Klingons use punishment– Bij– as the measure of a man and his pain threshold.
How much can you endure?
I am unfazed by this. Try again Spoony. It needs to be so much worse… like Brokencyde worse…
Qa’Pla! I have survived Bij! Bring it one SpoonyOne!
I have survived phase one. Is this kinda like a no-prize?
How much pain did this video cause me? none at all… *yawn*
What…. what the hell did I just watch?
Didn’t faze me at all. Granted I only watched The Fifth Element like two days ago and theres a lot more of Chris Tucker in the movie
A true test of Bij, one word…Bieber!
What kind of mad petaQ, are you? Not even Kahless himself can withstand Bieber!
Thank you Spoony… Thank you for giving me endless nightmares about Chris Tucker. And on my birthday of all days. :P
The first bit did make me wince, but I love the Fifth Element enough to make even Chris Tucker bearable.
Well that was… Bizarre.
See, this may not be fair for me. Im one of those rare mutants who actually loved Chris Tuckers performance in the Fifth Element.
oh come now! it wasn’t that bad of a movie. granted Chris Tucker just sucked in it. and Bruce Willis had the personality of a cardboard box but it was still a fairly interesting sci-fi…
All I can think of is WTF?!?
aww that was way too easy spoony, you have to try harder next time, like tracy morgan *shudder*
You twisted bastard, you.
I think the consensus is clear… not only did we experience Bij… WE CRAVE GREATER CHALLENGE! FOR THE GLORY OF THE KLINGON EMPIRE!
Request for next Bij: Neytiri from Avatar. I hated that chick.
You have to do better than that Kavok!
Goddamn Spoony! Are you trying to kill us or what? Well, I survived so I say bring it on you pussy! You’re going to have a hard time topping Chris Tucker.
I’ll be honest: That one fucked-up video with the dancing pig was a lot more painful to watch and hear. I STILL haven’t managed to get past 1:48 on that one.
This one, however… wasn’t as painful.
What did I just watch? What’s the definition of Bij?
Got to say it again….. Goddamn Spoony!
Your attempt at Bij left me laughing. I’m far too much of a fan of the Fifth Element to even flinch at Chris Tucker’s squealing screams. Oh and you should have used a clip from Friday, too. Just saying. I look forward to a greater challenge next time. >:3
Friday would not have affected me. I would’ve been quoting each scene out loud to myself.
I have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on.
Nothing beats this Bij:
It was bad enough at 15 minutes long, but I modified the link to become:
I can’t feel my neural subsystems, and it just keeps repeating…and repeating…and re puddi…Puddi puddi…puddi puddi… x_X
Bring it Spoony, Bring it.
GYAAAHHH FUCK. Okay. I did it. I don’t EVER have to watch it again. You’re going to have a hard time topping that with the next Bij Spoony, nothing twists my nipples like Chris Tucker’s high-pitched ear-rape.
Hah! You are no warrior, and you have no place in this mighty empire leave before I make you regret it!
No warrior?! Grab your bat’leth! I’ll make you squeel like a targ!
This was no test of a man! Your lack of proper training in the art of torture is apparent.
Watch this and slowly feel your sanity dripping away!
You must be joking! This is childs play, not the stuff of warriors!
Pfft, if this was bad to you, you know NOTHING of real torture.
I love the Fifth Element, so I laugh at this.
What the- what did I just see? I just watched “the Madness of Roland” before this so… yeah, I get the feeling that today’s going to be a bit trippy.
Chris Tucker is girly Bij. Fred: The Movie is manly Bij!
This video is SUPERGREEN
This is torture? To who? Not me. I like Chris Tucker.
gonna have to try harder for this viewer to experience Bij Fifth Element is awesome, always will be.
maybe try playing some twilight *shudder*
No! Don’t suggest that! He’ll do it! And then we’ll all be turned into axe-wielding psychopaths trolling bookstores and movie theaters looking for teenagers with a thing for pale make-up and writing horrifically bad purple-prose fanfiction based on Anne Rice novella (which is all Twilight really is)!
Chris Tuckers voice is the one proof that you can be a man without going through puberty
So does Chris Tucker play the same character in all of his movies?
32 seconds. Then I killed myself.
I like the Fifth Element it has space ships and tits and lots of bright colors and Gary Oldman. Though I am glad they stopped making Chris Tucker movies
Now that you mention it, Spoony, Chris Tucker does an excellent Titus impersonation.
2 minutes 11 seconds. You magnificent bastard.
Oh my god!
I thought I had been watching for almost 10 minutes.
How can anything be THIS annoying?
3:20 minutes! Yes! I sat through the entire thing!
… um… why is there a mutilated bloody corpse lying on the floor next to me?
… excuse me while I go wash my fingerprints off this nine-inch knife which is, in a completely unrelated incident, glued to my hand via human fascia and brain matter.
Anyone who couldn’t get through this is a weak coward. And your gonna have to try harder Spoon, unless you are weak too.
Is that All you have Spoony worm. My Mother Raised me on Greater feats of endurance than that pitiful Katajq. Bring the pain if you must and make it swift before I fall asleep on you.
I’m confused. Is this a measure of pain, or the urge not to kill Chris Tucker?
Cause like he was actually walking down the street when I started playing this, there was a baseball bat in the corner, and long story short I need help in getting rid of a body…
Oh, and I only lasted a minute in. Damn.
weak, try with a compilation of Jar Jar Binks next, now that one puts Tucker to shame
Your music endurance test was worse :P Some of my friends even listens to that band… *shiver*
you know, that annoying, repetitive Sion ad in blip.tv causes just as much pain to me as Tucker’s voice
What thehell did I just watch?
Heh. That’s funny cause “Bij” in polish means “Beat someone up” as a form of an order. So “idź bij go” would be “Go and beat him up” (idź = go there, go = him).
*Sniff* I feel so proud…to join another Polish man on this website…
Hooray! I’m learning about my heritage! And delegating violence! : D
Damn dude… Watched the whole thing… Off to therapy now.
that was nothing I spit at your Bij
Ha! Is this all the Bij you can bring, Spoontock? YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME!
I have endured your Bij.
I do not feel pride.
*wakes up from cold sweat* GAHH!, *gasp pant* I just blacked out BUT I’M STILL HERE!!! AHHAHAHA! *Gets hit by bus*
So I’m not the only one to have owned Star Trek: The Interactive Boardgame when I was a child?! Experience Bij…only Robert O’Reilly and his scary eyes could deliver that line with any real menace.
Oh, and I sat through the whole thing so consider your Bij experienced, sir!!
Manga has. XD/
Gain an access chip instead. Coolness. XD
I bloody needed those access chips too, I can tell you. I still haven’t made it to the bridge and it’s been 12 years!! :P
i lasted 1:37 mins… MAN, that guy is irritating… but i least i managed to keep my soul! :D
HA! I sat through all of Avatar in the theaters! Your Bij Tucker means Nothing to me… NOTHING!
mommy, hold me.
I succeded and are ready for the next one.
The French dub took the insightful decision of making his voice much lower pitched. It makes his performance much more bearable.
Me no habla Chris Tuckerish…
Also I think the greatest highlight of this episode is this font, it’s awesome.
Great idea to bring some pain to the fans :D Keep it up Spoony!
If you really want to annoy people and test the limit of our endurance, you should just make a five second video and insert an add break between every frame, because 3 minutes of Chris Tucker is not long enough for him to be painful, while 30 second of any of blip’s very limited range of add is maddening.
The Fifth Element is the one movie I really like his performance in. Should have put in clips from his other movies.
I’m proably the only one who enjoys his performance in the Fifth Element. So it’s like saying “eat this rotted filth” and being handed bacon.
I guess the was a computer error in the Bij. Let see what goody it gave me instead. XD
I have endured your Bij…. And very soon, I shall introduce you to my personal collection…
Nothing can prepare you…
This Bij was nothing to me!
Funny thing, I didn’t feel punished enough watching this. I was laughing the whole time I was watching Chris Tucker’s performance in The Fifth Element as Prince and Michael Jackson combined.
If you want us to experience a real Bij, try using all the moaning Bella moments in the Twilight movies. That’s some real punishment!
Is this all u have Spoony. I laugh at your childish attemp of torture bwhaahahahaha
This Bij was weak sir.. I have to admit to liking the fifth element.
Your Bij was puny, SpoonyOne. Well…Okay, it’s probably because I don’t really mind Chris Tucker and I like The Fifth Element. I was more amused by the video than annoyed.
Now if it was a Ke$ha or Lil Wayne song, I would’ve tapped out immediately.
I don’t think I like this bit. You still da man.
Explain Sppoooony Explain.
That was not so bad. If it was Justin Beiber then we are talking.
I like 5th Element, the Rush Hour part was bad though. What’s next? The very best of Jar Jar Binks?
Ok. I’ll take one for the team and make the obvious joke: Bij… Not the Bij… aaaaaaawwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Or the ever poignant, “Bij…My God.”
Why do people complain about JarJar when Chris Tucker is out there assaulting us with crimes against humanity such as this….I almost didn’t survive this…but damn you Spoony! I cannot resist a challenge!! I will not resist a challenge!
Do your worst. I taught kindergarten. Chris Tucker is nothing but merely the equivalent of anal chaffing.
I have experienced Bij….and I’m ready for more.
There must be far worse Bij than this. Three and a half minutes of Chris Tucker (1/5 Rush Hour, 4/5 5th Element mix) was merely an mild annoyance to me.
i enjoyed chris tucker in 5th element. bring it on p’tak. we can take all the pain you have spoony one!
I must be one of the few people who actually doesn’t find Chris Tucker annoying. If this did anything, it made me wanna watch 5th Element and the Rush Hour series.
Sorry, Spoony, you’ve gotta do better than this
Agreed. Maybe because I grew up with the Rush Hour films, but that scene just made things easier.
The worst bit was just the screaming. It was a bit annoying.
I knew you had something horrible in store for us…
I suffer things far worse than Bij everytime i look in my closet and see my Toronto Maple Leafs jersey hanging in there. Do your worst BOY!
I laughed all the way through this! I actually found his preformance in that 5th Element really funny, not good but funny.
The Fifth Element is a movie that you can’t take as a wholly serious movie. It’s meant to be a loud, over the top, crazy awesome action movie.
Sure, it’s not perfect. But it’s still a lot of fun to watch.
Ruby Rod is the man…not annoying, hilarious. More Rush Hour clips would have me enjoying this much less.
I hear by declare Chiris Tucker a mortal enemy of the Klingon Empire he must be destroyed
It will be a deed worthy of many songs. The great Chris-Tucker-hunt, an epic for generations to come. :D
I… Made… IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gotta say that wasn’t that bad. I mean it started out bad but mostly it was just clips of one of my favorite sci-fi movies The Fifth Element. I mean it wasn’t exactly the best parts of the movie but as far as Chris Tucker clips go I find those quite tolerable.
Q’aplah! I… survived.
As did I, my brother! It was… a great struggle.
They shall sing songs of our victory!
Spoony you are a Sadist!
I dropped at 0:45.
My god. It’s like a Youtube Poop… but on fire.
This is now the weapon of choice for the teenage terrorist to leave on Old Man Jenkins’ porch.
I have passed the Hippy Endurance Test in the past, over 2 hours of horrible singing. Chris Tucker for under 4 minutes is nothing, I watch this movie on purpose on freaking BluRay all the time :P
Most of this was from Fifth Element… and I love that campy bullshit. No problem!
That’s your idea of pain? You fuckin’ sissy! Should I start calling you girls names from now on, like Dr. Cocks?
(not trolling, just good natured ribbing)
After seeing Tracy Morgan in Cop Out, this was almost tolerable by comparison.
He’s way more annoying and uncomfortable in the Rush Hour clip. 5th Element is just too over the top to not find funny.
oh god.. the pain… this hurts so badly
That’s all you got? :p
5th Element makes me feel so alone in this universe.
Because I have never more hated a movie that everyone else seems to love.
I do NOT get the following. Whatsoever.
Chris Tucker is a great actor. He makes me laugh ( :
I am just confused.
Is that all you got crypt keeper? You think Chris tucker can bring a Klingon down?
The f*ck was that s*it?
I laugh in the face of your BIJ! MWHAHA!
Your lozing it Noah
chris tucker is cool
…when does the hurting start?
Dude, you gotta work with me here. I’ve been Furry since ’88. You haven’t even STARTED on my pain threshold yet.
You people realize this was Level 1, right? It only gets worse from here on out…..
I like Chris Tucker, and I made it through the whole thing. Do I like, get a prize or something? Level 2 better be better than this. Yeah, the screaming was annoying, but I can take more than that.
I have to be the only person ever to think that Chris Tucker gave a very funny performance in the 5th element. Honestly he was perfect for the roll. All his other movies on the other hand are crimes against humanity.
pain? barrel of laughs more like Chris is proper funny
Chris Tucker was classic in 5th Element.
If this is the worst you got, I’m on the level of Bruce Lee.
GUAAAAGH!!!! “inhales” HAH!!!!
Is that all you got….I experienced worse….bring on the pain.
I listened to the whole thing with headphones on. Try overlapping him with Jar Jar Binks and Pauly Shore, then we’ll talk pain.
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
I …. trusted you.
5th Element is a guilty pleasure of mine
sorry, Spoony, you’ll have to try harder if you aim to torture me
lol At all the 5th Element Fans coming out of the woodwork. At least almost seeing Mia Jovovich naked made up for the screaming.
What in the fuck was that?!
you think that’s PAIN???? I’VE SEEN NEVERENDING STORY III MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Easy! I seen these in theaters AND I own the Fifth Element.
Um, what was this about again?
I see Bij, and thing “Oh cool! Spoony is reviewing that old star trek ‘interactive’ boardgame!” and then you stabbed me in the ears.
It’s on now. I will endure your trials. Ever single one.
Somehow, I don’t think proving one’s willingness to endure a boring waste of time qualifies as a Klingon test of manhood.
But Spoony, this is hilarious.
Chris was awesome in the 5th Element.
Pfft, that all you got Spoons? I actually find Chris Tucker entertaining! You’ll have to do better than that.
But I actually like Chris Tucker. In fact, I think that Cop Out would have been better had they put Bruce with Chris Tucker again.
I might have actually rented that movie.
I rented it twice. Now, it was on Netflix, so I didn’t pay anything extra for it, but I completely forgot I had seen it, so I readded it to my queue.
Five minutes after it started, I was pissed off all over again…
My sanity level:
A slight headache
Amnesia: The Dark Descent reference?
OK, so light entertainment while we see where the starship USS Linkara’s Foyer delivered you…HA, I scoff at your “Chris Tucker,” my ex-wife has the “Fifth Element” soundtrack and it INCLUDES that bit on it!
Um… ok, I get what you were going for here, but… huh?
I mean seriously, you couldn’t think of any other annoying Chris Tucker moments? Or are those just the only two movies of his you own? (me too)
And really, gluing all those moments from The Fifth Element together hurt my soul. Thats in my top 5 favorite movies of all time, and watching this makes me question why that is.
And if you were just gonna do that, why include the Rush Hour 3 clip? Its just awkard and out of place.
I have to admit at 2 min’s in my brain started to numb but I fought through it
i watched jersey…fucking…shore last night. i know true pain. i KNOW TRUE PAIN!
Dude, i sat through the whole torture scene in Audition when i was 16. THIS IS NOTHING.
Why does this remind me of the Madness of Roland?
I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I thought this was hilarious.
It was hilariously bad, but still hilarious.
That was… that was haunting.
Noah Antwieler, you will pay for your sins!!!!!!
I laughed in the faces of elder gods as they slowly drove their slimy tendrils into my very mind, I could slowly feel my very sanity dripping away, but that was nothing. For now I have seen true horror and I fear that I shall not recover
I couldn’t watch it, the torture was too painful.
there is only so much of chris tucker one can endure, this was too much
I love The Fifth Element. Comedy GOLD! Great clip.
The Clips are from Star Trek NG video board game (Nightmare Clone)
It all started because of that horrible Brokencyde video. Now we are cocky and see what we can endure. Interestingly, the Brokencyde video was harder to sit through, as much as I despise Rhuby Rhod.
Seeing as i like both the fith element and the rush hours this really doesnt bother and as i type level 2 rock music is playing away. Is it supposed to hurt? I think im immune! lol
I know your trying to say these are supposed to be really bad an annoying, but Chris Tucker in Fifth Element was hilarious haha so ya I found that funny =P
This is both sadistic and brilliant.
Fifth Element is one of my favorite movies. You’ll have to do better than that!
Celine Dion should grow a mustache and quit.
Watched it from start to finish, volume up high, earphones in, never paused once.
IS THAT ALL YOU GOT FOR ME, SPOONY!? COME AND TEST ME.
Vad quv vo’ ‘oh!
Seeing that the 5th Element is one of my favorite scifi movie this pretty much was a walk in the park… I actually find Tucker pretty funny in this. xD
What have we done to anger you, O Spoony one?! Save us from your wrath, this Bij is too much!
Chris Tucker?… He’s good in the way that he has never played outside of his place in movies and media in general. Like if he was to play a romantic leading role in a hyped up multi million dollar summer movie or start up his own talk show?… nah… (but it doesn’t happen for a reason).
MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!
do you know that: “Bij” in polish mean hit?
I like how half the comments are “Why would anyone do this!?” and the other half are “I accept your challenge.” Videos are challenge? I though they’re just supposed to be entertainment!
And entertainment doesn’t have to be pleasant, so i like this video.
Ya know, I believe my ears are bl– yep, yeah, ears are bleeding, thanks Spoony, ears, bleeding.
Apparently I’m immune to Chris tucker cause this video didn’t bother me at all.
I have to agree with you there. Strangely, 5th Element is the only movie I actually CAN stand him in.
That’s because 5th Element is the kickassiest movie ever.
nuqDaq ‘oH puchpa”e’
Am I the only one who thought that the title was “Experience BJ?”
this video was only 3 and a half minutes? it felt like 10.
I watched that, you bastard! Is that what you wanted?!
What the hell did I just watch? It was incredibly crack smokey and very scary
the sad thing is i know every one of his lines …..and its hot hot HOT!!!!!!!!
HA! I laugh at your puny challenge! I FEEL NO PAIN FROM THIS!
way to easy i think spoony is trying to nice about this because he`s basically a sound dude .go for the throat spoony go for the throat ! we can take it dear god i hope we can lol.
Ha! I love 5th Element, so the first doesn’t faze me in the least! As for 2nd and 3rd, I’m a Quebecois!! If you can’t endure her you won’t even survive to your 18th birthday where I’m from! 4th? As if such mediocrity could even begin to affect me! Bring it on, I say! DO!! YOUR!!! WORST!!!!!
You know which character would be much more appropriate for this? Hank’s father Cotton on King of the Hill. Practically every word he says makes me want to boot him in the head.
After showing my wife this, she told me to sleep on the sofa. Thanks
its like the female Nicki Minaj
Not really Bij. I survived this since the main guy (guy with the funny hair) is just harmless comic relief.
I’ve been reading your comments. Wow! You sound wise beyond belief!
Without coming across as a know-it-all, of course.
Are you sure you’re not 60 years old?
I mean no offense, but “kids” usually don’t have the intellectual capabilities you clearly possess…
If it was Tracey Morgan then maybe, JUST MAYBE, I would have been more likely to submit