Our plucky heroines trot around the world so they can murder several women to steal their clothes, because those darn spheres are worth the effort!
hahaha first comment to show i have too much time on my hands
hmmm wont play for me
Wow! You got part 2 made fast. Awesome! :D
Great review Spoony. I cant wait till part 3
another ep already! you really know how to make my day :)
Lookit Spoony working 27/7 sure. Burning the candle at both ends he is.
I will have to agree that massage killed The series course not like I expect much from final fantasy since 10
Oh man. Cheap shot indeed, Spoony.
Wait, why was Nostalgia Chick at your place?
No! Leave Burton alone! Burton, death ray!
I had to watch the horror of the accordion a couple times. That was just fantastic.
Beat more than the 51-45, half a game out of first place Pittsburgh Pirates, huh? =P
Curse the fucking Toriyama for making such awful dialogue with such shitty fan services that convince all the otaku to buy this game. Fuck him!
Tetsuya Nomura is the one to blame for the ridiculous character design.
Have you seen this Nooj guy? You showed him in the video briefly.
You thought Seymour was bad? Get the hell out of here.
Tetsuya Nomura makes Rob Liefeld look like Yoshitaka Amano.
After seeing so many Nomura-Monstrosities, suddenly all those pouches and bulging muscles and weird neck lines really don’t seem so bad.
No, Toriyama Motomu are the one to blame. He’s the writter, and Nomura must listen to him for what kind of characters need to appear in this game.
Oh. Oh dear. I think Seymour and Dryden from Escaflowne had a baby.
I’m disappointed Spoony. There weren’t 3 musicians to push into the elevator, you had to do Tobli as well! It gets you one of the best items in the game.
Also, it’s annoying as fuck to do, it would’ve made the commentary far funnier.
now maybe people will stop bitching about the schedule long enough for spoony to take a breath.
Japan not having perverted, incestuous undertones? What are you talking about?
you must admit, japan itself is a very diverse and wonderful culture, but on that same token, japan puts out a fairly large amount of porn and fanservice laden material, not that I disagree with that sort of thing, but there is a lot of that stuff being made and sold
Burton ! No !
Really enjoyed part 2 Spoony, worth the wait :D
any ideas who the guy in the ending could be?
Advent Children Cloud? one of the 9001 guys in black from Kingdom Hearts?
Woah. I live in Pittsburgh and dislike the Pirates and that joke would have just tickled me.
If not for the fact that after 17 consecutive losing years, they are doing great this year.
Still awesome cheap shot though!
I live in Pittsburgh, and the Pirates suck! Phillies all the way! ^_^
Hah! A Dance with Dragons! Good choice for reading, Spoony.
Wun Wun agree.
Ormi: “What?! You’re not giving it back? THE NERVE!”
Jacob: “Yeah, working with the Gullwings is a heavy risk, but the PRIIIIIIIIIIIZE!”
Allabao, the lines are just so hammy in this one.
you got part 2 done pretty quickly, thats very impressive!
and its a great video again of course^^ but im very curious how you will tackle XIII. for me personally thats one of the worst games i have ever played. final fantasy X at least had a good battle system and X-2 tried to be unique with the costumes but XIII is just bad overall… terrible story, terrible characters (except for fang) and terrible gameplay. they even recycled the fucking sphere grid system! XP
noah, just so that we are clear: if you do a review on that game i want you to DESTROY it! DX
Oh lord, the fanservice is off the charts! This game looks AWFUL, but I guess it leads to some classic Spoony footage.
The NChick accordion recital and the lip-flap joke had me cracking up hard.
Here is one thing, that I found weird: Yuna, Rikku and Paine have no problem murdering Leblancs goons, yet when Yuna had the perfect opportunity to just assassinate Leblanc during the massage scene, she doesn’t do it. Granted, killing her would alert the whole base, but she could get away before anyone notices Leblancs demise…. on that matter, why didn’t they just kill Leblanc and her Henchmen at that peak in Part 1?
I know, it would’ve kinda dark for a game like that, but seriously, when you lose the battle against Leblanc and her sexslaves, you’re dead. They want to kill you… kill them first… morons!
WOOT!!! Yay Spoony :D You’re so hilariously awesome and spot on
Gah! Did not see that one coming (Leblanc’s love nest sphere)… curse you Spoony! Also, another great episode :)
I was expecting some kind of Benzaie reference at 18 min.
At least the lack of syncing in the lips can be explained by the same renders being used for Japanese and English. I mean, who the hell knows what the Japanese translation of “La La La LaLa La” is?
Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra RA
Huh… who knew Lady Gaga was covering Yuna.
I shouldn’t laugh, but that was good.
“Ra Ra Ra RaRa Ra”
Am i the only one who saw Big boss in there?
So the henchmen were there every step of the way as you gathered female uniforms, and they didn’t think to up the security for three masked females entering the base? Brilliant.
The awesome sphere was pretty lame but at least there was something on it. It was certainly more interesting than the other 4.
Also I hope we’ll get this long-awaited snark done before the Fighting game-movie month starts. I’ve really been looking forward to it. The FF X review is still my favourite spoony vid.
I think Spoony did say part 3 (and possible 4th one) would come after August.
It looked like Sephiroth at the end.
SPOLIERS- I think its actually ject or the the tidus look alike
I actually think most girls do that, atleast me and my friends do it. ^^
ohhh, blackmail materal. I kid I kid
I hate being as loyal to this series as I am, I keep buying these games every time a new one comes out and every time I am very disappoint. I guess it’s even worse when of all the FF games that have come out on the 2nd and 3rd generation consoles this is my favorite one. It’s not saying much but I actually enjoyed this game. I had fun playing it. And I think the reason why is I had no great expectations for FFX-2 going in. Unlike FF10, 12, or 13, where I hoped beyond hope some of the old magic that made me fall in love with the series would suddenly return, FFX-2 I had no idea even existed until one day I saw it on a Best Buy shelf.
It’s a stupid, pointless, easy as hell game with a much lighter feel to it than any other FF game. I guess since I felt 10 was an abomination the sequel couldn’t do the franchise any further harm and having no expectations this game would be great or awesome made it easier for me to accept it for what it was.
But that’s not to say Spoony isn’t dead on in the faults of this game. This game is nothing more than epic fan service, and the ending was slopped together so people would stop complaining about what a downer 10’s ending was. I never understod why so many hated the ending to 10. I happen to love 10’s ending. Tidus went away, presumably never to return. What more could you ask?
Seriously, just give Leblanc two white flags and tell her to raise them when she wants the bombardment to stop. Then pound the fortress into submission. I mean, it’s not like they have shown any qualms killing people.
As per the FF review tradition, are you going to be wearing Yuna’s boy shorts or Rikku’s bikini-thong combo in the finale?
Now that we know it was boy shorts, I just wanna put on record how disappointed I was that he didn’t picked the bikini-thong.
If you think that massage scene was bad, find a copy of Incredible Crisis for the PlayStation and get to the Love, Fireworks, and Ferris Wheel segment.
Well, you are making this quick. I think I like this review more than X’s.
But why did you skipped that part when you were deciding to who give Sphere, that Nooj was in LaBlanc’s place taking from here sphere that she stole from you and whole Vegnagun deal?
And about New Yevon and Youth League: NY is a reformed (even if it was stated in game that not much) religion, it was stated that some people stayed with them because they were used to old ways and couldn’t find their place in new world and YL is a anti-Yevon group made of people who want to get ride of old ways (IRC their core are former Yevon’s knights). Pretty much main theme of the game is a conflict between past and future, main villain wants to destroy future because of his past, secret boss wants to destroy past for future, and Yuna opposes both of them.
What this guy said
Rikku is kind of like Velvet Sky. When she is put in outfits you would normally consider quite revealing, they’re actually quite modest and conservative compared to what they regularly wear.
I am so glad to admit this is one final fantasy game i don’t own. Great job Spoony, keep up the good work, but don’t over work yourself before ConBravo. lol
I’m sorry, but I totally didn’t get the Slipknot joke. Was it because his stair is standing straight up? SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME!
Goddamn Spoony, you made me couch up my drink with laughter over the part with the Nostalgia Chick and the accordion.
One thing I learned while watching Spoony’s Final Fantasy videos: NEVER eat or drink at the computer while doing it.
I honestly nearly choked on my pizza the first time I heard Spoony say the infamous “Pee in her Butt” line in the FFX videos. Pizza, horror, disgust, and sheer hilarity. A potentially fatal combination.
Goddamn Team Rocket…
And this game really is for perverts that gets off of chicks rubbing each other. It’s like the word “dignity” was erased from Japanese history.
Yeah, its pretty sad when your protagonist’s main rivals make the reoccurring Wedge and Biggs characters in the FF games look competent.
You’re on a role, aren’t you?
Yeesh! Looks like Square Enix is struggling to make this game as lighthearted as possible. And it’s great to know that Final Fantasy’s anti-religion streak started at Ten part 1. My unanswered question is answered.
You know… most disagreements between generations happen for a reason. Do they even explain this reason? At all?
Yeah, and Square’s losing streak started with Ten as well (both film and game-wise).
As for your inquiry? Nope. No reason it given and every faction (even outside of the big two) are so cartoonish and self-centered that you can’t really sympathize with any of them. The only explanation given is that one side (NY) wants to hold onto the old ways and the other (YL) wants to destroy the old ways (but their path ultimately means going to the technology and ways of Zanarkand, IE the REALLY old ways). So….yeah, the plot makes no fucking sense and you are left hoping for a third major faction of giant space bugs to come along so that you can join with them and kill every one on Spira (at least….that’s what I wanted).
I loved your line that insulted storytellers and programmers, and your humorous comment about playing with one hand, and the big zing you did on the Cinema Snob.
When it got the the “singing” and “dancing” of the weird-looking characters, I couldn’t think of anything more than “What the fuck is this?”. Hell, that part of the game is in no way entertaining. I can find way better stuff from 32-bit dancing and “singing” that you’d find in SNES rpgs (ex.: the dancers in Mysidia’s pub from FF2 and the theatrical scene from FF6).
That was a nice use of a Nostalgia Chick cameo by the way.
When I saw the lady moving as if she had Parkinson’s, I knew a joke was coming, but I still found it funny when it came. Please, don’t ever stop with the physical comedy, Spoony!
In a way, it also looked like she was coming on to the audience and humping the screen. LOL
I’m 100% convinced that Square Enix does not have ANY clue what the hell they should be doing with the Final Fantasy Franchise!
I remember when Final Fantasy was your basic story of fantasy and how something big was coming to “finalize” it. Hell, that’s why it’s CALLED “Final Fantasy”! It’s supposed to be something that you can take seriously as a sad, yet powerful and inspiring, story about magic. And they’re supposed to put actual thought as what this “magic” means in that world, instead of just treating it like a worthless, tedious, and yet overly complicated, system of battle power that everyone tries to get for no reason other than to fight pointlessly.
It’s definitely NOT supposed to be about having shallow goofy-looking characters doing a bunch of random, yet repetitive, idiotic crap.
I have this bad feeling that Squire Enix will produce some kind of Final Fantasy dating sim. You know, kind of game that you can have a date and fall in love with heroins like Tifa, Rinoa, and Yuna? This is entirely possible since Japanese gaming industries have been producing tons of perverted games, and nowadays a game won’t sell as much if there is no cute anime girls in it.
I wonder whats the title is going to be.
That dating sim probably already exists (for heaven’s sake, Gainax licensed an entire line of creepy dating sims around NGE).
If they were gonna make a dating sim they’d give the license to Bioware.
Actually they called it FINAL fantasy because square truly believed FF1 was going to be their last hurrah into the gaming world and were pleasantly surprised when they made a buttload of money off of it
Other than that your correct :P
I felt physical pain watching this. Can I sue someone? Spoony? Square? The hosting company at least?
Sooooo glad I didn’t finish this piece of shit game, gotta hand it to you Spoony, this looked like utter torture. After 5 hours I had to put it down, and as for the incest/lesbian sexual undertones, Square Enix might as well make Gullwing pr0n.
Thanks for the birthday present. Nothing more I could ask for than for you to add another video.
love the new intro
What?! You arnt gonna even try being good, game?
THE NERVE! *lip flaps*
it’s not as bad as 13-2 Sqee actually had the balls to say (not an exact quote) We got alot of feedback regarding FF13 but despite the praise a few from the fan base though the combat system wasn’t engaging enough (They literally made the Auto-Battle inhto the primary combat system if you haven’t played it)…blah blah talks about battle system alot…..so in light of that we’ve decided to add (forget what he actually said) Quick Time Events yep thats their solution/response to the widespread hate of FF13 (which he apparently considers a “few”)
That poor dog you were holding. I feel bad for it
That’s Lindsey’s dog, I think she’s probably used to the accordion by now….or deaf.
I know it’s her dog, and I don’t mean to sound mean, but I hope it is deaf. Just kidding, just kidding.
“You play a group of ditzy girls who dress like skanks and fly around the world murdering people.”
Take away the shiny balls and you have the greatest game concept ever.
Yes, who would dare rate someone else’s performance and size in comparison to their own? Spoony would never do that… unless he was doing another Spooning with Spoony episode, at which point he’ll not only rate away, he’ll make sure to annotate it all with Post-It notes! That’s what Riku’s problem is… the lack of Post-It notes.
And yes, at 18:30, we’ve officially reached the Bottom of the Final Fantasy barrel.
Anyways, Spoony, while you’re having Burton get footage for you, you should go relax with a brand new season of DEADLIEST WARRIOR! And… you won’t believe this, they ditched Slitherin Software for a new program, and it actually takes in extra variables like Tactics and Leadership and stuff you were complaining about originally. Yeah you’ll probably hate it, but hey, at least it would make another awesomely rage-filled VLog.
Hilarious. And not just that, when you made your comment about reading your book and playing a game. Then you pull up your copy of ‘A Dance With Dragons’ I loved you even more. Loved it, great work!
Wait… I just realized something. Final Fantasy X-2 is the most faithful game to capture the spirit of EVERY FINAL FANTASY BEFORE IT.
Randomly put together a concert – FF8
Fly around the world looking for magic balls – FF7
Female lead with no personality – FF6 (Flame on!)
Switchable jobs with exploitable AP-based growth system – FF5
Wicket hot jailbait – FF4
Utterly fucking unmemorable plot – FF2/FF3
Insane time travel subplot that has absofuckinglutely nothing with the game’s flow – FF1
Monkey! – FF9
FFX2 is truly the archetypical Final Fantasy game.
Ouch…I always though FF2s plot was extraordinary for an NES game…never play it? Just saying, the first one would have been 1000X better example.
I’m pretty sure Adult Rydia is in her early 20’s at least, at youngest she’s like 18. Her older age is ambiguous, but I’m pretty sure she’s not jailbait. In most character art she doesn’t look like a teenager to me.
And yeah, FF2’s plot may seem unimpressive now, but for the time it seems pretty grandiose, even if it is basically a copy of star wars.
an Awesome sphere? Quick! You can get The Miz job class from it!
But be careful, if you go to far you’ll find the Sphere that You can’t see, and the two spheres will have an intense rivalry.
but wait, maybe youll find the Degenrate sphere and itll cancels both out
yes the weird DANCE, BITCH!-number reminded me of FF8. its kinda weird. even tho the games really look sucky (and i normally agree with you) i kinda feel bad for not playing more of the series… on the other hand… if i want to do an erotic massage…. well im pretty sure i wouldnt use a joypad for that. i wonder if square EVER recaptures what was so stunningly thrilling and compelling about ff IV for example.
Oh Spoony, the incestuous overtones in this is nothing compared to whatever Japan has to throw at you. You so obviously haven’t watched Fruits Basket.
Why does he wear a gas mask?
Maybe he’s looking for his mommy?
A Dr. Who reference? Well done, Isolder. I award you 1 internet.
Yeah, speaking of Dr Who… This is the second time this week that a show I like fucking rickrolled me.
Or maybe his dad is Psychomantis? Who knows!
I’m just throwing this out here, and maybe somebody else has commented on it already, but many countries, Japan included, do not have a problem with cousin relationships as a whole. It doesn’t count as incest there, and so… kinda have to call ethnocentrism on that.
Now, if it was the whole brother-sister thing that shows up EVERYWHERE in manga and anime of late, that I’d be agreeing with you on, since that actually IS considered incest in Japan, and creepy to boot, yet it’s been fetishized by an entire generation of lonely only-child nerds.
Dear God I just got Rick Rolled off of Spoony!!
Three plus one makes how many? THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
This, definitely. A dark room, a creepy voice asking about “three plus one” and that doesn’t result in a clip of Picard screaming “There are four lights”? Perhaps a bit obvious, but a missed opportunity there.
Other than that, though, damn good review. Looking forward to more FFX-2 once theme month’s over! (I really, really hope we get WARRIOR #4 before that, though. The WARRIOR reviews are probably my favorites of anything you’ve done, and I’m really looking forward to seeing it.)
WOOOOO Dance with Dragons! Nice promotion. I got my copy right here as well.
You should have spoken a bit more on the Sphere grid. Even in your commentary for the final part of 10 you didn’t seem to make much sense.
It’s not that hard to fuck up clashing theologies. Make their goals clear and make them opposing one another. If one can’t even tell what either side is standing for, then they’ve failed.
How many metal jokes can you make by the end of this?
She must dance… What? What the flying fuck? That’s the worst excuse for a…. God dammit. I can’t even think of words to properly articulate how dumb that is.
Oh come on! Lyndsey’s pretty good. Takes a lot of effort just to play that thing.
OH GOD NOT THE SPRING SCENE… But…. Must watch…. For Spoony…. Jokes
The massage as well…. Spoony, you better make this shit worth it!
I’m glad you pointed out the fact that if it wasn’t for the dress sphere nonsense and the horrible story and the horrible well everything that the job system was pretty cool cause its the only thing that made me even try to play through the whole thing
This was so good! I love this series thank you so much Spoony! I also got Book 5 of a song of ICE and FIRE!!! I just got it last weekend and had it signed by George RR Martin, my video of this is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srxK04NZ7Qg
I want Yor to glide into the Square-Enix studios and boot ‘em all in the head.
A boot to the head!!
Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…
Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…
Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…
Boot to the Head! Nah nah nah… Nah. Nah nah nah…
And to Squire-Enix, I bequeath….a boot to the head.
I’m surprised there was no mocking of Nooj’s outfit, arguably the worst thing Nomura has ever designed outside of Dirge of Cerberus’ one eyed stripper scientist and the dude in a leather straitjacket with a jock strap over his face…
Rikku has many strings to her bow. Not just slutty lolita jail-bait, she’s incestuous-bi-curious slutty lolita jailbait! This part was even funnier than the last one!
Good lad Spoony
I wagged the Dusty Rhodes finger at the screen with a big, happy, grin on my face after being Rick-Rolled.
It was oddly satisfying, heh. Hell, as far as internet jokes go, even Goatse is a relief after watching so much footage from this game.
Speaking of which, this is how damaging this game’s visuals is to my brain: it took me 16 minutes to figure out Spoony was wearing a shirt of The Thing. And hey, The Thing is available on Netflix’s instant viewing! I think I too shall go see a movie!
Fuck knows I can USE a little Kurt Russell after watching all that horrible acting!
Great review Spoony! Gotta love how Final Fantasy games can somehow have just ONE redeeming feature, and the rest of it is massive crap. And that’s why Square keeps failing massively with this series since 8 or 10.
Great REVIEW and great Big Lebowski reference there : “Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, but at least it’s an ethos.” ^^
SPOONY ONE RULES !
it’s been down hill since 7 and it died at x-2.
great job guys… YOU SUCK SQUARE ENIX!!!
now I’ll tell you that I kinda liked X mostly for it’s gameplay and HELL not for it’s story but I still found it enjoyable, but x-2 is just freaking awful.
9 was good thought :p better than 7 imo :p
I agree, that lip-synching is terrible! Its almost like the game’s audio was in another language or somethi… oh.
I played several JRPGs, all of which originally had audio in another language, and I have never seen lip flapping that bad. These people put the name Final Fantasy on their game, it is not wrong to expect some quality.
No, that’s still NO excuse.
(reposted from an earlier post where I just told someone else this same thing…)
Yes, but some games DO take the time to adjust some animation and not make it look so horrendously bad.
So, you might have explained one thing, but the fact remains that it’s still a lazy job by Square-Enix, at least the US branch would could have done SOMETHING.
Kingdom Hearts had WAY better mouth flap synch than this. Very noticably. Either by changing the animation, or by the voice actors actually bothering to put in the effort to match it. Which is something any other competent english anime dub has learned to do
years before this game came out.
Fact is, this is still a lazy half-assed job on this game. Clearly they didn’t try. You might have been able to explain WHY it is how it is, but it’s still no excuse for half-assery.
Maybe the lip flaps is something to do with the game being Japanese and they didn’t bother to edit it so it fit?
I don’t speak Japanese but I would be very surprised if Ormi’s line was originally an entire sentence, or Yuna was singing anything more than “ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra” in the Japanese version.
maby she was singing “trolololololol” to tell us that square fucking trolled the shit out of us with this game.
Kingdom Hearts had WAY better mouth flap synch than this. Very noticably. Either by changing the animation, or by the voice actors actually bothering to put in the effort to match it. Which is something any other competent english anime dub has learned to do years before this game came out.
Fact is, this is still a lazy half-assed job on this game. Clearly they didn’t try.
That’s what happens when you design the levels before the plot. You end up having to make excuses for the characters to go to the next stage. This results in a rambling plot where characters say and do things with no motivation.
“Wait a minute, the translucent bunny in my dreams told me we have to go to the desert level. Let’s head on out, guys.”
Yeah, in D&D (well, pen and paper rpgs in general), my friends and I refer to this as “Nazi Train Conductor” syndrome (defined as “when your plot is too heavy to move with the party’s choices necessitating a paper thin excuse to get them back on the rails for the sole purpose of saving your narrative at the expense of player immersion”).
what’s with the “never gonna Give you up” jokes? that tune is awesome.
not a bad part 2, though not very “laugh out loud”, the biggest laugh I got was the YORS WORLD, lucil and Elma are wearing the same cloths as FFX why didn’t you mention it then?
The getting the musicians into the lift is totally annoying you mention him passing through solid matter, would have preferred the game to screw you over and make you reset?
This link will explain the “Never Gonna Give You Up” thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
still don’t get it, it’s no worse than most other 80’s Music Videos
sigh……its called a rick roll, its what you put instead of another video that could get a good chunk of views. its like a prank.
I get that, but the tune is awesome, why not use something stupid? hell spoony could have done something original there and used a different vid but instead like everything he’s saying about FFX-2, he does something that is old news and not even slightly amusing any more, and he bitches about FFVIII being predictable and unoriginal.
Not everyone likes Rick Astley, plus it’s a meme, nothing to get your panties in a bunch over and start whining about unoriginality when it was just a throwaway gag that Spoony even acknowledged was old hat in the review itself.
not whining, just, disappointed, spoony can and has done better, hell the Yor bit was AWESOME!
Lurk moar. Life troll less. Or gtfo mah internetz.
wait, this is your internet? yeah, still don’t care.
“Trololololololololo” is all I see from you at this point.
*sigh* Oh christ, dude. It’s like trying to explain quantum physics to a fish at this point.
Dude, it’s a popular internet meme joke. He’s referencing a popular internet joke. That’s literally all there is to it. It’s something everyone (but you) knows about, and that’s why it’s there. THAT’S WHAT THERE IS TO GET.
The song became infamous because it became a symbol over the world to symbolize the humor of a bait and switch. You expect one thing, you get another. And this song became famous for that.
It became SO famous in fact that even Rick Astley himself has used this very song to this same effect as a surprise appearance to perform this song on a Thanksgiving day parade float where they announced it as something different.
And besides, that no it’s not a good song. It’s a dated, silly, annoying song with a remarkably bad video and that’s the joke. Even Astley himself doesn’t like the song THAT much and only got on board with the joke after it basically revived his career and gave him another 15 minutes of fame, which he happily took. Mostly because the song is incredibly STUPID.
Sure, it could have been ANY stupid, dated, silly song. But because this one was used by the creators of the original prank, THIS song is the one that stuck.
I mean, come on. Do you expect this song to be famous for the RickRoll prank only to suddenly have it be changed to Madonna’s “Material Girl”? What would be the point of that???
yes, the post you replied to, I already acknowledged that I know what it is with the first 3 words, I don’t care if Astley doesn’t like it or if he did it a joke, I love the tune.
A game made by brain dead perverts for brain dead perverts, I never thought Square would put out the videogame equivalent of a PG13 skinflick. Awesome review dude, it was well worth the wait.
I wonder if Nostalgia Chick can do Weird Al? I pay to check it out!
What a great idea for an erotic fanfic.
Man, I know nothing about the FF franchise but these reviews always have me cracking up. Lindsay’s cameo was hilarious, and your jokes are always spot-on. :) Anyway, I can’t believe you got through this game – I would have stopped at the massage scene. Btw, you look healthier in these last few videos.
In short, amazing review, crappy game, killer cliffhanger. Can’t wait for the next part!
Lemme express my flat out SURPRISE that you put out two FF reviews back to the back. I was really expecting some movie reviews between here and there.
THANKS BRO. YOU’RE A BRO.
After watching these reviews of X-2 I’ve learned that apparently I had blocked all memory of this game! I guess it was just that bad.
Apparently I did too. All I could remember of it before seeing this review was a few main characters and getting to the final boss in about 15-20 hours of game play.
Not to insult Sad Panda, but I feel like his theme’s lyrics are very… emotionless. It’s the lyrics themselves to be sure, but that merely begs the question of why there are lyrics at all, when the instrumentals are fine as-is? Is it because all the themes he made would sound basically the same without lyri– oh.
Dude needs to get himself some more instrument options.
Maybe he and Benzaie just need to switch Dresspheres.
He’s stealing Burton’s SOUUUUUUL!
Did…Sephiroth just kill Burton?
He looks like he was about to do the “Shining Finger” from G-Gundam, so….yeah, Burton’s doomed to find out that Seph’s hand glows with an awesome power and that it’s burning grip tells him to grasp victory.
And give Burton his love, his anger, and all of his sorrow.
How are Yuna and Rikku cousins when Rikku is an Al Bhed and Yuna is from Besaid?
Yuna’s mother is Cid’s sister, Cid is Rikku and Brother’s father. Therefore they are cousins and Yuna is part Al-Bhed.
Thank you. It has been awhile since I played FFX.
BURTON! NOOO! HE WAS SO YOUNG!!!!
I’m getting reports of an “awesome review”. It just keeps getting better and better :-)
meh, Part 1 was better
You’re just pissed off about the Rick Astley thing aren’t cha? ;)
I can see why Yuna’s singing is so popular: she’s almost completely incomprehensible.
Crowds of up to five applauded wildly.
I didn’t play this game but I knew someone who did, and he didn’t seem to think it was that bad. The one thing I remember was him showing me the amazing FMV sequences and the thing about them comparing boob sizes.
Maybe it’s just me but I’m just not feeling the rage I felt from you in the FFX review or the FF8 review. You really need some proper anger to make it funnier.
What’s with Tetsuya Nomura designing female characters to look like whores (and male ones to look like absolute shit)? This guy needs to get laid – right after getting kicked out of Square Enix’s HQ!
This Leblanc uniform hunt always bugged me: Where did this first uniform come from? The 2 ninja clearly had their uniforms on! Do they walk around with spare uniforms? In that case, Yuna and crew should have FOUR by the time they cleared the mountains.
And how sad is it to have recurring bosses that you don’t even register as boss battles because they are just about as frequent as every other random monster? Gilgamesh and Ultros do NOT approve!
Oh my god.. That picture of rikku in the thumbnail is fucking frightening.. I know what my nightmares are gonna be for the next couple of weeks.. I don’t normally post before I see the review but MY GOD thats some scary shit..
I had nightmares about Rikku before. Most of them involved the cops finding out about us.
While the Philadelphia Phillies have the better record their salary and free agent signings far exceed that of the Pittsburgh Pirates over the past few years. Given the turnaround in the Pirates this season and the fact despite losing yesterday they would’ve been top in the NL Central division, they are half a game back of Milwaukee, and they have the 4th fewest losses in the entire NL. A more appropriate comparison would’ve been the perennial losers in all of major league baseball, the Chicago Cubs. The Pirates have the won the World Series five (5) times since the Cubs last managed to do so in 1908, 103 years ago. Over that 103 year period (not including 2011) the Cubs have an average losing record of .497~ with the median percentage being lower at .487 (the Pirates by comparison sport a close .498~ average with a .508 median over the same 102 year period). Of course, the Pirates hold the North American record for a professional sports team at 18 losing seasons (1993 to 2010) and this season is not yet over so it could stretch to 19 if they falter. The previous record holder in baseball was the Phillies at 16 seasons (1933-1948) and had the Phillies not secured a winning season in 1932 (a staggering .506) they would’ve easy captured a triumphant 31 consecutive losing seasons. The Cubs have their own losing streaks such as over a 20 season period from 1947 to 1966 the Cubs fielded exactly two winning clubs (1952 at a cool .500 and 1963 at .506) and recorded under .400 teams five times during that period (in comparison to the Pirates 18 season slump, they recorded sub .400 teams only 3 times, twice of which occurred in 2010 [.352] and 2009 [.385] marking the vast improvement the team has demonstrated in the 2011 season boasting a present .531 winning percentage). In closing on the Phillies, until two recent bursts of success in 1980 and 2008 (although starting in 2007s playoff appearance) culminating in their only World Series victories, they are oldest (longest running) highest losing percentage team in the history of baseball sporting a .472 win/loss percentage since 1890. I realize I did not count their terrific season in 1993 (.599 w/l% prior to playoffs which broke up a losing streak which would have ran until 2000 – 13 losing seasons in 14 years) since they got bumped in the World Series by my personal favourite team, the Toronto Blue Jays. A similar Blue Jays squad which beat the Atlanta Braves the previous year to win it all, that same Braves team which toppled the last great Pittsburgh Pirates team in the NLCS.
The bottom line, there are worse teams than the Pirates… just sayin’
By the way, good video – your Final Fantasy trashing ceases to amaze.
So what you’re saying is… the Browns and the Jets rule?
Whoa whoa whoa there! I’m talking strictly baseball, Major League
Baseball. As far as the Browns are concerned – their woes are on a
whole other planet so far as the NFL and it’s share of losing teams is
concerned. That’s a can of worms I’d be best to leave untapped, and
buried somewhere under Moses Cleveland’s statue. Even the Indians are better than the Browns…
great review, That was hilarious. I own this game and I’ve never actually played past the opening scene before so watching you go though this is much better than actually playing it.
I’ve pretty much given up on square enix, final fantasy 7 was a great game, but when they realized that all these horny kids had a thing for tifa’s rack they decided to turn final fantasy into a sex symbol, each game curvier than the next. I miss having a good story unfold with gritty characters that all don’t look like preteen supermodel jonathon taylor thomas wannabes like tidus. The only decent games they’ve released lately have been remakes of their past success and they’ve managed to screw that up by retranslating games that were FINE like chrono trigger DS and final fantasy tactics for PSP.
we’ve gone from plots like Cecil having to face the darkness within himself in order to become the light the world needs. to the summoner/pop band singer traveling the world in search of clothing.. in the form of spheres.. if you just heard a bang, that was my head exploding
What? Final Fantasy Tactics had a horrible translation. It desperately needed to be re-translated.
How so? I got through it fine before, without the awkwardly worded old English. and what about Chrono trigger? they changed all the item names, things that made it unique among squaresoft titles and turned the dialogue and spell names into a final fantasy game.
I’m all for fixing spelling mistakes, maybe a grammar error if you find it. But changing the way all the characters talk changed the feel of certain characters, atleast it did for me. I’m just saying they have gotten really good at selling the same thing to us 3 different times, trying to fix something that wasn’t broken with each release. we liked the game before the way it was, thats why we are buying it again on a modern console.
If I wanted final fantasy tactics: Ye Olde Edition … wait I wouldn’t, thats why I’m pissed.
AWW GOD the memories are coming back to me now… makes me tear up every time… this is the death of Final Fantasy :(
anyway your going to dress up as sephiroth this time? kinda looks like it :P dunno why thought xD
HAHA good one again Spoon xD
And LoL nice book, nothing like reading a pervy (and yet miles better) fantasy book whilst playing a pervy fantasy game.
And is that Suede I spy at the end? Nice to see you guys rolling out the welcome back mat for him :D
My gods, it looked silly and irritating in part 1, but people were not kidding about the shamlessness; I honestly thought the massage thing was a joke when I heard about it. I cannot even guess what might be coming next, but I imagine it is somehow worse, though how I do not know. Oh well, at least you had your book to keep you going.
“I cannot even guess what might be coming next, but I imagine it is somehow worse, though how I do not know.”
Actually from here the “girlishness” tones down, A LOT, once or twice it peaks up again but not for long(I’m talking seconds).
To be fair though, if Spoony commented on every stupid fucking outfit, he’d never get done with the review.
Well to be fair, if Spoony commented on every godawful outfit, he’d never get the review finished.
Well, dude I’m not gonna flame you. I agree about Terra in FF6. Great game, but she’s easily the worst part of it. She’s such an annoying weak-willed, irritating little milk-sop who is constantly brooding with self-pity to the point where she’s borderline useless to the party aside from the players commands. Literally the only time in this game she ever does ANYTHING worthwhile is when the PLAYER selects fight or spell.
And that part where she just throws
I remember trying-out the esper-morph power she had. It turned out that you gotta go through many battles just to get a second of her esper form. I think it was something like over 100 battles for maybe around 10 seconds of esper form, at best (but feel free to correct me on that).
She ended-up so practically worthless to me, that I put her as one of the last characters to ever use, if ever. I ended-up only using her when I absolutely had to. Practically all other characters offered a lot more than she could and for a more consistent amount of time.
To me, that whole game was about Cyan, Celes, and Edgar. Terra? Eeehhh not so much.
Terra was badass at the beginning? :P Vicks and wedge were pushovers, Terra had Tekmissles!
then again.. She did fall down a hole and had to be rescued by David Bowie dressed as a pirate.. and a bunch of fluffy cave dwelling winged albino carebears.. But she was more useful then Umaru! but.. he was a yeti.. hmm..
Well she can go all super saiyan and fly around? .. and land at the top of Zozo tower.. making you have to climb up.. and yeah.. k fine Terra does kinda suck.. final fantasy 6 is my favourite of all time, but I’ll admit it lol her character storywise wasn’t my favourite. But what about Shadow? Coming and going as he pleases, throwing all your items at shit!? why can’t he pick them up after!?? his best move is a random Dog showing up. He leaves randomly and takes his sweet ass time , making me wait on an exploding island while he’s off rubbing one out to kefkas naked lady statues. what an asshole! where was I going with this?..
Very lame, very minor complaint…but the Pirates are actually good this year. That’s it. Loving the review so far. Thanks for doing what you do Spoony.
18 years. The Pirates were losers for 18 YEARS.
Spoony gets a pass on that. The Pirates deserve a beating for their horrendous losing streak. Yeah, they’re winning now. But I’m not a fair weather fan. They suck. Even if they pull off a miracle and win the World Series, they suck.
Plus, this is one of his funniest reviews in a good while. It’s a pity that the very nature of the recent Final Fantasy games has gotten so predictably bad.
The Nostalgia Chick had too many lines.
YES! THATS EXACTLY MY POINT ABOUT FF13! If I could read a book while I was playing it, and not miss anything important, and not lose a fight, what the hell am I gonna buy this for?
Second, I liked the sphere system from X. Spoonys complaint of not being able to go where you want is partly true. You are generally locked into a direction you have to go. However, there are a few things that change this a bit. First is that at certain points the grid branchs off in two directions so you can pick a way to get upgrades. The second, is that there ARE spheres that you can use to teleport around the grid to other sections. I believe you can only teleport to places your other characters have been to though, but this is not usually a bad thing since if you want access to magic Lulu and Yuna for example would have been along anywhere you’d want to start picking up magic. There are also spheres that just flat out let you learn white or black magic spells that you have unlocked on someone who has not unlocked it. Besides that, the sphere system in itself is set, at least for the first 20 levels, in a way to make the stats the character is getting are useful to what they’d normally do. Now if he bitched about having to do blitzball to get many of those spheres with any frequency then I’d totally understand lol.
Third, when Leblanc dropped the sphere and the video taunting the Dullwings, how in the fuck did Leblanc even get up there in the airship? It was flying. Even if Leblanc does have some air transportation, how in the name of fucking god did she get in? She’s regularly between by the retard trio. Why didn’t the retardwings try and figure out how she got in so as to prevent other people from doing so? Gah.
Thats it, wrote these while watching the video as they came. If you actually read all this you deserve a medal.
I’ll probably take heat for this but how you feel about 13 is how I felt about 12. It was as though the game was designed so I need not press a button, just walk into a room and let the battle unfold..
The biggest kick in the nuts about that whole % deal in the last video?If you choose the wrong path at the start of the game (between Youth League and New Yevon, and you’re dumb enough to side with the people who, last time, worshiped a cult of the dead and had hypocritical teachings) you cant get 100%. Thats right. And you will never know that without a strategy guide.Square Enix – Raping your childhood since December 2001.
Whoa,i couldn´t stand 2 hours of FFX2.I never played FFX for more than 30 hours.
You´re the MAN man!
As always a great review!
X-2 and XII commit the biggest sin of gaming: being boring. But X-2 did it worse.
The biggest kick in the nuts about that whole % deal in the last video?
If you choose the wrong path at the start of the game (between Youth League and New Yevon, and you’re dumb enough to side with the people who, last time, worshiped a cult of the dead and had hypocritical teachings) you cant get 100%. Thats right. And you will never know that without a strategy guide. In fact you will miss some opportunities right off the bat. So there are times when you can easily miss that 0.000000000001% you desperately needed for 100% completion. And every time you play this game…you will ask yourself “WHERE IS IT”. Thats why gamefaqs was invented people.
Square Enix – Raping your childhood since December 2001.
MONKEY!!! (^_^) XD
To be fair, a lot of people I know make sex noises when they get massaged. MUCH worse than what was coming outta LeBlanc.
Spoony, If you knew any thing about Japanese culture. You’d know that Incest is socialy expectable and cousin mariage is even legal there.
Having played the game 3 times myself in the past, did they ever mention why the Guado aren’t in their own city? Are they even in the game?
I know some tension between the Guado and Ronso’s is mentioned several times.
Makes me wonder how LeBlanc got Seymour’s old house…..
Got your “John Carpenters The Thing” shirt on, eh? You excited?
I was a total fan of FFX but my God, what the hell is this crap, spoons your the only thing in this game worth the watching, I think I just lost my ability to smile when I hear the words FFX-2, Better change my name while Im at it………………..Im going to finish this up, only because its you thats reviewing
As you have probably seen below, in Japanese culture incest is so O.K. Watch some Hentai and be disturbed by what you see!!!
I don’t think that’s true, the US has incest porn too, it just a certain group of people, not the whole country
A long time ago, a friend of mine would play a game up to the point where he was at the last dungeon, last stage, and/or last boss; and then he would just quit. Just like that! When I asked why he would do this, he would just give me a stupid look and say, “Isn’t it obvious?!” I never did understand how someone could invest so much time and patience into something, never to see it through to the end.
I played this game for about 40 hours, to the point where I got to the area where the dead souls pass from the living world, (I forgot what that place was called), and 2 things happened: I just quit the game! Also, it finally became obvious to me!
The only reasons why I ended up playing this game was because of brand loyalty to Square Enix, and I played FF-10 to the very end and wanted to see how the sequel could hold up (at least gameplay wise: the story and characters were as interesting as a Carlos Mencia twitter). Sadly, I wasted money to play a game that had a storyline that was slighty better than the first X but still sucked, I was still playing the the same, boring side quests that had no bearing to the game’s plot, and the characters in this game, old or new, continued the trend of either being cliches or mindbogglingly annoying and/or stupid.
I never gave shit to my friend ever again about his game playing habits.
Also, if the focus of the game was supposed to be on just the girls and their changing outfits, then here is some sage advice: YOU DON’T LEAVE OUT THE HOTTEST GIRL IN THE GAME! You don’t! YOU DON’T!!! (I’m referring to Lulu, of course.)
Yeah, but that still seems like an odd thing for your friend to do, since you don’t say he hates the games he plays to near the end.
Why would you play a game to near the end if you hated it? That doesn’t make a whole ton of sense.
Well here’s the thing: both of us do play games that we have a great interest in. But we wound up doing the same thing that Spoony did with Persona 3: basically we found that we were trying to play a game that just wasn’t our cup of tea. Even though we played a lot of the game we found that it went so against our expectations that we don’t want to anger ourselves anymore by fighting one more disappointing villain or watching an ending that would feel worse than playing E.T.
If you feel this didn’t answer your question, be proud. It means every game you played up to this point (the games you want to play, that is), has never disappointed you to the point of this weird, but true, logic.
Yeah, I suppose I’m pretty easy enough to please game wise. I tend to beat most games I start.
There are some games I’ve quit on, the last couple I can think of are Escape from Bug island for the Wii, and Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes. Plus there are some games that are just so long, I get 100 or so hours in, then just get distracted by something else. Rogue Galaxy was one of those. I loved the game, but it is pretty long.
In Bug island, there’s a part in the game when you pretty much go back in time and have to do parts of the game over again. I just said screw it at that point. As for The 4 Heroes, I just got to the point where I didn’t care anymore. The game pretty much has no story, so I saw no reason to go on.
Strangely, this happened to me with both FFX and X-2 – but this had mostly to do with the sub-quests: I was trying to get all those uber weapons and beat the Dark Aeons and Penance in X, and trying to get to Trema in X-2. Once I realized that this would easily DOUBLE my playing time (which was already 100+ and 80+ hours, respectively) with hours upon hours of grinding and doing stupid mini games, I said “screw this” and stopped playing. It took me around a year or even more to finally beat the main plot of the games. Thankfully, my characters were already overpowered as hell (for the story bosses at least), so I just rushed through the last dungeons. Thank god for this spear I found for Khimari that offered me complete protection from random encounters…
But sometimes, I regret just stopping a game: I played around 30 hours of Dragon Quest VIII and then made a one-year-break. When I finally continued, I realized I was just right before the game got REALLY awesome. I couldn’t stop playing and basically finished the whole game in just a few weeks – including the optional super boss. Sure, it also involved grinding, but not nearly as much as in the FF games. Even the end boss was still rather challenging with my suped-up team, whereas Jecht and Shuyin died like flies against my team of demigods.
Lulu is 24 in FFX-2. By J-RPG standards she’s basically decrepit, as is anyone over 21. Plus, she has far, far too much dignity to go along with any of that Gullwing shit.
Ohhhh! So close to agreeing with you, but you have to remember that Lulu had SEX with Wakka, as well as carry AND birth his child. At least if they followed my idea, she could have spared her own dignity by looking hotter in the mascot outfit than the rest of the girls in any of their outfits. Also, SHE HAD SEX WITH WAKKA!
Sweet dreams, my dear!
Hooray for A Dance With Dragons’ much delayed release :D
….Sephiroth…What’s he up to?
Yuna is into her cousins, so Sephiroth came to bring the mother incest part that had been missing in Spoony’s reviews.
ummm Mommy issues?
The dude is seriously like Normon Baits.
I bet he IS Jenova or “thinks” he is.
All that hair… a wig.
” You’d know that Incest is socialy expectable and cousin mariage is even legal there.”
If you search about it, you can actually learn that cousin marriage is legal in almost every country, save the middle-east and about half of the US states.
This was probably one of the best bits of your FF reviews. I was laughing and snickering like an idiot throughout the whole thing. I realize the material really helped this time around, but kudos nonetheless.
Off-topic, but… does anyone realize that Captain America 2 is on Syfy right? As in, Captain America 2 with Reb fucking Brown?
You know, fanboys consider Rikku to be one of the hottest girls in gaming. I have no idea why. In the first game she is 15 and looks it. In the second game she is TERRIFYING. She looks demonic and nothing at all like she did in the first game. What is with all of the jerky movements she makes? What’s going on with her hair?
It’s simple. She dresses like a cosplaying prostitute and is “genki.”
She’s healthy/good? I think you may have used the wrong word there.
Actually, it means “energetic,” or “perky.” Sort of.
SPOONY IS READY FOR FIGHT NIGHT MONTH!!! HES ALREADY GOT THE FIST OF THE NORTH STAR POSTER OUT!!!
OMG! I Just got rickrolled!
Funny video overall. I loved the Dance with Dragons reference. However, the Pirates reference is a bit dated. They’re in second place right now, and have been floating between first and second for a few weeks now.
I think Square’s plan is to make each game even more of a colossal shitpile than the last one, just so you can say “You know, that X-2 game was a load of fucking crap, but at least it’s not XIII!”
Woo hoo, you did mention that the battle engine is pretty fun, I knew you would. It’s the only part of this vapid shit RPG that I ever enjoyed.
Man, I have to say, this particular review is probably one of the BEST ones he’s done in awhile. I’m not saying that his other ones suck or anything, but for some reason this video just seems to be hitting all the high notes. It’s clear, concise, and really damn funny. When the part with Lindsey came up I busted out laughing! It makes me wonder, though, what is he doing in her house? Did he visit her for a cross-over review or something? You’re not going to tell me he flew all the way to New York just for a 10 second bit!
Perhaps for another session of Spooning with Spoony?
Actually if that shot was a digital composite (hey it’s not unheard of) I’ll be very impressed.
Is it just me, or does one of Leblanc’s henchmen, Logos I believe was his name, sound like Oancitizen doing his Alan Rickman impersonation?
Anyway, great review and you are a brave man sir. I felt like beating my head with a hammer while playing this game (hell, that might have made it better actually). Seriously, what was Square Enix thinking? Granted FF X was horrible game, but at least it resembled a Final Fantasy game. I don’t even know what this crap is.
Like you’ve said before, the Final Fantasy series really just went downhill after 7 (and I find that one overrated, but still good), with the only except being FF XII. FF X-2 is a shining example that Square Enix has no idea what to do with Final Fantasy.
That is almost exactly what he sounded like in that little clip there.
Damn Spoon, great review. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this 2nd part really stands out for some reason.
Looking forward to part 3, also, looking forward to the upcoming Tekken reviews. More importantly though, the DOA movie review. Oh God…
Wow, part 2 was up a lot faster than expected. You must’ve worked on this review a head of time before posting the first part. Great idea, and glad to see that, because waiting for the other parts of the previous FF reviews was hard.
SPOONY I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP IF YOU SHOW THAT CLIP OF RIKKU SAYING “MONKEY” ONE MORE FUCKING TIME.
I want that John Carpenter Tshirt Noah is wearing!
this game has so many compelling things that is hard to believe square-enix had dared to make it.
if this was her first attempt of making a game, it’s easy to understand why the series crashed down after.
Wow, the bikinis are pretty unflattering. And Riku in a one-piece? Maybe they inverted the concept of the obligatory fanservice hot spring on purpose. Also, I was going to suggest you start doing a fanservice count but that would get old after about 50 in the first 10 minutes.
I believe the point of the bikinis are supposed to indicate them being nude. It’s a common gimmick used in gaming (for a more modern example, think Dragon Age Origins) and sometimes in anime. This way, the game can ‘imply’ the characters are doing something ‘racy’ in the nude, but not actually get flagged by the ratings boards for having nudity or porn inside the game.
Especially considering Rikku is still considered a minor in most countries this game would be released.
Yea that’s the ultimate fuck of it, isn’t it? It’s a whole game dedicated to fan-service…and it’s not even GOOD fan-service. Quakers reveal more than Rikku’s swimsuit in that scene!
When this game came out, I called it Final Fantasy Xtreme Beach Volleyball. But ya know what? I now realize that was totally unfair of me.
T&A:Xtreme Beach Volleyball is better than this game by far, hell maybe even better than FFX, in the story, fan service, graphics and dubbing.
Oh yes…I’m so~o going there…
Anyone want to try to debate me on this?
Come on, FF fanboys…Heaven or Hell! Duel 1! Let’s ROCK!
question: How’s Dance of Dragons? I’ve only just begun reading A Song of Ice and Fire.
Statement: WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THE MINDS OF SQUIRT ENIX WHEN THEY MADE THIS?!
Okay, at 10:10 either Yuna is wearing the Bing Corosby dress sphere, cause much like Bing, Yuna always forgot the words to the songs being sung OR it’s some J POP that has lyrics that don’t fit into the lyrics in English (or even Engrish) and they settled for this Astrud Gilberto (la laa laa laa) beat. Man, the more I see of this game the more I hate Final Fantasy and for what it’s become.
Lets hope that when FF 15 comes out, it’s so bad that on top of the 40 hours of tunnel running in 13 and the disaster of 14 that it will in fact be THE FINAL FANTASY. Harsh words coming from a former fan.
Alan Rickman IS Riff Raff IN Final Fantasy X-2!!!
Basically, it’s good; but it’s sadly obvious that the payoff was pushed back to the next book, as there are way too many cliffhangers.
Not very effective ones, in my opinion. I didn’t buy half of them. Like when they happened I immediately felt ‘no way, something else is up here’.
Hope Winds of Winter turns up before too long.
I may be wrong, but are you sure you really need to grind the dresses as much as you are?
I won’t lie, Final Fantasy V (Job System) was just as grindy when it came to jobs. But the thing is…You don’t even need to learn half the jobs to start spamming 9999s on the final boss. If you don’t like the grinding, just don’t grind more than the dresses you really want to use.
Also,if theres a Red Mage dress,does it also have a 999 ability that is OP beyond belief if you waste the time to grind it out?
I did have one more question…you said you can just stay in one battle and get a ton of points,so maybe i misunderstood. How exactly do you get ability points in this game? in FFV is was just a tacked on set of points like FFVI did with magicite.
And i’d like to end with a request. If you could could you talk more about the dress spheres? I’ve always been a fan of the Job System so i kind of want to know how well it fared in this game despite the grindy nature of it (Though,i’m sad it’s…dress spheres.)
Thanks for the good reviews btw, they’ve been fantastic and i can’t wait to see your new theme month.
I have to agree regarding the grinding comment. In the FFVIII Pt2 review, he stated the general reason he grinds draw-magic and similar systems is, in summary, because he refuses to advance without grabbing all the free powerups as they become available.
My general problem with this argument is, why then isn’t he just powerleveling his way to Max-Level (usually 100) at the start of every RPG? Effectively, grinding EXP is no different than grinding Draw-Magic, JP, or Dress Sphere points. So it falls into the same gap in logic.
– – – – –
Red Mage got no love in this game sadly, despite most other FFV jobs appearing to some degree. Even Blue Mage got a nod, somehow.
Regarding your question, Dress sphere ability points are, in essence, an homage to Final Fantasy 2 (for all 10 of us who remember that game!) and Final Fantasy V. You gain AP not only for defeating enemies, but also for using job-specific abilities (ala FF2). This is why Spoony’s depicted strategy of turtling behind reflect spells and grinding the magic/attack commands can work. Each time you use the magic/attack, you gain AP, and if you don’t kill the enemies, you can grind an ability’s entire required AP in one skirmish with minimal threat (ala FFV).
actually the most AP you can get per battle is 99 so not all abilities can be gotten in a single battle, also IIRC, Attack doesn’t give AP.
Umm, why are there glowing spots on your bed? Er – anyway, good video as usual. I thought it was hilarious how Leblanc’s sphere is a recording of a hammy evil-sounding guy teaching first-grade math… or something. Tell you what though, I’d rather watch pointless fan service than endless scenes of Tidus being a dumbass.
watch the whole video, felt like 4 min
that ending, i really want to say master Zehanort from birth by sleep, thats just the first thing that comes to mind.
Most people remember that this game was made at the height of the Charlie’s Angels reboot. If there was any doubt, the hot spring scene should take care of it. Also, it’s amusing to see that FF actually has a Hot Coffee knock-off scene, too.
The more I watch this series, the more I realize how this game killed Final Fantasy for me. It wasn’t when they turned the whole thing into a bad action RPG. It was this. The stupid, nonsensical plot, the excessive fanservice, and the flat-out disrespect they’re showing long-time fans of the series with this crap is perfectly plain in this installment. You’re right, Spoony. This is where Final Fantasy died. The tragedy is, I didn’t realize it at the time. When I played this game at 17 years of age, I just thought I was playing a boring snoozefest. I was wrong. I was trying to make friends with a corpse.
Still, hysterical video, Spoony. You’re in top form here. Keep it up!
PS: On a totally hypocritical note, I got Troy Baker to autograph my copy of FFXIII at a con I just went to. What can I say, it was the only thing I had that he was in. Hysterical guy. Him and Spike Spencer are both crazy funny.
My mom hear the video during the massage part… she thought I was watching porn. Your point has been proven.
Seeing a Dance with Dragons in this review gives me the glorious image of whoever made this crap suffering at Ramsay Bolton’s hand in the Dreadfort… happiness
Kinda sighed at the ending. I honestly don’t like the “plot” stuff you do, but hey it’s your show spoony. On the other hand that parkinsons joke was mad funny, prolly the best laugh I’ve gotten from your show in a while. Cheers.
Yea even when I briefly played the game, LeBlanc’s gyrating (if you can call it that) is what I remember most about the character. You just look at it and think “…What are you doing??”
This review just keeps getting better and better.
I didn’t expect the next part of the review to be released so soon.
That part when the girls ditch their disguises made me think of Quentin MacLeod from that stupid Highlander video game for the Jaguar.
ETERNAL POWER TO KORTAN
Sephiroth, or I’ll eat my hat.
Don’t you come anywhere near my hat…
I get the feeling that the character we saw was Seifer from Final Fantasy 8 come to get revenge on the death of Squall.
The sword didn’t look like a gunblade… but it’s better then many other theories I heared, like it’s black lantern spoony
Once again I come to this site, find a new video, and laugh my ass off watching it.
Man the final fantasy series is so dead, 10 (both of them) are absolutely horrible, thirteen is even worse and fourteen is the biggest failiure of a game I’ve ever seen, I’m glad spoony is on a roll tearing them apart.
As a sidenote I would just like to point out that in some countries (like Sweden and Japan), cousins as a pair is not seen as the norm, but not exactly frowned upon either (and there really isn’t any real risk genetically unless it goes on for several generations).
I’m not defending square here, just trying to spread some cultural knowledge (and I still think Brother is a creepy douche, for several reasons).
Probably this is going to sound a bit creepy for you, but I’ve never got why falling love with a person who shares the same gene is wrong. I know there is a risk when you make out with each others, but aside from that why is it wrong having feeling towards one of your family members? I’ve never had a brother or sister and I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life. I guess my lack of experience shows how I am clueless about these things.
outside of it being “the law” I have no idea, like you, personally I also don’t see anything wrong with it(I’m adopted as well, so even if I had a sister it would only be incest by name, but I’m going off on a tangent here), and here in the UK 2nd cousins are legal.
Here in Sweden the legal age is 15, but if for example two 14 year olds go to a youth-support center or a pharmacy and want to buy condoms no one is gonna go after them for it.
Most people here are realists and know that even if they personally don’t agree with it, this sort of thing does happen, and punishing the kids for falling in love with each other would be pretty pointless.
Same thing with marrige between cousins, it just happens and even if some people think it’s a bit wierd, very few think it’s taboo.
As for sibling couples, I only know of one and that was a case where both parents died when the kids where really young and they had a very difficult childhood.
I belive they described it as not being able to trust anyone but each other, and that later grew into an intimate relationship.
None of these questions are easy, but my personal opinion (on both this and other matters) is that people should be free to do what they want as long as they are not hurting anyone else doing it.
It’s not really something I can rationally explain, as someone who DOES have siblings and who HAS had a girlfriend. I mean yea there’s the social stigma of genetic defects, but it’s something more primal and instinctual that makes you go “oh god this is WRONG”. Best I can say is once you’ve had a girlfriend you’ll kind of understand better.
I think the “Oh my god this is wrong” aspect is actually related more to the social stigma than Primal Instinct. After all, if I wanted to screw a 16 year old I could and everything be fine(I’m only 27), yet in some states of America I’d get my arse arrested(even if it was consensual), and the people would think I’m sick and perverted, why? because they’ve been brought up to believe as much. Sure even here you’ll get people who don’t agree with the age gap (my dad is 9 years older than my mum) but we’d be doing nothing wrong in the eyes of the law.
Same with me with a 14 years old. Most countries would think how sick it is, but in my country, it is the age of consent. Also, about the Incest thing, looking up “Genetic sexual attraction” and “Westermarck effect” on wikipedia can give you insight why siblings can’t feel sexually attracted to each other, but cousins can very easily.
now that… sound like one awesome country… Germany?
I have a sister and really, I just have never had those feelings towards her. Not because she’s ugly or a b*tch or anything. It just isn’t there, I personally think because in the back of your head you know something about this isn’t right. And anyone who has had incestuous relations is probably living in a broken family structure. or really messed up in the head…
Google the Westermarck effect and praise god for it’s existence.
Does anyone else think that in the stillframe above, Rikku looks like the Annoying Orange?
Oh god..THAT’S what it reminded me of.
What’s amazing is just how briefly that frame is up on the video.
Whats the song that plays at 14:04, I’ve heard before on some other vids but may have heard it from a game as well.
Pretty sure you are kind of forced to play fours matches of Sphere Break to gain a costume…
I love your face when the NChick was playing her accordion especially with that dog in your lap.
I think everyone has parkinson in this game. Rikku was pretty much the same before the group decided Yuna had to dance…for some reason.
The mission about finding the uniforms was total bullshit. I mean why did those two chicks have an extra uniform?
I guess Yuna ending up with either Rikku or Brother is still better than Tidus.
Guy could have at least said “What does the series of numbers from 1 to 36 add to?”
The flip flaps were really horrible. I mean when Rikku said “monkey” you can’t even say that it is due to the Japanese language as the word “saru” also is a two syllable word like monkey.
Thanks for mentioning Nazis by the way. ;)
No! What is he doing to Berton?!
Well, anyway, I had actually forgotten that this game was as perverted as it is, and I didn’t understand the innuendo at the hot springs until you explained it. As ‘fan service’ goes, it’s not the most gratuitous stuff I have seen, but it’s indicative of why I stopped watching anime; the various productions became less about story and characters and more about seeing what underage girl can fit into what revealing costume.
This just kept getting more and more absurd with Square-Enix’s art design. You have these big dramatic stories in games like Final Fantasy XII and XIII, and they’re impossible to take seriously because everyone looks a Cirque du Soleil reject.
It’s hard to explain, especially to people who don’t have a sister, but I guess it’s like violating the childhood that you shared together.
Also the fact that in-breeding is a surefire way to have a kid with birth defects ;)
Oh God…. the memories… the horrible memories of all those terrible scenes. I’m getting violent urges involving Tobli-punting again!
Though I’m slightly disappointed that Spoony didn’t point out that the girls weren’t detected in Leblanc’s Chateau until *after* that IDIOT Brother started squawking at them over the radio and caused them to be overheard. Not only did this game’s story make him a creepy incestuous stalker… it also made him an utter moron. I was hoping for some humor out of that one…
As for the whole New Yevon thing, I figure that A) the whole “Yevon was Sin” thing didn’t get widely revealed and B) it really has nothing to do with worshiping Yevon himself, but rather maintaining the traditions of Spira. New Yevon is essentially a movement of conservatives who are clinging to what they’ve grown up doing because the idea of changing everything discomforts them. The Youth League (which is pretty obviously built out of the remnants of the Crusaders) are radicals who want to completely rebuild Spira socially and politically and oppose the continued power and influence wielded by the “New” Yevon Church.
This is really the bad part of FFX-2. The League/New Yevon split was *prime* story fodder. It provided so much fertile ground for a storyline about dealing with great change in society, about rebuilding your world after everything you know changes, having to decide what traditions are worth keeping and which should be jettisoned, and how to deal with people who believe differently from you and have their own visions for how the world should be. We could have had a story with Yuna not only struggling to find her lost love () but seeing that just because she defeated Sin doesn’t mean an Eternal Calm. The work of creating a Calm – of bringing peace to the world – never stops. Such a story needn’t even break the optimistic, “fun” atmosphere they were going for; Yuna is inherently a hopeful character, unlike certain other FF protagonists *Cough*Cloud*Cough*Squall*cough* and just staying true to her character can keep even a serious story about civil strife and conflict on the light side.
Instead we got… a game of meaningless sidequests and fan service that can’t even be called blatant, because blatant is more subtle than it was. I mean, things like the hot springs scene or the massage mini-game? They’re literally doing the slash-writers’ jobs for them!
Anyway, looking forward to the next videos. I’m really, *really* interested in seeing Spoony’s inevitablee rant about Chapter 4 of the game’s “story”.
You hit the nail on the head. The big tragedy (IMHO) of this sequel is that the seeds of a good story are here: two major factions which are both made up of unsympathetic douchebags, both of which have ideas which are good and bad, both of which are willing to burn Spira to the ground in their arrogant pursuit…and you have to pick one to side with. We could see Yuna have the classic heroic existential crisis, wherein she realizes that whomping SIN didn’t fix Spira (in fact, it seems to just be getting worse), that the real problem is the hearts of men. We could see her hash out her motivations now that she sees that the deeper causes of war and misery on her homeworld are not the kind of things that can be solved by stabbings and liberal use of Firagas. We could’ve had Yuna and crew realize that in fighting for either faction, all they’ve done is create more bloodshed, more war. They soon find Spira immersed in total war and find themselves in the exact same position the summoner Yevon found himself: making a desperate choice to save those they care about and learning that the greatest of heroes may eventually become the very monsters they once fought.
Instead the story comes half way (both sides are ultimately responsible for the mess, but little is made of this fact) and the whole situation is solved with more stabbings and pop singing (which I refer to as the “Macross Strategy” )
The story could have come full circle, deconstructed the heroic formula of the FF series, and even salvaged the story of FFX. It could have been so much more. Maybe that’s why I’m so very angry with this game. So much wasted potential.
OOOOOH. BURN, SNOB ^^
This might be slightly off-topic, but Spoony talks a lot about recent “Final Fantasy” games being confused as to who the main character is; I argue this goes as far back as “Final Fantasy VI”.
No really, think about it. Terra is SUPPOSED to be the main character, but she’s kind of boring and when you think about it, her decisions and emotions have very little bearing on the plot. She’s more of a MacGuffin (a device that moves the plot forward) than a protagonist. If we’re talking main characters, Locke and Celes are MUCH more interesting and at least have actual character arcs.
Final Fantasy VI is a bit unique, there is no intended “main character”. Terra is the first character we play, yeah, and plays an important role, but FFVI had a fully ensemble cast of characters that were followed.
I think you have a point. I didn’t mean this made the game BAD, but a lot of the plot seemed to put emphasis on Terra even though she was one of the most passive characters. Actually it’s FF6’s heavy emphasis on playing an ensemble that made me like it so much. If you didn’t like one character, you could easily swap it out for one that you DID like. Like me, I found Locke, Celes, and Cyan WAY more interesting than Terra, so I relished the chance to play them.
Aside from the fact that the stories got WAY more linear after FF7 and really tightened the grip on what characters you could or couldn’t play, Square just seemed to turn all their characters into shrill, annoying cyphers. Really, they have no heart. Cyan and Celes had heart. Even Cloud and Aeris had heart. Characters like Tidus and Rikku don’t.
I do agree that the majority of the characters in modern FFs don’t have the intricacies and inspiring journeys that the likes of Cecil, Locke, Celes, Cloud and Vivi had. Now we just seem to have a checklist of tired stereotypes who never break out of the mold, and only serve to show off Nomura’s over-extravagant designs, look awesome in cutscenes, or provide fanservice for pervs (see FFXIII; Vanille is worse than anything in FFX-2. You thought giving Leblanc an orgasm in a mingame was bad? Vanille orgasms in virtually every cutscene!) The last character I can truly say I cared about was Auron.
You CAN tell Tetsuya Nomura is pretty much drunk with power. You know all those belts on the front of Lulu’s dress in “Final Fantasy X”? He designed them very precisely to give the programmers a rendering challenge to keep them consistent throughout the entire game. So he went out of his way to create an overly complicated design trait that in the end was a pain in the ass to make and was COMPLETELY POINTLESS. And even then, it doesn’t help Lulu break out of the mold of the dry-humored goth chick. And she was one of the BETTER characters in FFX along with Auron, who himself is mostly just a lone wolf stereotype.
Nomura’s whole design philosophy comes down to “Try THIS, assholes!”
I’ve technically read some interesting information that implies Terra was “very much” supposed to be the main character,but some conflicts (such as one of the producers ‘really’ liking Celes) Made some changes to the game. I wouldn’t argue they were bad scenes though. Some have even said how Celes and Terra are almost like two halves of the same character.
For example…has anyone ever noticed how awkward Celes’s scene on the floating continent is? She’s pushed into the group (which requires Terra and Shadow,not Celes),then suddenly has her loyalties questioned again, even though she already proved her loyalties the first time they were questioned (in the magicite laboratory)!
And then she starts talking about how power corrupts…but what did that have to do with her? Sure,she had magicite infused with her, but it was Terra who everyone was effectively seeking for, who was wondering from the beginning “Why does everyone want my power?” Terra would also be more easily swayed given the situation since she’s still a confused girl who has very few memories of her past. The question has never been placed upon her before by Gesthan or Kefka.
If Terra had the scene,it probably would’ve made more sense, because at that point she would’ve come to the conclusion that her power is effectively evil. It would also explain why she lost the will to fight, because she didn’t want to fight with the power she was given (and therefore,discovers real power later on and thus can fight again :) )
A bit contrived…but i think the floating continent scene was contrived as well. It’s a lot of confusing and interesting stuff to think about i think.
In the end though,it probably helped better support the ensemble cast, and fleshed out Celes more as a character,so it’s still a fantastic story :)
I think that was by design though, like it’s a motley crew fighting the empire as a whole, but still each in their own way.
FF10 and 12 though kept trying to tell you “This guy is the protagonist” despite the fact the storytelling suggested otherwise.
In FF12’s case that was because Basche was meant to be the protagonist but didn’t test well with japanese audiences, so they changed him to Vaan at the last minute…and it shows.
I wouldn’t really say Terra is a boring character…and i can’t imagine how Celes is a more interesting character. Her entire arc is effectively 5 miniutes long and says very little about her character other than she’s scared of her life at the moment.
Locke had a decent arc,but it had very little to do with the central plot,Locke never really learns anything,or has any more reason to battle kefka than anyone else. It was more a redemption chapter for him.
Also,didn’t Terra have at least 3 character arcs? She had the first third of the game (until you lose her),then her communications with espers,and finishing off with her post-apocalypse plot (which i think could’ve been better with some reworking of some scenes…but it did fit her character i think)
They’re all interesting characters,i’m just wondering what you think is all :)
Great work with this review so far. The rickroll part was just awesome.
OMG! You’re reading the newest A Song of Ice and Fire!!! Is it any good?
Hey buddy, you calm down. The Pirates’ve got a winning season going for once in the past 20 years!
White specs on the bed sheets?
Oh Spoony, that’s NASTY, man! You could at least have turned it over!
Or…maybe he did…And the other side is…..UGH DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
the fact that you even noticed is very enlightening to your priority’s
Its okay for cousins to marry in Japan…Not saying I agree with it, just saying thats what happens
This game made me want to die when I got to this part, it was just fan service and for me the time that I played, I was only a beginner of the Final Fantasy series and had only played 12 so I thought that Final Fantasy X-2 was it’s own game.. (OH was it stupid) I was so confused to even who anyone was, it was hell…
I’m happy that I wasn’t playing the best final fantasy games before this one, my heart wasn’t shattered to see how they mutilated the series..
And talking about fanservice, the entire time while watching this video, who else was looking at the “Shawna Demonstrates” ad, especially the one where her ass is hanging right out at you.
I think that you have described this whole game in one shot, Shawna.
(God that is so photoshopped, you can even see where they used the burn tool) D:
i LOLed SO hard at 12:18 when he does the “i want her dead” sketch xD
It’s strange in these comments that FF IX is never really mentioned, when I think that was the best of the series, since it hit 3D. I love it to bits.
*SLAM!!!* Sorry… I had to hit my head against my keyboard at least once before I could survive the remainder of anything X-2 has provided as entertainment for us thus far… Particularly when the Jar-Jar-ripoff Mantis said “Investitagating” …
- “I’ve got to let off some steam!”
– “What did you have in mind…?”
Combined with dialogue like this AND the scenes in both the hot spring and massage room, every event is this game is like the set-up for a porno.
a rick roll…….. FUCK damn you damn you Spoony and why the hell am i laughing you got lucky
hahahaha! I love your reviews of the FF series SO MUCH! Personally I kind of enjoy FFX and X-2 because they do sort of suck, in the same way that I like hollyoakes or dancing to 90’s club music :3
excted for part 3 <3<3<3
You know, I was just making something to eat and as my mind wandered, as it usually does when I’m cooking, I just happened to think of this video again.
Then a scary thought came to mind…
What if that’s Chuckles the Fucking Jester at the end?
I got the feeling he was going to bring Chuckles back as a Heath Ledger Joker type character after he messed up his lips. Maybe he forgot.
Whatever it is, I sure hope it’s something more creative than a Heath Ledger pseudo-joker.
We don’t need Chuckles coming back as some kind of Beetlejuice that looks like his head was dunked in the toilet.
Unless he does the whole backwards limbo-walking Deadly Premonition monsters bit. Only time will tell (wooooo!)
This game is so fucking sexist and stupid it makes ‘Custer’s Revenge’ look like ‘MYST’.
Custer’s Revenge is an awesome game!OH yeah…that indian is getting it goooood!
As a fan of both accordion music and the Nostalgia Chick, that particular segway made me incredibly happy. Well, the whole review made me happy. I like your scenery chewing, mixed with genuine analysis.
I love the accordion and polka music too, my first time experiencing the Nostalgia Chick and her lovely accordion was when she and Nostalgia Critic reviewed Ferngully..good times.
Am I the only one noticing Yuna has a blue and a green eye? It is so stupid. How can they beat X in terms of stupidity? Unless it is as stupid as 8. It is stupid nonetheless. Glad I never played it. It is a disgusting game.
She had different colored eyes in X as well. One’s supposed to be inherited from her Al-Bhed (mother’s) side, apparently.
you just noticed the eyes? oh try FF8 then you might like it
No I noticed them in X about what? Six years ago maybe. However, my TV then was at the end of its usefulness and the colors distorted (meaning it wasn’t blue and green). What I meant by that is why in a fictional character they induce that? If the Albeit (no matter how you write it) have spiral patterned eyes, why does she have two different colors? Now, again, I never played this game so if it was explained I wouldn’t know. Final Fantasy 8 is stupid. I tried it right after I was hooked by 7. One thing to notice is that I didn’t check for any hints for 8 and so, just like Spoony, I ended up drawing magic. I gave up after 10 hours of game play. The plot makes no sense either. I might not hate FF8 as much as Spoony but I don’t like it either. In fact, I finished X once but never VIII.
What’s wrong with having two different colored eyes? That’s a real thing. That can happen.
Oh hey, Jenny provided a helpful link.
God I realize now I had pretty much blocked this game out of my memory. But now those memories of how dull an pointless much of the game is are flooding back. I thought FFXII’s story was a boring with too much filler grinding. But looking back I must have just had more patience if I was able to stick with X-2 to the end. If I remember correctly it does get slightly more interesting near the end finally.
As for the mystery man at the end my first impression is it kind of seems like Sephiroth’s outfit. But I have no idea how he would fit in here. An actually I think he wears long black boots so maybe not him.
I think the large guy with the shied was supposed to be a woman judging from the size of the breasts on him/her, cause they look too big to be Moobs for a person of that weight.
Judge Dredd battle robot??? God-damn that film! It’s Hammerstein from the ABC Warriors.
One thing I will say about the 2 factions and the whole machina business, New Yevon does want to spread machina they just want to do it at a controlled rate you know no new machina for 6 six months after the previous release and such, where as the youth league just kind of wants to release it all at once.
Oh and the thing with the cousin love sub plot, as it was said earlier in Japan it is okay to marry your cousin, but really Spoony this is not the worst that has happened in Japan, remember the guy who married his Nintendo DS due to a date sim game and such? Yeah compared to that this is pretty tame.
Anyway can’t wait for part 3 and I hope to see you at ConBravo and as always Keep up the Good Work
“Squre Enix, just did not give a SHIT!!”………….THE NERVE!!!
Hahaha, i love this!!
Is it just me, or does the opening card before you play the video resemble a Cornette face?
I think even the characters are saying “FUCK THIS COMPANY!”
I’m convinced Japan is uncapable of making furries either way to serious, way to cutsie, or make no fucking sense. JUST TREAT THEM LIKE A CHARACTER DAMNIT!
Actually I thought that was one area where they had a decent track record. Red XIII, Freya, Kimahri, and Fran all were half decent characters. Often acting less stupid an annoying than some of the Humans in the group. Also if you count outside FF there was of course the awesome Frog from Chrono Trigger.
Fucking hilarious, as usual!
Ok, I’m gonna say a few things, here.
I still fuckin’ hate those storyline things you or anyone else does. However… thank you for putting them after the credits. I have nothing to complain about if they don’t interfere with the review in any way. I’m thoroughly enjoying this series without having to skip around the bullshit. You get plus five million internets for being courteous and still doing what you like to do.
Now if they only started doing that with cameos… no fuck it, scrap every cameo. I can’t send these videos to people without explaining who “that other guy” was.
I for one enjoyed Spoony’s wide eyed terror at Nostalgia Chick’s organ recital.
Yeah, that was actually kind of funny. I just hate the shoehorned drama and cinematics. I don’t mind the cameos because I see Spoony in the TGWTG circle-jerk. It was much nicer when he was solo, but alas, it’s not to be. As long as they’re used for very brief jokes or in-humor, I won’t say anything. Spoony’s been good at that, so far. No complaints in that department.
Yeah, I’ve definitely had it with all these cameos.
Oh nooo, you have to EXPLAIN who a person is to a friend. My god that must be horrible! Grow up, you. It’s for the fans of the other reviewers, like me and plenty of others. Seriously, do you guys have to complain about everything? You just can’t be pleased, can you?
You’re just wasting your time making a complaint about hundreds of people that no one but me will ever see. At least plaster your ball-licking on a recent comment.
You may not believe it, but I’ve actually seen worse lip syncing then Yuna’s Singing. Watch the cutscene of the song of rebirth in The Klonoa wiimake if you dont believe me.
My dad plays the accordion. My entire family feels your pain.
my lady friend has told me that girls do in fact compare each other’s bodies. It’s the same thing as girls being able to sleep together, they just do it, and don’t think anything of it.
I can’t believe you haven’t gotten a dozen people saying this, but: Great Big Lebowski quote!
lets see, snark levels up at maximum, check
funny jokes and references, check
well planned buildup to awesome ending in the last 10-2 video, double check
Thank you spoony (clap clap clapclapclap)
Thank you spoony (clap clap clapclapclap)
my son has a green eye and a blue one, am I half Albaid?
Probably – I’d avoid Spoony if you saw him on the street in that case, lest you cause Acute Final Fantasy X Rage (AFFXR – it’s a real condition; I don’t suffer it myself as I liked FFX, but be careful out there)
Yupp, that game really is a bottomless hole which it constantly is falling deeper into shitness.
But I gotta say, if you plan on leveling up the dress sphere I got a way that is MUCH easier.
There is one thing you need, one thing you really want and one thing that’s good to have.
1: a grid that replaces attack for mug
2: AP egg
3: Auto haste
Now what this does is that you get mug, for all dress spheres, all of them, black mage white mage songstress So every class can now whack at the enemy! What good those this? Every mug counts as an ability use. Each attack gives AP, with the AP egg you get x3, just do the math and you will see that all classes will be maxed out in half a days work.
No, Spoony. No we don’t, we don’t compare bust size in the shower. I have never experienced that it has happened at least.
The cameo by Lindsay was friggin’ awesome.
Spoony relationships between cousins are only taboo in certian countries Japan isn’t one of them its just looked down upon but most people don’t care
I LOVED this game. Dresspheres were annoying, but I found a couple of parts that were close to save spheres, and gave me decent experience for my troubles. I never worked out the elementals trick and boy do I feel silly for that. I never bothered levelling up *all* my dresspheres – I picked one white mage and stuck with her, one Black Mage and stuck with her, etc. Each girl only ended up with two or three fully levelled dresspheres each. Made life a lot simpler.
I really hope that was sephiroth at the end :D
You really worked for that Big Lebowski quote, didn’t you Spoony?
Wow they really didn’t even attempt to sync the lip movements. Hell I doubt that saying “Monkey!” and “The nerve!” even in Japanese requires that much lip flapping. Even for the time that is just lazy.
Oh and that LeBlanc spasm parody made me laugh so hard I cried XD
god damn spoons you had me on the floor, laughing so hard when you did THE NERVE Perfect
Hah. If you look at the video before pushing play, Rikku is having such a derp moment.
“How much lip flapping should I have with a glassy face while saying “MONKEY!” today?!?!”
They could have used that face for an evil doppelganger enemy.
I laugh so hard when i watch this review. Its even better than your review of FF X. So Spoony i know you like to do reviews on sh!t you hate but what about Final Fantasy Tactics or Tactics Ogre? I remember you saying that you were blown away by the balls some announcer at E3 had when he said his game had stratagy, like final fantasy tactics.
Oooh! *giddy* So happy every time I come by and see there’s a new game review, espescially when it’s Final Fantasy related ^_^
Great review as always and an enjoyable watch! Thanks! Was expecting a joke about the Heady Perfume’s description found in that area though.
I may not have final fantasy but your reviews never fail to make me smile like the idiots in this game, kudos spoony.
That lake scene…
Spoony, I think it’s a Japanese thing to compare sizes in a public bath or hotspring. I remember watching a scene in ‘Busou Renkin’ when the guys are comparing themselves and reacting in shock to the new guy’s… yeah. The same thing happened to the girls, except they were comparing their busts.
Comparing sizes may be an normal thing in Japanese culture in general. I think I’ve seen it in several anime.
My god Spoony! You made the most accurate “puppy on a vet’s table about to get a thermometer shoved up its ass” impression ever during the NChick cameo!
What happened to these reviews Spoony? I loved how shitty and awesome the old reviews were; why did you go all “high budget” and shitty with your reviews? Go watch the final fantasy 8 review. and everyone who thinks this X-2 review is funny, i dare you to tell me that it is in any way worse than this near garbage level of video production…..seriously. First of all, you are reviewing a game that is in fact the only good game in the final fantasy series since FF9. Yes i love Final Fantasy 9, it is infact one of my favorite RPGs of all-time. You really used to be the best Spoony, I loved your MST3k esqe style, but damn it gets harder every day…….
I hope you’re kidding about this game being one of the only good games in the series. I don’t even like FF at all, and I know that’s bullshit. Sounds like you’re butthurt.
Well I suggest you re-read my comment, because nowhere in it do I say that it is “one of the best in the series.” If you’re referring to the part in which i say it is “the only good game in the final fantasy series since FF9,” then no, I’m not kidding. One of Final Fantasy X-2’s downfall is that it is set in the god awful FFX universe. And I will admit some parts of the game are kinda stupid, but if you set a side your machismo mind set you can actually have some fun with it. And if I’m “butthurt” its only because you are so incompetent.
Okay, I could have sworn it said “along with” FF 9. Not that it really matters. Being the best game since another awful game doesn’t actually make it good, so the “first of all, you are reviewing…” crap doesn’t really mean much.
Even without the embarrasing parts, it’s very likes tha the game sucks. After all, it’s a modern Square Enix game, and even Final Fantasy fanboys know that the company has reached the shitter.
Agreed. Sqeenix can rot in hell. haha
Good point, Ben. Not only IS X-2 the best FF since FF9, but the fact that Spoony won’t even admit that 9 is good, means that he’s fully become enveloped by the Dark Side, or the Angry Joe-niverse, as I call it. He even admitted he likes X-2 at the beginning, before he started screaming and nit-picking.
Fun Fact: Watch all the parts of his ff8 review, and you too can watch spoony change from a funny guy making technically inferior but hilarious vids into a neckbeard who thinks cosplay, bluescreen and crossovers with fucking LINKARA are comedy gold. Sorry, spoony, but Suburban Knights was the last nail in the coffin. We’ll always have Phantasmagoria 2.
Cue “omg, ur jelous, i liek when hez arngry dur hurr.” also, thanks for the coming banhammer, spoony, and thanks for doing a wrestling update twice a year.
You’re not even trying…
Riiiight, so because “Spoony won’t admit FFIX and FFX-2″ are good means that he’s somehow a terrible reviewer. Sounds like more asshurt keyboard crusading from the FF fanatic brigade. I knew you guys were precious, but defending X-2….really? Even the game that FFX fans dismissed as a fucking abomination has these wailing fanboys attached to it? It’s almost cute, this slavish obsession.
And STFU about FFIX. Someone who’s barely played a game can hardly be expected to express an indepth opinion of it’s quality, especially if they are a legit reviewer. I played it though, and thought it was shit. Ohnoes. FFXII kicks the shit out of anything FF related after VII.
How… There’s a poster of the live action Fist of the North Star movie on your wall.
Why do you have these thing?!
I’m fairly certain it’s a Japan thing. In Japan romance between first cousins are acceptable. And the comparing bust sizes thing happens a lot in anime, but I’ve never had that happen here except at drunken parties where people are sad about their A-Cups.
Barkeep: You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. I’m dutch isn’t that veird.
Oh Poopie is a swear? REALLY?!
so what the hell would the MST3K guys say then instead of that for their blooper reels if they were in that universe?
and what the hell would they do to the nolstagia critc for one of his swearing rants, or more the point what would he do to them, make their heads explode from it?
Loved the review, except for one thing. At the date of posting (July 21, 2011) the Pittsburgh Pirates were 51-45 (.531) and a half a game back in the NL Central. I think those henchmen lose A LOT more than the Pirates are this season. (Pick on the Orioles, they always suck)
I simply can’t believe they released this game after all the class that came before it… what the hell happened.
That said the Japanese are indeed beautifully pervy. The lip flap issue is probably just due to the dub, which is clearly not taken very seriously (can you blame them…) and isn’t synced up at all. A company that cared would reanimate the lip flaps based on the new dialogue.
Anyone else here start rocking when the Slipknot part came on? :)
I did! It was like a beautiful blast from the past.. with head-banging…
HAHAHA, man, can’t wait til Part 3. XD
I hate this game…
in quote of the nostalgia critic: this jumping the shark, coming back shooting it in the balls, raping it, eating it’s flesh, consuming it soul, mounting it’s head on the wall and then doing the same thing to twelve more fucking sharks just be safe!!
Watching this again I still can’t believe he missed out Yuna’s dream sequence after she flounces out of her “concert”. Tidus and Yuna get MASSACRED in a hail of bullets. The true perfect ending.
I love the look of utter fear during the NostalgiaChick’s recital. I very rarely do I actually laugh out loud but that gets me every time.
“We’re forgetting who we are. We’re Sphere Hunters! The Gullwings!”
Yuna, YOU SAVED THE WORD! Remember last game, when you KILLED GOD? Sphere Hunting is just your *retirement* plan.
It amazes me just how poorly thought out this game’s story and setting are, to the point where the main characters have completely forgotten what they did in the last game.
To be fair she didn’t kill a god. She killed a human who turned into a mutant deer tick in order to ride a living battle armor only to lose his mind as a result.
Putting it into perspective…yeah, I’d probably start doubting myself as an adventure if THAT was the height of my prowess.
It’s like being known as the guy who saved Camelot….from a Serial Nipple Twister.
Yevon was supposedly the most powerful summoner in Spira before he became a mutant deer tick. So it is more like killing the world’s greatest has-been.
Someone has said it before, but I might as well repeat it because I too am puzzled…
The Slipknot joke – what am I missing here?
It’s kind off funny now because Square Enix is going to do a Final Fantasy XIII-2.
And by funny I assume you mean tragic.
Or insane; they do say that insanity is doing the same thing over and expected different results
I hate the voice acting in this game. The chick who played Paine (Gwendoline Yeo) was okay but the other two female leads sucked the pimple juice off of my ass cheeks. Tara Strong was not only the worst voice for Rikku but she was also the worst voice for Batgirl as well. And I don’t know who Hedy Burress is, but she wasn’t good enough to turn Square’s chicken shit writing into chicken soup
Which is weird, because Tara Strong was a good voice actress for Twilight Sparkle.
My sis bought this a while back. It ended up being scratched, and we couldn’t play past the part with the first sphere you go after. We gave it to a friend to buffer it for us, and haven’t gotten it back yet….I’m glad. If it hadn’t been scratched, I’m pretty sure my little sis would be forcing me to suffer through it instead of XIII…which was (thank god) slightly better than this.
I played the game and at act 3 I just have to take 1,2 or 3 steps and bam random encounter and it staid like this for the rest of the game :))
Funny how this review ends at the part, where i got sick of playing this piece of *poopie* many years ago and haven’t touched it since. Still regret to this day, that I’ve bought it on the 1st day of it release:(
In japan cousins actually isn’t considered incest. Which is very disgusting to me (I’m american) but what ever makes your vessel boyant.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Japan is fucking weird.
They just haven’t found out that cousins having sex makes funny looking babies. Wait, are everyone cousins to each other in Japan then?
I know I’m probably asking to be flamed and attacked, but am I the only one who finds the girls attractive?
nope, they’re pretty hot. you are not alone.
*makes dreamy eyes.*
I was surprised to learn that Americans consider cousin romance/marriage a taboo, I did some research and turns out only in China and and “some” states in America prohibited it, I know Japan is weird but not in this case.
can’t wait for part 3!
Well, you press the sphere and something awesome happens! Sphere — awesome!
Okay this may be because I’m a nerd, but yes Final Fantasy X-2 and VII are supposed to be connected. It’s in the wikipedia article (for all the authenticity that gives it) that both the director (Kitase) and scenario writer (nojime) dropped hints about Shinra sucking life energy or mako from Spira, then the spheres would probably be materia, and Shinra would be an evil energy dictator.
So yeah Final Fantasy X and X-2 are actively trying to destroy the last ‘good’ game in the franchise, that has managed to stay fairly seperate and somewhat creative in all its different locations and social ‘problems’
I can no longer live in this world…
Spoony….I am sorry. http://www.finalfantasy.net/x/final-fantasy-remake-ps3-vita/#comments
Oh Spoony….I could only think of of you when I saw this. I am so so sorry. DX I think we need Insano to give the idiots who thought of this idea a nice ‘visit':
“As for games that Square Enix really is making, a revamp of Final Fantasy X is headed to the PlayStation 3 and Vita, presumably with HD visual quality and other minor enhancements. Yes, that’s Final Fantasy X, and not Final Fantasy VII, a.k.a. The Final Fantasy That Fans Want Remade.”
Oh! Rick rolled by the Spoony One. Nice.
lol look at 16:01 for few seconds there hypello or whatever the blue things are behind yuna and riku dancing or something watching them bath. Check it out im surprised it wasnt called out before by spoony.
For me the funniest bit will always be the dramatic zoom-in on Spoony’s face with that wide-eyed stare as he (intentionally) poorly lip-syncs to “THA NEEEEEEEEERVE!”
Okay. Totally dying laughing.
And this is a game I give a LOT of slack for because it’s not trying to be deep. But that’s my choice, you can rip on it all ya want. (And it IS trying to be fun, and you can rip THAT, at least its failure to do so, all you want with my blessing!)
One thing though: The lip flapping. How many people have mentioned this already, I don’t know, but I’m just making sure you’ve heard, that Square Enix didn’t localize animations for this or the previous game. In FFX, that caused a lot of your heartburn, because the actors were trying to match the lip movements _themselves_ on the screen. (The ‘make yourself laugh’ scene has been blamed strongly on this, among other things.)
Whereas here, they just did translation and dubbing. I have to say, it’s an improvement. But really, I swear that BioWare, Bethesda, Obsidian, all sync Japanese dialogue — along with German, French, POLISH… Gaelic if they make it… Esperanto if they were crazy enough… even probably Klingon. Square Enix not taking the time makes me think less of them, somehow.
i think the lip flap is because it was orignally japanese and they were to lazy to make it match with the english voices
Every FF since 7 has been total shit. End of story. They started the downward spiral with the pure nonsense in 8, dug a nice hole with 9, then finally buried the series with 10 and “10 2″. You were right, this was rock bottom. What came after wasn’t worst… because it couldn’t get any worse. But it’s dead. There’s no saving it as long as Square Enix has their name on it.
What would follow, as if those weren’t bad enough, would be 2 of the worst MMOs to ever be made, fairing even worse than Warhammer Online in lifespan and suckage. To top it off, Angry Joe had 2 FF games on his “worst of 2010 list”, and he knows video games better than anyone. Search for his video list and see for yourself. Keep in mind games have to be REALLY bad to even be considered for a shot on there.
I wonder out of the total people who bash FFIX, how many of them have actually played it.
FFIX was one of my personally favorite entries for the series, beating all the others but V and VI… It referenced many of the ff games of old, had a simplistic and fun leveling system, didn’t focus on an emo kid that made you wish they’d commit suicide, and had an intriguing story. Other than the chibi/furry look and the bizarre out of nowhere “final” final boss that was fate itself… The game was amazing!
You forgot the /ignorance.
The only upset from these shitty games is that they gave way to hilarious game reviewer videos. These videos were sure worth all the millions of dollars square threw down the toilet, don’t you agree? No? Well it’s the only thing the worthwhile things the games produced regardless. I’m surprised EA hasn’t bought out that company yet. They buy up bad/failing companies like a pig does with pigchow. But in all honesty the game couldn’t be this bad even if that EA logo of death slapped on it. In all reality it’s bound to be slightly better than this…
Awesome as always! Hope ‘Part 3′ is still coming at some point!
Need part 3 lol
Thank goodness you saved my time from playing FF8, 10 and X-2 because I wanted to give them a try after I´ve played FF7 which I like and seeing those games got such good scores. I am a Shin Megami Tensei fan, never really wanted to get into FF franchise and I guess it will stay that way forever :D I hope part 3 will be online soon.. I wonder what do you think about FFXIII, do you plan any new reviews?
Actually, no, despite what Spoony says about 8, *IT’S STILL WORTH PLAYING*. No, really. There wasn’t a massive online debate between which is better FFVII/FFVIII for fucking DECADES for *NOTHING*, you know?
Despite what Spoony said, he was really just taking off the Nostalgia Googles and pointing out what a horrible story the story in FFVIII was, which was at the time being held up in high regard along with FFVII and such, and just pointing out that it REALLY WAS dumb. NOT saying that it was a bad game.
FFVIII is still *WELL* worth the playthrough, dude…though none of those other games you listed fuckin’ are! lol
Please Spoony, finish part 3!
I know you are an extremely busy man, but I, and the rest of your fans, need closure!
A Dance With Dragons! I just finished that book. Really I’m more interested in hearing what you thought about that.
But goddamn Final Fantasy. I could never get into these games past 7. I suspect if I hadn’t been an extremely bored and introverted kid around when 7 came out I wouldn’t have even liked that, but of course I had to get a golden chocobo and that knights of the round spell and all that, because I had the time and was an obsessive-compulsive. These days the only RPGs (only games really) I play anymore are the Shin Megami Tensei series and Nippon Ichi games, because they’re well worth the time spent.
lol omg Yes Dullwings! thats right! priceless. Spoony your so awesome
The fact that I’m actually playing the game while listening to you rant only amuses me more. XD
Let me start off by saying one thing. I hate this game, I hate it good. It’s one of the most retarded plots ever conceived in gaming history, however I feel like making a small case for a couple things in it.
The dress spheres were a nice throw back to the old job systems of the original series. The problem is that while that might have been what they were going for, it ended up being as hallow and as meaningless towards the actual characters and their unique aspects as the materia system from VII and the Final-Fantasy-for-dummies Junction system from VIII.
As far as the monsters being the same as X, that does actually make sense do to the fact that it’s the same world as the previous game, and only a short time later. HOWEVER, the unforgivable aspect of these monsters is mainly the machina enemies. With Yevon being removed from society, alone with the taboo against machina being removed, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever that the Al-Behd (or any other society for that matter) would not have been able to upgrade these broken and barely functional machines. It also makes no sense that they would not be able to create their own variations of these machines, and make their own new designs.
Now for the culture.
You are correct in saying the total lack of care about Yevon being a false religon. You haven’t seemed to touch on the extreme racism against the Al-Behd people, and the sudden total lack of any kind of repercussions for 1000 years of racism against a certain race, and they seem to just not give a shit now. By all means, the Al-Behd seem to have the monopoly on business in the world at the moment in this story, which is just utterly confusing to me.
Finally, I have a suggestion for you. Something you didn’t do for VIII or X. As I am sure you know, each Final Fantasy has what is known as the “super-boss”, a boss that is a cut above the rest, and is exceptionally difficult to defeat. VIII had Omega Weapon, and X had Nemesis (Which was Omega Weapon with a pallet switch, lame). This game has Trema, and he is fucking PATHETIC. His stats are all 255, yet when I fought him, he didn’t manage to do more than 1000 damage to me with any given attack. Keep in mind I had absolutely no defense bonuses of any kind (I am the type of guy who prefers high strength stats) and he still did nothing. I am not saying to go through the trouble of getting to him, because it is extremely tedious to go through the Via Infinito, but you could steal the footage from somewhere to comment on it. It is a defining moment in the massive decline of Square-Enix. The don’t even give a shit about the super bosses anymore.
The last part is the point I mainly wanted to make to you. Not caring about the super-bosses is unforgivable to me. VII had Emerald and Ruby weapons, who were somewhat difficult, VIII had Omega Weapon, which required the tedious card game to even hope to beat, IX had Ozma, which wasn’t very hard I will admit, and X had Nemesis which I never got to, because it was too much work to. They know how people are. Strap Final Fantasy onto the title of your shitty game, and people WILL buy it *cough cough Final Fantasy XII XIII XIV cough cough**.
Anyway yeah, little rant for ya oh great Spoony One. Maybe you will bring some of this up, maybe not. Either way, I brought it up, so it’s out there lol.
Hope you’re feeling better! We all miss your reviews man!
That chick in the weird purple corset or whatever it is, didn’t she lead the Chocobo charge against Sin in FFX and got pulverized?
And now, a prayer in the name of our Lord Spoony, ahem, dearest Spoony, thy wisdom and graciousness hath affected thine followers in many ways. We hath learnest to laugh once more and not to tolerate things that which pisseth us off, in Spoony’s name Amen
Can’t wait for part 3! Hope you do reviews on the rest of the series eventually! Squares work just keeps declining… Each game of the series gets more and more lousy.
I’m my opinion, 10 was the last title of any merit and it was even low on that. X-2, XI, XII, XIII, XIV all were crap. And now they’re coming out with a XIII-2! XIII-2!!! Didn’t they learn their lesson from X-2?!?! But not only is there a XIII-2 coming out, but XIII versus too! Since when did the Final Fantasy series become so big with sequels (X-2, XIII-2, XIII Versus, Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, IV-2), mmos(XI and XIV), and fighters(Dissidia and Dissidia 2)? Enix, that’s when… Their doing the same thing with Kingdom Hearts, making countless spinoffs and side stories with practically no merit just to prolong the series and not give the fans an ending.
Personally, I think the merger of Square Enix marked the end of good and decent Final Fantasy titles, now they throw the title on any RPG they make just so fans will buy it. XIII can hardly be called an RPG it’s so linear… And for those that say it becomes open later on, your lying to yourselves… Giving you an open area (practically at the end of the game!) only the size of a city from previous titles does not make it open world, it’s still a linear ass game with a leveling system worse than X’s and monotonous unnecessary weapon leveling system worse than X-2’s Dress sphere leveling! Hell, even the sidequests (or technically “sidequest” as they are all essentially one big sidequest) are linear and can hardly be refered to as sidequests at all (as your only choices are to either do them or grind in the same spot for hours to become strong enough to progress…)
It truly has been a sad progression into mediocrity for the Final Fantasy series… :(
dude ff14 isnt out yet.
yes it is my friend ;) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_XIV
yeah, youre right (face palm) its no wonder i dont play these games anymore… especially if its on-line… fuck…. XI was bad enough…. wow… sorry bro, my bad.
It’s no problem dude; I just think it’s funny that out of everything in my rant the only thing you felt to say anything about was XIV being (or not being) released… Kinda speaks volumes for what I was saying. ;)
i really couldnt comment on much. personally i didnt mind crisis core, or dirge. as for the versus stuff… from what ive heard and read, not worth my money. and dissidea.. it doesnt concern me, its basically ergheiz all over but with FF characters only, so its no big deal. i just cant stand “online stuff” only. its pointless and stupid in the aspect that FF as a series is not really an online game. blame warcraft or whatever; but i (not saying you dont, you know?) have a life. video games are fine, and i enjoy them, but i dont have a desire to spend money i DONT have on online B.S. , personally i think they need to re-release FF7 on PS3 and call it a day- because lets face it, FF is dead.
NOOOOOO!!!! Think about it….do you _*REALLY*_ WANT Square fucking ENIX to RE-MAKE (emphasis on both the “re” and the “make”) FFVII for the PS3??? REALLY?!?!?!
Or, in other words, do you REALLY want George Lucas to “re”-“make” the original Star Wars trilogy for the very purpose that _NOW_ he can use cutting-edge, modern cinematography, 3D, effects, and CGI to make a *WAY* more better and AWESOME movie, and for _*NO*_ other reason?????? (I think the Lucas-Square-Enix analogy fits here, at least in this contetxt.)
Because that’s the *EXACT* same logic behind both wishes/fantasies/nitghtmares here!
I mean, seriously, no, think about it: it would be *SERIOUSLY* like asking George Lucas to RE-MAKE the original Star Wars trilogy using newer effects and actors. and No, I don’t mean like re-releasing the originals in some sort of “special” edition, I mean RE-MAKING THE FILMS FROM *SCRATCH* IN THE YEAR 2012.
FFVII is a gem. Go back and play it. It’s *STILL* a gem. Don’t pull an “Indiana Jones 4″ and just give Square-ENIX the “opportunity” to shit on/fuck up/insult/rape what is still a great gem. Let it be. It’s done. It’s history now. Enough has been said about it, it’s perfect, don’t touch it.
DON’T MAKE THEM RAPE FFVII, because you know they would. Just look at FFXIII!
I don’t think so, I’ve enjoyed the remakes that have been made of 1 and 2 on the PSP system. I haven’t tried the remake IV collection so I wouldn’t know, but what I have heard has been general good… A FFVII remake would not be the same as a Star Wars remake as FFVII doesn’t have actors…
Look at Lunar Silver Star Harmony. The main reason it wasn’t as accepted as the original (Silver Star Story) was because it didn’t use the same Voice actors as the original. Since FFVII didn’t have voice actors this shouldn’t be an issue.
yeah, UNLESS they DO use voice actors…..(shudders)
Well if they Do use voice actors if/when they remake Final Fantasy VII, hopefully they would reuse the voice actors from Advent Children…
I really cant say much on the FF7 comments, but um… George is going to ass rape star wars starting this year. even if its NOT starting from scratch, what damage do you THINK will be done for the 3-D conversion. Seriously. I still play FF7, yeah, but really wouldnt mind seeing a visual upgrade on it, i mean why FFX?? theres no reason the game couldnt be played the EXACT same way, but with beefed up graphics, no dialog change, no game play change. justa visual upgrade. WE gameplayers deserve a BEEFED up FF7 for all the shit we have had to put up with since FF8.
From what i’ve heard XIII-2 is supposed to fix issues from XIII, for example the linearity you mentioned. Also saying they shouldn’t make XIII-2 based on what X-2 was is kinda stupid because there is little relation, though after the popularity of XIII you could argue “what are are thinking” considering releasing a sequel to it.
and X-2 was suppose to help explain off some loose threads from X… Still didn’t save it from being as bad as it was though. And I was referring to them making a XIII-2 considering the success of XIII along with how they have bomb with most of their sequel Final Fantasy games so far.
Counterpoint: 1 was shit, 2 was tremendous, TREMENDOUS broken buggy shit, 3 was boring, 4 was okay but really retarded and overused the whole “look at me, I’m sacrificing my life to save the quest” gimmick, 5 was boring, 6… I guess 6 was decent, 7 was kinda decent, 8 was dogshit, 9 was bad but not as bad as 8 so people confused it with a good game, 10 was retarded, 10-2 was somehow even dumber, and after that, congratulations, if you kept buying Final Fantasy games you’re officially Part of the Problem™.
No matter how bad 1-10 were, they were not as bad as any of the newer FF games. And for all your personal opinions of the FF series shows that you lack an understanding of them…
Final Fantasy 1 is regarded as one of the most influential and Successful RPGs of all time. It was definitely not “shit” as it is helped RPGs get on the map.
Final Fantasy 2 is the “Star Wars: A New Hope” of Final Fantasy games… And it is one of the first games to allow you to save at any time (something that has become a staple of RPGs since).
FF3 was boring? Did you know Famitsu rated the original FF3 as the 8th best video game of all time back in 2006…
FF4 was one of the first RPGs to feature a dramatic, complex, and involving plot, setting a new standard of excellence upon it’s release. It has been listed as the 6th greatest game of all time by famitsu, the 8th on the list of “100 greatest nintendo games”, It was the highest ranked FF title by IGN in 2005 and was placed 2nd behind FF6 in 2007…
FF5 might have not had the best of stories, but it was one of the first RPGs to feature hidden events and items (something that has been an expected addition ever since).
You guess 6 was decent and 7 was “kinda decent”? Are you sure you’ve played the same games as me? Final Fantasy 6 is generally regarded as one of the greatest RPGs of all time, and THE greatest FF game of all time by most gaming websites… followed closely by FF4 and FF7. FF6 and 7 both, undisputedly, have the greatest most memorable villains of any FF title (and arguably of any RPG).
8 might have been a little bad, but not as bad as any title since X-2. It still had memorable moments and a devoted fanbase(something which can’t be said for XI, XII, XIII, or XIV).
9 was bad? Ha! Along with 4, 6, and 7; 9 is right with them as being considered one of the best FF titles. The characters, the graphics, the plot, the mechanics were all exceptional. It’s only problem was that it’s story could become a little confusing for the inexperienced…
… Also, you do realize that your “counterpoint” was nothing but bias opinion, opinion that you didn’t even back up with anything at all… That’s not what a counterpoint is… What are you even trying to counter anyway? I said that the Final Fantasy series is going down, that was the main point of my original post, your counterpoint isn’t countering that, it’s agreeing with it. The only difference is that you feel it’s been bad the entire time while I felt that there was a high point.
Final Fantasy versus 13 is not a sequel. Final Fantasy versus 13 is it’s own game, it’s in the same universe as Final Fantasy 13 but no way linked besides the locations. It’s going to appearantly have the world map back that was gone since Final Fantasy 10. If I am ill-informed please comment to re-correct my words.
PS. I’m looking forward to Final Fantasy Versus 13. (sorta)
(facepalm) with dialog such as this, its a no wonder rikku yuna and paine we so easily adapted to hentai
Final Fantasy X-2 Review part 3 will you do it
spoony could you stop saying the fuck word please in like your videos but that word .
Please No Cusses. Dont EVER Make A Swear On Internet. Children Might Be.!!!
I’m sure he’ll consider it once you learn how to construct a sentence. Anyone want to take bets as to which will happen first?
Im Hopping Mad Over Words And Swears.
I wonder how Spoony’s going to rip apart the rest of the game? The only thing good about Final Fantasy X-2 is the music. I hope Final Fantasy XIII-2 doesn’t share the same fate as X-2. Speaking of XIII is Spoony going to review that game as well i’m looking forward to part 3.
I hope you’re kidding. The music, from what I can tell in this review, is all terrible, badly translated J-Pop. At least FFX had a cool metal song in it for the Jecht fight.
I don’t mean the actual vocal songs but some of the instrumental music. Like the opening credit music (before you press the start button).
Ehh… okay. But it’s not like there’s better games for music. Off the top of my head, Command & Conquer Red Alert 2 had an amazing soundtrack (then again, I am being a bit unfair by using a series renowned for quality music). Fable had surprisingly memorable music and it was released a month after FF X-2.
It’s “not like there’s better games for music”? Are you… INSANE?!
Final Fantasy XIII
Star Ocean 3
Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Megaman (ESPECIALLY Megaman 9)
Castlevania (pretty much any of them)
I’m sorry if I’m being too disrespectful, but you’re either out of your goddamn mind or you haven’t play those many RPGs out there.
I was referring purely to FFX. All of those games have better music (though to be honest the only ones I’ve played are Castlevania, Megaman and LoZ: Skyward Sword [I was literally playing it 10 minutes ago]). I’m not much of a JRPG fan at all. Don’t hurt me.
Also, I’m a metal head who plays jazz, so that also skews my views. For example, I adore the soundtrack for Brutal Legend, all of the Fallout games, and Grim Fandango.
Persona 4 had the worst fucking soundtrack in the history of ever.
It’s not just that it’s bad J-Music, it’s that it’s the same fucking songs over and over again for literal days of playtime.
When I close my eyes I still sometimes hear “I reach out to the truth”.
oh it will. i have absolutely no doubt it will. even if you like XIII, which, I DIDNT, same as X, XIII-2 will suck as bad as X-2. not worse, jesus I’d be horrified if they did worse, but itll be the same load of crap as X-2, mixed with the same load of crap for XIII, mixed with a now medieval setting WHOOPS DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOAD?
I actually liked XIII and from what i’ve heard XIII-2 will be darker than the prior game. Nothing could be worse the XIV I heard the pc game was so bad. That Square-Enix gave buyers a refund and apologized for making the game.
Given Spoony makes great logical points with these final fantasy games.His Final Fantasy X review actually convinced me to change my mind on Tidus. Before I was a fan of Tidus now the character is just a whiny crybaby to me. Still despite the plot holes with the game it’s still fun to play. And I plan on getting it when it hits psn in 2012
He makes logical points? He’s a cartoon character…nothing this guy says is logical lol. He’s sometimes funny and he’s a snarky son of a bitch…but really, I wouldn’t trust this guy with anything. He’s an idiot…but he can by funny sometimes. I like to think of him as a mock version of Bugs Bunny…minus the 100 percent humor all the time.
speaking of the fan service, how the fuck did you miss the chance to have a fan service count?!?
? It would be easier to have a count of things that are not a fan service .
dis game wasn’t that good.. ffxiii is the best.. suck it hators..
i like ff13 mostly but fav has to be ff7 it gotten bad after that anyway 10-2 is a game i like i gotten sick of tired of plyaing ff10 doing the grid and kicking that blue jack ass averyday it gets boring alot anyway ff13 best game i played cant wait for ff13-2
I remember when this piece of shit first came out – I didn’t have a PS2, but I had a male friend who did, and if I recall correctly, he liked it. I remember him talking excitedly about how cool all the girls were, but I don’t remember him commenting on the gameplay – I think he liked it, though. Probably because he was about 9 or 10 years old at the time and didn’t frigging know better. But then, he liked and played some really good games, like Ocarina of Time and Final Fantasy VII – I can only concluded that he just liked any damn game you put in front of him, and only learnt hate as he got older. Such is life, I suppose.
How the hell did this game get away with a T rating?? I don’t mean to be a prude, but geez, communal bathing, graphic homoerotic massages, incestuous love triangles, and monkey sex? Not to mention that half of the characters are wearing next to nothing? I just find it really strange that only a year after this game out, religious right groups raised hell over GTA San Andreas for the “hot coffee” minigame, and that could only be accessed through a hack and the game was rated M anyway. The massage minigame in FFX2 is the EXACT SAME THING, and this game is geared towards kids! The brothel scene in FF7 is nothing compared to this. Fortunately I never played this game (and after watching this I thank God I didn’t bother), but I think with its corny dialogue that could only be enjoyed by a seven year old combined with its graphic sexual overtones that this game is extremely dangerous for kids, and this is coming from someone who is a staunch liberal.
Rated T for Tawdry. becasue Rated P for Pedophile doesnt work as good, does it?
you remind me of a friend of mine down to the hair and room lol, keep them coming! I,ve watched this site evolve so much and I’m really excited to see what you do next.
Oh yeah, and by the way – no, girls don’t normally compare tit sizes, unless you’re actually trying to take the piss out of them. I’ve never seen or heard of women comparing their boobs in earnest.
I feel your pain on shoving the ‘furries’ into the elevator, those things look just hard as hell to put up with shoving in there. And the fact they silently play their instruments is just such a waste of all that. And dear lord she’s not even singing!
Oh and your face while you were listening to NChick made me crack up, I love your freaked out faces.
FYI If you don’t want Tidus to come back, don’t complete the game any higher than 75%! Also, the guy Yuna sees in a sphere at the beginning is NOT Tidus but the main antagonist of this game, Shuyin.
spoony… just be glad that out of both her cousins, only ONE wants to screw her. by comparison, curve-comparison aint that bad.
You realize the airship isn’t the same one from the first game, right? I mean they have similar names (the first is the Fahrenheit, this one’s the Celsius) but I don’t think this one has the firepower of the first.
And women do compare boobs, but only when they’re in middle school.
Fuck yeah spoony!! FFx-2 sucks!! But a Dance with Dragons rocked my socks off!!! What a great series a song of ice and fire is!!
This game is a fucking disgrace.
Spoony…is complaining…about a game where three girls take bathe in a hot spring together, two of them (Cousins yes, but still hot) are comparing bust size, just about every chick in the game is wearing barely anything…and their’s a minigame where you give a hot blonde a massage so she can reach an alleged orgasm.
…And this guy…is COMPLAINING ABOUT IT…
…To anyone who takes this jabroni seriously, I want you to let that settle in.
BTW, the game is god awful…but come on.
I can’t take someone who uses the word jabroni seriously.
Oh, is it because you don’t understand what it means…or rather you just don’t want to admit it?
It’s fine either way…because i’m right.
Implying that Spoony is complaining about fanservice, not the fact the game has plot/logic holes that Saturn V could fit through.
It’s because anyone who uses the term jabroni in a serious way while questioning someones sexuality in a roundabout way (because they don’t find pixelated titties hot) is clearly a “bro” and nobody should ever take those sorts of idiots seriously.
I think the point he’s trying to make by pointing out the insane amount of fanservice packed into this game is that it’s just not something that really makes sense in a Final Fantasy game. If you want to watch a girl give another girl an orgasm, there’s plenty of porn on the internet to serve that purpose. When it’s jammed into a Final Fantasy game in a sad attempt to get the player to overlook the fact that the game is completely substanceless and idiotic, it just makes the game even worse. (That’s not even mentioning that, as a game that obviously panders to those of us with vaginas, the spank material they added in doesn’t really appeal to the majority of the female demographic.)
XD I’ve watched this vid half a dozen times JUST to see his face at the accordion bit
DOOOO part 3 pleas
Am I the only person who really dislikes SadPanda’s music? This isn’t the first time I’ve thought that, but it’s all so generic, interchangeable, and indistinguishable.
Not that that’s the important part, though. 10-2 sucks. (And Part 3 is supposed to be up within a week or so, if his twitter is any indication.)
Holy crap. I was watching this and just after the clip of Yor’s world showed up I went to the genius section of Itunes, and the actual Yor’s World song was suggested!
Spoony….I love your reviews so much xD. They reduce me to tears every time I watch them, I laugh so hard. As someone who has played almost every Final Fantasy game there is, X-2 was so bad, it left me completely astounded and disillusioned, especially since I enjoyed X despite its flaws. Every game that has been released in the past ten years makes me want to tear my hair out in frustration. After this one, please review XIII. I can’t wait to see your commentary for that game. It’s so HORRIBLE ;_;
Is one of Leblanc’s goons Professor Snape? O.O
Does Shinra have briefcase handles on the back of his jumpsuit thing?… It really bothered me for a few minutes. haha
Dude there is like so much spank material on FF games that there like porn websites
If you’d have done all or even just some of the side quests, you would never have had to farm AP for dress spheres. It’s not like other final fantasies where roaming through all content still leaves you under leveled. The side quests are the soul of this game, it’s built around the very definition of replay value. But you don’t do them. You would even try to 100% the game in one go, which completely defeats the purpose of, hell, owning this game altogether. It’s like you bought Prince of Persia, expecting God of War.
It’s very hard to take your review seriously at all. To me its just a video of some dude overreacting to quirky things and over analyzing a Final Fantasy game…
So let’s ignore the game’s other flaws (it’s awful plot hole riddled plot, terrible writing, idiotic characters, atrocious art design, shoddy pacing, and poorly balanced combat) and focus on the side quest/leveling connection.
So, if you don’t want to grind yourself into insanity you HAVE to perform the OPTIONAL side content? If you don’t want to farm, you are basically forced to do the non-essential content? Sounds to me like the developers missed the point of side content. Either way the player has to do busy work to level up. Bullcrap.
Dug the reference to “The Untouchables” dude–now all I can think of is Robert deNiro as Yuna
That must have been the most epic ending I’ve ever seen. You put so much effort into this- and where do you get all the cost-plays?
What do your parents say when they walk into you, doing- well. THIS?
“honey, I wish you would just masturbate like all the other boys…” Questions, tons of them. Anyway, that was just brilliant.
Actually he lives with his brother.
this is brilliant :D
12:16 – SHE WILL DIE TONIGHT!
This review is brought to you by Schmitts Gay
Riku: I found a sphere.
Yuna: After 10+ hours of searching, defeating Lebitch or whatever her name is for the upteenth time & fighting different colored scoops of evil ice cream, it better be worth it.
Paine: I’ll say.
Sphere shows static for a few seconds then….Rick: Never give you up! Never going to let you down!
Yuna, Riku, Paine: (facepalm)
I compare my boobs to other mens boobs
Leblanc’s henchmen are Logos and Ormi which mean Speech and Daring in Greek. I just fucking hope to god that was accidental and Square wasn’t honestly trying to be artsy and deep.
“Tee-dus”, not “Ty-tus”.
No body cares.
The lip flaps! I know right~ It’s almost like this game used to be in a foreign language and was translated into English later or something~
sacasm will always solve you’re problems
But it won’t help your spelling.
damn you inability to check spelling before posting,it always ruins combacks!!!!!
I understand, in the hurry to get out the awesome before anyone else does spell check kinda gets left in the dust. :3
LOL, you do realize that in Japanese videogames and animation the mouth movements are rarely ever sync’d to match the original dialoge either to begin with? Its SOP to just have the lip flaps cycle from just the begining to the end of the dialoge. Granted that will typically leave characters flapping their mouth when characters have stopped talking when its translated into english but its actually pretty easy (though time consuming) to just re-sync the mouth movements with modern editting tools so the mouth-flaps in FF-X really do just reek of lazy localization.
thank you for explaining that
considering most reviewers rarely comment on the mouth movements of Japanese videogames and anime. i had to assume producers could sync it up. . . so it’s good to know officially that Square Enix don’t care about there products or there fans
*sigh* Square Enix if you want to make a porn movie then just make a porn movie skip all the rpg tedious crap
He wears a gas mask because he’s looking for his mummy.
As much of a disappointment as this game was, Brother’s voice was always good for a chuckle (our sanity depends on it!)
Wuell, I can’t speak for all girls/women, but me and my friends do compare boob size in the shower. Dunno if that’s normal behavior though, but yeah.. ^^’
nice….. at the urinal ……hahahah
The reason they don’t explain how the sphere waves work is because hot chicks and exposition are the key to nerd nirvana and x2 was never gonna do anything remotely logical
Oh my god so many possible masturbation jokes…. Every other quote from the antagonists can be contorted into a jerk it joke. “I just need to blow off some steam!” LOL hahahahahahahahahahaha
God dammit Spoony. Watching you is like watching an old friend I never had but always wish I did. Not sure that makes a lick of fucking sense but that’s how it is.
What’s sad is this game needs to have a cutscene tell you Leblanc stole the sphere, because if gameplay actually allowed you to have anything different, her incompetent ass would have been kicked right out of your airship. It’s nice to know a game needs to use cutscene BS to make one of its primary antagonists even remotely threatening.
I think the ability to play the game might have been intentional, considering…..
Interesting thing to note Spoony: That Shinra kid? He is, indeed………….not the same Shinra from FF7. However, according to the series creator, his distant ancestor IS the same Shinra, and that FF7 and FFX are in the same universe, although they’re two completely different planets.
That is utterly nonsensical though when you think about it.. at all. If he is an interplanetary ancestor, we are to assume that Spira, the backwater, technophobic dump that it is which has actively feared and resented things even less technically advanced than toasters for over a thousand years, eventually developed interplanetary travel and their use of this completely unprecedented technology was to send people to the FF7 planet who then promptly ditched their incredibly advanced space-travel technology, leaving no trace, and set up shop as a weapons manufacturer and energy concern/corporate dictatorship. They also managed to completely conceal their existence from history unless they landed before recorded history, which means, assuming the humans of FF7 developed civilization at a rate similar to ours, they landed thousands of years before the founding of Shinra as a company.
I’ve seen people make the argument that the Cetra were the mysterious ancestors and Weapons were proof of their presence, but we’ve already seen, very clearly, that the Cetra were a spiritual people, not a technological one, and the weapons are organic creatures, not machines.
The story of Scientology makes more sense than the link between FF7 and FFX-2.
Exactly, it makes absolutely no goddamn sense. I was just clarifying that Spoony’s assumption was indeed true.
Shinra is an Al-Bhed, the one civilization in Spira that is not skeptical of using Machina. The airship from FFX and FFX-2 was made by the Al-Bheds. Their capital (the one that was destroyed “like fireworks”) was filled with machines. I can see the Al-Bheds (led by Shinra) building machinery capable of exploring other planets.
That being said, I am not sure how the Al-Bheds and the Cetra fit together. Regular humans in FFVII are just descendants of Cetrans who decided to stop migrating/finding the Promised Land and lost communication with the Lifestream. The Al-Bhed don’t have the power to harness magic from a Lifestream in the same way that the Cetrans did. Unless the Al-Bhed were a separate introduction of normal humans into the FFVII planet without prior connection to the Centrans, it makes no sense. Also, if there were two different independent evolutions of regular humans, the game would have said something about that.
I’m surprised there’s no ass counter on this review! I mean, LeBlanc is outright shaking her ass at 20:44!
Spoony specifically stated why he wasn’t doing it in this series of reviews in Part 1: In FFX, it was just an odd quirk of the game’s direction, here it’s blantant, intentional fanservice.
I can’t believe you replied to a four month old comment about an ass counter, lol.
I know all that. I obviously watched Part 1 before watching Part 2. But after seeing something like that, I couldn’t help thinking that it would’ve been funny if he tried to keep count of the ass-fanservice.
This game maybe bad, but it could be worse. Spider Man could sell his marriage to Mephisto…wait, what?
I approve, sir.
Nah, it’s too specific and not nearly convoluted enough. Not even enough to match its successor, FF13.
Also, it needs more oppressive religious symbolism for Japan to throw the Power of Friendship at.
Is that a trace of jizz on his bed?
I’m always crying of laughter at “THE NE-E-E-E-ERVE!” :D
No pants, baby!
The cousin thing seems to be a common anime/JRPG trope. Often in harem-type animes where every girl falls in love with the protagonist his ‘sister’ also will. And she will feel ashamed since that’s wrong but then she finds out it’s ok, because the protagonist isn’t really her brother but her cousin instead (the recent and well-liked Sword Art Online does that, for example). Cousin marriage is also legal in Japan as it is in many parts of Europe and even some U.S states. So I guess that’s just a part of other cultures…
Huh, I never knew that. Thanks for shedding light on the situation. :3
It’s also due to, in the Japanese culture, men find it intimidating, with their zillion hour work week, to attempt to date and meet new women, and face rejection and such. So, the idea of childhood friend, cousin, stuff like that is such a big thing to the Japanese because it’s a woman that you’ve known forever, and therefor, don’t have to fear being mocked and such.
That’s the idea, anyways.
I can’t believe it took me this long, but…
Logos (aka – Skinny Henchman) is voiced by Paul Dobson, right?
It really is interesting to see a game with open contempt for its audience. You’d think people would catch on eventually, but somehow people actually give money to be openly mocked with naked derision.