirely just because you’ve run into a few vampiric douchebags- there are some good ones out there!

  • Caitlin Churchill

    I would like you to know that you are my new hero now.

  • Lydia Beam

    Spoony, you are such a fucking bamf.

  • Alex Mahinko

    I can’t agree with you more, Noah. Personally, I think the “blood-craven monster” characters are over done and ultimately boring. I much prefer to play a morally conflicted character, who is always walking the line between compassion and survival. They’re far more believable and interesting. I’d also have to agree that the New World of Darkness can’t compare to the old. In Masquerade, there’s all sorts of diversity and room to play a unique character.

    Suffice to say, I’m glad you put those power-gaming assholes in their place. I hate it when people need to be reminded that trying to “win” in Vampire is pointless and masturbatory, and that ultimate goal is always to make a fun and compelling story.

    Frankly, I think it would be epic to RP with you.

  • Jeffery Adam Phillips

    Oh man, lesson for all LARPers or RPers in general: Do not fuck with Spoony. lol

    • Anonymous

      Imagine Dr. Insano in the fan-made Genius The Transgression game.

  • Kalos Castalawavo

    Arguably there’s no good guys in the new World of Darkness, period, though that’s what I like about it. It ditches the meta-plot which means that the entire game series itself is way more open to the storyteller. They can take any one group (except the designated villain groups) of any game line and make them the de-facto “good guys” for whatever story they’re telling. Each playable faction has the opportunity to be the stalwart heroes of the land, or the bloodthirsty maniacs, rather than forcibly pushing people into an alignment based on their preferred moveset. It’s all shades of grey.

    Vampire is by far the worst nWoD game (though I considered Masquerade only mediocre so take my opinion with a grain of salt) but your experience with nWoD hinges ENTIRELY on the quality of storyteller at your disposal. Calling them a Storyteller instead of GM or DM even emphasises this fact. They’re not running a game, they’re not simply acting out the malevolent wills of “the dungeon.” They are telling a story first and running numbers second.

    • Hathor Liderc

      The thing about oWoD: If you play as a human, you’re proper fucked because EVERYTHING CAN KILL YOU!

      …quite easily, I may add.

      • Anonymous

        The problem with playing a game where the default premise of “there are no good guys”, is that it immediately leans towards Anarchy and Oppression.

        Which in terms of gaming, means less storytelling, and more griefing.
        Such is the case here, in Spoony’s story.

        Given such a premise, in a LARP, the focus eventually (inevitably) moves away from the story of the characters, and turns into a game where the powerful/old characters just kill the new characters for fun after the initial betrayal of each other. Once dominance is established, it turns into a Machiavellian affair; which is rather boring once you’ve seen it play out before.
        (and given how easily vampires in VtM can gain power/stats from doing so, this is a likely conclusion)

        If you don’t give the players even the option of retaining “goodness” (which in gameplay terms, often translates into ‘restraint’) they will quickly turn on each other in the bluntest and brutal of ways, until it turns into a giant PvP cock-waving contest (which can be fun at first, but quickly becomes annoying, and is the bane of LARPs that aren’t designed for it).

        It’s easy (and common) to hand-wave this all away with the “It’s
        supposed to be dark” or “It depends on the players/GMs running the
        game”, but this has been overwhelmingly the focus of many WoD games I’ve
        heard about and seen (and was the default premise of the only WoD
        session I’ve ever played).

  • Jason R. Woods

    I have used the term “Path Whoring” a few times myself.  I hated the Paths in Vampire: the Masquerade.  I loved that Vampire: the Requiem was Humanity path only.  And I agree on the most superficial viewpoints on the Covenants your dead on.  I think that, especially in a LARP the Covenants are played to superficial and stereotypical level. 

    But as a person who had played in a lot of VtM LARPS that was same for the clans.I swear I never met a Sabbat guy in a LARP who wasn’t stupidly evil.  I once played in a LARP set in Casablanca during WW2 (yeah that one) as Toreador playboy.  Nazi’s brought me in for questioning.  I just acted normal and smiled and told the Nazi interrogator the truth outside of being a vampire. 

    The guy playing the Nazi after the scene went, “Wow you are the first guy who hasn’t tried to use powers against me.”  I just looked at him and said, “Really?  I saw no reason to use powers.  You didn’t attack me, you barely were a threat to me. 

    Why would I use powers?”This guy playing the Nazi looked at me and was in utter shock.  I found out later that nine characters had died already because they had just attacked or used Dominate or Majesty or some other such thing, and the Nazis were aware of vampires and were killing anyone who acted like one.

    Honestly, the game you were in sounds like a bad LARP in general.  The worst thing to have happen is to have a bad LARP with bad storytelling staff.  Especially if the they didn’t tell you before hand that you made a character that wouldn’t fit in.  I hate games that do that.  I have no problem with a player messing up in game.  I have a serious problem with a GM who let a person make a character who doesn’t fit into the game. 

    The main GM should have told you that it was an Invictius/Lancea Sanctum ONLY city, and that you’d be an outcast if you were anything else.Also, that story is so awesome I owe you a beer if I ever get to meet you.

  • Ian Hawley

    So, everything said about gameplay in Requiem and Masquerade? Flip them, and that’s been (mainly) my experience with those games. Also, I never liked any game telling me “this IS how you will run your game, this IS the story, and no, you DON’T get to change it” which is why the only other NWoD games I enjoy as is are Hunter and some of the little spin off books.

    Anyways, I think the gaming experience of any one person in ANY game is placed wholly upon the shoulders of the Storyteller, and to a lesser extent, the players.

    I actually hated Masquerade until someone ran a great game, albeit mostly unrelated to the Jyhad (as far as we knew anyways), and it was a blast. This experience can apply to a bazzilion different scenarios with as many different games systems with as many different players. 

    And if I had your crappy gaming experience, I’d hate Requiem as well. If you’re ever in Denver, look me up, I’d love to run a fun VtR game for you.

  • Anonymous

    Holy shit, guys, I just realized that Spoony has now officially done #30 on the Things Mr. Welch is No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG list: “I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.”

  • Anonymous


    Although I have to question a GM who’d just undo that. I’ve never LARPed and I never played any tabletop RPGs (I’d give it a try with the right group of guys, maybe, I know enough about them just from observing to not be totally lost.) That said, it seems like you followed the rules and a GOOD GM would honor that and let it be a lesson to the players that the way they treat others has consequences.

    Of course, a good GM would probably also ensure a newcomer wasn’t treated so poorly in the first place.

  • Anonymous

    Noah, you are the goddamn hero of roleplaying.

  • Adam Adams

    When I was listening to your “Path of Humanity” speech, I couldn’t help but think of one thing: Edward Cullen is a perfect character for Vampire.

    I’m not kidding. He chooses to feed only on scum like rapists and murderers, he resists the urge to feed on Bella and refuses to Embrace her until after she dies from childbirth. Tweak him here and there and you have a good character for Vampire.

    • Pandora Orosco

       Yes, but he would be a thin-blood. A 15th Generation, guaranteed. And a very easy target for everyone else.

  • Sean Callagan

    It think the main thing here is that you can choose how you approach the orders.  You don’t have to necessarily deal with the covenants, or follow all their stuff.  In fact, you can join one and interpret the stuff in your own way.  You can be a member of the Ordo Dracul who’s just trying to break his curse since he misses sunlight.  I like the new WoD since you can have a character in a crazy order and still have a decent human…ish being.

    Now, admittedly, it’s kinda BS the way this one ran.  I would have probably reacted in a similar way to Spoony.  Less boom and more stabbing.

  • Kyle Rybski

    The moment you said ‘You’ll notice I have four dots in chemistry,’ I paused to let the laughter out and wanted to kiss you. I was thinking that the only reasonable way out of that situation was to leave the LARP and let them take the hint, but I knew at that moment that you were about to prove me dead wrong.

    Well played, sir.

  • Thay Log

    Spoony, I’m glad I found your site.

    You basically showed those guys that you can be a good guy and still demolish them when provoked as horrendously, if not worse, than whatever little “bad boy” they try pretend to portray with their characters.

    It is also an inspiration. Someone comes and tramples your freedom, even if it’s just a game? Well now they know better.

  • Jason Morley

    On the whole no-good-guys thing: I think the idea at least is supposed to be that if you read almost any vampire fiction with an emphasis on the characters trying to retain their humanity, then you see that bit-by-bit they lose their ground.

    They start off disgusted by the very idea of feeding, but eventually come to terms with the idea. Eventually, they have to kill in self-defence. Do that enough time and it stops seeming like such a big deal, so hey why not strike first?

    So whilst the young vampires can retain their own humanity (the rank and file of the sects), the higher ups are old enough to have fallen so far down the slippery slope they’re digging into the ground.

    I think the idea is your supposed to be fighting against your own decline, but it’s also supposed to be a losing battle.

    Of course a lot of players and GMs may completely miss that point and just just right off the slippery slope…

  • T.j Mc

    Personally, I have always preferred sandbox games so that you can do whatever you want without there being an established story that MUST be adhered to, which is why I always preferred nWoD myself, and never really liked licenced games in pre-existing universes with pre-existing characters.
    It kind of cheapens your own characters to a degree in my opinion.
    Also, I always have played a good vampire. Yeah, the covenants as groups tend to be fairly evil (as is The Movement in some of the books), but you’re playing a character, not the entire covenant. (:  Like someone else here said, the battle for humanity is kind of a losing one with night after night of bloodsucking, so the old guard have gone freaking insane.
    But, those players in that game were total d-bags. I mean, wow. What sort of player does that to another and what sort of GM allows it? Don’t take that to be what all Requiem is. (:

  • Craig Coletta

    The World of Darkness (old or new) always trended towards what you’re talking about, Spoony…like Marvel Comics since the mid 80s, White Wolf’s work is powered by the engine of TRENDY ADOLESCENT DESPAIR. And to quote the brilliant Flex Mentallo, “only a bitter little adolescent could confuse realism with pessimism.”

  • Joacim Johansson

    Jeez… You need to get your ass to Sweden! We don’t have that kind of LARP culture here. I’m a former DM if a vampire LARP and to treat a newcomer that way is just stupid. 

    Of course we have the odd asshole here and there but dose people are looked down on as bad players. Bad LARPers.

    A skill oriented character is always the best kind of character since vampire is supposed to be a political and social game. Not a “I HAZ ZHE POOOOOWEEEEER”-game.

    I completely understand why you did what you did! 

  • Anonymous

    Ah, our daring midnight raids on the Elysium…. I used to play in a huge LARP that had both a Vamp LARP, and a Werewolf LARP. Well, the Vamp one had started first, so the Vampires were significantly more powerful when the Garou came into play, they decided they were gonna start rolling on us. So they had these werewolf hitsquads, with one member popping Auspex, and armed to the teeth with silver, flashbangs and the like to screw us over.

    Well, my character lost several packmates to it finally, and became bound and determined I was putting a stop to this. So I started my own hunt, with my Glass Walker dedicating as many weapons and munitions as possible, creating his own unique grenades, where the pins were tied on to his dedicated combat vest. It should be noted that the grenades themselves were decidedly *not* dedicated, but that still left me with a problem: Where the hell are the vampires?

    So I’m going through the books, poring over various types of spirits when I find my salvation in Blood Banes. For those that don’t know, Banes are corrupting spirits of the Wyrm, with Blood banes focusing on corruptions of the blood. This means that blood banes follow vampires on, but in the Spirit World. Laughing maniacally, I ran off to our ST (This worried the rest of the Garou crowd), and confirmed that this worked like I thought it did, and the plan was in motion. I spent weeks following vamps in the Umbra while wearing a baneskin so the banes wouldn’t come at me, marking out waypoints wherever congregations of them would occur. I even started figuring out general power level based upon the number of banes following them. This finally led me back to the Elysium, since it was the thickest with blood banes.

    I return to the sept, and report to the Elder Ahroun, a Get of Fenris who has lost an eye to one of the vamp squads…. so he’s one board. It turns out that the Elysium is in a museum of all places, and so we set about our first strike. While we prep, we start going to other septs, getting more Garou for the strike, and basically get set to jump them in a way they were blatantly unprepared for, including a stop off in the Umbra to the Helios realm to make sun grenades.

    The first stage was for me to actually walk into the Elysium in the open, so I could carry my grenades through the front door. By this point, they’d gotten arrogant and made not one single check of my weapons or gear. So I’m standing in the center of a mass of leeches, and I smile, “Here’s the deal- We’re sick of the attacks, so I’m giving you all one last chance to walk away from this.”

    They laughed, and I handed off a note to the Vamp ST, stating I was dropping a point of gnosis to instantly shift to the Umbra while the now unpinned helios grenades stayed in the real world, with only a 1 second fuse on them. One player called foul on it, stating that I had to have a reflective surface to shift through, to which I raised the back of my shirt, where I had a real camping mirror masking taped to my back. This necessitated a call to the Main ST, that started off, “The cluster fuck has formed!”

    My popping into the Umbra signalled the rest of the team that it was time to strike, and suddenly, it was nearly fifty Garou versus two dozen blinded vamps, with half of them in Rhotshrek. Needless to say, the fight  didn’t last long for them. So, pretty much every vamp player is calling foul by now, and our head ST shows up to inform them that it was by the book.

    Well, the little cam bastards tried to get the mill rolling again after they moved the Elysium elsewhere… and we paid them a visit again, wiping out all the vamps but one, the weakest one, and proclaiming him “Prince”. Sure, he was a Malkav, but like we knew what that was.

    • Nathan Jacob Caudill

      wow, that kicked the ass of the ass.

      what were their reactions? i always love hearing about douchebag players ragequitting because they got buttfucked by the innocent/newbie ones they tried to buttfuck >:3

      • SeanMcTiernan

        What’s funny is that they couldn’t figure out how I kept finding them and infiltrating the Elysium grounds. We must have fulled the same trick at least a dozen times, and they simply couldn’t think around the probem. It was an obscure line in one book. So, the Vamp players are screaming louder and louder about it, but can’t do much of anything.

        They did finally get one Prince who had enough of a brain in her head to come up with a way to get us off of them: She calmly explained to us what the Sabbat was, and proposed a truce between us, and in exchange, they’d give us the goods on the Sabbat players. Basically, they started dropping the dime on each other to save their own skins.

        We made the deal like this: They were required to pay a tithe, and any new vampires in the area were to be presented to us as well, so that we could get their scent. If at any time they broke the truce, we would immediately wipe out every single vampire in the area, without exception or mercy. As far as influences went, they were to lend aid to the Garou nation whenever asked for, and were given a specific list of enterprises they were not to mess with under any circumstances.

        Best part: they had to suck it up. They just didn’t have any other viable option.

  • Anonymous

    no man should preach the path of humanity while wearing an adventures of bayou billy t-shirt, that game was the most infuriating game of all time, you sir a vesteesio

  • Anonymous

    Ah.  I think I see why you keep LARPs at arm’s distance.  That would definitely be a bad LARP.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having Phoenix be controlled by the Lancea Sanctum and Invictus – however, the guy running the thing had an obligation to let you know what the current situation in the city was like.

    Also, I don’t think the attack should have gone down the way it did.  You don’t become a Prince without thinking about the ramifications of your orders, and ordering a hit on an unknown Carthian right outside of Elysium would be good for business.  Now, letting him stay in your city for a few weeks, recommending a few places for him to stay (so you know where he’s at), and starting out with a soft approach for conversion is definitely in order.  Violence is the measure that must be taken once the heathen has rejected the word of God – mostly because that there are other factions that would use his impulsiveness to wrest control of Phoenix away from the Sanctum.

    I’ve never been a huge fan of LARPs, but the ones I’ve been to have avoided these problems as best they can.  They try to have things for new players to do to get into the game; they try to encourage factions to work as a whole, rather than a collection of egos; and they try to have the “story” of the LARP run tandem to the goals of each faction, giving everyone plenty to do!

    Good job on blowing these idiots to Kingdom Come.  They deserved no less.

  • Anonymous

    Yay Vampire the Masquerade! I loved that when I was younger… I know you have the adds on your site, but I thought I would mention that it is on GOG! YAY!

    That explosives bit on the griefers is fraking awesome! Too bad they couldn’t follow their own rules, HAH!

    BTW awesome dog, he whimpered at just the right part, very smart!

  • MrCoolLinks

    Yikes… I’ve somehow found myself in the weird section of the internet again… why oh why did I watch 5 minutes of stuff I know NOTHING about… help! The internet has me again.

  • Daniel Thomas Stack

    That was So Perfect. I wonder what happened to the Malkavians…

    But yeah if I were in that kind of situation I would have done the same thing. Or worse. Hell they violated the rule of having a neutral ground. If they weren’t willing to actually pay attention to actions they shouldn’t be RPing! Otherwise its just a my choices are bad ass and you must agree club.

    The way they handled things they were asking for it.

    By the way last I checked Arizona had Constitutional Carry in effect for guns. Meaning concealed or open it doesn’t matter if you are a US citizen you are allowed to bear your weapons. I’m going to look it up on the web site. They actually keep a database of all state gun laws on hand. Oh the link was easy to find here is the pdf with Arizona’s current laws. Basically if you are at least 21 and the owner and or operator of the location where you are at has no objections there is no law against you having a gun.

    • Shantal Figueroa

      Yeah but you don’t want to use those real guns as props for your roleplaying game. It’s one thing to carry a concealed weapon, it’s another to point it at people (even if it’s unarmed and in a roleplaying capacity or even if it’s fake and just looks realistic)

      • Daniel Thomas Stack

        My point was that there isn’t really a law against the guns. So having obvious stand ins like squirt guns, super soakers, Safety tipped cap guns et al would probably not even raise an eyebrow of the authorities if they chose to use such in their LARP.

        • Davis M.J. Aurini

          The problem is that one day, some doof, brings an ‘unloaded’ pistol to the game and the next thing you know – bam – crazy cultists kill member, roleplaying banned.

          • Daniel Thomas Stack

            Which I have never heard of happening by someone who actually was knowledgeable about how to safely and properly handle guns. That doesn’t mean the world is lacking in ignorant ones though. But like any tool if you don’t know the ways it can be dangerous to yourself and or others its not safe to have it in your hands nor control.

          • Zack Schaefer

            I totally agree with your statement. However, that doesn’t matter. You have to look at it from the perspective of the news media. It doesn’t matter if they knew gun safety precautions or not. To them, it was a crazy vampire cultist who murdered another member and LARPing is forever set back

          • Daniel Thomas Stack

             So you are saying that the LARPers can’t trust themselves enough to tell the difference between toy guns and real guns. And because those who were in the LARP were so idiotic they should avoid any risk of a real gun becoming involved?

            I admit they were lazy in their LARPing to let this play by Spoony happen but that would require an entire greater magnitude of incompetence and idiocy.

            I personally like to believe Human nature is good enough to catch on to something like that unless they are letting kids under the age of 16 also be part of the LARP and then without their parents consent.

            Then again I know 8 year olds that I could easily trust with select fire weapons that know how to handle and clean them and would never disrespect the weapon like that. So different environment I guess. But Arizona has laxer gun laws…

            The question becomes do you have any faith in people or are you too afraid of the media’s potential perspective to give that faith?

          • Shinobi-San

            It’s called a precaution.

  • Jon Waterstraat

    That was epic.

  • Aaron W. Shurmon

    some Rp-ers cross the line, like you did, and do something drastically unexpected and pretty much ruin your campaign(as a DM, and a player, ive seen, and i know i have this, the thousand yard stare a dm gets when you do this) but still follow the rules, like you did. then there are assholes who god-mod so that they win, without any respect to the rules, like they did. score one carthians!

  • Anonymous

    Spoony that story was fucking hilarious. You put it best: “they played hardball with so, so you played it with them.”

    They pretty much DID haze you, and you one-upped them for it. I agree their DM should have let you know ahead of time what was going on, especially condoning the battle on neutral ground. 

    And the way you so smoothly pulled the guys aside to go step-by-step through the process, complete with the “Oh shit I forgot something,”, then watching to make sure eyes weren’t on you, then the little countdown, simply epic.

  • Hugh Sullivan

    I’ve heard of a lot of shit like that happening with Vampire. I’m not sure what it is about Vampire players. And GMs. Doesn’t happen as much with other WoD players.

  • Myla Minoki

    It’s not necessary Vampire, it’s new Vampire. Old Vampires great, I’ve been playing it for two years. It’s the disastrous new edition that isn’t meant for LARP. In the words of Adam Savage “:Well there’s your problem”.

    • Hugh Sullivan

      Good point. All the complaints I’ve heard about that sort of thing were with NWoD Vampire, not OWoD. I suspect that it’s like what Spoony said… without an apocalypse hanging over everyone’s heads, its gone from having driving forces to having none in that world. So now all that’s left is stupid power-grabbing politics.

      • Anonymous

        It’s a storytelling system, if the GM is too stupid to write a story that’s not White Wolf’s fault. Old WoD was bad for campaigns because you can only run one campaign, the metaplot. In New WoD you can write your own metaplot and there are LOADS of things to use for your meta-plot. I guarentee, a Requiem game in which Belial’s Brood are the main antagonist as a LARP would be extremely thrilling and I don’t even LARP now. The fact is, Old WoD was far too heavily Christian. It presumed Christianity and that alienated non-Christians like myself and even offended some Christians like one of my old room-mates who felt they mocked the Bible too much. The subtle characterisation of New WoD is much better, potensially much darker, and able to have multi-faceted stories where “the end of the world” isn’t the focal point (which I always found childish as a plot point anyway).

  • C. L. Johnson

    THANK YOU! Seriously, this is something that gets me with D&D (I’m ashamed to admit that I’m an RPG noob, but I’d love to play more games of different types) – I’m ALWAYS the only Good aligned character on my team, since everyone else always plays Evil character or “Neutral” characters (who always act just as evil as the evil characters do). Hell, it’s started to really annoy my fellow team mates when I say “hey, my character’s meant to be a city guard, I’m meant to arrest you if you do what you’re planning, because it’s evil/immoral” – hell, I’ve even started to annoy THE DM. But why should I play as a villain? That’s just no fun to me.

    • Dragons_Dusk

      I applaud people who go into games like that either being actually neutral (which I’ve had a few) or genuinely good characters, it’s nice to see people thinking outside the box. 

  • Shantal Figueroa

    Could you imagine if the DM had cleared it? He’s like…Okay! All 30 of us have to role up new characters now! Everybody would have been like “MOTHERFU-“

  • Dragons_Dusk

    And it was stuff like that that kept me from messing with LARP so much. Tried to be a Followers of Set and was open about it.  I ended up getting bitched at because my “plot” my “character” wasn’t conforming to the rules of some book of Set I’d never heard of OOC. 

    And I totally know it was the people I was playing with.

  • Alex Offner

    I did something like this with tabletop Vampire once. I made a character who had a build to be a Vampire who killed other vampires (I wanted to try to make the Punisher basically) and started jumping and sniping anyone who did anything amoral (according to my characters sense of ethics which was actually pretty lenient assuming you didn’t go out of your way to harm others), and still ended up killing half of the people in the playgroup from half a kilometer away. To this day I still hate evil alignments in game groups. I’ll occasionally roll up a chaotic neutral or even lawful evil, but I always try to roleplay them correctly not just doing horrible things because it’s “fun”.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony – 1
    Pretentious LARPing Jackasses – 0

    Well done sir! If I’d been the GM, I would totally have ruled it acceptable. An honorable man would have taken the loss with good graces and informed everyone that they were dead. Guess we know where that particular GM fell. Then again, if I had been the GM, I’d have offered you a form of revenge somehow. Vampire is about plotting in the darkness, after all.

    This also illustrates why I stayed away from LARPing; I’ve never heard a good story about that style of RPing. It’s always been about how the “regulars” treated the newbies like sh*t and drove most of them away. I heard most of these stories from my friends here in Phoenix. Of course, that was years ago…

  • dracain824

    While I like the story and agree that those player where assholes, there are some problems with your speech about good guys and bad guys, both in Masquerade and in requiem.  The purpose of the path of humanity isn’t to “win” by getting to the top, it is simply to indicate moral alignment.  It is totally fair to be both a monster and a saint with that path.  As to the covenants in requiem, all covenants can be both good and evil.  Carthians want to renovate the vampire way of government, not to be heroes of good guys.  Same could be said of the others, Ordo Dracul don’t have to be evil, they are just trying to transcend vampirism.  Invictus and Lancea Sanctum do have a somewhat evil flavor, but it is perfectly doable to be a relatively good guy in them.  So while I don’t agree with the players in the LARP (especially jumping you outside of elysium, which is TOTALLY NOT COOL!), I don’t agree that you have to be Carthian to be good.  Also, the circle of the crone really isn’t so evil, they are a loose collection of people who hold pagan beliefs that hold a matriarchal figure at the top.  

    • Rakkrakk

      Sorry, but I’ll have to disagree. Humanity is NOT just an indicator of alignment: The more you loose humanity, the more prone to feral behavior you are. Feral behaviour in V:tM led to breaking the masquerade more frequently, if unwillingly so, and that eventually led to the vampire in question to be hunted and terminated by the Camarilla. Therefore the humanity system clearly was intended to vehemently encourage the players uphold a moral code, if one less humane than the human standard, and act beneficially to gain and uphold humanity. Of course that led to meta-game gambling, but then the players are to blame and not the system.
      I don’t know if the masquerade or something similar is in place in Requiem, but I would guess so, so my arguement goes there as well.

      Also, the general conception of most covenants in V:R seems to be pretty evil. But I do agree that, just because you are part of an evil group, you don’t need to be an evil jackass. Lancea Sanctum however sounds like it was founded by an abominable sadist who wanted to have a justification for their evil deeds, and I can’t picture any of their followers to be good guys.

  • theodore-walts

    Yeah, I agree with you about how the vampires are trying to hold onto their humanity. The Morality code, as you said, is called Humanity, and when you hit 0 humanity, then you reach the state of no control and full instinct!
    Hunt, Kill, Feed, Sleep, Repeat!!! It’s about the man containing the beast! Avoiding the state of Hunt, Kill, Feed, Sleep, Repeat!

    In general, vampires don’t interest me (I prefer Werewolves {I like the idea behind the Iron Masters}, and I am getting into Sin Eaters {the Prey fascinate me}), but reading Vampire: the Requiem, I don’t find I like the vampire factions much.

    I believe you are talking about Elysium, though. The neutral ground where the consequences are heavy for those who enter into a frenzy.

    In terms of the nWoD, I am sure if you get a good DM, or since you often are a DM, I imagine you can ask your DM to run (or even run such yourself) a game with an interesting plot that might involve the end of the world. Include Cain and Gehenna in your game, and you can still hold onto the aspects of WoD that you enjoy.

    I have looked at Path of Night recently, and it’s strange to me, considering most of the other paths are good. Even the Path of Ethics for the Orothorei in Dragon: the Embers (at least in the test version), appear to be good, even though they seem to be evil as well. It’s the idea of being a good ruler of the land you own, and loosing Ethics turns you into a dictator, and eventually a Hydra, who is mindless, and they are not allowed to hold land.

    Hopefully things go better for you if you even choose to play Vampire again. I imagine that is such occurred in a real vampire story, the Lancea Sanctum Vampires would have reacted as you described from this experience. Then again, they’d all be dead after you blew up their city.

  • theodore-walts

    Having thought more on the Ordo Dracul, I imagine that there must be members of that covenant who are ignorant when it comes to the true goals of the Ordo Dracul. Especially among younger, or newer members, I imagine that they embrace the idea of trying to reclaim their humanity, and I imagine that older/higher ranked members use this as a selling point to recruit more members.

    The guy who commented a day before I did has the right idea, after some thought. It could be taken as ignorance of lower ranked members, or it could be up to the individual members of a covenant. If I played Vampire, I would probably pick Ordo Dracul and play as a member who is truly trying to claim his humanity, ignorant to the true goals of the covenant. Maybe at some point he would learn the truth, at which point I would rebel against that. The way I do that, however, would depend on the skills I choose to use.

  • Anonymous

    I know why the DM got pissed – some newbie just fucked up your entire campaign – but he had to have realised that if he was going to allow something like a brand new character being tortured and converted like that, then he was creating a situation where anything goes as long as its legal, player etiquette be damned, and that he hence couldn’t complain if someone played the asshole card right back. Hell no, I wouldn’t have cleared it if I was him, but he didn’t have a right to complain. If you want to set up that kind of situation, then be prepared for the possible backlash.

    Honestly, though, I really don’t like LARPing, so for me this is just another victory story where it failed! YES! The only time I’ve found it acceptable to LARP was on a pub crawl, and that wasn’t exactly a LARP so much as a bunch of drunk university kids getting thrown out of bars. Or not being let in.

  • Darth_Dinobot

    OH Spooney you briljant asshole you, that is straight-up Jack Sparrow what you did there :p 

  • Anonymous

    lol if i was the dm i’da cleared it.  very much reminds me of the Bloodlines ending.

  • Anonymous

    Lol. Nobody fucks with Spoony! XD

  • Emily Kilbourn

    Wow, this is the best story ever. The stories that I’ve heard about Vampire the Masquarade LARP games were along these same lines, I don’t think it has anything to do with the game’s edition, just the people who like to play vampire larp and the culture that it promotes. The stories I’ve heard about vampire larp all seem to involve domination, torture, politics and general ass-holery. I think people play that game so that they can be controlling jerks in a sanctioned setting.

  • Andrew Montgomery

    Must admit, one of the more creative ways to end a LARP session. I did something similar, checked to see their security arrangements. They really don’t take many security precautions in examining their cars. So each and every single one of them is a ticking timebomb. 30 seconds after they all got into the cars, each one of them blew up in a fiery inferno. 

    Of course, I took the precautions of making sure that the news media was on-hand just in case anyone had the brilliant idea of getting out of the inferno still alive, and wandering around as a towering inferno humanoid figure….

    15 characters, dead in one night…..all because they embraced my character from human into a blood-sucking vampire, in the hope that they’d be able to convince him that being a vampire-hunter was a bad thing…

    Now, I play an Ordo Dracul Gangrel who specializes in security. I’m actually the guy that has the explosives sniffer, the metal detector, and the ghouled security guards that pat down everyone at the larp these days. 30 lbs of semtex would have gone up in the parking lot.

    Shame that the ST was such a dummie for allowing it on Elysium, but that’s what he gets. 

  • Anonymous

    Seriously. The only thing worse than a LARPer or  vampire RPG player is a vampireLARPER. They all deserve to die firey horrible deaths in the name of Gygax.

  • Ben Grady

    This is such a bad ass story.

  • Anonymous

    dayum that was so badass

  • Jakob Heugenhauser

     I am so glad to see that you will go on to Review further FF games. After all, you did play with the thought of ending it after X-2. But I’m it’s so great that you’ve changed your mind.

  • Petey0707

    Victory for the Carthians, bitch

  • David Schwartz

    in the NWOD there is only humanity. In the OWoD they had paths.  It is just a way of representing how close you are to your beast. 
    Circle of Crone are not devil worshippers, but pagans who worship different female aspects of god. 
    There are antagonists in the NWOD, the brood and the VII.  

  • David Schwartz

     And those guys that forced your char to join the LS were being stupid.  They do not work that way.

  • David Schwartz

    I am sorry that you didn’t have a good time at the NWoD game.

  • Eacaraxe

    Wow, that reminds me of one of my LARP experiences. The local OWoD group which was pretty respectably sized (about 60 players) and played on a nearby college campus, had a clique of players who abused OOC/IC privilege, LARP boundaries, and metagamed their butts off. It was a Camarilla game and the group had basically made a Sabbat pack, and was really ruining the fun for everybody else, so instead of just drop the hammer which they couldn’t do because that clique were the ones who got us basically free reign over an entire college campus, the ST’s (a couple of them I played P&P with and who knew who devious and evil I could be) contracted me to solve the problem in-character and gave me a blank check to do it.

    So, I made a Malkavian (the Camarilla bloodline, so I had dominate instead of dementation) with true faith. After a few weeks in the game lowering suspicions and banking experience, I went around obfuscated blessing all the water coolers, toilets, sinks, water fountains, and unattended water bottles, dominating anyone who happened to notice me. As the centerpiece and just to be sure, I took one of the ST’s into the building’s basement and blessed the water main and heaters.

    Some of the problem clique’s players were university employees and had fairly unrestricted access to the building the LARP occurred in, which they abused since the building itself was declared in bounds rather than only parts of the building. So was I. Sure a dozen or so characters died as collateral damage but I succeeded in busting up the clique, the whole thing was written off as a Malkavian prank and my character skipped town after getting a blood hunt declared on him, and I ended up getting a recurring role as an Hermetic mage after the ST’s started a running B-plot involving the city’s Tremere.

    Side note, friction cursing a Brujah is just about the funniest thing you can ever possibly do in OWoD.

  • Дмитрий Минин

    Spoony , you’re just plain awesome. This is such a cool move, brilliantly staged too. It should’ve been filmed really, the whole thing. It’ll be harder for those guys to pretend like it didn’t happen if it’s all over the youtube or something(well, nowadays).
    The reactions of DM just baffles me – it’s like elementary school “That’s not fair!” “You’re not nice!”, while it’s a perfect logical outcome of bloody fanatics at last messing with the wrong guy and thus bringing their own undoing by it. If I was on their place, I’d definetely be like “fair enough” and just happy that I’m a part of such epic plot twist. And then just roll the new character and partake in a struggle taking place because of the created power vacuum. Tyrants and torturers not being afraid of a coupe or terror. act? Especially where religion is involved? Yeah, right. That’s the whole difference between RPG and some convinient made-up world with mechanics – things going on not acording to convinience, but because they are true to the situation and the characters. 
    Your stories contain so much raw dramatic epicness, there should really be a book. 

  • Scott Mcmullin

    I have heard this complaint a lot in various NWOD games i have run or been in. Whether it be hunter, geist, vampire or what have you, you dont ever really feel like the good guy.

  • Anthony moynagh

    I got twighlight add… appropiate?

  • Salculd

    My god.  That’s glorious.

  • Natural20Elodie

    Spoony, you and I have the same sort of reaction to being treated unfairly in a RPG. Scorched earth. Thank you so much for the idea and inspiration. This is the situation I’m currently in, and my plan.

    I’ve been targeted by the DM every session for a month, with his two favorites and best friends getting away with murder and corpse desecration (one is a cleric). I’m getting shoved into the tank role as a dex-based ranger, and haven’t even been allowed my class features.
    I’ve made my feelings clear, but if it doesn’t change I’m killing the two favorite characters and handing over a holy relic to demons to destroy his entire DM created setting.

    I’ve played for 4 years consistently, and they’re playing against someone whose two RPG focuses have been D&D 3.5 and Pathfinder. We’re playing Pathfinder. They’ve only played on and off for about a year, with an average of 2 sessions every 3 months. I’ve made my character able to make 2 attacks with an average of +14 to every attack roll. We have a rogue with a tiny AC and a cleric as the two favorites. I’ve already taken a slash at the rogue and knocked her down to half with one very mediocre damage roll. Taking the holy relic and handing it over to a horror from the demonic realms will be easily done because we’ve ran into it before within walking distance of our current location. I’m going to destroy their world, and have fun doing it.

    • SeanMcTiernan

      See, that’s short-sighted revenge. He’ll puss out just like Spoony’s ST did at the larp. Things you should do or not do:

      1) Don’t Tank. If you’re clearly not specced for it, then don’t do it. simply because they want you to, doesn’t mean you *have* to. When they try to shove you to thr front go, “No thanks, I’ll shoot them from distance, since I’m range support.” If they press it, look to the cleric and go, “Fine, I’ll start tanking, but you have to not use a single one of your clerical abilities or spells, since that’s basically what you’re doing to me.”

      2) Which features are you getting denied? In the case of favored enemies, this one get slapped alot on stupid grounds. I’ve been in an orcish war campaign where the GM stopped having orcs against us after I took FE against them. The other thing is the Animal Companion, but it’s not a

      3) Stop the desecration. This is entirely an in-character thing that can be done, and there is no way to argue it, since as long as you have Good alignment, it’s completely allowable by alignment. Interpose yourself between them and the bodies, and stand your ground in character. Make sure you keep every comment you make in character.

      However, if the game is already this bad, your best bet is to just walk away, to look at the GM and you flat out say, “I’m tired of having my character hosed, and I’m done. You’re incapable of acting fairly to us all, so there;s no reason for me to keep going. I’m not having any fun, and it seems like I’ve slighted you somehow I’m not aware. Later”

      And walk away, don’t make it contingent on anything, just get up and leave. Don’t wait for him to argue or debate, just get up, turn and walk away with your character sheet in hand.

      • Natural20Elodie

        Thanks, that helped calm me down. Response to number 2 include:
        Combat Style Feat
        Hunters Bond (I’m level 6, so this is 2 levels behind)
        Favored Enemy x2
        Favored Terrain

        I’ve stopped desecration (NG Ranger), and I’m a 2 weapon fighter whose entire build is to get in, hit, and get out. Not a tank at all.

        The idea to walk is getting better and better. And I know I still have at least one true friend in the group to tell me how fast the DM either changes or
        as the squishy characters die.

        Thank you very much.

        • SeanMcTiernan

          Well, mark down your combat style feat, that’s a default item that you just get, so unless the GM is personally big dicking you on it, it should already be in there. Hunter’s Bond is something *you* can do, so basically, inform the GM that you’re going to be making survival checks to track down the animal of your choice. If worse comes to worse, declare your horse as your bonded animal. Tons of bennies there.

          again, for the favoreds, put them in, and just remember to add them on your own. These are automatic abilities, it’s like telling the wizard he can’t use spells.

          Spring Attack is pretty much a necessity for your character, and having the horse as a bonded mount can only help your build. You get improved movement, and if you pick up Ride-by attack, you’re all set, but don’t forget Trample, so that if the GM starts screwing you on it, you can just run down anyone getting in your way.

  • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

    Killing off moronic Twilight-rejects… With SCIENCE!

  • SeanMcTiernan

    The problem with people playing evil, or even anti-heroes is this: They’re *all* so fucking boring! I get so sick of watching the same characters recycled again and again. It almost always comes down to people wanting to just do whatever they feel like.

    I really loved getting one character I was running for who was legitimately a hero, and I flat out started giving bonus XP each session for the fact he was being a true hero in the game. We were playing OWoD, a Werewolf chronicle, and most everybody’s got the standard characters built up, until I look at this one sheet: Children of Gaia Ahroun.

    Right off, I’m figuring he’s either going to be the massive toker I’ve seen so many times before, or a tree-hugging hippy. What I got was something completely different. The first session, he calls he’s doing recon of the area, using his Spirit Lore to identify Blood banes in the umbra, and that when he finds a weak one by itself, he’s going to go ahead and take it down, then skin it so that he can have a baneskin made for him, and begins to do deep recon into Wyrm-occupied territory.

    While the rest of the pack is doing there best “curb stomp the Wyrm” routine, he’s there putting down wyrmspawn, but uses Persuasion to make sure the group doesn’t cross the line. Between missions, however, he begins gathering the aid of tree spirits to help start purging the bay, which was extremely polluted. Meanwhile, he’s also starting to develop and use local contacts in the area to start up community outreach programs, networking with the Glass Walkers, all the while doing guerilla tactics in the Umbra against the banes and even once or twice taking out a BSD on his own, making him a Fostern before anyone in the pack.

    So noted as being of higher rank, he immediately turns and knocks the Silver Fang out of the Pack Alpha position. From there, he puts the group under the Totem of New World Trinity in order to gain Dreamspeak, and that’s when shit really starts to kick off.

    I’m very interested to see where he takes this chronicle, because really, it’s so much better right now than the standard runs I end up with.

  • Christopher Alden

    Heh, I love it.  The guy who is cool with all the newbies being kidnapped, tortured, brainwashed, and their whole character concept derailed suddenly has a problem when one of them figures out a clever way around it.

    I do think you were too nice, though.  You should have forced them to acknowledge it.  Imagine if you had simply taken off the jacket, held up the detonator card, and said, “Bang!”  At the very least, you would have thrown off their entire night. :)

    You know, I wonder if anybody from that game watched this video…

  • pambas

    That was great, way to outsmart dicks

  • Mike Dethlefs

    Well played sir!!  Just out of curiosity, was it a Camarilla affiliated LARP? I ask because the mentality of the players and the ST seem very similar to the local Cam game.  That LARP has been the reason for many games to splinter off of it.  If it was a Cam game, you could have pushed the issue and frozen the game for weeks if not months while the red tape bureaucracy tried to figure out how to untangle the mess created.

    In any case, well done!  Something I’ll have to keep in mind against future ST and player douchery.

    • Lucas Barrientos di Leo

       It was Requiem, not Masquerade: There was not Camarilla. At least not in present day, it dies with the Roman Republic.

      • Mike Dethlefs

        Actually, I was referring to The Camarilla(now being called the Mind’s Eye Association), the LARP organization/network sanctioned by White Wolf. They are very restrictive about what can and can’t be used on a character even if it appears in one of the official books. My experience with Camarilla players is that a lot of them tend to adopt a PvP attitude towards newbies and brazen their way with disciplines…something a vampire wouldn’t do if you read on how Requiem sets itself up. Anyway, what Spoony did if he wanted to press the issue, would have resulted in the scene being frozen until the Storyteller Council could sort it out. Meaning a lot of these douchebag players would have their characters tied up an unplayable for months. Not all Cam players are douchebags, I’ve just had the unfortunate experience to run into my fair share of them.

  • Arthur Slightom

    (Starts slow clap)
    Congrats Spoony, this is easily the best thing I have ever heard in my whole life.

  • Dracke Stalen Torgen

    Well Noah i must say this , i literaly claped by the end. that was awsome  , amazing even

  •ée/504130526 David Brussée

    Damnit Spoony, you are a genius.

  • NUKEDGensokyo40

    cathlic vampires?! wtf

  • Anders Dalgren

    Like a boss!

  • Brett Hanna

    If the DM had cleared the explosion, or at least had a sense of humor or acknowledged defeat this could’ve ended just gloriously!

  • Meagan Deming

    Oh wow. I used to play a Vampire LARP in high school, but it was the old edition, and people definitely put a focus on trying to stay human(Toreador 4 lyfe). My best LARP story was that there was a Werewolf LARP going on at a local community college, so the leaders of the two LARPS got together, and we decided to have a giant show down. So picture this: It’s after dark in a large park, which is still fairly active. All of a sudden all these cars pull up and a bunch of scary looking goth kids get out and start yelling at each other. Some of them are hissing, and they’re quickly threatening to kill each other. Just when it seems like they’re about to come to blows, they start rock paper scissoring each other, and whoever loses goes, “AAAAH!” and throws themselves back like they just got hadokened. (Lots of my LARP friends were also drama geeks, hamming it up was in our nature.) It quickly degenerates into what I’m sure was the silliest thing those people walking their dogs ever saw. A bunch of intimidating goth teenagers playing roshambo and then taking melodramatic imagined hits and injuries before we all eventually slinked back to our cars to regroup. Then, of course, we all went to Denny’s. One of the funnest, silliest things I ever did. I’m just glad, but also shocked, that no one called the cops on us.

  • Chris Lauderdale

    ” I was a chemist”

    I knew EXACTLY where this is going (Havent watched full thing.)


  • Terra Silverspar

    Well, I do know that I have had a similar encounter. Long ago when i lived in another city, a LARPing session I was invited to was for oWoD with rules for Masquerade and rules for Apocalypse had just come out. I decided to be a werewolf. Needless to say things were going well and interesting, then of course the clique group decided they were going to screw with me since I was the newbie. The werewolf ST was a complete idiot and didn’t even know the rules of werewolf (I had been playing the game and even looked over the LARP book) and such. Needless to say my character got ambushed and skewered and they intended to turn me into an abomination right there on the spot, of course in full view of pack members who did nothing.

    After that I was pretty pissed off, and didn’t bother going back for a long while because I had been there for one whole session and my character was pretty much ripped out of my hands before I even had an idea of what I should be doing.

    Several months passed, the group got kicked off the campus because of complaints, and a new GM took over and such. I decided to try again. This time I decided to be a Mage, but the group was still being pretty dickish over all. End result I ended up turning a few of their players into walking freak shows before dying in a paradox explosion myself and never returned. GM of course, retconned that whole event out, of course.

    I’ve learned to stay away from anyone claiming to be apart of Camarilla sanctioned events now. Pretentious dickery does not begin to describe my experiences with them.

  • Uğur Can Yıldız

    When Spoony said hold on a second, I thought Doctor Insano was going to come to tell the rest of his story.

  • Kendrick Smith

    Few words can explain how I feel about this…but I will try. Spoony you are epic. Hell if I was Dm i would have allowed it, just to see the looks on their faces. Blowing up an entire city block, genius.

  • Nicholas Bollaert

    I appreciate your POV, but as someone who has played both Masquerade and Requiem, I am not getting where you are assuming there are no good guys.  The people I have played with made plenty of “good guys” in Requiem.  The only difference I have seen is that Requiem removed the Gehenna plot and the idea of Elders vs Neonates, and replaced it with a dual track cyclical political landscape.  They also made the vampires less “human” but not all evil monsters.  Holding onto humanity is still somewhat important.

  • Will Harper

    I have a problem with vampire as it attract some of the worst players.  World of Darkness at times get people that want to GTA RPGs.  Although WOD does give a sand box feel it is really meant to be a survival horror.  I ran a vampire game and one of the player just goes out of his way attacking for no apparent reason.  He even attacks team mate for, I do not know…  He was trying to drop his humanity to zero, he was dropping it alright.  And the way people role play vampire is eh.  I do not like how people role play vampire at time.  And I do play some mosters but they have a foreseeable motive and I do not attack other characters unless they start it with me.

    I like Mage as you attract more smarter people.  Vapire just seems overrated.

  • Strelnikov

    I would have loved to have seen the aftermath after Spoony drove off….somebody walking into the bathroom and seeing all those cards with SEMTEX written on them and throwing a fit, or the DM running into the john to snatch up the cards before anybody cound see them, or something like that. I hope at the very least that the people in charge of the game sat everyone down in a coffee shop or a restaurtant afterward and told them what frigging pricks they were and what situation they unknowingly escaped from only by the good graces of the DM.

    One nitpick: Spoony called the nice class of vampires “hippies” and “Ron Paul flyer distributing douchebags” or words to that effect. I know Spoony loathes politics, but equating those two groups just makes him look out of his depth….I know the sort of people he means; when Ron Paul was running in 2007 the college I was going to was flooded in handmade chalk wall advertising screaming out “PAUL FOR PRESIDENT” and “RONPAUL.COM.” We also got visits from the crypto-fascist Larouche Youth Movement; it was fun playing mind games with those people.

    • Nirri

      To be fair in regaurd to th “Ron Paul Hippie movement” thing, a lot of people who identify as hippies do indeed support him. (My dad is a pretty big supporter of him.)

      Many hippies are/where Libertarian in beleif; which seems like what Ron Pauls typical political stance is. though of course like all groups that sorta thing varies.

      Thats all I will say on that though. Don’t wanna get any arguments about the history of the hippies and the original hippie movement.

  • Fourth_Man

    I been reading the book of VR, and I do like it, if you stop being a douche with your players (like that DM) and start to think about the storytelling and forget about VR being a very “rigid” game it has a lot roleplaying and story telling elements, like for example the Requiem itself, the way the covenants interact, the way clans interact, also with the city politics. Also, the only other two covenants thar not status quo are reserverd as antagonist (the VII and the Satanist, Brood of Baal I Belive), and there are plenty of reasons for that. I have to admit, you give that DM a good lesson, give Requiem a new check, don’t compare it with the old, read it like something new, and you may enjoy it.

  • Anamaris Cruz

    This should be canon.

    • Alex Stritar

      It is in my mind. In any WoD game I run, this will have happened. Though, it proubably won’t come up a lot considering I’m not really into Vampire, and I doubt any game will be set in Pheniox. In fact, the most that might resault would be somebody offhanditly mentioning something going down with the vamires in Pheniox, or maybe just something about a big explotion there a few years back, but hey, it happened.

  • Grace

    The DM should have cleared it. That was pretty epic. <3

  • Marcus Butson

    …LMFAO you cold sonofabitch.  remind me to never get on your bad side, Spoony.

  • Icrangirl

    Its a damn shame he didn’t clear it. If anything he was being a complete asshole for not doing so sense you didn’t break any rules and he cleared your character.

  • Ben Smooker

    I could kinda guess what was going to happen, but it was still glorious to listen to.

    And I’m on Spoony’s side. If there’s anything more boring than playing as a mind controlled character (who is set in a perminant state of mind control, not just as a hold-off-until-rescued) then I don’t know what it is.
    All individuality is gone, and basically everyone else says “You do X!” and all you can say is “I do X” and shrug. And very quickly you realise you might as well not be there. They might as well just train a chimp to do your job for you. I don’t RP often, but I loathe people who get into the mind control thing. I’ve yet to see anyone do it well, it just boils down to what I said earlier. They might as well just be sat by themselves writing a story. We have no control over anything, so what’s the point?

    A superb ending to the story. It would be all too tempting to just say “Fuck you and fuck your stupid LARP” and storm off, but it takes balls to channel the rage into something constructive.

  • Ralek

    I would love to see some more counter monkeys on this game. Awesome video as always Spoony. Personally I’m not too familiar with the this vampire series, but would like to learn more about it. Haven’t found much information when googling it or searching for a wiki devoted to it.

    Is it just a RPG or is there a book series I could get into? 

  • James symon

    I Loved this story.

    personally I like requiem, if you get the expansion books for Lancea Sanctum there i alot more depth than originally given to them which helps a bit and from experience I’ve found that if you want a large Vampire group you have a city which doesn’t have one or two large groups which dominate the political scene.

  • Quensama

    sounds like a superficial game. Never got into Requiem really. I liked VTM a lot. Vampires in VTM tried to stay as human as possible. Well when you lose humanity you basically submit to the beast and your character is unplayable. 
    Mix that with the fact that you pretty much can’t trust any vampire not even your maker (well friendships can be forged) plus the particular clan perks. It was well thought out.

  • DDW

    You know, as much as hindsight is 20/20, the ST should have noticed that Spoony was essentially being very open with his plans. Instead, they just went along and were surprised when that bomb they approved was used.

    Failed a perception roll.

  • Curtis Urbanski

    Where in the 9 Hells does one find a Bayou Billy T-Shirt?

  • maye

    Spoony holy shit THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Imagine if the DM had actually allowed you to do that?? Holy hell. I applaud you sir, victory for the carthians indeed lmao. 

  • maye

    Spoony holy shit THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Imagine if the DM had actually allowed you to do that?? Holy hell. I applaud you sir, victory for the carthians indeed lmao. 

  • Florian Thomet

    Well i hate the nWoD too. With the exception of Hunter the Vigil. Its.Fing.Awesome.

  • Rebecca Little

    Are the Counter Monkey videos ever going to come back? Why do they all have a “video unavailable” message? Did bliptv or Spoony or whoever take them down for some reason? Or has bliptv just been having some kind of technical issue for the last two or three days?

  • Joe Mamma

    I would love to watch this video.

  • Guus van Voorst

    Dear god, Spoony is like Charles Bronson in Death Wish… XD

  • aspetty

    Dude, Never have done one of these larps, but you handled it like my friends and I would if this had happened to us. We’d “call the cops” (in game) about terrorist activities and then blow the building.

  • Matthew Baumgartner

    Oh my god that was the best story ever!!! Seriously .I hate hearing when gamers fuck over a newbie right away just because instead of actually a good intro and helping them. My first game i got screwed over because of a stupid reason that turned me off from gaming for a good year or so, but the guys always wanted me to come back . Your story defiantly was a good bit of vengeance.

  • Michael De Piazza


  • Amanda Rive

    OOOOOOH! Burned xD.

  • Tyler Christensen

    It would be fun to allow ANY behavior in your LARP (as long as the rules allow it) and when they act like assholes to someone you take the poor bastard asside and tell them this story. Help them plan a big lesson in common courtesy.

  • Bruno Alves Marques

    The Gangrel are often looked down upon no matter what group of larpers you play in, hell I played a Gangrel scholar, a university student who was studying chemistry. First thing I heard when I entered was “Someone let a mutt into the palace.” ….I burned their sanctums to the ground with home made napalm…I ended the game as the most powerful character before a Gm in cahoots with several players rule modded me to death despite my “I don’t interfere so don’t annoy me.” merely because they didn’t like the idea of a ‘trained mutt.’ pretending to be human.

    • Bruno Alves Marques

      ….Then I heard the bit where Noah explains his skills and face palm. “Sounds alot like my guy.”

  • Patrick Allen

    I think one of the other prevalent conception of vampires is that Judas was the first vampire. I never heard the Cain idea, though.

  • Katrin

    Best LARP story ever. Best WoD story I’ve ever heard. I seriously loved it.

    I tried playing vampire a couple times, but found the same sort of thing happening. I wanted to play a heroic vampire that tried to do right, and resist the evil urges. But party members always threatened to kill my character or torture my character whenever I stood up for my beliefs which was really depressing and hurtful after a while so I quit.

    I like reading the core books a lot, especially Changling, but I’ve never had a WoD game where my character meshed at all with the group, unless they were human and had decent physical stats.

    I wish I could get my hands on some of the old WoD books.

  • Emil Petrunov

    Funny thing is, I recall a time where I saw some people LARP-ing and it ended with someone, in game, blowing everyone up, much like Vampire Spoony~

  • Jegsimmons

    if im ever playing an RPG or LARP with spoony….im on HIS side.
    spoony will fuck you up.

  • Kipli

    That was fucking amazing.

  • Amanda Holland

    Ya, wow, that’s some serious bullshit. Pretty brilliant method you picked to deal, though. Fucking poetic justice. Though to be honest I don’t know if that’s as bad as my town’s Vampire LARP–the circle of players was VERY elitist and would literally diablerize every new character. There was pretty much no way to get in without dying, unless you knew enough people and could write a connection with their characters so they’d vouch for you. It was bullshit–as much as I wanted to play, I couldn’t. That was back when the Malkavians still existed, too, and I was so excited to play one XP

  • Jannick Hegelund Hverkeltoft

    best story in the history of time!

  • Nyíri Zoltán

    I think it’s not the best idea to portrai the World of Darcness that is about beig good guys. Just read the core rolebook of Vampire the Masquarade, World of Darcness is like our world only its more DARK, CURRUPTED and people in there mostly if not really EVIL but selfish. I’m not saying you can’t be a good guy there, but it’s really not about being good guy. You can be a good guy, but you have to make sacrifises. Great sacrifises, Just like in real life, I magine in this life you want to make things better let’s say in a city, let’s say in a city witch corupted and full of people out of luck, job, money and you know what it’s lead of. You have to gave up everything. Now imegine this in a world were there is evil people with special powers. Nearly impossible. So Vampire was never about you being the good guy Intentionally, you start at a humanity 7 witch clearly notifies: The basic people with it’s selfish thingies and everything, and the way down is very fast, because, even as you play a good guy, no matter how hard you try, sooner or later you’ll gonna find that you can’t solve everything with good hart and pure intentions. You gonna make your hands dirty. This is more about vampire if, you not start with an evil character. A long way to down, and that is what makes it intersting, dramatic and mature, because you not in a world of fairytales, where there is the evil corporate guys and you have to all the way up the castle and beat the boss, it’s more focuses on humanyty, how people can change ect.

  • Nyíri Zoltán

    Anyway, the story was awsome xD

  • Danilo De Simone

    Lession to learn: You remember first that a game is a game. Otherwise, the guy is gonna kill you all. And you will deserve it.


  • Árni Þvottabjörn

    An interesting story.Personally I think those guys were doing Lancea Sanctum the wrong way (go to confessional to avoid dealing with humanity? Bullshit!) This is probably a clear sign of favoritism on account of the established players vs the newbie.

  • Andrew Seel

    I am truly awed by how badly you’ve misunderstood and misrepresented Vampire: The Requiem. Like, to the point that I’m forced to assume this is some kind of elaborate trolling effort.

  • Daniel Johnson

    11:52 – Admiral Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!!!!!!!!

  • The Incomparible Mevi

    Probably one of my favorite Counter Monkey segments. I love Vampire, I just really hate many of the people that played it. Then Requium came out and screwed up the entire game. Finally, someone said what I’ve been thinking for years now.

  • Adam Murray

    Having read the vampire chronicles and having played the games, some of the characters in the novels do fall into the Path of Humanity,

    Mariouse De Romanous is very much like the ones the camerilla, only eating evil doers
    Lestat would also fall into this as well, but he is defenitly a toreador
    Armand could fall into this as he only drinks from those who wish to die
    Akasha is deffently like the sabbat, as would be santino

  • BronzeDog

    That was just so awesome. Score a big one for the underdog.

  • Steve Shanafelt

    I was with a group that did something like this, and it was totally awesome. It broke the game for dozens of people, but it was so worth it for the revenge.

    Way back in the Vampire: The Masquerade days, I played occasionally in a large game that fluctuated between 40 and 50 players at this old movie theater. The guy who owned the theater was the impossibly low-generation Prince and most of the ST team were his employees. It was a mostly terrible game because of all the politics, but there wasn’t a lot else to do in the area and there were enough people playing to make it fun. As long as you didn’t want to actually influence the story, that is. And if the Prince/IRL owner of the place decided he didn’t like you or wanted to ruin your night (or any of his friends, for that matter), there was no point in even sticking around to argue with the STs. It was a circle jerk that got out of control.

    I was part of a clique of players that lived RPGs. Counting fringe members and girlfriends who dabbled in the VTM game, there were maybe 15 of us. There were enough of us that we had some protection from the politics of the larger game, but we regularly saw people getting screwed over hard by the in-crowd. It sucked, and as the games kept going over the course of that summer (the game had been going on for nearly two years), it got worse. Like no-fun-to-play worse. Even our clique got messed with arbitrarily, and STs went along with whatever the Prince wanted. He wants to somehow be 4th gen? Done. Personal hit squad of werewolves? Done. It was insulting.

    We decided to go to one last game. We created human hunters, and we spent days crafting characters specifically created to go out in one gigantic blaze of glory. We were pretending to be a clan passing through the city for the night, and were meeting with the Prince out of formality. I’ll spare you the details (it was my plan, and it was awesome), but just like in Spoony’s video, lazy STs and players who didn’t bother to check us out before we got into the room with the Prince and his bros club.

    Unlike Spoony’s story, this played out in front of almost the entire game. Dozens of people watched as we destroyed the Prince and the entire inner circle of his fan club. All of our characters died, of course, but the larger point was that it couldn’t be undone. After the bodies were counted, the head ST called the game to a stop. He called everyone together (again, like 50 people) and said he just wanted to pretend that the evening never happened. It was all a dream. Apart from the Prince/IRL owner’s circle of friends, absolutely no one wanted that. It because a heated argument, where many of the other players vented their feelings about how crappy the game had gotten. Lots of feathers were ruffled that night.

    None of my group were welcome back, and so I don’t know what happened plotwise. But the game itself died, and was a fraction of what it had been after that night. On one hand, I’m glad we did it, because it was zero fun towards the end. On the other, it’s a shame it couldn’t be saved because it was brilliant to be in that big of a group … when it worked.

  • josh martyn

    order of Draco trying to take over the world Que M.Bison “of course!”

  • josh martyn

    Haven? is that the place the neutral ground

  • Fergus Exile

    I know you may never read this, and even if you do may not be able to respond, so I’ll keep this short. I would like to use your story about the Vampire the Requim LARP as canon in my tabletop campaign. I may not agree with your opinion on the setting but I love that story and want to use it. I know you can’t stop me, but I’d like your permission, and if possible the names of your character, the prince, and any other major NPCs you remember. I hope to hear back from you, but I’m not holding my breath.

  • Mary Sulkowski

    Now I want someone to make a TV show about vampire criminals. Something like Prison Break, or Breaking Bad, but with a Masquerade. Vampire drug dealers, vampire con men . . . Make this happen, AMC!

  • PakToh

    Well this great story even made its way to germany where it was told me by a friend some time ago. And hell yeah, THAT was a story songs should be sung of…

  • Ida Eriksson

    Thank you spoony! that was frekkin awesome! I would have done the same thing. right back at them. ps you’re awesome!/Swedish gal

  • William Nathaniel Bodine

    Glad to see someone else is disgusted by the lack of good guys in VtR. That’s kinda why my own VtR character refuses to completely give up on his human life, and refuses to harm another Kindred (regardless of clan or covenant) or kill a human unless there is no viable alternative. My current character is a dumb-as-rocks rock star who prefers to take the non-violent path, and my back-up character is a bipolar defense attorney…and when he’s on the happy side of the coin, he is the happiest, peppiest, most optimistic S.O.B. you could ever meet–even more so than most humans.

    By the way, Circle of the Crone are not devil-worshippers, they are pagan-ish. Big difference.

  • Randy Duncan

    As A member of the camarilla or is now know as the Minds Eye Society I want to apologize for what happened that’s not how we as a club treats new players I know we have talked via twitter Mr spoony one But I was able to help you have an better experience at a requiem game or the club its self if you gave us another shot please feel free to contact me.

  • Cook Lopez


  • Jens Kaspar Mikli

    *sigh* oWoD didn’t have a good guys either, although you couldn’t tell for all the trench coats and katanas. Heroic characters in WoD have always been individuals that go against the grain.

    The anarchs and carthians are the most idealistic factions in both games but their idealism is tainted by naivete and the same sort of rhetoric that’s used to justify totalitarianism. They aren’t all that different from the Lancea in that regard and you can play a heroic character of either faction just as easily as the other (or any of the player factions, really, heck if you’re in the Circle you can even be The Chosen One).
    The idea of Requiem isn’t replacing the threat of the Sabbath or Gehenna with politicking, it’s that when the Brood DO come around or when the Doomsday cult de jour finally succeeds it will find Vampires divided and as eager to kill each other as they are to face the latest threat.

    Which is something you’d expect given what people are like even without magically induced psychopathy.

  • Benjamin Colecliffe

    That was awesome. If I had been that GM then either a) the game would never have gotten to the state of ‘New player = you lose’… or b) I’d just be a rules overseer and that would have been fine. Spoony, you rock. never let anyone tell you otherwise.

  • Nathan Jacob Caudill

    As a fan of the Lancea Sanctum, Spoony wrongly explained what they stand for.

    The Sanctum are good guys, they scare “evil” people into following the right path, either through fear or death. If a member sins, they must go to confessional, “AND MEAN IT”!!!
    Whats the point in confessing if you dont mean it? you still have the sin “written down on your spiritual scroll” so you still have something to wash your hands of.

    But I assume that Spoony got involved with a bad group of LCs, or should i say…..HERETICS!!!

    all is forgiven Spoony. If I was a player there (they would probably not mess with me cuz i would instantly become a member), then the minute i find out what happened, i would side with you man. Those guys give the Sanctum a bad name and must be purged! I would honestly help you in “cleansing their souls”. :3

    the DM was a whiner also.

    • DaReaperZ

      The thing with confession is.. it’s not really worth anything, if you mean it or not. No one can even know if you truly mean it anyway. It’s basically just a way for people to do bad things and get away with it. Well, as you say it, they still have the sin on their spiritual scroll…

      Anyway, I don’t think the “good guys” would instantly forcibly convert a member of another coven once he treaded into their grounds, especially not in an elysium location.

  • Daniel Tilson

    That was an awesome revenge RP.. I was actually expecting a suicide bomber type thing when he said he taped the cards to his body.. But this was even better!

    No rules were broken until the DM disallowed the action. No one looked at him, no one said they frisked him, nothing happened in game that would have stopped it from happening.. So it should have been checked to see who died, and the game should have continued. Admittedly, the amount of “explosives” involved would have probably taken out everyone there, but there’s always a chance.

  • kamrom dechu

    I think I got myself blacklisted with the vampire folks. It was the day I pointed out that “Gehenna” is a transliteration of the Valley of Hinnom, an actual place in the actual world. You can go there. Like, you can walk there.

    Apparently, this is not an okay thing to point out in-character. Not at all.

    • wizzbang

      Then your fellow-gamers were idiots. ;) The whole point is the metaphorical meaning of “Gehenna” — just like “Golconda” ( and “Amaranth” ( . That was the point!

    • Rakkrakk

      That is really, really freakin’ stupid. It’s like DC characters banishing you into another dimension just because you mention that Apokolips is derived from apocalypse.

  • Matthew Rotondi

    Having Chemistry as skill in the game was a mistake, definite game breaker but no as much as Biochemistry :)

  • Carteeg_Struve

    My wife, Belladonna Florence Ventrue, former Head of House for the Ventrue of Nashua, New Hampshire (and surrounding townships) during the 90s, and betrayer of the same House by secretly giving all rights and ownership of said House over to their blood enemies because she was new to the game and they immediately installed her as head simply to act as a puppet and primary target, approves and recognizes the events of this session.

  • reesescape01949

    sounds like a bunch of bietches

  • DaReaperZ

    I really think those smug bastards deserved it. Too bad it wasn’t cleared (obviously). But the kind of rule they had on the city seemed really tyrranical, it would definitely piss me off if they just said “Oh another covenant! Let’s forcefully convert him, cause we’re assholes.”. Could they really not understand that you wanted to play as another covenant?..

    I’d love to see his face when you said you blew those arses up.

  • CrotaroLP

    Ahhhh this story is just epic! I know I’ve said it out loud in my room a dozen times minimum, but you’re just sooooo awesome, Spoony!
    If I was in that DMs position I’d of course react pretty surprised at first as well…but yeah they truly fucked your character up and did it on purpose…even if this would’ve killed my long played vamp, I would’ve cleared that one, since you definitely outsmarted those idiots…c’mon not padding you on the entrance to an elysium? That’s plain stupid and you just showed them mostly all their faults. Hooves held high for you, Spoony, hooves held high! /)

  • The Incomparible Mevi

    This is why I don’t play Vampire, especially the Requium (which I also can’t stand). I loved teh old Vampire game. Loved it. But so many of the people who played around where I lived were the ‘evil’ vampires all the time, reveling in being monsters and screwing with other people’s characters, but heaven forbid you mess with theirs. Loved teh game, hated the people who played it. You weren’t being an asshole, you were retaliating against a tyranical rule and being the only good guy in that entire city. My opinion, anyway.

  • Rakkrakk

    While I get why the GM didn’t clear the game, I think that exact reasoning would lead me to the opposing decision: I’d say to all guys(and potentially gals) in the building: “Burn your character sheets. You can thank this f*cker for outsmarting you and breaking my game. Have a nice day.”

  • Dudley

    I respectfully disagree. I can’t really make a good argument for it now (too long since last using either V:tM or V:tR), but I remember getting the exact different impression: that Requiem actually stressed the morality of the PCs more, and the importance of being moral and the struggle to retain that humanity, by contrasting it to the morally corrupt and inhumane Covenants. There were no good guys in V:tM. The Camarilla were simply a lesser evil, and I think the metaplot and the struggle of the Camarilla against the greater evil obfuscated the immorilaty of the Camarilla and the issue of struggling to retain your humanity by giving you big bad things to fight against (sort of like how an anti-hero can be made to look like a hero by being put against someone even worse).

    • SeanMcTiernan

      Problem is, though, that everyone constantly plays the villain, and you get these elite little cabals, like the ones in that larp, that basically take the game over. This is how so many larps end up dying off. Regardless of what might have been meant, White Wolf made a game for every asshat who wanted to dick over large scores of people.

      The WoD games were wonderfully written, but it falls down in LARP pretty much every time due to the players falling in to the same old routine. Werewolf, Changeling, Vampire, it pretty much just keeps going down the same way, old or new. No matter which WoD larp I’ve ended up in, the player’s who are willing to be the biggest dicks just win.

  • Dudley

    On a more salient note, those dudes were large-type assholes. Who the fuck does that to the new guy? Jeebus.

  • fireball3477

    This is one of the greatest LARP stories I ever heard. And BTW, I think you were absolutely right to do what you did.

  • IllusionaryFuneral

    My experience with Vampire LARPs, while similarly limited, was kind of like this. I didn’t get gang-raped and blow up the city in response, but the other players tended to be nasty, clique-ish, and utterly convinced of their own Machiavellian brilliance while, in reality, being rather dense, obtuse, and unobservant. I guess it kinda fits, since that’s kinda how vampires are supposed to be, but I didn’t get the impression that they were doing it because it was “in character;” that’s how they, the players themselves, were.

    As for Vampire: the Masquerade, my friends and I played the hell out of that game, and we totally played it “wrong.” We kind of knew it and did that rather deliberately, though, `cause we didn’t care about angsting about our waning humanity; we wanted to play antiheroes with fangs and cool supernatural powers, getting into a shadow war on the edge of the apocalypse. That’s kind of why Vampire: the Requiem didn’t really click with me; it didn’t have that whole “Final Nights” edge to it.

  • g33kf4th3r

    The only experience i have with Vampire larp was a Werewolf that went to war with it. All i gotta say is being a werebear is the shit.

  • Lpwn Wolf

    This pretty much sums up my entire 3 episode vampire experience. That game was terrible and sad.

  • spanky longshaft

    Well I know my next D&D character now: Father Guantanamo.

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