Following two surgeries and doped-out on prescription painkillers, The Spoony One returns to face his own private Apocalypse on the Atari 2600, the argued worst game ever made, E.T. The Extraterrestrial.
supreme beings of leisure, you hear em when the credits roll by, have a look at em at youtube. great video spoony, cant believe you did it under sedation and horrible pain.
THAT is sacrifice for the fans. Thanks for what you do for us.
You poor, poor man… for all the reasons shown in this film. I’d say “thank you” but it really doesn’t seem like enough. You are a true martyr… and still alive as a bonus!
Hah, I didn’t like the movie either.
Under sedation? Wow, man. That’s a little something I call dedication. And to review what called the worst video game ever is a bonus.
ET was a huge financial and sales failure for Atari, but it really wasn’t that bad of a game, at least in the context of other 2600 fare. I played it quite a bit as a kid. Better than the abysmal 2600 ports of Pacman and Donkey Kong.
you guys suck (= this vidio was fcking awsome and yeah the game was pretty good………….it was hard though )=.
End was the best part :D So sexy :D Horay for speedo and bloos spiting :D
And more seriously… I really appreciate your sacrifice :)
And still… HOT :D
holy shit I saw KotoR 2
Wow, that was great, and the fact you were under sadation! *claps*
Actually the developers put work on it… The problem is that the idea for the game started a few weeks before Christmas. And they wanted to make until then, but they didn’t had the time so that’s why this happened. Anyway, all your videos rock! And I hope that the movie review links will be fixed!
After watching this for…well alot. being entertained by all these reviews. I went onine, order’d and got this game. anything so bad is worth playing once…and i played it…once.
dude ure really sick playing this game should have let AVGN take care of this one and do another one cause its just making u less healthy
This is one of the finest video reviews i have ever seen.
dude u r brilliant i mean painfull isnt the words you would use to describe your pain holy crap ur a great game reveiwer and keep it up thx for everything!
…aw you sound like you’re in so much pain :(
can i have your babies, per chance?
Here’s how you beat the game. First you set the game select to option 3 – THIS GETS RID OF THE AGENT AND THE SCIENTIST and makes life infinitely easier.
2. collect all the pieces of the radio using the question marks.
3. Find the crosshair glyph in the forest and remember where it is.
4. Find the weird mask glyph and raise your neck.
5. Get back to the crosshairs and then sit there and wait.
Damn Noah is sexy with no shirt on!
I would sex him up!
I thought sissyphus was the guy who could not drink water but had a great thirst.
Do get out of the holes you hold down the float button, wait until you clear the hole, and then drop down.
This is basic.
You have no excuse for not being able to figure it out.
You either suck at games or were just jumping on the bandwagon for the sake of being edgy. E.T. is actually a very good game for the atari 2600.
Baane are you F*ING mad???
E.T. a good game? that game caused the video game crash of 83. If it weren’t for nintendo and sega the gaming industry would have been destroyed, and therefor we couldn’t play games cus no one makes them anymore, gaming would have been a forgotten thing.
It didn’t cause the crash. People didn’t see this game, proclaim it was awful and give up games entirely. Its overproduction was one of several things that lead to it, but that’s about it.
That said, the game is pretty awful.
Considering the restrictive contract with the game, which only gave the developers six weeks to finish the game (when Atari games usually needed three to four months), it isn’t that bad. Even the game’s developer, Howard Scott Warshaw, believed he made a good game for the time he was allotted.
So if we’re going to blame something for the video game crash, let’s blame Spielberg, for being a greedy bastard. He only gave them six weeks because he wanted it out by Christmas, and he had them produce six million copies, when they usually only produced around 400,000.
Yo bane you have no excuse for not being able to write, “do get out of holes”, oh snap!
its ofc fine to have your own opinion about everything, but if you cant see that this game is fucking hilariously bad, and a pain in the ass u have a serious problem. Its prolly THE game that could make yourself blow your head off.. or claw your own eyes out becouse its so bad.
as for Noah – Spoony. I can only salute him. Under the pain he’s in, he chooses to make a review about the worst game ever made. U R ZHE BEST SPOONY
Why does someone always say this game was great?
Why would you want to spend time with a shit game just to say your good at it?
As usual Spoony you are the Bees Knees.Great Review. Shit Game.
This game was so bad i couldnt even finish the review!
I see a lot of replies to my comment and a lot of borderline insults, but no real arguments.
If you can’t grasp the concept that you’re supposed to remain floating until you clear the hole before you drop down, you suck at video games. That’s the end. I am sorry.
This game also had an ending, and was in fact one of the first games to even have that! It also had an alternate ending, which is what the flower is for.
For people complaining about bad graphics: It’s the atari 2600, dudes.
One bad game cannot cause an entire industry to crash. But let’s just say it caused Atari to fail – what about the other companies it was competing with? They would stand to gain, not fail, at the elimination of a competator.
The first people I’ve seen bitchin’ about this game were idiot 12-year olds, and that should tell you all you need to know.
Spoony even underlined that during this review he
1) Wasn’t using even half of the game’s functions. For example, you can eat the candy for health. You can also dash.
2) Was in severe pain and didn’t care enough to give the game a serious review.
Love the Apocalypse Now opening. The best friggen part. My number one favorite war film.
I just had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. My face looks like marlon brandos
the sound is not in synch with the video
son releave yourself by destroying the game
to be fair, there IS some games out there that is worst than this…
Sure, E.T was bad, but it was made by one guy, had lot of restriction due to the ATARI thingy that was pretty weak back then, and it CAN be finished, if done correctly (a guy on youtube did it)
It seems to me that Spoony felt into the E.T bashing hype with this one^^.
As for its oponent, well, dirty dancing is one of them of course (released in 2007 guys…) or the not so well known but terribly awful Big Rigs…
But IMO, the worst game ever is, by far, action 52 on the SNES (or its pathetic sequel, cheetahmen 2).Check out the wikipedia pages, some facts are hilarious! (like, a promotion of a 104000$ prize if someone beat the level 5 of one game, yet such game appeared to always crash at level 3…) I would really love to see spoony reviews this one (even with emulation, he used it here!^^) but eh :P.
Dude… just watching the intro I was in shock. I had all of my wisdom teeth extracted at once this summer and for the next few days, you could not have gotten me out of bed for ANYTHING. Even after watching the review and being fully entertained, I just can’t get over it. Kudos to you, that is some serious dedication.
Guys are pussy. Girls get their wisdom teeth out and they sleep it off and go back to life. God my boyfriend was out of composition for a damn week, what is wrong with you guys! You should have played a more trippy game, it might have been more fun, but then again, if you couldn’t finish E.T. I don’t really know what game you could.
Argh! You’re right, I can’t stop thinking about your sexy body in those blue briefs! Unless you can come to the East Coast, I’ll have to settle for less.
What can I say? I think nerdy guys are cute.
first time watching the stuff on your site, seriously…
best opening ever.
“every minute ET squats in the bush he gets stronger.” , i can’t stop laughing at that
Don’t worry Julia, you are not alone.
The thought of playing this game causes me pain, I can’t even imagine having to play it in the state you were in. You’re too good to us fans, thank you.
i feel so bad for you,just playing that…thing is bad enough.
Baane, the floating mechanic is so broken that you’ll randomly drop to the bottom of the pit anyway regardless of whether you hold the float button or not. And if you DO clear the hole you’ll sometimes drop down anyway because the collision detection is so badly conceived. So holding the float button matters little in this case, does it? And even if the floating wasn’t so broken, the number of pits you have to fall into with the small chance that it’ll contain a phone piece, then sloooooooowly climbing back up repeatedly, having scientists that take you away several screens below that do nothing besides annoy and inconvenience, and FBI agents who randomly pop up on the screen to take your things away only to repeat the slogging process all over again are hardly the marks of a “very good” game. So, judging by your lack of standards when it comes to anything, do you think that Superman 64 and AD&D: Heroes of the Lance are “solid” games, that Uwe Boll is an “above par” director, and that a pile of dog shit served on a platter made of dried cow pie and roadkill is “delectable cuisine”? Or is it that you have to pretend to enjoy widely, and deservedly, derided crap and then belittle other people who have something resembling common sense to feel as though you are “above” the hoi polloi who just don’t “get it” like you do? Take your mindless bitch-fits to a site that deserves it, like 4chan or Encyclopedia Dramatica, not a hard-working ‘Net-ertainer like Spoony. Or just swallow the stuff under the sink. Either way works!
The pillars icon makes the humans go away. If you call elliot and he shows up he is suppose to stay on the screen and keep the bad humans away. the game only allows one human on the screen. The game was frustrating, terrible and impossible with agent pedophile constantly stealing your parts. I had this game and eventually managed to finish it on ‘hard’ but it wasn’t any fun to play.
Wow. This was not worth it on you’re part. We’re not worth it. But what kind of jackass am i for complaining. Thanks for helping me NOT even consider picking this game up IF SOME1 PAYS ME. lol i could make this game in paint.
Good opening (reference to Apocalypse Now). But yea- had my wisdom teeth pulled out at once- that goodness it was springbreak- I just stayed at home and waited it out, through all the bleeding, pain…and stuff. But no E.T. Had I been forced to play the game until I won, only to replay it until my full recovery, i would have gouged my eyes out….or something.
As for Noah w/out his shirt…(or pants)……
This whole video was a little something about fan-service, wasn’t it? =D
Didn’t you know ? The FBI agent is a special agent of the Circuit City Division!
To say “I feel your pain” would detract from the obvious Hell you put yourself through to review this game for your adoring public. I can only salute your sacrifice. And applaud the Apocalypse Now reference, of course.
Awesome Apocalypse Now homage :)
That said, I found this for you:
“Oh, you’re having one of THOSE days!”
Nice Ap. Now reference
spoony goes crazy…with fanservice
first off, OUCH about the wisdom teeth. I recently had my wisdom teeth surgery 2 weeks ago, so I know how it feels… but you made a good use of the Apocalypse Now reference XD
man the stuff you do for your fans o___o that’s dedication right there. you actually sound pretty good to be in so much pain. ..and wtf was up with that game…..
thank you for this review because I’ve always wondered what was up with the game that was so bad that they buried it in New Mexico. Now I know…..the horror….the HORROR!!
Kurtz! My Ivory, my River!
Spoony, you should go on pain meds more often because that opening was pure unmitigated fucking genius. Shot for shot that was perfect and the voice over hit it right on the head. It was nice seeing a more understated side of you too
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did not notice the intro was the doors tell now i love the stoner era of music i just bought a doors ablume i do not download music lol
cocaine’s a hella of drug
Heh…I always liked this review.
Dammit, Spoony, that little intro almost made me cry. You looked so stoned! It triggered this weird-o instinct in me to go make you feel better until you stopped playing that depressing music and stopped staring into space. Bwah.
And your voice during the review, it’s so… meh. Don’t feel bad, Spoony! Don’t be stoned! It depresses me out. :(
All the same, I’m so glad you reviewed this thing. Piece of crap, indeed. Thank you for playing it so I’ll never have to.
Oh god, PLEASE get those clothes back on! You’re hot enough when you’re dressed! *utters female klingon mating sound*
Is this what happens if you stay in bat country?
Did you say “I cant remember, I’m just so stoned”?
Why are you drinking Mountain Dew when you are recovering from tooth surgery? Why would you let Mountain Dew get into the wounds in your mouth?
Something tells me it has to do with being stoned out of his gourd, as does dancing with a Wiimote and Nunchuck in one’s underwear with bloodstains on one’s chest.
Wow…it must’ve sucked making this video. I’ve had teeth out before, so I kinda know a tiny bit how you must’ve felt. Poor you, especially with such a shitty game to review at the time.
Though it was quite nice seeing you in just underwear. :3
You should just look for the question mark, not just go pit to pit. The candy gives you extra points when you win. This is a good game if you learn to play very well. Watch this video of this guy who actually knows how to play this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxmgr2fFAuI&feature=related. There is not an ending to this game when you nwin you start again to get the highest amount of points possible. The flower just gives you extra points. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES AND I AM 13 WHICH MAKES IT HARD TO APPRECIATE ATARI!!!
I actually kind of like this game, too. There are worse games than this on the 2600, for example the Pac-Man port. But then again I’ve never played it in massive amounts of mouth pain.
This video makes me sad, you sound so exhausted >:
This is far from the worst game ever. Ever played Action 52?
you should do more reviews in your underwear
Ok, Apocalypse Now reference WIN, HOLY SHIT. And… uhhh… you in your underwear win ;)
Blood and epic pain are the only things not win =( But obviously you’ve long since recovered =P
Apocalypse opening was cool but a lil long. and this has to be your most miserable review evar. please don’t torture yourself ever again. this was painful, lol.
The guy that looks like your grandma doesn’t take away your stuff does he? Well if you are getting chased by the FBI Agent then the best way to elude him might be to try and find the orderly guy and have him take you away. But then again I don’t know if the FBI guy can still take your shit when you’ve captured by the orderly.
Actually ET looks pretty grand and complex compared the Atari games I had. Ever play Ocean City Defender? You just shoot stuff. That’s it. In ET you can run? You can teleport? Collect items? Get resurected? THERE IS AN ENDING YOU CAN WATCH??? Wow. All the Atari games I remember had none of those options. Hmm…I think people are very wrong about this being the worst game
(You could have tried the teleport thing both to escape AND to save steps. More importantly, if you are down to less than 2k life, why not just reset since you won’t win this time anyway? I wonder: instead of falling into the pit 5 times in a row, could you just wait there and telepot to the next screen when an arrow pops up?)
God man… I’m surprised you didn’t regress into the mental state of a Rock… That game nearly broke my sanity in the first two minutes of playtime… Hardcore man… That’s all I can say…
I also Own this game, And Superman 64… Yeah, But I have Games Like Zelda OoT and The Original final fantasy to keep them at bay…
Oh I have a one word review of ET: DEMON!!!!!!
Bah! I want more underwear reviews :3
Yeah… there needs to be underwear reviews NOT completely associated with painful experiences.
(Like Benzaie’s strip in the Phantasmagoria review.)
“Girl Gamers” may be rare- but obviously game reviewer fangirls are not.
Greetings. Congrats on getting through the wisdom teeth surgury. I feel your pain and discomfort, mate.
And now for why I’m here. I’m posting this because I didn’t see anyone who posted something along these lines. (No, I didn’t go through all of the Comments. I don’t have THAT much time on hand.)
From my understanding, an Atari game took about six months to complete in it’s entirety. And it’s been claimed that the team that made this game was only given about 3-4 months to design, program, and create, just so it could coincide more with the movie release. Perhaps more people should consider this fact before ultimately declaring this the worst game of all time. These people honestly tried to make something from this.
Now then, fans, go back to picking on LJN, damnit! THAT’S the company who has caused many of us so much grief and pain! Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, two x-Men games, and god knows how many other liscenced titles.
That’s all from me. If you want to argue with me over this, go ahead and send me an e-mail, or a comment on my site. I’ll probably appear again some day, so keep an eye out.
Kahrne Annabelle Lee
AKA “That Guy Who Needs A Better Name”.
Lee: The circumstance of the developers doesn’t make the game better or worse. We judge it on its own merits, of which it has fairly few. If a mentally deranged programmer hacks out a game that is so bad, people generally commit suicide five minutes after playing, i won’t excuse the game because i feel sorry for the developer–he can’t help he’s deranged and makes psychotic pieces of art.
Sure, there are worse games, but i think because of the licensing and mass production issues, this game is given special attention.
To get out of the holes you hold the fly button until you clear the gap, then drop down.
It’s not that hard.
This is just another game that gets a bad rap because some 16 year old on youtube started a bandwagon of ignorance.
The Apocalypse Now scenes and quotes – awesome!!!
I’m having mixed feelings about this review. I want to rock you to sleep and sex you up at the same time. Damn.
I’m just having a feeling that spoony should make more videos…. now I feel akward.
I usually defend this title, because it seems to me that it gets way too much crap from people, and most of them didn't even played it but instead just follow the word of mouth about it being bad and how there were many cartridges that were buried in a field and so on.
I played this game when I was about 10 years old, give or take a few years. I had no problem beating it, figuring out what most things meant and did, and not only was I just a little kid but also I had no internet to give me tips and I didn't speak English at the time (it is my second language now) so the instruction manual made little sense to me and got almost no help from it.
I don't mention all that to somehow boast on the internetz about my gaming abilities, but to point out that this game isn't really the impossible to beat, frustrating pile of crap people make it out to be. I had all kinds of Atari games in my collection and I can tell you that there were many worse games for the system, and this is one of the games I had that I actually liked. I think that the fact that I never heard about the buried cartridges and most people's opinions about the game when I played it helped me create my own opinion of it.
With that said, good job in your reviews, and way to stay tough and make that much effort to keep the fans of your videos happy.
Can't be as bad as Raiders of the Lost Ark for the Atari…
Just had my wisdom teeth surgery myself.
Laying here, doped up on meds, mindlessly surfing the Net on my laptop in a vain attempt to distract me from the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced… and then I remembered this review.
I found it somewhat cathartic. I now have a new appreciation for this video. You're a soldier, Noah.
Please do interpretive dance in your underthings more often.
This is one of my favorite videos of yours, ever. It's exemplary of your hilarity.
man I am kinda upset I didn't watch this vid five days ago when I was doped up on Vicodin and Ibuprofen after getting all my wisdom teeth taken out. To be honest, I am amazed you could even open your mouth that wide when you were “screaming”. I still can't open my mouth enough to eat a freaking hamburger.
I know I barely spoke the first day, so I only spat up blood for a little bit, but I am still in pain. 5 days later and I still can barely eat solid foods.
God wish I had watched this when I was doped up on Vicodin, would have been so much more trippy haha
WTF DID I JUST WATCH.
I am so confused.
love the apocolypse now styled opening. Hmm next time you do something stoned have it be battle toads maybe?
why does being stoned out of your mind look so natural on you?
Man, I loved that little spaz attack you had at the end.That was funny.
Atari? Soooooooo oldschool haha
I didn't know it was possible not to like E.T. I thought it was like breathing: It's just something you have to do to survive.
This game. This game SUCKS.
3 years after the fact, I must applaud your commitment to reviews oh spoony one! And having been in… let's just say a fair amount of pain, and having had to take… let's just say a fair amount of painkillers, I can sympathise. Honestly it really sucks. It's even worse when the pain wakes you up every single fucking night and you walk around like a zombie because god forbid you can sleep for 3 hours straight…
And yes, this game sucks. Nice apocalypse now reference.
“I own this game” “Start Emulation”“Stop Emulation”
Hey spoony, I'm gonna have my wisdom teeth out (all 6 of them… gotta love living near a nuclear power plant). You can bet I'll watch apocalypse now and play some ET.
Another sad reminder of a shitty game from my childhood.I'm sorry you did this while in pain, I'm too familure with that.Had my wisdom teeth removed when I was a teen, that really hurt.Thanks again anyway.
Another sad reminder of a shitty game from my childhood.
I’m sorry you did this while in pain, I’m too familure with that.
Had my wisdom teeth removed when I was a teen, that really hurt.
Thanks again anyway.
1 great review
2 i feel your pain
3 u do know that hundrds of fan girls are now diddleing themselves to you right ,complet and total win
“Mazes and Monsters is a far out game.”
Not really. He’d already done Mazes and Monsters as a written review.
Just recently found your site via tvtropes.
As it happens, I used to play this game at a friend’s house and win it when I was like eight. You may not have realized this, but the Atari has two difficulty toggle switches. As I recall, one of them turns the FBI agent on and off, and the other one turns the scientist on and off. You turn them both off, and you can actually finish the game and see the ending. So weirdly enough, I actually remember the game being slightly fun. I occasionally tried turning on the switches, quickly realized that it sucked to have the pieces stolen, and turned them back off.
So anyway, if you ever do want to actually see the ending, just put it in easy mode.
I would be more traumatized if Fox Mulder took away my sunflower seeds D:
Okay, I literally have no idea what was up with the ending. xD Vicodin must REALLY mess you up. (I know the feeling, though, I had five teeth pulled and the painkillers knocked me out like a tranq gun. Thank God I wasn’t on them for long…)
Also (even though it’s three years later) NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. If (God forbid) you find yourself stoned on pain meds after something, for the love of all that is holy, don’t put yourself through worse pain! D: (Great review, though. You are a trooper.)
If you mean Spoony’s hallucinated dance at the end of the review, it is as he said at the start of it: “From Apocalypse Now guys, get some culture if you haven’t seen that”. It is the opening sequence of the film with Martin Sheen’s character totally wasted in some room in Saigon. In real life it was Martin Sheen totally wasted and depressed in some room in The Philippines.
So…Martin Sheen dances around in his underwear while wielding video game controllers in Apocalypse Now? xD
(I’ll be honest, I know little about that movie except it’s based on Heart of Darkness, which I have not read. But I guess I should add that movie to my list now…)
Oh, Spoony. I felt so bad for you, watching this!
He reviewed Eddie Torez?
Fuckin insane man,fuckin insane…That musta really sucked ass
When I got my wisdom teeth removed I never had the need for the heavy painkillers. Just ibuprofen! I even ate chips and salsa, plus pizza just hours afterwards! I never felt any twinge of pain at ALL.
The horror… the horror… (indeed)…
I remember my brother got this game for Christmas the year it came out. We were all pretty dumbfounded by how bad it was, but here’s the really wild thing…we had so few 2600 games to play that I kept at that one, and I eventually got good at it. You could stop from falling the moment you entered one of those pits, which helped your game immeasurably, since you could duck into one whenever you saw the FBI guy. You came out, and the screen redrew, usually without him in it.
But yeah, an awful game.
Dude, talk about suffering for your art!
You’re a great man, to force yourself to review this terrible game even while in so much pain….props, man.
You sad, sad man. Why would you do that to yourself? Watching it was painful. I mean, really, I thought it was bad when my mum left me in the grocery store parking lot for a half hour after I got my wisdom teeth removed bleeding all down my face. But fuck man, you just tortured yourself for your fans who sound sort of mean. I want to call you an idiot, but I just wanna give you a hug.
And is it creepy to think your hot, mostly naked, even if your out of it and smeared with blood?
I liked the artistic style of this one. Very different. I feel ashamed I’ve yet to see Apocalypse Now. Though after seeing this I might.
I’ve been there with the wisdom teeth, man. Not fun.
And I’ve also played E.T. Even less fun.
Put them together? Well, I’m kinda surprised you didn’t commit hara kiri for realz.
Your health should have been number one. But I guess in showbiz the show must go on.
My boyfriend played the game and he never finished it either. He threw it out I guess after a short time playing it.
hope you got some sleep after that bro.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me when I got my wisdom teeth out.
At least you get to be like completely high for a few days, though.
I’d hit that.
get to the…..ceiling fan
Your cheeks didn’t look puffy. When I had my three wisdom teeth removed, a day later my cheeks were puffy like hampsters for over a week. but I know how those painkillers work and I know how buzzed off your fuckin’ ass you are while you’re coping with the pain.
Ok, i heard a lot of people liked..so now i HAVE to see it.
omg you look so young spoony in this :D
I know right?!
God I love watching all these vids at night when Im too pissed to play anymore games. I remember when they came out…havnt watched since. And Samaanthia is right…he does look uber young…makes me wonder were the past few years went.
As much as I love your reviews… I never want you to do them while you’re sick! If you need rest, then rest! :(
Spoony, you…….. are a trooper. You are the greatest. And we appreciate you for this.
nice ode to apocalypse now
Ergh.. I just had my wisdom teeth out this morning. I feel your pain, Spoony.
I had mine out this morning as well. All four of them xD ugh…Vicodin, you are a godsend <3
I can hear the blood in your mouth. Eesh…marronne.
It’s too bad theres no ET the Porn game. Spoony and Brad could do a cross over.
i never really played this game why is it so bad
wow that should be one of the tortures for one of the rings of hell :P
I hated E.T. too. I don’t understand why a kid and an alien riding a bike is so enthralling.
ET: the horror! The horror!
I love the smell of torture in the morning. It smells like…victory.
I had my wisdom teeth removed. Not so much fun.
I have always heard how horrible this game really is. Wow is all I have to say. I think that game would frustrate the hell out of me.
never had wisdom teeth. but we love you spoony!
This is a masterpiece
So, so brilliant. The end scene was just as creepy as the actual movie; well done. Also, wise choice having lots of painkillers on hand for this game.
Why people claim this is the worst game ever I have no idea.
There have been FAR worse games made before and since E.T. Didn’t anyone else play Heavy Rain?
It was also not the game that brought about the gaming crash of the 80′s either. You can put most of the blame for that on Pac-Man on the Atari. Now there’s a story worth looking into.
E.T was released just as the gaming crash began.
I’m looking forward to The Nerd Movie of which the main plot device is E.T. The Game.
Spoony tripping out in his briefs…me like! <3 Oh yeah, the review was entertaining too.
So apparently Atari spent 125 million on this game. In modern dollars, that would be about 290 million.
Howard Scott Warshaw would like a word with you…
But no, really. This video is a thing of beauty. Be proud!
Stay awesome, The Spoony One… CHANNEL Awesome!
This game obviously had no effort put into it. However the really sad games are the ones where you KNOW they put like years into it, all kinds of new innovations, etc and yet the game STILL sucks.
Did you know the game was designed, developed and programmed in only 5 days?
It had lots of effort put into it, alas it was rushed to cash in.
I went and found an emulator and a rom to play this and.. yeah. It’s as bad as it looks and as bad as people make it out to be. Shock of shocks, right?
God, I don’t know HOW some people can finish a game like the Ultima series that take DAYS to finish even when you know what you’re doing, yet they WHINE like little BABIES when playing E.T.! For goodness sake, the game is EASY. I could beat it when I was 6 years old with no trouble what-so-ever. Did someone not mention the Atari 2600 has difficulty sliders on it and you can actually turn off the FBI and/or Science guy with the flick of a switch if you don’t like them chasing you? This seems to be your #1 gripe and it’s an OPTION (roll eyes). I mean hell, if a 6-year old can figure this stupid game out without reading the manual and win it can’t be all that hard. Pac-Man for the 2600 was WAY worse, IMO. Actually, a LOT of 2600 games were worse. The 2600 sucked hard. It was more amazing when a game for it WASN’T bad. I got an Intellivision and then Coleco as soon as they came out. Much better.
In any case, the pits ARE annoying, but they’re the same damn things found in Raiders Of The Lost Ark (which was a hit) and the patterns never change in a game. In short, only an IDIOT keeps walking into the pits like you see in this stupid review (BTW, you can keep from losing life falling into the pit by pressing the button and using his head. And also the definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, which is what I see when I watch you try to get out of a pit by moving upward once out of the pit screen and back to the main one when you have to go left/right. Did it dawn on you to try something different or do you just enjoy watching the same result each time?)
I mean does this guy have ANY joystick skills what-so-ever? I watch him walk RIGHT INTO A PIT like he can’t avoid them and then brag about being able to get out because he’s actually good at it! Good??? You can’t play a baby’s game for shit dude. Elliot needs a symbol to call and he comes EVERY TIME but ONLY if you’re standing on his symbol (e-shout thing). You can’t just do it anywhere. Yes, you need the 9 Reese’s pieces to get a phone piece, but then you don’t have to look for it and you can just run around collecting candy. The key is to find the place to call the ship first and the landing spot in the forest (annoying but doable and the FBI guy doesn’t come after you if you have no radio and frankly it’s just a matter of running around looking for the symbol to appear) and then get the phone bits as fast as possible (mark down or better yet just remember which pits they’re in but don’t collect them until you’re ready) and then go fast (as you mentioned, it takes maybe 3 minutes to win). Game Over. The BAD part is the repetitiveness, not the controls or running into pits accidentally (i.e. the pits are boring and so is the gameplay, but like Haunted House was actually fun?). BTW, I wrote all this from memory and I haven’t played the game in over 20 years. It’s not that complicated. It’s not much fun, but beating a level was some small measure of satisfaction whereas nothing made Pac-Man satisfying on the 2600 period.
BTW, the review bored the crap out of me with all the constant whining and zero skills. I could beat this game in 3 minutes right now. I think I’ll play a game on the emulator right now and prove it to myself. Some people just suck at video games I guess. Try Asylum on the C64. You have to map it out on graph paper to win or you can’t find your way around the maze in the dark when the power goes out. I don’t imagine you’d have the patience to beat a game like that (let alone a text adventure, most of which need mapping) if you can’t deal with an easy game like E.T.
Did you watch the opening he is off his face of painkillers.
when comparing the review and your comment, I think you’re the one who is whining more.
Are you fucking stupid? Fuck you bitch
Try not to talk with your mouth full of cock. You sound retarded making those sounds.
Alright, whatever, did you know that at the moment I have a toothache the size of Texas and want to either kill someone or stab myself in the head through to the brain to kill the part of my brain that feels pain. Pills only work so long and I found myself taking four showers today to just stand in the hot water to at least be able to ignore the pain. I can’t go see a dentist till tomorrow or later, and it has been going on since late Friday meaning that I do not get to go to one till the end of the god damned fucking weekend because NOT ONE SINGLE DENTIST actually works on the fucking weekend because they are fucking dicks.
Don’t tempt me to scream and rant, I whimper at least every three mintues, burst into tears ten times today alone. I can’t take any sort of pill until two hours.
But as I type trying not to scream, rant, or bash my head into the desk and laptop I must ask you a question: If you want to beat the game quickly WITH NO SKILLS AT ALL, then go ahead and turn that switch off. But it takes a REAL FUCKING GAMER to not be tempted to fucking CHEAT.
I am sorry for the cursing, it is hard not to just shout them at the top of my lungs.
Since when are difficulty and option settings ‘cheating’? It’s not like it’s an undocumented feature or a game genie. You have the OPTION of learning the game on an easier setting if you want (or if you’re simply annoyed by that stupid FBI guy) and can turn it back on at any time. I’m simply saying Spoony RANTED about it when it’s a documented game feature to turn them off if you don’t like it. It’s one thing to hate a game because it’s boring, but another to whine about something that’s not an issue (like running into pits because you have no patience to see how to exit them properly or avoid them in the first place. E.T. DOES suck, but it doesn’t suck for all the reasons mentioned in the review. It sucks because it’s a repetitive one-note game.
Compare that to Raiders of the Lost Ark where you have similar annoying pits, but a LOT more things to do, but once you beat it and get the special initials, there’s not really a lot of repeat play there either. Most Atari 2600 games weren’t exactly Dragon Age Origins interesting, after all (at least Adventure has a random mode to keep things playable).
But now compare these games to Advanced Dungeons & Dragons on Intellivision. Now THAT is a game that is STILL a lot of fun 30+ years later (random dungeons/layouts and a reasonably hard maximum difficulty level combined with a very good use of limited visibility and sound clues to nearby monsters with limited arrows to conserve) and proves that graphics aren’t everything. Frankly, I’d take that game plus Night Stalker and Tron Deadly Discs over every game ever made for the Atari 2600.
BTW, Sears’ Dental Works is open on the weekend (well at least Saturday) and handles emergency cases.
Have YOU ever tried playing a video game like this while stuffed full of prescription painkillers because you just had several teeth CUT out of your mouth, and they had to do ANOTHER surgery because they couldn’t get one part out? And while SPITTING BLOOD because you took the gauze out of your mouth so you could talk and do a review for people who asked you to, instead of taking some time to rest up first?
Hey, I’m a big fan of prescription painkillers. EVERY game is better on prescription painkillers. :p And yeah, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I didn’t try to play E.T. afterwards for some odd reason, though. It must have slipped my mind. I think I went for listening to Pink Floyd’s Ummagumma instead (only time that album makes a lot of sense). Next time I get some teeth cut out, I’ll give it a shot, though.
That was a cool monologue at the beginning….down right awesome…now I gotta see Apocolypse Now…
saw it… fell asleep during it.
Then you didn’t see it.
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Don’t know why, but the intro reminds me of Jacob’s Ladder.
The ending was so funny and so artsy! WTF? XP
Congrats on the review and all, but weren’t you like 26 when this review came out? I’m just confused because I got my wisdom teeth out a week after I turned 15. I’m not good with these numbers, but congrats on being a soldier.
I had this game as a kid. I don’t think I ever actually played it though. Young as I was I could feel it’s evil.
oh that is hot
e.t. as a game is just dumb. but the worst? maybe for atari, sure. but in general. any game that has a story, plot, and character development and then falls on its ass due to contidictions etc…then e.t. has aged well considering.
ET gets such a bad rap because people dont know how to play. Hell, i never seen you run once, or use a power. In the video, you found the spaceship call button rather easily. The map layout is just a cube, with the city on the bottom and the forest on top and the four pit screens around the middle. Finding out whether a pit has a piece in it is as simple as raising your head on a ? tile. send the humans away on the III tile. Get the three pieces and call the ship on the space invader tile, then go stand on the landing pad tile in the forest with no humans on the screen with the exception of elliott. Keep him on the screen by kiting him and the other humans will stay away. the flower gives a fourth life.
In all honesty this is a hell of a job on a game for six weeks. Theres no bugs or glitches ive ever seen, and the opening graphic of ET’s face is among the best images put on the 2600. Let this game up for air and rip on superman 64, which is a real failure in game design and looks like crap for a 1999 64 bit cartrige.
I agree. ET does NOT deserve the bad rap it gets. I’ve never seen a review of it where the reviewer actually read the manual. ET is very difficult on game 1 with both the scientist and the FBI agent present (which is changeable by flipping the player 1 and 2 a/b switches). The manual suggests that you start out on game 3, I believe that has no scientist or FBI agent till you learn the game.
This game is impossible to play unless you read the manual and know what the object is, what the symbols mean, etc. Heck. I’ll bet you didn’t even know that if you grabbed 9 candies that if you called Elliot to you, that he’d give you a piece of the phone thingie.
You NEED to read the manual to play this game.
There are FAR WORSE Atari games than this one. I could name an entire library full.
Give this game one more shot. Practice and learn to use your powers to get away from or to send the humans packing. I didn’t see you use one power during this review. Run when you need to and eat the candies for life force. When you drop into the pits, use your power immediately to float back up if there’s nothing in the pit or use it to catch yourself before you hit the bottom so you don’t get the loss of health when you splat to the bottom like you were doing.
This is not a bad game. It’s a very hard to master and very challenging one.
Also, your comment about the graphics. For the time, the graphics of this game were great. When this came out, most sprites were made of one color. This game has sprites made of at least 4-5 colors with shading.
The sound in this game (when played on an Atari 2600 and not an emulator) is fantastic, especially the spaceship landing sound. The footsteps that would get louder and quieter the farther away one of the bad guys was was also an achievement for the 2600.
Please give this game another chance. The manual included a tip sheet with it as well that comes in REAL HANDY for learning the game. I would suggest giving it a good solid read through.
There is also nothing broken or unfinished about this game. Nor is it buggy.
Sorry, guys. It’s bad reputation stems from the original sales back in 1983 and 1984.
Very, very few people liked this game when it came out. Maybe modern gamers can puzzle it out without hints today, but the majority of casual gamers — which is what your basic 10-year-old was at the time — hated it.
I saw a video of a guy who beat the whole game in 5 minutes. That’s just as bad as it being unplayable.
He was playing under the influence of sedatives.
Can we see moar underpants Spoony?
I want to see Hammerpants Spoony.
I can’t lie, that would be amazing.
Well, here I was thinking you went all out for Too Boldly Flee… your dressed up like Sting years ago
i love this review, just simply because even though Noah was in pain and stoned out of his mind he was thoughful enough to give us something to watch, and i got to say Spoony is pretty entertaining stoned.
My heart just aches watching this review… Now I want to punch the people who requested it.
Send them to me when you’re done punching them? I want a turn, too.
As a kid, I was perfectly fine with Chucky, Jason, Micheal, & Freddy, but ET gave me the willies.
… I still have my copy of this game. :(
When I had my wisdom teeth out it felt like it took about 30 seconds. I got a prescription which I never needed due to feeling no pain.
I ate pizza that night and was only mildly inconvenienced by the need to pry it out of my tooth-holes with my tongue. It wasn’t much of anything.
Sephiroth. Kefka. Blackthorn. The Dog from Duck Hunt. Fuck that. The FBI agent from ET is easily the biggest dick in video game dom.
Goddamn it. The song in the beginning makes me think of that clip I saw from the set of
Twilight Zone: The Movie where two very young children (age 6 and 7) and an actor were killed by a helicopter in a stunt gone wrong. It’s something I wish I never had to be reminded of.
Anyone reading this, DO NOT give in to curiousity. I only wanted to let someone know my pain, not share it. It’s not a pretty sight. It happens very quickly, but you can somewhat clearly see the actor and one of the children — A CHILD, 7 YEARS OLD AT MOST — get decapitated by helicopter blades. Seriously, don’t watch it. Your life won’t be any better.
He’s referring to this:
I spent many an hour playing this game when I was a kid. The pits were annoying, but I actually kind of liked it. And…I think I actually still have it.
Incidently, I’m very relieved Noah didn’t re-enact the entire opening Ap-Now scene and break a mirror with his fist. Though I have to say, he was easily as good as Martin Sheen in displaying pain and isolation there. Brrrr…
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What part of the FBI is he with? Phoneland security, obviously.
That sounded much punnier in my head.