Final Fantasy X – Part 3

The Spoony One | Aug 29 2010 | more notation(s) | 

Wedding bells are ringing for Yuna, but what kind of honeymoon does Seymour have planned?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Hartman/1187583036 Matthew Hartman

    Woo new Final Fantasy X Review

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HA2RRLOOPGZ6A7ST7O3YXOF6AQ Sean

    cool

  • http://www.facebook.com/gnomerman Gnomer Mang

    good to see you still torment yourself with these <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=528661046 Rocky Bergen

    Finally!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1160661716 Roger Civit

    Spoony, there is a very easy explanation for why the main character of FFX is the one who is and not Yuna; also it would apply for the one in FF12. It’s just because of demographics. As strange as it can sound to someone like us, these games target a very specific demographic group: the Japanese teenager videogame geek/otaku. These games will almost always feature a teenager male main character and a lot of very silly female “love interests” for him, because that’s how Japanese society in part but mostly how the brain of those in Japan who are the target demographic for these kinds of games works.

    You will see exactly the same pattern in 70% or more of the Japanese games and manga/anime out there.

    And yes, it’s silly but remember, these games are made for that precise demographic group and I think they don’t really care that much about people like us and what we would think.

    • Gregory Bogosian

      If having a teenaged male protagonist was so mission critical in Square’s mind, then why did they not just swap the genders of Yuna and Seymour? Remove Tidus from the story and the only time Yuna being female matters in the slightest is when Seymour proposes marriage to her. Change Seymour’s gender as well and Yuna being male would not seem odd at all.

  • http://twitter.com/desolateone1 Brenden Lyons

    Bout time Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JessicaUshiromiya Jessica Ushiromiya

    Yay!

  • http://twitter.com/iRiffMoleman J_Masterbassist

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

  • http://twitter.com/Mecahawk Tyler Burnette

    lol at spoony spit take and not changing shirts. Good continuity, but I lol’d :)
    Great review Spoony. Keep ‘em coming.

  • Anonymous

    Yaaay been waiting for this one for MONTHS! Funniest start ever..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Shelton-Brown/1587610163 William Shelton Brown

    Sweet.

    Oh, about the unsent thing. Only people with especially strong egos (Auron, Seymour, The history dude) stay in their human form, everyone else turns into those fireflies that eventually turn into monsters

  • Anonymous

    I was jokingly thinking that something would be posted today on my birthday but turns out I was wrong. Thank you, Spoony, for the best gift ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

    I dodged the lightning over 100 times, it’s to unlock I think Wakkas or Kimaris most powerful weapon… don’t remember… man… I have no excuse other than Stockholm syndrome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dimitrios.papadimitriou1 Dimitrios Papadimitriou

    its fun trying to guess how long you were filming by how dry your shirt was by the end.

  • Anonymous

    “Who would be stupid enough to marry that asshole?”
    “I’ve decided to marry.”
    *SPIT TAKE*

  • Anonymous

    It took you four hours to get through the Thunder Plains?

    Ohh, someone’s been dodging lightning bolts for the Venus Sigil. :)

  • Anonymous

    Aw you skipped the irritating dragon boss on the airship :c

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1575880087 Chris Meeder

    Thank You Spoony its awsome as usual.

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    Dare I ask WHY you happen to have a spare Tidus outfit laying around?

  • Anonymous

    aww come on spoony, it WAS a happy firework! :V

  • http://twitter.com/UnfortunateWill William Pickett

    But the good thing about XII is that after a certain point early in the game, Vaan was under no delusions that he was the protagonist. He clearly knew that he was along for the ride.

  • Last Scarecrow

    I seem to remember seeing a clip of the cutscene with the grind boots on TechTV (or whatever it was at the time) right after playing the demo of Sonic Adventure 2.

    Funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Doup/1161304999 Nick Doup

    Spoony, is it worse than saying “Fuck Haiti” like Bubba the Love Sponge?

  • Swang Lee

    lol @ vuvuzela joke

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Smith/100001110225197 Daniel Smith

    Ah… black lantern Spoony… it’s been too long! I can’t wait for the conclusion.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UOYXJGBKNKJKAHTW6OJKFQB7YI WilliamT

    Wow… amazing coincidence. I was JUST watching sfdebris’ (sfdebris’s?) review of The Wrath of Khan before coming over to watch this. At first, I thought just the poster behind Spoony would be the end of the coincidence, but I never realized how much the two can tie in… freaky coincidence overload…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Blair-Price/701320214 Blair Price

    Actually you need to dodge it 200 fucking times for lulus best weapon. a stuffed cactuar :/

  • Anonymous

    Finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, FFX HAS COME BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK to SPOONNNNY Experiment!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-T-McHenry/20925881 Matthew T McHenry

    As a Green Lantern fan, I must inform you that you’ve been wearing that ring on the wrong finger. It’s supposed to be on the middle finger. Despite that error, I loved that scene and the musical selection from ROTJ was perfect.

  • SinnerBeta

    Pity you didn’t play the Tidus’ and Yuna’s laugh from earlier in the game when you were making fun of Seymour’s proposal.

  • Anonymous

    i knew you would to do something with the black lantern spoony clone.

  • Anonymous

    Great review, as always. I’m confused though as to why Black Lantern Spoony requires aid in casting down Clone Spoony, especially considering that it was Linkara that defeated him the last two times (and with a SWAT shout-out of all things). Maybe Black Lantern Spoony has been infected by whatever got the writers of Final Fantasy X.

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    This is also why they are able to overlook lapses in storytelling and gameplay… As long as they get to live out their little self-indulgent fantasies, they couldn’t give a rat’s ass anything else and are willing to let JRPG makers take their money by the fistful… Allowing said makers to rest on their laurels and not challenge themselves

    Hence the domination of “moe” over the Japanese entertainment market

    Of course, the critical flaw of appealing to this demographic is that while these ronery bastards have buckets full of disposable income, they also don’t have the tendency to breed (thank god) so this money well drying up isn’t just a possibility, it’s inevitable

    Meanwhile American animation and RPG studios have been nipping at the heels of Anime and JRPG’s for over a decade, making huge strides and improvements in storytelling and immersion, which the SANE percentage of Earth’s population has found far more appealing

    Seriously, anyone who claims that FFXIII is a better RPG than the likes of Fallout 3 or Dragon Age: Origins is in denial

    In summery, “harem” and “moe” are the cancers killing the Japanese entertainment industries

  • http://twitter.com/Vendettagainst Austin Rudnick

    You forgot to mention that that dessert is impossible. A dessert cannot lead out from a shore like that. There has to be SOME plant life around that area.

  • Anonymous

    are you talking about cake, brother?
    it’s a desert, dude.

  • http://twitter.com/Mcmadness288 Michael Ferguson

    I hate you Tidus.
    And now your alive again.
    Great….

  • Anonymous

    You need to doge the lightning 200 times and I’ve done that… twice, hahahahahha…. wait that’s kind of sad….

  • Anonymous

    Someone’s on a Lemmy kick lately…

  • http://spoonyexperiment.com The Spoony One

    I don’t think you’re remembering those events correctly, but at least you’re interested.

  • Anonymous

    Ugh this game’s plot makes my balls ache.

    Awesome review, Spoony.

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    Aww hell right what I needed right now! Another funny and well thought out review, totally worth the wait. And yes, Japan has a word for subtlety, but Final Fantasy writers weren’t intelligent enough to write the hieroglyphs for it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clayton-Blanchard/1027514832 Clayton Blanchard

    Oh man that was awesome. Cannot WAIT for the finish now!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mick-Foley/100001363324241 Mick Foley

    … Didn’t Black Lantern Spoony kill himself so he wouldn’t have to host his own show in light of the fact that Final Fantasy X was being reviewed? Why does he want the show back knowing he’d either have to review Final Fantasy X (a game to which death is apparently preferable) or put up with the backlash of his fans if he were to cancel it?

  • Anonymous

    I always had the theory about X and XII that someone at Square wrote the story and was like “Fuck.. we made a girl the main character. Our demographic is 18year old male nerds.. shouldwe rewrite it?” and then someone else said “Oh, throw some annoying blonde twatmonkey and say he’s the star. They’ll never notice.”

  • TimADugan

    Oooo, I was wondering when Black Lantern Spoony would show his face again. A review and a quite fun storyline within the videos. Overall a great video :) Nice work, Spoony :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Garrett/100000161566426 Ian Garrett

    Dr. Insano threw his son! How mean.

    Awesome review, man.

  • http://twitter.com/matt_recneps Matt Spencer

    Oh, it’s even worse. If I remember correctly, it wasn’t a shore Tidus washed up on in the desert. No, it was an oasis.

    That there? The smell of burnt toast? That’s your brain dying from the stupidity of this game.

  • http://twitter.com/Vendettagainst Austin Rudnick

    I got it right. Look, one “s”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aliendrone Guido Servidio

    MOTÖRHEAD RULES!!!! AWESOME SPOONY !! REALLY AWESOME REVIEW !

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    I don’t think you know what “moe” means. It’s basically a kind of “taste” and attraction concepts actually, at least initially. Even though it is now mostly used to refer to pandering to very weird crowds, think of it – is it really strange of people who make entertainment products to cater to audiences? I think not. But that’s not the problem. Be careful with generalizations, please. There is some weird shit going on with Japanese entertainment industry, hell, world’s entertainment industry as a whole, but it’s just a part of it. There will always be talentless hacks and great artists. One has to use discretion and not just bash those media formats (in broader sense) relentlessly, that’s just as stupid.

    And no, the target demographic you’re talking about does not have that kind of money. They are teenagers and NEETs god damn it, not Rockfellers.

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    Wait, you mean 18 year old male nerds do not want a pretty young girl as the main character? I know I do.

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    B-But… Oasis should have vegetation around it too! I know there is a reason why those games make my brain melt in a bad way – the sun in the desert is just too hot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alex-Johnson-Woodford/1135518737 Alex Johnson-Woodford

    1. This was amazing. You’re a fucking genius, man!
    2. Seymour is second only to Rush Limbaugh in evil points. If he could turn those evil points into money, he could replenish the bank accounts of Kelis, MC Hammer, Screech, Pamela Anderson, and Anne Heche faster than Heroes went downhill. He amazes me.
    3. I like the fact that you’re (presumably) only doing another part or two before the FFX reviews are done. I know how impossible it is to play that piece of shit. You really, really do care about the fans, and it shows when you play these atrocious games. Plus, you get more free time, which you deserve! :)
    4. Awesome work on the CG effects! They look really… real.

  • http://twitter.com/Gabriel_Fonseca Gabriel Fonseca

    Well, maybe the Japanese fans don’t…

    But that theory really makes sense.

  • http://twitter.com/Yadokingu Sag Ichnet

    If I remember correctly the Al Bhed kidnapped Yuna, because Cid is her uncle and he and Rikku didn’t want to see her die.
    I think if they kidnapped summoners in general it as to distract from the fact that they are only interested in Yuna..
    Well at least that’s how I remember it. Though it might be that my brain bent my memorys of this game so it makes sense. XD

  • http://twitter.com/Gabriel_Fonseca Gabriel Fonseca

    Great video.

    By the way, will we get to see Spoony dressed as Tidus next time? =D

    That would be funny as hell!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chad-Parks/529875341 Chad Parks

    Ah Dune, ever the provider of great quotable material, and awesomely great riffable moments…

  • http://twitter.com/matt_recneps Matt Spencer

    Great screening and effects on that last part. I can’t really place what you used for the Farplane; it looks familiar though.

    You’re right, since FFX it seems like the games have trouble deciding who their main characters are; and the protagonists they have aren’t exactly easy to relate to. Look at FFXIII: I assume the main character is supposed to be Lightning or Snow, but it’s hard for the average gamer to relate to either one – especially since there’s no real ‘jumping on’ point for us. They already know everything about their world so there’s no natural way to clue the player into anything that’s going on, and their character is already developed. Okay, yes, there was SOME development through the course of the game, but Lightning just becoming less of an asshole isn’t good development.

    Oh man, Wakka trying to cheer Rikku up after the destruction of her home makes me cringe every time I see it. Not that either of the characters were the least bit likable in the first place, but that just makes Wakka more of an ass.

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.dulude David Dulude

    FUCK YOU AND UR FUCKING VUVUZELA!!!

  • http://twitter.com/Gabriel_Fonseca Gabriel Fonseca

    I guess he used for the fairplane scenes from the movie Constantine, isn’t it?

  • http://twitter.com/bojak90 Gabriel Bono

    I thought that too but, if you’ll remember, it came directly after Spoony talked about how the villains’ motivations made no sense

  • http://www.facebook.com/tim.vanthuyne Tim Van Thuyne

    The best of your latest videos, really liked this one. + really good effect in the end there. Way to go. + Motorhead always makes a video more awesome.

  • Anonymous

    The more I see of this game, the more I’m reminded of how much I hated every single, intelligence-insulting minute of it. Keep up the good work, sir.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Billy-Floyd/1041664081 Billy Floyd

    (L) the black lantern spoony bit.

  • http://churchofthecasualchristian.blogspot.com Pryopizm

    I gave FF XII a pass (in fact it’s one of my favorites) because despite the player focus being on Vaan, the fact that there were several diverging stories mixed into the journey and no main character, per se, I was reminded of FF VI (which is my favorite) because each character had their own story.

    It’s an ensemble cast and a main character isn’t always necessary.

    On the other hand, X really is dumb, but I love it because I’m a sucker for bright colors and Bender.

    XIII’s story is just dull.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5HUPJTTC4KKSO7QOL4VYKHKTSM Wacko 4 Flacco

    Yeah, that’s what I figured, too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Avery-Austin/100000927589666 Avery Austin

    Heres a better plot point than farting to change zones the “power” of yunas magic was suddenly preventing sin from moving thus sin had to teleport them to a new zone but why do we care the games balls anyway

  • TOYBOXX

    Oh great, Tidus reincarnate. Time to get out the lube! Satan isn’t done ass fucking us yet with this character. I hope this doesn’t take too long like last time. I’ve got items to sell in the Auction House on DDO.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

    Yeah, this is exactly what the blitzball world cup needed….vuvuzelas and a fast-talking commentator!

    Srsly, though, I look up at my book shelf where I keep most of my console games. I see FF X and X-2 and I think: “…why did I buy those again?” Seriously (again), I never even touched the discs. The chance that I’ll ever play through any of them is zero, so I’d better get rid of them soon. And never touch another Final Fantasy game after 7 (ok, 9 isn’t that bad)

    Other than that, I loved the Black Lantern stuff going on. And I’m looking forward to Spoony cosplaying Tidus. :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=27611694 Joseph Caputo

    Hey Spoony, keep up the good work! Love the review! Update real soon!

  • Iaro

    Oh my god. Are we going to see some more Spoony Cosplay!? Eeeee! :)
    Bet seriously, this story is getting so convoluted and fucked up. I’ve got a headache trying to wrap my mind around it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GS2DFRO5PS62PMWLMLF6NYNDWU Jess

    Grind boots were in Sonic Adventure 2 before Ratchet and Clank.

  • Anonymous

    Excellent review! Totally taking it to the next level. I love the fact that rather than a simple “I loved this game/I hate this game” review, you actually created an engaging narrative with a freaking cliff hanger. Can hardly wait for the next installment. Plus, Dr. Insano…ummm…father of the year? When he said “Spoony you ignorant slut” I nearly choked on some water I was drinking. Too funny. We almost can’t call these “reviews” anymore, as they seem to be taking on a new life as hiliarious comedic short films. keep up the good work.

  • Anonymous

    Excellent review! Totally taking it to the next level. I love the fact that rather than a simple “I loved this game/I hate this game” review, you actually created an engaging narrative with a freaking cliff hanger. Can hardly wait for the next installment. Plus, Dr. Insano…ummm…father of the year? When he said “Spoony you ignorant slut” I nearly choked on some water I was drinking. Too funny. We almost can’t call these “reviews” anymore, as they seem to be taking on a new life as hiliarious comedic short films. keep up the good work.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, what a great cliffhanger to lead us into the final installment of this awesome series. Can’t wait to see what happens in part 4.

  • Anonymous

    I agree, the Cosplay sequences are always “Squee” moments!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EAHJQLWDK2FA2HUMUXGP2RQ7B4 Alexander Alexander

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Spoony is back in action.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Miller/100001085497250 Justin Miller

    If the story ever gets to hard to comprehend just use the excuse ” Magic ” it solves everything.

  • http://twitter.com/Proof_Reader Justin Doyon

    B-b-but Black Lantern Spoony is the original Spoony! The other’s a soulless clone, but… he’s exactly the same! My heart can’t take this. Who do I cheer for? You’re tearing me apart, Spoony!

    Ahem. Great stuff, as usual. I have to question you spoiling the whole ‘Yuna’s gonna die if she beats Sin’ thing if you were still gonna show off the reveal, but I guess I can understand a lack of respect for the story in this case. Besides, half the planet has played this game already.

  • http://twitter.com/Vendettagainst Austin Rudnick

    Not only that, but since Oasises (I think that’s the plural.) are in the middle of land masses, that implies that Tidus fell from the sky to get there… Ow! My brain, balls, and fingernails hurt. Damn you, Final Fantasy X! I’d hate to see how Spoony deals with Final Fantasy X-2. I couldn’t imagine it being any more lazy and rediculous… Oh, god.

  • Anonymous

    Good stuff Spoony. I can’t wait to see Black Lantern Tidus in all his whiny glory

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Campbell/1483729683 Aaron Campbell

    The ending might have been just about one of the most epic things ever.

  • MissAshley

    Super hot ending!

    Each part gets better than the last, but that only makes sense as the game’s story gets worse every hour. My brain checked out about this point, too, as I only remember the desert and wedding. The use of Al Bhed tech didn’t escape my notice, though, since just prior to the wedding we see the supposedly Yevon-loving Guados attacking the supposedly heathen Al Bhed. I remember going through the whole wedding bit gape-mouthed at the staggering stupidity of it all: A walking corpse supported by openly hypocritical holy men attempt to force a high-profile woman into a clearly unwanted marriage in broad daylight amongst an apparently apathetic crowd.

    I also remember wondering just how funky Seymour must smell at the wedding since the game gave me the idea that he was pretty much a walking corpse. His and Yuna’s kiss made me wince pretty hard back then.

    “Tastes like roadkill!”

  • MissAshley

    He needed a new basketball net but getting a whole Tidus costume just for that one elbow turned out to be cheaper.

  • Anonymous

    YES ITS HERE! :D

    nice vid
    nice ending, you kinda looked like brian peppers
    look foward to part 4, whenever that will be

  • http://twitter.com/128bitigor Igor Brodecki

    Even though I like the game and have good memories about it I have to agree with most points made – especially concerning that twatty Tidus. I hate this guy. C**ksucking wuss.

  • Anonymous

    Hmm.. okay, correct me if I’m wrong:

    1) In your joint Youngblood review with Linkara, Black Lantern Spoony is transformed by Linkara’s Phoenix Down back into Original Spoony, though Mekakara kills him again and he reverts back at the end.

    2) In Linkara’s Power Ranger Comic Review and Mekakara conclusion, a ressurected Black Lantern Spoony gets enraged by Linkara’s “You’re in my way, sir” comment and removes his Black Ring in disgust. Again, Original Spoony.

    I did gloss over that Original Spoony (God, I didn’t think I was this much a nerd, but here I am) confronted Clone Spoony and was so disturbed by the item Clone Spoony was reviewing (I forget what it was, there are so many) that Original Spoony killed himself and reverted to Black Lantern Spoony AGAIN. But on the scorecard, that leaves Linkara with two wins. I can’t really give Clone Spoony a win because Black Lantern Spoony didn’t stick around to fight – the confrontation was between Clone and Original Spoony (Dear God, this is on par with a Marvel Crisis Crossover event).

    Am I wrong here? Is there an video I missed?

  • Anonymous

    Hmm.. okay, correct me if I’m wrong:

    1) In your joint Youngblood review with Linkara, Black Lantern Spoony is transformed by Linkara’s Phoenix Down back into Original Spoony, though Mekakara kills him again and he reverts back at the end.

    2) In Linkara’s Power Ranger Comic Review and Mekakara conclusion, a ressurected Black Lantern Spoony gets enraged by Linkara’s “You’re in my way, sir” comment and removes his Black Ring in disgust. Again, Original Spoony.

    I did gloss over that Original Spoony (God, I didn’t think I was this much a nerd, but here I am) confronted Clone Spoony and was so disturbed by the item Clone Spoony was reviewing (I forget what it was, there are so many) that Original Spoony killed himself and reverted to Black Lantern Spoony AGAIN. But on the scorecard, that leaves Linkara with two wins. I can’t really give Clone Spoony a win because Black Lantern Spoony didn’t stick around to fight – the confrontation was between Clone and Original Spoony (Dear God, this is on par with a Marvel Crisis Crossover event).

    Am I wrong here? Is there an video I missed?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sidney-H-Le/1351751397 Sidney H Le

    Joy to the world, the Bard is back.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sidney-H-Le/1351751397 Sidney H Le

    Joy to the world, the Bard is back.

  • Anonymous

    Seeing you do the Seymour battle reminded me of just how horrible it was. Granted I did somewhat like Seymour’s come back to Tidus after using the talk option. Maybe it’s me but a) the voice actor did a half decent job (for once) and b) Seymour’s comment and tone of voice actually seemed somewhat witty, which Tidus couldn’t properly comprehend or hope to counter, thus screaming “SEYMOUR!” back. As for the battle itself, I remember having to grind for about a week or two before feeling ready to take him on (not enjoyable, and I didn’t mind the Sphere Grid that much…). I also found using steal on his stylists seemed to take their reserve of potions, allowing you to take them down and focus on Seymour.

    And the bit at the end with Black Lantern Spoony was AWESOME! I loved Blackest Night (granted not as good as it could have been, but still an enjoyable story), so every time he pops up, I smile. Granted I was half expecting BL Dr Insano to pop up (due to CR’s video) but this looks like it’ll be just as awesome :D And is it me or did the ring have some highlighting on it, as I felt the symbols to stand out more?

  • Anonymous

    Seeing you do the Seymour battle reminded me of just how horrible it was. Granted I did somewhat like Seymour’s come back to Tidus after using the talk option. Maybe it’s me but a) the voice actor did a half decent job (for once) and b) Seymour’s comment and tone of voice actually seemed somewhat witty, which Tidus couldn’t properly comprehend or hope to counter, thus screaming “SEYMOUR!” back. As for the battle itself, I remember having to grind for about a week or two before feeling ready to take him on (not enjoyable, and I didn’t mind the Sphere Grid that much…). I also found using steal on his stylists seemed to take their reserve of potions, allowing you to take them down and focus on Seymour.

    And the bit at the end with Black Lantern Spoony was AWESOME! I loved Blackest Night (granted not as good as it could have been, but still an enjoyable story), so every time he pops up, I smile. Granted I was half expecting BL Dr Insano to pop up (due to CR’s video) but this looks like it’ll be just as awesome :D And is it me or did the ring have some highlighting on it, as I felt the symbols to stand out more?

  • Anonymous

    Man, Spoony. You’ve seemed to miss 1 ass count. I know you’re always on the lookout of asses in FFX to add to your ever-increasing number. But, how could you miss the biggest ass, front and center? Tidus, himself. XD

    Great review, keep it up!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

    Oh yeah, one more thing. I completely agree on the whole Al-Bhed angle. You wanna know what I call it when ONE summoner gives her life to destroy the ultimate evil in the entire time-space continuum?
    A rational transaction. One life for billions!
    The Al-Bhed are idiots!

  • http://twitter.com/TheLinkbird Nick

    To be concluded…?
    Why so eager to end this quickly?
    The reason FFVIII had so many parts was because you filled a large portion of the review with your hilarious riffs(like the high-school dance part).Maybe the reason it turned out so perfectly was because you managed to balance both bitching and riffing very well.
    You are the best at it man.Use more snark.

  • Bandyman

    Once again, epic editing at the end. Can not wait for the next vid in the series. Keep em comming!!!

  • Logan R. Burke

    This blows my mind. Never once I could I enjoy a review like this–of favorite Final Fantasy game–except for this one. This is my absolute favorite entry in the entire franchise, yet I agree with Spoony’s opinion for the most part. Very good episode, very funny.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    So let me get this straight. Spoony now owns a Squall costume AND a Tidus Costume? Cmon Spoony fess up you love all Final Fantasy games and are just trying to repress it with your open hatred. Kinda like gay guys sleeping with every chick they can find to deny that they are gay.

  • Anonymous

    On the same note I don’t mind playing the blonde male twatdonkey.. though for obvious reasons Id rather have run around as Yuna or Asche(sp?). But from a marketing standpoint.. a male lead has a higher level of consumer appeal cause in that case you don’t have to worry about making the closet cases question their masculinity.

    • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.westgate.100 Daniel Westgate

      Or the main character could be Auron and have the story be a respectable 20 hours.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, I’d like to admit my love for the awesomeness that is the ending of this video. It’s epic, it’s such an awesome cliff hanger, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. But, I also have to admit that I liked the beginning just a wee bit more just because it’s totally true, Blitz Ball needs Vuvuzelas in the background. I’m shocked at how appropriate they both are.

  • http://www.facebook.com/theodore.speaker Theodore Julius Speaker

    O.o oh god i have less of a life than Spoony!! …..oh……wait i knew that…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000883512728 Severign Buchanan

    What is the name of the track in the Dune scene? I lost my copy of the movie, and I love that song <.<

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_METWLXS34H6PFFZBKIFTCGM664 josh

    Holy Yevon, the ending is… I won’t spoil it.

    Your Black Lantern Ring is so much better than mine, at least yours has the white trim.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, that was amazing. My favorite part was the cameo from Doktor Sleepless.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_M7KQ7NJ6O3YKTG52NF72YXLBFQ daniel

    lol. Ass Clown is the name I always gave tidus. XD

  • Poipoi

    I had to watch this review twice. Its awesome to see you doing something with the Black Lantern Spoony. I also have to agree with the thunder bluffs mini-game. I never had the patience for that crap. I also liked the cutscenes that dealt with Auron, Jecht, and Braska the best. Jecht might be a drunken a$$hat but he wasn’t a whiny one.

  • Poipoi

    FFXII bored me… at least ffX amused me with how stupid the characters are. Even I have to face palm myself when Wakka tries to cheer them up. The guy meant well but did it terribly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rodrigo.ibarra3 Rodrigo Ibarra

    Fuck… the Ice-goes desert plothole is huge… I guess most RPG fans forget the continuity flaws (as big as they may be) if they are happy with what they are playing…

  • http://twitter.com/Themeloncolony Prons Amuro

    OMFG 104th!

  • Poipoi

    Or they weren’t paying attention to the storyline anymore because they gave up on it.

  • Anonymous

    I remember attempting three time to get through this game. After the initial intro sequences, I was bored completely out of my wits… twice. No, wait. Three times. Twice it resulted in me no longer playing until the following year when I gave it another shot.

    At this point, I think I’m realizing that the only reason I’ve made the claim that “the later portions got better” when I finally did chug all of the way through was because after the drag, stuff was happening. None of it really made sense, but at least stuff was happening. Stuff was blowing up. There were pretty rendered explosions. Huzzah!

    In that, I have to give the game makers credit. Make a game so utterly boring for the first half that by the time anyone chugs through it, you have put up any old shit up on the screen and they’ll think its gold.

    *sigh* That’s it. I’m just sticking with I, IV, VI, VII, XII, and Tactics for now on. Call me when FFXV is released. Maybe there will be hope for the franchise.

    ___________
    Loved the Katrina Water Park reference, by the way. I now have the sudden image of Wakka on the streets of New York during 9/11 raising his arms and yelling Jenga!

  • Anonymous

    Well really, he is almost done. FF8 was a longer game and did have more shit to complain about. The only real annoying factor for X, besides the characters.. story.. plot holes.. setting.. Tidus..Temples.. and Tidus is Blitzball. FF8 had a lot more small things to tear into because the plot was so varied and stupid. FFX is… Tidus is stupid, Yuna goes to temples and gets kidnapped, Seymore is evil, Fuck your clown shoes religion!, Kill Sin, it was all a dream, game over, cue Final Fantasy X-2 and let the fapping begin! And all he has left is the the latter few parts, most of which just fly by.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BNPJSMPZAX22DV3CHBS3JCYTPM JoshR

    Oh man. So much win. I cant wait for the next one.

    BTW, MUCH better job with the voice changing Spoony.

    And a Constantine reference! AWESOME!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1630055637 Boyce Deaton

    Spoony I was actually in Hurricane Katrina and I gotta tell ya it was more like a big giant washing machine. Interestingly enough it is the five year anniversary of it, but at any rate the lightning plains was bullshit. Hell I even liked Final Fantasy X and even I called bullshit on that dodge lightning 200 times in a row thing. Great video as ever man. Keep the good work up, this was the highlight of my day.

  • Poipoi

    I also shamelessly cheated in this game.

  • Poipoi

    Maybe he feels loved when thrown?

  • Poipoi

    Maybe Black Lantern Tidus will be more amusing now that he is both undead and evil? And maybe we’ll get to see him die again!

  • Anonymous

    this was truly some epic shit man, spoony you are made of awesome

  • Anonymous

    I oh so missed a final fantasy review by Spoony. Loved the black lantern section but I really want to punch you in the face for the beginning! I had a near death experience chocking with my meal because I burst into insane laughter when the vuvuzelas kicked in.

  • Anonymous

    And just imagine, FFIX is still worse than it from a plot perspective at least. The dialogue is somewhat better in IX.

    On the other, FFX-2 is just a big steaming pile of crap on gamers everywhere…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PXH6G24AA76YTV2ZGQOAGIDI34 El CHOj

    Bwah ha ha ha!! Spoony you amuse me so. Keep it up good sir.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PXH6G24AA76YTV2ZGQOAGIDI34 El CHOj

    Bwah ha ha ha!! Spoony you amuse me so. Keep it up good sir.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Duarte/100000444656764 Justin Duarte

    omfg that ending was so epic!! the problem i’ve had with your green screen stuff in the past was how flat your backgrounds were but this was just pure WIN!!

  • Anonymous

    In reference to your final question, why send people at all if they just get better later? Well, I seem to recall some dialog early in the game that says that unsent spirits USUALLY return as monsters. Only particularly strong spirits return as human-ish beings with their sanity intact (such as Seamore or Auron.) Not that I’m defending this game, oh, no. The story is still complete crap. I’m just saying that. I dunno if you forgot (or skipped) this bit of info, or if I’m remembering it wrong, or if you simply ignored it to make a joke, just posting this for you.

    Also, your reviews are great, and I love the fact that you named Tidus Meg Ryan. Oh, and the Vuvuzala thing was funny too.

  • http://twitter.com/TrevorBiggs Trevor Biggs

    Is it weird that I’m FAR more interested in the Black Lantern Spoony plot than the FFX plot?

  • Anonymous

    FF X just keeps getting worse and worse. Maybe the series will get so bad that when it’s unveiled like some new Apple product it will go back on itself and people will think they were playing FFVI again.

  • Matsern

    Great part, Noah. Thanks! Still, I think the battlesystem in ff x makes up for a lot of its flaws. Not all of them ofc, but some. There are still plenty of plotholes to come, and I really look forward to the epic showdown with cosTidus.

    Ohh, and lastly I will add a challenge; in the future, I would really love to hear you review FF X-2. You won’t have to review it all to complete this challenge, however. Last 15 minutes+, and you’ve cleared it. I think that review would top your painlist as a gamereviewer easily. If you dont have it I’ll gladly send you my copy of it, that Gamestop (being a bunch of fucking idiots) refused to let me return. I couldn’t play that game after i saw the opening FMV.

  • Anonymous

    Ending was Legen… wait for it… DARY!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Georg-Veramme/719603017 Georg Veramme

    Is it ok I like Black Lantern Spoony’s story more then FFX?

  • Anonymous

    What else can I add other than I thought this video was awesome and this game’s plot retarded. I didn’t think too much on this plot and motivation stuff when I was playing video games, and I wonder if the writers were banking on the same thing when they were making these kinds of games.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4812139 Andrew Ballard

    I burst out laughing in the first minute. That’s always a good sign.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony I have sad news, If you think the boss battle against Seymour in Macalania was annoying, wait for Bevelle, AND Mt. Gagazet, and a final fight in the final location I shall not discolse for plot spoilers.

  • Anonymous

    Awesome video Spoony! I know you’ve been working yourself like a slave to get this video completed, but the end result was totally worth it. I feel bad that you’ve been probably giving yourself an ulcer the size of a gunblade, but I’ll continue to enjoy the end results of your labor!

    Anyone else think that the conclusion video will be a special effects extrrrrrrrraaaavanganza?

  • http://twitter.com/UnholySaint2 Nick Lombardi

    i like that black lanturn spoony is back, i only shudder at the thought of you dressed like titus.

  • Anonymous

    For all it’s worth every character in gaming seems to have the Ratchet and Clank grind boots. I meen fuck at least Ratchet HAS special boots, everyone else seems to pull metal adesive shoes out of their asses.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah! Omg the vuvuzelas and the ..uhm..Argentinian commentator shouting goaaaaaaaaaaaaaal made me laugh out loud as well hehehe.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Mc/100000152293904 Eric Mc

    Spoony what have you done!?

    By adding the Dune soundtrack you made the game wayyyy more awesome then it really is.

  • http://twitter.com/Yadokingu Sag Ichnet

    Btw. sppony I can’t really understand your rant about why you would ever send people to the far plane.
    You even have a clip of Lulu explaining it really well in the last part of your review: “They envy the living and over time time that envy turns to hate.”

    You could even argue that that’s what happened to Simor.

    Ofcourse it doesn’t happen to Auron because he is fucking badass, but you usually can’t take the chance, seeing as the dead are virtually indestructable, as you so very well put it.
    Imagine an undead pissed off army.

    Other than that (and the Yuna kidnapped by her uncle part) all your other critisms are spt on and this was a really fun video. ^^

  • Alpha_Ryvius

    Great video Spoony, hilarious as always. I was one of the ones that did the dodge 200 lightning bolts at the Thunder plains. All that just for some hidden weapon/item, can’t even recall what it was. It truly was a maddening experience.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TornadoCreator Billy McKenna

    OK. I’ve sent Doug the same message multiple times now… but on Spoony Experiment it seems like peoples comments actually get listened to so I’ll say it here as well.

    Spoony, if you have any control over the adverts at the beginning of your videos please stop using the SAAB advert with the “Sweedish”, “Aerodynamic” etc. clickable options. It makes my browser crash, and it’s only that one advert. There are plenty of people who have commented on YouTube versions of Nostalgia Critic episodes that they cannot watch videos on TGWTG because of this one advert now. Luckily your videos seem to only play adverts about half the time, so after a third attempt this loaded for me without issue but that advert is a big issue and could cost you viewers as well as lowers the production quality of the site. Obviously I realise you need adverts or you get no income, I wouldn’t complain about that, but that one advert is clearly poorly written java… if there’s anything you can do please do.

  • http://twitter.com/ThePopeMichael Michael Robbins

    For some reason Spoony was quite wet throughout the video. It was distracting. O_O

  • Anonymous

    That was a fantastic review! In particular, I loved the ending- Black Lantern Spoony’s voice and the very subtle make-up have made for quite the character. I can’t wait to see more of him, and his plans for Titus, in the conclusion! My only caveat? Lantern rings are worn on the MIDDLE finger, not the RING finger. Sorry to be the massive geek on the message board, but every time Black Lantern Spoony pops up, that bothers me just a little bit more.

  • http://twitter.com/Yadokingu Sag Ichnet

    Well if one summoner could destroy Sin. But all a summoner does with the final summon is destroy sind temporarily. A few years later it comes back.

    Now you could say that this still saves a lot of lifes. But do you really know? Maybe Sin just makes up for the years it lost by killing even more.

    Btw. in addition to the summoner dying his or her lov interest becomes sin, killing countless people in the future. That’s really icky if you ask me.

  • http://twitter.com/Doomknight66 Matthew Barr

    the whole “my story” from tidus makes A LOT more sense at the end of the game, but i don’t want to spoil anything

  • http://twitter.com/thevwf Brad Millar

    You know… I don’t play any of the FF games, but man these things are entertaining, if only for the point outs of obvious plot holes.

  • http://twitter.com/Yadokingu Sag Ichnet

    I actually quite liked 9.

    But yah X-II is horrible. I hated the combat systemso much that I only got about 10 minutes into the game. Seriously how can you screw up a combat system so much in a direct sequel? Usuallyyou just stick with th old one and be done with it.

  • Anonymous

    I can’t just sit here silently while you slander FFIX’s excellently-balanced, irreverent yet tear-jerkingly dramatic plot.

  • Anonymous

    Oh-hohoh, I was waiting for this… *Goes viewing*

    Brilliant usage of the Vuvuzella and the transition of audio by the way. As for the whole protagonist mix-up… I imagine that it’s because they think people need a more mundane character to relate to, mundane in personality and not in profession apparently, as most of these mundane characters tend to be a bit over the top. Such as a superstar in FFX and a low-end thief in FFXII, or for the girls, a virgin summoner turned popstar in FFX-2…

    Oh and, nice of you to not make any mention of the rehashed character archtypes, such as what’s refered to in Yahtzee’s Zero Punctuation (Exemple: Kookie Spice = Yuffie, Selphie, Rikku. Seriously, they’re roughly the same, personality wise.)

    By the by, nice cohesiveness on the whole. The clone story arc, the pink-bubbly-son of Dr. Insano. And I dread to see what’ll happen next.

  • Anonymous

    You really think people care much for the plot by this point if they’ve been looking at his review?

    And I’m quite sure he’s not going to be all too happy for re-experiencing it. As apparently he’s on his second playthrough… Either that or his clone used his original’s New game + save.

  • Anonymous

    Fair enough but Seymour’s always a bastard as a boss or a character. For all who don’t know the last battle wit Seymour is INSIDE Sin, and I’ve just thought. How the hell did he get there before me?

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, but don’t they all eventually degrade into Lovecraftian abominations over time if they remain unsent?

  • http://twitter.com/totem91 peter pountidis

    How come I like both the review (so far) and the game?
    I’m one of the people who’ve dodged 200 consecutive thunderstrikes to get Lulu’s sigil and create her legendary weapon (the Onion Knight). Beating Penance is one of my all time gaming milestones…
    The overall quality of the review almost makes the wait worthwhile!
    I need my part 4!

    • Poipoi

      You’re not alone on liking the reviews and the game.

  • Anonymous

    I love your reviews of the Final Fantasy games because, even though I love these games, you make me realize all of the EXTREMELY RETARDED story elements and writing of this game. Like the Al Bhed(sp?) sending giant killer machines to murder the guardians of the summoner, just to save the one summoner from sacrificing herself to kill a monster that kills millions of people. But despite this, I still enjoy the game :). Anyway, great review Spoony! I can’t wait for the conclusion!

  • Anonymous

    YES THE REVIEW CONTINUES AND NOW I AM STARTING TO AGREE WITH SPOONY!!! Never really cared in the begining. Z:P

  • Anonymous

    Funny review like always, but as the one who liked this game I have some things to point out.

    1) Tidus not fitting to be protagonist. Personally I don’t mind him. Yes, Tidus can be whinny and silly, he is not a great character, but he is not a bad one for me. For me he stupid moments were somehow funny, and about his whinny ones… I have seen worse and he did grow up towards the game. Personally I like more growing up and developing characters than the ones who are great in everything because backstory says so.
    I am the one who putted on tvtropes that he is a subversion of a decoy protagonist. Yes, Yuna is the one who is in the centre of plot for the most of game, but not for finale. It’s not just a connection with Sin.
    —MAJOR SPOILER AHED—
    In the end, Yuna and Tidus changes the roles and he is the one who sacrifices his life as the chosen one of Faiths and she in unaware of this. And he had a lot of time to consider this.
    —MAJOR SPOILER END—
    But, that’s also not only that. People hating Tidus miss few things that he actually does. He is the one who prevents rest of the team from turning into bunch of emos. I mean, watch scenes when Wakka says that his team is the worst one, Rikku doesn’t know how to save Yuna, even Auron goes slightly emo about cycle going on, and everybody are about to give up fighting with Sin because ship’s weapon was broken. How does Tidus answer? That they are going to win, no matter what.
    Yes, Auron would be awesome, but I believe that it was intentional to not have obvious hero of story. And yes, it sad that the best Tidus scene was in Dissidia, not in FFX.

    2) Yuna’s plan to make a deal with villain. At last unlike FF 7 and 8, she had guarantee that he won’t kill her.

    3) Sphere after boss. Yes, boss was forced but telling that there was nothing important to plot about sphere? I think that massage that Jecht left for Tidus about being stuck in Spira and accepting his fate trying to move on, what showed him in positive light for a player and Tidus had some plot importance and made them develop.

    4) Death makes you indestructible. You need a lot of strong will to stay as a aware human after death, most of people lost their senses with time or turn into Fiends. And it was shown many times in game.

    5) Al Bhed kidnapping summoners.Well, summoners only make Sin go away for some amount of time, and Al Bhed believed that technology will allow them to defeat Sin (and it turned out that they were right). Good fanfic could fix all, with Al Bhed wanting to use help of summoners to gain approval of their actions and founds for their super weapons. But yeah, it should be in game.

    6) How did they ended on desert. Well, didn’t Sin carried them there? That how I was thinking about this. But yeah, it was massy.

    7) Tidus being blind about sacrifice – well, he was not the brightest person (but not that dump as Wakka). He was naive and optimistic, so that Yuna is willingly going to die just didn’t crossed his mind (and that he was encouraging her to die whole time was what made him so mad). Alos, Issaru’s brother asked also about sacrifice, so also he wasn’t aware. Yeah, kid has no more than 13 years, but that still more than amount of weeks that Tidus have spent on Spira.

    8) Wakka line – EVERYBODY in game had your reaction. Including Wakka after few moments.

  • Anonymous

    Vaan and Penelo were NEVER meant to be in FFXII; originally Basch was supposed to be the hero, but half of the development team (who were the team that designed FFIX; the other half was the FF Tactics team) threw a HUGE tantrum to the point that the director, Matsuno, said “Fuck you, I don’t have to put up with this” and left. Explains why XII’s plot was such a mess and why Vaan and Penelo are so out of place (heck, even Ashe is a bit out of place)

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrewrg1 Andrew Resch Gillespie

    Damn! Now THAT’S an awesome review. Especially the ending, great work with that Spoony. Hope you don’t go too overboard on FF12 though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    Best Ending to a review ever. I can’t wait for the final part. Black Lantern Spoony rules.

  • Anonymous

    Funny review like always, but as the one who liked this game I have some things to point out.

    1) Tidus not fitting to be protagonist. Personally I don’t mind him. Yes, Tidus can be whinny and silly, he is not a great character, but he is not a bad one for me. For me he stupid moments were somehow funny, and about his whinny ones… I have seen worse and he did grow up towards the game. Personally I like more growing up and developing characters than the ones who are great in everything because backstory says so.
    I am the one who putted on tvtropes that he is a subversion of a decoy protagonist. Yes, Yuna is the one who is in the centre of plot for the most of game, but not for finale. It’s not just a connection with Sin.
    —MAJOR SPOILER AHED—
    In the end, Yuna and Tidus changes the roles and he is the one who sacrifices his life as the chosen one of Faiths and she in unaware of this. And he had a lot of time to consider this.
    —MAJOR SPOILER END—
    But, that’s also not only that. People hating Tidus miss few things that he actually does. He is the one who prevents rest of the team from turning into bunch of emos. I mean, watch scenes when Wakka says that his team is the worst one, Rikku doesn’t know how to save Yuna, even Auron goes slightly emo about cycle going on, and everybody are about to give up fighting with Sin because ship’s weapon was broken. How does Tidus answer? That they are going to win, no matter what.
    Yes, Auron would be awesome, but I believe that it was intentional to not have obvious hero of story. And yes, it sad that the best Tidus scene was in Dissidia, not in FFX.

    2) Yuna’s plan to make a deal with villain. At last unlike FF 7 and 8, she had guarantee that he won’t kill her.

    3) Sphere after boss. Yes, boss was forced but telling that there was nothing important to plot about sphere? I think that massage that Jecht left for Tidus about being stuck in Spira and accepting his fate trying to move on, what showed him in positive light for a player and Tidus had some plot importance and made them develop.

    4) Death makes you indestructible. You need a lot of strong will to stay as a aware human after death, most of people lost their senses with time or turn into Fiends. And it was shown many times in game.

    5) Al Bhed kidnapping summoners.Wwell, summoners only make Sin go away for some amount of time, and Al Bhed believed that technology will allow them to defeat Sin (and it turned out that they were right). Good fanfic could fix all, with Al Bhed wanting to use help of summoners to gain approval of their actions and founds for their super weapons. But yeah, it should be in game.

    6) How did they ended on desert. Well, didn’t Sin carried them there? That how I was thinking about this. But yeah, it was massy.

    7) Tidus being blind about sacrifice. Well, he was not the brightest person (but not that dump as Wakka). He was naive and optimistic, so that Yuna is willingly going to die just didn’t crossed his mind (and that he was encouraging her to die whole time was what made him so mad). Alos, Issaru’s brother asked also about sacrifice, so also he wasn’t aware. Yeah, kid has no more than 13 years, but that still more than amount of weeks that Tidus have spent on Spira.

    8) Wakka line – EVERYBODY in game had your reaction. Including Wakka after few moments.

  • Anonymous

    You refrenced Hurricane Katrina in a video which was posted on the same day of it’s fifth anniversary. Either you are a great planner, or the planets have just aligned. Also, am I the only one who actually noticed this?

  • Anonymous

    ya’know with spoony he doesn’t need fancy editing really, although i think he feels the need to, even though i know that we’d be just as happy with minimal editing

  • Ubersnuber

    Finally!
    Great stuff! I think you’ve overused the counter gag, but hey.
    Your let’s plays and game reviews is what makes me come back to this place.

  • Anonymous

    Hey… About 7:50ish… “Beware the sacrilege!” Thought you could get that past me, huh?

  • Anonymous

    The laughing part really got me.

  • Poipoi

    I think I would have been happier if Vaan wasn’t in the game. They presented us with these nifty looking characters and then leave us with a main character that was hard to connect with.

    I felt more connection with Tidus then I did Vaan or Penelo.

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    LOL, great intro. I love Blitzball. :3

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oliver-Meyer/1288596186 Oliver Meyer

    I know what you’re trying to say, but faced with the possibility that I-don’t-know-how-many people might get killed, I would take any chance there is of getting Sin out of the picture, even if it’s only temporarily.

    Besides, IMO, the fact that it’s only a temporary solution doesn’t justify the Al-Bhed’s interference, which simply comes across as being really naive and also pretty selfish (remember “I’ll even learn how to prevent people from dying!!” ?).because, ultimately, it doesn’t solve anything. All it does is giving the Al-Bhed a false sense of accomplishment.They are trying to do good, but a) their methods are questionable at best, and b) they do so for all the wrong reasons and without thinking their actions through.

  • Anonymous

    THIS REVIEW WAS HILLARIOUS!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4PXGCKNEBDJ3CWD3R7OE5DA7QQ Roberto

    Black Lantern Spoony again? something tells me that spoony needs to be cloned in advanced whenever he does a Final Fantasy review

  • http://twitter.com/KFJ943 Kristinn Freyr

    I just remember where I got stuck in FFX. Seymour(s)

  • http://twitter.com/TheTeamAET Team AET

    First i must admit this is the best review i have ever seen. Amazing how you made this effect at the end and after a long long time this was the first video i actually saw without doing something else.^^
    Seymour is such a missplaced character. I really love this game, but he is just plain and simple fail. Our main villain is a rapist… wtf! But on the other hand i think you were a little too harsh with the story. Talking about some characters are idiots in this game – year and they are supposed to be this. Wakka is for sure no superintelligent max brain and Yuna is, i think, only totally in shock about the many decisions, she has to make and therefore she decides to do something really, really stupid. It matches her character ’cause she is shown to us as a very sacrificing person – therefore she wants to marry him.
    I think i learned by now that u hate Tidus, but i believe you are way off about him. He was a “cool blitzballer” with no thoughts about his life and after one second he is driven into a world of darkness and fear. His reactions must be seen under his strugle for his past. Your complains about many characters are, that they react stupid or plain and simple wrong but this is the way we like ‘em. These characters are in their stupidity more believable ’cause noone is perfect and makes therefore mistakes.
    To the plot: Oh, there are a lot of senseless actions. The part coming from ice to desert wasn’t such a problem for me. I simply thought that sin brought them there on her personal own after making them unconscious ’cause in fact sin wants to die. But the problem begins with the assault which you pointed out. This war would make any sense if it would have started before Yuna’s history. (Year Yuna’s not Tidus, ’cause let’s face facts, she is the main character.) But then there is a very deep lack of explanation why the fuck the guado attack. To get Yuna back? Bullshit…
    I think if you are willing to do, you can bridge nearly every stupid event on your own, but i think you are right expecting this explanation from the story.

    oh hell so much story from me ^^, greetings from germany spoony
    PS: waiting for part 4 take your time to make it as great as this one :D

  • http://twitter.com/wraithofslime Chris… something?

    Can I get my Negator with metal spikes to defend against blitz balls?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Seminara/827845376 Daniel Seminara

    You have soccer references in a Final Fantasy review, and you don’t have Zidane from Final Fantasy 9 headbutting someone?

    Also, the whole thing about this game dragging with the same predictable pattern reminds me so much of Tales of Vesperia at times. Go through a dungeon, kill a monster, sleep at an inn and talk to everyone, a party member wants to leave so they have to be convinced to stay, and then we go to the next dungeon. That game gets so great in parts, but when it drags, it’s about ten times worse than Final Fantasy 10.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony’s eyes just look dead inside when I see his face.

    Stop doing this, man, it’s killing you!

  • http://twitter.com/Cellsplitter Jimmy Johansson

    Ok I have to say it. the Dune bit, Laughed my ass off ^^

  • http://www.facebook.com/SuperSunshine21 ダール ダニエル

    The wait was long, but oh so well worth it :D

  • Anonymous

    This review had EPIC written all over it.Nicely done!Im a fan of the game despite all its flaws and you actually made me wanna have an other go at it.
    p.s:Great Effects

  • Anonymous

    Awesome video!
    it was worth the wait….

    the ending was epic….

  • Anonymous

    Awesome video!
    it was worth the wait….

    the ending was epic….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Antonio-Fernandez/1496985961 Antonio Fernandez

    To be concluded?! awww, and i was just starting to really get into it :(

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7KCIT5IY3KJDOCIJDQVSKGO5QA Eric

    I spent an evening dodging the 200 lightning bolts at a friends house between turns playing a board game or something, I don’t even remember, and a storm rolled in. I finished dodging the lightning bolts just as we finished..I think it was Risk..and so I saved the game and left after claiming my nerd trophy (Lulu’s Sigil). On the way home my truck was struck by lightning, I still shit bricks about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Antonio-Fernandez/1496985961 Antonio Fernandez

    to be concluded?! awwww and i was just really getting into it :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    I said the exact same things when I played this game.

    Nothing makes any sense, unless you buy the whole ‘magic’ plot device, in which you might as well be watching Sailor Moon. None of the characters are relate-able or consistent, except for Auron, and the entire time you are left wondering both why he isn’t the main character, and why he even bothers leading this pack of whiny incessant toddlers around. I mean, I felt worse when Auron was ‘sent’, than I did when Tidus ‘fades away’. I was pretty happy when Tidus faded away, actually.

    And exactly what was Seymour’s angle? What was his real motivation? What was he hoping to accomplish? And why the fuck is he not the main villian? Narratives make stories, and all we ever hear of Jecht is Tidus whining about how mean he was to him, how he never hugged him, and etc… I didn’t even get the impression at all that Sin was the villian in the story, I mean Seymour had an entire city destroyed(Rikku’s home, can’t remember the name), he led the attack against Sin, knowing full well that Sin would destroy everything and everyone, and at the same time completely blasphemizing the religion he was the ‘Grand Maester’ of. I mean the guy is a walking moral contradiction at every point in the story, he makes every attempt to sabotage and destroy the party, theres no reason he shouldn’t have been the main villain.

    Also, your looking a bit pale, Spoony. Don’t stay up too late torturing yourself with this game. Its not worth it.

    You should really consider playing FF9, though. I guarantee if you give it a chance, you will love it. Zidane is probably the most like-able leader that there is in a Final Fantasy game(Ramza would be a very close second).

  • Poipoi

    It just occurred to me… Auron may have been trying to kill off Tidus with the excuse of fetching a sphere from the forest.

    ” Hmmm, if Tidus dies I can be the main character. ”

  • http://twitter.com/Okanehira Okanehira

    I think you should have either done the vuvuzela/football thing all over the intro or cut it before it started, having it fade 1/4 of the way through was just kind of akward.

    Aside from from that the review was awesome i was laughing loads – you have some really insightful points to make and keep it funny. Fantastic!

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    Making stupid unrelatable characters purposefully is not an excuse for making stupid unrelatable characters. You can say “oh, no one is perfect,” but that’s a cop-out at best. You can have characters confused and stunned without being complete dumbasses. Yuna’s trained basically her entire life to perform ceremonies like the Sending. So why didn’t she default to her training that has been drilled in to her brain to Send Seymour? Because she’s an idiot. Tidus shows absolutely no glimmer of basic comprehension, with the “I’m on the Zanarkand Abes” in the earlier video DIRECTLY AFTER HE WAS TOLD NOT TO MENTION ZANARKAND. So your fake main character and your should-have-been main character are both complete morons purely to drive the plot forward. That’s bad writing. It’s terrible writing. If at any point in your narrative, you rely on a character performing an absolutely pants-on-head-retarded action in order to proceed, and completely fail to justify taking that action, then you have completely and utterly failed as a storyteller. This is an indisputable point.

    As for “[Tidus] was a “cool blitzballer” with no thoughts about his life and after one second he is driven into a world of darkness and fear. His reactions must be seen under his strugle for his past.” No, his reactions must not be seen that way, they must be *shown* to us that way. And they’re not. If the narrative doesn’t make the effort, it should not rely on the observer to conjure up the framework on his or her own. But that’s exactly what you’re doing. The game hasn’t extended any form of effort to show how Tidus is trying to figure out a place in this world that he may be stuck in, or much concern for the world he left behind. Hell, he just jumps straight back to playing blitzball. Which, after 1,000 years, has apparently undergone absolutely no rules changes that matter, despite every sport in our world undergoing rules modifications nearly yearly, so someone from even a decade ago would need to be brought up to speed to play professionally. It would have actually been an amazing story point and moment of character development if he’d tried to play blitzball and then discovered it wasn’t the familiar sport he was so good at. Hell, it’s not given any marked importance to him at all. You don’t even get a vibe from Tidus of “Well, my world is crumbling, everything I’ve ever known is gone, and my life is in danger, but at least I can still turn to blitzball as a rock.” Tidus absolutely fails as a character of any depth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Gane/100000020837046 Tom Gane

    I agree with all of the above, especially Zidane being one of the most likable.

    What I’ve wondered for a while, is who the main protagonist of FFVI is? Locke or Terra….both are pretty decent characters. Locke maybe a bit weird with the whole preserving his dead girlfriend thing. (forgive me if I got this wrong it’s been a while since I played all the way through.

    But I feel one of the worst protagonists was Cecil from FFIV. I played the first hour of that game and got nothing but incessant whining! I didn’t know the Dark Knight class took their name so literally when it came to emotions!

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    Over-used the counter? Not at all. He’s only got two different counters, each one showing something different and terrible about the game, exactly like the original fuse box counter gag in the Thing review. Now we need a counter count to keep track of all the different counters he’s had in all his videos. Then it might be an overused gag. :p

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jovan-Stipic/1520802005 Jovan Stipic

    HELL YEAH SPOONY KEEP IT UP

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    From people I’ve talked to in various forums, I’m fairly certain that no one who uses blip ads has any control over which ads show, it’s simply opt-in and opt-out. You can pick what kinds of ads (pre-roll, post-roll, pop-over), but that’s it. Being able to pick individual ads would be much more difficult on blip’s end, and would likely reduce revenue shares by an excessive amount, so I can understand why it’s done that way.

    That said, I’d suggest using a different browser in those circumstances. I’ve heard from many firefox users that Ad Block Plus stops blip’s ads, so using that temporarily would probably be a good idea. Personally, I use Opera, and I’ve never had any issues with any of the ads, so that’s an option as well.

  • Anonymous

    I swear, after Wakka’s line about Pretty Fireworks Display I was pulling the exact same face as the one Spoony had when it cut away. I think I finally understand his agony at even contemplating this game. ^_^

  • http://twitter.com/Gatecleaner Dirk Spaans

    I did the ultimate weapons, but I never bothered with most of the sigils like the 100 lighting dodges.

    Only good hing is that the Ultima Weapons get some extra effects anyways.

    Spoony should play FFIX, if only to make some sense how Garland and the 4 Fiends are in it :P I know every FF game isn;t connected with eachother, but he could tie the FF1 time loop with it :P

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    Okay, so Auron didn’t turn. “Because he’s badass” isn’t a valid reason. Even if it was, there must be others who could have withstood corruption. So it’s not an absolute. Why not figure out a way to prevent that envy? Actually, better question: Why do they envy? It seems like they’re still capable of everything living people are. A better explanation of that would have helped.

    Best idea yet. Instead of sending everyone, only send ones who have started down the dark path. Summoners become a combination of ghost psychiatrists and ghostbusters. Seems like what Yuna was trying to do any way.

  • Anonymous

    I bought this game and played it all the way through, yet none of this seems familiar to me. That’s actually pretty cool, i just remember that i really fucking hated this game, and that blitzball is the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever seen.

    It really does amaze me that i just dont remember any of this bullshit. There truly is Nepenthe my friends.

  • Anonymous

    Seymour’s big evil plan was to have him become the final Aion, Defeat Sin, get resurrected as the new Sin, and then rule the world by killing everyone (Of Course!). How he was going to get around the whole mind-control thing inherent in the death/rebirth cycle is anyone’s guess.

  • http://twitter.com/Jezzy54 Jesse WilliamsFuller

    I loved this. Really looking forward to the conclusion with Black Lantern Tidus. Although I don’t know why Tidus is dead. Speaking of Tidus, I have to admit I think he looks pretty hot, probably because he almost counts as a girl. Even then he’s still annoying as all hell.

  • http://twitter.com/dxmagma dylen shirley

    OH MY GOD! black lantern spoony is stuck in Constantine! someone help him!

  • http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

    Spoony you are NOT going to dress up like Tidus in the finale, are you?

    PLEASE GOD NOO!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tim-Widhalm/100000603668735 Tim Widhalm

    Man I was hoping for a big review but I’ll take a 4 part review if it’s long. Hopefully Part 4 is 35+ minutes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Raizoku/710678347 Matthew Raizoku

    Oh god you’re dressing up as Tidus aren’t you!?

    The horror awaits, also this has to be the most confusing bloody story for a game so far.

  • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

    Dude, I love seeing so many people love FF9 and say that Spoony would like some things. Dude, really, I love you guys. I know he’d probably like Zidane and maybe he’d even appreciate the depth of every single character- he might even like how the game sort of acknowledges how naive the naive characters are. But then we have the stuff the Spoony WON’T enjoy- the entire art style of the game being one. The forced Tetra Master battle in which you have to win twice- I doubt he’d enjoy mognet and Chocobo Hot and Cold is addicting but monotonous- something Spoony made very certain he dislikes. Do I wish he’d give FF9 a chance? Yes and no. Yes because it would be nice if he liked it and played it long enough to enjoy how deep the game really is- no because he won’t take the immense amount of time it took me and various others to completely understand and enjoy FF9. Necron doesn’t seem so out of place if you play more than once or listen to the throw backs to FF1, but Necron and the function of Terra and etc do seem out of place if you already have many things to dislike and feel biased. Not to mention he’d hate Kuja. You know he would. He’d hate the shit out of Kuja and when your seemingly biggest bad is not relatable until nearly the end of his premiere, you either have to be able to appreciate the rest of the game immensely or you’ll just consider it to fall on it’s face.

  • Joesmom

    ummm spoony please never do that dead thing at the end where you have the weird voice, IT FUCKING TRIPPED ME OUT. I think i’m actually scared of you now. No seriously I need moar! great fucking job!

  • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

    REALLY?

    You’re saying that the plot which is solely based upon the fear of dying, the most human fear there is, is worse than the babyish feelings of these nitwits who can’t do anything but defy fate without giving two shits? Spoony respected P3 in the end, remember? Funny how they did similar things but believably whereas this game just said whatever and Spoony CALLED IT OUT ON IT. In FFIX the entire plot revolved around making the world destroy itself with all the things the world normally does – gluttony, greed, lust, wrath- you name it, it’s somewhere in FFIX destroying the characters. And ultimately, this was done by another world that had done it to countless worlds before simply because it was afraid of dying for good. Unlike every other FF this did a complete circle around and didn’t just focus on one element of the human psyche (like how greed destroyed the planet in FF7, or the self fulfilling prophecy and fear of dying in FF8) it focused on all of them and ultimately in different and unique ways. Where do I belong? Why was I born? Will I die soon? Will I never be able to do what’s expected of me? Will I always be alone? Will I never be able to fend for myself and find things I like on my own? Did I lose myself when I swore to serve someone else? Will our entire civilization be lost for good?

    If you think FFX even comes CLOSE to how deep and beautiful FFIX is? You are blind and did not play it long enough.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-J-Wyatt/522015346 Chris J. Wyatt

    The vuvuzelas at the start! I had to restart the video three times it was too funny!

    GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  • Anonymous

    i actually love this game but spoony is hilarious about it ^.^

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Spoony! AH today is like Christmas!

  • Anonymous

    Hey I love the game and his reviews too. Same with FFVIII

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GQWPLJ3ELXGRY3JDNKLW4WESZM MarkD

    Am I about to see Spoony dress up as Tidus for the finale? This is gonna be AWESOME!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rjbates Robert Jeffery M Bates

    Ha! I enjoy your Final Fantasy reviews way to much. yes the toxin part never made any sense we all know that. I look forward to seeing you give the big kiss scene the same hell you gave to VIII

  • Princess Stabbity

    Win. I can’t believe I forgot all about Wakka’s need for sensitivity training. And why the heck didn’t Insano plan ahead for Blitz Balls? Honestly, that’s the first thing you should always plan for in any product. That and ferrets. Because they will get up in there and wreck that.
    Now.. someone call a White Lantern! This has to stop before Spoony is lost forever!! Of course it may already be too late if he dresses as Tidus…

  • Anonymous

    That would make sense if Square-enix had made Auron and Balthier the protagonist of their respective game, as they represent well loved character archetype, badass stoic drunkard swordman type and roguish sky pirate han solo-type, instead of whiny, annoying girly-man.

  • http://renaissance-geek.blogspot.com/ Jaebird

    Oh, God; I HATED the Thunder Plains. And yes, I did dodge the lightning 100 times, because I was an idiot >_>

    Great review, and I cannot wait for more. Btw, the distortion effect on your Black Lantern voice is much, much better than in the first one.

  • http://twitter.com/MatthewMk2 Matthew S

    Awesome Spoony!

  • Clifford

    Ah, yes, NOW I remember why I muted the TV every time the cut scenes came on. And why I finally said fuck it and stopped playing this game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/RTRicharii Richard Richardson

    Another Job well done, Spoony one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rodrigo.ibarra3 Rodrigo Ibarra

    That movie was not bad!!! :(
    He could have been stuck in Twilight.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Novak83 Ed Novak

    Holy crap, I got way farther in this game than I remember. Almost everything from the last two parts of the review has seemed completely unfamiliar, but all of a sudden we hit the wedding scene and I’m like, “Oh yeah, here’s where I got sick of this stupid fucking game and quit.”

    Awesome review. Black Lantern Spoony was particularly epic.

  • http://twitter.com/Deimos1984ad Zak Mahmud

    Geez with my temper hotter than a rabid wolf I would not be able to tolerate these halfwits known as the heroes of FF 10 especially the chick Tidus. By the way Black Lantern Spoony is bad ass, awesome demonic voice as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Filipe-Isabelinho/100000173498272 Filipe Isabelinho

    “If the villains down you finish him off, otherwise he’ll come back from beyond the grave if need be to bite you right in the ass”.

    Suddenly I start thinking why the hell doesn’t batman just effin KILL the frigging Joker…

  • Anonymous

    Y’know… Not to be an ass or to offend here, but I gotta kinna call bullshit on the ending.

    “Black Lantern” Spoony and “Rat Brain” Spoony already went through this earlier when the lantern was off. Spoony killed himself and re-gained his black lantern form to get away from the show after the clone Spoony was giving him the show to get away from reviewing FFX in the first place. Heck, clone Spoony offered the show to him, so why would the original, after rejecting the show want to kill the clone to regain it when he could have done so earlier without conflict?

    Still… it’ll be interesting to see the final battle.

  • Anonymous

    Not to sound like an ass, but I gotta call bullshit on Black Lantern Spoony’s appearance at the ending.

    Why does he want to re-take the show back by force, when he already could have taken it back without conflict at the beginning? Also, even if he returns to get the show back, would Clone Spoony really put up a fight this time?

    Although it sets up for a potentially awesome showdown, it just causes a plot hole almost as bad as some of the ones mentioned in this review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Joseph-Deibler/31806865 Daniel Joseph Deibler

    Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  • Anonymous

    even if this is my favorite final fantasy i won’t deny how little sense the story makes, sometimes especially the time frame of these events, still a funny and great review, can’t wait to see more(get it, it sounds like seymour,uh nevermind). and auron or yuna would be better protagonists then tidus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ruben-Madureira/1650325638 Rúben Madureira

    Fuck yeah Motorhead! m/

  • Anonymous

    Spoony the White didn’t reject the show, he rejected doing Final Fantasy 10 for the show. Spoony the White still wants his show back. I really don’t see a glaring error here — It’s a most entertaining turn of events.

  • http://twitter.com/AxelTheNinth Thomas Savoini

    Some damn good green screen this episode! Bravo. Very funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neil-Dominick/100000184797349 Neil Dominick

    I can’t believe it’s not It Came From Beyond Midnight

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for mentioning that whole stupidity with the Thunder Plains dodging lightning crap for a reward thingy, Spoony. I don’t know if you got the idea from my comment about it on the first part of this series or somewhere else. Either way, I thank you for doing that. Means a lot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Michael-McLuhan/828785144 Matthew Michael McLuhan

    It’s 200 in a row, and I’ve done it about 10 times (my mom used to play this game a ridiculous amount of times). You get the unlock item for Lulu’s ultimate weapon.. My mom actually used to pay me 15 bucks for each Sigil (ultimate weapon unlocker) I could get for her, as she could only ever get 2 of them in the game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=52000099 Jesse Lifton

    Great stuff Spoony. Can’t wait for you to turn your sites on ff13, That game had horrible story telling and bland game play. I liked the combat system but it wasn’t enough to prevent it from becoming a tedious grind.

  • Anonymous

    “To be concluded” means the next part will be the last?

  • http://twitter.com/Brandchan Brandi Swenson

    Ever read DC comics all they ever do is whine about how they can’t kill villains or they will be on the same level as villains. Like I understand the moral high ground but for a while there I swear every DC comic I read was about that.

  • Anonymous

    “Praise be to Hubbard! That’s what I would’ve said if I was a complete assclown”. Ouch. I think Scientology just got burned. You know, Tidus makes Squall look like some sort of god-like incarnation in comparison. Tidus is sort of like the writings of Stephanie Meyer. After you’ve read some of her mind-raping crap squiggles on a page reads like a Pulitzer winner…. *shudder* I still have nightmares and I wear a tinfoil hat now so the voices don’t hurt me.Speaking of hallucinatory influences, does anyone else get the feeling that every time Auron looks at Tidus in those cutscenes he’s mentally tossing a coin to figure out whether he should knife him or not? No? Must just be me then.

    Edit: btw, Yuna: “I’ve… decided to marry Seymour”, Spoony: *water spit* – hi-fucking-larious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Even-Seberg/775463741 Even Seberg

    now im a little pissed off, i like your videos Spoony , but you suck my good man.
    let me refrase, you suck at this game, you have no clue about the story, the gameplay shown here must be by someone new to gaming and your knowledge about the game is clearly from an 2 paragraph Ecyclopedia Dramatica page.

    first of all: Tidus is the main character, its his thoughts and feeling we know throught the game as he narrates them to us, and he has a HUGE influence in the story, without him the story would have ended with Yuna summoning the final Aeon and dieing. He is a man from a different world, that doesnt like the current traditions, the sacrefice of summoners and the corrupt Yevon clergy. He is whiny, but thorwards the end og the game he have finaly gone past that (this happend graduelly, btw, like any in good story telling the characters develops, and even though all of them develop [not so much Lulu, Khimari and Rikku but do they develop] but Tidus more than anyone, which is a sign that he is the main character, he changes as the audience understanding off this world changes).

    Secondly: Seymore is supossed to seem untrustwotrthy since we se him through Tidus view, and he thinks of Seymore as a douch because he is going after Yuna. When Seymore dies the Guado gards (note this word, the GUARDS) comes in, if yuna tries to send him, they will attack her. and not everybody that dies continue living in their normal form, only the few strong willed people who cling to this world too fufil a task live in their normal form, most who stay become fiends, and Seymore’s motivation comes in the form that he wants to become Sin to take Spira’s sorrow and pain away, this is because of his death (duh) and becasue he as a young summoner had to sacrifice his own mother to create the final aeon, that fucked him up (again, Duh).

    Thirdly: when Sin took them to Bikanel, they didnt get teleported by the toxin, but sin knocked them out and carried them to Bikanel.

    fourthly: When Tidus discovers that Yuna will die, you dont mock the fact that he is sad and angry, put yourself in the same possition, say your girlfriend is going to die and everybody knows it, but none of your friends said anything to you before you found out by a third party.when that happens can we come and mock you!?

    And to finalise i have to comment on the “difficult” boss in Macalania forest, that boss is easy, every boss up to the second time you face Seymore. and Thunderplains and the other places you mentioned doesn’t take that long time, at leat if you aren’t goffing around looking for “Ass-Shots”, and this is comming from someone who usualy explores everywhere at my first playthrough.

    sorry for the harsh tone but man this is just some of the signs of someone who played the first three hours and read a badly written synnopsis without details for the rest.

  • http://twitter.com/CaptainofKrunk Danny Kirby Jr.

    X is a pretty good final fantasy. Not the best and personally surpassed by 12 but a very solid entry.

  • Anonymous

    You know what helped with the story in this game? Well a couple of things but honestly you can’t even attempt to face FF X without properly armoring yourself against its seething awfulness, its unholy lack of heart and soul, its foul stink of everything that is wrong with J-RPGs.

    First I tended to just take every area of the game as an “episode” in a very, VERY episodic anime. I’m an anime fan you see so it wasn’t all that hard to trick my brain into inserting opening and closing credits, complete with themes every time a new area or scene just seemed to happen. I know some people call that Acute Sudden Onset Schizophrenia but I call it a Survival Tactic! So Delusion is the first piece of armor I suggest if you decide to tackle FF X.

    Second, I tended to devote no less than 7 hours of play time to the game each session. I was in college when this game first rose from the Stygian depths and I didn’t have a lot of time to play it. However when I did have the time I made sure to devote my day fully to it, like a sacrifice to whatever unhallowed dire gods Square-Enix worship. In this way I felt I was getting somewhere in that M.C. Escher painting of a storyline, devoid but at the same time stuffed full of plot. So your second piece of armor is Weekends. If you’re going to waste your precious lifespan with FF X might as well fully devote yourself to its satanic orgy.

    Third, a change of consciousness. Okay I don’t want to be “that guy” the one that brings up Marijuana all the time and thinks he is cool because of it. I’m not cool, hell I’m a terrible geek that sit around playing video games all day. But… Pot helped, it helped a whole hell of a lot. It made the otherwise paper thin but still invincible wall of force that is the plot of FF X at least seem more interesting. It wasn’t more interesting of course. Oh it also helped with the violent nausea that FF X is known to cause in 4 out of 5 players (if you experience blackouts, muscle tremors, explosive diarrhea, or death please stop playing FF X immediately and consult a your doctor.) So the third piece of armor is something to change your state of mind, whatever you can do to dull your perception is a must.

    And Lastly, Share the Pain. Nothing helps more than finding someone to share the pain with, either through being in the same room with your whilst you’re playing FF X or at least do what I did. A friend of mine wanted to play FF X but didn’t have the cash for either a PS2 or the game itself, so we kinda Share-cropped the whole “experience”. He borrowed my system during the week and I took it back on the weekends. We had an arrangement so neither of us would get ahead of the other so we could share our “feelings” on the game at our weekly D&D group without spoiling anything…not that it would have mattered, rotten is as spoiled as it gets and FF X is well… Hamlet put it best “Something is rotten in the state of Zanarkand.” I paraphrase of course. So the last piece of armor you’ll need is proper usage of pain sharing. Nothing makes torture more bearable than knowing a close friend is also getting their finger nails pulled out just like yourself.

  • Anonymous

    More to the point… He killed himself because of the horror of FFX. And then Black Lantern Spoony took over. And he, of course, being evil and undead just wants to kill clone Spoony because… er, well, he’s a fun guy to kill? Honestly, I think it’s just fun to try to kill him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    Kuja is damn evil. His character isn’t hair brained in the least bit. He kicks the living shit out of the party like 3 times. He destroys an entire planet. Hes always like 2 steps ahead of you the entire game up until the end. Hes a badass, even if he dresses weird. And even in the end, you find out that he is just as human as everyone else(well, not literally). He doesn’t have a voice actor, which is great because video game voice acting is atrocious most of the time anyways. His dialog is also true-to-character, and his intentions are pretty clear throughout most of the game. And he kicks your ass too, alot. That more than makes up for his creepy sense of fashion.

    And whats neat is how they faze him into the game at a later point, in fact for the first part of the game, you think Brahme is the antagonist(up until you visit the Dragoon chick’s home city) and she does a really good job painting the picture.

    And most of the side quests like Mog-net turn out to be worthwhile, considering that they add clarification to what is happening, assuming you follow along with delivering letters as the story progresses. Vivi’s grandpa side quest would be another example of it. Chocobo Hot-and-Cold is alot of fun too, and is key in accessing the superboss.

    Most people don’t even bring up the Active Time Event system; It was genius. It gives you a real feel for the characters and adds a 3rd dimension to the narrative. They should have included it in every successive Final Fantasy, but didn’t for some idiotic reason. I think it was Sakaguchi progressively becoming less and less involved with Square that fazed it out, along with most of what made the series great; he was the real mastermind behind Final Fantasy.

    I mean honestly, the game is a masterpiece. Its my personal favorite in the entire series, and the last ‘great’ Final Fantasy, along with being a homage to the entire series.

    The score is amazing(like every score Uematsu has done) and probably the most diverse composition that Uematsu ever did. I mean, compare the feeling of ‘Dark Messenger’ to ‘Crossing the Hills’ to ‘Vamo Alla Flamenco’ to ‘Black Mage Village’ to “Melodies of Life’. Its amazing how much flavor and originality was put into the soundtrack for the game. In fact, if you can name one game with a more diverse and masterful soundtrack, I’d certainly like to hear it. Uematsu said it was the best score he ever did, and was favorite to compose and be a part of, out of every game he ever worked on(30+). I would recommend the game just to listen to the sound track, if anything. Its a true masterpiece.

    The weakest link of the entire game is Tetra Master, but its alot better than Triple Triad. Its bad, but not terrible. Second to that would be the toned down difficulty. I really wish it would have been more difficult.

    Whats a crying shame is how overlooked the game is. It deserves more respect.

    • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

      I feel that way- you feel that way. Every Final Fantasy IX fan probably finds Kuja to be credible. But look at Spoony here, it seems like his biggest beef with Seymour is one, his appearance, and two, his paper thin role as a villain. What is Kuja? These things. Seymour is powerful too, did you see Anima? I’m not doubting the awesome of Kuja. I love Kuja like you have no idea. Kuja is my favorite villain and has the best motivation. It’s no longer WAH MOMMY or MIND CONTROL or EAT THE WORLD it’s ‘I don’t want to die’. That’s his motivation for everything and that’s admirable to me. It’s not me you have to argue with- it’s Spoony. Spoony hates on characters with less ridiculous designs constantly, but Kuja? Who was originally designed as a woman? He will give no chance to Kuja. And I’ll be the first to tell you Brahne’s part as temporary antagonist really impressed me. You’re talking to the girl who’s played FFIX about 23 times since she was 8 (when the game was released) – I got you buddy.

      I hate the ATE system. It’s one of my ONLY complaints about the entire game and I don’t think there is much defending it. It’s cool enough the first time but it does little to expand sometimes and more or less to give pointless things. The required ATE’s and some of the earlier ones? Oh, those are fun. But on replays from second on ward I no longer wanted to see Garnet talk to every single villager in attempt to learn, or Steiner ask the young lady at the bar if he could help. And those are scenes that DO add on. Do I mind the ones that are additions to the plot? not as much, but dear god they could get pointless. Like the one where the entire point is to get everyone back to playing music in their instruments. It is an amazing weak point and if you like it? Good for you?…

      Oh, here we go. I am in 100% agreement with you here. This score is my favorite and it’s one of the few FF’s I did not turn off out of agitation in a few moments. Seriously- it’s got a huge variation and some parts are fun to replay just to hear certain scores. The great part about Chocobo Hot and Cold is the music- ah, it made the endless hours of KWEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! so fun. It’s still hard to swallow for some people because it is monotonous but me, I do enjoy the music…

      TETRA MASTER ARGH. Thing is, Triple Triad got you stuff…..I can reset my game if I feel like I’ll lose the rebirth ring and I typically never do. I’m a whiz at the game but the card game feels so pointless……

      It’s my personal favorite video game ever created. If I’m ever depressed I play it and Zidane himself can lift my spirits. You’re not alone, anyone? It makes me want to cry everytime. Screw eyes on you, screw the opera scene in FF6….You’re not alone dude.

      It does. This I am behind 100%

    • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

      I feel that way- you feel that way. Every Final Fantasy IX fan probably finds Kuja to be credible. But look at Spoony here, it seems like his biggest beef with Seymour is one, his appearance, and two, his paper thin role as a villain. What is Kuja? These things. Seymour is powerful too, did you see Anima? I’m not doubting the awesome of Kuja. I love Kuja like you have no idea. Kuja is my favorite villain and has the best motivation. It’s no longer WAH MOMMY or MIND CONTROL or EAT THE WORLD it’s ‘I don’t want to die’. That’s his motivation for everything and that’s admirable to me. It’s not me you have to argue with- it’s Spoony. Spoony hates on characters with less ridiculous designs constantly, but Kuja? Who was originally designed as a woman? He will give no chance to Kuja. And I’ll be the first to tell you Brahne’s part as temporary antagonist really impressed me. You’re talking to the girl who’s played FFIX about 23 times since she was 8 (when the game was released) – I got you buddy.

      I hate the ATE system. It’s one of my ONLY complaints about the entire game and I don’t think there is much defending it. It’s cool enough the first time but it does little to expand sometimes and more or less to give pointless things. The required ATE’s and some of the earlier ones? Oh, those are fun. But on replays from second on ward I no longer wanted to see Garnet talk to every single villager in attempt to learn, or Steiner ask the young lady at the bar if he could help. And those are scenes that DO add on. Do I mind the ones that are additions to the plot? not as much, but dear god they could get pointless. Like the one where the entire point is to get everyone back to playing music in their instruments. It is an amazing weak point and if you like it? Good for you?…

      Oh, here we go. I am in 100% agreement with you here. This score is my favorite and it’s one of the few FF’s I did not turn off out of agitation in a few moments. Seriously- it’s got a huge variation and some parts are fun to replay just to hear certain scores. The great part about Chocobo Hot and Cold is the music- ah, it made the endless hours of KWEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! so fun. It’s still hard to swallow for some people because it is monotonous but me, I do enjoy the music…

      TETRA MASTER ARGH. Thing is, Triple Triad got you stuff…..I can reset my game if I feel like I’ll lose the rebirth ring and I typically never do. I’m a whiz at the game but the card game feels so pointless……

      It’s my personal favorite video game ever created. If I’m ever depressed I play it and Zidane himself can lift my spirits. You’re not alone, anyone? It makes me want to cry everytime. Screw eyes on you, screw the opera scene in FF6….You’re not alone dude.

      It does. This I am behind 100%

    • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

      I feel that way- you feel that way. Every Final Fantasy IX fan probably finds Kuja to be credible. But look at Spoony here, it seems like his biggest beef with Seymour is one, his appearance, and two, his paper thin role as a villain. What is Kuja? These things. Seymour is powerful too, did you see Anima? I’m not doubting the awesome of Kuja. I love Kuja like you have no idea. Kuja is my favorite villain and has the best motivation. It’s no longer WAH MOMMY or MIND CONTROL or EAT THE WORLD it’s ‘I don’t want to die’. That’s his motivation for everything and that’s admirable to me. It’s not me you have to argue with- it’s Spoony. Spoony hates on characters with less ridiculous designs constantly, but Kuja? Who was originally designed as a woman? He will give no chance to Kuja. And I’ll be the first to tell you Brahne’s part as temporary antagonist really impressed me. You’re talking to the girl who’s played FFIX about 23 times since she was 8 (when the game was released) – I got you buddy.

      I hate the ATE system. It’s one of my ONLY complaints about the entire game and I don’t think there is much defending it. It’s cool enough the first time but it does little to expand sometimes and more or less to give pointless things. The required ATE’s and some of the earlier ones? Oh, those are fun. But on replays from second on ward I no longer wanted to see Garnet talk to every single villager in attempt to learn, or Steiner ask the young lady at the bar if he could help. And those are scenes that DO add on. Do I mind the ones that are additions to the plot? not as much, but dear god they could get pointless. Like the one where the entire point is to get everyone back to playing music in their instruments. It is an amazing weak point and if you like it? Good for you?…

      Oh, here we go. I am in 100% agreement with you here. This score is my favorite and it’s one of the few FF’s I did not turn off out of agitation in a few moments. Seriously- it’s got a huge variation and some parts are fun to replay just to hear certain scores. The great part about Chocobo Hot and Cold is the music- ah, it made the endless hours of KWEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! so fun. It’s still hard to swallow for some people because it is monotonous but me, I do enjoy the music…

      TETRA MASTER ARGH. Thing is, Triple Triad got you stuff…..I can reset my game if I feel like I’ll lose the rebirth ring and I typically never do. I’m a whiz at the game but the card game feels so pointless……

      It’s my personal favorite video game ever created. If I’m ever depressed I play it and Zidane himself can lift my spirits. You’re not alone, anyone? It makes me want to cry everytime. Screw eyes on you, screw the opera scene in FF6….You’re not alone dude.

      It does. This I am behind 100%

    • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

      I feel that way- you feel that way. Every Final Fantasy IX fan probably finds Kuja to be credible. But look at Spoony here, it seems like his biggest beef with Seymour is one, his appearance, and two, his paper thin role as a villain. What is Kuja? These things. Seymour is powerful too, did you see Anima? I’m not doubting the awesome of Kuja. I love Kuja like you have no idea. Kuja is my favorite villain and has the best motivation. It’s no longer WAH MOMMY or MIND CONTROL or EAT THE WORLD it’s ‘I don’t want to die’. That’s his motivation for everything and that’s admirable to me. It’s not me you have to argue with- it’s Spoony. Spoony hates on characters with less ridiculous designs constantly, but Kuja? Who was originally designed as a woman? He will give no chance to Kuja. And I’ll be the first to tell you Brahne’s part as temporary antagonist really impressed me. You’re talking to the girl who’s played FFIX about 23 times since she was 8 (when the game was released) – I got you buddy.

      I hate the ATE system. It’s one of my ONLY complaints about the entire game and I don’t think there is much defending it. It’s cool enough the first time but it does little to expand sometimes and more or less to give pointless things. The required ATE’s and some of the earlier ones? Oh, those are fun. But on replays from second on ward I no longer wanted to see Garnet talk to every single villager in attempt to learn, or Steiner ask the young lady at the bar if he could help. And those are scenes that DO add on. Do I mind the ones that are additions to the plot? not as much, but dear god they could get pointless. Like the one where the entire point is to get everyone back to playing music in their instruments. It is an amazing weak point and if you like it? Good for you?…

      Oh, here we go. I am in 100% agreement with you here. This score is my favorite and it’s one of the few FF’s I did not turn off out of agitation in a few moments. Seriously- it’s got a huge variation and some parts are fun to replay just to hear certain scores. The great part about Chocobo Hot and Cold is the music- ah, it made the endless hours of KWEEEEEEEEEEEH!!! so fun. It’s still hard to swallow for some people because it is monotonous but me, I do enjoy the music…

      TETRA MASTER ARGH. Thing is, Triple Triad got you stuff…..I can reset my game if I feel like I’ll lose the rebirth ring and I typically never do. I’m a whiz at the game but the card game feels so pointless……

      It’s my personal favorite video game ever created. If I’m ever depressed I play it and Zidane himself can lift my spirits. You’re not alone, anyone? It makes me want to cry everytime. Screw eyes on you, screw the opera scene in FF6….You’re not alone dude.

      It does. This I am behind 100%

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tony-Canada/1804819745 Tony Canada

    CR made a good point

    Black Lantern Spoony=Black Lantern Insano

  • Anonymous

    Well I tend to agree what Spoony is little harsh on the game I just have to say a couple of things…

    Tidus might be the “Main Character” of the game but is most defiantly by proxy. Think of it this way; if Tidus was never summoned into the world what would have changed? No really, think about it for a second. I know there are fans of the game and, as a term I’ve coined lately; “you can’t fight the fanboy tide” but you have to admit that Tidus only adds himself to the storyline. Without Tidus Yuna’s party would have been down one character. The game would have likely be a lot different granted but Tidus isn’t truly a singular force driving the story. Without him the world would have ended up worse but otherwise really couldn’t they have created ANY better character to insert? I played the Japanese version and I can tell you it doesn’t make Tidus any better. But I do agree, the story is told from his point of view that creates a false sense of importance. Plus Female main characters haven’t worked well for Square in the past so Tidus was a must have, given that 80% of RPG players are males between the ages of 13-24.

    Then there is that whole Sin thing. Okay fine, Sin used toxin to knock out and “carry” the group to the desert, that is fine. But it is terrible story telling!!! Deus ex Machina of the worst find. I make my living writing (ignore the grammar and such, how many of you do your job outside of working hours?) and I can tell you if I brought a manuscript with as many plot holes and maguffin (thank you Hitchcock for such a wonderful word) I’d be laughed out. I be doing rewrites for a month or maybe even lose my contract all together. In short, it doesn’t even make sense of Sin to have magical knockout toxic fumes that don’t kill and it makes even less sense it would bother to pick up everyone and move them to the desert unless you count “it moves the story along” which is maguffin of the highest caliber.

    Lastly, yeah that boss was cake. In fact FF X was the easiest RPG I had played at the point of its release, I didn’t ever, EVER see the game over screen. I have no idea what it looks like and could care less. Spoony’s was being hyperbolic I think so he could point out how silly that home movie, in the form a sphere was. But I do agree with you overall, he is being a little more harsh to FF X than many would enjoy. But I see the reason. We, as the consumers, have the RIGHT to demand better storytelling, better gameplay and better quality from our video games. They want to call them art? Then there, Video Games are art and thus subject to the most snarky of critics.

  • Anonymous

    Well I tend to agree what Spoony is little harsh on the game I just have to say a couple of things…

    Tidus might be the “Main Character” of the game but is most defiantly by proxy. Think of it this way; if Tidus was never summoned into the world what would have changed? No really, think about it for a second. I know there are fans of the game and, as a term I’ve coined lately; “you can’t fight the fanboy tide” but you have to admit that Tidus only adds himself to the storyline. Without Tidus Yuna’s party would have been down one character. The game would have likely be a lot different granted but Tidus isn’t truly a singular force driving the story. Without him the world would have ended up worse but otherwise really couldn’t they have created ANY better character to insert? I played the Japanese version and I can tell you it doesn’t make Tidus any better. But I do agree, the story is told from his point of view that creates a false sense of importance. Plus Female main characters haven’t worked well for Square in the past so Tidus was a must have, given that 80% of RPG players are males between the ages of 13-24.

    Then there is that whole Sin thing. Okay fine, Sin used toxin to knock out and “carry” the group to the desert, that is fine. But it is terrible story telling!!! Deus ex Machina of the worst find. I make my living writing (ignore the grammar and such, how many of you do your job outside of working hours?) and I can tell you if I brought a manuscript with as many plot holes and maguffin (thank you Hitchcock for such a wonderful word) I’d be laughed out. I be doing rewrites for a month or maybe even lose my contract all together. In short, it doesn’t even make sense of Sin to have magical knockout toxic fumes that don’t kill and it makes even less sense it would bother to pick up everyone and move them to the desert unless you count “it moves the story along” which is maguffin of the highest caliber.

    Lastly, yeah that boss was cake. In fact FF X was the easiest RPG I had played at the point of its release, I didn’t ever, EVER see the game over screen. I have no idea what it looks like and could care less. Spoony’s was being hyperbolic I think so he could point out how silly that home movie, in the form a sphere was. But I do agree with you overall, he is being a little more harsh to FF X than many would enjoy. But I see the reason. We, as the consumers, have the RIGHT to demand better storytelling, better gameplay and better quality from our video games. They want to call them art? Then there, Video Games are art and thus subject to the most snarky of critics.

  • Anonymous

    LoL, the vuvuzela-part was just classic !

  • Diggerjohn111

    I don’t know how you do it, but you just keep getting better and better. That completely rocked!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Calvin-Jarchow/1131125364 Calvin Jarchow

    If anybody needs a recap, CR did a pretty great job cataloging all the times Spoony has died and been raised in his Dr. Insano video on TGWTG. When will these fluctuations in hyper time end?! WHEN?!
    Also I think Linkara’s magic powers are just that great that he can stare down a black lantern like it’s not a big deal. A powerful ally indeed.

  • Anonymous

    Batman is also a psychological mess after all. A man that dresses up like a bat to scare criminals doens’t scream sanity to me. But he does have all kinds of morals… some more used than others and those stand as; Batman does kill and Batman doesn’t use guns… unless you count all the times when he does either of those things then well… *quietly slides back into the shadows before he gets stuck in an infinity loop*

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Calvin-Jarchow/1131125364 Calvin Jarchow

    There is one other thing I’m angry about. Just as I was about to submit my patent for the Portable Anti-Magic Field Generator, Insano beats me to the punch. Maybe we can collaborate and he can endorse my anti blitz ball technology. Those things are nearly unbeatable but I will prevail. With SCIENCE!

  • Anonymous

    To be fair, Auron is not actually the only character that not much like to believe in Yevon, Rikku, Tidus and Kimari do not really care about either.

    And the AI Bhed actually have the plan to study the summoners to find another way to defeat Sin, without waste their lifes, which in the end sounds kinda silly, when they just explode the whole AI Bhed town, probably killing thousants of them that were still inside.

    And that Wakka line is really poor, actually there are some other really silly moments in the game. Altrought I love this game.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    Final Fantasy 10 isn’t the first Final Fantasy where the main character has nothing to do with the story… The famous Final Fantasy 7 also has this, Cloud is there ONLY to kill Sephiroth and on the like last hour of game he says he doesn’t care about the world in a game about saving it.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    Final Fantasy 10 isn’t the first Final Fantasy where the main character has nothing to do with the story… The famous Final Fantasy 7 also has this, Cloud is there ONLY to kill Sephiroth and on the like last hour of game he says he doesn’t care about the world in a game about saving it.

  • http://twitter.com/EmpGonzo Tony M

    I no longer need a dongly thing for my flying magic negator! Thank you Dr. Insano for making my life that much easier.

  • Anonymous

    Spoony I got nothing but respect for you but I’m noticing a serious problem with this part of the review. You keep getting shit about the plot wrong. Lets start with the basics, such as Yuna not sending Seymour. If you’ll recall she did start but was unable to because the guado took his body away. She tried again in Bevelle but her friends were being held captive, and would have been killed had she continued. Theres also the matter of how they got to the desert. Sin carried them with him when he left and they got lost in the current of the oceans. They didn’t just get there in seconds. Its also a fair bet Tidus was out for awhile once he arrived, and it took time for everyone to regroup. Plenty of time for the group that had been tracking down summoners everywhere to find Yuna there. Which brings us to the guado attack on the city. The timing of the guado attack is a little more suspect, but it could just be that the attack has little to do with Yuna. The al bhed had been kidnapping lots of summoners, so it makes perfect sense for the guado to attack. It also seems the attack had been going on awhile by the time the group arrived, and its very likely that the guado took Yuna long before Tidus and the others showed up, so they would have time to return to Bevelle by the time the airship had been boarded, and launched.

    Theres also the matter of the al bhed kidnapping summoners. It actually makes sense to do this and look for an alternative, prefferably more permenant way of dealing with Sin. With the summoning process the summoner calls the final aeon which kills sin, at which point Sin is able to posses the aeon. It then kills the summoner and after a short time is able to continue killing large numbers of people. What this essentialy means is that the the summoners sacrifice is a useless gesture that brings at best a year or two of peace, leaving nothing accomplished in the long run.

    Though you do make valid points. Tidus is annoying. and Wakka is a collosal dick. But thats part of their respective character arks. Wakka is supposed to be the bigotted individual singing Yevon’s praises who over the course of the story learns to let go of these flaws. Tidus is supposed to start off seeming immature and foolish, but also grows more mature by the end of the story.

    There is also Seymour who does look completely ridiculous. But thats hardly a good cornerstone upon which to build your arguement that a villian sucks. And while he is obviously the villian to the player, what with his evil theme playing and summoning Anima, he would not seem that way to the characters. In Spira’s society he is a generally respected individual, who saves Luca from a fiend attack.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    The Al Bhed capturing the summoners, I don’t recall them really looking for an alternative to the final summon, their plan was pretty much 1. Capture summoners, 2. Stop them from killing themselves 3. ??? 4. World saved!

  • Anonymous

    Shit, I forgot in my last post to comment on the ending. First of all good special effects and the like. Black Lantern Spoony is creepy as hell. You are quite good at acting for someone who hasn’t had formal training (That I know of)

    I would also like to add that despite all the points you got wrong about the plot I did still find this very fun and amusing to watch.

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    Because… Guado took the body? I didn’t make it that far in this game, but wouldn’t it be logical for Tidus, Auron and the crew to STOP them from taking the body? Isn’t that gaping logic hole exactly what Spoony tries to address here?

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    Most JRPGs are better than Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy standards, as they are, are pretty low. Hate me all you want, but batshit insane visual design, retarded plot lines and a little too simplistic and streamlined gameplay just do not help the case.

  • Anonymous

    So very true! I’ve never been the biggest fan of FF VII myself and I’ve said just the same thing before, although FF X Tidus is much more of an non-entity than Cloud ever was. Cloud at least add some motivation and was part of putting the group together in a small respect granted but he was there.

    I can hardly think of a moment in FF X where Tidus add anything to the story besides well himself. Yuna could have easily been the main character and the story would have happened almost just the same. That goes for Tifa too, but female leads weren’t good for marketing in Japan in those days. That has changed but given FF XIII’s terrible reviews I’m guessing if Square does make another Final Fantasy, called FF XV which they are already making *sigh* we’ll see if they go back to sexist men do all the winning. I’m against sexism by the way, I care about the personality of the characters and I normally ignore their gender unless it is their whole character *cough Lulu cough*.

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    There is a reason why men are portrayed more stoic psychologically, have more muscular strength and stuff than women in works of fiction and why subverting it causes questions. And it’s not called sexism, it’s called REAL GOD DAMN LIFE.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah plot holes like that are universal in Final Fantasy, I can’t think of a single games since the series started to have a plot that there aren’t giant plot holes that are never explained.

    Also, sin causes them to drift makes more since than he carries them as someone said at some point. But it is still impossibly lazy and bad writing. Sin (who is the major maguffin of FF X) appears to whenever the plot seems to dead end and fixes it. This happens like…six times in the game at least by my memory.

    I’m guessing step 3 is, 3. “Sin goes on a rampage, all die (even had it underlined)” 4. World saved! (by proxy of no life remaining .)

  • Anonymous

    You forgot step 5, PROFIT!

  • http://www.facebook.com/octopodesrex Jacob Elias Land

    WAKA: “So what, Titanic? It’s a waterslide, ya know?! BOOOM!”

  • Anonymous

    These Guado if you recall are trained guards like the ones who helped Seymour. Additionaly its a fair bet Tromell (The lead guado here) is a proficient magc user. The group just got done fighting Seymour and his lackeys in addition to Anima. At this point they are almost certainly tired and injured. Any attempt at attacking the newly arrived guards would almost certainly result in reinforcements sent, wereas letting them focus on taking Seymour away and escaping gives them the chance to live and finish the job later.

  • Anonymous

    Fair enough. hat doesn’t change the fact that the summoners sacrifice is ultimately a futile one, and in the end Sin will wipe everything out regardless. I presume the al hed were trying to think of another way to beat it. I recall them palying a big role in operation Mihen.

  • Anonymous

    Oh man that vuvuzela joke was fucking gold. Great review Spoony keep em comin

  • Anonymous

    I just saw this comment. I have to ask how Cloud isn’t the main character, given his relationship with the central villian, and said villian using Cloud as a puppet to accomplish his goals. Not to mention two of the bigest plot twists centering on him. Namely the one in the crater where Sephiroth reveals his false memories, and the lifestream sequence where he rediscovers his true self. Add to that he killed Sephiroth and it seems to me that he is definetely the central character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TornadoCreator Billy McKenna

    Honestly, I know it’s unlikely but if Spoony simply opted out of the pre-roll and post-roll ads which would include the Saab advert. We’d still get the really fucking insulting advert of the woman talking about eating yogurt over the phone, and the pizza bite advert as they’re simply pop-over, it’s only when the add requires interactivity that it becomes an issue. I’ll try the Ad Block Plus, but honestly that feels kinda like stealing. I mean after all, Spoony makes a living of these videos, bypassing the adverts surely would make him less money and mean he wouldn’t be able to make Spoony Experiment full time. (I know one person doesn’t matter, but if it works, everyone would bypass the ads and Spoony tend to find food more nutritious than air, so money for buying said food in essencial).

  • http://www.facebook.com/CaptainAlbatross Reid Allen

    Vuvuzelas make everything better.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    Cloud isn’t the main character due to the fact mostly that he contibutes NOTHING to the whole story, he has only relationships with two characters, Aeris and Tifa, Aeris starts at the 2nd time visiting the golden saucer and ends after she dies hours later. And with Tifa its the whole “We lived in the same town as kids.” and finally like I said, he doesn’t care about the world in a game about saving it…

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    World saved! = Profit! in this case.

  • Anonymous

    As I said already two of the most important plot points in the game revolve entirely around him. In addition it is largely because of him that the villian gets the black materia. It is also by his hand that Sephiroth dies. I also believe his exact sentiments regarding the final battle were that he wanted to kill Sephiroth to settle his past, and that saving the world was simplya part of that.
    Its through Cloud we learn who Sephiroth is and why he became the villian he is. Cloud is the one who through Sephiroth into the lifestream in Nibelheim. Cloud is the one who led Avalanche after Sephiroth and ended upbringing the whole group together. Cloud contributes a great deal to the story.

  • Anonymous

    The relationship with Aeris kinda push the game foward regards to the motivation on defeating Sephiroth, and in this game like in a lot of other JRPGs the story is partially driven by emotional based factors, not really by a rational plot.

    Also, while Cloud may not be really involved in the main plot, he is just like a generic american RPG “custom character”, he basically doesn’t talk and his decisions are made by the player, so like a lot of american RPGs he is that “hero” that pretty much kick the ass of everyone, but doesn’t have much importance in the plot. And I think he is a very good one.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    Giving the villain the way to destroy the planet doesn’t really count as contributing to the story, He could’ve just knocked cloud’s sorry ass out and taken it.

    And we get to know about sephiroth through cloud? Maybe, but regardless it doesn’t matter plotwise much WHY sephiroth became a raging emokid.. They could’ve aswell just ignored the whole clouds past thingy and gone with “he is evil because he wants to destroy the world!”

  • http://twitter.com/Mozillo Sock Dinglebert

    It don’t work…. I get the advert for the Car…. (is it meant to be a still advert?) and then it goes black and stays black…. FOREVER :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Angelique-Sims/1037440052 Angelique Sims

    I feel like we’re heading into a crisis on infinite earths thing. Maybe when the third anniversary comes around and they finish the Warrior comic?

  • http://twitter.com/TheShal Shal

    Final Fantasy X can’t hold a candle to even the worst of the Tales Of series. Especially since that series never did turn based fighting.

  • Anonymous

    Lets suppose we erase Cloud. Suddenly Sephiroth doesn’t get beat at Nibelheim. As a result he never travels the lifestream and never learns that Jenova isn’t an ancient.Nor does he discover the existence of the temple of the ancients. Consequently his whoe plan from the game never gets formed. Zack no longer has to drag Cloud’s catatonic ass around and as a reuslt gets back to Midgar and reunites with Aerith, provided Sephiroth hasn’t jacked the whole world up or finished Zack off back at Nibelheim. In the end the whole course of the story changes.

    And knowing Sephiroth motivations and how he became who he is is quite an important plot element when you consider that if those things didn’t hapen, he wouldn’t want to destroy the world. The whole plot changes, or a whole new background has to be made up. I’d also love to see Sephiroth forcibly take the BlackMateria from Cloud in the Northern Crater while he’s sealed in that Mako crystal. I’m sure that would go real well. Suppose we remove Cloud just before Sephiroth pops up at the shinra building. Suddenly Sephiroth no longer sees a need to unlock the door to Cloud’s cell. His puppet isn’t there so why bother. Therefore the whole group never goes after him. Even supposing they do theres no reason for him to let them run around, since his puppet isn’t there to be useful, so he’d likely just kill them.

    Besides that without Cloud theres nobody to pursue Sephiroth’s spirit into the lifestream to finish him off, so even supposing the party gets that far without Cloud the world still gets screwed.

  • Anonymous

    Like the review series, very entertaining. Some of your problems with the plot looked a lot like you just weren’t paying attention. I saw the plot tying together as it went, such as Rikku being the one who gave away Yuna’s position and Sin’s ability to send people whereever whenever being well-established. Yuna didn’t send Seymour because the Guados dragged him out before she could even say “Aeon.” The placement of Jecht’s spheres WAS annoyingly arbitrary, and I always hate the obvious villain never being called out. Seriously, all Final Fantasy villains have the same exact face with minor cosmetic tweaks. And don”t forget the long hair, FF13 is the only one I’ve seen to break that rule so far.
    The main characters did seem inanely stupid at times, but-and I don’t know why for sure-I felt drawn into the story and empathised with Tidus. Maybe because I was in the middle of a breakup, who knows? I actually liked the game, liked it lightyears more than 12. But once again, it’s only that weird empathy that keeps me playing FF games other than 7. The story may be stupid, but… I like it… does this make me a bad person?

  • Anonymous

    You see, I was on hard narcotics and I couldn’t even get half-way through the game. At some point I just blanked out.

    … I’m not quite sure whether it was the drugs or the game, but suddenly I found 60 pages of notes on the haematopoiesis of granulocytes and erythrocytes and the necrosis of red bone marrow on my computer. Also a very complete and detailed plan of the assassination of Stephanie Meyer.

    I have not tried playing FFX since that experience because I am afraid that last time I MAY have ordered an M-15 off the internet somewhere. At any rate I got a very strange letter from interpol that I’m just pretending did not happen.

  • http://twitter.com/Borathan Frank Hopkins

    One major thing you seem to be deliberately avoiding at this point is that the dead don’t always just pop back up.

    Most people who aren’t Sent become the fiends you end up fighting along the way. It takes a strong will to become an thinking undead in FFX.

    And with the first Symour “kill”, they believed him to be dead at that point, and they thought that the church would eventually send him (Which turns out to be wrong in the end, but that was a major conspiracy by the church hierarchy).

    We also don’t know the difference in time between the event beneath the temple and Titus waking up again.

    For the Al Bhed knowing where Yuna is, Cid probably found out where she was, and possibly had something watching to transmit back while planning a rescue. Yuna probably only got the chance to send Seymour at the wedding.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Terrorblades Erik Olsson

    Whooo! Finaly! Thank you spoony loved this, big +! Well well done :D!

  • http://twitter.com/higakirinne H. R.

    Almost certainly… but they don’t look like it. Then we have issues with the directing of the cutscene. Any reaction out of the heroes? Any “Hey, stop, what the hell are you doing here, guys, we just beat your leader ass” or anything? Anything? I admit, I never actually seen this scene before, but I can easily see how it would be either written or directed poorly to confuse the hell out of people.

    That’s actually the whole problem with those pseudo-subtle schematic narratives employed by many JRPGs and many pseudo-intellectual japanese animated films. Some events happen, there might be some explanation given in a completely different place, or there might not be a solid explanation at all, but fans will look through and come up with one, or maybe not just one! The game didn’t seem to bother to explain many things to the player (like Farplane, or logic of battle in the temple of ice, or INSTANT DESSERT) so even if those events somehow all make sense, this only brings up another problem.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jake.is.the.coolest.cool Jake Osborne

    Awesome review but I think you missed a trick at the end by not having Tidus join in the evil laugh with his weird forced laughter.

  • Anonymous

    Damn, it’s true, they like explain the fiends thing several times in the game.

  • Anonymous

    I wish I had parents that would bribe me to engage in pointless grindfests so they didn’t have to.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_E3Q5SLA52ZOWMQ6M5ODSGUPKSE Edward

    I have to agree with H.R. I admire your ability to follow the games story that closely, but I just read your initial response and none of it makes sense to me. How closely do you have to follow a story in order for it to actually make sense to the player? How many hours of game play do you have to spend in order to figure out ever single facet of the games universe so it makes sense to you? Granted that is a strength to these JRPGs, their ability to suck you into their world and intrigue you with their mysteries so you want to find the answers. The problem is these types of stories have been done to death. I have seen so many games like this with lavish, ridiculous, anime inspired settings, needlessly complicated plots, nonsensical sci-fi and fantasy concepts, and phoned in philosophy that is disguised as depth. This plot is no deeper or profound than Debbie Does Dallas but it’s disguised to look like something really amazing is happening. The Final Fantasy series has been stagnating for years now. They have recycled the same themes and conventions over and over again and it has just gotten old. They have been phoning it in ever since 8 because they know they have a built in audience; why try when you know the fan boys are always going to pick up your game. These characters look and act so far removed from any normal person that they are impossible to relate to, at least for me. Their world is so bombastic and ridiculous that it does not intrigue me as I have been with the previous games. I am not being taken in by a mystery, I’m being bombarded by bright lights and flash colors and ridiculous concepts. To put it simply, the magic is gone.

    I’ll admit it is not the worst entry in the series. Their is some good content here and the parts that are stupid are laughably so. But the simple problem is this: 12 years ago when I played Final Fantasy 7, I did cry when Aeris died. I was so moved by the story in a video game, the same medium that gave us an italian plumber who jumps on turtles, that I did weep. Final Fantasy 7 was a master piece and it showed the world along with many games of it’s era such as Silent Hill and Metal Gear that games are not just a form of entertainment but a work of art. Through a video game you can take a person on a journey that is not just entertaining but also says something about the human condition. And while the video game industry has continued to evolve and producing excellent games which have pushed and explored gaming as a story telling medium, Final Fantasy has continued to hash out the same crap every couple of years. Now Final Fantasy is just a bunch of moogles and elves playing grab ass in a field while looking at lights.

    But maybe it has moved you in away that I was moved by 7. But me, brother, I’m done. All I can do is laugh at it now. After all we are talking about a story where volley balls are deadly weapons and everyone dresses like their in a Lady Gaga video. But hey, who am I to judge.

  • Anonymous

    Tis true… Problem is fiction isn’t reality, norm does it have to follow any logical things like women not being equal to men physically. Ask anyone that plays JRPGs in general and they’ll almost always be under the impression that female warriors are equal or better than males. Of course I am not of that school of thought. I was pointing out that female protagonists haven’t worked well for Square. Your reply was pretty violent there at the end though which I like… That’s it your added to my party!

  • Anonymous

    True… I’ve never missed a Tales of game so far and I’d always recommend them over even the best Final Fantasy games. Also the early Star Ocean games… the Snes and PS1 version… after that they kinda went insane.

  • Anonymous

    Hell yeah! Another legendary review. Loved it from the first second to the ending song. Big thanks.

  • Anonymous

    I can feel you there… There was a point when I was playing through FF X where I found myself, for reasons I shall not and can not explain, standing on the top floor of a multi-level parking garage in the pouring rain. I was staring blankly out at the ocean from my birds eye view and pondering; “Why isn’t the boss showing up…?” I can’t explain that thought or how it got into my head but I blame FF X more than my less than causal drug use at the time.

  • Anonymous

    Well no matter what the opinions about FF X, either like it or hate it, at least it isn’t FF X-2… My nightmares will never go away no matter how many times I tell myself “It isn’t real, it isn’t real, you can’t just add a second number to a sequel, it doesn’t work that way! It must all be an terrible, terrible prank.” Of course then I may happen to glance over at my wife’s games and see it there, mocking my version of reality…with all it pretty princess dress up anti-glory.

  • Anonymous

    FFX suck, The real reason, it spawned FFX-2. Abomination!

  • http://twitter.com/TheTeamAET Team AET

    You are totally right, but this game is supposed for kids and not for Analysis. So many people like this game ’cause there is so much you can dream about. Kids have a lot of more imagination and i think they will fill the gabs you mention. Does this make the game better? Maybe not, but it shows us why so many people like it and that was all i want to mention :)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_E3Q5SLA52ZOWMQ6M5ODSGUPKSE Edward

    Oh my God! Dude! Giving the villain a doomsday device is totally contributing to the story!!!

    Man, I totally disagree. Cloud totally drives the plot to that game. He is completely involved in it. The entire game is his own personal quest. Along the way he overcomes obstacles both externally and internally. His actions affect the world at large, he interacts and connects on some level with every character in the game, and we explore his own history and psyche. His has to be involved with the plot because HE IS THE PLOT!

    Unlike Final Fantasy X, 7 really is Cloud’s story. It’s not his alone, the game is really an ensemble performances. But he is the central focus and that’s why he is the man character.

    Tidus on the other had really adds nothing. He kills stuff. I guess but other than that he’s just obnoxious. In X the player genuinely explores Yuna and Auron in my much greater detail. That coupled with the fact that they are much more interesting characters even with their flaws and one does have to ask…….why the fuck couldn’t they be the main character instead of Dumass McTidus?!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_E3Q5SLA52ZOWMQ6M5ODSGUPKSE Edward

    Black Lantern Tidus………………………RISE!!!!!

    Excellent review as always Spoony.

  • Anonymous

    Howe long have I’ve been waiting for this… Finally Episode 3. Thanks Spoony.

  • http://twitter.com/MegaCDcollector Tim Stoddard

    That was awesome! Especially the last scene!

    …My god Wakka is an Asshole!

  • http://twitter.com/Vorsilder Niklas Andersson

    I would actually argue that Auron stays “sane” for the one reason that he really hates Yunalesca and the whole cycle of summoning. It feels like to stay human after your death you need a purpose, otherwise you turn to a monster. As far as we seen, most characters that are unsent feels they have a higher purpose and they don’t die. Seymore I don’t remember exactly (probably take over the world *of course*), but you have the summoner who teaches you how to fight because she feels she owes it to the living and *spoilers* the head maester feels he need to guide his flock (or maybe he just like the power) *spoiler ends*. Hell, some even argue that the wandering sage (Machean???) also are an unsent due to his nature of popping up everywhere and his reason for living is to talk about the history of the world.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charles-Lohse/565740568 Charles Lohse

    That was pretty good, Spoony. I’m glad I stopped playing FF after 7, although I’m told 9 wasn’t too bad. Can’t wait to see Black Lantern Spoony make his return.

  • Anonymous

    DAMN SAAB!
    I get that too, but if u keep reloading the page it will stop trying to play & u can get on w/ enjoying the Spoony goodness : )

  • Anonymous

    Oh and pease: no more Vuvuzelas..

  • Anonymous

    did you just call him a twat? OH MY GOD i think he turning british D:

  • http://twitter.com/CedarMusketeer Bryan Gardner

    I have to agree with your feeling on Final Fantasy X-2: Barbie’s Dressup Adventure.

  • http://twitter.com/CedarMusketeer Bryan Gardner

    While I do disagree with the addition of Vuvuzelas to Blitzball, I do agree that an announcer like Andre would make it a better game. Just like the Gieco commercial says, he can make any sport seem interesting.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Kastlo Michele Castellani

    Looking forward to the next episode with the black lantern spoony

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mattias-Granlund/100000618693819 Mattias Granlund

    still, sacrificing a summoner to give the people 1-2 years of Sin free peace is better then saving a summoner and having the same 1-2 years consist of Sin wrecking shit.

    Not saying there goal to find a permanent end to Sin is worthless, but if I lived in Spira I would prefer having at least some breathing space of Sin less time now and then till it´s found.

  • Anonymous

    I second that professional bitterness. Trying to get science-fiction published when you A) have no money (or are so far up to your neck in university fees when you haven’t even finished your degree that you just know you’re not going to get them paid out for say 20 years), and B) cannot get an agent to read your work much less grab the attention of a publisher, is like hitting yourself over and over with a two-by-four. It hurts less every time you bring down plank but you slowly get the feeling that you may just be getting dumber. And damn it, I may be a shit writer with no technique and even less finesse but I have it on good authority by people who LIKE her books that I write better than that. I mean, that’s a really, REALLY low bar, but… I just know that if you give me a couple of oxycontin, three-fifths of scotch, a pack of Malboro reds and a sign saying “YOUR BRAIN LIVES SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW” I could write better romantic horror trash than that!

    Alright, alright, I’ll stop ranting now. I may, however, update that, er, plan thing I was talking about earlier. It never hurts to be prepared…

  • http://twitter.com/BenMartinBass Ben Martin

    A very fitting final song!! Great episode, when I bought this game when it was first released I wondered why on earth it frustrated me so. You have set my mind at rest that I was perfectly rational to disagree with pretty much everyone else I knew who played it.
    Loved the Black Lantern ending. Keep it going, you always cheer me up!

  • Anonymous

    Worth the wait Spoony, that was fucking awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Even-Seberg/775463741 Even Seberg

    Have you completed the game?
    by that i mean; found all the secret Aeons, completed the monster arena side quest anhd neat all the Dark Aeons.

    One of the elements that have been showing up in the later Final fantasy games (7-13) is the fact that the main story isnt that hard.
    this way those who play for the story are not stopped a few hours in, while the sidequests and hidden bosses are hard as all shit. this rule especially aplies to FFX.

    Once you try beating Nemesis and Penance, you realise the level of strategy and preperation you need to complete this game.

  • Anonymous

    And really, if Cloud -isn’t- the main character, who is? Your options after that are really just Barret and Tifa. You might say Aeris, but she dies about before the halfway-point and the storty carries on without her. It’s not Barret- he’s quick to hand off leadership duties to Cloud. When Cloud goes MIA and Barret’s in charge again, he dumps leadership onto Cid first chance he gets. So that leaves Tifa. And her story is -entirely- dependant on Cloud coming back into her life and Cloud fighting Shinra and Cloud unravelling the mystery in his own past.

  • Anonymous

    Most epic intro EVA!!!! Vuvuzela! GOAL!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Bukee András Bukovinszky

    It still doesn’t explain HOW did the Guado found the Al Bhed city, which is supposed to be a deep secret.
    Also how did they actually get there? The Al Bhed has the only functional airship, and I’m pretty sure the Guado can’t teleport around.

    That “church conspiracy” doesn’t make any sense either

  • Blunderbuss

    Actually, you’re wrong Spoony – removing Van -would- need changes to the dialogue, like every single time idiotic bullshit comes out of his stupid mouth. Like, “Oh hey how old are you Fran lolol?” Ugh.

    But this makes me realise that Square is also trying to make their male ‘heroes’ relatable ever since FFX as well, and has been failing utterly. Because not only do they need to be relatable, they still need to be a) likeable, b) heroic, and c) motivated. The only male lead who had these qualities was Reks from FF12 and they goddamn kill him in the prologue. Reks at least had a brave, noble motivation of trying to save his country; Van -openly admits- to having no motivation whatsoever.

    Not to mention the problem that both FF10 and FF12 had two ladies who would be far more logical leads for the story, but they went with guys instead. Uh huh. *side-eyes Square*

  • Chione

    Haha, yes! Every crappy e-sport is better with vuvuzelas and soccer commentary :D

  • Blunderbuss

    Actually, you’re wrong Spoony – removing Van -would- need changes to the dialogue, like every single time idiotic bullshit comes out of his stupid mouth. Like, “Oh hey how old are you Fran lolol?” Ugh.

    But this makes me realise that Square is also trying to make their male ‘heroes’ relatable ever since FFX as well, and has been failing utterly. Because not only do they need to be relatable, they still need to be a) likeable, b) heroic, and c) motivated. The only male lead who had these qualities was Reks from FF12 and they goddamn kill him in the prologue. Reks at least had a brave, noble motivation of trying to save his country; Van -openly admits- to having no motivation whatsoever.

    Not to mention the problem that both FF10 and FF12 had two ladies who would be far more logical leads for the story, but they went with guys instead. Uh huh. *side-eyes Square*

  • Blunderbuss

    No, Spoony is right about Seymour. Yeah, he might look fine to the other people of Spira, but -we’re- the audiance and -we- need to see him as a serious and credible villian in order to take the story seriously. Not to mention he acts so stereotypically slimey and eeeevil that, like Spoony said, it creates a dissonance where he’s so obviously evil to us but the characters are oblivious.

    Not to mention that it harms the story. If you toned Seymour down and made him more like a normal summoner, then his motivations would be more like a summoner who just cracked under the endless cycle of death and came up with his own demented ‘solution’. Instead you get another weirdly-dressed, pointy-haired, smarmy guy who want to destroy the world blah blah blah.

  • http://twitter.com/JackKonEl J.P. Tull

    Just because something’s aimed at kids doesn’t excuse sloppy writing. Batman: The Animated Series is one of my all-time favourite TV shows because the writing is so stellar, but it’s aimed at young audiences. Also, FFX got a T rating; it wasn’t aimed at kids per se.

  • Psy Crow

    The intro almost made me laugh to death. This was well worth the wait, great job Spoony!

  • http://twitter.com/JackKonEl J.P. Tull

    And we all know how well THAT turned out. They were dealing with a giant sky-whale, and yet they contributed nothing aside from a few cannons against a being that, personification of the world’s sins or no, is nearly indestructible. Mi’ihen pretty much consisted of the Crusaders charging at it and then getting spectacularly curb-stomped.

    I did just have an image of the Al Bhed rushing Sin wielding nothing but rifles, though. “We’ll succeed where the Summoners who’ve trained for years failed! FOR SCIENCE!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ailin-ODubhlaoch/100000640035086 Ailín O’Dubhlaóch

    I like how you completely ignored the points nyarlathotepsama had presented with regard to the story, whereas you’ve decided to focus on his single paragraph pertaining to the gameplay. Which, by the by, was NOT difficult, either – All games revolve around numbers, RPGs moreso than others.

    The only difficult part in FFX’s “secret” bosses game in turning your brain off to grind long enough to beat them, or doing more pointless irrelevant crap to pass the time, such as backtracking half the world environment once you gain the ability to capture monsters for the Calm arena to fight shitty bosses with virtually no worthwhile rewards.

    The Secret Aeons weren’t that difficult to find, too. Hell, I’d be surprised if someone HADN’T actually wandered into Zanmato’s cave, seeing as you end up going directly past it.

  • Anonymous

    The thing is, this might actually be considered humorous in Japan…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4GPLPGJZSLMZG3TJZ4VRL3LIQQ Mauricio A

    Great review, shows just how retarded the storyline of this game is.
    Loved the intro.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Renardo-Krootjes/1549164800 Renardo Krootjes

    well there was one thing good about it, the combat system, though the story is really insipid

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Renardo-Krootjes/1549164800 Renardo Krootjes

    i dunno, does having an opinion that differs from an internet comedian make you a bad person?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Renardo-Krootjes/1549164800 Renardo Krootjes

    i’ve only read the first part and nothing but i have to say this: play Phantasy Star Universe, it opens and closes like an anime every chapter, like it really is an anime, the voice acting sucks though :P

  • Anonymous

    Beneath the Macalania temple they actually were standing on Sins back the whole time. As the song of the Fayth ended, Sin woke up and used his toxin on them.

    Great review anyway! ^^

  • http://www.jayisgames.com Dora B

    You know, I played this game like, right when it came out. I think it was actually the last Final Fantasy I played. I didn’t finish it, but I didn’t think I’d gotten that farther into it either. I didn’t hate it, but it was completely forgettable. I have literally been watching this series of videos with that niggling sense of deja vu. I remember NO specifics about the game whatsoever, none of the plot points, but every time one of those ridiculous boss battles pops up, I go, “Oh, yeah, I remember grinding levels to beat that stupid thing”.

    It’s kind of disconcerting that I lost apparently hours and hours of my life to gameplay of this thing, but the only aspect of it I remember is how frustrating some of the boss battles were. Man. People really enjoyed this? It’s like Cique du Plothole. I’m sure the original Final Fantasy games I played and enjoyed were much the same, but SERIOUSLY. Seriously?

  • http://www.facebook.com/zack.irving Zee Darklight

    awsome epsiode i played ffx completed in 2 days but the worst enermys to was the dark aeons they are a pain i perefr ffx-2

  • Anonymous

    Fight wimpy guards now, uber-undead Seymour later. I see the logic in that. -_-

  • DarthYan

    Really? every source I read say yuna is the protaganist. Tidus is the ishamael (in short, a device that allows characters to see events as they unfold.) Yuna’s quest is the main goal. Also, I still contend that he does undergo believable evolution; plus he’s the mcguffin in that the fayth use him for their goals. And vaan still has some cool moments (telling the guy who MURDERED HIS BROTHER IN COLD BLOOD how futile vengeance is, and grabbing a sword and impaling the big bad.) While he is a pussy, those two scenes were pretty damn awesome. I’m also impressed that they were able to make the evil twin cliche WORK (Noah is essentially transfering his own self loathing onto basch to gain a purpose and feel better about himself.) He’s not so much a monster as a pitible wreck who needs a lot of therepy

  • Anonymous

    how the hell did sin get underground.

  • Anonymous

    not strictly true; he does get yuna to realize that being a sacrificial lamb isn’t going to work, and he is the only thing the fayth can use to end the cycle (they control him, so he’s their candidate.) In short, his clumsy idiocy and immaturity help to ultimately cause others to look for different alternatives. He gets yuna to open up. Is he annoying? Certainly. But he’s not entirely irrelevent to the plot

  • Anonymous

    wow your covering ground more quickly then your ff8 review. And yes tidus is annoying but he isn’t entirely pointless. He gets yuna to start looking for alternatives to the whole sacrificial lamb/messiah idea that doesn’t really work. the fayth made him for this purpose, because he’s not as bound by the teachings. And I read that the reason they didn’t do the badass protaganist was because the last effort failed miserably.

  • Anonymous

    it’s kind of wierd that tidus is the only one who realized seymour’s evil. What does that say about the other protaganists?

  • http://www.facebook.com/QuantumSX Micheal Russell

    Umm Square Enix is NOT trying to make their main characters more relatable. They came out anc said when Final Fantasy XII was being made that they are no longer have a single main character. Final Fantasy 12 and 13 or clear examples of this ideology. Both games do not have just one main character. All character are equal in importance. Yes Van was pointless but in reality so was Lightning in 13 the only two important character was Fang and Vinnel.

  • Anonymous

    i love the bit where he says the choice is up to you, and then the very next scene tidus is being poked with a shotgun. the throwning over the side was a distraction to allow them to use the grenade. and technically yuna is ment to be the hero; tidus is just the device that allows players to see the world the way everyone else does, and he’s the fayth’s weapon due the fact that they have decided “Fuck it, this bs has gone on for too long, lets end it for good.” He also gets yuna not to do the whole human death thing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Wesley-Muench/1658540988 Wesley Muench

    The pieces of destroyed city the party was sitting on under the temple were the one’s you see sitting on Sin’s head. Since Sin can apparently appear anywhere in the world it wants, it was able to transport them to the desert before they fell off.

    I just figured that out. It’s the only way I can, kind of, rationalize it.

    By the way, the end scene of this review was quite possibly the most badass, hardcore thing I have ever seen.

  • Anonymous

    Funny video, Spoony! I’m liking the use of Motorhead lately!

    Watching this video really makes me realize how crappy the plot of FFX actually is, because you can burn through segments that take hours in the span of 20-odd minutes and lose none of the relevant plot details. It’s not that they didn’t have any good ideas for it–I’d say that a world being run by a church that’s actually an undead conspiracy is pretty damn creepy–but they take forever to get anything done. This plot wasn’t well-suited for a game that’s supposed to take 40 hours–minimum–to beat, and it shows, because they have to cram in all sorts of filler to pad it out. FF8 had some of the same problems, but wasn’t nearly as bad in that regard, and FFVII had one-off things you had to do, but it was all tied into an overarching quest that had genuine tension behind it, and the tension often resulted from the fact that you were delayed from your quest by an obstacle in your path. The constant foot-dragging and forced character development in FFX undercuts any tension the story could have built, and it’s very annoying, because this could have been a good story! I still enjoyed the game, and the combat system is probably my favorite in any FF title, but the plot isn’t nearly as good as I had thought on my first playthrough.

  • Anonymous

    Amazing! This might even be better than your FFVIII review.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EAHJQLWDK2FA2HUMUXGP2RQ7B4 Alexander Alexander

    That’s even worse! He should have just killed them.

  • Anonymous

    Holy shit!

    You’ve outdone yourself this time, Spoony!

  • Anonymous

    I should’ve stated “Does empathising for an admittedly useless character mean I
    need psychological help?”

    ________________________________

  • http://twitter.com/shadowbird712 Jeremy K.

    Saw Constantine in theaters, got it on DVD, freakin’ love it. Recognized the Constantine version of Hell on sight. :D

  • Blunderbuss

    Gonna have to disagree with you there. FF13 is an example of having no real main character, but in FF12 Van is the ‘viewpoint protagonist’ that serves the same function as Tidus; being a relatable ordinary person who helps us learn about the fantasy world via their experience. Heck, -Basch- was going to be the main character but Square was afraid that having an older protagonist would affect sales, so they made Van instead. But really, Ashe is the main character of FF12; she’s trying to get back her kingdom, she’s the one getting the MacGuffins, she’s the one with the choice to screw the Occuria or obey them. The entire plot revolves around her and her quest, and without her there’d be no story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Even-Seberg/775463741 Even Seberg

    the reason why i didn’t comment on the story part was that i realisedthat he didn’t understand what i said about Tidus and other elements; tidus is the link between Zanarkand and spira and if you take him away, Sin (Jecht) wouldn’t care if he destroyed the boat from Besaid and Kilika, and Yuna + party would be killed there, game over.there are hundreds of elements like if tidus was left out, Auron would be left out.
    Would Yuna ever stand against Yevon’s teachings if Tidus didn’t affect her, what about Rikku? would she be a part of the team? would Wakka be less trusting off the measters? would Jecht let them get a chance in hell to kill him?
    Tidus is more than a proxy for the male player demographic.

    and if i would like to see you try to find all the items to create the best equipment to be able to take down the biggest foes, like finding the bribe amounts for the right monsters to get the right items while your “brain” is off. when i first got this game i didn’t have my own computer and no real internet access so i could just print out a walkthrough and go into auto-drive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Novak83 Ed Novak

    Hey, I just noticed! Dr. Insano’s segment has the return of his freakish, orb-shaped son! I don’t think we’ve seen him since his debut. Glad their relationship’s still doing well.

  • http://twitter.com/RubberWalrus Jaymes(RubberWalrus)

    Ah, Final Fantasy X – - – I remember loving this game after it came out, but in retrospect of Spoony’s review – - – This game does not hold up at all. In fact, for all the bitching I did, and alot of other people did when Final Fantasy XIII came about how “linear” the game was, Final Fantasy X was just as linear, we were just fooled into thinking it was more open ended because of Blitzball.

    And I never won a single damn game of Blitzball, it was fun to play, but I could never win the damn thing. I hate you Blitzball. I think the real problem with these JRPGS is that they are still constantly falling behind what american and european game companies are doing with their RPGS. Mass Effect 2, hell anything by Bioware, Bethesda, any of the smaller open world RPG guys, there really changing the idea of what ROLE PLAYING really is, not just building stats for some whiney emo git, (I’M LOOKING AT YOU HOPE FROM FINAL FANTASY XIII. MY TREE GROW OUT YOUR ASS!).

    Spoony, another great review, keep up the good work. I hope my reviews could be as awesome as yours. I KNEEL BEFORE SPOON.

    Rubber-Walrus
    Of TheRubberWalrusShow.Blogspot.Com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Blayney/683346875 Michael Blayney

    It’s truly the mark of good game design and writing when I want the Big Bad to crush the protagonists like Dixie cups filled with red paint and ground beef. And to think that this monument to failure somehow managed a *sequel*? What the fuck is wrong with North America that we requested, nay, DEMANDED, that a sequel be produced? When the fuck did our standards drop so low?

  • http://twitter.com/RubberWalrus Jaymes(RubberWalrus)

    I think the problem Mike, is that for some odd reason, this game is held so close to many people’s heart, just like Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy VIII. Like bagging on FFX is like somehow insulting someone’s most sacred religious icon, and is punishable by death.

    So many FF Fans, hold X in this sacred light, that they demanded a sequel to X, and we got the unholy abomination of X-2. It was the most unneeded sequel since Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore.

    However, what’s really funny is that despite how much peole go apesheet over FFX, they lothe, I mean lothe, Final Fantasy XII, which I thought was a much stronger game in terms of freshness and innovation.

  • Anonymous

    even though i gave up at the mihen highroad battle I also found blitzball pointless. and i was 9 years old at the time. let that sink in. a nine years old boy found blitzball pointless. and yes, i do have something of a softspot for the game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Elihn Annika Meyer

    I almost died here.
    “Happy festival fireworks.”
    That was too much for me.

    I always find myself to be surprised by Wakkas stupidity.

    However, bad plot writing was not the main problem I had with the game. For me it was the main reason, that I could not bring up any sympathy for the characters since they were so boring and stupid.


    No more Tidussssesss.. Nooooezz! D:

  • http://www.facebook.com/tyrmcdohl Adam Nelson

    Black…Lantern…

    OMG

  • http://twitter.com/Belle_Kel Kelly

    YOU DID NOT BUY A TIDUS COSTUME! gosh I think i’m going to die if I see you in those lederhosen XD. Anyway, good review, I must say that I didn’t really see all those things that were wrong with it when first playing it (probably because I was much younger and didn’t really get it) but I started noticing in XII that the story was and especially the protagonist were weird, don’t get me started on XIII, I seriously HATE the characters. 20 hours in the game and I still don’t feel it.

  • http://twitter.com/ffxiiisucks Ali Hassan

    Finally!

  • http://twitter.com/Belle_Kel Kelly

    YOU DID NOT BUY A TIDUS COSTUME! god, I think I’ll die if I see you in those lederhosen. Great review, and you certainly have some valid points. I played the game twice (yes, I did like it) and half of the things you commented on I hadn’t noticed. But I was much younger when I played it and I guess I liked almost anything on my playstation 2, since I finally talked my mom into giving one for my birthday (she was a huge Nintendo fan, but even she had to admit that most of the gamecube’s games weren’t that good). So I think I was a bit biased ;).

  • Anonymous

    You have to dodge 200 Lightnings actually :D !

    Man, i love this game, but the quest to avoid thunder is, with the Butterfly chase and the chocobo race, the most annoying quests in the history of video games ! So boring that i wouldn’t mind if someone says “I hate FF10 only because of these three quests !”. Well, since i’m a completionist in every games i own, it is like a task to me to accomplish it every time !
    Be i will totally agree with you : to finish these quests, you must have a deep relational problem, and i do even if i don’t care :P.

    I agree on FF12, Penelo and Vaan are fillers… The game would be, for me, even better if they where not in the game.
    But, don’t forget that we are in Final Fantasy, even houses are evil : remember that house-shaped monster in the 6th, or 7th, sector of Midgard in FF7 :P ? Nowhere is safe in Final Fantasy !

    And, truly, the best part is when you put clips from Dune with the giant worm in Bikanel :P ! A brilliant idea ^^. By the way, i admit that there are no explanations about how they travelled from ice to desert but… I accepted it :P.

    You really underlined the only real thing i hate in the scenario, is the “insensitive ” (i quote you ^^) sentence of Wakka. Men, i couldn’t believe it when i heard that, Wakka is worse than Tidus (i think it is possible, but hard ^^), you should admit it :P.

    I will just correct your sentences, even if you don’t care ^^ (i understand :P), about the Unsends, they say, in the video of Yuna’s first dance, that some dead souls will boil of such jealousy and anger that they’ll turn into monsters, that is why they send them, to have less monsters ^^. The real problem is that they don’t really explain how the dead can be Unsends with human being form…

    What an epic ending ! You are a God man !

  • Anonymous

    i know for a fact that yuna says when she jumps “I can fly”
    it would be funny if you put a Mazes & Monsters joke there

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OHQVHS2VVOZAD7T2AJUOAUSMHE Agustin Aldo

    “Buenos tardes a todos! Yo soy Fernando Niembro, junto mi está Mariano Closs, y les damos la bienvenida al primer Campeonato Argentino de Blitzball! Estamos en el primer tiempo entre los Chocobos de Avellaneda y los Magos Negros de La Plata! Ahora vamos director a la cancha!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patricio-Diaz/1393394803 Patricio Díaz

    Haha, I wander how many people understood that…

  • http://www.facebook.com/callum.stanley1 Callum Stanley

    yo spoony i love your videos on ff 10 but you are pissing me off on how u dont understand how great this game is yes some of the voice acting is off but squaresoft at the time was new to that and some of the thing that u said are fair but not true like wakka’s saying its like happy fire works but he was only trying to cheer up rikku but when u cheer some one up their a high chance of u saying soming stupid and with yuna not sending symore right after the fight the reason why is she was in shock she was a deicated yevon worshiper and she suddenly got told she was a traitor made her not think which gave then enought time to more him as this is copping olden times as every one is religions and if u think back then and u found out the only thing that u base u life on and they turn their back on u you would be in shock

  • http://twitter.com/Smael123 Ismael Almaguer

    FATHER?! Thanks for giving away the chance to make a star wars joke

  • http://twitter.com/Smael123 Ismael Almaguer

    5:40 he sounds like spongebob

  • Anonymous

    LOL most of the referential jokes you made would not have been relevent wen you did your first FFX review. Also their should be a white lantern Spoony that turns the black lantern spoony into happy sunshine and brings everybody including Aqua-man b ack from the dead.

  • Anonymous

    LOL when you did your first FF10 review the references you made here would not have been relavent yet. Also a white lantern spoony should show up and resurect squall, Aqua-man, and everyone else.

  • http://twitter.com/metallavery avery cawley

    HES BACK BABBY!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    Actually the main character of Final fantasy XII was suppose to be Basch but Square Enix added Vann and Penelo to have young male lead and young cute girl.

    When Sin came during Ice Part Sin was so powerful it caused a tidal wave and Tidus and the gang got washed ashore just like what happen to Tidus back at Besaid Island.

    Seymour uses machina because he doesn’t believe in teaching of Yeavon. He uses his power for his own goals. The whole teaching of Yeon has been false to control the people. There is no way to atone for the past sins for using machina. Sin is Yu Yeavon.

    Tidus and Yuna are the main character each one have their own personal stories in this game.

  • http://twitter.com/Borathan Frank Hopkins

    The church conspiracy is that ALL the leaders of the church were undead, something they kept to themselves to keep in power and prevent others from knowing that they were essentially immortal.

    We don’t know how the guado found it, but then again we don’t know how long it was between the sin encounter and waking up. In the long run, it doesn’t matter. And they had no reason to expect the party would show up there. With later revelations in the game, it makes sense that the church would try to stamp out the non-believing Al Bhed just as they slaughtered a good portion of the Ronzo when their leader decides to leave the church.

    For finding it, there is the possibility that some ship found Yuna and reported it and the Guado force found Home when they were looking for Titus and took advantage of the situation.

  • http://twitter.com/Borathan Frank Hopkins

    Vaan does essentially take the spot in Revanent Wings if I’m remembering correctly.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LHYSV57RNGLIBRNFMAJJPN47ZI Michael Buono

    Jesus man, before you try and defend something, try using proper grammar. Whether you speak English naturally or not, you surely have heard of commas and periods; you’re whole post is a gigantic run-on sentence! It hurts to read! Besides, he’s a freakin’ critic! Tearing things a part for the fun of it is what they do; whether they like the subject matter or not. It’s all in good fun, so take some medicine and calm down.

    Personally, I like X more now than I did back when it came out since all the more recent FF’s (X-2, XII, and XIII) all sucked horribly. X’s story was pretty sub-par, but trust me, after playing the more recent ones, you’ll actually start looking back on this one more fondly. Kudos for the great review; I’m looking forward to the next installment, whenever it may be.

  • Anonymous

    I especially loved the opening! I remember dodging 200 consecutive lightning bolts for someone’s ultimate weapon back in the day! Hahaha!

    Can’t wait for part 4!

  • Anonymous

    If you say so. I would stunning if it was Basch. He is a much more interesting character and have a bit more of importance in the plot. So bad that they turn down Basch, damn hipster influences.

  • http://www.facebook.com/callum.stanley1 Callum Stanley

    i can speak english as i’m from the UK, the only reason why i didn’t use proper grammar i was rushing as i needed to leave the computer ok. Sorry that my english skill are not the best but you don’t complain about my grammer you not my fucking english teacher.
    I agree with you all the recent final fantasy suck however i did enjoy 13 however this is my own opinion, i know Noah is a crit and he does a great job at it but when you watch an funny and awesome video about some who is bad mouthing your favouite game, the game that got you into your favourite genre you would be kinda pissed off and you need to defend it.

    Great work Noah keep up the good work can’t wait untill your next installement, i don’t care if it take a large amount of time as they are worth it and i can understand how long and hard it can be to create these type of videos.

  • http://twitter.com/zerosozha Seth Meszaros

    Ugh.

    There’s a difference between snarky and bitchy. You’re WAY too bitchy lately.

    Think I’ll go watch the FF8 review again…that was better.

  • Anonymous

    About Seymour and other characters looks ridiculous, well we could say the same about cap. Kirk when startrek came out, the fact is that the concept of that kind of clothes being normal “spaceship clothes” has come with time, today we cosider that normal but back in time it was surely non-sense.

  • Anonymous

    Someone, quick, tell me how to get on Lulu’s “list”!

  • Anonymous

    When he was bitchy?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Yes! I’ve been waiting so long. And it’s so good. Spoony, you rock, and you’ve opened my eyes to how lame Tidus really is.

  • Anonymous

    If you’re from the UK I’m fucking Kim Jong-Il the thrid.

  • Anonymous

    Let me translate this mess:

    Hello Spoonyone, I enjoy your videos on Final Fantasy X, but you are beginning to anger me on your inability to understand how great this game is. Yes some of the voice acting is off, however at the time this game was produced Squaresoft was new to having voice acting in their games. Also, while I agree with some of your criticism, I contend that most of them are exaggerations.

    For example, Wakka comparing the slaughter of Rikku’s home city to happy fire works. He was only trying to cheer her up and people often accidentally insult those they are attempting to cheer up. Yuna not sending Symore directly after the battle is simply a result of her being in shock. She was a dedicated Yevon worshiper and the sudden revelation it was all a lie caused her to stop thinking momentarily, thus giving Symore the opportunity to escape from right in front of everyone. Think about it, this world is dominated by a religious theocracy. She is completely unable to act after discovering her whole life is based on a lie and that’s why she didn’t finish him off.

    These are only a few examples, do not mess with me and Final Fantasy games. I love all of them save Final Fantasy XII, and I will defend them religiously.

    (Please put some thought and effort into your attempt to rile up controversy next time mister Callum Stanley-DeathsHead419)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neil-Dominick/100000184797349 Neil Dominick

    I was really hoping the it came from after midnight guys would make a WACKY guest appearance.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Blarg, I finally got all of the best weapons in the game a while back, and you know what? Ruined the game. I had nothing left to achieve, I had done it all. Dodging the lightning and getting the Jupiter sigil/crest/goddamn blitzball one were the hardest things to do in the entire mini-arc. Getting 0 seconds chocobo racing was nothing next to dodging lightning and once you know the trick it’s ALL boring. What was left, beating the monsters at the ranch? Sorry, but I don’t have a personality capable of grinding. I still haven’t broken level 200 on Disgaea 1 OR 2, and I can pass 10,000? Nope, have a life, thanks. FFX2 is the same, I simply don’t have the patience necessary to max the dress-spheres or complete the Via.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Blayney/683346875 Michael Blayney

    Boy, your face must be red.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Well, I was going to leave the secret to dodging lightning only if someone asked, but Spoony , you brought it up so prepare for PAIN! The trick is actually INSANELY easy, all you need are a piece of equipment with “no encounter” on it, you find one in the game for Rikku, and a nice little map found at Gamefaqs that shows where lightning strikes the most per minute. Equip the armor, go to the spot and STAY THERE. Keep a tally for lightning dodged, I usually make a mark for every ten, and once you hit fifty PAUSE. Get your ass up, get out, and do something else. Read a book, go for a walk, stare at the wall, something. Come back ten minutes later and repeat, you’ll have your 200 dodges hassle free in about an hour, I promise you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zack-Brubaker/100001427230596 Zack Brubaker

    You missed an Ass Count when yunalesa walked out

  • http://www.facebook.com/gareth.duff Gareth Duff

    As a South African I am ashamed that the Vuvuzela was created here.
    Although it probably would make Blitzball make more sense.

  • Anonymous

    Man i just replayed this game, im so glad to get the review fresh after the ending!

    Although i dont agree with everything this was still pretty funny. i fucking love this game because of the combat system and epic visuals. but there are quite a few plot holes. and i dont know if TheSpoony Won will mention it but Tidus has pretty questionable posture. if you pay attention its almost like he ALWAYS has to pee and does that funny dance we all do. quite often i might add.

    this is what i would consider to be the last REAL final fantasy. i know Spooner conciders it 8 but after FFX squaresoft and Enix merged and have been creating even bigger piles of shit than VIII and X combined.

    I MEAN WTF!? IF SOMEONE DOESNT ADDRESS THE SACRALIDGE THATS HAPPEND TO FFVII I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO MAKE MY OWN VIDEO!

    FUCK…….

  • Anonymous

    Saaque si quiere ganar. Pero lo digo o no lo digo? Patido liquidado Don Niembro. El problema es que el arbitro va a suspender el

  • Anonymous

    For the one person who cares the commentary is from an argentian relator named Bambino Pons of latinomerican channel Fox Sports; it seems from a match between Barcelona and Manchester United.

  • Anonymous

    Damn. I find myself more intrigued by Black Lantern Spoony’s story than anything Square is throwing at me.

  • Anonymous

    I never fucking understood the whole under-the-ice thing. They fall THOUSANDS of feet without so much as breaking a toe. It LOOKS like there’s water under there or something (Sin swimming around above them would imply this) but everything is dry and they’re not drowning. And IF it’s not filled with water, why the hell were they fighting on a frozen lake to begin with?! Did the rest of the water past the first foot magically disappear? It’s a hollow lake for fuck’s sake!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Teh-Davez/100000583056311 Teh Davez

    Still gotta say, Spoony, you should give FFIX a go, if only for the sake of playing the only 3D Final Fantasy game that features a main character that isn’t a) an emotional trainwreck who is either whiny or so emo and introverted that nobody really gets why the party gravitates to him as a leader in the first place, b) actually assumes the role of leader for the group and acts as the cohesive which keeps everyone together in the first place, and c) actually chases poon, as opposed to.. well.. all of the other 3D protagonists. The story is also a lot more coherant, and the technology makes sense and isn’t just inexplicably random, and the main villain is the second-most successful Big Bad in Final Fantasy history since Kefka.

  • Anonymous

    So if someone’s house burnt down you would tell them it was like a giant birthday cake with candles to cheer them up? Wakka is an insensitive, racist, bigoted asshole.

    By the way, you should get off the internet. Permanently.

  • Anonymous

    haha you stole that baby crying part from redlettermedia, you sneaky bastard.

  • Anonymous

    No he thinks 6 was the last real FF. He said that the one thing that he didn’t like about 7 was that it was the death of the oldschool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    Seriously, how can you not like Zidane, hes an effortless womanizer, adventurer, always full of energy and grounds out almost every character. He teaches Vivi to stand up for himself, teaches Steiner to use his own judgement, along with inadvertently being his role model, teaches Eiko to be strong along with being the object of her fascination and lust, Amarant’s role model as the careless, cool, mellow and down-to-earth wander, Quina’s frog catcher extraordinaire, Freya’s spiritual comrade, and Dagger’s protector. He has every quality of a natural leader, doesn’t whine or bitch about things, has alot of initiative and enough intellect to premeditate his actions, is emotionally strong and stable(Uhm, Cloud and Squall anyone?), and has a meaningful relationship with all of the main characters. Not only that, but hes cool as hell and is very easy to relate to.

    FF9 is my personal favorite out of the entire series. Its the only FF that has an incredibly strong replay value to me. And I’ve beaten every FF up to 11(First FF game I beat was FF1 when I was 5 back in 93, I didn’t look at the first half walk-through in the manual either). I feel like playing it through again, actually.

    We need to start a petition or something to get Spoony to play and review 9, since no big name reviewer has done it yet.

  • Anonymous

    Pretty much anyone with Google Translator and some time to burn can. I usually do as I am nosy.

  • new comments?

    ow ow

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ali-Yannayon/1363547351 Ali Yannayon

    Hilariously enough, I feel the need to defend FF12 here, in terms of the main character thing. Where 10 tries to pretend Tidus has some sort of impact on the story when he clearly doesn’t, 12 never really tries to do the same with Vaan. Really, Vaan is just there for the player’s benefit, since he and Penelo are the only characters that know nothing about what’s going in and need to have things explained to them, like we do.

    Vaan is what creative writing types call the point-of-view character. We see the story through his eyes, but he is not the main character (see “the Great Gatsby” for a more literary example of this). FF12 never tries to pretend he’s anything more than that. I mean, shit, how many lines does he get?

  • whats going on

    hey

  • Anonymous

    I think I’m the only person that finds vuvuzelas amusing and kinda wants one so I can annoy my friends with it >:3

  • Anonymous

    I think I’m the only person that finds vuvuzelas amusing and kinda wants one so I can annoy my friends with it >:3

  • Anonymous

    Am i the only one who’s terrified of the implications that in the next video we are going to see either spoony, miles, or another TGWTG presenter in a friggin’ tidus costume with a meg ryan wig on? a very human chill just ran up my spine.

    Man, it boggles my mind how many people still defend this game. but then again, people still defend star wars and that is so far down the toilet it’s renting an apartment with the goldfish you flushed when you were 7. people will stick by anything if they can muster up enough nostalgia about it i guess. I, for example, can always find something nice to say about tranzor z or ultraman, despite the fact that i am completely aware it’s dog balls terrible.

  • Anonymous

    Am i the only one who’s terrified of the implications that in the next video we are going to see either spoony, miles, or another TGWTG presenter in a friggin’ tidus costume with a meg ryan wig on? a very human chill just ran up my spine.

    Man, it boggles my mind how many people still defend this game. but then again, people still defend star wars and that is so far down the toilet it’s renting an apartment with the goldfish you flushed when you were 7. people will stick by anything if they can muster up enough nostalgia about it i guess. I, for example, can always find something nice to say about tranzor z or ultraman, despite the fact that i am completely aware it’s dog balls terrible.

  • Anonymous

    Hey i sorta know how you feel on that point. the whole rage about the fact that you are working your butt off to make something worthwhile and you just can’t seem to get ahead, meanwhile, complete tools seem to wiping their ass with 20 dollar bills for managing to scrawl out complete hollow useless garbage like twilight. i’m a comic artist and i am struggling to get somewhere in the agency, and i’m not trying to say i think my stuff is all that great, but when i see the shit that DOES get greenlit and the things they let schmucks like joe quesada do to the established characters without so much as a supervisor, (not to mention the sheer volume of vapid japanese trash that’s being imported so fast and so cheap the ink isn’t even dry before we;re stealing them and translating them from the japanese) it just makes me mad that i have to work as hard as i do just to keep the lights on.

    but the point of this is: don’t give up. i know it sucks and it’s completely and utterly demoralizing to feel like you’re not gonna make it sometimes, but you just gotta keep trying. more often than not, enthusiasm, persistance, and just downright bugging the shit out of people can get you farther than any judgement on the actual merits of one’s talent does. and just take heart in the fact that, the stephanie meyers of the world may be rich and famous now…this week. but in less than five years she’ll be long forgotten, her books won’t be able to be sold for toilet paper, and she’ll be in some back alley somewhere straining grain alcohol through slices of burnt toast in an effort to keep from immediately going blind when she drinks the paint thinner to forget her one true love edward.

    while the people that really care about what they do, really deserve a shot, just keep coming back and eventually get what’s owed them. so hang in there, and just picture meyer all drunk on paint thinner. helps keep the doldrums at bay for me at least :)

  • Anonymous

    well, you might be right that tidus is in fact a driving force to the story and important to the plot, but it really doesn’t matter because that story and plot…are terrible. it doesn’t really make a difference that tidus is more integral to it than spoony made out if the plot he is driving is complete cliche’d garbage. yeah things happen to characters, they develop, they change, but is any of it good? are any of these characters worth a shit in any of their incarnations? do they ever become anything more than the vapid, whiny, boring, poorly dressed, rediculous haird cardboard cutouts they were that i didn’t care about when the game started? is any of it worthwhile storytelling that makes you feel like you didn’t just waste 100 some hours of your life? no? then it’s still a pretty big fail, whether or not it’s the particular flavor of fail spoony said it was.

    I hate to sound this juvenile, but it comes down to this. if your characters are stupid and ugly, and your story is crap, i don’t care how many twists and turns it takes, it’s still crap, regardless of how intricate. you mix one gallon of shit in with 99 gallons of ice creams, what you end up with is still a hundred gallons of crap nobody wants to eat.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JI4546YT5HKPSPOFBPVWH7HNUU Archedgar D

    1- Yuna didn’t send Seymour because the Guados interfered? well gee, it’s not like they have … I don’t know… Weapons? they could have easily secured Seymour and had Yuna perform the ceremony. Your excuse for that plot hole is void.

    2- Yes, you are a bad person for defending FFX.

    3- Etc.

  • Anonymous

    holy shit….you’re right!!!! …tidus is so fucking useless, so annoying, so vapid and unpleasant, so downright hideous that, by comparison, he makes SQUALL look…compentent…. and likeable…and a stylin’ dresser…and EXTREMELY mascuiline…

    ….my mind is blown…

  • Anonymous

    Nice . I had been waiting for this.

    I never played FFX, I couldn’t stand the FF series after 8, with the exception of 9… if that makes any sense. It seems as though 9 did really well, I hope Spoony comments about it sometime.

    I look forward to seeing Black Lantern Spoony and “Tidus”. Excellent work. Though I didn’t really like the intro /ducks!

  • Anonymous

    That is an awesome outlook on life. And damn it, I WILL keep thinking about meyer drunk on paint thinner! At least the one thing I know is that I can be persistent and hopefully (fingers crossed) one day I’ll get a break (I may start hoarding luck charms just to be safe… also maybe try to find the addresses of a few ancient gods of fate and blackmail them into helping me).

    I can see how tough it must be to be a comic artist in this day and age, though. I mean, the thing about manga is that it really is an entirely different industry with a very different ethos from the comic industry, but it still gets mixed in with all graphic novels and makes it difficult for artists and writers on both sides of the page. It gets marketed and franchised similarly, and there’s such a large import of japanese manga (with a lot of the crappy shonen stuff getting in and leaving the good quality seinen stuff out in the cold) that it almost crashes the market and the results are mostly poorly translated (I read manga and I have to look for fan translations to actually get the right dialogue). When people like the fucking ULTIMATE WARRIOR can get comics published which are pure undiluted crap (as well as disturbing… poor santa) there is really something screwed on the scales of reality.

  • Anonymous

    dude, 12 was much better than 13

  • Anonymous

    Here is my take on all the FF games, hoping to generate some sort of response

    Final Fantasy 1 – 10/10 (I must have beat it half a dozen times.)
    Final Fantasy 2 – 8/10 (The leveling system was HORRIBLE, but everything else was awesome!!!)
    Final Fantasy 3 – 8/10 (Great game, few complaints, nothing too severe)
    Final Fantasy 4 – 9/10 (Awesome game! Kane and Cecil pwn!)
    Final Fantasy 5 – ? (never played it T.T)
    Final Fantasy 6 – 10000000000/10 (Oh my god it’s full of stars… Q.Q)
    Final Fantasy 7 – 7/10 (it’s a competent enough game, I was just bored playing it)
    Final Fantasy 8 – 6/10 (boring, but playable)
    Final Fantasy 9 – 9/10 (Awesome game ^.^)
    Final Fantasy 10 – 9/10 (idk why I think so, i guess it’s nostalgia, but i think this game is just epic)
    Final Fantasy 10 2 – 1/10 (only reason why it retains that 1 is because it isn’t Gundam SEED)
    Final Fantasy 11 – ? (refuse to play it)
    Final Fantasy 12 – 7/10 (same as FF7)
    Final Fantasy 13 – 5/10 (uggh, dull as hell)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-van-der-Sloot/1737876984 Rob van der Sloot

    Personally FF9 is when I stopped playing Final Fantasy. FF7 Was a lot of fun, FF8 was annoying and I didn’t finish it. And halfway through FF9 I simply noticed that I wasn’t having any fun. The level grind was boring and such a chore, the story was uninteresting and cliche, none of the characters were interesting, and I simply tossed it aside. I never touched a FF game since. FF9 was probably one of the worst in the series, sorry FF fanboys.

  • Anonymous

    yeah! finally

  • Anonymous

    true but then again playing nothing at all is better than 13… since that is basically the games approach to both storytelling and gameplay I guess play FF 13 was like playing nothing. And yeah I’m bitter… I played through FF 13 once before it hit the US. I played it in the original Japanese and finished it before it even came out here. But to my shock and disbelief my wife bought a copy of the game on the US launch date and, as in custom in the Nyarlathotep household, forced me to play through it again so she could understand the story…

    I didn’t even want to finish it the first time so twice has left me forever bitter and violent towards FF XIII…more so than anyone could ever imagine.

  • Anonymous

    I am in total agreement. The combat system was unique… problems was all clothing changes. The game would have been better with much more minor changes. See ’cause I hated most of how the classes looked on all of the girls so I couldn’t bring myself to use them, which made the game play so slowly. So I often ended up just throwing the controller down with bored rage and going outside… and I hate outside.

  • Anonymous

    Yep! And almost every class in a cos-play wet dream…

  • Anonymous

    Good to know there are other artist that struggle under the oppression of the current lack of good sense and taste that is the current fiction environment. I had to sell my soul to get what little I have published and was forced to even take up a much less creative job (proofing, eww…) which pays strangely well. I might even decide to throw my hat into the editor pit fight one of these days. Although I have to second the never give up! Comics need fresh faces and styles, more now than ever. Although, hehe, I’m Japanese and still agree that most Manga and anime is made of shit and inked in urine. But there are always diamonds mixed in… which is a very disgusting image, I think I need to wash my brain out.

  • Anonymous

    Oh course, my OCD won’t allow me to finish a game if I haven’t checked the internet to see if I’ve missed anything. Yes Nemesis and Penance are a challenge, but nothing that my massive leisure time fueled, life wasted, almost completely worthless in reality, RPG nerd skills couldn’t defeat. I’m also quite grind happy, in most games I find myself 10 levels or more over the suggested level, that could account for how easy RPGs always feel to me but I’ve only had major trouble with American RPGs because I’m not a fan of that Neverwinter Nights/Dragon Age/Many Other titles style (and yes they are basically all the same style of game right down to combat) so I often zone out.

    But then again difficult is relative to each person. But RPGs are made to be difficult, if they were I think they’d be less enjoyable. It is all about the story telling, the art if we’ll go that deep. That was FF X major false step, the story telling.

  • Anonymous

    That’s because there is no argument about the story needed, either you love it or you don’t. From the view of someone that lives on the virtue of storytelling I found it lacking. And of course I do agree that nothing in FF X was really hard to find, defeat or otherwise slaughter.

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron naofumi noda

    If what Spoony saying is true, why majority of people love this game? I went to both Japanese and US sites, which review this game and they all treet this game like a god. Are most people stupid and simple that way or there is another reason for those high scores?

  • Anonymous

    Heh 5 is the one I’ve replayed the most.
    It’s short and the job system gives it great replayability imo.
    Think I’ve finished it up to 6 times now.
    It’s not my favourite though. That would probably be IX or VI.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    FF 2′s leveling system forces on the player too much grinding, the idea was great but it didn’t turn out too well…

    I personally found FF 4 rather boring… Dunno why…

    FF 5 has prolly the best villain in the series and its a great game.

    FF 7, the only thing good about the game is pretty much gameplay… But an RPG just feels so empty when you have to ignore graphics and story to enjoy the game.

    FF 8 Is one of my favorite games, at first it’s not all that great but once you learn your way around the game it gets pretty good, and also has a rather good story.

    FF 13, While rather linear, they managed to keep the story going and the characters started out rather stereotypical, they atleast got deeper.

  • Anonymous

    OMG~! Quick Spoony~! I want to see you dress up as Tidus~
    I’ll will Screenshot the shit out of it and print them so i can paste them on my wall and dream about you~
    >_<~♥

    Hmm, I liked FFX but i have no idea why i liked it… I need to play it again…
    Just because Spoony is reviewing it and Lulu’s big funbags~

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheUltimateBastich TheUltimateBastich

    Cause as idiotic storyline is, gameplay itself can be good (I say can, cuz I don’t know, never played it) and when gameplay is good and people have fun, they tend to not think too much about story and how stupid it is. From my point of view FF is an good RPG series. Now FF became a cash cow, creators know people love series, so they don’t care that much about dumbass moments or shitty storylines. FF fans will buy game anyway and they will love it. FF (recent) storylines are not the worst I’ve ever seen, so I don’t think it’s that big deal, but I love seeing Spoony talking about, cuz I find it entertaining. I’m not always agreeing with him, but I respect his opinion.

    Back to high scores: well I can imagine why people love those games, but as hell I can’t understand hype on such abominations as Twilight.

    P.S.
    Sorry for english, it’s not my native language.

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron naofumi noda

    But I heard that many people in Japan love the story and they don’t talk about the game mechanics, despite the fact that they know Tidus is dum whiny kid. I saw lets play of this game in order to check out the story, and even though I noticed not all what Spoony said are correct, there are still awkward and non-sensical moments in this game.

    P.S its alright, I’m not a native speeker either.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheUltimateBastich TheUltimateBastich

    Which brings us to the point that there are people that like Twilight (that’s unfair comparison as FF story is nowhere as bad). No matter how bad thing can be, someone will love it anyway. I’m guilty of the same thing, but I actually admit that this game I love (better not mention which one is it) sucks hard. Well I can’t explain why so many people love storylines (and defend them) like in FFVIII or X though. For me they are dumb but passable, which is good cuz I can make fun of them :D

  • http://twitter.com/Mossa_san Stefan Nilsson

    I think, if you dodged the lithning 200times you got some armor for Lulu. Best time in my life…..

  • Anonymous

    X-Death is a great villain? O_o I want to have what you’re smoking.

  • http://twitter.com/JackKonEl J.P. Tull

    I was talking more about Hope than I was about Tidus. Even the fact that he’s their pawn because he has a reason to kill Sin is worthless when we have Auron, who also has a reason – to finish the task he failed at the first time and bring peace to his friend. That would have been easier to follow rather than all of that “living dream” bullshit that I foolishly tried to wrap my head around in the wee hours. Tidus doesn’t even fill the role of “swordsman”; Auron has that down. If they had to have him, let him take Wakka’s place as the Blitzballer. He’s meant to be a natural at it, and you get rid of another annoying prick. Win-win!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, more than anything else it’s about persistance. if you think you’re not gonna make it and give up, well, you’re not gonna make it, but if you keep pushing and just refuse to quit, you’ll get there, it will just take time. and sadly a lot of watching other less deserving products get made by short sighted editors, but your time will come.

    people like meyer are flavors of the month. it’s just been a very long month, but it will end. look at JK rowling, it’s already started with her. all the potter movies are over, the fad is dying, the book’s aren’t selling anymore, and they’ve copped out hard enough to try selling a theme park, that’s pretty much the nail in the coffin to me. people still remember harry potter, of course, but the fire is severely diminished, and the “wizard” thing, while not gone completely, you sure see and hear a lot less about it. not to mention that Rowling as far as i know has produced nothing, no new material of any kind since she finished the books (though i could be completely wrong on that point, feel free to correct me if you know, but i sure haven’t heard of anything she made, though admittadly i’m not a potter fan)

    I’m telling you, it’s only a matter of time before that paint thinner thing really happens to meyer. it’s a ticking clock and it’s counting down to the day that the last twilight movie is in the can, because the second that happens, the marketing machines wheels will start grinding to a halt. she’s out of books, for god’s sake, she’s REWRITING older books in the series from different characters POV just to have something….ANYTHING to be making with the twilight logo on it, to keep it in the public consciousness. and she put her own expiration date on it too, since she’s cranking out those movies once a year, it will take even less time for the world to forget her. i’d say in only a couple years of fame, she’s already drained her creative well (not that i’d call anything she did at…uh…”the top of her game” we’ll say…was anything to write home about either. i thought it was shit from day one, but the difference is even her fans are starting to think that now) and has already reached her gimmicky “enterprise” phase of just desperately producing any garbage with the brand name on it just to have royalty checks coming in. though, it took star trek a couple decades to get that desperate, meyer didn’t even get half of ONE decade before she started her “enterprise” phase haha.

    and as for manga, I actually used to love it, i don’t hate it as a concept, and i don’t blame japan for making the stuff, i blame the american marketing executives who seem to randomly grab whatever scraps the japanese have on the offerring table that day, without ever reading it, researching it or basically giving a crap at all whether it’s good or bad, whether its what the fans wanted, or basically any other criteria beyond “can we sell card games and action figures of this?” there IS good anime and manga out there, no doubt about that, but it gets buried in the Everest sized pile of vapid copycat garbage anime/manga that some schmuck over at cartoon network bought to run for 5 yrs despite it only being a 6 ep. series (COUGH COUGH Fooly cooly COUGH) for literally no other reason than “it’s got big eyes and tiny mouths in it and them there kids seem to dig that…put it on five nights a week…and if possible, cancel something good so this can have it’s spot”

    a lot of people don’t seem to realize that manga is a medium, not a genre. manga and anime are as a broad a concept as “making movies” or “writing books” but for some reason marketing execs think that anime/manga as a whole is a genre, like “gladiator movies” or “adam sandler comedies” and therefore assume that they are all essentially the same and if you like one, you’ll like em all. which is just rediculous. the anime and comic industries in japan are taken WAAAAAAAAAAAY more seriously than ours are, and they just consider it “telling a story” not “telling a manga story” ya know? there are good ones, bad ones, great ones, and apocalyptically shitty ones, like any other medium. it’s all about the creators and what they do with it. us marketing boys need to learn that. they need to start doing some quality control and not just taking every goddamn thing that comes from the isle of yamato.

    I mean, you don’t see the japanese going bananas for shitty bootleg copies of old 3′s company episodes ( “subbed or dubbed?” “well SUBBED of course! REAL american sitcom fans appreciate it in it’s original language you heathen!!”). That;s because, though the japanese like a lot of our media, they realize it should be judged individually on it’s own merits and not lumping it in with every other from of media from it’s country of origin. we really need to do the same.

    I’m sorry, god that was rambly, but this is a subject that’s really easy to get me yammerring on about…hell who am i kidding? there are plenty of topics that do that…i just don’t know how to shut the hell up is what the damn problem is…:)

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, sometimes you gotta make some shitty compromises to get your stuff out there, and that never feels good, but you gotta just sort of look at it as “this is me paying my dues, this is me putting up with all the shit so that when i get my break and i get some money, I can start making the rules about what goes out and what doesn’t”. it seems hollow to say when you’re a long way off, but just remember, if you hang in there long enough, you’ll eventually be in a position to start making decisions, and fixing all the industry problems that plagued you when you first started. that’s my goal, and it’s taking time, but i’m making progress. it will happen

    and about tossing your name into the editor hat…you should really think about it. editors are the guys who get the final say (at least in the major industries, some of the smaller ones are more democratic it seems) and that’s the position you need to be in to start making real changes. I’d been reading through your comments up higher on the list about FFX and you sound like a smart guy, who at the very least knows a good story (and by proxy a bad one with plot holes so big you could fly the highwind through them) when they see it, and people like that are the ones that need to be making the final calls on this stuff, not douchebags who consider pokemon to be the height of japanese media output for no other reason than it has sold the most lunchboxes and backpacks for the little urchins over here. we need people who are more concerned with telling a story and putting out a good product than they are about tieing in a trading card game and a mcdonalds happy meal toy.

  • Anonymous

    another area tidus excells at is that he is genuinely agile. He can hit quickly at melee range, which can bre pretty useful. Auron’s a competant swords man, but’s he’s all power no speed. He’s a tank; fast but slow. Tidus is quick and agile, and somewhat powerful, but not as tough as auron.

  • Anonymous

    the last time they tried the badass the game flopped. they didn’t want a mistake so from marketing it wasn’t a horrible point of view

  • Anonymous

    Dude, will you let go Final Fantasy? You obviously don’t understand neither it, nor what’s this is about. So why don’t you stick to reviewing all that american garbage like Ultima and whatever that you like or don’t like. That’s what I’m coming here for.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

    WAAHH WAAAAHHH WAAHHHHHH!!!

    The plot of FFX doesn’t make sense to me either, and I’m pretty sure it’s not some kind of cultural gap that “you obviously don’t understand neither it, not what is this is about”. Uhhh…huh.

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    I liked FFX and Spoony’s review is just for laughs. He makes a lot of good points about its absurdity and major plot holes. Let the man vent. ;) No worries.

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    Hell yea, FF6 BEST FF GAME EVAR!

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheUltimateBastich TheUltimateBastich

    Now I only wonder if Black Lantern Spoony (since he’s original Spoony killed by Squall) will return to reviewing and kill his clone. Seriously, I want to see evil win for once! Anyone remember Dungeon Keeper games? It’s good to be bad!!!

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    I would like a Spoony FF9 review but it would be too good and won’t be as funny. Maybe it could be a Vlog review where he can give it major props would work for me. ^_^

  • http://twitter.com/Ziekk Nick Reynolds

    These are always great reviews, I get to relive these horrible games without having to touch them again.

    Thanks, Spoony!

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    X-Death’s funniest side is that he is basicly… a tree. But when he makes his appearance, it’s a rather epic scene. And throughout the game he has the whole “You are no match for me!” thing going on.. and he has all the right for it, untill the final fight of the game, they only managed to injure him. And one his minions has become a legend and a recurring character.

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron naofumi noda

    As I said before there are many scenes that don’t make much sense, but I noticed the story succeeds to tell its own message to the player. I noticed that while I was watching a video about the game. But I still don’t think Tidus should have been the protagonist. I realized that many Japanese fiction stories tend to have childish characters. Probably this makes easy for those story directors to develop their characters, which I think it as a lazy way to write a story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Teh-Davez/100000583056311 Teh Davez

    Well, your opinion is your own. Don’t see why you’d feel the need to say sorry for it. Protip: Not every fan is a shrieking moron like FF7 and FF8 fans.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sevthebeast Sev Hajinian

    i actually was concerned when Dr. Insano tossed his son. like he chucked an actual baby.

  • http://idigcomics.tumblr.com/ Matt

    Hey, wouldn’t it be awesome if Seymour’s last name was Butts? No? FUCK YOU GUYS!

    *runs off crying*

  • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

    More accurately, sorry to FFIX FANGIRLS. Grinding is boring as shit, but the story is the best in the series.

  • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

    I love you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/serstoic Jordi Love

    Oh, and Sage did it, so that’s good with me

  • Anonymous

    Good…I was getting tired of those dongly things not working and clogging up my closet.

    Black Lantern Spoony is one evil bastard for bringing us Tidus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Blayney/683346875 Michael Blayney

    You ask me, Final Fantasy X-2 *is* fucking evil winning.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheUltimateBastich TheUltimateBastich

    LOL But I don’t like FF X-2 and I like original Spoony (even if clone is doing the same thing) =)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Blayney/683346875 Michael Blayney

    … Are you *really* trying to defend Final Fantasy by telling him he doesn’t get it? Really?

    WHAT’S TO GET?

    Squenix has been phoning it in for years. What’s that, you say? The world needs saving and only androgynous teenage fuckhats can rise to the task? BOOM, HERE’S YOUR SHITTY GAME.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily blame Squenix. I blame you, and everyone like you, who tries to defend idiotic plots, stupid character designs, an emphasis on graphics over storyline, a complete lack of meaningful decisions on the part of the player (y’know, fucking ROLE-PLAYING), and the list goes on.

    Seriously, fuck your Final Fantasy fanboyism, and fuck your whiny, ungrateful, shit-for-brains twattery.

  • http://twitter.com/thisgamesux THiSGaMeSuX

    Final Fantasy is the funniest of the Spoony series, if you don’t appreciate it you either have no sense of humor or are coming to this website for the wrong reasons.

    Boo hoo somebody is picking on my game that i have a boner for, so what, i hated the Final Fantasy series (except 7) and this is good therapy for me because growing up in a world where all your nerd friends think FF8 is a great game can be infuriating.

    The games suck, bro, they usually have a retarded plot with retarded characters and seriously i don’t understand why people would throw their time away playing this garbage.

    All that aside it isn’t like Spoony hasn’t given bad reviews to things i liked, and yet i didn’t bitch about it.

    imagine that.

  • Anonymous

    You’re not supposed to like evil. That’s what makes it true evil.

    True evil, like Spoony in a Tidus outfit. >_<

  • Anonymous

    Trust me, I can ramble on for literally hundreds of pages (and I have *wince*). But damnit, ranting is good for the soul! It stops you from re-enacting the Manson murders… Ouch! My keyboard just jumped up and hit me!

    I really can’t stand to see what the western market does to comics, anime, manga, and hell, just visual and written media in general. I mean, if you’re reading manga, then you MIGHT have a chance at getting something close to the original once it’s been processed through marketing, but if you’re looking for anime… do I even need to go into the kind of murder 4kids has done to shonen and shoujo-type anime? They have taken ENTIRE arcs and plots, dialogue and ideas and re-worked them to fit into some kind of shoddy “western values” crap that is really only about indoctrinating kids for some fucked-up ideology that makes less than no sense (because obviously what spin the corporate executives put on series at a moment’s glance is so much superior to what the creators have spent months and years working and thinking about). There are so many things that are just BUTCHERED. 60% of my favourite anime and manga were teeth-pulling hard to get because a lot of the really good works that can easily stand on their own on artistic merits are brushed aside by the companies that import and translate anime and manga in favour of 300 episodes of Naruto filler (… I’m not even going to go INTO what I hate and can’t stand about that because I may just bash my own head in over it). Forget even trying to get copies of light novels without needing a japanese-english dictionary, a chart of kanji, and a romanised translation *facepalm*.

    Aaaand then we come to english written mediums. Science-fiction/fantasy (which is, unfortunately, where all my writing and manuscripts fall into) is… the entire genre is sinking under the weight of crappy faux-goth vampire fics marketed entirely to fourteen year old girls! I mean, for fuck’s sake! At my local Borders bookstore, the entire ground floor level used to be devoted to sci-fi/fantasy… now HALF (literally half!) has been taken up by titles such as “The Vampire Diaries.” And god-forbid you try to get these kids to read a vampire novel halfway decent (like, I don’t know, the old Anne Rice? The original Dracula? You, know, books WHICH HAVE A POINT! (which, by the way, are all stuck in the corner under “horror” where no one actually goes)). You see writers like Philip Dick, Ian Banks, and Arthur Clark shoved around the side, and it is painful. My little sister has Twilight posters but doesn’t know who George Orwell is (and she’s now 17). At this point, I’d be happy if she read Harry Potter. It may be badly-written, childish, and commercial but next to the self-pitying, purple prosed, mary sue, author insert, brain-killing drivle that is twilight, it reads like Dostoyevsky. I even understand that reading some light-hearted, fun, trash is great once in a while… but twilight is pathetic, stupid, and celebrates such shallow, emo, weak and superficial writing that it makes me want to burn every copy in existence. Every fiber of my being is screaming to KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! And, unlike Buffy (which even the show itself admits is cheap, action-flicky, comedic and generally harmless (if annoying)), twilight takes itself seriously. It’s obvious that meyer actually thinks this is what good writing looks like.

    It seems like there’s a race going on between the different visual and written mediums to see who can reach the lowest point first. It would probably be possible to set up a betting pool and at least make some cash off of the slumming of our respective mediums. I suppose we all just have to remind ourselves that throughout the history of the human race there has been popular trash, but it hasn’t lasted through the ages, and it won’t stand the test of time.

    … I am going to be so pissed off through if I die before any of my stuff is sold. I swear if that happens I WILL come back from beyond the grave and haunt the fuck out of every single publishing house on the planet!

  • Anonymous

    I have a very good supply of brain bleach that I had to use after reading twilight and being linked to the 4chan imageboards (hit head repeatedly against wall), among other things…

    You can use it but you have to promise to not sue me if your brain collapses into a ball of fairy floss. It happened to a friend of mine after they had to sit through a TNAimpact marathon and they’ve never been the same since (although we’re still not sure whether it was the wrestling or the bleach that killed his ability to think).

  • Anonymous

    His son is an ultimate lifeform (experiment). It’ll come bouncing right back up on it’s little feet…tentacles..thingy…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julien-Tenkanen/616862969 Julien Tenkanen

    I heard that Bosch was supposed to be the main character in FF12, which is why Vaan and Penelo don’t really feel like they are part of the story. They were more or less an after thought. The guy who was responsible for Vagrant Story, FF: Tactics and FF12 was told that the has to add Vaan in order to get more sales. He left Square shortly after FF12 was released because of this.

  • Anonymous

    haha yes, i love FF6 with a passion!

  • Anonymous

    I think the GBA remake fixed a lot of the problems, much really it just made u grind more, soo….

    to be honest FF4 had to grow on me, initially i thought it was boring, but i eventually grew to love it

    haha, x death is pretty legit, since i hear such good things about 5 ill play it

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s exactly how I feel about 7!

    I’ve beaten FF8 twice actually, and the i really had a hard time getting into it both times, it took me about a year to beat because i had to force myself to play it, but the second time i wizzed through it

    FF13 essentially I agree with what you’re saying but it’s just so boring, that it and FF5 are the only FF’s i haven’t beaten

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_A7JBDLS5EO566RT43WE6ONEU64 KoffaS

    Dear Jesus, is their anyone else that haven’t commented?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1630055637 Boyce Deaton

    Interestingly enough I actually played this game in 2005 after Katrina when they finally got the power working at my house. Needless to say, Katrina was the second biggest disaster that year for me. Zing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    He must mean the Guado guards that facepalm into Tidus’s sword and die in 1 hit. And I’m still gonna call him Tie-dus, not Tee-dus, just like I call the protagonist from FF5 Butz and not Bartz. They did a bad job translating it, and its what I grew up calling them. Whoever is doing the translating needs to learn english first(wait… no, nevermind. I just thought of Zero Wing… lol disregard that)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    He must mean the Guado guards that facepalm into Tidus’s sword and die in 1 hit. And I’m still gonna call him Tie-dus, not Tee-dus, just like I call the protagonist from FF5 Butz and not Bartz. They did a bad job translating it, and its what I grew up calling them. Whoever is doing the translating needs to learn english first(wait… no, nevermind. I just thought of Zero Wing… lol disregard that)

  • Anonymous

    Why does everyone always say “you don’t get it” when you don’t like something that they do? as if the only possible reason in the world to dislike it would be a complete failure to grasp it as a concept, that there couldn’t possibly be any fault in the original product, therefore YOU are the one with the problem for not liking it, for not being able to fully appreciate the cosmic wonder that is this stupid fucking thing they hold so dear.

    well, i got news for ya. People can hate something because sometimes it’s bad, sometime’s it makes no sense, and sometimes it just isn’t your speed, all of which are valid reasons and do not require me to “understand” some little piece a shit because someone else happens to like it. You wanna like it, fine, but don’t tell anyone they are stupid for not agreeing with you, and for the love of god, don’t tell people what they do or do not understand

    I don’t like cabbage, that doesn’t mean i “just don’t get what cabbage is all about” I just fucking don’t like it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Draper/590328663 Daniel Draper

    Lol, Ultima kicked ass you rube. Games like that and Wizardry laid the groundwork for games like Final Fantasy, so learn some damn respect. Without them, there would be no Final Fantasy. Oh, don’t forget about other American trash games like FALLOUT and PLANESCAPE.

    FFX is the only Final Fantasy that I felt ashamed to play(I hated 8 but not as much as 10), especially during the cutscenes. I was so disgusted after the laughing scene, ugh I can’t talk about it. I liked the sphere grid, but I thought the implementation was retarded considering you would just eventually come around to mastering everything anyways. Just more ‘busy work’. Its all Squeegix knows how to do anymore, is busy work. Because thats what RPG gaming is turning into. Just something to do. Not involving or intricate, just a job. TES Oblivion is a good example of this, 99.5% of the game is busy work and 1/2 % is meaningful storyline.

    I long for the days when Final Fantasy was the ‘best kept secret’ of console gaming. Shit, when I was in middle school, no one even knew what the hell Final Fantasy was. I wish I could revisit those times.

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron naofumi noda

    Is Spoony saying “Seymor is an obvious villain” in terms of his appearance or what he has done so far? Seymor acted out like a good guy in order to hide his true nature and rule his people without being noticed about his plan. The attack of Anima was for killing those monsters, which released by himself. He told to the protagonist’s group that he is perusing for piece around the world. I got to admit that he looks evil and his tone makes us to think like he is up to something no good, but that is not going to be an evidence to prove Seymor’s sin. We just can’t say something like “I don’t like his appearance so let’s kill him” right?

  • http://twitter.com/nnecron naofumi noda

    Its not so bad though. Even though the protagonist isn’t contributing enough to the story and there are many confusing story sequence, it manages to tell its message, even though the message is nothing we haven’t heard of.

  • Anonymous

    I went through Phantasy Star Universe, if for no other reason than I loved the Mega Drive games. Err Genesis I guess… I keep forgetting that the world couldn’t make up their minds and agree on what to call system back in those days.

  • Anonymous

    Of course Rowling has no need to write new material at this point, since she has about enough money to buy the Queen and place herself on the throne… That is professional bitterness again and I LIKE the Harry Potter series.

  • Anonymous

    *feeling his already sizable Ego grow three sizes this day*

    Working in proofing is like being a sewage worker, I clean up shit all day. Most Editors don’t even do their own reading anymore, not in big publishing firms, they have us slobs to do the dirty part of the work. That is reading some manuscript that has never seen a spell check, which in modern computer word processors is baffling, and then pass on a copy with all the little mistakes outlined. I’m in the same building as the editors when I go into the office but not the same floor, if you get the joke and image.

    Oh and I completely agree with you, art isn’t about money. It is about…err… *ponders for a bit* Art I guess? Tis the sad fact these days that art somehow needs to equal money in the minds of modern thinkers. Look at movies for one, if they win a bunch of Oscars then they must be good right? But like most other awards Oscars are bought rather than won. Which is sad.

  • Anonymous

    Indeed. I agree Zack. But I’ve coined a phrase lately “You can’t fight the Fanboy Tide”. It is like swimming against a tide wave. It is very easy to find reasons to excuse poor plot, very easy to make allowances for bad story telling, easy to close your eyes to Deus Ex Machina Godzilla monsters. You’ve just paid 60 Dollars for a game, you don’t want it to be crap. You’d rather find any excuse to make a bad game into something great. I’ve been there, with many titles. But in the end I’m manage to step away and ponder for a bit. After every movie, episode or game I spend between 5 and 10 hours pondering my opinions before I decide on them.

    But to Even Seberg. I’m not insulting you at all, don’t feel the need to have an attack mixed into your posts, this is a debate not a fight. I only used the internet if I felt something was missing. I’m a high functioning Asperger syndrome sufferer. This means I don’t think like you do, I don’t function like other people. To me games are stories to be told, no matter if it is a story told completely of shotgun blasts to the faces of various Aliens or a long journey (don’t stop believin’) towards a larger and less swallow goal. I also can’t leave a zone until I have everything, which means my playtime in game is often 10 time longer than other peoples might be. My way of finding the proper bribe amounts was to start at a baseline and work from there, creating a spread sheet as I go. I can’t leave a zone until I’ve been to every corner of the map, until I fought and killed every enemy enough times to know all their dropped items and until I’m sure my own mental process can find nothing else hidden or in plain sight. Then my OCD kicks in and I have to check my finding against another source, this happens to be the internet these days or sometimes a friend. I reject using Walkthroughs or even Guides of any kind due to it stealing gameplay from me, I paid for that gameplay. But on the otherhand I’m not able to continue until I’ve seen everything, in the case that a single line of dialog might pop up. This is the reason I’ve had so many problems with American RPGs. I mean no insult or disrespect to you, but our minds don’t work the same.

  • http://www.facebook.com/imaeatchurface Anthone Jason Licari Lamb

    That last bit with Dark Spoony was better acted, better produced, better written, more dramatic, and far more entertaining than this entire game combined.

  • http://www.facebook.com/imaeatchurface Anthone Jason Licari Lamb

    Oh, and the connection to the FFVIII review with the dongly thing was hilarious and brilliant.

  • Anonymous

    Hi I’m a Japanese American, born in Japan and relocated to America. I also hate Final Fantasies VII, VIII, X, X-2, XII and REALLY hate Final Fantasy XIII. I find them to be insulting the intelligence of the player with plots that tend to dead end and then sudden whatever Deus Ex Machina appears and uses its magic wand (toxin, Mako, whatever) to get the plot moving again for another 4 to 5 hours until it grinds to a halt again.

    I hardly ever play the English Version of any of these games so I can safely say it isn’t a language thing either, not really anyway.

    But calling all those “American” games trash is a bit perplexing since a good portion of the Ultima games were made in Canada. So were Wizardry and “Magic and Magic” from what I recall. Are you just saying that all games made outside of Japan are garbage? God of War was garbage (well a little in the later games but…)? How about Fallout? Fallout 2? These are all great games without the plot issues that main of the Final Fantasy games have had.

    Japanese RPGs are basically very complex Manga or Anime you see. Interactive Anime without all the naughty sex that comes from other interactive forms of Anime. Final Fantasy hasn’t, for at least the last 10 years, been the best JRPGs have to offer. The wonderful Tales of (insert world name here) series is a must play for fans for both anime and JRPGs. Final Fantasy can’t compete was that series in storytelling so it has gone for Graphics.

    You see when an RPG series starts to focus on the visual rather than the Storytelling it suffers and insults your intelligence at the same time. “HEY! Look at the shinny keys! Ignore the man behind the curtain! Look Bloom effects! Wow look at all the flashing colors!” Not that having poor graphics makes your game good… I’m looking at you Resonance of Fate!

  • Anonymous

    You know Spoony, I haven’t had this much fun debating a subject on the internet since *ponders* well since Transformers 2. Heh, I might even start commenting all regularly like. I really can not wait for the next video so as I can comment on the ending, I have so much rage bottled up over that it is almost impossible to hold it back.

  • Anonymous

    IDK why but when Dr. Insano said “The wheels of science are always turning!” I laughed like an idiot. XD Rly nice work Spoony. Only problem, you make us wait too long for a new part to the review. Try to make em weekly or every 2 weeks or w/e.

  • http://twitter.com/FoxDie_Alive Charlie Robinson

    i loved this game, even though im aware of its flaws. alot of it seems to be nit-picking to me though, but ive enjoyed the videos so far. i feel its important for people who have never experienced a video game or movie to do so for themselves, particularly with reviews like this which are very one-sided. at least give the game credit for not using the tired RPG story of “If you are a teenager with hair in your face living in a town with less than 20 people, get ready cause you are about to save the world.” also, im surprised you havent brought up that Wakka is voiced by John Dimaggio, or Bender as hes better known…………..maybe you have and ive missed it.

  • Anonymous

    While funny I think there are some point being left out when reviewing a game such as this. From the remarks made you are assuming that the characters we are playing as come from the same society from us when that is clearly not the case. It’s sort of the sense of ignorance most of society may have today basing their belief’s on another culture without getting a full idea of that culture.

    With regards to Tidus, honestly how composed could you be if you yourself were thrown into another world and everyone you ever knew just disappeared aside from Auron. That’s what Tidus has to deal with so while people may say he’s bitchy and whiney there really is a reason behind it. The character would be kinda flat if they were the heroic oh I’m in a new world time to save the world deal. Tidus is basically a foreigner in a new land attempting to cope with his situation as well as understand the customs of the people. From his mindset a lot of what he sees he may deem obscene but in the eyes of the other charcters, because of their culture and beliefs accept it for what it is.

    No matter how goofy Seymour may look, to the other characters he’s seen as a leader figure, as ones who may not have liked Bush, or to nations with Communistic leadership while we may not like it here to the people they either pay no mind to it or deal with it. Though in terms of communism they lived more in tyranny where some do seek refugee however when it comes to the world of Spira, from what I remember there really was no sense of tyranny. If I remember correctly the whole ideal of Spira was a land that basically lived in peace and at times when Sin came the people had no need to worry as the Summoner would handle it. Though even with the summoner handling it there are those who still try to fight Sin no matter how futile it may be.

    Even though one may say the needs of many outweigh the needs of one, it’s still hard to accept when it’s closer to you. In terms of Rikku, the reason why she wanted to stop Yuna was because they were family(even though they do use some aggressive tactics to try and take her which in itself is funny cause then they end up shedding more blood just to save the one girl). That again comes to putting yourself into the mindset, how accepting would you truly be if you were aware that by sacrificing the one you cared for the most would save the lives of many.

    Again everything comes to the ideal of cultural differences, just because we may find something to be batshit insane and wonder wtf they are thinking, you have to remember they come from a different culture and have to realize the mindset they are in. Wakka lost his brother cause of failed machina, while silly in itself there have been odder moments of grudges made from others lol. Wakka also has a dedicated belief to what he does and even if he himself may not like the idea of Yuna being a sacrifice he still accepts it because it’s in his faith, which could be drawn back to how sacrifices would be used to please the gods, while some may backlash like Rikku and say “no don’t do this” on the otherside you’ll have Wakka who has the same ties as Rikku may have in terms of how close they are to Yuna accept the fact that the needs of many outweigh the needs of one.

    The part with when they could’ve sent Seymour to the otherside is odd but it could also be seen as a conflict of feelings. On one side you have Yuna dealing with a situation about the marriage proposal and how it would’ve united Spira more and at the same moment the Guado come to take their fallen leader away. It was only Auron that tried to get Yuna to perform the sending it probably could’ve been handled better to avoid him into coming back to bit them in the ass. in that sense though i think Auron realize that at that point to perform such a sending would put an even huge damper on their reputation then they already had which is why in the end they didn’t forcefully try to get Seymour sent.

    I will agree with you though no matter what view you may take on the destruction of Rikku’s homeland/town the way Wakka handled it was pretty bad.You do have to wonder what was going through his head when he thought of saying that.

    Overall though I’m just trying to point out the idea of cultural differences and how ones personality may be affected by the way they are brought up. To base a stories possible plotholes or poor characters because you perceive their way of thinking as illogical in a sense is ignorant.What makes stories engaging is when you can see the characters, their culture and how it effects who they are as a person. It’s like saying why is it in a medieval times based game is the character being such a pussy toward the King and following every order they are requested. it’s because that character has an allegiance towards the King and will most likely follow any order they receive no matter what they think of it in fear of death. Now if you were to think the way the characters in X act are bad then you’d also have to say that the character which is acting like a pussy towards the king is also a bad character since you yourself wouldn’t act that way towards them. Heck even the burning of witches while now as a society we may find it to be completely obscene that such a thing ever occurred, it is a fact that it did happen. Cultures and the way people think change overtime and if you truly wish to understand the most out of things like rpgs that take place in a different realm from the cultures of earth, you have to take off your personal culture hat and prepare to put yourself into the mindset of the characters. While it’s easier to make fun of others because of their culture it only leads to wars and bloodshed. And yes I do realize it’s silly to get into such a philosophical idea of cultural differences but it’s something that I believe people overlook at times and because of it they end up missing the bigger picture of the story. While some stories may end up with the same conclusion isn’t it more fun when you can actually understand the culture and it’s relation to the overall story then to just make fun of it because they think differently then you?

  • http://twitter.com/VagrantSamurai Evan

    Uh…you DO know this is a satirical review, right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/TehJrn Jaron Clark

    This may have already be brought up, but I can help explain at least the confusion of where Sin was and how they got to the desert. First off, Sin was in the lake. It’s only part of the lake that is hollowed out by the song of the Faith. So Sin was in the lake the whole time listening to the song. They bring up on multiple occasions that Jecht liked the songs. It’s also possible that Sin was following them. As for how they were transported, they have already shown that Sin has the ability to carry people to other places. And, while it may be hard to believe, Macalania Temple and forest isn’t that far away from the desert island of the Albed. While one is a desert and one is frozen, they mention that Macalania is only frozen because of the song of the Faith that Shiva sings. So they actually weren’t transported half way across the world. However, the time frame in which it all happens and the nature of how Sin transported them is still up in the air. Just thought I could help explain the distance problem a little bit.

  • Anonymous

    It’s okay, it’s okay, you know? Look, personally I can’t stand this game (and Tidus) but this is just an opinion and he is just picking apart the game like any he has done before. It’s obvious, and impressive, that you’ve analysed this game and found such meaning in it, and your points are quite valid, I can’t deny that, but the job of a reviewer (ANY reviewer) is to pick apart and debate any perceived inconsistencies, whether real or imagined, from their subjective stance, on their chosen subject. It really is okay that you have such a different opinion and you respect the game so much. but you don’t need to defend it so rigorously. I mean, of course you can (In this comments section alone I’ve ranted for a loooooong time myself), and feel free to do so, but you don’t have to.

    Btw: I don’t mean to sound patronizing or condescending in any way (I’m honestly impressed with what you’ve said). I am, however, sleep deprived (which can result in some strange posting).

  • Anonymous

    My assessment of the game

    Zanarkand – Luca: Meh

    Luca to Bevelle: Meh with several really awesome bits (7/10)

    Calm Lands to End: Epic (9/10)

    The third act always struck me as epic because it is the only part that genuinely exceptional. At this point in the story Tidus is no longer the immature whiner that he was at the start of the story, but a smarter, more mature, more intelligent, and more responsible individual. He does have his moments, but they are relatively rare. It’s also the part where it feels like he belongs (influencing Yuna not to do the Final Summoning) rather then being shoehorned. His final actions are genuinely selfless and heroic (helping to defeat Sin for good and freeing the land from fear even though it means he will fade away forever despite opportunities to try and run). It also makes genuinely good points (you shouldn’t try to decieve people with false hope even if it makes them feel better because sometimes it leads to more suffering). In short, he goes out with style and without being a bitch.

    The concept of Tidus isn’t horrible, but the execution is: James Arnold Taylor’s voice acting was just not good enough and as such he came across as a whiny bitch. As a result, the more important aspects (Tidus’s evolution into a mature young man) and the fact that he was in an unfamiliar environment having had everything snatched from under him (making his actions somewhat understandable, but still rather irritating) tend to be less noticable. I honestly believe that a different voice actor could have made the character more relatable (No offense James Arnold Taylor, but here you simply just weren’t the right guy for the job).

    As for seymour being obviously evil: If something doesn’t fit into your worldview, people don’t consider it. Seymour is one the most powerful individuals in the church that has set the moral standard for the past 1000 years, and quite a few of the party members are rather devout. The idea of a moral authority being a corrupt bastard was a concept they simply couldn’t fathom; look at how many tried to downplay the atrocities at abu gharib. It’s stupid yes, but it is an established human trait. Tidus was new to the yevonite faith, as such he wasn’t as blind to the truth (hence why he didn’t trust seymour.)

  • Anonymous

    I think you may be white-washing the problem here. While, yeah, we can put the blame on some poor decisions on culturally motivated, I don’t think 100% of the stupid fits into that category. Besides, I don’t think creating a deep and involving culture is really the focus of SquareEnix. (See> Dirge of Ceberus).

    Besides, where does that leave us? The story of a guy from a strange culture that appears illogical to us, having to adapt to another strange culture that appears illogical to us? Aaaaand the audience relates to…. what?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Eis/1464941192 Matthew Eis

    to be honest, having never played this game. I always did think Yuna was the man character. Oh wells. I agree with you alot of the motivations are retarded. Who the fuck marries a felon to get him to confess to a murder?

  • Anonymous

    I loved FFXII. Then I played FFX and it was an uber disappointment. Story is kinda dumb IMO.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    By the way, the Blitzball might not actually be the least fitting weapon in the whole series, I’d say that title goes to… Cards. There are two FF games that have cards as a weapon. Final Fantasy 6, one of Setzer’s weapons. And in Final Fantasy Tactics A2 cards are an actual weapon group… What the crap does throwing a card at an enemy do?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julien-Tenkanen/616862969 Julien Tenkanen

    paper cuts?

    • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

      I don’t think you can THROW a card hard enough to cause even a paper cut… I can see them at most just bouncing off the enemies.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NF4DV6G64PVNOFIXYBFUWW6HOU Lydia Stoganoff

    what was the story’s message? All I got out of it when I played it was its better to sacrifice yourself for the greater good of the world and be brokenhearted, rather than spend eternity with the one you love.

    Spoony doesn’t hate anime he just hates bad voice acting for anime characters.

    Ther reason Tidus is the protagonist is the audience for ff games is preteens.

  • Anonymous

    “Boom! Like happy festival fireworks ya?” XD

  • Anonymous

    …maybe all the enemies are compulsive gamblers so even the sight of card starts the cold sweats for a good round of poker?

  • Anonymous

    Me too. KunioRansom you’re argument has been the best stated thus far. I’m glad that someone on the pro FF X side isn’t just responding with Fanboy rage and has instead created a very thoughtful post detailing their opinion. That is really all I ask for (as an unpleasable jackass).

  • Anonymous

    So I’ve been thinking a bit about FF X since I started commenting here, pondering and rethinking some of my opinions… Sadly I have found no proof within my own mind to change my thoughts. FF X IS and ALWAYS will be a bad game, a waste of a good concept really and that is the worst Sin of all (holds for laughter at his terrible pun…)

    We, as the consumers, hold in our hands the ability to change the video game market. We hold all the power and the developers know this. But like politics it is best to keep your base uninformed and uneducated. Video games are art and from this point on will always be art and should be held to a higher standard. We shouldn’t need to debate a game’s value, there should be little argument as to if a game is good or not. The problem is all of us, me, you and everybody. We buy these terrible games in the vain hope that we won’t be disappointed again, and again, and again. We listen to the hype, follow a given game from concept, to alpha testing, to beta testing and demos, and we promise ourselves no matter what flaws we see the game will be better on release. We are are the subject of our own downfall. Every time we pay retail price (or any price for that matter) for a game we are telling the developers it is okay to put out trash, it is fine to be bland and mediocre. But I implore all of us, myself included, to begin to think before we buy, to question that which we hate and enjoy, and to always be skeptical of the hype.

    This is the only way to change the market.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      If FFX is a bad game in your opinion (it’s always your opinion so dont post it as fact you dumb shit) then please keep your posts short as there is no way you can appear non-retarded anymore

      • Anonymous

        thanks for trolling, try again later.

      • Anonymous

        thanks for trolling, try again later.

  • Anonymous

    Two things:
    1) Are there any *GOOD* JRPGs post-FFVIII? No idea what Spoony thought of FFIX, but since the current console gen and FFXIII specifically, there’s only been a sh!t storm about how bad the genera is. Does it have any hope whatsoever?

    2) Knowing how badly Spoony hates FFX, what are the chances of its review actually getting finished before the current Spoony bites it? I’m taking bets.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      post FFVIII? FFs IX X X-2 XII and XIII (haven’t played the other FFs)
      KH 1, 2, CoM, Re:CoM, 358/2 days, BBS
      Demon’s Souls

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=742655181 Kevin Bartelen

    You’d think Waka’s loud and sudden “Boom!” would be enough to send the guy into tears right there in front of everyone. I don’t think he’d have time to finish up with the “Like happy festival fireworks” part before getting his face beat by everyone who wasn’t sent into tears by this.

    • Anonymous

      I think the guy was probably trying to figure out if he seriously just heard Waka say “BOOM!” to him. ><

    • Anonymous

      I think the guy was probably trying to figure out if he seriously just heard Waka say “BOOM!” to him. ><

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=742655181 Kevin Bartelen

    You’d think Waka’s loud and sudden “Boom!” would be enough to send the guy into tears right there in front of everyone. I don’t think he’d have time to finish up with the “Like happy festival fireworks” part before getting his face beat by everyone who wasn’t sent into tears by this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=742655181 Kevin Bartelen

    Answers:
    1) The only one I know of that seemed any good is Eternal Sonata. I’d certainly like to know about more if there are any but the whole RPG genre seems to be making way for the ever-growing popularity of *groan* FPS.

    2) I’m thinking he’ll make it mid-way through XIII before his mind just snaps. That’s the one where it truly gets bad, at least the game-play itself is good, well mostly good, up to that.

  • Anonymous

    You need to direct a real movie Spoony!

  • Anonymous

    Well, to be fair, the sphere creature does give you Auron’s next overdrive attack, although how those two are related I have no idea. Also, I’d like to point out that while this game does spin its wheels a lot, Final Fantasy XII is much much much much much worse. Can’t wait to see that review.

    • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

      Actaully XIII, manages to keep the story moving, but the game is just linear…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000313954027 Sam Fagan

    dune song played btw is “Big Battle” in case anyone wanted to know.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mario-Babic/1642160632 Mario Babić

    Oh God, Vuvuzela’s and that commentator.

    Great job Spoony again anyway. Keep it coming.

  • Anonymous

    Let’s not get carried away here.

  • TheFeydakin

    Ahem. I’ll do the honors USUL HAS CALLED A BIG ONE!
    AGAIN IT IS THE PROPHECY!

  • http://twitter.com/VictuzPL Wiktor Jankowiak

    I just farted and woke up in the desert.

    Can somebody look for me on google maps? I’m lost…

  • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Matt DiPasquale

    Tell that to Gambit!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SS4RTDFVC4TP26WD5HTYHO6BVI Jack

    ….I’d go to jail for Rikku >.>

  • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Matt DiPasquale

    Spoony never rip on FFVII. Not cuz I like it or anything ( I find it very overrated IMO) but I fear that your life would be in danger from the angry fanboys. The die hearts can be a little crazy sometimes. After FFVIII I gave up on the games… then tried to rekindle my love with XIII *sigh* then played my cousins FFIV again to remember what the games were. I wish I could have played the old games as they came out =/ Oh well. Anyway keep ripping post VII ones apart! One day I hope you vlog XIII or review that game like VIII and X .If you rip apart VI ( though I got a feeling you like VI. I know you like IV you spoony bard) I’ll take it like a man and deal with it. I seem to agree with you most of the time anyway.

  • Anonymous

    not true. good games like halo reach are still able to do well.

  • Anonymous

    I think I figured out why so many FF fans hated FF12.

    It was subtle in its narrative and characterization, unique in its combat system (at least, unique in the sense that it was not turn-based/ATB), had excellent voice acting, and had more of a focus on gameplay with cinematics playing a smaller role. Almost the polar opposite of the “highly acclaimed” FFX.

    Enter fanboys. Commence shit-storm.

    FF12 was different, perhaps too different for your average FF fanboy to appreciate. An awfully strange concept when you consider that Final Fantasy used to be a series that ‘reinvented itself’ with each new installment.

    Then FF13 launches. Possibly the safest Final Fantasy to date. A return to the ATB system but this time, with AUTO PILOT. Not to mention the ridiculously unlikable characters, far worse than X. You want cutscenes? 13 is full of them. Want a convoluted storyline? 13 is probably the most convoluted and ridiculous to date. So much so that they need to make an encyclopedia of misc facts outside of the already numerous cutscenes for the sake of ‘moving the plot forward’… WHAT?

    The FF series has been dead to me well before X. While 12 is still a personal favorite of mine, knowing that the FF series will never make a bold move like that again, I’ll just consider it an unofficial sequel to Vagrant Story.

    Thanks for criticizing this stinker Spoonyone :)

  • Anonymous

    The reason most people disliked 12, myself included, was that it forgot to finish it off. It basically cut off at the end of act 2. It was missing an entire third act. The developers instead opted to pad the game out with useless extra bosses. While extras are all fine and dandy they can’t take away from the initial game itself, which is a problem that 12 has.

    It didn’t help that all of the character models had the same face. And that the main character was initially Basch, then changed to Vaan, who had nothing to add to the story. Ashe is really the main character, everything in the game revolves around her, her throne, and her ancestry. But the game keeps trying to make us believe that Vaan is the main character.

    While the battle system was decent it was designed for an MMORPG and didn’t fit in an offline game. 10 definately has one of the best RPG battle systems of all time. The music in 12 was good but didn’t fit. It was too muted for the gameplay.

    The plot in 10 is stupid at times, but overall it worked. But more than the plot itself was the atmosphere of the world, a near masterpiece because of the art direction and music. I’ve played both of these games through a couple times and 10 always gives me a sense of wonder, like we really are in another world. 12 is cool but it wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen before. And yes the voice acting in 10 is crap and awesome in 12, but at that point in time voice acting was still very new to video games.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      most people disliked 12? yeah. also most americans didnt vote for obama

  • Anonymous

    xD Wow. I never realized how fucked up the plot got from that point, even considering how iffy it was in the first place.

    but I have a solution to the desert thing.

    Sins’ fart was a teleporting wheel that sent them to the desert from LOST. All poorly written plot locations are moderately close to eachother, so of course it was only like 15 minutes from Bevelle.

    As for any logic or Pacing. Uhm… Yeah I got nothing.

    Yeah Wow. Wakka saying that thing about the fireworks. Wow.

    I seriously must have not been payign attention the first play through this game. xD

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      dumbass

  • Anonymous

    No 13 is absolutely linear. At least in 10 there is a point where you can travel around on the airship. Before that you can pilfer people’s belongings like in any good rpg and if you really want to you can walk back to previous areas. You can even take the boats back, from the ports in Luca and Kilika, before the airship.

  • Anonymous

    you are quite right, i once told a guy dressed as cloud to fuck off and FF7 is not legendary and i got a pussy hit from a plastic sword.
    now imagine a thousand plastic swords… spoony only has his one gunblade

  • Anonymous

    characters, plot points and whole stories by committee are the STUPIDEST thing anyone can do in a story. i have NEVER seen anything result from a creation process like that (ie: 12 marketing execs who’ve never even seen the product before deciding what would “sell” based on sales figures and polls apparently exclusively asked to idiots) stories are very personal things and as few people as possible (ideally one, but small groups have done some great work too as long as they are all on the same page) but a story written by a roomful of people who aren’t even paying attention to what each of the other people in the room are saying is just…well that’s how you get things like this. rambling aimless messes with plot holes so big Sin himself could actually sail right through them.

    you’re absolutely right, i never realized before. tidus is not a character, as much as he is a recepticle for everything the creators viewed as “cool” from previous anime heroes through the filter of a sugared up 12 yr old…he’s like some sort of hideous anime frankenstein in mismatched shorts…hell, i can’t believe i never saw this before, he’s such a bland amalgam of things that came before with no rhyme or reason, frankly i’m surprised you can’t see all the boris karloff stiches all over him from where he was assembled in a dimly lit lab late one night hahaha

  • Anonymous

    Now don’t let me give you the impression i’m trying to insult you by saying this, i swear i’m totally not. you have extremely well thought arguments (maybe some of the most so i have EVER seen defending the ff series) and god, i can’t tell you how awesome it is that you disagree with the review but are posting your disagreements like a rational adult and have not insulted anyone’s parents…I mean seriously good fucking job man…er…woman…i’m honestly not sure, but good job none the less

    but i think the argument about the taking the culture for granted thing falls flat for this reason: the culture is fictional, and in fact, not a very well thought out one. oh sure they natter on about it endlessly, trying to over explain every wierd little facet of their world, but really they tell us nothing. we don’t really understand who’s in charge and why, how the governments, countries or even really ethnic groups relate to one another. we know there are multiple races on the planet, but we don’t know how many, if they are sentient, do they have countries of their own? etc etc.

    while it’s true, a lot of people immediately dismiss other cultures in real life that results in complications and misunderstandings, it’s not really fair to accuse one of doing that to a fictional culture, in which there is not really that much to get in the first place. for example, i don’t even fully understand what the role of a measter is. seymour seems to rule the world for all intents and purposes, but i don’t think he’s royalty, i doubt he was elected, and i’m not even sure what he does in the role. he’s a summoner and a sorcerer, but we never really learn to what extent and how him being a summoner relates to yuna being a summuner and how they seem to do the job completely differently and …i’m sorry, i could go on, but you get my point. this world, while seeming very deep and fleshed out on the surface, from the sheer volume of spaghetti they throw at the wall, hoping it will stick, it really is pretty undeveloped. so it’s pretty natural not to understand something that was never really explained to us in the first place

    now i actually agree with you about the whole “regardless of the fact that seymour is OBVIOUSLY evil, people would still listen to him” thing. the entire world has been ruled by a massive variety of scum, all shapes and sizes, and a suprisingly large number of people haven’t complained, still all over the world to this day, this happens, so i am totally not surprised seymour could …stay in office? i guess…not sure what he does, but i could see him getting away with it

    and i also agree about being willing to sacrifice a LOT of innocent lives to save someone you really care about, hell, i’d probably do it if it was the right person. so that does make sense dramatically, i just think it was handled poorly in the actual story. it isn’t made clear enough and it just comes off as boneheaded selfishness on rikku’s part. this could have been a really dramatic revelation, but since it’s never explained, and told between a living breathing jailbait fanservice fapping aid and essentially a functioning retard pokemon trainer, we never really feel the emotional weight that shoukd come with a revelation like that. (actually i’m surprised no one has made the comparison between aeons/guardian forces/ summons and pokemon yet…think about it…it’s kinda creepy)

    and again, the sendind seymour thing, i can see your point about the mixed feelings and conflicted emotions about the heros not quite being sure how to go about it and if it’s the right thing or not, but again, it just was not explained at all and again, without any sort of clear explanation of why, it just seems like boneheaded laziness on yuna’s part

    i think that’s actually the whole reason i don’t buy your explanation of cultural differences motivating their strange decisions, becuase nothing is explained clearly enough to make you understand that’s why they are doing, why something is just the way you do it in this alien world. they treat it like it follows the same rules as our would does, so we treat the characters the same way we would if someone we knew did what they did. like what you said about the knight being a total spineless slave to the king’s orders being hard to understand outside of the medieval system, but at least we are given some form of frame of reference to the fact that “no matter how much you disagree with this decision, he has no choice or it will mean server consequenses for him, this is how it is done, this is how it is always done by everyone in this world” and we never really get anything like that in terms of life in spira. ya know what i mean? at the end of the day all we really know about the citizens of spira is that they have terribly fashion sense and are HUGE fans of this rediculous watersport. the real problem is that, we never see the other characters in the world sort of justify these boneheaded decisions by backing it up with their alien traditions that dictate why they do this. in fact, many times the other characters act like it’s just as dumb a thing to do as we the audience thought it was. it’s just very inconsistant. i totally see what you’re seeing, and how it could have worked in the hands of a more talented creative team, but as is, it’s just…flat. it all comes off as just senseless and wierd, with no real context. and besides, if the fictional culture of spira somehow raises people to think it’s ok to do some of the shit these characters do…then it must an odd place indeed haha

    anyway, i hope i didn’t come off as insulting, because it was not at all my intention. but since you took such time to thoughtfully explain your point, i wanted to try and do the same for the inverse. (not that others haven;’t already, i’m sure i’m just repeating other people below me anyway, prob. a good bet)

    and thank you again, for being so damn intelligent and courteous. the trolls could learn a thing or two from this sort of thing, eh? :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    I would also like to add I actually played and beat Final Fantasy XII.

    (SPOILERS for the plot of Final Fantasy XII)

    The Occuria control’s reins of history but Vanye and Dr.Cid want to use the crystal Nethicite to free themselves. The Occuria uses Ashe’s and Vaan quest for vengeance to manipulate them into do their bidding. Ashe’s wants to free her people and avenge her father’s death and Vaan lost his older brother Reks in the war years ago.They are both motive by revenge

    Ashe gets a lot more character development than Vaan. Baltheir’s character development comes from his past he was once a Judge he was appointed by his father Cid the same Dr.Cid who lost himself in his research about Nethicite and Occuria Baltheir wants to be rid of his past and create a future for himself . Basche also has a troubled past as well he was framed for the murder of King Raithwall Ashe’s father. But it was his twin brother Noah(who later becomes Gabranth) he sentence to death he wants to be redeemed for his sins.

    While Fran and Penlo get very little character development at all. Fran being a Viera(antro bunny women) he past stays a secret same goes for all female Vieras. While Penlo just tags along to keep a eye on Vaan because she loves him.

    Both Vaan and Penlo get a lot more character development in the Nintendo DS game “Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings”

    This game is all about the conflict between Archadia and Rozarrian we get to see a lot of Archadia empire but not much of the Rozarrian empire.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe. But that is strangely off topic. I didn’t say anything about Halo Reach. Why would I? The Halo series isn’t my thing but I’ll admit they are popular and pretty much the best in non-PC shooters. In fact I would go so far as to say the best in console shooters. I’m a PC gamer when it comes to shooters so I have higher expectations but I can’t complain about Halo much and Reach I can’t seem to come up with any complaints at all. That might mean it is very good. Or it could mean I just like it.

    But Halo aside. My point is this; In the future if things continue and we keep accepting mediocre titles without challenge soon enough all games, RPGs, Action/Adventure, Shooters, will end up like Hollywood movies. All flash and no bang. Product placement in all game. FF XX, characters equipped with shields with the Coke symbol on them and such. Games that are just a copy of the last, time and time again.

    We have the right to demand better games, better storytelling in those games, and WE control the market, Halo Reach aside.

  • Anonymous

    Yep, once you see it everything becomes so clear. FF X was made just at the beginning of when Video Games started to become art (although in my opinion that began with the NES). The Final Fantasy series, up until this point at least, was considered that which all other RPGs are measured against. Final Fantasy became “mainstream” because of the widely and wildly popular Final Fantasy VI. My favorite Final Fantasy. On top of that Final Fantasy VI brought RPGs in the mainstream as it sold so very, very well. Chrono Trigger was the result, which is my favorite RPG.

    So being Mainstream was good for RPGs… until a point. FF VII isn’t a bad game but I’m going to have to bash it a little bit so please fanboys I’m not your enemy (just hit me with the tranquilizer). FF VII was an experiment as much as a game. It was designed by Square’s new (as of then) marketing department. The old one being seen as retro. FF VII was created for many, many reasons and most of them were good. The one that I had problems with was this; FF VII was designed to bring in a larger audience. From snowboarding, to motorbikes, to skydiving, to submarines… It was designed by committee to bring in as many targets in the youth market as possible. To me that made the game feel like “Hurry up to the next Mini-game” rather than a narrative.

    Now that isn’t a bad idea in theory, Super Mario RPG was, in fact, just hurry up to the next mini-game all the way through and Super Mario RPG was awesome. Just saying, FF X and FF VII were created in the same fashion, a committee trying to insure new sales through a larger audience. Which is the best way for a company to make money, which is good. But it is also the quickest way to alienate your core fans.

    Sorry to use your post as a driving board for that Zack, it wasn’t directed at you but at the watches that might glance through the whole comments area.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    The only good RPG’s to come out lately have all been on computer. Actual consoles? You’re shit out of luck.

  • Anonymous

    I just wanted to point out, Spoony; it turns out Wakka isn’t the only one who realized the glorious force of devastation that is the Blitzball. Thank some ancient Machinae engineer for this wartime gem:

    http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Oblitzerator

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Hernandez/678862997 Joshua Hernandez

    Cards can at least be fitted with a sharp metal casing around them (these actually exist) so you can throw them with the sharpness of a knife and effectively have a shuriken. Volleyballs? Naw.

  • http://twitter.com/packsnow Dean Snow

    Great reviews but when Seymour proposes you missed the opportunity to use “Suddenly Seymour” at that time.

  • http://twitter.com/packsnow Dean Snow

    Great reviews but when Seymour proposes you missed the opportunity to use “Suddenly Seymour” at that time.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/SR554ASYPHW7XFNV3LE5DND3KA Wei JieSoh

    He has already done a vlog on FFXIII. Try checking the vlog section. I have heard from live streaming on LordKat’s website that if Spoony were to do a review of FFXIII, it would not be like what he has done for FFVIII or FFX. I suspect that he will post one 20-30 minute long video to cover FFXIII as there is so little to make fun about the game (in his own words).

    I really hope he reviews FFX-2 after wrapping up FFX. It really seems strange that he should post less videos on FFX than FFVIII even though he hates and wants to make fun FFX even more. In fact,I am left with the impression that FFVIII is worse than FFX in Spoony’s opinion notwithstanding his remonstrance against FFX despite he claiming that FFX was the point when the Final Fantasy series became intolerable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=793111843 Robert Phelps

    The main problem with the “church conspiracy” in FFX is that the entire religion of Yu Yevon is a completely transparent farce. For instance, if machina are forbidden, then why do they guard the gates of Bevelle (which is the capital city no less), and why do they roam around freely in the city’s Cloister of Trials? Like Spoony said earlier in his review, there is no subtlety in this game.

    Contrast this to Final Fantasy Tactics, where the corruption in the church was handled in a way that actually helped the storyline.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=793111843 Robert Phelps

    yeah, this game definitely took crappy minigames to a whole new level.

  • Anonymous

    “well, i got news for ya. People can hate something because sometimes it’s bad, sometime’s it makes no sense, and sometimes it just isn’t your speed, all of which are valid reasons and do not require me to “understand” some little piece a shit because someone else happens to like it. You wanna like it, fine, but don’t tell anyone they are stupid for not agreeing with you, and for the love of god, don’t tell people what they do or do not understand.”

    That’s funny, Spoony has already used the “you don’t get it” defense already. Are you aiming this little rant on Spoony as well?

  • Anonymous

    “X-Death’s funniest side is that he is basicly… a tree. But when he makes his appearance, it’s a rather epic scene. And throughout the game he has the whole “You are no match for me!” thing going on.. and he has all the right for it, untill the final fight of the game, they only managed to injure him. And one his minions has become a legend and a recurring character.”

    Your mileage may vary. By the way you described X-Death, you’ve also summed up why I think he’s meh. Stock villain.

  • Anonymous

    it’s a stupid response no matter who says it. even spoony. what? you think because i’m a fan i can’t acknowledge that it’s not fair for him to do it too?

    I resent the idea of idea of being told I “don’t get” something because i happen to disagree with someone who likes it. you can like something, or you can hate it. you can disagree with me about either point, and you can try to explain why i should come around to your point of view, or you can just think i’m an ass for being so disagreeable, but one thing you do not do, is decide what i do and do not understand, and insult my (and everyone else who doesn’t see it your way) intelligence and act as if some stupid game is some complex math problem of which the high concept is just ABOVE that of a mundane IQ such as mine. it’s ignorant. and it annoys me.

    Final Fantasy sucks balls, get over it fanboys. stop telling everyone else that they “don’t get” your masterpiece. your masterpiece about water polo, terrible clothes and the most boneheaded decisions imaginable. no, really you’re right…i just don’t get how a mincing, assymetrical pantsed hermaphrodite with frosted meg ryan tips has garnered so many people to defend him.

    I’m sorry, i am usually not this rude or confrontational, and for that i apologize. but seriously, stop telling me what i do and do not get. I “get” that i don’t like it. i tried it, i gave it a fair chance, and wasted a lot of hours of my life i won’t get back. I decided i didn’t like it, i didn’t need spoony’s permission to hate it…and as a matter of fact, i don’t need yours either

  • http://twitter.com/XtremeTravesty Trav Vanden Boogart

    The actual number of lightning strikes you need to dodge is 200 and with that you unlock the Sigil (i think) for Lulu’s ultimate Weapon. I have only done it once, and I know I have absolutely no life when it came to that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/StephanieMularz Stephanie Mularz

    Haha!
    Your aeons…
    I like their names they are similar to my own; Pukepale, Shitsock, and Jockitch~ (I hate those stupid aeons…)

    I’m just so happy to read this forum because for ONCE, people say that they liked Final Fantasy XII which was my favorite final fantasy game, it wasn’t gay and a melodramatic love story between an emo kid and a dumbass. (Final Fantasy VIII) It was a mature game which was relieving to see, it was better than this game by far.

    Even though this game wasn’t that bad, but the characters for me were just lackluster like Yuna, the girl who had the personality of a dial tone or just really really dumb and useless especially Rikku and Tidus.
    The gameplay was very good though, I will give it that…

  • Anonymous

    Might not wanna get on that list… it is a castration to do list, hence why Tidus is on it. No one needs that family breeding anymore.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kristopher-Tiplady/100001382888368 Kristopher Tiplady

    That is funny because lackluster is the exact word i would use to describe FF 12.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kristopher-Tiplady/100001382888368 Kristopher Tiplady

    we all would buddy

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kristopher-Tiplady/100001382888368 Kristopher Tiplady

    I agree about fps’s. They are all the same fucking game over and over. At least jrpgs had some verity. This is why i don’t own a current gen console.

  • Anonymous

    Probably been pointed out before, but the reason the dead need to be “sent” is because they turn into fiends, the monsters you fight literally all the time, if they’re left alone. But… come to think of it, I don’t think it ever IS explained why Seymour, Jiscal, etc. are unsent and still able to remain concsious and not, you know, a slavering, eyeless worm-thing with wings. Pretty major plothole there.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ESJSQFT7RRCOZRWUECFRKO57HQ RubaiyatA

    The Tales series are a good one. Vesperia especially.

  • Anonymous

    Every fiber of my being agrees with everything you just said. However…I don’t think gaming will *ever* really improve. The major problem is how the publishers advertise them. Take Deus Ex: Human Revolution for example. What if that game ends up sucking and utterly failing as a Deus Ex game? It won’t matter a single bit because Square Enix is in charge. Square knows how to sell games, even terrible ones.

    The same goes for pretty much all other publishers. Bungie, Activision, EA, Ubisoft..they all possess the ability to hype their games to the point where people will buy them out of sheer curiosity or from the “wow” factor contained within the trailers and commercials.

    People won’t just one day decide “We’ve been acting like tools for these companies all these years. Let’s start paying attention to what we buy from now on”. People, in general, want a quick fix, even if that “fix” is sodomy to gamers who actually *do* want more.

    So, to me, unless miracles are indeed possible and people aren’t as stupid as I believe they are, gaming is going to go nowhere but downhill. In fact, I believe it’s pretty much already dead. Titles like Final Fantasy XIII show what direction it’s going in. Instead of deep and compelling gameplay with plot and characters that truly make someone think, we’re going to have to either settle for semi-interactive films or just give up. I’ve chosen the latter.

  • Anonymous

    I feel dirty saying this but after rewatching the whole FFX rant series.. I started play FFX again v.v I can’t help it! There’s nothing good coming out anymore. I just need to remember to go.. like.. fix a sandwich or pee when I can’t mash X to skip dialog.

    P.S: 12 and 13 are still far, far worse than this one from a game play perspective. At least X doesn’t autopilot you through every fight >.>

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      12 and 13 were both better than 10 and 12 was even better than 6 (all FFs are still awesome)

      I hate it when people who can’t read 2 lines of text come and say some of the best games of all time are bad because an enemy attacked them while it was their “turn”

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Edward-Graham-Peeler-Jr/1602215514 Edward Graham Peeler Jr.

        No 12 and 13 suck.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

          i can see you didn’t play either. i believe your place in hell is that way –>

          stupid piece of shit

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

          i can see you didn’t play either. i believe your place in hell is that way –>

          stupid piece of shit

  • Anonymous

    I’ll admit, the battle system for FFX is likely one of the best ATB systems I’ve ever used. Far better than the flashy and useless system in FF13. But really though, there are so many moments in FFX where the story just hits a snag and drags on for what seems like forever. I did enjoy my first play though since everything was fresh but I haven’t been able to play through it again successfully any time after that.

    While I’ll definitely agree that FF12 has some autopilot with the gambit system, a good number of bosses required you to input commands outside of the system in order to win. Me personally, I didn’t mind having my party members automatically issue redundant commands like ‘attack’ and ‘cure’ during lesser fights while I focused on getting from point a to point b. At least the system was streamlined.

    FF13 has an annoying splash/screen wipe effect before every fight, an effect that was excusable in the PS1 and PS2 generation but extremely out of place now. The battles load fast enough, why not just zoom in on the action and fight right away? Even though there is an ‘auto-battle’ option, you still have to press X to activate it each time. Couple this with lesser fights and you manage to make a redundant fighting system even more redundant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Gilfillan/1681085004 Daniel Gilfillan

    Surprised that you’ve yet to mention how the characters nationality changes drastically from stylized white anglo saxon to stylized asian depending on whether or not they’re in a cut scene.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aj-White/1577259575 Aj White

    My theory to why seymour is not all monsterific is something along the lines of having a high level of for lack of a better word spirit power. That and some unfinished business because Auron is in the same boat as the others and not all demonified in the slightest. Just a thought I worked with when I ten at the time I played back in 2001 or whenever it came out in the 00s.

    They really dropped the ball in regards of storytelling like would not have been hard to explain for a quick moment hey they are ghost who have unfinished business or something to holdover, but they failed hard, and continued to fail hard in ff12 storywise.

  • Anonymous

    So much love for the vuvuzela intro, man.

  • Anonymous

    You know that plot with Tidus and the gang under Maclania Temple…Yeah they fell on top of sin. Its because sin was listening to the god awful religious song of his past time. Anyways you land on sin and he notices you and since he’s fucking sin he does whatever he wants sends you off to the arabic desert to progress with the plot. Just to help you with that confusing scene. But i hardly think that would help explain the bullshit that is probably going on in this game.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      its better than metallica or linkin park or pretty much anything with lyrics

      • Anonymous

        Listen man i can tell your huge fan of Final Fantasy, but going around an posting on all the negative things people say is pretttty pathetic. What the fuck are you an attention whore…Holy Shit!! I mean i looked at some of the comments you posted and there just dumber than a brick..as a matter of fact go smash yourself with that bring. Please continue to smash your head with that brick its making your life and everyone around you feel better. Man what dumb piece of shit!

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

          i would reply to this but you humiliated yourself sufficiently

          • Anonymous

            you just replied you dumbass. Fucking retard

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      its better than metallica or linkin park or pretty much anything with lyrics

  • Guest

    Just to recap on that whole scene under Maclania..whatever temple in the Himalayan Mountains. The fell on top of SIN..yeah he was listening to his favorite band play under the temple because, rather than destroy whole villages he would sometimes spend his time listening to his favorite Christian rock band play. So anyways your on top of SIN and he sneezes on you and suddenly you get transported into never-land…no i mean the Arabic desert to get raped by huge giant Jurassic park creatures. Just to fill you in on that little plot even though the whole story is enough to make you not care.

  • Anonymous

    “Final Fantasy sucks balls, get over it fanboys.”

    You seem to misunderstand the concept of fact and opinion, so I’m taking your response with a grain of salt. Learn how to be objective.

    • Anonymous

      you know, you’re right. it is an opinion and i don’t have any more right than anyone else to tell you want to think, which pretty much makes me a hypocrite…and a troll. and for that i apologize. I’m usually not that rude and try not to pick fights, but i guess i was having a lousy day and that “you don’t get it” thing really does chap my ass. it really bothers me for some reason. but all that’s not an excuse to be a dick, so again, i’m sorry.

      also, i just sort of assumed you were the person i was originally replying to with the who “don’t get” comment in the first place, but i only realize now that it was somebody totally different, so…yeah my bad. i also prob. wouldn’t have replied as dickishly if i had realized that

      so in short, i apologize for being a jackwagon. I stand by my points, but i shouldn’t have been as asshat about it. so…hand shake? :)

  • Anonymous

    on the other hand vaan does have cool moments and penelo isn’t useless either (she probably influenced Larsa in a way that made him more adult. It forced him to realize his bro wasn’t perfect.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

      that is true Penlo did change larsa’s mind.

      So final fantasy XII characters do have character development and backstory. But its too much or too little it gives you enough to know the character.

    • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

      that is true Penlo did change larsa’s mind.

      So final fantasy XII characters do have character development and backstory. But its too much or too little it gives you enough to know the character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Burling/100000173048141 Robert Burling

    Eh, It’s more like those who are not evil in life take so long to become fiends that they have changed into something they were not already, whereas those who are incredibly evil do not have to change as much… Or there has to be some sense of their original purpose for them to manifest in their original form. Seymore and the likes were evil in life, so death needed not to pervert them any before they came back as fiends. Sadly, I only recently realized that as a fan I put deeper thought into this shit when I was playing the games than the designers did when they were making them.

    As for the chronology of the Guado invasion of Home(what an original name that is. lol) My thoughts as it was happening was they were stuck under the glacier for a while, and Sin did not teleport them instantly(Think of the biblical story of Jonah and the Leviathan from which this scene was plagiarized… if the viewer saw this and borrowed more from it, 3 days sounds about right.). Furthermore prior dialogue involving the rumors of summoners disappearing and other dialogue alluding to large portions of the town guard of Guadosalam being unaccounted for implied that the Guado already had the Al Bhed city in their sights before Yuna’s abduction(Which would also explain why they were able to get Yuna before the main brunt of the siege was underway and why she was not among the other summoners.) As for the Wedding, the plans were underway before the siege started, perhaps before Seymore ever proposed. While it’s outlandish to imagine these events happening in sequence, I had, from the get-go, imagined these events occurring nearly simultaneously, at the hands of the powers moving the chess pieces… Playing through previous Final Fantasy games(back when the narratives were actually interesting) had taught me to think like this.

    Again, this is the result of me having put more thought into it than the designers actually did… But the only reason I’m bringing this up is, I actually had these thoughts while playing rather than having to post-rationalize them to counter “WTF-that’s-f@#%ing-imposible” type arguments…(something else I’m guilty of doing in order to fill in a narrative plot hole)

    What has just now occurred to me, is Final Fantasy games seemed deep to people who like to fill in plot holes with their own ideas, which allowed people from a diverse set of literary, philosophical, and/or religious backgrounds to enjoy how much the makers of the game seemed to know them. In other words the plot of every Final Fantasy game is part Mad-Lib.

  • Anonymous

    I gave up a while ago… I haven’t bought a console game since FF XIII, which I bought for the sole reason of making my opinion valid. I knew it was going to be bad and I bought it from Japan because I wanted to play it before the American voice acting happened. Really though the American voice acting was just about as good as the Japanese in FF XIII… they both had to suffer with the lines.

    I know it won’t be an overnight thing but like I said. We are all to blame for how games are, not the massive companies that design all games by committee and assume we’ll like it.

    Might as well join me in the “I spent thousands of dollars on all these console and they aren’t even plugged in anymore” club… *sighs and cries a little*

  • http://twitter.com/Limeybakura Luke Marks

    when people die in spira if they dont get sent by a summoner they walk the earth tormented until they become a fiend, that is what would happen to Seymour…..and Mika…….and Auron…………so many dead people >.>

    Even if u dont car spoony ;)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Burling/100000173048141 Robert Burling

      Yeah, someone Requested this in the comments of a previous part, but maybe there should be a, “People who have been dead all along Count”

  • http://twitter.com/Limeybakura Luke Marks

    when people die in spira if they dont get sent by a summoner they walk the earth tormented until they become a fiend, that is what would happen to Seymour…..and Mika…….and Auron…………so many dead people >.>

    Even if u dont car spoony ;)

  • Anonymous

    Loving this one, Spoony!

    Could anyone tell me the name of the epic orchestral track playing when they’re fighting the sand worm at 16:50?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    By the way Spoony, in the comic the Runaways, one of the main characters misquotes Star Trek II by saying “The SINS of many outweigh the SINS of a few” just so he can justify the fact that his parents are murderers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/whatnopie William Steven Reid

    I hope Squall somehow cameos XD
    if no-ones already said that…

  • http://twitter.com/xxDrCrackbone Matt

    You know, in a weird indirect way, this video’s rekindled my interest in Star Wars. I want to see Return of the Jedi so badly now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/marius.klokkernes Marius Klokkernes

    You know, if you want Yuna as the protagonist, play FFX-2 ;)
    At least things make more sense… no?

  • http://www.facebook.com/marius.klokkernes Marius Klokkernes

    You know, if you want Yuna as the protagonist, play FFX-2 ;)
    At least things make more sense… no?

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/4QYYMGWYRGJV4YQKWX6C4ASJCI anty

    awesome ending… i find this ending intriguing :) … but i have to say spoony is one messed up puppy , he apparently has triple spit personality :) ,spoony, MC. Insane and dark lantern spoony :)

  • Anonymous

    Hey Spoony, you ever heard of Jedward from Ireland? They’re some crappy duo who entered X Factor in the UK last year. Well THEY’RE real life Wakkas!!! Just google them and you’ll see what I mean :P

    • http://twitter.com/JackKonEl J.P. Tull

      “We wanted to be Ghostbusters but we weren’t brave enough!” Priceless.

    • http://twitter.com/JackKonEl J.P. Tull

      “We wanted to be Ghostbusters but we weren’t brave enough!” Priceless.

  • Anonymous

    Hey Spoony, you ever heard of Jedward from Ireland? They’re some crappy duo who entered X Factor in the UK last year. Well THEY’RE real life Wakkas!!! Just google them and you’ll see what I mean :P

  • http://twitter.com/mhooie Martin Hooie

    Nice ending in the farplane, spoony

    Has anyone ever mentioned that you’re wearing your lantern ring on the wrong finger? Lanterns (of all colors) wear their rings on the right middle finger not the ring finger (weird I know) nothing major but it’s something I noticed and it kind of bugged me a bit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Edward-Graham-Peeler-Jr/1602215514 Edward Graham Peeler Jr.

      NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      LOL I’m kidding. DC rocks!!

  • http://twitter.com/mhooie Martin Hooie

    Nice ending in the farplane, spoony

    Has anyone ever mentioned that you’re wearing your lantern ring on the wrong finger? Lanterns (of all colors) wear their rings on the right middle finger not the ring finger (weird I know) nothing major but it’s something I noticed and it kind of bugged me a bit.

  • Anonymous

    Wuwuzelas need to die in a napalm fire.

  • Anonymous

    This may just be my love of FF9 talking, but Final Fantasy’s inability to tell who the main character is, starting from 10 onward, strikes me as the character arcs from 9 done wrong. In 9, Zidane didn’t have much if any character growth or seeming relevance to the party’s main objectives until the big reveal at the end. He didn’t need to find his place in the world or learn how to love or anything like that because he had already grown in to a stable, well rounded individual. His role was more of that of the mentoring messiah, helping to keep the party organized and moving forward while passing on the life lessons he had already learned. The big personal investment he had in the whole conflict was that the other party members were his friends and that they each had a stake in what happened. At least, until the big reveal where all of the subtle hints about his past came to a head and he turned out to be the most important of the protagonists. Sorta like the protagonist from Persona 4. The result was a strong cast of both major and supporting characters surrounding a likable main protagonist. The problem is that unless you have a great script and cast, you get a pointless, designated protagonist. In their attempts to make Tidus in to the world changer he was meant to be, they made him not only unbearable, but also shoehorned in. Or I could just be over thinking this. Farewell folks. ‘Til we meet again.

    • Anonymous

      What I really loved about Final Fantasy 6 was that the main protagonist there was not a single character, but the entire group. Of course with a cast that large some characters were less developed and stood in the second row, but storyline often stresses how all of the main characters have reasons to fight for the same goal and it is a point made even stronger by the finale where every (or almost every) character participates in the boss battle.

      • Anonymous

        One of the best ways they drive this home in FFVI is by frequently relieving you of Terra. She’s the first character you play as, and the game initially revolves around unlocking her secrets. Then Terra flies off and suddenly you’re playing as Celes/Locke. You get Terra back, but Celes is gone. And it just bounces around from there until the End of the World, which starts off with Celes.

        Once you get your airship back, there effectively is no main character. Everyone just agrees to go kick Kefka’s ass together. Everyone gets at least one little sidequest to work out their issues, and everyone even gets at least one line to say at Kefka.

    • Anonymous

      What I really loved about Final Fantasy 6 was that the main protagonist there was not a single character, but the entire group. Of course with a cast that large some characters were less developed and stood in the second row, but storyline often stresses how all of the main characters have reasons to fight for the same goal and it is a point made even stronger by the finale where every (or almost every) character participates in the boss battle.

    • Anonymous

      What I really loved about Final Fantasy 6 was that the main protagonist there was not a single character, but the entire group. Of course with a cast that large some characters were less developed and stood in the second row, but storyline often stresses how all of the main characters have reasons to fight for the same goal and it is a point made even stronger by the finale where every (or almost every) character participates in the boss battle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Starkid-Mendoza/619892961 Andrew Starkid Mendoza

    I know that the storyline sucks, but the epic music during Tidus’ feminine whining is a freaking awesome variation of “To Zanarkand.”

    Oh. And Cid sounds like Soldier from TF2.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Starkid-Mendoza/619892961 Andrew Starkid Mendoza

    I know that the storyline sucks, but the epic music during Tidus’ feminine whining is a freaking awesome variation of “To Zanarkand.”

    Oh. And Cid sounds like Soldier from TF2.

  • Anonymous

    Can I have your children? :)

  • Anonymous

    Can I have your children? :)

  • Anonymous

    Can I have your children? :)

  • Anonymous

    The Farplane? Don’t you mean the FAR GATE!? Or even Farscape? Come to me Gigi Edgly you albino honey. Least she’s legal unlike a lot of FF girls.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ogresamanosuke Cameron Hamilton

    On a sidenote related to the mention of how pointless Vaan was in 12, you’re dead on. Balthier was originally intended to be the main character, Japan had a hissy fit that he wasn’t a completely androgynous jackass showing a ton of skin, so Vaan was created. Penelo’s role was changed from Balthier’s fangirl to Vaan’s childhood friend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ogresamanosuke Cameron Hamilton

    On a sidenote related to the mention of how pointless Vaan was in 12, you’re dead on. Balthier was originally intended to be the main character, Japan had a hissy fit that he wasn’t a completely androgynous jackass showing a ton of skin, so Vaan was created. Penelo’s role was changed from Balthier’s fangirl to Vaan’s childhood friend.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Aeonis Emma Engfors

      Um.. Wasn’t the lead character supposed to be Basch? Not Balthier, which doesn’t make sense either because it should be Balthier ;D That wasn’t really a question, I’m sure that Basch was supposed to be the lead, but they changed it.

  • Anonymous

    For some reason that “STFU!” at 3:30 always makes me laugh.

  • Anonymous

    For some reason that “STFU!” at 3:30 always makes me laugh.

  • Anonymous

    game informer “top ten games within games” issue 210, page 39
    number 2: blitzball…
    number 9: triple triad
    … fuck.

  • http://twitter.com/FleacyTheSheep Desiree X

    Spoony you ignorant slut! LMAO I lost my shit there :p

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GI7OZMTGLSMTWMDZKPTV2FY2YU Drain

    Please continue reviewing this. You are very funny and 3 videos doesn’t begin to justify this piece of shit. FF8 got like 10 out of you. Put Highlander on hold and finish FF10!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      calling this game a piece of shit is like saying you don’t deserve a slow death. This game is one of the best of all time and 95% of the people who played it agree. You are extremely stupid for stating your awful opinion as fact and should go die. I would say imo but it’s not a matter of opinion. go die. now.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      calling this game a piece of shit is like saying you don’t deserve a slow death. This game is one of the best of all time and 95% of the people who played it agree. You are extremely stupid for stating your awful opinion as fact and should go die. I would say imo but it’s not a matter of opinion. go die. now.

  • Anonymous

    hey in that boss battle with Seymour if u have a character steal from his guardians they lose the ability to use Auto-potion…dont ask me how

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      I’d guess stealing the potions might have something to do with it

      use that pink thing in your head imo

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      I’d guess stealing the potions might have something to do with it

      use that pink thing in your head imo

  • Anonymous

    hey in that boss battle with Seymour if u have a character steal from his guardians they lose the ability to use Auto-potion…dont ask me how

  • http://twitter.com/carishtoteles Chris Lested

    so when will part 4 be up?

    bashing FFX is at least as fun as bashing the new star wars prequels! :P

  • http://twitter.com/carishtoteles Chris Lested

    so when will part 4 be up?

    bashing FFX is at least as fun as bashing the new star wars prequels! :P

  • Anonymous

    SOOONY! I HAVE DISCOVERED A HORRIBLE TRUTH……. TIDUS AND RATCHET FROM RATCHET AND CLANK HAVE THE SAME VOICE ACTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Contreras/1219435856 Ian Contreras

    I love FFX, and waiting for your review of Final Fantasy X Part 4 is like waiting for the release of the next Final Fantasy title.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Contreras/1219435856 Ian Contreras

    I love FFX, and waiting for your review of Final Fantasy X Part 4 is like waiting for the release of the next Final Fantasy title.

  • http://twitter.com/flizbap david garreau

    Vuvuzela’s are the root of all evil.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus

    Was there a romance between Ashe and Bal? Also, no one even implied that Vaan was the protagonist in the game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Discordius-Erisianus/100000352364153 Discordius Erisianus

    Was there a romance between Ashe and Bal? Also, no one even implied that Vaan was the protagonist in the game.

    • Anonymous

      You mean, besides the fact that you play as Vaan for the duration of the game?

      It may be a fine literary technique to tell a story form the perspective of one of the protagonist’s flunkies, but this is *not* good for a videogame. In a videogame, you want to play as the person who’s actually doing stuff.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        Vaan was the protagonist, not the main character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DoKChris Christian Buckley

    y’know these actually made me start playin ff10 and even though i think these jokes were funny cause they were out of context, they are still hilarious. dude keep it up. (even though i actually kinda like the game) meh i have played worse.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      I’m considering picking up FFVIII because his videos made it look really good imo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DoKChris Christian Buckley

    y’know these actually made me start playin ff10 and even though i think these jokes were funny cause they were out of context, they are still hilarious. dude keep it up. (even though i actually kinda like the game) meh i have played worse.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joanna-Pleiades-Lidke/100001227075236 Joanna ‘Pleiades’ Lidke

    Spoony… I must confess something… I think I fell in love with you <3 Alas, I'm a married woman… :(
    Oh, well, I have to play FFX once again to laugh even more at this game :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joanna-Pleiades-Lidke/100001227075236 Joanna ‘Pleiades’ Lidke

    Spoony… I must confess something… I think I fell in love with you <3 Alas, I'm a married woman… :(
    Oh, well, I have to play FFX once again to laugh even more at this game :D

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JLXQ5556BVPEJIF5IFZ6VV5F5Q Lily

    XD maybe yuna was waiting till she had enough strength to send him considering the fact that she is pretty weak and gets kidnapped alot

    • Anonymous

      why can’t you just admit that it makes no scene… i can see this game’s many plot gaps as well. it is sad hen people try to come out with such explanation to them.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        because it does? thinking with a brain like yours does not equal profit

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Lepper/100001267062449 John Lepper

    just fyi: evidently you can’t tell a good video game if it came up and molested you with it’s awesomeness. please do yourself a favor and stop playing video games now.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Garrett/100001250987310 Stephen Garrett

      Ah, the blathering of idiot fanboys who can’t stand seeing their sacred cows slaughtered….

      • http://www.dream-scar.net hchano

        @Stephen:
        Tbh, I thought it was ironic Spoony hated this game and somehow
        still liked FF7. So don’t use the idiot fanboy excuse, Spoony himself
        is obviously victim of it lol.

        @John:
        While I want to agree with you, esp after the whole FF9 thing [furries?
        really?], if you can’t find any humour in these reviews, do yourself a favour
        and stay away from site’s like this lol. I enjoyed this game, but I find these
        videos hilarious. :P

      • http://www.dream-scar.net hchano

        @Stephen:
        Tbh, I thought it was ironic Spoony hated this game and somehow
        still liked FF7. So don’t use the idiot fanboy excuse, Spoony himself
        is obviously victim of it lol.

        @John:
        While I want to agree with you, esp after the whole FF9 thing [furries?
        really?], if you can’t find any humour in these reviews, do yourself a favour
        and stay away from site’s like this lol. I enjoyed this game, but I find these
        videos hilarious. :P

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        great job being clueless

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        great job being clueless

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      you evidently can’t tell when someone’s making fun of parts of a game or a whole game. learn to pay attention you idiot

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Lepper/100001267062449 John Lepper

    just fyi: evidently you can’t tell a good video game if it came up and molested you with it’s awesomeness. please do yourself a favor and stop playing video games now.

  • http://www.dream-scar.net hchano

    In other news… WTB next part :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joris-Wildenbeest/1264275579 Joris Wildenbeest

    Anyone ever notice how Seymour sounds like a whimpy Steven Seagal?

  • Anonymous

    Yuna and Tidus are probably the lamest thing that could have happened to this (or any, for that matter) game.
    I do agree Auron is the only interesting guy there. I mean story about the journey of Braska and his gang seems a lot of cooler and more interesting.
    I like the system in the game and as much as i try.. i can’t bare the crappy romance theme. The villain in this game is so lame it makes you want to just laugh him out and go pass him like nothing happens…
    (btw you can just use steel on Seymour’s guado guards.. and they are suddenly out of ALL their potions – stupid, yet convenient)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      hehe, youre stupid

  • http://twitter.com/kuroitenshi kuroitenshi

    FINISH IT!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I hate how people actually love this game for some reason :P

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      so many stupid people here. spoony i love you but like i said some of the fans..

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      so many stupid people here. spoony i love you but like i said some of the fans..

    • http://twitter.com/Komapsunida Lydia Croft

      XD I like it in the same way I like Hollyoaks, because its ridiculous and cheap entertainment :3

  • Anonymous

    Hurry up and post the 4th! xD

    The ironic thing is I LOVED FF7, 8, 9, 10, 10-2, and 12, but it’s still easy to watch your videos about this. :) Why? Because I can relate on some parts. (Blitzball and Trading card game via FF8)

    I’m just a bit more open-minded about the way things move around in this game. .___. IE Macalania to the Desert.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XWCVTK4YIO76ITKEBQ5XB5A4WU Kerry

    At 6:39: Yeah and you know what I call that joke? OLD!! Also, why is the main Count gag so inclusive? Number’s 18-21 shouldn’t count! That’s like pointing out someone’s butt in a wedding dress or hiding behind a curtain! What’s so important about Auron anyway? He leads the characters into a trap, does practically nothing when shown on-screen and he looks lame: there’s no reason why you should be defending such a pointless character! Hell, you haven’t even made any jokes or comments about Kimari! Please tell me you’re going to sleep on Part 4′s script for a year or two, Spoony; you used to be so funny.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GFGQX2Z2TJ4CEGYT6DJZ7WU6IQ Joey Perkins

      u mad bro?

    • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

      The main reason for the butt count was to point out how often Square seems to pick a camera position that is specifically chosen to show someone’s butt where they could have gotten the exact same effect across had they chosen to render the scene from over the character’s shoulder or even just their back.

      Not to say it’s a completely bad thing, but I do feel a bit weird about how they chose both the in-game and FMV introductions of Rikku (whom, as pointed out by many people before me is 15) seem to focus solely on her butt.

      That’s just me having grown up in a part of the world where the age of consent is 18 and not 13 as it is in Japan.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XWCVTK4YIO76ITKEBQ5XB5A4WU Kerry

    At 6:39: Yeah and you know what I call that joke? OLD!! Also, why is the main Count gag so inclusive? Number’s 18-21 shouldn’t count! That’s like pointing out someone’s butt in a wedding dress or hiding behind a curtain! What’s so important about Auron anyway? He leads the characters into a trap, does practically nothing when shown on-screen and he looks lame: there’s no reason why you should be defending such a pointless character! Hell, you haven’t even made any jokes or comments about Kimari! Please tell me you’re going to sleep on Part 4′s script for a year or two, Spoony; you used to be so funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

    I don’t think you’re meant to take his reviews seriously. I watch it for the lulz mostly. I mean, even I noticed the amount of ass counts in the game, though it’ll be fun to see the final number. He probably doesn’t remember the technological limitations present back in the ps2 days, and this was an early game too. Plotwise, did he just say Tidus time traveled at the beginning of part 3? That in itself should speak volumes. And his rant on how Tidus isn’t the protagonist is laughable. Not that I’m saying Yuna isn’t important, but for the love of god, can’t there be more than 1 protagonist? You can’t even compare Tidus to Vaan. He also seems to hate the breaks in plot, which means he should love FFXIII, which carries the plot on and on for the first half of the game, without any form of disruption. Yet we know how many people criticized that game, for exactly that point too. Mostly though, he lacks the ability to immerse himself in games. He can’t even see where the Al Bhed were coming from during that Home scene. He tends to take what he perceives as negatives, and accentuate them. But hey, it’s all for the attention of the internet. Do you think people would know of him if he was neutral and gave games evenly balanced reviews? He’d just be another youtube reviewer. It’s a tactic to garner popularity.

    But give him some credit, he can be funny. I saw the ffviii review and laughed along too. And let’s face it, when he pointed out WAkka’s comment after leveling Home, it was just so funny. His comment about the waterpolo park was hilarious too. Don’t watch it if it annoys you, but I still find it fun. I mean, it’s also fun seeing him try so hard to criticize the game too.

    I wish he would do a review of Drakengaard though. That would probably be a wicked review.

    -an intelligent poster on GameFAQs(i know paradox)

    consider this before saying stupid shit, posters

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1664587720 George Marchant

      No, he really does hate it. Watch the first part again.
      He says he hates it.
      Alot.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        If he outright said he loves the game and then went on to bash it it would not be anywhere near as funny. Not to mention if he actually hated it he would come across as an idiotic douche, which he’s not and he would also halve his fanbase.

        • http://www.facebook.com/mtarantella Michael Tarantella

          I’ve read about 5 or 6 of your comments now, and I have to say, you’re one of the biggest sources of misinformation I’ve seen on this site. Spoony “likes” final fantasy X? he made final fantasy VIII look ‘good’ in his reviews? Vaan was the protagonist but not the main… AGH! Do you get off on purposely giving people the wrong ideas about things that are blatantly obvious to those who pay attention and have access to dictionary.com? Look, if you want to have your own opinions about this video, fine, post them in your own comment. But don’t go replying to and correcting other people’s posts as if your theory is the only right one. Not only is it disrespectful to those brave enough to give their opinion about the video, but considering how completely off base you are, it’s actually dangerous to those naive enough to actually think you’re right. Your posts are literally lowering the IQ of the internet. You have no factual basis for any of the claims you made, which makes sense if you think about it because nothing you’ve said so far is true. Spoony has made it common knowledge in both his review of VIII and X that he honestly believes that the 10th installment of the final fantasy series is where they started to go down hill. If you did even so much as a freaking google search, you’d know that there is little to no distinction between a main protagonist and a main character, especially in regards to FFXII, where the heroes are given the focus, not the villains. (No Macbeth counter argument for you) And I don’t even know where to start with your claim that a NEGATIVE review of a game could possibly make it look appealing. I’ve heard people disagree with a negative review, but this is the first I’ve heard of getting positive opinions about a product directly ‘from’ said negative review.

          In short, you sir, are incorrect in nearly every aspect of your posts, and you need to stop trying to convince people otherwise.

          • Jessica Kent

            I should have watched until this video before I blew my top at Panda Mann…  You basically explained most of what I did in much fewer words.  Thank you for you educated and intelligent reply. 

            I’m always pleased to find someone who understand intelligent discourse.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        If he outright said he loves the game and then went on to bash it it would not be anywhere near as funny. Not to mention if he actually hated it he would come across as an idiotic douche, which he’s not and he would also halve his fanbase.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=822208694 Christian Folk

      trololol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Contreras/1219435856 Ian Contreras

    Like serious. Fuck Highlander, and post the shit out of this game already! You can’t pull the plug halfway through. What kind of review is this?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sharkman-Jhones/100000952376546 Sharkman Jhones

    I really hate pointing this out, but it’s a detail I only *barely* remembered. Apparently, Yuna and Rikku are cousins. Rikku attacking them and kidnapping Yuna was (I think) about trying to stop *Yuna’s* pilgrimage, not all of the others. It’s still selfish and kinda ridiculous when you consider that she tried killing Yuna’s friends to do so, but still. At the same time, I didn’t remember this detail until my brother pointed it out to me, so it was probably only glossed over.

  • http://twitter.com/ultimochefe André

    You should play crystal bearers on the Wii. Best FF plot ever with a badass protagonist who is ALWAYS kicking asses (actually, EVERY character is this is badass).

  • Anonymous

    I love all the FF games. Even so though I thought good points where made and pretty funny. I got good giggles out of this and I’m looking forward to seeing if 4 ever comes. Thanks.

  • Anonymous

    When will there be part 4?

  • Anonymous

    When will there be part 4?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Slothsoul Johnny Guzman

    I wonder what your reaction would be if I told you it was actually 201 times you had to dodge the lightning, not 100. …And that I did it XD

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jd-Makaro/1295349725 Jd Makaro

    <– DORK

    I lol'd.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jd-Makaro/1295349725 Jd Makaro

    <– DORK

    I lol'd.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mtarantella Michael Tarantella

    this review was great : ) Can’t wait for part 4

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://www.youtube.com/kidmagnum Andy Torres

    ….Fuck it, I love this game. It’s better than the overrated shit stain that was 7 at least. Nothing will beat FF4 though, personally. And the revelation scene…I dunno, it really moved me. The voice of Tidus was spot on and while t was whiny you still felt the emotion. Never once did it feel like it was phoned in…now Yuna’s voice actress…that’s another story lol. Oh, and the laughing scene was stupid but classic. I mean, come on, if Cloud, the whinest douche of them all can get away with CROSSDRESSING than i’m sure we can all go beyond Tidus’ infamous laugh scene………right?

    ……………Eh, it was pretty bad. Good review though Noah, I always do like how you do express your opinions and at least make light of everything. You never take yourself to seriously, THANK GOD.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFJDU6YDAZYKTSTUMW5K7ULSI4 C.

    Holy shit, that was an awesome ending. Black Lanterns in Heironymus Bosch’s Hell while the Emperor’s theme plays — FFX should have been that cool.
    You probably hear this quite a bit, but the amount of creative effort you put into these videos, and to put it out there for all of us to watch free of charge — well. Thank you.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFJDU6YDAZYKTSTUMW5K7ULSI4 C.

    Holy shit, that was an awesome ending. Black Lanterns in Heironymus Bosch’s Hell while the Emperor’s theme plays — FFX should have been that cool.
    You probably hear this quite a bit, but the amount of creative effort you put into these videos, and to put it out there for all of us to watch free of charge — well. Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bennett-LaRue/100000392184293 Bennett LaRue

    Holy shit, Spoony has a Videodrome poster!

    …Why?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bennett-LaRue/100000392184293 Bennett LaRue

    Holy shit, Spoony has a Videodrome poster!

    …Why?

  • http://twitter.com/Prose_Shrapnel Ben Cataldo

    This review has its good points, I mean.. how else to highlight how annoying Tidus is by having an equally annoying reviewer! I understand now..
    But seriously, there are good ideas here until you start talking about the Timing from Al Bhed desert onwards. Just because the events are narrated second by second that’s no reason to assume they happened like that. The attack on ‘Home’ could have taken several days, it could have been hours and hours until the characters woke up in the desert, they’d been exposed to toxins after all. People make this mistake about timing all the time

    • Anonymous

      Doesn’t change the fact that this game is ridiculously bad

      • Anonymous

        Hardly a fact.

  • http://twitter.com/Prose_Shrapnel Ben Cataldo

    This review has its good points, I mean.. how else to highlight how annoying Tidus is by having an equally annoying reviewer! I understand now..
    But seriously, there are good ideas here until you start talking about the Timing from Al Bhed desert onwards. Just because the events are narrated second by second that’s no reason to assume they happened like that. The attack on ‘Home’ could have taken several days, it could have been hours and hours until the characters woke up in the desert, they’d been exposed to toxins after all. People make this mistake about timing all the time

  • http://twitter.com/tman7776 Tyler Gholson

    I’m getting this game tomorrow

    maybe

    • Anonymous

      didn’t you watched the review? how about spending money on a good game instead?

      • http://www.facebook.com/thewhitebuddha Katie Carbrey

        Exactly, FFX is a good game.  I still enjoy this review since I’m a fan of Final Fantasy and Spoony.  And he’s hilarious at what he does.  But he really doesn’t point out any of the amazing things about this game.  Though he does touch on some things in the first part of the review like the kick ass battle system.

    • Anonymous

      didn’t you watched the review? how about spending money on a good game instead?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LQQIIQ32RRQ4WHVDYVL7OE7V3M Imran g

    thank you so much, i thought i was the only one who thought this game was crap, wakko kept saying “ya “, i thought i was watching fargo , bunch of canadians (no offense)
    awesome review, played like 1 hr in and got so pissed off at how garbage this game was, hilarious videos
    again i agree what a shit head game, and tidus’s voice gets me too furious to play, no story line at all dead game

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-Wrightson/100000409923994 Jeffrey Wrightson

    It’s kind of funny. I used to really be into this game when it first came out and I was like 13. I liked the graphics, score, combat system, and I somehow was able to look past the glaringly hilarious aesthetic and paper-thin plot. My God it looks quite silly now!

    Oh, and Fargo is located on the border of North Dakota and Minnesota, not Canada (no offense)…(oh SNAP!!!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    ok I can’t ignore this any further. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH ALL OF THE STUPID LOW ANGLE SHOTS? It isn’t dramatic, it doesn’t add to the stupidity of Rikku’s quite honestly selfish plan. Another thing: why hasn’t anyone bitch slapped Rikku for being so bleeping inconsiderate thinking only of the few instead of THE ENTIRE WORLD! GAAAAAH!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5EUJFRSIDHOWT3CS2CJOI2TQWE Brandon

      or in other words,”the needs of the many outweigh,the needs of the few,or the one.”

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5EUJFRSIDHOWT3CS2CJOI2TQWE Brandon

      or in other words,”the needs of the many outweigh,the needs of the few,or the one.”

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5EUJFRSIDHOWT3CS2CJOI2TQWE Brandon

      or in other words,”the needs of the many outweigh,the needs of the few,or the one.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Praise be to Cyric I didn’t ever play this game. Ed Greenwood leaves better fantasy material in tightly coiled piles in his toilet.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Praise be to Cyric I didn’t ever play this game. Ed Greenwood leaves better fantasy material in tightly coiled piles in his toilet.

  • http://twitter.com/ApocalypseChaos Danny Caracciolo

    ALRIGHT PEOPLE BETTING TIME….5 BUCK SAYS THAT THERE IS A PICTURE OF LULU IN A BINKINI PLACE YA BETS!!!

  • Anonymous

    man teh ass count is high as hell

  • http://profiles.google.com/shikome.kido.mi Shikome Kido Mi

    Thanks, I’ve been saying that about Yuna being the real protagonist for years. I always wondered if they just didn’t have the balls to commit to a female lead character, so after the writers came up with the basic plot the higher-ups had them shoe-horn Tidus in.
    Also, didn’t Sin kill Yuna’s dad or something? So she even has better daddy issues to bring to the table.
    Plus, watching Auron just shove Tidus out of the way after about seven minutes in to this review was fun.
    It’s too bad you couldn’t stand the character designs in Nine (though I can see why they’d bother you), it was a generally good game, even if it did have a few weird plot holes.

  • http://profiles.google.com/shikome.kido.mi Shikome Kido Mi

    Thanks, I’ve been saying that about Yuna being the real protagonist for years. I always wondered if they just didn’t have the balls to commit to a female lead character, so after the writers came up with the basic plot the higher-ups had them shoe-horn Tidus in.
    Also, didn’t Sin kill Yuna’s dad or something? So she even has better daddy issues to bring to the table.
    Plus, watching Auron just shove Tidus out of the way after about seven minutes in to this review was fun.
    It’s too bad you couldn’t stand the character designs in Nine (though I can see why they’d bother you), it was a generally good game, even if it did have a few weird plot holes.

    • http://twitter.com/TarielCorbeau Tariel Corbeau

      I kinda like Nine… but only for one single character that dies off…well gets turned into stone early on. So that is the only reason for me to play. Since it makes no sense either. Dagger…or Rose whatever the hell her name is thinks that a purple overweight monster is her mother? Yeah…. THAT is something stupid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/StrangeGermanBoy Held Kai

    does anyone know what happend to the parts 4 – 9 ?

    • http://www.facebook.com/StrangeGermanBoy Held Kai

      sorry, got it confused with another review *bow in shame*

  • http://www.facebook.com/StrangeGermanBoy Held Kai

    does anyone know what happend to the parts 4 – 9 ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/StrangeGermanBoy Held Kai

    does anyone know what happend to the parts 4 – 9 ?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FSV3IUPJR2LWZA6ZSCVZ56JKPM ryan m

    in a way tidus does have a puropose. his influence is what indirectly persuades yuna to try another way besides the final summoning, which in turn breaks the cycle of sin. he’s largely the indirect spiritual guide who creates another way (like tony in dr parnassus, only tidus is simply annoying at worst while tony is….well, a monster who harvests childrens organs for profit).
    at one point he asks why the machina are bad, and yuna admits that now that he asked she really doesn’t know. He’s also the one who gets her to open up and enjoy life, which also helps to get her to find a new way.

    Even wakka has some depth (issues over his dead bro (it’s implied that the reason he bonded with tidus so quickly was because tidus seemed a good substitute for his dead brother chappu), trying to overcome his racism).

  • Anonymous

    the end oh my god that was soo freaking AWSOME i love black lantern spoony  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1476698905 Anna Bryniarski

    When you said Seymour I was thinking about Seymour Krelbourn from Little Shop of Horrors

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gregory-Thomas-Bogosian/100000063000955 Gregory Thomas Bogosian

      Unfortunately not, but the abusive dentist would make an excellent Final Fantasy villain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carlos.algueiro Carlos Andrés Algueiro

    Can´t believe you used argentinian commentaries on the Blitzball part!
    Rock on!
    (I´m from argentina)

  • http://www.facebook.com/thewhitebuddha Katie Carbrey

    During this part of your review you make fun of Yuna for accepting to marry Seymour and you go as far as to call her stupid and you say that the party deserves to die to someone so apparently evil….but you’re missing the point that the reason she’s agreeing to marry him IS BECAUSE he’s evil.  She wants to negotiate with him to confess about murdering his father and face Yevon’s courts in exchange for marriage.  Though this plan is extremely retarded….lol.

    Just wanted to point out that Yuna knew he was evil, and even Tidus of all peopleknew early on that the guy was bad news.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

      That’s an even worse reason to want to marry him. If you suspect a guy of murdering his father you don’t offer to go down on him on your honeymoon. The only reason Seymour goes for marriage is because he’s got this skewed idea that it’ll form some kind of intimate bond between them and he’ll become the final aeon, become Sin and then kill everyone, but everyone knows the whole thing is a farce, including Yuna. There’s no intimate bond to form between a genocidal zombie trying to force himself on Yuna.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thewhitebuddha Katie Carbrey

    Another thing:  The part where they are under the ice…they actually landed on Sin.  At one point when you talk to Wakka or Lulu (can’t remember which) s/he says that s/he feels the ground shaking.  That’s cause they’re on Sin.  

    So sin lets off his toxin and they all pass out.  Sin then rides to Sanubia Desert or wherever and drops them off.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

      It still doesn’t explain how the Guado found Yuna and launched a full military assault on the Albhed before them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

      That doesn’t explain why the hell sin decided to do THAT. Why the hell did he decide to take his ENEMIES to the place where they basically needed to go? Why did he not KILL them? Why did he decide, “oh hey, I’m gonna poison these people then take them to a desert. Sure they are going to KILL me later, but hey it will be fun.”
      That right there, that is what we call a PLOT HOLE. This one is about the size of California, there are more plot holes in this game.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

      That doesn’t explain why the hell sin decided to do THAT. Why the hell did he decide to take his ENEMIES to the place where they basically needed to go? Why did he not KILL them? Why did he decide, “oh hey, I’m gonna poison these people then take them to a desert. Sure they are going to KILL me later, but hey it will be fun.”
      That right there, that is what we call a PLOT HOLE. This one is about the size of California, there are more plot holes in this game.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Johnny-Hero/622026131 Johnny Hero

         Sin is Jecht, Jecht is still in control so he drop the gang off in the Desert. It will make sense if you play the game.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Johnny-Hero/622026131 Johnny Hero

         Sin is Jecht, Jecht is still in control so he drop the gang off in the Desert. It will make sense if you play the game.

        • Anonymous

          So what was the point of delaying sin before in the story if sin is obviously able to move extremely(!) fast anywhere it wants to? Also, implying Jecht is still in control means he is murdering all those people on purpose?
          Or is it just the tick-God overriding Jechts wishes so he can heal himself to death in the final battle?

          It appears to me that Sin is used as a “deus ex machina”. Whats next? Sin is vomitting on Tidus and Tidus gets some new power thats needed to reach the next Story Plane?

  • http://www.facebook.com/thewhitebuddha Katie Carbrey

    Another thing:  The part where they are under the ice…they actually landed on Sin.  At one point when you talk to Wakka or Lulu (can’t remember which) s/he says that s/he feels the ground shaking.  That’s cause they’re on Sin.  

    So sin lets off his toxin and they all pass out.  Sin then rides to Sanubia Desert or wherever and drops them off.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Ugh. This story is so derisive and forced you can practically feel the moments when the writers just threw up their arms and said “whatever, just start the next scene.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

    16:50

    FOR THE FIGHTERS!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/samantha.r.deshong Samantha Realynn DeShong

    I gotta say I love Spoony’s reviews.  Ugh…I hated FF10!  Final Fantasy was the first rpg series that I really got into, starting with 8.  Despite its NUMEROUS flaws, it still holds a special place in my heart for being the game that introduced me to rpgs.  So when 10 came out I was so excited!  …Until I saw Tidus.  What a whiny little brat!  Oh, and the summons were REALLY useful in boss fights…until you could only use them once and then the boss outright killed them!  WTF!?  Ugh…I only liked 10 for the battle system and the music.  The sphere grid was pretty cool in my opinion.  And Auron rocks!!  And Spoony, so do you!

  • http://twitter.com/JagarTharn Artemiy Andreyev

    Was that music from KotOR II when Black Lantern Spoony appeared?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Loudon/100000983582044 Matt Loudon

      Actually that’s the Emperor’s theme.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000360871797 Greg Dean

    Final Fantasy was NEVER good.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LEBIKHXSUF7FNM5ATMNJZ4TO6E Rosie

    Tidus FTW XD yes he is whiney but damn is he fine! 

    • http://twitter.com/TarielCorbeau Tariel Corbeau

      I would rather have sex with a pineapple.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JJS3H4USK22T2KQOKSQHOT5THQ David

    WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (Correct me if i,m wrong.)

    It requires love to have a final aeon YET Yuna’s dad’s final aeon was Jecht and
    their both males……does that make Yuna’s dad bi-sexual?

    • kristopher_kross

      it takes a strong bond. friendship or love.

  • Anonymous

    6:40

    Maybe Spira has more lax age of consent laws?

    I was 18 when this came out, so I didn’t think TOO much of Rikku being portrayed that way. She merely seemed a LITTLE too young back then. But now that I’m almost twice her age and looking back, the sheer horror of that is really sinking in.

    You’re a heck of a dad, Cid, with that neurotic, horny lad of yours, and that lolita daughter that you let prance around half naked. If I didn’t know better, I’d say their last name was Cyrus.

  • Dylan Ryan

    “Spoony you ignorant slut!”

    Best line in anything ever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1442290943 Derek Thomas

      Amen!

  • Jeremy Lee

    whats up with this video?? it doesnt show up at all. all i get is a grey box with controls.

  • Alexander N.

    You making fun bout Tidus’ overacting?
    You overacting in every video oO”

    And the ass- and yuna kidnap-counter dosnt work here, sry.

    You the opposite of an fanboy: a hateboy x]

    • Anonymous

      Uh… Overacting is far from his only complaint. He has legitimate and very, VERY far reaching problems with the storyline of this game, which can be favorably described as a “narrative trainwreck”.

  • Anonymous

    …it’s 200 not 100…and the damned chest is still locked…

  • Anonymous

    Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I played this game and I tried to forget the experience as soon as I beat it, but how is it that Auron apparently both lived in Zanarkand a thousand years ago with Tidus and yet left a sphere in a forest ten years ago when he and Jecht, who also lived in Zanarkand a thousand years ago, went on the pilgrimage with Yuna’s dad Brasca?  And then Jecht is Sin who destroyed Zanarkand a thousand years ago even though he didn’t actually become sin until Brasca completed his pilgrimage just ten years ago and…you know what?  This game is just too damn confusing.  Also, if Auron is actually dead, why isn’t he sent when Yuna does her sending ritual multiple times in front of him?  Calling all fanboys who troll this site to explain it to me.

    • Stijn Klessens

      There is no timetravel in FF-X, Tidus just thinks there is. Basically, 1000 years ago, there was a war between Bevelle and Zanarkand. Zanarkand was losing and in the end yu yeven (the greatest summoner in Zanarkand) created Sin to go after Bevelle. Now either Sin went crazy and destroyed Zanarkand as well, or Zanarkand got owned by Bevelle, I’m not sure, but Zanarkand was doomed, so the summoners banded together and became the faith that you see on the mountain before you enter Zanarkand.

      Together they created a dreamversion of Zanarkand, to preserve it’s culture and people, and that is were Jecht and Tidus lived. Somehow Jecht exited dream Zanarkand, had his journey, and became sin. Then he entered dream Zanarkand along with the dead Auron to get Tidus back to kill him. Tidus exits dream Zanarkand and his story begins.

      Dream Zanarkand is located somewhere near Baaj temple probably, which is why he ends up there. Basically think of Dream Zanarkand as one giant Aeon.

      Tidus himself is probably a replica of Shuyin, who is the antagonist in FF10-2. but with differences because well, dreams wouldn’t be perfect anymore after 1000 years I guess.

      • http://twitter.com/TarielCorbeau Tariel Corbeau

        …… You know… I was not wrong that you need a 145 IQ in order to understand this damned game. Plus again you didn’t answer the question of why if Tidus/Auron are not ‘real’ and need to be sent then WHY don’t they get sent why Yuna sends other things. They are NOT living. Plus, how in the seven levels of hell are the summoners able to make spirits be raised without the knowledge that they died? because most spirits know they are dead, so how do they know they are not dead? Plus how are these dead if they have been dead for 1000 YEARS! able to make PHYSICAL bodies? “its magic” only goes for far as believability.
        Plus if Jecht is a ‘dream’ spirit thing then how is he able to become Sin? Don’t you need I don’t know… a BODY for that? Plus if Braska is a summoner then how did he not know Jetch is a spirit? Also if Auron knows all this then why doesn’t he tell Tidus? Sure the dolt is a whiny asshole but give him some little credit! Seriously, all this plot running around is just BULLSHIT!
        All this is, all that whole thing is making a utter convoluted mess. You know what, time travel is an easier and much preferred explanation for me now. That thing with Jecht acting like an asshole to get tidus to destory him later also is NOT explained. How is tidus able to age if he is already dead? If Jecht was that way before then why not come out and tell Tidus eveything? THAT is still a giant plothole!
        Why doesn’t Jecht return BEFORE trying to destroy Sin to explain to his SON that he needs to find a way out of the dream place/aeon in order to find and KILL HIM?! You see what I am getting at here?  No matter how you try to explain it the plot is still stupid and wildly complicated to the point you could only piece it together if you paid utter attention to EVERYTHING about not only THIS game but 10-2 and maybe even that fighting game that came out on the PSP! I’m lucky to get ONE game for ONE console! Plus having a game why you need to pay utter attention to it and other games in order to actually understand it just speaks of its poor quality in writing.
        Yes the games visuals are pretty, but then the visuals to Spirits Within are pretty too. But that does not make the plot to Spirits Within GOOD. I feel the same for this game. Maybe I’m stupid, but I only have average intelligence like most people.

  • http://twitter.com/kirana44 C. L. Johnson

    I have friends who actually LIKE this game. Seriously, they ENJOY the story, think there’s nothing wrong with Tidus and don’t see anything wrong with anything that Spoony’s mentioned as being bad. HOW they can think this, I don’t know.

  • tote_93_cool

    i would this:
    if you want a game where most characters are not whiny brats and some of them are pretty subtle (its a namco game, so hey, take what you get)
    tales of vesperia. with one of the best characters ever: raven.

  • Anonymous

    oh ya.  i got less of a life then spoony.     dodging lightning is for 1 of the special weapons. n its 200 times in a row.  not 1 can hit u

  • http://www.facebook.com/Rawrhan Rohan Sebastian Podge-Lamarion

    The only decent thing about this game is how badass Auron is. He, and the kickass heavy metal song that plays both at the beginning and ending of this game were the reasons I played this. 

    Oh and of course just ’cause I’m a Final Fantasy nerd and have to play them all. :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001002391585 Parsa Hadidi

    HAHAHA! Tidus is actually voiced by James Arnold Taylor, aka “Ratchet!”

    • http://www.facebook.com/raphael.boivin.50 Raphaël Boivin

      And honestly, I think it’s a shame. James Arnold Taylor doesn’t seem like a bad actor; I’ve heard a little bit of his work as Ratchet and he sounds really good. My guess is that the voice director (or however you call it, I’m not sure) was just really incompetent and couldn’t for the life of him make Tidus sound normal. Either that or Taylor just went “Fuck it, the script sucks, so I’m not gonna put any effort into it.” Really, these are only the reasons I can think of.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046755313 Michael Wong Ton Soup

    hey what’s the song name to your intro? I really like it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/raphael.boivin.50 Raphaël Boivin

      It’s called “Break Me” by the Irresponsibles. It says so in this intro, just saying.

  • jrlatour2

    May I just point out one thing? Isn’t more easy to relate to someone who happens to be along on the ride than someone who has to die to save the world? Is it easier to relate to the Queen in FF XII or is it easier to relate to a relate to a street urchin? It just seems to me that it would make more sense to have someone who’s not as large as life to tell a story. Try telling the story of a summoner through the eyes of the summoner instead of the eyes of a sports player. Try telling the story of Princess Ashe through the eyes of the princess instead of the eyes of a street urchin. Which is less biased and more grounded? I don’t know, it just seems easier to examine a story when it isn’t told by the main hero. Although, yes, the story could have been told by someone else just as easily. I’m just trying to make a point. You know it kind of makes sense that neither Squall nor Tidus takes on a leadership role in Dissidia doesn’t it? One last thing, FF 12: Relevant Wings is based a lot more on Van and Penelo.

    • ramses ijff

      Except that Tidus is larger than life and has a lot more background details to make it harder to relate to him. He is a celebrity that has been time-displaced, who has been abused by his father and has to face the fact that his civilization has been destroyed every day. Also, there is his whole origin story. He starts the game out as someone that is barely relatable and only gets less so over time. Most characters in this game suffer from that, and there isn’t really anyone amongst them who could become a main character without major story alterations.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charles-Moody/100002568397327 Charles Moody

    Penelo at lest helps them get allies on the other side Vann tends to fuck up every thing he touches until late in the game

  • SalomonAugust

    wheres those newreporst from…htat chick makes me horyh

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dustin-Smith/100001487648807 Dustin Smith

    16 min in. you said they literally wrote themselves into a corner. lol I got such good imagery from that line! XD

  • http://www.facebook.com/SergioZamoraGrancelli Sergio Zamora Grancelli

    Really?! You start the review with a Spanish (argentinean by the matter) relate of a blitzball match?! AWESOME!!

    …the vuvuzelas aren’t that awesome by the way

    • Lucas Barrientos di Leo

      That’s the point, being annoying as hell :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002817204759 Liam White

    I don’t know… Japan must not have the same concept of “age of consent” that we do. But still, was there not one fucking North American producer that thought 15 was maybe a bit young for a character like Rikku? Is Square-Enix really that protective of the complete crap that they think is good “character development”? WHAT THE FUCK!

    • SalomonAugust

      15 year olds are the best ones! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/shane.asher.98 Shane Asher

      Evidently they don’t. I have a friend who is actually from Asia, (I forget which country specifically) and he thinks Rikku and Yuffie from FF7 are the sexiest characters in their respective games. Hell, he believes that in FF9, Zidane (who is 19) should start a romantic relationship with Eiko (who is 6). Then again he believes that Seymour and Yuna are the perfect couple so make of that what you will.

      • http://twitter.com/ArtistaAF alvaro oyarte

        wellcome to pedoland!! XD

      • Sckarton

        O.O i guess Asian people being pedophile isn’t just an internet joke anymore.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Sheil/594748387 Jamie Sheil

        correction, Zidanes only 16 in that game, and same with Garnet (which she turns at the beginning of the game). But yeah, I think both Yuffie and Rikku are attractive. It doesn’t matter that they’re underage, yeah age of consent laws exist for a reason, but the average male can’t be helped being attracted to something like that. Just as long as you’re not actually getting involved with teenage girls in real life.

  • http://twitter.com/jesternario jesternario

    Yuna gets kidnapped more often than Princess Peach!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001213112770 Aaron Byrd

    so much win for using killed by death

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002267431133 Amir Johnson

    still better than twilight

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000528912775 Daniel Baquerizo

    The thunder plain 100 dodge thing is needed for some characters ultimate weapon, but I wouldn’t know how, cause this game has the worst mini games of any game I have ever seen!

  • jagarcia0705

    Tidus: By the way what is your last name Seymour?
    Seymour: It is Seymour Butts.
    Tidus: Seymour….Butts?
    Seymour: Is that a problem?
    Tidus: Not really. By the way do you any friends named Jack Hoff, Dick Hertz, Stu Pididiot, Ivan Tokissyou & Lee Keypepe.
    Seymour: Yes.
    Tidus: That’s fine…wait, what?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DY5WWLACT5KCAUAZKZ5RUPZNTM Arthur

    Say what you want, I still find Rikku to be hot in both X and X-2. That said, never really saw the attraction to Yuna.

  • godofplague

    I think the unsent eventually become the monsters which inhabit the world. Only a few maintain thier original form and personality.

  • manuman_knd

    if i have something to say about vaan, he wasn’t the main character nor he was intended. he was more like someone we could relate and learn things about this world along with him. basically, he was what tidus was supposed to be. except that he was far less annoying and far better backstory than tidus.
    anyway. i don’t remember a lot of the game, but i think since the director was sick before the game was ended, someone else had to took charge and the last third was different than originally intended.

  • IHeart28

    “Oh spoony you ignorant slut!” Dr. Insano! In front of your son?! Shame on you!
    Oh and this part of the review was slow at times but it’s still enjoyable. Black lantern spoony rocks my socks. Seriously, his precence and such is so cool he’s from the ice age.

  • imaginaryGHOST

    lol, being that I lived in South Africa for 11 years, the vuvuzelas are music to my ears #unintentionalrhyming

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.henshaw.547 David Henshaw

    If you use rikkus steal on seymours henchmen they can not long use auto potion

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.henshaw.547 David Henshaw

    Lulu does mention at the start that the unsent eventually go crazy and want to kill people or something along those lines

  • http://twitter.com/Das_Bass Das_Bass

    FFX: a puzzle of flesh

  • Michelle Cook

    So this is my third or fourth time watching this review and I always wonder: How hard was it to get that ring on over the gloves? Cause it’s really hard in my experience.

  • Brent Hyde

    Actually In Final Fantasy XII hey originally wanted Basch as the main Character and they added Vann at the last minute but the fans just happened to Love the character and personally Final Fantasy XII is one of my favorite behind IV on wiiware

  • http://www.facebook.com/Farshnuke Gordon Jones

    It’s like discovering whole new levels of awesome. (the review I mean)

  • http://twitter.com/GriffValdez Dylan Prince

    And yet as dorky as Seymore’s wedding hat is it’s still downright sensible compared to his regular hairstyle.

  • Zipper Dragon

    Women: Yuna: Doormat, Rikku: Jailbait, Lulu: Titan juggs
    Men: Tidus: Pussy, Wakka:…Just no, That furry chewbacca thing, & Auron: pure badass.
    I think its obvious who my favorate character of each gender is.

  • Zipper Dragon

    “Praise be to hubbard, thats what I would’ve said if I was a complete ass clown.”
    I see what you did there Spoondog. Well played. *nods*
    (For you dumbasses out there L. Ron Hubbard is the creator of a religion called scientology that is fucking retarded. I dont throw that word around either. I have an autistic brother, but if you believe in scientology, YOU ARE AN ASSCLOWN!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/joaopedro.duarteloucao João Pedro Duarte Loução

    So what music is that at the begining? the one in Japanese

  • Guest

    of course there

  • MechaVelma

    Rikku may be creepy here, but apparently the age of consent in Japan is 13.

    Yes, that’s icky.

    • Charos

      Not unexpected though, go back a couple centuries and most people were MARRIED by the time they were 13…hell I have a sociology textbook with pictures of 30+ year old American men with their 11 and 12 year old brides. One dude gave his new “wife” a doll for a wedding present…blech…

  • http://twitter.com/XSpectreGreyX XSpectreGreyX

    Glad I’m not the only one who thought of the Grind Boots.

  • Olga Nillelund

    Wait.. wait…!
    I know I’m late on this, but it *just* clicked for me..
    If Tidus (Titus? Tightus? Meg Ryan!) lived a thousand years ago, then why does the recording of Jecht mention Yuna? Like he knew her when she was just a kid? The sphere was stashed a decade ago, yes. But Auron was clearly much younger in the recording and he, just like Meg Ryan, lived a thousand years ago. Until Sin’s dandruff transported them both to the future which makes about as much sense as… pretty much anything in FF, apparently…
    So… Yuna was a baby a thousand years ago and now she’s.. in her early 20s’? I never played Final Fantasy, I just like watching Spoony rage and suffer (mostly suffer), so did *I* miss something or did Spoony leave out a wee bit too much? Or is it a giant plothole?
    A little help here!

    • Shayfen

      Originally Jecht got transported into Yuna’s timeline just like Tidus did. Jecht then became a guardian of Yuna’s father on his summoner pilgrimage, which Auron was also a guardian when he was younger. They all died, Auron somehow made his way into the past and found Tidus, dragged him into the future to meet up with the now grown up Yuna, and that’s the story. There’s the Zanarkand timeline in the past and there’s Yuna’s timeline in the future, with a thousand year difference between them.

      • Olga Nillelund

        Thank you!

      • Rakkrakk

        So it’s just as dumb and convoluted as expected.

      • Zachary Rogers

        Actually, the Zanarkand that Jecht and Tidus come from is just a dream of the Fayth. The Fayth are souls of people who gave their lives in a ritual who manifest as the Aeons that summoners summon.

        • Shayfen

          Ahh, ok. To be honest, I’ve never actually finished the game. Gone through it a couple times and always get to the end but never actually finish it. I know of Tidus being just a ghost or illusion or whatever but I always just assumed that the old Zanarkand was a different time line.

  • Blightness

    Haha, what is that theme at 16:50?

  • kingd353

    i love how he bitches and moans about waka saying soemthing stupid while trying to make rikku feel better while he just made a joke out of tidus realizing the women he is falling in love with will die at the end of their journey… ok normally i’m all for people having their opinions but fuck you spoony!

    • Dudley

      The only way those two things would be comparable would be if Spoony were a fictional character in FFX, making fun of Tidus to his face. Or if Tidus was a real person. Turns out, neither one of those is the case. Shocking, right?

  • theforetoldlegend

    Final Fantasy sucks

    • Charos

      Hey, final fantasy is fucking awesome…it’s the latter sequels that dropped the ball.

  • Rakkrakk

    Eh, I don’t know, Snow is damn close to Wakka’s offensive line with his “The heroes never die”.

  • Dudley

    Praise be to Zeus. That’s what I would have said if I was a follower of Zeus.

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