Final Fantasy VIII – Part 6

The Spoony One | Sep 12 2007 | more notation(s) | 

WARNING: Mature Content!

It seems that FF8 has thrown me into a hallucinatory wonderland, where a parallel universe version of myself decided to ravage Final Fantasy SEVEN instead!

Before everyone gets upset, I’m just fucking around so count to ten before you go declaring a blood-feud on my house.

  • Dan

    Is that really the music to the ‘sad’ part?
    Another funny video.
    I laughed alot at how right you were that all the Final Fantasy games revolve around finding rocks. Rediculous.
    Keep them coming.
    ~Dan

  • Dan

    Is that really the music to the ‘sad’ part?
    Another funny video.
    I laughed alot at how right you were that all the Final Fantasy games revolve around finding rocks. Rediculous.
    Keep them coming.
    ~Dan

  • notascam

    pah! The opera merely foreshadows the real tear-jerker scene: Celes’ despair, and attempted suicide. What’s more tragic then attractive women giving up on life?

  • notascam

    pah! The opera merely foreshadows the real tear-jerker scene: Celes’ despair, and attempted suicide. What’s more tragic then attractive women giving up on life?

  • Lizzy

    I love FF7, but I have to laugh at this.

  • Lizzy

    I love FF7, but I have to laugh at this.

  • Movie Fan

    I love how you’re the only reviewer out there to have the balls to take on the Final Fantasy series and stupid anime crap that has infested many of the games today. Good show.

  • Movie Fan

    I love how you’re the only reviewer out there to have the balls to take on the Final Fantasy series and stupid anime crap that has infested many of the games today. Good show.

  • aaa

    Fanboy head explosions are a beautiful sight.

  • aaa

    Fanboy head explosions are a beautiful sight.

  • Jonny#5

    About time I say. Everyone treats FF7 like a sacred cow but really should get the mocking it deserved all those years ago. Not because it’s bad but because people shouldn’t take the games so damn seriously!

  • Jonny#5

    About time I say. Everyone treats FF7 like a sacred cow but really should get the mocking it deserved all those years ago. Not because it’s bad but because people shouldn’t take the games so damn seriously!

  • Agent001

    I dunno. Even if you’re fucking around you’re right on all points.

  • Agent001

    I dunno. Even if you’re fucking around you’re right on all points.

  • JessicaM

    Hey Don’t mock All of us Cosplayers now D= you made me cry *not really but heh*
    However I do agree with you on the fact that Anime can do some really messup things. I’m not a insane fan. Yes I go to cons, I cosplay, and do watch alot of anime if I get the time too. But DAMN, I seen crazy people too. And THANK YOU for giving Nartuo a good bashing.

    I never played FF7 but I do want to. More so to see what all the craze is about.

  • JessicaM

    Hey Don’t mock All of us Cosplayers now D= you made me cry *not really but heh*
    However I do agree with you on the fact that Anime can do some really messup things. I’m not a insane fan. Yes I go to cons, I cosplay, and do watch alot of anime if I get the time too. But DAMN, I seen crazy people too. And THANK YOU for giving Nartuo a good bashing.

    I never played FF7 but I do want to. More so to see what all the craze is about.

  • Insert_Name

    My god, came across this site, saw the FF reviews, and sir.. you are a champion among men! Laughed so hard, even if you’re messing around you seem to hit all nails.

  • Insert_Name

    My god, came across this site, saw the FF reviews, and sir.. you are a champion among men! Laughed so hard, even if you’re messing around you seem to hit all nails.

  • James

    Thank you. Thank you so much. Final Fantasy VIII is one of the WORST games on the Playstation, and FFVII isn’t very good either. If anyone hasn’t played VII yet, don’t. It doesn’t age well at all, and it was kind of a “had to be there” sort of thing.

  • James

    Thank you. Thank you so much. Final Fantasy VIII is one of the WORST games on the Playstation, and FFVII isn’t very good either. If anyone hasn’t played VII yet, don’t. It doesn’t age well at all, and it was kind of a “had to be there” sort of thing.

  • Daniel

    I laught for ten minutes because of the Naruto joke, god how i hate naruto and the thing it do to people who are addicted to it!

    I just hate these fanboys who see anime all day and are cosplay..

  • Daniel

    I laught for ten minutes because of the Naruto joke, god how i hate naruto and the thing it do to people who are addicted to it!

    I just hate these fanboys who see anime all day and are cosplay..

  • Bryan

    Actually I’d love to see a review by you of X and X-2. The latter especially since it’s pretty much everything you hate about the newer RPGs.

  • Bryan

    Actually I’d love to see a review by you of X and X-2. The latter especially since it’s pretty much everything you hate about the newer RPGs.

  • Z

    ive never seen the big deal with FF VII, maybe cus everytime ive tried to play it somethings has been wrong with whatever cds i had at the times, as for the scene where Aries dies, i for one jump around the room singing “Hurray the wicked witch is dead”. seriously other than her limit break shes useless.

  • Z

    ive never seen the big deal with FF VII, maybe cus everytime ive tried to play it somethings has been wrong with whatever cds i had at the times, as for the scene where Aries dies, i for one jump around the room singing “Hurray the wicked witch is dead”. seriously other than her limit break shes useless.

  • Burgiz

    Dude, what was up with the whole Cloud, gay wrestlers scene? I have never seen it before, how did you do it? Also you inspired me to name my FF7 characters after members of the A team

  • Burgiz

    Dude, what was up with the whole Cloud, gay wrestlers scene? I have never seen it before, how did you do it? Also you inspired me to name my FF7 characters after members of the A team

  • Matt

    Honestly, VII is just okay, it’s not the masterpiece most people claim it to be, a good game but it doesn’t warrant being called the best game ever, nor even the best in the series. Hell, Final Fantasy X is a way better game for the story, and even the characters some would argue. Yes, I am not joking, I really don’t know why people thought that game was bad, it had an impressive storyline, great scenes a piss easy system of leveling and and learning abilities and fun as shit battles… the only downer was the fucking final boss, and those stupid fucking minigames which I actually accomplished. dodge 200 lightning, chocobo racing and the worst of them all Blitzball. I HAD TO PLAY 100 GAMES OF THAT PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I COULD MAX OUT WAKKA’S STUPID ULTIMATE WEAPON! Never again. But aside from that, it is a good game, and should not be lumped together with X-2 because that was a failed sequel. Like Advent Children was.

    Anyway, VII is not the masterpiece that VI, IV and V were, and even IX managed to be better than it in more ways than one. Oh, and Materia is a rather stupid imo.

  • Matt

    Honestly, VII is just okay, it’s not the masterpiece most people claim it to be, a good game but it doesn’t warrant being called the best game ever, nor even the best in the series. Hell, Final Fantasy X is a way better game for the story, and even the characters some would argue. Yes, I am not joking, I really don’t know why people thought that game was bad, it had an impressive storyline, great scenes a piss easy system of leveling and and learning abilities and fun as shit battles… the only downer was the fucking final boss, and those stupid fucking minigames which I actually accomplished. dodge 200 lightning, chocobo racing and the worst of them all Blitzball. I HAD TO PLAY 100 GAMES OF THAT PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I COULD MAX OUT WAKKA’S STUPID ULTIMATE WEAPON! Never again. But aside from that, it is a good game, and should not be lumped together with X-2 because that was a failed sequel. Like Advent Children was.

    Anyway, VII is not the masterpiece that VI, IV and V were, and even IX managed to be better than it in more ways than one. Oh, and Materia is a rather stupid imo.

  • Anonymouse

    The way FF7 changed RPGs is making the stories deeper and the characters more 3 dimensional. Destroying the power plants was good because the stuff that was powering them was destroying the planet. Yes, I guess that could be considered eco-terrorism, but that’s not the point. The relationships between the characters is complex, for example, like between Cloud and Sephiroth. Sephiroth and Cloud were best friends and trained together in SOLDIER. Sephiroth was pretty much Cloud’s mentor. Then Sephiroth goes Super Saiyan and destroys Cloud’s and Tifa’s hometown (Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends) because Sephiroth realizes that he’s the last of a race of “superhumans” (or gods, or aliens, or whatever. I forget) who were killed by Cloud’s species. Shinra is, I think, the Mafia and they control everything. It’s kind of a dystopian atmosphere. The game also has a subtle environmental message as well, because the energy that runs the power plants is materia, which has been overmined and is killing the planet.
    Also, they killed off a main character, and that was pretty rare in those days. The plot is pretty complicated but apparently Advent Children explains it better. It also satisfies the usual critics of JRPGs because the game is non-linear. The dialogue was also localized well, which wasn’t common yet.
    I mean, I don’t think FF7 was the best, and yes, it can be overrated. But I also think you’re underrating it as well.
    The biggest problem *I* had with this game was the random battles. They seem to be the most frequent out of any FF I’ve played. I’ve always hated random battles, and FF7 is the worst when it comes to that.

  • Anonymouse

    The way FF7 changed RPGs is making the stories deeper and the characters more 3 dimensional. Destroying the power plants was good because the stuff that was powering them was destroying the planet. Yes, I guess that could be considered eco-terrorism, but that’s not the point. The relationships between the characters is complex, for example, like between Cloud and Sephiroth. Sephiroth and Cloud were best friends and trained together in SOLDIER. Sephiroth was pretty much Cloud’s mentor. Then Sephiroth goes Super Saiyan and destroys Cloud’s and Tifa’s hometown (Cloud and Tifa are childhood friends) because Sephiroth realizes that he’s the last of a race of “superhumans” (or gods, or aliens, or whatever. I forget) who were killed by Cloud’s species. Shinra is, I think, the Mafia and they control everything. It’s kind of a dystopian atmosphere. The game also has a subtle environmental message as well, because the energy that runs the power plants is materia, which has been overmined and is killing the planet.
    Also, they killed off a main character, and that was pretty rare in those days. The plot is pretty complicated but apparently Advent Children explains it better. It also satisfies the usual critics of JRPGs because the game is non-linear. The dialogue was also localized well, which wasn’t common yet.
    I mean, I don’t think FF7 was the best, and yes, it can be overrated. But I also think you’re underrating it as well.
    The biggest problem *I* had with this game was the random battles. They seem to be the most frequent out of any FF I’ve played. I’ve always hated random battles, and FF7 is the worst when it comes to that.

  • Anonymouse

    Oh, also, Cloud wasn’t exactly willing to go dress in drag. It was Aeris’ idea, and at first he was like “WTF?! No way!” and then they kinda break him down and he eventually reluctantly agrees. But after that scene, you get to literally kick the Mafia guy in the balls if he doesn’t give you info.

  • Anonymouse

    Oh, also, Cloud wasn’t exactly willing to go dress in drag. It was Aeris’ idea, and at first he was like “WTF?! No way!” and then they kinda break him down and he eventually reluctantly agrees. But after that scene, you get to literally kick the Mafia guy in the balls if he doesn’t give you info.

  • Blunderbuss

    I would pay any amount of money for you to tear Advent Children a new asshole. I was suckered into paying $35 bucks for that piece of shit because of the hype and I demand vengence. Vengeeeeeence!

  • Blunderbuss

    I would pay any amount of money for you to tear Advent Children a new asshole. I was suckered into paying $35 bucks for that piece of shit because of the hype and I demand vengence. Vengeeeeeence!

  • Jacob

    Dude I was getting a few chuckles here and there when I watched this but the part at the end where you just started screaming had me rolling, thanks for the laughs man.

  • Jacob

    Dude I was getting a few chuckles here and there when I watched this but the part at the end where you just started screaming had me rolling, thanks for the laughs man.

  • Dave

    Thank you for ripping a game that I have Iong thought was extremely overrated and annoying.

    That’s right FF7 Fanboys I said FF7 sucks

  • Dave

    Thank you for ripping a game that I have Iong thought was extremely overrated and annoying.

    That’s right FF7 Fanboys I said FF7 sucks

  • Andrew Joshua Talon

    Well, I’d just like to say that while I am an anime/manga fan, I’m not offended by anything said in this review. Actually, I agree with a fair amount of it. It is an unfortunate fact of any community that there are going to be weirdos, perverts, and outright whackjobs in residence, and more than likely these people are the ones that most in the public will point to, decrying the whole community as a bunch of weirdos, perverts and outright whackjobs.

    In the information age, the sensational travels furthest, and the anime cosplayers who go too far, the hentai fans who are into seriously messed up shit, and the yaoi fangirls who pair any two males they find hot together in smutty stories are the ones who keep getting the camera. Which isn’t fair, to be honest.

    Sure, I have cosplayed once or twice, but as part of a group because frankly, it’s fun to do fun and crazy things with your friends than to do things alone. I am a prolific writer of fanfiction and original fiction. In the case of the former, it’s because I like the characters of the animes and I want to see if I can write them just as well as the creator, or better. Or to explore different possibilities with the characters, to delve into different themes in these worlds the creators never thought of or couldn’t do. And most of all, simply because it’s fun. It’s like the literary version of playing with LEGOS: They come in a box with detailed instructions for a set model to build, with the picture on the front, but you wonder “What else can I build? What else can I do with it?”

    Sure, we can’t make money off it (a popular joke among otaku is that anime is our anti-drug, because all our money that could be used for buying it goes to anime), but so what? It’s fun, it gives us community, and it gives us entire worlds of fascinating stories and characters and adventures to explore, ponder, consider, and expand upon in our own ways.

    The fanatics, the fanboys, and the yaoi fangirls are just people who take things way too far, usually due to their own issues. I mean, should we judge all filmmakers to be like Uwe Boll? Or all liberals by Michael Moore? Not at all. They’re human, and humans have a bad tendency to let their own neuroses and grudges and other emotional baggage affect what they do.

    I can’t defend the weirdos, perverts and whackjobs of my community, Mr. Antwiler, but I can defend the members of that community, and what we all enjoy.

  • Andrew Joshua Talon

    Well, I’d just like to say that while I am an anime/manga fan, I’m not offended by anything said in this review. Actually, I agree with a fair amount of it. It is an unfortunate fact of any community that there are going to be weirdos, perverts, and outright whackjobs in residence, and more than likely these people are the ones that most in the public will point to, decrying the whole community as a bunch of weirdos, perverts and outright whackjobs.

    In the information age, the sensational travels furthest, and the anime cosplayers who go too far, the hentai fans who are into seriously messed up shit, and the yaoi fangirls who pair any two males they find hot together in smutty stories are the ones who keep getting the camera. Which isn’t fair, to be honest.

    Sure, I have cosplayed once or twice, but as part of a group because frankly, it’s fun to do fun and crazy things with your friends than to do things alone. I am a prolific writer of fanfiction and original fiction. In the case of the former, it’s because I like the characters of the animes and I want to see if I can write them just as well as the creator, or better. Or to explore different possibilities with the characters, to delve into different themes in these worlds the creators never thought of or couldn’t do. And most of all, simply because it’s fun. It’s like the literary version of playing with LEGOS: They come in a box with detailed instructions for a set model to build, with the picture on the front, but you wonder “What else can I build? What else can I do with it?”

    Sure, we can’t make money off it (a popular joke among otaku is that anime is our anti-drug, because all our money that could be used for buying it goes to anime), but so what? It’s fun, it gives us community, and it gives us entire worlds of fascinating stories and characters and adventures to explore, ponder, consider, and expand upon in our own ways.

    The fanatics, the fanboys, and the yaoi fangirls are just people who take things way too far, usually due to their own issues. I mean, should we judge all filmmakers to be like Uwe Boll? Or all liberals by Michael Moore? Not at all. They’re human, and humans have a bad tendency to let their own neuroses and grudges and other emotional baggage affect what they do.

    I can’t defend the weirdos, perverts and whackjobs of my community, Mr. Antwiler, but I can defend the members of that community, and what we all enjoy.

  • Tam Lin

    Oh Jesus jackrabbit Christ, THANK YOU for busting on Advent Children. If I hear one more person defend that crap to me in conversation I’m going to…I’m going to…well, really I’m not going to do anything except sit here and slowly leak sanity.

  • Tam Lin

    Oh Jesus jackrabbit Christ, THANK YOU for busting on Advent Children. If I hear one more person defend that crap to me in conversation I’m going to…I’m going to…well, really I’m not going to do anything except sit here and slowly leak sanity.

  • Chris

    Final Fantasy VII was and still is a GREAT game. Of course the graphics have gone out of date, etc. etc. but its still a wonderful story and it was truly ahead of its time in terms of character development and plot twists and such. However, having played it a few times in the past few days, I have to say that it indeed does have its flaws. TONS of Engrish in this game that I never noticed before, Aerith is actually not that interesting (while she’s around), and Barret and Cid are both INTENSELY stereotypical black and Texan stereotypes, respectively.

    HOWEVER, if the game were ever given an update, NOT another mediocre spin-off (with the exception of Crisis Core, which I found pretty good) it could really be a great game by today’s standards, as long as Square Enix doesn’t ruin it by letting Tetsuya Nomura direct. Hiranobu Sacaguchi should direct if a remake were to happen, period. Nomura is NOT a director, he is a fricking CHARACTER ARTIST. Fucks sake, Square.

  • Chris

    Final Fantasy VII was and still is a GREAT game. Of course the graphics have gone out of date, etc. etc. but its still a wonderful story and it was truly ahead of its time in terms of character development and plot twists and such. However, having played it a few times in the past few days, I have to say that it indeed does have its flaws. TONS of Engrish in this game that I never noticed before, Aerith is actually not that interesting (while she’s around), and Barret and Cid are both INTENSELY stereotypical black and Texan stereotypes, respectively.

    HOWEVER, if the game were ever given an update, NOT another mediocre spin-off (with the exception of Crisis Core, which I found pretty good) it could really be a great game by today’s standards, as long as Square Enix doesn’t ruin it by letting Tetsuya Nomura direct. Hiranobu Sacaguchi should direct if a remake were to happen, period. Nomura is NOT a director, he is a fricking CHARACTER ARTIST. Fucks sake, Square.

  • Zachary

    I agree Naruto is just some stupid anime.

  • Zachary

    I agree Naruto is just some stupid anime.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kauYSEOuiPQ&fmt=18 Squall Sucks

    Check the link if video not embeded.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kauYSEOuiPQ&fmt=18 Squall Sucks

    Check the link if video not embeded.

  • Zachary

    Sorry dude but that dude in the suede beat you to it Here is the URL http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatdudeinthesuede/animenia/2501-ffvii-advent-children. I don’t know why it isn’t a hyperlink.

  • Zachary

    Sorry dude but that dude in the suede beat you to it Here is the URL http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatdudeinthesuede/animenia/2501-ffvii-advent-children. I don’t know why it isn’t a hyperlink.

  • October Mermaid

    One of the great things about Matsuno and Final Fantasy Tactics/ FF12 is that it kind of does away with a lot of the stuff that FF7 did to the series. There’s still some wackiness, but it’s more restrained and scales back the conflict. Heck, a lot of the villains are actually somewhat sympathetic and you could even see them as the hero if not for the fact that they kill and hurt a lot of people to achieve their otherwise noble goals.

    That being said, it’s still Final Fantasy, so… you know what to expect. And FF7 was definitely the first type of media that taught me that if I love something, I should NEVER seek out a community of like minded people because they will inevitably make me sad and ashamed by association.

  • October Mermaid

    One of the great things about Matsuno and Final Fantasy Tactics/ FF12 is that it kind of does away with a lot of the stuff that FF7 did to the series. There’s still some wackiness, but it’s more restrained and scales back the conflict. Heck, a lot of the villains are actually somewhat sympathetic and you could even see them as the hero if not for the fact that they kill and hurt a lot of people to achieve their otherwise noble goals.

    That being said, it’s still Final Fantasy, so… you know what to expect. And FF7 was definitely the first type of media that taught me that if I love something, I should NEVER seek out a community of like minded people because they will inevitably make me sad and ashamed by association.

  • Quinn

    Yeah, Evangelion isn’t deep, just kinda knows names and uses them in a bit of a pretentious manner. It kinda knows philosophies and shit, but doesn’t fully understand it, I guess.
    That doesn’t mean it’s not fucking awesome anyways, though.

  • Quinn

    Yeah, Evangelion isn’t deep, just kinda knows names and uses them in a bit of a pretentious manner. It kinda knows philosophies and shit, but doesn’t fully understand it, I guess.
    That doesn’t mean it’s not fucking awesome anyways, though.

  • Miss Kitty Fantastico

    I remember when my friend and I started playing through FFVII and it got to the Drag scene. I usually get a kick out of Drag, but I was IMMENSELY confused at that point and the gay wrestlers didn’t make it any better.

  • Miss Kitty Fantastico

    I remember when my friend and I started playing through FFVII and it got to the Drag scene. I usually get a kick out of Drag, but I was IMMENSELY confused at that point and the gay wrestlers didn’t make it any better.

  • The Norwegian Guy

    Thanks for the fucking maturety alert, you don’t think -maybe- you could have included a spoiler alert too? I’m half way through the game, and I had no idea Caith Sith was a double agent. Had to stop the vid there so you wouldn’t spoil anything else..

  • The Norwegian Guy

    Thanks for the fucking maturety alert, you don’t think -maybe- you could have included a spoiler alert too? I’m half way through the game, and I had no idea Caith Sith was a double agent. Had to stop the vid there so you wouldn’t spoil anything else..

  • McFisticuffs

    I love when people try to defent Final Fantasy VII or VIII by saying “Well, it just hasn’t aged well”. Hey fanboys, you know what two games have barely aged at all? FINAL FANTASY IV AND FINAL FANTASY VI. Solid characters and an intriguing plot don’t “age”, fancy graphics, stereotypical characters, and hardware masturbation does.

  • McFisticuffs

    I love when people try to defent Final Fantasy VII or VIII by saying “Well, it just hasn’t aged well”. Hey fanboys, you know what two games have barely aged at all? FINAL FANTASY IV AND FINAL FANTASY VI. Solid characters and an intriguing plot don’t “age”, fancy graphics, stereotypical characters, and hardware masturbation does.

  • Me

    You can’t be serious, McFisticuffs. None of those games have aged well, you need to loosen up those nostalgia goggles and play IV and VI again. Graphically, these games are a joke nowadays, but this was back when developers didn’t have the luxury of hiding behind pretty graphics and long cut-scenes. You can try to be elitist if you want and hate VII because people didn’t like your precious VI as much as it, but I’ll go ahead and keep playing and enjoying all of them.

  • Me

    You can’t be serious, McFisticuffs. None of those games have aged well, you need to loosen up those nostalgia goggles and play IV and VI again. Graphically, these games are a joke nowadays, but this was back when developers didn’t have the luxury of hiding behind pretty graphics and long cut-scenes. You can try to be elitist if you want and hate VII because people didn’t like your precious VI as much as it, but I’ll go ahead and keep playing and enjoying all of them.

  • Nonesuch

    Spoony man, what’s up with that reaction to FFX-2? Granted it was the only sequel to a FF series to retain the number, but really, it’s like you were watching Tub-Girl live action. And people do yourself a favor and DO NOT look for what the heck I’m talking about. Tub-Girl is not what you want to see. Believe me.

  • Nonesuch

    Spoony man, what’s up with that reaction to FFX-2? Granted it was the only sequel to a FF series to retain the number, but really, it’s like you were watching Tub-Girl live action. And people do yourself a favor and DO NOT look for what the heck I’m talking about. Tub-Girl is not what you want to see. Believe me.

  • Koz

    I agree with McFisticuffs. FF IV (then called II) was my first SNES game after Super Mario World. I still have my original SNES carts and maps (boxes are fubar though), I got the re-releases on PS1, and the GBA ports (along with other SNES re-releass like Breath of Fire II) and they reside alongisde my DS games when I cart my DS around. I have effectively been playing these SNES RPGs on and off since I was 9, all the while following gaming through its generations from NES to SNES to PS1 to N64 to Dreamcast and beyond. They’ve aged just fine, I never have trouble playing them because of the graphics in the same way I have no issues playing Tetris or Galaga because of the graphics. The graphics are fine. And the music is STILL far superior composition-wise and infinitely more memorable than the CD-quality shit we’ve been getting getting.

  • Koz

    I agree with McFisticuffs. FF IV (then called II) was my first SNES game after Super Mario World. I still have my original SNES carts and maps (boxes are fubar though), I got the re-releases on PS1, and the GBA ports (along with other SNES re-releass like Breath of Fire II) and they reside alongisde my DS games when I cart my DS around. I have effectively been playing these SNES RPGs on and off since I was 9, all the while following gaming through its generations from NES to SNES to PS1 to N64 to Dreamcast and beyond. They’ve aged just fine, I never have trouble playing them because of the graphics in the same way I have no issues playing Tetris or Galaga because of the graphics. The graphics are fine. And the music is STILL far superior composition-wise and infinitely more memorable than the CD-quality shit we’ve been getting getting.

  • Kev

    Maybe I missed something, but when did become fashionable to completely rip on FFVII? Even spoony pointed out its strong points. Sure, VI was better, but that doesn’t make VII any worse. I’m no fanboy, but I can appreciate (sic) a good game when I see one, outdated graphics nonwithstanding.

    Its probably the sequels that put you all off… and that’s understandable, but don’t blame the original VII that was clearly a creative and technical triumph for the time.

    Watch, if square enix tries to release a “compilation of FFVI,” fanboys will immediately say that FFVI was “overrated” and that “its characters are the worst.”

  • Kev

    Maybe I missed something, but when did become fashionable to completely rip on FFVII? Even spoony pointed out its strong points. Sure, VI was better, but that doesn’t make VII any worse. I’m no fanboy, but I can appreciate (sic) a good game when I see one, outdated graphics nonwithstanding.

    Its probably the sequels that put you all off… and that’s understandable, but don’t blame the original VII that was clearly a creative and technical triumph for the time.

    Watch, if square enix tries to release a “compilation of FFVI,” fanboys will immediately say that FFVI was “overrated” and that “its characters are the worst.”

  • Kev

    Maybe I missed something, but when did become fashionable to completely rip on FFVII? Even spoony pointed out its strong points. Sure, VI was better, but that doesn’t make VII any worse. I’m no fanboy, but I can appreciate (sic) a good game when I see one, outdated graphics nonwithstanding.

    Its probably the sequels that put you all off… and that’s understandable, but don’t blame the original VII that was clearly a creative and technical triumph for the time.

    Watch, if square enix tries to release a “compilation of FFVI,” fanboys will immediately say that FFVI was “overrated” and that “its characters are the worst.”

  • Lithp

    I’m not going to argue with you on the more arbitrary points of VII, such as the plot (it would take forever) or characters (it doesn’t matter). There’s just 2 things that I really wanted to point out:

    1. They actually do take time to consider the negative consequences of their actions later on, they being AVALANCHE. That’s actually 1 reason I compliment the story. Of COURSE it can be summed up simply, you can do the same thing with Shakespeare. Macbeth: Some guy wants to be king, his wife convinces him to kill people to get there, he starts to go crazy. It’s the little things–like this–that I believe people compliment it for. Also, to clear up the confusion, AVALANCH is not an acronym. WEAPON, SOLDIER, & AVALANCH were written in a different style in the Japanese version, to differentiate them from the homophones (AKA what these words ordinarily mean). The closest thing in English was writing them in ALL CAPS.

    2. Your complaint that Yuffie “isn’t a real ninja” is actually inaccurate. The pictures you used had people wearing what’s called a “shozuku.” The problem is that historically, ninja did not wear this. Stage hands in Japanese plays did. Therefore, ninja in plays did too, so you would not notice them. Yuffie is incompetent, but historically, she has the concept down: She’s a peasant fighting for freedom using dirty tricks, & exotic weapons & traps.

    Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m “butthurt” over this. Honestly, I don’t watch reviews for opinions, I watch them primarily for entertainment. This guy had me in stitches when going on about the crossdressing portion, even though I personally thought that bit was hilarious in the original game. I’m not angry, I’m just anal.

    I think that covers the major bits.

  • Lithp

    I’m not going to argue with you on the more arbitrary points of VII, such as the plot (it would take forever) or characters (it doesn’t matter). There’s just 2 things that I really wanted to point out:

    1. They actually do take time to consider the negative consequences of their actions later on, they being AVALANCHE. That’s actually 1 reason I compliment the story. Of COURSE it can be summed up simply, you can do the same thing with Shakespeare. Macbeth: Some guy wants to be king, his wife convinces him to kill people to get there, he starts to go crazy. It’s the little things–like this–that I believe people compliment it for. Also, to clear up the confusion, AVALANCH is not an acronym. WEAPON, SOLDIER, & AVALANCH were written in a different style in the Japanese version, to differentiate them from the homophones (AKA what these words ordinarily mean). The closest thing in English was writing them in ALL CAPS.

    2. Your complaint that Yuffie “isn’t a real ninja” is actually inaccurate. The pictures you used had people wearing what’s called a “shozuku.” The problem is that historically, ninja did not wear this. Stage hands in Japanese plays did. Therefore, ninja in plays did too, so you would not notice them. Yuffie is incompetent, but historically, she has the concept down: She’s a peasant fighting for freedom using dirty tricks, & exotic weapons & traps.

    Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m “butthurt” over this. Honestly, I don’t watch reviews for opinions, I watch them primarily for entertainment. This guy had me in stitches when going on about the crossdressing portion, even though I personally thought that bit was hilarious in the original game. I’m not angry, I’m just anal.

    I think that covers the major bits.

  • Lithp

    I’m not going to argue with you on the more arbitrary points of VII, such as the plot (it would take forever) or characters (it doesn’t matter). There’s just 2 things that I really wanted to point out:

    1. They actually do take time to consider the negative consequences of their actions later on, they being AVALANCHE. That’s actually 1 reason I compliment the story. Of COURSE it can be summed up simply, you can do the same thing with Shakespeare. Macbeth: Some guy wants to be king, his wife convinces him to kill people to get there, he starts to go crazy. It’s the little things–like this–that I believe people compliment it for. Also, to clear up the confusion, AVALANCH is not an acronym. WEAPON, SOLDIER, & AVALANCH were written in a different style in the Japanese version, to differentiate them from the homophones (AKA what these words ordinarily mean). The closest thing in English was writing them in ALL CAPS.

    2. Your complaint that Yuffie “isn’t a real ninja” is actually inaccurate. The pictures you used had people wearing what’s called a “shozuku.” The problem is that historically, ninja did not wear this. Stage hands in Japanese plays did. Therefore, ninja in plays did too, so you would not notice them. Yuffie is incompetent, but historically, she has the concept down: She’s a peasant fighting for freedom using dirty tricks, & exotic weapons & traps.

    Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m “butthurt” over this. Honestly, I don’t watch reviews for opinions, I watch them primarily for entertainment. This guy had me in stitches when going on about the crossdressing portion, even though I personally thought that bit was hilarious in the original game. I’m not angry, I’m just anal.

    I think that covers the major bits.

  • Carbiner

    OH GOD ITS MILEY CYRUS

  • Carbiner

    OH GOD ITS MILEY CYRUS

  • Carbiner

    OH GOD ITS MILEY CYRUS

  • aloha

    Well so you basically say that the game “Final Fantasy 7″ is responsible for this hentai-porn-crap in the internet? There will always be porn-crap about everyone (female) that appears in games, movies, magazines or any other media. Were these 320*200 pixel-sized, eye-cancer-causing, text-based games really better, because their lack of graphics prevented some dirty porn fantasies? It is a strange logic. OK, I’m being hypocritical because I watch your reviews for entertainment, so they can’t be that bad.

  • aloha

    Well so you basically say that the game “Final Fantasy 7″ is responsible for this hentai-porn-crap in the internet? There will always be porn-crap about everyone (female) that appears in games, movies, magazines or any other media. Were these 320*200 pixel-sized, eye-cancer-causing, text-based games really better, because their lack of graphics prevented some dirty porn fantasies? It is a strange logic. OK, I’m being hypocritical because I watch your reviews for entertainment, so they can’t be that bad.

  • aloha

    Well so you basically say that the game “Final Fantasy 7″ is responsible for this hentai-porn-crap in the internet? There will always be porn-crap about everyone (female) that appears in games, movies, magazines or any other media. Were these 320*200 pixel-sized, eye-cancer-causing, text-based games really better, because their lack of graphics prevented some dirty porn fantasies? It is a strange logic. OK, I’m being hypocritical because I watch your reviews for entertainment, so they can’t be that bad.

  • SS

    Final Fantasy VII is one of my favourite games of all time… and I LOVED this review! Because it’s all so true! Great job Spoony. You’re a brave man for doing this.

  • SS

    Final Fantasy VII is one of my favourite games of all time… and I LOVED this review! Because it’s all so true! Great job Spoony. You’re a brave man for doing this.

  • SS

    Final Fantasy VII is one of my favourite games of all time… and I LOVED this review! Because it’s all so true! Great job Spoony. You’re a brave man for doing this.

  • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

    The ending to this one gets me every time. I think that’s any sane person’s reaction to FFX-2.

  • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

    The ending to this one gets me every time. I think that’s any sane person’s reaction to FFX-2.

  • http://mangapunksai.com Sai

    The ending to this one gets me every time. I think that’s any sane person’s reaction to FFX-2.

  • Shawn

    Did this stuff really happen in FF7? It’s hard to imagine a company including stuff about a man dressing as a woman then having gay sex with several men in a gym.

  • Shawn

    Did this stuff really happen in FF7? It’s hard to imagine a company including stuff about a man dressing as a woman then having gay sex with several men in a gym.

  • Shawn

    Did this stuff really happen in FF7? It’s hard to imagine a company including stuff about a man dressing as a woman then having gay sex with several men in a gym.

  • Anonymous

    I never really got why the fandom of anime and Final Fantasy had to be so weird. I mean, when I go to a video game store (If ever!), I feel like I have to hide my face buying Dissidia: Final Fantasy, mostly because I have gotten weird looks buying video games.

  • Anonymous

    I never really got why the fandom of anime and Final Fantasy had to be so weird. I mean, when I go to a video game store (If ever!), I feel like I have to hide my face buying Dissidia: Final Fantasy, mostly because I have gotten weird looks buying video games.

  • Anonymous

    I never really got why the fandom of anime and Final Fantasy had to be so weird. I mean, when I go to a video game store (If ever!), I feel like I have to hide my face buying Dissidia: Final Fantasy, mostly because I have gotten weird looks buying video games.

  • Red Silvers

    To comment #30

    It was a review about FF7, of course there were going to be spoilers you dumbass.

  • Red Silvers

    To comment #30

    It was a review about FF7, of course there were going to be spoilers you dumbass.

  • Red Silvers

    To comment #30

    It was a review about FF7, of course there were going to be spoilers you dumbass.

  • Leroy

    Final Fantasy may suck, but the futa(hermaphrodite) porn is pretty hot.

  • Leroy

    Final Fantasy may suck, but the futa(hermaphrodite) porn is pretty hot.

  • Leroy

    Final Fantasy may suck, but the futa(hermaphrodite) porn is pretty hot.

  • Mistah J

    Fans claim FF7 is great for roughly 4 reasons:
    1.) Great plot
    2.) Interesting characters
    3.) Heinous villain
    4.) Revolutionary graphics

    Every single one of those reasons is a complete and total lie.

    The plot starts off pretty well, but once the characters leave Midgar everything goes downhill. It turns into just another Saturday morning cartoon where you follow the villain around from place to place, like Mighty Max or Johnny Quest although not nearly as cool as those two. Then there’s those FORCED plot twists, like how Cloud was actually Zack and Tifa knew the whole time. Seriously, “I’m a clone of the ultimate SOLDIER, no I’m not, yes I am, oh I guess I’m really not” is supposed to be deep? Characters go crazy just because of false information (this happens several times). Anyway, you easily kill Sephiroth at the end and then the game just stops. No ending, just credits.

    The characters sucked. You thought FF8 was bad? Well, it is, but that’s b/c FF8 was an overblown version of FF7. The characters have little to no personality (until Crisis Core came out 10 years later), their backgrounds are nothing but tragedy, and they can only feel one type of emotion at best. Cloud: Bland uncaring robot forced to go on a quest to save the world. Tifa: “I’ve got big breasts, I hope Cloud notices me.” Barret: Racist stereotypes. Aeris: Bland flower girl dies. Red XIII: The only good character. Cid: Total hick. Vincent: Another angsty man for the fangirls. Cait Sith: Completely fucking useless. Yuffie: Annoying fanservice for pedophiles who’s also completely fucking useless.

    Sephiroth was a failure. He was played off as a victim even though he really isn’t a victim at all. He went from bland to emo, after misinterpreting his origins of course, then became bland again. He failed in every one of his schemes. Killing Aeris was just a failed plan to stop Holy. His motivations are nothing more than just his mother. He puts up no challenge whatsoever at the end, and his final form is a total rip-off of Kefka’s (who put up one hell of a fight). Seriously, Kefka tortured and killed countless Espers for their magicite, betrayed the empire, murdered his superiors, disobeyed orderds and personally poisoned a kingdom’s water supply killing all but one, forced the slave crown on Terra and made her kill 50 of his own men to prove her loyalty, raised the Floating Continent, ripped the world apart killing millions which also unleashed the 10 legendary beasts from within, became the God of Magic, used the Light of Judgment out of boredom to decimate people and towns who refused to worship him, and ruled the world with power and fear for over a year. Sephiroth made the world live in fear for 3 days.

    FF7′s graphics were not revolutionary either. FF7 came out at the beginning of 1997. Back in 1995, the Sega Saturn released Panzer Dragoon which had excellent fucking graphics (already better than FF7′s) and it only got better a year later with Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. Then, also in 1996, Sonic Team released Nights Into Dreams, ASTOUNDING GRAPHICS, which totally murdered FF7′s graphics a year before its release.

    It’s actually pretty easy to put together why people love FF7 so much. Basically, with the transition to 3D, the confusion of the name change, the console change, and the whole anime style look, new gamers were persuaded to buy their first RPG. That’s pretty much it. FF7 was the first RPG most of its fans ever played which causes them to automatically hold it in higher regard than other games. They refuse to fully enjoy or appreciate the quality of any other RPGs that don’t have that FF7 feel to it. They’ve decided that FF7 is their favorite RPG and will not be convinced otherwise. With the success of all these shitty sequels and spin-offs, like FF8 FFX FF7:AC FF7:DoC, it just goes to show that true quality is no match for rabid fanboyism.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Sheil/594748387 Jamie Sheil

      FF7 is probably my second favourite FF after 9, and I first played it in about 2003, So I’d say I have reasons for liking it other than “rabid fanboyism”. And yeah, Sephiroth is kind of a weak villain in the end, but he provides sufficient menace throughout. And you can argue the saturday morning cartoon element for so many RPG’s, It’s basically a series trope, even for some of the best written ones (although I’ll admit, FF7 isn’t greatly written, especially with the awful translations). What sells it for me is the superb soundtrack, a cast of distinct characters that all have their moments. The combat is simple but good. The materia system provides for a lot of customisation without becoming a massive spreadsheet like FF8. And I enjoyed the graphics and art style, bar the out of combat character models, which I admit were pretty bad, even for the time. And yeah, I enjoyed the plot, sue me.

    • Sir Quaffler

      Man, I hear ya. I almost went out of my way to get FF7 to play it because of all my friends who said it was awesome, then I watched them actually play it and I realized it sucked. It made me wonder if there was any good in the series, but then I discovered the old-school games. Much better in my opinion, particularly FF6.

      Those first 3 reasons you mentioned are the exact reasons I love it so much. I’ve never seen a game as in-depth as this one, there’s a grand total of 14 characters and the game goes to great lengths to flesh out each one of them (well, 12 of them anyways, the last 2 were bonus characters). That all ties in with the superb plot which really connects you with the world at large and the troubles of the people being oppressed. And Kefka is by far the most heinous villain in games I’ve ever seen for exactly the reasons you’ve said.

      Although I can objectively see FF7 as the overblown mess that it is, I can still understand why some people like it so much. Hell, my first RPG (aside from Pokemon, but that’s sorta its own genre altogether) was Chrono Trigger, and it holds a very special place in my mind. While I am open to any criticism other people may point out about it, I myself am hard-pressed to find anything really wrong with it,

  • Mistah J

    Fans claim FF7 is great for roughly 4 reasons:
    1.) Great plot
    2.) Interesting characters
    3.) Heinous villain
    4.) Revolutionary graphics

    Every single one of those reasons is a complete and total lie.

    The plot starts off pretty well, but once the characters leave Midgar everything goes downhill. It turns into just another Saturday morning cartoon where you follow the villain around from place to place, like Mighty Max or Johnny Quest although not nearly as cool as those two. Then there’s those FORCED plot twists, like how Cloud was actually Zack and Tifa knew the whole time. Seriously, “I’m a clone of the ultimate SOLDIER, no I’m not, yes I am, oh I guess I’m really not” is supposed to be deep? Characters go crazy just because of false information (this happens several times). Anyway, you easily kill Sephiroth at the end and then the game just stops. No ending, just credits.

    The characters sucked. You thought FF8 was bad? Well, it is, but that’s b/c FF8 was an overblown version of FF7. The characters have little to no personality (until Crisis Core came out 10 years later), their backgrounds are nothing but tragedy, and they can only feel one type of emotion at best. Cloud: Bland uncaring robot forced to go on a quest to save the world. Tifa: “I’ve got big breasts, I hope Cloud notices me.” Barret: Racist stereotypes. Aeris: Bland flower girl dies. Red XIII: The only good character. Cid: Total hick. Vincent: Another angsty man for the fangirls. Cait Sith: Completely fucking useless. Yuffie: Annoying fanservice for pedophiles who’s also completely fucking useless.

    Sephiroth was a failure. He was played off as a victim even though he really isn’t a victim at all. He went from bland to emo, after misinterpreting his origins of course, then became bland again. He failed in every one of his schemes. Killing Aeris was just a failed plan to stop Holy. His motivations are nothing more than just his mother. He puts up no challenge whatsoever at the end, and his final form is a total rip-off of Kefka’s (who put up one hell of a fight). Seriously, Kefka tortured and killed countless Espers for their magicite, betrayed the empire, murdered his superiors, disobeyed orderds and personally poisoned a kingdom’s water supply killing all but one, forced the slave crown on Terra and made her kill 50 of his own men to prove her loyalty, raised the Floating Continent, ripped the world apart killing millions which also unleashed the 10 legendary beasts from within, became the God of Magic, used the Light of Judgment out of boredom to decimate people and towns who refused to worship him, and ruled the world with power and fear for over a year. Sephiroth made the world live in fear for 3 days.

    FF7′s graphics were not revolutionary either. FF7 came out at the beginning of 1997. Back in 1995, the Sega Saturn released Panzer Dragoon which had excellent fucking graphics (already better than FF7′s) and it only got better a year later with Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. Then, also in 1996, Sonic Team released Nights Into Dreams, ASTOUNDING GRAPHICS, which totally murdered FF7′s graphics a year before its release.

    It’s actually pretty easy to put together why people love FF7 so much. Basically, with the transition to 3D, the confusion of the name change, the console change, and the whole anime style look, new gamers were persuaded to buy their first RPG. That’s pretty much it. FF7 was the first RPG most of its fans ever played which causes them to automatically hold it in higher regard than other games. They refuse to fully enjoy or appreciate the quality of any other RPGs that don’t have that FF7 feel to it. They’ve decided that FF7 is their favorite RPG and will not be convinced otherwise. With the success of all these shitty sequels and spin-offs, like FF8 FFX FF7:AC FF7:DoC, it just goes to show that true quality is no match for rabid fanboyism.

  • Mistah J

    Fans claim FF7 is great for roughly 4 reasons:
    1.) Great plot
    2.) Interesting characters
    3.) Heinous villain
    4.) Revolutionary graphics

    Every single one of those reasons is a complete and total lie.

    The plot starts off pretty well, but once the characters leave Midgar everything goes downhill. It turns into just another Saturday morning cartoon where you follow the villain around from place to place, like Mighty Max or Johnny Quest although not nearly as cool as those two. Then there’s those FORCED plot twists, like how Cloud was actually Zack and Tifa knew the whole time. Seriously, “I’m a clone of the ultimate SOLDIER, no I’m not, yes I am, oh I guess I’m really not” is supposed to be deep? Characters go crazy just because of false information (this happens several times). Anyway, you easily kill Sephiroth at the end and then the game just stops. No ending, just credits.

    The characters sucked. You thought FF8 was bad? Well, it is, but that’s b/c FF8 was an overblown version of FF7. The characters have little to no personality (until Crisis Core came out 10 years later), their backgrounds are nothing but tragedy, and they can only feel one type of emotion at best. Cloud: Bland uncaring robot forced to go on a quest to save the world. Tifa: “I’ve got big breasts, I hope Cloud notices me.” Barret: Racist stereotypes. Aeris: Bland flower girl dies. Red XIII: The only good character. Cid: Total hick. Vincent: Another angsty man for the fangirls. Cait Sith: Completely fucking useless. Yuffie: Annoying fanservice for pedophiles who’s also completely fucking useless.

    Sephiroth was a failure. He was played off as a victim even though he really isn’t a victim at all. He went from bland to emo, after misinterpreting his origins of course, then became bland again. He failed in every one of his schemes. Killing Aeris was just a failed plan to stop Holy. His motivations are nothing more than just his mother. He puts up no challenge whatsoever at the end, and his final form is a total rip-off of Kefka’s (who put up one hell of a fight). Seriously, Kefka tortured and killed countless Espers for their magicite, betrayed the empire, murdered his superiors, disobeyed orderds and personally poisoned a kingdom’s water supply killing all but one, forced the slave crown on Terra and made her kill 50 of his own men to prove her loyalty, raised the Floating Continent, ripped the world apart killing millions which also unleashed the 10 legendary beasts from within, became the God of Magic, used the Light of Judgment out of boredom to decimate people and towns who refused to worship him, and ruled the world with power and fear for over a year. Sephiroth made the world live in fear for 3 days.

    FF7′s graphics were not revolutionary either. FF7 came out at the beginning of 1997. Back in 1995, the Sega Saturn released Panzer Dragoon which had excellent fucking graphics (already better than FF7′s) and it only got better a year later with Panzer Dragoon II: Zwei. Then, also in 1996, Sonic Team released Nights Into Dreams, ASTOUNDING GRAPHICS, which totally murdered FF7′s graphics a year before its release.

    It’s actually pretty easy to put together why people love FF7 so much. Basically, with the transition to 3D, the confusion of the name change, the console change, and the whole anime style look, new gamers were persuaded to buy their first RPG. That’s pretty much it. FF7 was the first RPG most of its fans ever played which causes them to automatically hold it in higher regard than other games. They refuse to fully enjoy or appreciate the quality of any other RPGs that don’t have that FF7 feel to it. They’ve decided that FF7 is their favorite RPG and will not be convinced otherwise. With the success of all these shitty sequels and spin-offs, like FF8 FFX FF7:AC FF7:DoC, it just goes to show that true quality is no match for rabid fanboyism.

  • Topher Blair

    Loved the FF6 part. That was truly the best game in the series IMO.

  • Topher Blair

    Loved the FF6 part. That was truly the best game in the series IMO.

  • Topher Blair

    Loved the FF6 part. That was truly the best game in the series IMO.

  • Red Conine

    Okay, I have a theory about the insane religious fan base for FFVII.

    I believe that most people, your first introduction to something usually becomes your favorite of said thing.
    David Tennant is my favorite doctor on Doctor Who.
    FFX is my favorite FF game.
    Both were my first introduction to each things.

    Perhaps so many people hot hooked into FFVII when it first came out and it was so amazing when it first came out, they can’t help but feel that feeling of finding something epic and refuse to believe otherwise. A small gem that has tarnished with age but so many people are blinded my their nostalgia, they still feel that nothing can do better what FFVII because nothing to replicate the feeling they had when they played FFVII for the first time.

    Just a thought.

  • Red Conine

    Okay, I have a theory about the insane religious fan base for FFVII.

    I believe that most people, your first introduction to something usually becomes your favorite of said thing.
    David Tennant is my favorite doctor on Doctor Who.
    FFX is my favorite FF game.
    Both were my first introduction to each things.

    Perhaps so many people hot hooked into FFVII when it first came out and it was so amazing when it first came out, they can’t help but feel that feeling of finding something epic and refuse to believe otherwise. A small gem that has tarnished with age but so many people are blinded my their nostalgia, they still feel that nothing can do better what FFVII because nothing to replicate the feeling they had when they played FFVII for the first time.

    Just a thought.

  • Red Conine

    Okay, I have a theory about the insane religious fan base for FFVII.

    I believe that most people, your first introduction to something usually becomes your favorite of said thing.
    David Tennant is my favorite doctor on Doctor Who.
    FFX is my favorite FF game.
    Both were my first introduction to each things.

    Perhaps so many people hot hooked into FFVII when it first came out and it was so amazing when it first came out, they can’t help but feel that feeling of finding something epic and refuse to believe otherwise. A small gem that has tarnished with age but so many people are blinded my their nostalgia, they still feel that nothing can do better what FFVII because nothing to replicate the feeling they had when they played FFVII for the first time.

    Just a thought.

  • Silk

    Spirits within failed because it was set on Earth and not the Final Fantasy Universe…

    And >< WTF Dissing FF7 and Evangelin in the same review so not cool.

  • Silk

    Spirits within failed because it was set on Earth and not the Final Fantasy Universe…

    And >< WTF Dissing FF7 and Evangelin in the same review so not cool.

  • Silk

    Spirits within failed because it was set on Earth and not the Final Fantasy Universe…

    And >< WTF Dissing FF7 and Evangelin in the same review so not cool.

  • PowerBar

    OK i have to say that I’m rly surprised.
    when i saw the review i was like, *wow mocking ff7, is gonna get bashed by the fan boys!” i saw the reviews and i was totally wrong! no fan boys complaining only thinking it was funny, but the haters!! omg so many ff7 haters i never imagined there were so many!!!

    this was so funny since all i hear is FF7 is god, FF7 is the best game ever. but so many haters and most of them are even more obnoxious than the Fan boys.
    haters and fan boys are like ying and yang, fan only say what is great and embellish the wrong, haters only say whats wrong and bash the good.
    and i agree with you Noah, cosplay is so weird and i rly don’t understand it. but its every one personal choice.

    bottom line, i liked ff7, i didn’t ff8, i loved ff9, i liked ff10 (10-2 i don’t count as a FF but i played it), ff11 is online and he no thnx, and ff12 was the absolute worse.

    i call my self a FF lover, and i cant wait for FF12.

    Spoony you are THE man.

    if u need to get laid, i will pay for a ….. for you =P

  • PowerBar

    OK i have to say that I’m rly surprised.
    when i saw the review i was like, *wow mocking ff7, is gonna get bashed by the fan boys!” i saw the reviews and i was totally wrong! no fan boys complaining only thinking it was funny, but the haters!! omg so many ff7 haters i never imagined there were so many!!!

    this was so funny since all i hear is FF7 is god, FF7 is the best game ever. but so many haters and most of them are even more obnoxious than the Fan boys.
    haters and fan boys are like ying and yang, fan only say what is great and embellish the wrong, haters only say whats wrong and bash the good.
    and i agree with you Noah, cosplay is so weird and i rly don’t understand it. but its every one personal choice.

    bottom line, i liked ff7, i didn’t ff8, i loved ff9, i liked ff10 (10-2 i don’t count as a FF but i played it), ff11 is online and he no thnx, and ff12 was the absolute worse.

    i call my self a FF lover, and i cant wait for FF12.

    Spoony you are THE man.

    if u need to get laid, i will pay for a ….. for you =P

  • PowerBar

    OK i have to say that I’m rly surprised.
    when i saw the review i was like, *wow mocking ff7, is gonna get bashed by the fan boys!” i saw the reviews and i was totally wrong! no fan boys complaining only thinking it was funny, but the haters!! omg so many ff7 haters i never imagined there were so many!!!

    this was so funny since all i hear is FF7 is god, FF7 is the best game ever. but so many haters and most of them are even more obnoxious than the Fan boys.
    haters and fan boys are like ying and yang, fan only say what is great and embellish the wrong, haters only say whats wrong and bash the good.
    and i agree with you Noah, cosplay is so weird and i rly don’t understand it. but its every one personal choice.

    bottom line, i liked ff7, i didn’t ff8, i loved ff9, i liked ff10 (10-2 i don’t count as a FF but i played it), ff11 is online and he no thnx, and ff12 was the absolute worse.

    i call my self a FF lover, and i cant wait for FF12.

    Spoony you are THE man.

    if u need to get laid, i will pay for a ….. for you =P

  • PowerBar

    ho and i think cosplayers are weird, but there are some exceptions. i wanted to see this (http://www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/rikku2.jpg) and tell me its not hot :P

  • PowerBar

    ho and i think cosplayers are weird, but there are some exceptions. i wanted to see this (http://www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/rikku2.jpg) and tell me its not hot :P

  • PowerBar

    ho and i think cosplayers are weird, but there are some exceptions. i wanted to see this (http://www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/rikku2.jpg) and tell me its not hot :P

  • armass

    Love ur reaction in the end Spoony, Exactly like mine when I think about that putrid game. AAAAAAGGHH!!!

  • armass

    Love ur reaction in the end Spoony, Exactly like mine when I think about that putrid game. AAAAAAGGHH!!!

  • armass

    Love ur reaction in the end Spoony, Exactly like mine when I think about that putrid game. AAAAAAGGHH!!!

  • gadaboutgirl

    Thank you for agreeing that Naruto is not a ninja. Orange jumpsuit = FAIL STEALTH. I dislike that show with great intensity. Oh, and I’m also gonna go back to blocking that Don Corneo bit; I suppressed it for a reason. >_<

    The torture you endure for us, Spoony. We love you so much for it. =)

  • gadaboutgirl

    Thank you for agreeing that Naruto is not a ninja. Orange jumpsuit = FAIL STEALTH. I dislike that show with great intensity. Oh, and I’m also gonna go back to blocking that Don Corneo bit; I suppressed it for a reason. >_<

    The torture you endure for us, Spoony. We love you so much for it. =)

  • gadaboutgirl

    Thank you for agreeing that Naruto is not a ninja. Orange jumpsuit = FAIL STEALTH. I dislike that show with great intensity. Oh, and I’m also gonna go back to blocking that Don Corneo bit; I suppressed it for a reason. >_<

    The torture you endure for us, Spoony. We love you so much for it. =)

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan LiK

    forgot how disturbing the whole Cloud cross-dressing stuff were. i can’t believe they actually got way with all that, lol

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan LiK

    forgot how disturbing the whole Cloud cross-dressing stuff were. i can’t believe they actually got way with all that, lol

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan LiK

    forgot how disturbing the whole Cloud cross-dressing stuff were. i can’t believe they actually got way with all that, lol

  • BrUS

    I downloaded the FFVII PSN version and I was amazingly surprised about how good it was. The story was good and I liked the gameplay so much better, than say, Pokémon.

    The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, actually. I know about Advent Children and that stuff but c’mon… That wasn’t a proper ending. I was like: “What happened to the rest of the people except RedXIII?” It was just the same with Infamous; you didn’t learn what happened to all the characters – which was disappointing – and the wrap-up scene wasn’t all that original.

    Although, FFVII was, and is, a great game.

  • BrUS

    I downloaded the FFVII PSN version and I was amazingly surprised about how good it was. The story was good and I liked the gameplay so much better, than say, Pokémon.

    The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, actually. I know about Advent Children and that stuff but c’mon… That wasn’t a proper ending. I was like: “What happened to the rest of the people except RedXIII?” It was just the same with Infamous; you didn’t learn what happened to all the characters – which was disappointing – and the wrap-up scene wasn’t all that original.

    Although, FFVII was, and is, a great game.

  • D.W.

    Dressing up cloud was the best thing ever. I love being gang-banged by cornero and his thugs, sucks I couldn’t stay that way through out the game.

  • D.W.

    Dressing up cloud was the best thing ever. I love being gang-banged by cornero and his thugs, sucks I couldn’t stay that way through out the game.

  • D.W.

    Dressing up cloud was the best thing ever. I love being gang-banged by cornero and his thugs, sucks I couldn’t stay that way through out the game.

  • http://www.youtube.com/ Arbitor365

    FFVII is the most overrated piece of shit of all time. It sickens me. fuck FFVII

  • http://www.youtube.com/ Arbitor365

    FFVII is the most overrated piece of shit of all time. It sickens me. fuck FFVII

  • http://www.youtube.com Arbitor365

    FFVII is the most overrated piece of shit of all time. It sickens me. fuck FFVII

  • DarkSeason

    Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!

  • DarkSeason

    Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!

  • DarkSeason

    Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!

  • Dustin

    I know this video has been on for a long time, but I had to comment…

    “This is a ninja. THIS is a ninja! Even THIS is a ninja! This… is a character from Poke’mon!

  • Dustin

    I know this video has been on for a long time, but I had to comment…

    “This is a ninja. THIS is a ninja! Even THIS is a ninja! This… is a character from Poke’mon!

  • Dustin

    I know this video has been on for a long time, but I had to comment…

    “This is a ninja. THIS is a ninja! Even THIS is a ninja! This… is a character from Poke’mon!

  • BJB Digital

    Love this review, It’s one of my TSE Favorites. However I think I would count about 75% of your reviews as my favorites, if that even makes sense. I really hope that viewer backlash is not nearly as rabid, and common as you allude to. If it is an accurate representation I would be pissed off enough to pull off a “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” fanboy beat down, so I can only imagine how peeved you become.Considering the fact that a person who has always loathed the entire FF series like myself could identify your sarcasm here, but people who believe it is a certifiable classic could not is fucking ridiculous. Keep up the great work Spoony!

  • BJB Digital

    Love this review, It’s one of my TSE Favorites. However I think I would count about 75% of your reviews as my favorites, if that even makes sense. I really hope that viewer backlash is not nearly as rabid, and common as you allude to. If it is an accurate representation I would be pissed off enough to pull off a “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” fanboy beat down, so I can only imagine how peeved you become.Considering the fact that a person who has always loathed the entire FF series like myself could identify your sarcasm here, but people who believe it is a certifiable classic could not is fucking ridiculous. Keep up the great work Spoony!

  • BJB Digital

    Love this review, It’s one of my TSE Favorites. However I think I would count about 75% of your reviews as my favorites, if that even makes sense. I really hope that viewer backlash is not nearly as rabid, and common as you allude to. If it is an accurate representation I would be pissed off enough to pull off a “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” fanboy beat down, so I can only imagine how peeved you become.Considering the fact that a person who has always loathed the entire FF series like myself could identify your sarcasm here, but people who believe it is a certifiable classic could not is fucking ridiculous. Keep up the great work Spoony!

  • BJB Digital

    ” Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!”

    @ DarkSeason October 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

    While I have never beaten FF7 I don’t believe I have ever heard anything about a “Smurf sex scene” . Come to think of it I’m not sure any Smurfs were in there at all.

    ( Sorry couldn’t help myself) ; )

  • BJB Digital

    ” Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!”

    @ DarkSeason October 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

    While I have never beaten FF7 I don’t believe I have ever heard anything about a “Smurf sex scene” . Come to think of it I’m not sure any Smurfs were in there at all.

    ( Sorry couldn’t help myself) ; )

  • BJB Digital

    ” Woah, was there really a smex scene in Final Fantasy 7?!”

    @ DarkSeason October 17, 2009 at 5:25 am

    While I have never beaten FF7 I don’t believe I have ever heard anything about a “Smurf sex scene” . Come to think of it I’m not sure any Smurfs were in there at all.

    ( Sorry couldn’t help myself) ; )

  • The Evrant Knight

    have you got something against FFX-2. and no i’m not saying it was a brilliant piece of gaming but it was enjoyable.

  • The Evrant Knight

    have you got something against FFX-2. and no i’m not saying it was a brilliant piece of gaming but it was enjoyable.

  • The Evrant Knight

    have you got something against FFX-2. and no i’m not saying it was a brilliant piece of gaming but it was enjoyable.

  • Chris K

    I can argue how most of the stuff you said about FF7 is wrong and your being a jerk, but it’s not worth my time. Honestly to each his own, and i liked FF7. I won’t be getting dressed up as any of the characters..I might look at a little of the porn :p, but I did enjoy this game. I hope you really did too and are not just trying to be funny.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus

      He is only trying to be funny.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus

      He is only trying to be funny.

  • Chris K

    I can argue how most of the stuff you said about FF7 is wrong and your being a jerk, but it’s not worth my time. Honestly to each his own, and i liked FF7. I won’t be getting dressed up as any of the characters..I might look at a little of the porn :p, but I did enjoy this game. I hope you really did too and are not just trying to be funny.

  • Chris K

    I can argue how most of the stuff you said about FF7 is wrong and your being a jerk, but it’s not worth my time. Honestly to each his own, and i liked FF7. I won’t be getting dressed up as any of the characters..I might look at a little of the porn :p, but I did enjoy this game. I hope you really did too and are not just trying to be funny.

  • Trocadero

    Well, those concepts of ninjas were all made up by Hollywood. A real ninja hides in plain sight, so to speak. I’m sure some dressed in black clothes to strike at night, but ninjas were assassins who blended in instead of blatantly screaming “I’m not supposed to be here!”

    There are a few enjoyable places in FF7, and I loved it when I was a kid. Now I think it sucks, though the music is still amazing in my opinion. I have friends who insist you could carry a weapon like that with enough training, but seriously, just look at his arms.

    @ Chris K: Man, nice way of shooting yourself in the foot. First you say he is wrong, then you say to each his own?

  • Trocadero

    Well, those concepts of ninjas were all made up by Hollywood. A real ninja hides in plain sight, so to speak. I’m sure some dressed in black clothes to strike at night, but ninjas were assassins who blended in instead of blatantly screaming “I’m not supposed to be here!”

    There are a few enjoyable places in FF7, and I loved it when I was a kid. Now I think it sucks, though the music is still amazing in my opinion. I have friends who insist you could carry a weapon like that with enough training, but seriously, just look at his arms.

    @ Chris K: Man, nice way of shooting yourself in the foot. First you say he is wrong, then you say to each his own?

  • Jeremy

    HEY!!! I liked NGE.

  • Jeremy

    HEY!!! I liked NGE.

  • Jeremy

    HEY!!! I liked NGE.

  • Ophelia

    LoL
    But hey, I know you like to piss off fanboys but what about the poor fangirls?
    Ya like to hurt smal fangirls?

    Buuut, your opinion is nit mine. Spoony, you OWNES the INTERNET!!!!!!!

  • Ophelia

    LoL
    But hey, I know you like to piss off fanboys but what about the poor fangirls?
    Ya like to hurt smal fangirls?

    Buuut, your opinion is nit mine. Spoony, you OWNES the INTERNET!!!!!!!

  • Ophelia

    LoL
    But hey, I know you like to piss off fanboys but what about the poor fangirls?
    Ya like to hurt smal fangirls?

    Buuut, your opinion is nit mine. Spoony, you OWNES the INTERNET!!!!!!!

  • brad

    i’ll admit i did buy a psp on launch, a few mounts later it dropped ONE FOOT and wouldn’t turn back on, I sent it back and got a new one that had screen problems, skipped the 2000 and bought the next one, which i hope still works I have picked it up since the week i got it and now theirs completely changed it with the pspgo, and i just gave up and bought a iphone, which has dropped a ton of times, on concrete and is the same but for a few scratches on the back.
    and imo has better games since you can get NES, C64, Genesis/Megadrive and SNES emulators all for about 10 dollars.

  • brad

    i’ll admit i did buy a psp on launch, a few mounts later it dropped ONE FOOT and wouldn’t turn back on, I sent it back and got a new one that had screen problems, skipped the 2000 and bought the next one, which i hope still works I have picked it up since the week i got it and now theirs completely changed it with the pspgo, and i just gave up and bought a iphone, which has dropped a ton of times, on concrete and is the same but for a few scratches on the back.
    and imo has better games since you can get NES, C64, Genesis/Megadrive and SNES emulators all for about 10 dollars.

  • brad

    i’ll admit i did buy a psp on launch, a few mounts later it dropped ONE FOOT and wouldn’t turn back on, I sent it back and got a new one that had screen problems, skipped the 2000 and bought the next one, which i hope still works I have picked it up since the week i got it and now theirs completely changed it with the pspgo, and i just gave up and bought a iphone, which has dropped a ton of times, on concrete and is the same but for a few scratches on the back.
    and imo has better games since you can get NES, C64, Genesis/Megadrive and SNES emulators all for about 10 dollars.

  • Garth’s Brownie Girl

    YES! THANK YOU! You insulted just about every one of my friends in this, but I agree completely. Everything you mentioned had always bothered me when my friends would talk about them. This was hilarious! Great job Noah!

  • Garth’s Brownie Girl

    YES! THANK YOU! You insulted just about every one of my friends in this, but I agree completely. Everything you mentioned had always bothered me when my friends would talk about them. This was hilarious! Great job Noah!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Antti-Saarenpaa/1110866050 Antti Saarenpää

    Gotta say u nailed the FF3/6 opera event totally, so true ^.^

  • ultimate_evil

    i love FF7 it was my first real rpg outside of link to the past, but you hit the nail on the head. great game btu seriously fucked up fanboys. i once had a commission for a sketch of aerith but turned it down after the sick crap the guy wanted me to draw.

    it's got to the stage that i have to explain to people at times i like the game and the game only. though i did enjoy advent just as dumb fun it just isn't in no way the masterpiece others have tried to promote it as

  • ultimate_evil

    i love FF7 it was my first real rpg outside of link to the past, but you hit the nail on the head. great game btu seriously fucked up fanboys. i once had a commission for a sketch of aerith but turned it down after the sick crap the guy wanted me to draw.

    it's got to the stage that i have to explain to people at times i like the game and the game only. though i did enjoy advent just as dumb fun it just isn't in no way the masterpiece others have tried to promote it as

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamal-Prewitt/1012200418 Jamal Prewitt

    Spoony does have a valid point. Naruto ain't a ninja, FFVII's story ain't exactly as unique as people claim, and Otaku + Anime + Video Games = Really weird porn. I love Noah's honesty… and his reactions. LOL at the ending. AAAAGGGGHHH!!!!

  • big_isaac

    oh come on, X-2 wasn't that bad xD
    I agree with the cross dressing, though. What in the world was the point of that? Did we realy have to deal with a pimp and dress the main character up like a girl?

  • Poipoi

    Ah yes… Turning Cloud into a girlie man in a dress was one of the many parts I loved.

    I always saw Yuffie more as a pet who steals things from you.

  • SyKhotic

    …and here I thought being an otaku was just liking anime…it's a good thing I haven't been running around the streets shouting my “anime-liking-status.” I wonder what just liking anime would be called.

    Also…wtf is up with the guy dressed up as Sailor Moon? Seriously….what the fuck!? That's just….WRONG! Say no to cosplay, kids….it's CREEPY! I seriously don't do any of that weird pron shit…that's just weird!

    Thank you, Spoony, for opening up my inner belief of how the world of liking anime works….and I swear to god, I sure hope there aren't any of those cosplay conventions where I live!

  • whatnopie

    we has a problem spoony! D=

    it doesnt work for me after 33 seconds.. same on tgwtg =[

  • pawcanada84

    I couldn't agree more. I actually LIKE the universally hated Clone Saga as it was the first Spidey/comic story arc I EVER read. Had I have jumped on with say Kraven's Last Hunt (ignoring the fact I would have been three years old when it came out) I'd probably be singing a different tune. No matter how the opinion may change with age and you sample other games/comics/films/books/tv shows/whatever, the first of anything will always been seen a degree of rose tinted glasses, and may be used as a bench mark.

  • Necromas

    Oh my god that porn….

    *pukes*

  • Ronin_the_Silent

    Damn… Quistis really CAN multitask…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vik-Nik/864340583 Vik Nik

    looks like the jokes on you spoony, gran turismo never came out for psp!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/NukeMouse Alexander Close

    Ah final fantasy X-2, was there really any reason to do anything other than just spam rikku's mecha chocobo thing?

  • http://twitter.com/BROOKLYNRAGE80 Omar Jordan Gobere

    i don't hate final fantasy X-2 or anything and i like yuna and all….but something about that game just makes me cringe

  • http://twitter.com/BROOKLYNRAGE80 Omar Jordan Gobere

    looks like the jokes on you because gran turismo DID come out for psp

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gareth-Williams/1043431357 Gareth Williams

    Rename Yuna's pet to “Crap”, and then spam the newly named move “Holy Crap”?

  • mobtank

    Dude, this is so not how the “world of liking anime” works.
    Most people who like anime are perfectly normal people who can be called anime-fans (if they need a title), the so called otakus are complete no-lifers who basically live in their own world with their own rules and values.

    Liking anime is completely normal (since there are a lot of really good ones) and it doesn't make you an otaku.
    I'm a big anime fan with a big library of it and I'm pretty much a perfectly normal guy who simply likes to watch it to relax and have fun when I'm not working or doing something else (also because TV basically sucks the majority of the time where I live, Sweden).

    Regarding the porn, yes there is a lot of shitty and creepy stuff to be found there, but there do exist some doujin artists who actually make good stuff based on their favourite series, even non-porn stories that are really worthwhile.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7ZFZYQHO6RIBGRKEP7M4LJWXMY Katie

      “the so called otakus are complete no-lifers who basically live in their own world with their own rules and values”
      Sry but being an Otaku is not being a no life.
      “In modern Japanese slang, the term otaku refers to a fan of any particular theme, topic, or hobby.”
      If someone like Halo and is an expert or a gaylotard (being fanboys ) at Halo then hes an Halo Otaku =o!?!?!
      Anyways, Lemme tell you I am an otaku, I do Cosplay…at times…not a lot cuz I dun wanna buy them and I suck at sewing =__=;
      And Dude, I have a life: I work, I study, I hang out/ drink/ smoke shisha (cuz I dun smake cigs or pot =o) and I have my fun and I have more then just Otaku friends.
      So basically all you’ve been saying is pretty much, stereotypes, not that I care much.
      But I will admit that they’re are weird/ obsessed people, like FUCKED UP, CRAZY. NUTS Otaku that will actually scare the shit outta you. But not all of em are like that. I know I ain’t. anywyas, just saying!

      • Anonymous

        I apologise if i offended you, I simply had an understanding of what the term “otaku” meant that was inaccurate.

        I was only trying to say pretty much what you said, that the screwed up wierdoes are a minority and that almost all anime fans are perfectly normal people.
        I strongly support cosplay by the way, as I think it is something that is a lot of fun and allows people to express themselves in a way that is not always easy to do (just wish we had more of it where I live :P).

      • Anonymous

        I apologise if i offended you, I simply had an understanding of what the term “otaku” meant that was inaccurate.

        I was only trying to say pretty much what you said, that the screwed up wierdoes are a minority and that almost all anime fans are perfectly normal people.
        I strongly support cosplay by the way, as I think it is something that is a lot of fun and allows people to express themselves in a way that is not always easy to do (just wish we had more of it where I live :P).

      • Anonymous

        I apologise if i offended you, I simply had an understanding of what the term “otaku” meant that was inaccurate.

        I was only trying to say pretty much what you said, that the screwed up wierdoes are a minority and that almost all anime fans are perfectly normal people.
        I strongly support cosplay by the way, as I think it is something that is a lot of fun and allows people to express themselves in a way that is not always easy to do (just wish we had more of it where I live :P).

  • http://twitter.com/KaiLeingod John Spearing

    SNARK!

  • http://www.facebook.com/MadOvid Jesse Astle

    Duct tape? Wouldn't that really, really hurt taking it off?

    Also, I'm sorry. But when people complain that the Spirits Within had nothing to do with the game I have to ask… WHICH GAME?!! At this point there was ten separate FF games each with their own plot, world, and characters. And I would say that putting aside its many flaws, it probably has more to do with the philosophy and 'spirituality' of Final Fantasy VII than the actual Final Fantasy VII movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    I'm kinda shocked. Though 7 is a great game, it has its flaws… well, it has one glaring flaw that you didn't mention, even if you were just fucking around.
    MIDGAR!!!
    The only thing that keeps me from replaying that game is that I don't want to put up with fucking Midgar again… EVER. If you were gonna tear FF7 a new asshole, you should have brought that up. The whole first disc after the opening is needlessly padded.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    I’m kinda shocked. Though 7 is a great game, it has its flaws… well, it has one glaring flaw that you didn’t mention, even if you were just fucking around.
    MIDGAR!!!
    The only thing that keeps me from replaying that game is that I don’t want to put up with fucking Midgar again… EVER. If you were gonna tear FF7 a new asshole, you should have brought that up. The whole first disc after the opening is needlessly padded.

  • Anonymous

    Hehe… when I played FF7 I exclusively used the vampire, the talking tiger, and the robot thing.

    I’m not kidding. I freaking loved those guys. And of course, I used cheats to master Knights Of the Round and Demi early on and just fucking broke that game in two (on the psp no less (yep, psp fan… as long as you can rig it with a pandora battery and a magic memory stick to play pretty much every game and video on the planet)). It was awesome.

    Ahhh good times… and then FF8 and FF10 came along… I may go cry now.

    Also YOU DIE 300X PSPs! YOU FUCKING BURN IN HELL, SONY!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shane-Stephenson/1381510872 Shane Stephenson

    Ugh, that X-2 opening scene.

    News flash, Square: if I wanted to watch a Britney Spears video, I’d watch a Britney Spears video, not play a video game.

    • http://www.facebook.com/mpawlakzyrardow Michał Pawlak

      Why would you want to watch a Britney Spears video !?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shane-Stephenson/1381510872 Shane Stephenson

    Ugh, that X-2 opening scene.

    News flash, Square: if I wanted to watch a Britney Spears video, I’d watch a Britney Spears video, not play a video game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shane-Stephenson/1381510872 Shane Stephenson

    Ugh, that X-2 opening scene.

    News flash, Square: if I wanted to watch a Britney Spears video, I’d watch a Britney Spears video, not play a video game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brett-Middleton/999994085 Brett Middleton

    Fuck Final fantasy 8, Final Fantasy X-2…don’t even get me started on that steaming pile of shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Forse/100000931501480 Sam Forse

    i hate theses guy from the games they get all the girls and pay no attention to them if i was one of them i would be getting laid nightly

    also buttsecks hehehehe proves clouds gay

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Forse/100000931501480 Sam Forse

    i hate theses guy from the games they get all the girls and pay no attention to them if i was one of them i would be getting laid nightly

    also buttsecks hehehehe proves clouds gay

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Forse/100000931501480 Sam Forse

    i’ve played a few final fantasy games in my time and 10 was the worst the sphere grid was retarded the game gets boring after 2 hours of the blue haired assholes super form killing me again and again so i sold it before completing it im going to review it myself someday and will never play it again
    also i watch some anime just when I’m bored

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Forse/100000931501480 Sam Forse

    i’ve played a few final fantasy games in my time and 10 was the worst the sphere grid was retarded the game gets boring after 2 hours of the blue haired assholes super form killing me again and again so i sold it before completing it im going to review it myself someday and will never play it again
    also i watch some anime just when I’m bored

  • http://www.facebook.com/moobyghost Sean Ward

    Wow, I thought I was the only wuss who cried at the opera scene in FFVI (my fav FF game by the way)

  • http://furlugedepot.com/ Furluge

    There is a very good reason that FF7 wasGamespy’s #7 Most Overrated Game of All Time out of a list of 25. It’s more overrated than Halo on the list. Now, FF7 isn’t the worst game ever, it’s not even a bad game. It’s sort of a so-so game. Only nostalgia goggles can save it, and what got people is the fact that game was on CD. If you had had the chance to play good CD based RPGs like some of the ones on the Sega CD before FF7 then the effect of all the FMVs and such in FF7 doesn’t have any of the wow factor you would get if it’s all brand new to you… And the story and characters were a lot better on many of those other RPGs too. I mean did anyone give a crap about anyone’s dialogue in that game? Was there any NPC who was worth talking to in the whole game? No, not really. I think more people read the text in World of Warcraft than they did in FF7.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

    The psp games/movies are terrible way of putting games in things. My brother has one and let me tell you those games are easy to break out of their little plastic shell. It is. One of his games he can’t play much because it is broken that way. Just have mini disks! You do not really need to have the plastic things. If it works with the gamecube why does it not work with the psp? We can handle it. Gamers can handle it, we’ve handled worse.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, I sure hope that was your doppelganger saying Advent Children was garbage, cuz if not, we need to have a lil talk mm kay…

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    Favorite part: Spoony calling everyone a pussy for crying at aeris’ death then cutting to him crying at the opera scene of FFVI. 11:33: Well there goes any respect I had for FFX & X-2.

    • http://profiles.google.com/chrisguy0 Chris Guy

      Except he’s playing the GBA version… With a SNES controller…

      • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

        probably didn’t the original game anymore. Doesn’t matter, since it was meant as a joke.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

        probably didn’t the original game anymore. Doesn’t matter, since it was meant as a joke.

  • Anonymous

    This is one of your better videos, Noah. I know people often complain that you’re not objective in your reviews, but you always have well thought-out and reasonable arguments to back up your opinions. This video is a good example of this.

    Not only that, buy you’re perfectly right too, this game is way over rated. When I played it, I enjoyed myself (in the end that’s all a game has to do), but it’s no masterpiece. What really got me about the plot (and that you didn’t mention) was the major ass-pull surrounding Cait Sith’s betrayal of the party. After he is revealed as a mole he wants to rejoin the party as an actual hero; that’s fine, it happens all the time in fiction. The problem is there is no way any of the party members would want him back in the team after what he’d done. So what to the writers have him do? He blackmails his way back on board by threatening to harm Barret’s daughter, completely eliminating any chance that he could fully redeem himself to the party and have any sort of a fulfilling character arch. The half-assed writing right there really surprised me on my second play-through of the game a few years later.

    Oh, and I’d like to point out that the anime ninja wannabe (sorry I don’t know his name, I’m not a fan) shown in this video is wearing international orange. A colour designed specifically to STAND OUT FROM IT’S SURROUNDINGS!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      its not just ff7 that’s overrated, its the series itself that is overrated. That is what I dislike about this series. It has brainwashed fans to the point where they question nothing and are willing to bend over backwards for it. Also, all anyone likes about FF7 is Sepheroth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      its not just ff7 that’s overrated, its the series itself that is overrated. That is what I dislike about this series. It has brainwashed fans to the point where they question nothing and are willing to bend over backwards for it. Also, all anyone likes about FF7 is Sepheroth.

  • http://profiles.google.com/bahamut66 Stephen Nordan

    I suppose I’m late to the party, but…it just confuses me. Not the review itself, but the Spoony One. Yeah, he’s trying to dick around with us for laughs and probably to inspire both admiration and hate in nerds of all creeds, but it’s clear he likes and still plays most Final Fantasy games before 12(which I’d like to hear your opinion on, actually, since if anyone else defends it, I may have an aneurism.) Why rag so much on 10 and 8? They’re not perfect, but they’re basically fun…if you ignore the draw shit and extra content. Hell, even 10-2 has a fun game under all the fluff.

    Just saying.

    For any of the commenters out there who still pay attention, I liked Advent Children, Dissidia, and 10-2. Before any hate comes my way, I admit that each was flawed in its own way, but they were at least fun and interesting for a while, unlike many games I could mention.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      Well, if you can’t make fun for the sake of fun, what can you do? Also, he actually likes 12. He mentioned it in his vlog of 13. I kind of liked it myself. I guess the reason for the hate on 10 and 8 stems from being a fan of the old school games and seeing everything changed and being the same game over and over. Gets mundane after a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      Well, if you can’t make fun for the sake of fun, what can you do? Also, he actually likes 12. He mentioned it in his vlog of 13. I kind of liked it myself. I guess the reason for the hate on 10 and 8 stems from being a fan of the old school games and seeing everything changed and being the same game over and over. Gets mundane after a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      Well, if you can’t make fun for the sake of fun, what can you do? Also, he actually likes 12. He mentioned it in his vlog of 13. I kind of liked it myself. I guess the reason for the hate on 10 and 8 stems from being a fan of the old school games and seeing everything changed and being the same game over and over. Gets mundane after a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      Well, if you can’t make fun for the sake of fun, what can you do? Also, he actually likes 12. He mentioned it in his vlog of 13. I kind of liked it myself. I guess the reason for the hate on 10 and 8 stems from being a fan of the old school games and seeing everything changed and being the same game over and over. Gets mundane after a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      Well, if you can’t make fun for the sake of fun, what can you do? Also, he actually likes 12. He mentioned it in his vlog of 13. I kind of liked it myself. I guess the reason for the hate on 10 and 8 stems from being a fan of the old school games and seeing everything changed and being the same game over and over. Gets mundane after a while.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      also, I like the action of Advent Children, but I felt the whole thing was just filler until we get to the fight scene between Sephiroth and Cloud.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/7N7HV47KSMHDFJN7XXPPX3VAWY Dakota

      XII is amazing and lol at saying FFX was fun. You sir, are misinformed and annoying.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DRGJMWVMIVDN7TV6P2QAQVYD5U Awesome

        You like XII, but not X? And you’re not misinformed?

      • http://twitter.com/marktakesshits Mark Marchesini

        I’m beginning to think this world is just entirely brainless. After FFX, the series was just like, “Well, nobody wants to use this stupid turn based battle junk anymore… I have an idea for Final Fantasy XII! Let’s have the characters circle strafe the enemies while they periodically hit the enemy and take hits from enemies! Fun, am I right?! And for XIII, let’s have an AUTO BATTLE system! Think about it! It’ll basically just be one giant movie!”

        Fuck off. I hated Final Fantasy X and VIII, but they at least kept SOME semblance of the classic games. FFXII just went off the deepend.

        • Anonymous

          The battle system in FFXII was most likely modeled after that of Chrono Trigger, which I really enjoyed playing when I was a little kid so that probably has a lot to do with why it didn’t bother me.  I personally found it a lot more fun than FFX.  It’s not nearly as linear as that game, the voice acting is much improved, and the story for the most part is entertaining and at the very least plausible. 

          The thing I hated about FFXII is that the protagonist is essentially a Tidus clone named Vaan who, as Spoony has pointed out, really has nothing to do with the plot of the game.  If they had just made Balthier, Basch, or even Ashe as the lead character and left out Vaan entirely it would have been a great game.  Even with Vaan, it is still a good game.  And once you have Basch, Ashe, Balthier, and Fran in your party, you really never have to use Vaan and Penelo in battle.  This does not make me or others in the world who like FFXII “brainless.”  Just accept that people are entitled to have opinions and preferences different from yours and let’s leave it at that.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Sheil/594748387 Jamie Sheil

            stopped reading when you said FF XII’s combat was modelled after Chrono Trigger. please never compare that boring piece of shit to such a great RPG. Their combat systems are nothing alike. NOTHING

    • dragosix_youtube

      Because the gameplay was slow, unintuative and boring and the plot and characters were stupid.

      An RPG is bad if the game elements do not work well together. The game elements are story and gameplay. They do not work well.

  • http://profiles.google.com/bahamut66 Stephen Nordan

    I suppose I’m late to the party, but…it just confuses me. Not the review itself, but the Spoony One. Yeah, he’s trying to dick around with us for laughs and probably to inspire both admiration and hate in nerds of all creeds, but it’s clear he likes and still plays most Final Fantasy games before 12(which I’d like to hear your opinion on, actually, since if anyone else defends it, I may have an aneurism.) Why rag so much on 10 and 8? They’re not perfect, but they’re basically fun…if you ignore the draw shit and extra content. Hell, even 10-2 has a fun game under all the fluff.

    Just saying.

    For any of the commenters out there who still pay attention, I liked Advent Children, Dissidia, and 10-2. Before any hate comes my way, I admit that each was flawed in its own way, but they were at least fun and interesting for a while, unlike many games I could mention.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    The game is full of plotholes and disturbing concepts, like that Hujo freak trying to get Aeris and Red XIII to mate. I’m convined FFVII started everything that’s stereotyped or just plain wrong with JRPG’s today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JLBehrend Jeremy Behrend

    yeah damn you FF7!  i mean, here i am..looking for dragonballs with bulma and tifa- when this freaking blond haired chick with a whip and asspickle interrupt my quest while having to fight sand ninjas and drunken hokage…what? thats not in dragon ball? DAMN YOU NARUTO!

  • Anonymous

    “You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

    *Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

  • Anonymous

    “You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

    *Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

  • Anonymous

    “You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

    *Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

  • Anonymous

    “You get to know her for about two hours before Sephiroth stabs her in the heart.”

    *Aeries getting stabbed through the abdomen region*

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kim-Smith/100000682553835 Kim Smith

    the reaction to FFx-2 was pretty much my reaction when i saw that xD

  • http://twitter.com/Nightshift10000 Daniel Johnson

    What the hell Spoony the only reason I like FF7 and obsessed over it was because of the Character Tifa Lockhart AKA the hottest woman in Gaming history, not counting Luka from Lost Planet Extreme Condition.

  • Anonymous

    Yep, and this is why 9 times out of 10, when someone says “VII was my first Final Fantasy”, that’s my cue to tune out whatever else they’re gonna say.

  • Jeremy Lee

    the answer was no, and it pissed alot of people off spoony! in fact it pissed me off so much i didnt buy a PS3 until Marvel Vs Capcom 3 came out!  you should do MVC next!

  • Charlie McFarlin

    I find it kinda funny that the comments you make here are kinda true. I never played FFVII, hell the only one I have played is FFX, I regretted that ever since. Still, I am an anime fan… so I still get somewhat frustrated. But… I cannot explain what other fans do… so again I find myself agreeing with you.

  • Anonymous

    Advent Children can be pretty epic if you’re really, really, really, REALLY high when you watch it. Even then, you’ll still die a little inside with every syllable of dialogue that’s spoken, but the action scenes will be amazing.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve got to disagree with Spoony on the PSP being a piece of crap.  When this review came out, yes it was pretty useless, but that was before you could buy PSX games off of the Playstation Network.  You can finally play the good Final Fantasy games released on the Playstation like FF7 and FF6, and you can play them anywhere and at anytime you want.  (For people like me who haven’t been able to play FF7 in over ten years because they lost or accidentally damaged the discs and don’t feel like shelling out over $100 to buy it again off of Amazon or eBay, this is a godsend.)  And considering that these games came out before the Playstation had analog sticks, it really doesn’t matter that that part of the PSP sucks.  You can’t play the classic Final Fantasy games, or any PSX games for that matter, with the new Playstation Vita (although you can get the new HD release of FFX for the Vita, that is if you’re bat-shit INSANE), so I have no regrets for getting a PSP a few months ago.    
     
    And while FF7 is probably my favorite game of the series despite its flaws (either that, or it’s tied with FF6, and even that game shamelessly ripped off Star Wars), I do wholeheartedly agree with Spoony that once it opened the door to obsessive anime fans worshipping it and all subsequent releases, it really did make the rest of us who liked it look bad.  To this day I’ve admitted only to my boyfriend and a few close friends that I love playing this game because I don’t want to be lumped together with the creepy fanboys and fangirls who take this game WAY too seriously.     
     
    BTW, they really should have left the lyrics to the Aria at the Opera House in FF6 alone.  Yes, maybe the original English translation for the SNES version of FF6 wasn’t as close to the original Japanese as the translation for the Game Boy Advance version was, but at least it was good. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2ODNVYIBP4VW7IHHW45VBEFYDA Joel

    I gotta agree with you on the Otaku fandom. I love anime and some of its compelling story telling and unique characters but there are plentiful of people out there who obsess over it and give us bad stereotypes. Just google “otaku room” and you will know what Im talking about. Not to hate on fans of anime or final fantasy in this case. But there needs to be a line between a legitimate fan and an obsession.

  • Anonymous

    :D I could not agree more with this review. FF7 is f-ed up. I was laughing so hard.

    And while i freely admit to liking hentai, i too am disturbed by some of the extreme bizarre shit like you showed. Two normally proportioned anime people having normal, consensual sex is all i need.

    I also noticed that was the GBA version of FF6′s opera seen you showed there. Not that that’s a bad thing, though; the singing sounds like an actual woman and the lyrics actually match the melody. But still, you were holding an SNES controller in that shot.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/S7P4D3ZVNLLUFOJAGXHYEOCMEM Ellie

    You have to admit, at least Yuna was a sexpot with tiny titties. And I’m sorry, but her dance at the beginning of FFX-2 (or… well… I know who it really is but shut up) just kind of gets me going.

    And while I did like FF7, what the hell is up with Sephiroth? Kefka actually destroys the world, while that grey-haired over-compensating emo pussy sits around, listens to My Chemical Romance, and jacks off to this mother, AND HE’S THE ONE LAUDED AS THE BEST FF VILLAIN EVER? Not even that, if you dress up as him, you’re GUARANTEED to win a fucking cosplay contest, even if you look like shit! What utter bullshit!

    And yes, Vincent and everything that had to do with him was fucking retarded.

    • Sir Quaffler

       I think why people like Sephiroth over Kefka is simply because he had more “stage presence”, if you will. He dressed intimidating, spoke all the right evil lines, set fire to a town, and was said to be insane, but from what I can figure [I've never played the game] he makes a lot of empty threats and makes a big ‘ol “I’m going to be the most powerful being in the world” speech just like every other megalomaniac ever.

      Kefka, on the other hand, starts out as a comic relief who dresses like a stupid clown, prances around spouting corny lines, and has his plans initially fail miserably, thereby making him seem as harmless as Team Rocket. However, as the game progresses we see just how much of a freaking nutjob he really is, and unlike almost every villain ever, his grand scheme actually succeeds ad he becomes GOD, at which point he proceeds to obliterate the earth. His fight is so much more meaningful because, rather than trying to save the world just like everybody else, you’re trying to take town the person who already destroyed it, with a motley crew of people who have directly or indirectly had their lives ruined by him, especially Cyan.

      Anyways Kefka is just so much better of a villain than Sephiroth [or anyone else, for that matter.]

      Oh, and Spoony? I was tearing up at the opera scene as well, I know that feel bro.

  • DraculaAlucard1

    Hey, dont diss Yuffie. & I’m not saying that cause I like jail bate….which I dont. This kid is what, ten? & she carries a shurriken almost as big as her……Why is it that since ff7 the side characters are awsum, but the mains are emo, gay, prepubesent, or a mixture of the three, up untill Snow, & Lightning from XIII…..Although Hope is really emo……ish. Lightning-AWSUM! Snow-AWSOME! Squall-Pussy! Cloud-Pussy! Tifa-…..SEX SYMBOL! Yuffie-BADASS KID WITH A GIANT SHURRIKEN! Oh, & what was the game Spoony was crying about? FF3? 

    • Anonymous

      Spell-check much?

  • DraculaAlucard1

    OH forgot to add. Jeckt, & Orin……SUPER MEGA BADASSS! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Heather-Nicole-Mattingly/537503840 Heather Nicole Mattingly

      Auron you mean. Orin was that wish-granting amulet from The Neverending Story II and III.

  • Anonymous

    Most of the FFVII spin-offs really do suck royally.  Advent Children was just terrible (I consider myself lucky that I only watched ten minutes of it), and Dirge of Cerberus looked so bad I couldn’t bring myself to play it. Though I hate to admit it, I really did like Crisis Core…that is, up until the point in the story when they reach Nibelheim and completely fail to maintain any sort of consistency with the story from the original.  The whole Genesis plot was pretty stupid too, but for most of the game I overlooked that because the gameplay was so much fun. 
     
    Wait, let me clarify that last statement…the game is a lot of fun initially, but after a while, when you realize all of the side quests just involve doing missions where you fight the same monsters over and over again in different variations of the same 5 dungeons, it gets really repetitive.  In addition to that, the only two buildings you can ever enter of your own free will are the Shinra building and the church, you can’t ever visit any of the shops or towns, there’s barely even fifteen NPCs populating the entire city of Midgar, and the game is extremely linear.   But I was able to look past all of that because I loved being back in the world of FFVII, I loved finally learning the story behind Aeris and Zack, and I actually really liked playing Zack.  He’s kind of annoying at first, but they do a good job of fleshing out his character and making him likeable, something they completely screwed up with Tidus in FFX. 
     
    But when I got to Nibelheim, I was so disgusted by how much they disregarded the plot from the original game and completely rewrote the best scenes from FFVII that I immediately stopped playing.  I returned my PSP soon after that, and just decided to buy one again a few months ago when I found out I could download the original FFVII to the system.  I dusted off Crisis Core and started playing it for the first time since I quit with it four years ago.  I’ll probably just play until I get to Nibelheim and remember exactly why I never finished it. 

    • Bhameall

      It’s weird. I’ve just played Final Fantasy Crisis Core for the second time because I wanted to see the ending movie (which I heard is really epic) and ended up giving up once again just after Nibelheim, as you did.

      You pretty much summarized and nailed what is wrong and what works with this game. Strangely enough, the act that should have been the best of the whole game due to its connivance with FFVII, end up being the most outrageous of it all. As you mentioned, there is so many rewriting and raping to FFVII plot, it’s just unbearable.

      I guess I will just watch that ending movie on Youtube =/

      P.S. : It was a pleasure reading your comment.

    • operasjonhusk

      Although I generally agree with you about the FF7 spinoffs sucking, I don’t really think you get a say in this untill you’ve actually seen or played them. I got the impression you’ve almost completed CC, but barely played, if even touched, DoC. And you’ve only seen 10 mins of a movie and you’re saying its bad/horrible? Its like watching the first 10 mins of the Matrix and saying its shit. Like I said though, I DO mostly agree with you, DoC and AC certainly wasn’t great, but without actually experiencing it, you don’t deserve a say in it. Its almost like those who say Naruto is extremely childish and barely scratched the surface of the story.
      Of course, I am digging my own grave in a way with this comment, because I haven’t seen the earth being round, so how can I claim it is? Well guess I’m not technically digging my own grave because its a different thing entirely.
      Again though, I mostly agree with your comment regarding the spinoffs.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/RMZ6OTGICKWQUAS2FX5S2WIFF4 Stephen

      I hate Crisis Core because of it’s lvl up system; the entire thing is luck based! Who’s bright idea was that!?

  • http://twitter.com/jesternario jesternario

    Here are steps to making the ultimate Cosplay.

    1) Take a large piece of plywood (make sure it’s at LEAST 4×8 feet in width and height).
    2) Attach it to a handle of some sort.
    3) Spike your hair.

    Congratulations, you are not cosplaying as EVERY character from EVERY JRPG EVER!

    • http://www.facebook.com/EthanYIMR1 Ethan Smith

      What about Vyse from Skies of Arcadia? or Kharg and Darc from Arc the Lad? In fact, how many other JRPGS can you name that feature a protagonist with an oversized Buster type sword?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tommy-Ahkmill-Lucido/100001445805035 Tommy Ahkmill Lucido

    I wouldn’t call a blood feud. I personally think that FF7 is the worst in the series. I’d sooner play 13. Even Advent Children was a better stand-alone movie than the game.

  • castchaos

    *looks at the “Final Fantasy VII” title appearing onscreen* Yeah, what about the best console game by far, ever?
    It actually set so high expectations for FFVIII that it just couldn’t meet. I still like FFVIII, it’s just not among my favourite FF games.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gage-Saltkill/100001103210113 Gage Saltkill

    I’m glad you did this one. The amount of blind fans sickens me, but I’ve actually tried to play it multiple times because I hear good things about it from people I trust. However, I always get bored out of my mind and quit. The farthest I’ve gotten is to this flash-back, I believe it was Nibelhiem or something. That’s not a good thing, because I have the patience to actually sit through hours of grinding in Etrian Odyssey, and though there are easier ways to go about it as I said before, drawing 100 of every type of magic I come across in FF8. I never even tried to grind in 7, I tried to rush through and get to the good parts of the story, but the game is just way too boring for me.

    Sadly, even though I claim to be an Otaku, just claiming that isn’t enough to hold back those who obsess over these things. I actually started avoiding FF7 doujins after I saw what they were doing, and I’ve sat through a couple Guro ones :(. In the end nothing can stop them, many of the obsessive ones have given up on real women and even reality. It’s saddening how someone could do a great cosplay outfit, and get overtaken just because 10 other people did horrible Cloud and Sephiroth ones. I kind of wish they would stop with FF7 so people would get over it all-ready.

    Lastly, I thank you for your remarks on Ninjas. Though Naruto does have a few good things about it, I believe the recent image of a ninja has become someone who does flashy cool techniques, rather than a silent assassin. If you are really a ninja, you will do anything to kill your target without being caught. If you’re good at it, they will think the target will die of natural causes. This does not entail running around in bright colors while screaming. :(

  • jagarcia0705

    Final Fantasy: Advent Children is not the best movie, but its leagues above Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Besides I’ve seen worse movies *cough* Christmas With the Kranks *cough*.

    • Necrovarium

      Not to mention the fact that at the time, Advent Children, while rather silly, though I was glad some of the clones had faces (even though their abilities created a plot-hole compared to the ones in the actual game) was damned pretty. It’s still a pretty movie, and I’ve seen Dreamworks films since then which have felt more wooden in the animation. It was a nice milestone in a manner of speaking.

  • manuman_knd

    altough i understand your arguments, i have to say this: Sephiroth is INSANE. he is powerful and INSANE. that’s the idea. It’s not like, say seymour who is just an Emo. He is insane and has to be stopped.
    And really, Cloud is FAR better handled than, say, squall.

  • operasjonhusk

    I must agree to some of your arguments regarding FF7, but characters such as Vincent DOES have a good backstory. I’ll agree to Dirge of Cerberus not being an optimal game, but some of the story is good. Also, Sephiroth does have a reason to destroy the world. Jenova “tells” him to do so, wether he is possessed or that he just read too many books in the Shinra Mansion and incorrectly interpreted it, I’m not sure. Lastly, PSP IS GOOOOD! Lol, There are some good games for PSP, FF Dissida, Castlevania Dracula X Chronicles, FF7 Last Order… no wait, I mean Crisis Core just to name some. I really agree on the whole Otaku cosplay stuff though… wtf. Wherever I see a picture of some1 dressed as a fictional characters I know, it feels like its mind rape.

  • http://www.facebook.com/EthanYIMR1 Ethan Smith

    It’s amazing how Spoony knew to record his reaction to the opera scene in ’94! Astounding! :P

  • Dryd Aykma

    The problem with people hating FFVII for being generic is the fact that it wasn’t at the time. Cloud being brooding was NEW. The long-haired pretty boy Sephiroth? His design was an original thing at the time. Pretty much everything in FFVII was new and cool. The hate it receives is generally from fanhaters and those who don’t understand that it hasn’t aged well. To put it in perspective, FFVII is like Halo. Halo introduced the regenerating mechanic, the two weapon mechanic and others. The major difference betweenthe two is that FFVII has been out longer and aged worse, and Halo has had it’s HD remake…

  • http://twitter.com/TheZaius DrZaius

    Ha ha, his shock at the end makes me think of Kramer from Seinfeld screaming with Jerry when Jerry finds out he has some of Kramer’s blood in him.

  • http://twitter.com/ArtistaAF alvaro oyarte

    i would say anything but actually the only Final Fantasy i ever played was Dirge of Cerberus wich still a good game specially becauce they decided to make it a third person shooter instead a turn based rpg, & yeah it was dumb at certain points (like Omega Weis being so fucking easy it gets pathetic, i mean hell Shelke was by far the most difficult boss & she is the forth boss) but still enjoyable, more than this FF7 XD …and it was about time someone say that Naruto isn’t a ninja he is just a missplaced copycat of Goku’s Super Sayian color pallete

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus

      The very creator of Naruto comment on this, saying his characters are superfighters only named ninjas because of the popularity of ninjas. Or so I heard.

      • http://twitter.com/ArtistaAF alvaro oyarte

        lol, that pretty much explains everything XD

  • http://www.facebook.com/kairimun1988 Tasha Gardner

    I just want to ask something, not commenting on the rest.
    Which early FF game is it that you’re crying to in the ’94 flashback? I’ve played them all, I just can’t remember which technical one that is, since the messed brutally with the numbering.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kairimun1988 Tasha Gardner

    You just HAD to pull Celes’ opera on me~!! ;—; Why, Spoony, why?? Dx
    Odd tho, I thought the lyrics were different. o.o

  • http://www.facebook.com/kairimun1988 Tasha Gardner

    Spoony…. I have one thing to say about this…………………….

    THANK YOU.
    Naruto is a whining blonde ball of crap.
    I’m pretty sure even Yuffie is a better ninja, which is SAD.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love FF7, but I get a kick out of your harsh yet true jokes. :3 Keep it up!
    Now go play FF12 and 13 for us. :3

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6EVM3F2U7HDWHYC7LO7TETE2KA MichaelT

    I’m still hoping for an eventual Spoony review of Advent Children!

  • Morgil27

    Is it bad that it took me only five minutes to find the uncensored version of that Quistis pic online?

    Also, as a fellow Wisconsinite, i really dig Spoony’s shirt.

  • Zipper Dragon

    1: Yuffie is my favorate chacter (No I’m not into jail bait)
    2: Fuck you! (Jk ur awsome!)

    • Courtney Waffles Elisabeth

      Yuffie is the best! :3

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Binku-Muja/100003653927147 Binku Muja

    Funny thing is, I just got FF7 and promptly named Cloud ‘Ladyboy’. Then I went on a spoony marathon and watched this particular review; it made my day. >:) Naturally I had to be an even bigger ass and so decided to call Aerith ‘Deadmeat’. I. Regret. Nothing.

    People keep saying FF7 is the best FF game ever. I disagree for a multitude of reasons which few people dare to admit for fear of the rabid FF fanboys. The story is ‘meh’, the transparant ‘love triangle’ was the god damned pits. I couldn’t wait for Aerith to get shish kebobbed because she was boring and bland. I am enjoying the throwback to ‘the olden days’ though. God knows I need it right now with the slew of shit that passes for games these days.

    On top of that-I also got a FF8 demo with FF7. I’m too scared to play…Should I try it and become a drooling vegetable? Or walk away, untried and somewhat sane?

  • Guest

    i just hope everyone knows that not all of us that watch anime or play ff7 are creepy fanboys right. its just the overly obsessive are the ones you have to watch out for. so lets stop calling eachother names or yelling and makeing fun of eachother for playing this or any other game. oppinions are just that and to each their own

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.kim.754570 James Kim

    @Your Neon Genesis Evangelion mini-rant.
    Most people just think it’s overrated due to ignorance, lack of research, or just no knowledge of the anime in general.
    But I could tell it’s all of the above due to fact of “E-vaa-jelly-on”.
    <3

    • http://handsomefatman.com/ Carlos Alexandre

      I’m pretty well-versed on anime and Eva, and Eva is still trash.

  • http://twitter.com/jesternario jesternario

    You know, I didn’t weep during the FF6 opera song. I was too busy trying to read the DAMN LYRICS!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cheryl-ann-Berlin/717598338 Cheryl-ann Berlin

    I cried at the opera too :’(

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keichi-Morisato/100000966444006 Keichi Morisato

    has anyone besides me ever master-bated to the opening to FFX-2?

  • Elisabeth

    FFVII has inspired more than its fair share of perverted art and fiction, but one one of the most disturbing pieces of fanart I’ve ever seen was of Relm from FFVI. Enough said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tony.molock Tony Molock

    fun fun laugh fun. final fantasy ten-2. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

  • bloodshed113094

    I just got to the part where you’re dressing in drag to invade a whore house. How many times can I say ‘DAMN IT JAPAN!’ before I’m done with this section? Let’s find out!

  • SUPERSOUP

    1994 Spoony crying.

    My fucking sides.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja

    Y’all might wanna read this. The truth about ninjas is much more interesting than the archetypal stereotype that even the Japanese believe in.

  • Martin Falco Brezniansky

    man i just love all final fantasy games 1-12… thats all… im not an anime maniac or hentai pervert, i just like that games. whats wrong about it??

  • Lamar Namou

    Eh, you’re far too judgmental Spoony. I ain’t fan of anime fanboys and whatnot myself, but if they’re doing what they enjoy. I understand that Final Fantasy and Metal Gear changed the style of gaming in huge ways, but it’s not too bad at times. I do hate the music videos and the generic wall jumping bullcrap made to appeal fo the fans, but the company’s fault.

  • Pingback: Spoony: Final Fantasy VIII – Part 6 [Video] | STAR COMMAND Communiqué

  • NeroAngelo

    look at it this way, we muddle through those horrible FF games & we get awesome KH games

  • The Spoony Experiment
    @ 2014 Noah Antwiler
  • Privacy Policy
  • "Burt-OS" forged by The Engineer.
  • Logo image by Marobot.