Final Fantasy X – Part 1

The Spoony One | Mar 11 2010 | more notation(s) | 

Final Fantasy 13 just hit store shelves, so naturally, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah I REALLY HATE TIDUS SO F’ING MUCH.

  • Anonymous

    *Ahem* It’s TEE-dus. And what the hell do you mean, no surprises? There’s three very awesome twists in this story.

    As for the laughing scene, you really should look up the original Japanese version. After that, you will thank all the gods in your pantheon that you were born American.

  • Anonymous

    actually, your idea for a game in which you set yourself on fire and play tennis in a cube made of bees in outer space does sound increasingly bad ass even if its an impossibility.

  • Anonymous

    FF9 is MUCH better. Zidane’s not a furry, but he does have a tail. He’s also not androgenous if you get to know his character. And the plot is nowhere near cliche.

    But THANK GOD FOR RAVAGING FF10. THAT GAME NEEDS TO DIE.

  • Anonymous

    Well going by that end pic we know who’s playing Tidus should there ever be a movie ;)

    Ultimate Irony if Spoony is forced to get into the Charachter of Tidus….not difficult, just pretend your retarded, but ironic.

  • Anonymous

    X is worse than VIII.

    Just saying at least. In fact I liked VIII a LOT, even more than VII, because despite the major faults in VIII, it at least had a more plausible plot over VII and more human characters, whereas VII was a stereotype parade of shame.

  • Anonymous

    I couldn’t stop laughting the entire video, you’re awesome.

  • Anonymous

    I couldn’t stop laughting the entire video, you’re awesome.

  • Anonymous

    Good thing you got someone else to play for you, I’d probably kill myself before the intro was over.

  • Anonymous

    Good thing you got someone else to play for you, I’d probably kill myself before the intro was over.

  • http://www.goemilio.com/ Emilio A. Alberto

    ROFLMAO!!!!! Not only did I laugh at your incoherent rant about Tidus, I learned that (shockingly) about Kirsten Dunst’s cover of “Turning Japanese”. Y’all need to see the video to that song on Youtube—it’s trip! And this coming from a person who said that Kirsten Dunst can’t sing worth crap after watching her in “Spiderman 3″.

  • http://www.goemilio.com/ Emilio A. Alberto

    ROFLMAO!!!!! Not only did I laugh at your incoherent rant about Tidus, I learned that (shockingly) about Kirsten Dunst’s cover of “Turning Japanese”. Y’all need to see the video to that song on Youtube—it’s trip! And this coming from a person who said that Kirsten Dunst can’t sing worth crap after watching her in “Spiderman 3″.

  • Anonymous

    I actually really liked Final Fantasy IX and X. I thought Tidus, despite being a little whiny, was a decent change of pace from the emo ellipses machines that the last two protagonists were. He was still annoying, but not TOO bad. I liked most of the other characters though (Wakka is the exception). The combat and level up systems were good, as you noted, and the plot was very interesting.

    Hell, believe it or not but I actually enjoyed Blitzball, both in concept and actual gameplay. I can’t explain either really though, I guess the breathe holding and extreme swimming speeds just don’t really bug me, as my bullshit meter has a pretty high tolerance. And once you get the Jecht shot you steamroll the competition, so again, I don’t know why I found it fun.

    I get your points, but I refuse to accept it as a bad game. There was a lot of awkward execution, but it didn’t ruin the game for me.

    P.S. I totally had a crush on Rikku, though to be fair, I was 12 when i played this, so there was no age aversion. However, there was the fact that she’s fucking fictional, a barrier I have yet to accept. Also, she was 17 in the second game, so it was somewhat less wrong for her to be scantily clad. That does not excuse the game from for being a horrible freaking embarrassment though.

  • Anonymous

    I actually really liked Final Fantasy IX and X. I thought Tidus, despite being a little whiny, was a decent change of pace from the emo ellipses machines that the last two protagonists were. He was still annoying, but not TOO bad. I liked most of the other characters though (Wakka is the exception). The combat and level up systems were good, as you noted, and the plot was very interesting.

    Hell, believe it or not but I actually enjoyed Blitzball, both in concept and actual gameplay. I can’t explain either really though, I guess the breathe holding and extreme swimming speeds just don’t really bug me, as my bullshit meter has a pretty high tolerance. And once you get the Jecht shot you steamroll the competition, so again, I don’t know why I found it fun.

    I get your points, but I refuse to accept it as a bad game. There was a lot of awkward execution, but it didn’t ruin the game for me.

    P.S. I totally had a crush on Rikku, though to be fair, I was 12 when i played this, so there was no age aversion. However, there was the fact that she’s fucking fictional, a barrier I have yet to accept. Also, she was 17 in the second game, so it was somewhat less wrong for her to be scantily clad. That does not excuse the game from for being a horrible freaking embarrassment though.

  • Anonymous

    Yeeeees! More Final Fantasy smashing!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

  • Anonymous

    Yeeeees! More Final Fantasy smashing!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for reminding me why I love you. :) Good show, sir.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for reminding me why I love you. :) Good show, sir.

  • Anonymous

    I actually like X, but watching the FFX LP on Something Awful gave me a good sense of humor about it, and now, I don’t mind you tearing it a new one.

  • Anonymous

    I actually like X, but watching the FFX LP on Something Awful gave me a good sense of humor about it, and now, I don’t mind you tearing it a new one.

  • Anonymous

    This is interesting, because Spoony obviously has some good things to say about it despite the fact that it succumbs to the normal traps of a final fantasy game. His bits about Jecht and Auron for example. I think it’ll be funny to see Noah try to come to terms with some of the better parts of the game.
    As apposed to Final Fantasy XIII. Where every friggin part ticked everyone off.
    And of course I acknowledge how this game had many MANY problems. Still, some parts of it’s mythology were interesting. Like how bodies not given a proper burial became intelligent zombies. Intelligent zombies that were apart of a vast government conspiracy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Wesleypitton Wesley Pitton

    Yes!

  • hadokenboom25

    Lol I laughed excessively. I personally didn't like it as much either.

  • sarkissamuel

    Nice! My day just got much, much, better. :D

  • http://twitter.com/jellybeard Tyler Spears

    Sweet jeebus, YES!!

  • bosmith

    …Ohhh… This won't end well…

  • http://www.facebook.com/travis.click Travis Click

    Noooo~ I don't think your mind can take it Spoony!

  • http://www.facebook.com/travis.click Travis Click

    Where can I get one of those awesome FFVIII sucks shirts?

  • Quinntensity

    I HATE TIDUS!!! Worst character ever made, he may be older than other final fantasy characters but, he makes Squall look like a man.

    • Vanlan

      I don’t know, I find Yuna more annoying. Her voice acting is terrible.

  • Quinntensity

    I hate TIDUS. He may be older than other final fantasy characters, but he whines so much he makes Squall look like a manly badass.

  • Quinntensity

    I HATE TIDUS!!! Tidus is so whiney that he makes Squall look like a manly badass. Little kids in FF9 put him to shame.

  • Kizna

    *pat pat pat*
    Just remember if you don't play X-2 you think he is dead for ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DanPitcher Daniel Pitcher

    Your amazing man, you've made my day.

  • wertitis

    Not even the voice of Bender, John DiMaggio, can save Wakka.

  • lostsorcerer

    Well there is One good thing you can say about Tidus, he's probably the only time you'll hear Japan and Leiterhosen in the same sentance :P

    All in FF X is a lot like 8 in that they tried to change Everything mechanically, and not a lot of the ideas were great.

    One last note: Spoony, have you been taking acting classes from Ric Flair?

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if you have the international version of FFX? as that one has the Dark Aeons and Penance bosses.

  • edge4552

    So glad you decided to start this, my main problem with this game is the amount of cutscenes compared to gameplay. I remember one part where a cutscene ends, you run up some stairs, and another cutscene starts. So bad. But it does have a couple of cool images throughout the game, even if they make no sense. Also I love the ass count throwback, epic!

  • yukovalis

    hey… why the hate for us Furries? :p We are good people :), but I will admit some in FF9 were a little strange looking…

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think Spoony *hates* you guys. I’m not a furry myself but I do have a couple friends, one online and one I know personally, who at least kind of are. They’re great people too, always fun to be around and play games with, etc. It’s just that your hobbies are, well, a bit unusual compared to how the average person spends their Friday nights. Sorry, don’t take offense, but when you describe a furry it just sounds odd. It’s definitely not something I could get into myself; it just seems weird to me. But to reiterate, I don’t hate you guys for it; if you’re having fun then all the more power to you. I know that’s kind of taboo to say on the internet, where you’re expected to hate them with a passion that confuses me. In summary, it’s not for me or Spoony, it weirds us out, but hey, it’s cool if that’s what you want to do with your time and money. It doesn’t reflect on you as a person, and I don’t judge a book by its cover (usually), nor by the coat of fur it’s covered in. ;)

      • Anonymous

        I can honestly see where your coming from, as I do with everyone else, even those that don’t care for furries. Everyone is allowed to judge as they wish, but It’s not as taboo or strange as you think. There are ONLY two things that make you a furrie
        1: An interest in anthro creatures. (sonic, yoshi, original drawings etc)
        2: You call yourself a furrie.

        That’s it, everything else is pure speculation. I spend my nights like everyone else. The thing is, we create original characters meant to represent ourselves, just in a more animal form. It’s reall no different then Dr. Insano, the spoony bum, dark lantern.. It’s all alternate characters for fun. Because we put so much effort in the design and personality we are very easy targets to trolls and people who insult without just cause. I know spoony doesn’t hate us, he just doesn’t understand us (nor would I try and force it upon him lol) so we are still all friends here.

        • Anonymous

          Great. I didn’t mean to make it seem personal. And actually, from a gaming perspective, I kind of can understand where you’re coming from as well, at least if I read your post correctly. I don’t think I can totally understand it, but hey, whenever I play an RPG, I kind of do something similar. I tend to play the character like a portion of myself. It’s kind of hard to explain, but I’ll let facets of my personality leak out onto my gameplay style. But I digress. Like I said, if you enjoy it, do it, and don’t let anyone else get you down about it. :)

          • Anonymous

            lol and I didn’t take it personal. Just trying to shed some light is all. Take it for what it is. One thing you learn from fighting trolls is that it doesn’t really matter what others say online, heck even spoony. At the end of the day we are what we are ^^

          • Anonymous

            Heh, personally I wouldn’t even bother fighting trolls. It doesn’t matter if they’re talking about furries, games, movies, the color of the freaking sky. They just get off on arguing and I would rather deny them the satisfaction of a reply. ;)

          • Anonymous

            Yes exactly, but some people don’t know any better, what’s more some trolls pretend to be furs and go around saying bad stuff. heck I’ve had my information (address, age, phone number) posted online just so they could try and scare me. Trolls are screwed up, heck then even tried to attack spoony.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, I hear you there. You know, it’s kind of ironic – had it not been for these trolls and the thing with Anon bashing furries left and right, I would have never heard of them, ever. Well, I think they were also mentioned on one of the CSIs at some point, though I’m sure the info about them is as accurate as all the other information on CSI.

          • Anonymous

            People who make the loudest noise are often the first heard. Most furs just want to be either friendly or left alone, while trolls go out of their ways to spread rumors and lies. It’s very simple who talks about us first. No, CSI, MTV, the news, all actors completly. In fact a long time ago a reporter got banned from a con (for being an ass-hat), and reported just gross lies here and there. *shrugs* people are shallow sometimes.

          • Anonymous

            I’m sorry to hear that. You know, all things considered, it’s really unnecessary for this much hate if you ask me. I’m looking back at what I said before and can’t help but think: “Yes, it’s different, but it’s not like it’s a cult or something, it isn’t harming anyone.” So yeah, the more I think about it, the less negatively I view it. It’s still not something I think I’ll get into myself; it’s just not for me. But I think I’ll stop criticizing you guys in the future. If anything, talking to you really does help remind me that you’re as much people as the rest of us, and I shouldn’t disrespect anyone just because they enjoy doing things that I don’t fully understand. :)

          • Anonymous

            oh please don’t get me wrong, there are pricks in every type of fandom, group, social things etc. I mean hey this is the internet :) It is nice to see people like you who would think about it first before coming to an opinion. Anywho I think we went on about this long enough don’t you? hehe so I wish you well in the future *hugs*

          • Anonymous

            Of course *hugs back* If you ever feel like it for some reason, feel free to contact my gaming email at eniliad@gmail.com :)

      • Anonymous

        I can honestly see where your coming from, as I do with everyone else, even those that don’t care for furries. Everyone is allowed to judge as they wish, but It’s not as taboo or strange as you think. There are ONLY two things that make you a furrie
        1: An interest in anthro creatures. (sonic, yoshi, original drawings etc)
        2: You call yourself a furrie.

        That’s it, everything else is pure speculation. I spend my nights like everyone else. The thing is, we create original characters meant to represent ourselves, just in a more animal form. It’s reall no different then Dr. Insano, the spoony bum, dark lantern.. It’s all alternate characters for fun. Because we put so much effort in the design and personality we are very easy targets to trolls and people who insult without just cause. I know spoony doesn’t hate us, he just doesn’t understand us (nor would I try and force it upon him lol) so we are still all friends here.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think Spoony *hates* you guys. I’m not a furry myself but I do have a couple friends, one online and one I know personally, who at least kind of are. They’re great people too, always fun to be around and play games with, etc. It’s just that your hobbies are, well, a bit unusual compared to how the average person spends their Friday nights. Sorry, don’t take offense, but when you describe a furry it just sounds odd. It’s definitely not something I could get into myself; it just seems weird to me. But to reiterate, I don’t hate you guys for it; if you’re having fun then all the more power to you. I know that’s kind of taboo to say on the internet, where you’re expected to hate them with a passion that confuses me. In summary, it’s not for me or Spoony, it weirds us out, but hey, it’s cool if that’s what you want to do with your time and money. It doesn’t reflect on you as a person, and I don’t judge a book by its cover (usually), nor by the coat of fur it’s covered in. ;)

  • Scullkrusher

    Good review. I hated that game that's the worse one in the series.

    • Anonymous

      FFX is a cakewalk in comparison to FFX-2. Yes, Pretty Princess Yuna Dress Up FFX-2 was the worst game of the series. FFX at least had the awesomeness of Auron. FFX-2, not so much.

      • http://twitter.com/scullkrusher D.A. “Scullkrusher” Bailey

        Perhaps I should’ve been more clear. I do agree with everything you said but when I played FFX I played it together with FFX-2 (FFX-2 I never finished because it sucked so bad). I refer to them both as the same game. I do this a lot in conversation when something is in a sequential series and it’s a bad habit online I guess because people lose track of what I’m talking about. Like in real life when I refer to a scene in Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Back to the Future, Rocky, etc. I just refer to the series and not the specific movie that scene occurred in.

        I hope that makes sense. lol

        • Anonymous

          It makes more sense, but I’m more of the type to view each game as it’s own item. It would be like hating Call of Duty completely just because Treyarch made some really bad games while Infinity Wards made the good ones.

          FFX-2 was blatant fanservice, and it makes any of the fanservice in FFX look tame by comparison. Also, that stupid mechanic for making you complete the game with 100% was stupid especially if you missed one tiny little thing like talking to someone once. Screw that noise. So, much like the Highlander movies, I’m forced to say FFX is ‘okay’ and then deny the existance of ‘FFX-2′ as mere figments of the imagination.

      • http://twitter.com/scullkrusher D.A. “Scullkrusher” Bailey

        Perhaps I should’ve been more clear. I do agree with everything you said but when I played FFX I played it together with FFX-2 (FFX-2 I never finished because it sucked so bad). I refer to them both as the same game. I do this a lot in conversation when something is in a sequential series and it’s a bad habit online I guess because people lose track of what I’m talking about. Like in real life when I refer to a scene in Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Back to the Future, Rocky, etc. I just refer to the series and not the specific movie that scene occurred in.

        I hope that makes sense. lol

    • Anonymous

      FFX is a cakewalk in comparison to FFX-2. Yes, Pretty Princess Yuna Dress Up FFX-2 was the worst game of the series. FFX at least had the awesomeness of Auron. FFX-2, not so much.

  • Lulu537

    You're really misjudging Final Fantasy 9. As many veteran fans will tell you FF9 is the best in the series in terms of pretty much everything. Even Hironobu claims it as his favorite. Sure the art design can be off setting, and I find that to be the number one complaint against it, however it doesn't really speak for the content and quality of the game. The characters, as well as the plot are by far the most well developed in the series. Zidane is far from whiny, and the villain puts all other villains in the series to shame, dispute his somewhat questionable appearance. I think you should give it another shot, it blends the best of the old with the best of the new and creates a truly epic experience that epitomizes everything a Final Fantasy game should be.

    • Anonymous

      IX isn’t near the best in the series, it sounds like someone who has only played the games since the playstation generation started: VI was far better and IV is a close second

    • http://twitter.com/Anaphyis Anaphyis

      What? Kuja? If your frame of reference only includes PSX-and-later Final Fantasy games, then fine. But personal preference or not, if you really compare him to Kefka or Golbez then I have to ask you to step outside and receive the bitch-slap you deserve!

    • http://twitter.com/Anaphyis Anaphyis

      What? Kuja? If your frame of reference only includes PSX-and-later Final Fantasy games, then fine. But personal preference or not, if you really compare him to Kefka or Golbez then I have to ask you to step outside and receive the bitch-slap you deserve!

    • http://twitter.com/Anaphyis Anaphyis

      What? Kuja? If your frame of reference only includes PSX-and-later Final Fantasy games, then fine. But personal preference or not, if you really compare him to Kefka or Golbez then I have to ask you to step outside and receive the bitch-slap you deserve!

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    Spoony, I think you're getting funnier as time goes on. I laughed insanely much watching this, and while I've not played X, I did get to watch my roommate play it obsessively.

    And, same as you, I'm cursed to pick up any Final Fantasy game I can. Luckily, not owning a Playstation or PS2, I've been spared since VIII. Unfortunately, XIII is on the 360 as well. I'm playing as we speak. Honestly, so far, I like it. Whether it'll remain that way or not, I've no idea.

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    Something could be the best game in the world, but if the art design grates, you're not going to get someone to play it, or even give it a good chance. I loathe the art style of World of Warcraft, and you'll never get me to try it. Trying to tell someone “If you can just ignore the part you have to look at the whole time, you'll really enjoy it” just doesn't make for a compelling argument.

    • http://twitter.com/KamenRiderGumo William Bumgarner

      I used to say that, too, but now you can barely get me away from World of Warcraft. I just ran six dungeons and only stopped for dinner/to watch Spoony. And the art style is partially so that they can simplify things to make them easier on less-powerful systems. They could have updated the graphics every time a new breakthrough in visual technology was revealed, but it would make the game more expensive to buy/play and you’d have to have a high-end system to play it, cutting a lot of players out of the loop. Blizzard decided that more people being able to play was more important than “blow-me-away” visuals and I cannot fault them there. I pretty much got out of PC gaming because the games I wanted to play always required me to invest two to three hundred dollars to upgrade my processor, video card, memory, etc., and by the time I got all of that together, a new game came out that I wanted that required even more power. So, for me, WoW is a breath of fresh air in more regards than one. (I guess it also helps that I’m a retro gamer who grew up on the ATARI 2600, Colecovision and Intellivision and I’ve never needed uber-realistic graphics to be happy with a game.)

      • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

        Trust me, I know why WoW’s graphics are low-polygon/texture. And don’t try and pull the “old gamer so I don’t care about graphics” card with me, mister. I too grew up with an Intellivision. In fact, my favourite game on there was Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, followed by SNAFU. There’s a difference between “wanting realistic shiny graphics” and “thinking it looks like a crayola box barfed on a grade schooler’s trapper-keeper.” For WoW, I’m in the latter camp. I’ve been on the MMO treadmill. Started with the original EQ, but only for a couple months. I’ve played CoX, Earth and Beyond, EQ2, and Final Fantasy XI. WoW brings nothing new to the table for me, and I dislike the art. Why would I bother? And you know what my favourite game of all time is? Deus Ex. I don’t know if you’ve played that lately, but the graphics are crap. They were awesome for the time, but they don’t exactly hold up. Yet I still played it *twice* last year. My second-favourite game? The SNES version of Chrono Trigger. Wonderful art in there. Characters are all stylized to be instantly recognizable even in silhouette. But why I like both games is the story, not the graphics. Unfortunately, WoW has no story, and as I said, nothing new-to-me gameplay-wise. That leaves graphics. So again, I loathe the art style. The _style_. You could polish it up real good. Triple the poly-count, vector-lighting, whatever the hell they’d need to do, and yet I’d still just call it turd polishing. I still don’t see the point in trying to convince someone to try something after they’ve specifically said “I don’t like how it looks.” After some time’s passed, they may stop caring, and then be willing to give it a fair shake, but if they’re actively against it, just leave it alone.

      • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

        Trust me, I know why WoW’s graphics are low-polygon/texture. And don’t try and pull the “old gamer so I don’t care about graphics” card with me, mister. I too grew up with an Intellivision. In fact, my favourite game on there was Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, followed by SNAFU. There’s a difference between “wanting realistic shiny graphics” and “thinking it looks like a crayola box barfed on a grade schooler’s trapper-keeper.” For WoW, I’m in the latter camp. I’ve been on the MMO treadmill. Started with the original EQ, but only for a couple months. I’ve played CoX, Earth and Beyond, EQ2, and Final Fantasy XI. WoW brings nothing new to the table for me, and I dislike the art. Why would I bother? And you know what my favourite game of all time is? Deus Ex. I don’t know if you’ve played that lately, but the graphics are crap. They were awesome for the time, but they don’t exactly hold up. Yet I still played it *twice* last year. My second-favourite game? The SNES version of Chrono Trigger. Wonderful art in there. Characters are all stylized to be instantly recognizable even in silhouette. But why I like both games is the story, not the graphics. Unfortunately, WoW has no story, and as I said, nothing new-to-me gameplay-wise. That leaves graphics. So again, I loathe the art style. The _style_. You could polish it up real good. Triple the poly-count, vector-lighting, whatever the hell they’d need to do, and yet I’d still just call it turd polishing. I still don’t see the point in trying to convince someone to try something after they’ve specifically said “I don’t like how it looks.” After some time’s passed, they may stop caring, and then be willing to give it a fair shake, but if they’re actively against it, just leave it alone.

    • http://twitter.com/KamenRiderGumo William Bumgarner

      I used to say that, too, but now you can barely get me away from World of Warcraft. I just ran six dungeons and only stopped for dinner/to watch Spoony. And the art style is partially so that they can simplify things to make them easier on less-powerful systems. They could have updated the graphics every time a new breakthrough in visual technology was revealed, but it would make the game more expensive to buy/play and you’d have to have a high-end system to play it, cutting a lot of players out of the loop. Blizzard decided that more people being able to play was more important than “blow-me-away” visuals and I cannot fault them there. I pretty much got out of PC gaming because the games I wanted to play always required me to invest two to three hundred dollars to upgrade my processor, video card, memory, etc., and by the time I got all of that together, a new game came out that I wanted that required even more power. So, for me, WoW is a breath of fresh air in more regards than one. (I guess it also helps that I’m a retro gamer who grew up on the ATARI 2600, Colecovision and Intellivision and I’ve never needed uber-realistic graphics to be happy with a game.)

  • yukovalis

    I agree! I played FF8 for about 2 hours before getting bored, while FF9 I beat twice. It's just so much better in story, character, and gameplay. I mean sure it's not a emotional jump like FF7 was, but in it's own right was as good as it's going to get. Also I like furries so that might have helped me get past the dragonball tail lol.

  • Quinntensity

    @Lulu537 – I gotta say Zidane is the most mature main character from 7 onward.

    Spooney, I wish you put in my favorite whiney Tidus quotes from the begining.
    “So, so, cold, need fire.”
    “I need foooood.”
    “What the!?”

  • http://twitter.com/madcapscience Adam Yakaboski

    I'd hate to be the guy but the entire rant saying that people can't breath in water is strangely wrong. Its a classic science fiction trope based off of the concept that oxygenated rich liquids do have an advantage over air.

  • droge085

    Ok, I'm going to give you the same BS fanboy message, but VIII and X switch constantly for my favorite and second favorite game of all time, with IX being the third. That being said, I am ecstatic that you're doing more FF reviews and I love how you always tear them a new one. Can't wait for the next one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    New Mexico? Is that an Escape 2000 reference I smell?

    LEAVE THE BRONX!

  • droge085

    I played X2, got 100% and to this day refuse to believe it ever happened. Tidus is still dead, Yuna has become a broken hearted alcoholic, and Rikku whores herself on the corner of Zanarkand Ave and Main to feed her smack addiction.

  • ZC3

    Lol @ Meg Ryan. This is freaking awesome so far, can't wait for you to rip it a new ass hole in part two.

  • droge085

    Did anyone else despise Kimahri? Cause I fucking loathed this would-be blue mage Snarf wannabe. I would seriously only use him to have him self destruct.

  • Anonymous

    lmao, that was hilarious as hell.

    FF9 was the first final fantasy I really got into. To me it seemed a lot more lighthearted, characters acted more human, and it had its funny moments. Though yeah, I thought the main villain Kuja was a chick til halfway through the game (Thong and make up, COME ON). I tried to play 10 expecting something like 9, and oh dear god. I just got so…bored of the characters real quick sides the two you like for about the same damn reason. I tried 7, 8, and 12, but none of them could hold my attention like 9 ever could. Though I think that’s because with this series, people’s favorite is the one they played first. But then again, 9 is what got me to playing 6. And I love that one too, now. What the hell happened to giving characters depth in this series instead of making them like unrealistic wax dolls?

    And admittedly, I love the art style. I don’t necessarily mean the characters, but stuff like the BGs and the airships I thought were pretty neat. I cringe to think how much work went into some of the BG images, and some are only seen for 10 seconds or so to grab an item.

    A lot of people I know that were FF7 fanboys hated 9 because of the art style too, which confuses me since 7 was deformed as hell model wise too.

  • pheathos

    loved it, cant wait for part 2.

  • quarky

    Wow, this was so unexpected, but totally AWESOME! Final Fantasy X is a game I loved when I was 15, but when I tried it again a couple of years ago, I hated every secound, mostly because of the unlikable characters.

    You got balls for starting up with another Final Fantasy review, the bar is set with FF8. Can it be topped?

  • droge085

    Elbow drop a Final Fantasy VIII sucks shirt!

  • http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

    Dude, you seriously screwed up if you dashed on FFIX purely because of its art design. Zidane is NOTHING like Tidus or Squall. Yeah, he's androgynous and is weird-looking, but that's nothing. He's ten times a better protagonist: far more adventurous, something of a perverted ladies' man, and doesn't spend the entire game cursing fate for how lame his life is. Spoony, I give you my word, skipping FFIX was the dumbest mistake you ever made. (Now on to watch the rest of the review.)

    PS: What about FFXII?

  • Aersmith

    Fantastic review Spoony even though I love Final Fantasy 10

  • http://twitter.com/neusdev Devourer of Souls

    Now this is more like it! Excellent job, Spoony!

  • http://twitter.com/LucasChad Lucas Allen

    Kirsten Dunst sang Turning Japanese????

    From what movie? Please don't say Bring It On!!!

    • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

      It was part of an art exhibit by McG in Japan. There’s even a music video on Youtube. I won’t post a link ’cause it has boobs and stuff, but you can find it easily.

      • http://twitter.com/ScaryReviews Lucas Allen

        Thanks! I had to find it on YT just for the song! However, nothing could replace the Vapors’ original because the remake is nothing more than a pale imitation!

        • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

          It’s not an imitation, it’s an atrocity. Kirsten Dunst CAN’T SING, or if she can then she just sucked in this one.

        • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

          It’s not an imitation, it’s an atrocity. Kirsten Dunst CAN’T SING, or if she can then she just sucked in this one.

      • http://twitter.com/ScaryReviews Lucas Allen

        Thanks! I had to find it on YT just for the song! However, nothing could replace the Vapors’ original because the remake is nothing more than a pale imitation!

    • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

      It was part of an art exhibit by McG in Japan. There’s even a music video on Youtube. I won’t post a link ’cause it has boobs and stuff, but you can find it easily.

  • http://twitter.com/MrRandyWatson1 Randy Watson

    Dude this is fucking epic.

    AhhhhhAhhhhhhhAhhhhhhAhhhhhAhhhhhhhh

  • Nexus_Series

    Dedicate an entire episode to Tidus running down the goddamn Mi'hen Highroad stopping every three fucking seconds to make boring conversation with throw-away characters. It sums up the entire game in about 20 minutes.

  • Tombha

    YES! you sir.. are the man .. good luck with the rest of the game :P hope this doesnt take 2 years to finish..

  • shardok

    Haha I remember a friend loand me this game. “You should try it its AWSOME”, I was blinded by hes judgement for about one sitdown for 1-2 hours, then I had enugh :s

    The start section of the game was realy teadius, but then again I was pritty young.
    Have always loved FF3 (6?) and FF7 tho.

  • http://twitter.com/toodarkpark Park Boyer

    That was great. Also, your opening thoughts on the series sum up my own feelings perfectly.

  • http://www.youtube.com/deathwing107 deathwing107

    I'm with BlueHighwind on this. It'd the reason why FFIX is my favorite among the PS1 FF games. Zidane is also one of the best Protagonists of the series. It's simplistic to get into and challenging to master. It has a card game but MUCH easier to understand than Triple Triad.

  • http://www.youtube.com/deathwing107 deathwing107

    What's funny, too, is that that whiney voice that Tidus has is also the voice of Ratchet from the Ratchet and Clank series, and has been since the 2nd game I believe.

  • MrZer0

    god…this game
    I played it right to basically 1 hour before fighting Sin before I just stopped and sold it back. There was no ending that could justify all that bullshit and I do not regret never knowing

  • http://twitter.com/stuartnewsom Stuart Newsom

    *bows* All Hail! All Hail!

    That was amazing. I now cannot wait for more. I also have much respect for the multiple Monkey Island references, both with Guybrush and playing the theme in the background. You need to reference a great game to balance out the crappy.

  • Matrim

    An aurochs is a now extinct species of cattle that were known for their size and ferocity. Now you know…

    …I'm not finishing it…

  • Kirzan

    Oh god the hammer you will bring down upon 13… Vanille… Linearity…

  • Caelan

    FF9 is meant to be more or less meant to be an FF1 remake.

    I like FF8, but all your problems with are valid. I just could get past it. (There are tricks to bypass the more annoying bits too.)

    As for FF10. I still think the Cloverfield monster is based on Sin. It even had Sin Spawn that fell off it.

  • Jaebird88

    In case you are going to continue with reviewing 10 the same way you did 8, then I look forward to every hilarious moment :D

  • Kirzan

    He skipped FF9 because even though he doesn't like the art design, he has little to complain about… really the story ain't bad and the general system is nice. Spoony is very satirical so he won't review a game that he has very little to rant on.

  • tarvok

    oh how I hate this game. I agree 100% on everything you have said so far. just thinking about this game makes me want to go on a marry rampage of J pop destruction. I mean I am really one of the easiest people in the world to get to disband my disbelief but this game was just way to out there. I mean killer dodge balls, imposable sports, and the most under explained leveling system I ever seen. and I hate with the voice acting of this damn game so much I would mute the TV and sit in silence during every plot point

  • http://twitter.com/KamenRiderGumo William Bumgarner

    I think there's more hate for this game in the comments than in the actual review.

    That said, this is my fave Final Fantasy (and one of the two I was able to stand long enough to actually finish). 1, 2 and 3 bored me to the point where I could never finish them and I found myself unable to like any of the characters in 7. Actually, I take that back – I couldn't feel ANY emotion for any characters in 7. I didn't like them, I didn't hate them….there was nothing. 10 and 10-2, on the other hand, at least gave me that. Granted, I thought Tidus was more whiny than needed, but I liked Riku's cheerful, peppy personality, Tidus' living in his father's shadow (a feeling I know all too well), Yuna's quest to live up to her own father's glory despite knowing the costs, Auron's mysterious badassness, Khimari's nobility, honor and loyalty, Lulu's snarkiness and Wakka's good-natured idiocy. They felt like real people to me, which is honestly a lot more than I can say for 7 (though I will give it credit for at least trying to have character development; I can't remember is 1/2/3 had any of that or not, but it has been years since I tried to play them).

    The story of 10, though. was what really drew me in; I was hooked fairly early on and it kept me wanting to play the game to the end. I'll give you that Blitzball was a head-scratcher as to how they were breathing, but I can suspend disbelief and say it's due to a magic spell around the ball or something (which would add another incentive for the players to get said ball, now that I think about it). And, of course, I liked it enough to see the continuation of said story in 10-2. That one started a bit slow, I admit, but it gets to the beginnings of the plot soon enough to keep me interested. And, of course, we get more background on the destruction of Zanarkand and the lies and corruption of the Yevonites.

    Gameplay was smooth enough to keep me playing, and be it the Sphere Grid or Garment Grid system I liked the way you could customize jobs in these games. You could have all characters radically different or make them all interchangeable and identical – depending on your preference. I personally barely found anything I didn't like, and obviously there was nothing I couldn't just “blip” over and keep playing. I know that 10 and 10-2 are the most hated of the FF series because they're the least like any other games in the series, so maybe it's no coincidence that I like these and didn't like the others. Who knows.

    Anyway, that said, I do have to say I'm enjoying this review so far. Your reactions and comments are pure gold, as always, and even when you're bashing something I like I can be entertained. Job well done, Spoon-man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/reptyle216 Brad Johnson

    9 and 10 are actually my two favorite games in the series. Partly because Zidane and Tidus, as much as I too hate their anime androgyny, are the *least* whiny of FF's heroes. They stay cheery and upbeat despite (most of) what gets thrown at them, which was a refreshing break from Cloud and Squall. As for blitzball, I just figured the players have some ability to breathe underwater, but the game obviously never confirms this. Nonetheless, this first part was funny as hell and I can't wait to see the rest.

  • tiggerpete

    I gotta say, I liked this game, but then again I only paid 20 bucks for it, I gotta say I had a lot of fun with this when I played it, but I concede it is far from perfect, heck, a lot of games I enjoy have a lot of flaws, but that doesn't mean I can't play them. If Spoony rags on a game or a movie, it doesn't necessarily mean it is unworthy of being played or seen, it just means you need to have the right mindset. besides sometimes the worse something is, the more fun it is to experence it (though I have always legitamately enjoyed almost every FF though VIII and X-2 are the worst I have ever played, X is way better if you compare it to its sequal)

  • http://www.youtube.com/deathwing107 deathwing107

    I should also say. The voice of Wakka is none other than the voice of Bender from Futurama! I was disappointed we never get to hear him say “Bite my Shiny Metal Ass.”

    • http://warpedtree.blogspot.com/ CornBRED-X

      John Di Maggio has done a lot of games. More recently hes famous for Marcus Fenix in Gears of War.

      Wakka is definitely one of his best. Its one that sounds the least like his actual voice.
      Love the bender reference btw =)

      • Anonymous

        Also he was Gilgamesh in FFXII, which was doubly awesome due to the combination of Gilgamesh + Bender.

      • Anonymous

        Also he was Gilgamesh in FFXII, which was doubly awesome due to the combination of Gilgamesh + Bender.

    • http://warpedtree.blogspot.com/ CornBRED-X

      John Di Maggio has done a lot of games. More recently hes famous for Marcus Fenix in Gears of War.

      Wakka is definitely one of his best. Its one that sounds the least like his actual voice.
      Love the bender reference btw =)

  • tiggerpete

    yeah, I agree, IX is great, I am still going back to replay it now, and it is still fun. as for the art design, I thought it was kind of fun and whimsical, and was a nice throwback to the NES/SNES FF's

  • TimADugan

    I think he's more referring to the fact that Spoony skipped playing through FF9 almost entirely. Spoony said he'd only played the first few hours of FF9 before stopping, twice.

  • alfredmordeir

    The Face, THE FACE!!!

  • http://twitter.com/SolarisKnight Michael Antignano

    Wow. Of all the things I expected you to review this year, FF 10 wasn't anywhere close Well it does make sense, given how this is the year 2010.

  • Ashenge

    I want to give you a big sloppy kiss, Spoony. :'D

  • http://twitter.com/mlsterben Ben Littlejohn

    Oh God, I have all those magazines…

  • TomeOne

    Hehe I caught your use of Bruce Willis singing “Swinging on a Star” from Hudson Hawk. ;)

  • White_Cloth

    D-Did you just use a clip of Tidus ascension into another time as cathartic imagery of that characters abortion?

    I know it's a fictional character, but I must say: dark. Particularly because the character cries like a babe as time appears to be tearing him apart.

  • TimADugan

    Putting aside the complete physics mystery that is Blitzball, when I first played the game itself, I thought it was a really good mini-game. I mean, after those damned card games in FF8 and FF9, this was so much better.

    Then, as the game progressed, I'd built the world's All-Star Blitzball team…and could not lose…even if I tried. The mini-game turned into a massive waste of time as I played tournament after tournament looking for Wakka's best weapon.

    Of course…just look up an old Japanese Nintendo game called Captain Tsubasa 2, and you'll see where the Blitzball gameplay came from…

  • Prussia

    Tidus or Squall?
    We're doomed

  • abyssion1337

    Nice to see you nail another final fantasy though I have to say even with the levels of ridiculous this game reaches I actually found myself enjoying much of it and thought it was better than VIII and IX. I don't maybe Auron saved the game or maybe it compares so favorably to X2 that I had no choice but to look back upon it favorably

  • http://twitter.com/FotoVerite Matthew Bergman

    Spoony… You know I love you, but using the word fagy in a review. NOT COOL, Not cool at all. And you been doing so well, even spoony with spoony 2 didn't come off as remotely homophobic and that was quiet a hat trick.

    I know you don't mean it in that way but seriously man as much as I wish that south park episode was right it isn't.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Grottkau/1643732886 Ryan Grottkau

    Spoony,I like your reviews but I love Final Fantasy X. Sorry you didn't like the game but it is a great game and it is the first modern game of the franchise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Boren/559505180 John Boren

    Nice, best episode in awhile, you were able to channel a lot of energy into this review. I laughed my ass off at the point where he said “let me tell you a story.”

  • Salenstormwing

    I'll be the first to admit I didn't even make it 2 hours into FF9 before i shelved it. I think I got a whole 20 minutes into the game before I tossed it.

    Also, 3 minutes into the show and Black Lantern Spoony is back just to escape FFX. But yes, Auron is probably one of the best Final Fantasy characters of all time. The guy exudes cool. He's like Miyamoto Musashi if he took steroids of pure awesomeness.

  • laharl777

    I gotta say, as completely ridiculous as Final Fantasy X was, I actually enjoyed it. That being said, this was your best video in a while and I laughed my ass off. Please continue tearing FFX a new one. :)

    Also, aurochs are the ancestors of domestic cattle.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurochs

  • gigans696

    I have to get something out of my chest : I really hate FF VII WAY more than I hate FFVIII. And I hate VIII alot, even before finding abou Spoony and he's review, wich just made me remember even more things I hated about. But VII . . . man it has the most horrible, annoying, cast ever. And the most overrated moment in gaming history . . . Aeriht's death. Seriously you have her in your party for an hour maybe and the game makes such a BIG DEAL.

  • inamidato

    Yeeeah! I was waiting for a long time for this review and honestly I thought you didn't want to do it. FF8 was your best review and this one already looks great.

    • Anonymous

       The art in FF9 was bad? are you kidding? Treno was beautiful as were many of the cities and castles.

  • ZC3

    He didn't use the word just for the sake of it as it fit in right with the gag he was aiming at (being as ridiculous and over the top as possible). As a bi-sexual person I had no problem with it (and I usually do get really peeved by that word's use).

  • http://twitter.com/startiller startiller

    *twitches a bit* I never noticed how annoying Titus is…
    I still like Blitzball even though it's impossible. I can't believe you're not entertained by 'death by ball'! I like Wakka's attack b/c absurd that a ball is stronger than a sword in that game. Also, I find it hilarious to admit to someone that a guy kicked your butt only using a dodge ball as a weapon. (hehe).

    All in all, I <3 you. This review is hilarious even though I didn't side with some of your views about the game (since I do like it despite it being kind of 'bleh'). It won't stop me from laughing at your jokes! <3

  • http://twitter.com/FotoVerite Matthew Bergman

    Lets just say that every FF since six as spoony has said has been a long slide down to terribleness.

    His opening monologue scared me in how accurate it spoke to my feelings for the series.

  • neoatg

    FF9 was a decent game I played till the last dungeon and then well I don't know why I didn't finish it. It does have that damned card game though, And the whole black mage part of the plot gets confusing.

    I abandoned Final Fantasy series when it hit the ps2 I have over 100 ps2 games but it just never appealed to me to get FFX or any of the others after it. I at long last have a PS3 maybe I will try the series out again.

  • Ashenge

    Just remember, Spoony. The age of consent in Japan is 13.

  • sifer2

    lol Spoony's best material is the FF series it seems.

    Meg Ryan is a pretty annoying bastard. And I also always wondered why he didn't use a Blitzball as a weapon if he is the best at it. I also hated Blitzball far more than even the card games. For me FFX is when I started to lose interest in this series an FFX-2 really killed it. It's like Square stopped making cool an charming characters you loved an started making these annoying J-pop looking pre-teen things in their games.

    Oh an yeah cosplay Rikku is enough to send a lot of dudes to prison haha.

  • aalberto81

    So I assume that this is the first in a series? I really hope so… I still enjoy watching the FFVIII review!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000325806322 Shane Jennings

    Moar FFX reviews please, made my day seeing this.

  • Quicksilver_the_Archangel

    Man, Dr. Insanso looked REALLY FLUSTERED. Wonder what he's been up to… you know, other than torturing Mechakara to death.

    I about died whenever “Real” Spoony became Black Lantern again JUST to avoid this review. Hilarious.

  • http://www.gamespot.com/users/cornbredx CornBRED-X

    While all your complaints I totally agree with, I still enjoyed this game. For me it was cool (and I'm surprised you didnt mention it) as this was the first Final Fantasy Game to have voices. None of the others previous had it. The graphics we're really good too, and honestly they still looks pretty decent (although they do show their age).

    I liked a few of the characters (and despite his lame weapon and hair I liked wakka), the story was… alright… all-be-it at this point cliche for Final Fantasy, and it had some interesting maps.

    I cant say its the best FF, not by a long shot, but it was enjoyable at the time and I was not unhappy playing it. It was the first game I can recall that showed what the PS2 could do (alot like Uncharted 2 or one of the few other big games of last year for PS3). There was alot more to it then its lameness that, for me, it made it forgivable.

    That being said this new review is hilarious and I cant wait to see more. Like I said, your totally right about whats lame in this game (and there is alot).

  • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

    Black Lantern Spoony speaks!

    And I kinda wanted a silly Peter Parker / Ben Reilly thing to happen with you and the clone. You know, acting like brothers and stuff. :P

  • idward

    OWWW oh god I can't stop laughing, this is a hell of a lot better than those crappy 1 hour wressling v logs. You really really should do more of these it was awesome, half an hour later and I am still laughing.

  • robotpanda

    Wow, Spoonmeister, you have got to do more of these! I agree with you 100% on this god awful game. I used to refer to Tidus as “duckface” from all the pursed lip expressions he makes. The too stupid to eat comment really sums it all up. AWESOME, AWESOME TO THE MAX!!

  • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

    I did see that video, SHE CAN'T SING AT ALL.

  • Harry417

    So this must be why I got no commentary on TNA Impact Monday night. This had better be one of the funniest damn vids you've ever done…

    …You got lucky.

  • http://twitter.com/strife17 Eric Draven

    Who taught Tidus how to use machines? Selphie?
    I don't like the FF9 art style either.
    I love Lulu. Goddamn that woman is hot!
    Auron IS badass, but I'll stop pointing out the obvious.

  • Olivaw

    I actually hope this review doesn't take too long. I'm more looking forward to what you have to say about Final Fantasy XII, since that's the only 3D Final Fantasy that I actually liked!

  • http://www.goemilio.com/ Emilio A. Alberto

    I agree with you—but at least it was slightly better than how she sang in Spiderman 3.

    • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

      I haven’t seen Spider-Man 3, all my geek / nerd friends seem to agree that I should just avoid it. :p

    • http://foxhack.livejournal.com/ Foxhack

      I haven’t seen Spider-Man 3, all my geek / nerd friends seem to agree that I should just avoid it. :p

  • Ran88

    My day was fucking awful but this totally turned it around, I can't sit down anymore since I laughed my ass clean off.

    As for the game I really liked both the battle system and the sphere grid since it allowed both customization and character specialization. Plus it looked fantastic for its time. You didn't mention what I hated most about this game though, THE VOICE ACTING! Its so fucking bad, especially Yuna, Tidus and Wakka. I actually wished that the dialog was all text like the previous games while playing it.

  • Waciba

    Woohoo! Spoony's FF rant is back and better than ever!

  • bloodhowl

    Awesome! This is what I have been waiting for! :D Looking forward to the rest. Reminded me of the first time I saw the FF8 review. Thanks Spoony.

  • ApatheticOne (the original)

    FF9 is good..especially compared to 8! I have mixed feelings on 10…I hated the story but really had fun with the combat and side missions..

    Try 13 out if you haven't already, I bet you'll hate it Spoons..

  • beeohthree

    Wait…when you went nuts about Tidus and cut to the technical difficulties screen…was that SPOONY KEFKA?!?! Because that's breathtakingly awesome!

    Anyway, I actually preferred X over VIII because of some of what you said…no magic drawing or stupid card games, and the battle system was quite good. I enjoyed blitzball, but then I'm a big sports video game guy and I'm guessing that had something to do with the fun value. And Auron is by far the best and most interesting character in the game.

    The most painful part of the game is the main character (you know, Meg Ryan), which is unfortunate. Looking forward to the rest of this review.

  • dragonfly82

    LMAO!!
    Awesome Spoony, your FF reviews are the best!

    I was expecting your opinion on FFXIII, but I guess I can wait on that….
    to me, the game has been pretty dissapointing so far:
    Linear level design, no party customization until the third disc, bland OST,
    HORRID Battle system, uninteresting plot, it barely feels like a FF game anymore.

    I'm seriously struggling to keep on playing, the only good thing about the game
    are the graphics.

  • spiritmacardi

    I'm guessing since you hate Tidus' voice and think furries are creepy that you're not a fan of the Ratchet and Clank series either?

    Even though I enjoyed FF X, I still liked the review and I hope to see more. Many of your gripes do have merit, but I love this game so much that I even love its faults. As far as Blitzball though, I figured the players could breathe the water kind of like in The Abyss. Admittedly that doesn't negate the physics argument, but I figure that fun should come before probability.

  • http://twitter.com/Deimos1984ad Zak Mahmud

    Meg Ryan, Lol that's a good one…ha ha Tidus is such a pansy.

  • dragonfly82

    FFIX is a solid game even though it has a weird art design,
    for me it's up there with FFVI and FFVIII as the best of the series…..

  • MetalNick

    I'm going to have to disagree with you on the battle system thing.

    1.) It's very fast. Battles are much quicker in 13 than in previous FFs.
    2.) You aren't forced to micro-manage as much and it streamlines that battle process
    3.) Battles are actually fun and exciting. I have to mix up my strategy sometimes in order to stay alive.

    I think the plot is very interesting once you know what the hell is going on and I'm digging the soundtrack. Not the best game in the world but I am very impressed with it still and I keep playing it.

  • JALAPENOWAYNE

    Fuck him and his leather lederhosen, quote of the year. I've been looking forward to this since Final Fantasy 8 ended. My joy summed up in one word: Woohoo.

  • OnyxWeapon

    Can't wait 'til you get to the Ultimate Weapon minigames.

    - Blitzball dodging race on a chocobo, and getting a time of 0:00:00.
    - Playing blitzball leagues to get Wakka's ultimate weapon.
    - The butterfly hunt.
    - Monster catching… *gotta catch 'em all!*
    - Avoid getting struck by lightning 200 times in a row in the Thunder Plains.

    Goddamn, those were torture…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Joseph-Deibler/31806865 Daniel Joseph Deibler

    Yay!

  • MetalNick

    I'm guessing you'll do a review of X-2 at some point or maybe that game is so shitty you won't even dignify it with a review. I never played it but it looked like ass.

  • tiein

    Bout damn time!

  • Gauphastus

    Oh my god. What a pleasant surprise.
    I look forward to more, sir. :D

  • dragonfly82

    I would've prefered a classic battle system instead of what we got,
    but that's just me, and the music is just not the same without Nobuo Uematsu.

    I could forgive the linear levels/no world map/no towns if it had a good battle system,
    as for the story I just gotta keep playing some more, I heard it pick ups in later chapters…

    PS: Hope is th worst character in the game.

  • Waciba

    I'm kind of new to Final Fantasy only playing a few in the series, but so far I have found the game to wonderfully enjoyable. I guess it's just personal preference when it comes to the story (which I actually am really intrigued in), but the battle system, while much different from other FF's, is incredibly hectic and fast paced and requires you to absolutely master every single one of your characters. It took me awhile to get the story straight considering your thrown into a mess of exposition, but once you understand what's going on and know what makes the characters tick it really does make you care for them.

    Sorry to rant, and I'm sorry you're not having a great time playing it.

  • http://bwmedia.wordpress.com/ ShadowWing Tronix

    Another Final Fantasy review series. This probably won't end well. (For Spoony. For us it will be hilarious. :D )

    I wonder, though, is it possible that the reason Tidus is such a wussy is because of the way his dad treated him? Tough love doesn't work on everybody.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rjbates Robert Jeffery M Bates

    Spoony by far my favorite review you have ever done was the final fantasy 8 review. I think that FFX is by far my favorite I look forward to seeing you review of X.

  • MetalNick

    I'm a patient gamer so the slow-pace isn't really a problem for me. I know that there is some great stuff coming so I can definitely run around and get into battles. I'm around 8 to 9 hours in and the battle system is still fresh to me. I like how this game took some notes from FFX and made a similar leveling-up system. I guess it's all personal preference, but I think the game is excellent.

    PS: Hope is my least favorite at the moment but I foresee his character becoming less annoying as the story goes on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lawrence-Cicchetti/100000525828026 Lawrence Cicchetti

    Tidus to Jecht during dream sequence:
    “I hate you!”

    in respose, Rikku to TIdus:
    “That's the spirit!”

    best quote ever

  • johnnyfog

    Nice Wakka impression, Spoony. =P

    This is shaping up to be as good as the VIII vids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Patrick-MacIntyre/726213185 Justin Patrick MacIntyre

    I absolutely loved X spoony, you dissapoint me! But you have to rag on this to please your fans I suppose. And oh god wakka sucks, but generally this game made me happy and is still in my top 5 favorites. You should beat 9 by the way, it's everything you want out of an FF game.

  • chaoticevl

    while x-2 was bad, it's combat was kinda fun, story blew though.

  • HypnoticGenes

    Oh Spoony, if you wanna talk about objectifying Rikku, just do a search for “Final Fellatio X-2″.

  • Adell

    Yes! I was SO hoping you would do this. Unlike 8, I actually liked this game but some how that's just making it all the funnier for me.

    • Anonymous

      yea, thats why i loved the 8 vids so much, because i loved that game lol.

  • 狐・小百合

    Haaaaahaaa,

    I'm something like Anti-Spoony for being a gender neutral fan of obscure Anime that contains characters with light animal features- But I really, really, really hate Tidus too. I also hated Final Fantasy 8 and the first thing that came to my mind when I saw his older FF8 reviews is “Finally, someone sane!!”. I still liked FF10 a little and loved FF9, but the whole people being able to move fast and breathe underwater in that game has always bothered me too. Especially later when you get people on your team who still wear temple robes during a Blitzball game! What makes this even funnier is that Auron was one of the characters I actually liked too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Thomas-Kilby/100000802683694 Thomas Kilby

    OMG I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Excellent start to the review, can't wait to see the rest of them

  • ScutigeraColeoptrata

    While I enjoyed playing through Final Fantasy X (great combat system, music, monster design, and I must confess that the story did get to me at the end), I must agree with pretty much all of your criticisms so far. I don't loathe Tidus the way some people do, but wow is Blitzball stupid. The ridiculous outfits in the recent Final Fantasy games also get to me after a while, and you are quite right about the creepy objectification of underage girls that is so common in a lot of anime/video games.

    I look forward to seeing more of this review!

  • warxepb

    Here I was expecting a one-and-done review of FFXIII, but what we got was… X times better. (YEAHHHHHHHHHHH)

  • whatislove

    YESSSSSSSSSS FINALLLYYYYYY, One of your funniest reviews imo Spoony!

  • allyse

    Great Kefka cosplay I love ff6!

  • whatislove

    YESSS FINALLYYYYYYY, one of your funniest reviews imo Spoony!

  • ThomasMink

    Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa… mentioning furries in the same sentence as anime is an insult. This might surprise a lot of people, even other furries, but I can't stand anime.. at all.

    That said, awesome stuff here.. lol.

    And props on including that Hudson Hawk song.. Swingin' On A Star or whatever, haha.

    • Spirit Macardi

      I think a lot of people lump the two together because of anime catgirls. They don’t get that they’re humans being given animal characteristics, not animals being given human characteristics.

      • Anonymous

        My comment was done in a, uhh.. ‘half jest’.. kind of way more than anything really. I fully understand why most people would lump the two together.. since a lot of anime has a token ‘furry’ as either a secondary or background character. Sometimes they even get main roles. Catboys and girls, I’m sure, just help to confuse everyone.

        But yea.. I know anime fans who like furry characters but don’t consider themselves furry. I also know furries, like myself, who dislike anime. :)

      • Anonymous

        My comment was done in a, uhh.. ‘half jest’.. kind of way more than anything really. I fully understand why most people would lump the two together.. since a lot of anime has a token ‘furry’ as either a secondary or background character. Sometimes they even get main roles. Catboys and girls, I’m sure, just help to confuse everyone.

        But yea.. I know anime fans who like furry characters but don’t consider themselves furry. I also know furries, like myself, who dislike anime. :)

  • llimar263

    Oh here we go again.

  • http://twitter.com/getintheVandell Vandell

    The first time I saw this game being played was the infamous “Laughing Scene”; my friend was playing it on his PS2.

    I never looked back.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raven-Rage/100000517990270 Raven Rage

    Dude you gotta make a sequel to this vid showing the rest of the game. this was freaking awesome I thought you would have like sped thru it in one vid. I loved all the other series but I mean you dont have to show every waking moment like in FF8 if you dont want to. Just breeze through it like you did here w/ this one.That way I wont have to get this game again, and beat it just so I can see the whole thing.

  • Gauntes

    While Tidus was annoying as squeak toy set on repeat, He was the first final fantasy with an actual personality. granted, it's a personality that makes you want to kill yourself, but you gotta start somewhere. (voice over was what probably helped achieve this feat). Look back and try to remember any final fantasy character that had slightest bit of personality. Cloud? I don't think so. The gel that he used to keep his hair up had more personality. Squall? Apparently getting a scar over your nose gives you brain tumor. While Tidus was annoying, he was an actual three dimensional character in terms of personality design. Though I still agree that the Blitzball was one of those things that makes you pull out your own hair.

    Good review overall

  • shmooglavoue

    While most of your points have merit, I disagree with the statement of X being worse than VIII. X has it's moments, and it's combat system completely trumps that of VIII.

    Also, I think Tidus' somewhat pathetic behavior could be attributed to the fact that neither of his parents really cared about him. In fact, nobody cared about him until Jecht disappeared, so there is a reason for his general incompetence. Which is more than you can say for Squall, who is just an emo prick for the sake of being an emo prick. That doesn't change the fact that Tidus isn't really an ideal protagonist, however.

    I do agree with the blitzball nonsense. You'd have to make a whole slew of “it's magic” excuses for that to make any kind of sense. Surely they could've made a sport that isn't so dependent upon suspension of disbelief.

  • suttondude

    YAY FOR CHASING AMY POSTER

  • excalibur01

    You finally started on the next step on your path to be the Final Fantasy guy. I can't wait for part 2 and really can't wait for when you tear X-2 to pieces in the near future.!

  • mrrubino

    An aurochs is a legendary Greek bull. Or it's what Angus beef comes from. I forget, but it's like a giant-ass bovine, either way.
    How does Tidus get potions by kicking a crate 75,000 times?
    Why is Kirsten Dunst singing Turning Japanese?

  • mrrubino

    Lots of assage there. He'll love/not love it.
    I liked the triumphant return of the class system, though.

  • johnnyfog

    That's right, but you're missing the point. Sin attacks large settlements, preventing Spira from modernizing. But there's a bigass metropolis full of high tech water soccer equipment, the kind of technology that supposedly GOADS Sin into attacking you.

    • Anonymous

      If you really paid attention to the game’s story, you would know that Sin does not target the most populated and technological cities, but has an ulterior motive that hicks like Wakka wouldn’t know in the first place. Yes you have to sit through 40 hours to find out what Sin really wants to do, but you can’t demand a story blab the spoiler ending to you in the first 15 minutes only to sit you through ritual for the next 40 hours.

  • demonist

    About the review :

    Great humor as always, great arguments too (loved the Blitzball as a weapon joke). But maybe i went on thinking too much for the rest of the review. I mean, is it just me or do i see the fact that The “original” / Lantern Spoony comitting suicide and leaving the “clone” in charge some sort of Farewell to Spoony's older video style ? (since he expressed he might try new stuff in a recent vlog after party Mania). Also, th ereferences were great, from your Phantasmagoria !!! “clone boy made of rat filth” to the fuse “ass” counter.

    All that to say, Great review, Glad to see you bash another FF

    @Gauntes :
    Well, most FF6 characters had distinct character traits and personality, from the guilt felt by Clyde/Shadow to Celes feeling toward Locke and the fact she would or wouldn't try to commit suicide according to Cid's Survival. And what about Cyan who you can litterally feel all his rage and hatred as Doma Castle gets poisonned, then how he litteraly gets depressed when he meets with Gau, then later impersonates a dead soldier so his girlfriend can keep hope for a brigther future ?
    And what about Gau, who even if he only has 3 word vocabulary, has a unique cut scene and backstory?

    Same goes for FF4 with the Spoony Bard Edward (i just HAD to plug it) and the love triangle with Rosa, Kain and Cecil. Or the vengeful Tellah.

    Let's say i just don't agree with Tidus being the “first fleshed out character with a personality”

  • Dreammirror

    looking forward to this FF10 review; its the only one I have any experience with, and looks funny as hell so far-keep em coming spoony! :)

  • http://twitter.com/DarkEvil87 Bobby Roy

    I actually didn't hate FFX as much as FFVIII, but it wasn't an excellent game. In fact, it had so many flaws. So I'm really happy to see your new series. I was expecting it, yet I'm surprised. It was hinted at, but it's one of those things I didn't really think you'd suffer through. You're the man Spoony!

  • Kirzan

    You just quoted 2 of the, if not THE, worst Final Fantasy main characters. Main Character rundown:

    FF1, my Knight had any personality I could imagine.
    FF2, sorry, never got hooked.
    FF3, same deal as FF1
    FF4, Cecil probably had the most personality… we could say he even has multiple personalities (Dark Knight/Paladin deal)
    FF5, beat me there, Bartz kinda sucked.
    FF6, no main character, but they all had distinct and explained backstories and personalities.
    FF7, where hell began and the list stops.

    I'd like to say FF13, but Lightning's an HD copy-paste of Cloud with tits and Squall's weapon.

  • KevinSutton

    That was epic entertainment. Sublime outrage. I don't know what my favorite part was.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Draconic Alexander Kannon

    Actually, and sorry for going all physics nerd on you, you can't make fire in space.
    Which makes your idea all the more awesome.

  • Necromas

    I'm a huge FFX fanboy and I still thought this was hilarious and well done. Don't let the whines of the other fanboys bug you.

    About blitzballs being used as weapons, you see, blitzballs have to be extremely heavy in order to keep their momentum for a decent period of time when being thrown underwater, so it's like clobbering your enemy with an extremely heavy bouncy bowling ball. But you say that makes the physics defying crap even more ridiculous whenever you see a blitzball being used in air? Well, that can be explained by the fact that all blitzball players are gifted in a special kind of 'natural magic' that is basically subconscious telekenesis (hey, superman has that power too!). Holding their breath a really long time is also 'natural magic' that basically lets their muscles and organs feed on mana when oxygen is scarce.

    'natural magic' is all around, it is not like the standard fireball magic which is also present in the FFX universe. It is kind of like ki or chi and is tied with your bodies physical conditioning, anyone trained for fighting relies on 'natural magic' whenever they perform combat feats that defy the laws of physics or require superhuman strength and toughness. Blitzball players just exceed in certain areas of natural magic.

    No, this is not some crazy justification I spent a bunch of time thinking about when I first played the game in order to help me suspend my disbelief, it's just some crap I made up right now.

    • Anonymous

      I thought of ball being accelerated by some internal engine or flubber like thingy and players just giving it it’s direction. But players must be just some mutants to be able to stay in water for so fucking long without proper equip, oh and those freakishly long jumps out of water.. they’re just freaks.

  • mwong04

    Spoony, don't fuck with Rikku. We love the cosplayers. Oh and we need more doctor insano

  • Gauntes

    yeah… I actually meant to say main characters but I guess I was being a bit unfair with the whole 'no personality' business

  • theshamster

    I have the Pal version of FFX. It has the addition of extra weapons and armour, plus it has the Dark-Aeons and Penance which are sent after you once you're labled as “traitors” (this does make sense as the Dark Aeons are acompanied by Summoners who are hell-bent on killing you for defecting from Yevon…Ugh! how I hate religious extremists!)

    Plus Omega Weapon had a update, his HP is now 999999.

    Its a shame the American version doesnt have them. They are quite alot of fun.

  • dalavita

    I played FFx with the original japanese voices because I can't stand dubs in anything, ever, and Tidus doesn't sound as annoying as the english one based on your video. And I don't recall some of the retarded dialogues from the undub version that you showed in this video, CRUSAWHAT!? being a prime example.

    Still, Tidus is a moron, no matter how you slice it, but all in all I liked the gameplay, pace and atmosphere of FFX, and I generally dislike the series. The review was hilarious tho, looking forward to more.

  • Anonymous

    Great review, Spoony, as always!

    Personally, I actually really like FFX, but I respect your opinion and you definitely have some good points. I also hate, absolutely HATE the retarded blitzball shit, but I just choose not to play it, since it’s mostly optional.

    As far as the characters goes, I see your point about Tidus, but he honestly doesn’t bother me that much. Now, the Rikku thing is definitely creepy. It’s been a while since I played FFX so I didn’t quite remember that it was established anywhere that she is 15 and I thought she was at least 19 or 20, but yeah, that’s definitely a bit creepy. When it comes to Wakka, I always kinda liked him. I mean, yes, his hair is ridiculous and using a ball as a weapon is moronic, but hey, it works and apart from how gullible and blinded by his faith he is (at least until he learns the truth), I find him to be a very likable character. Then there’s Auron, the coolest character in any final fantasy game in my opinion. He’s just so mysterious and bad-ass!

    Other than that, I also think that this game has probably the best battle system of any Final Fantasy game. It’s just so balanced and you get to take your time and really think about what your next move should be. That’s not to say that the other battle systems of the series doesn’t work, but this one is just excellent!

    Well, this post has gone on for way to long now, so I’ll just end by once again saying how great this review was and that I look forward to the continuation!

  • BlueMage

    Jesus motherfucking dick-slamming Christ bags. That was the funniest thing you've done in a long time. Ah… it seems like raggin' on Final Fantasy games really gets you going. I swear, please post the next installment soon.

    I'm just so happy to see a video like this. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the random bullshit and vlogs you do, but it's almost a huge event for you to put out a genuine full review of a game you despised. I had a lot of fun watching this and will probably re-watch it again, tomorrow.

  • SignNinja

    See heres the weird thing, I actually liked FFX. Yes, he was a moron and yes a lot of the jokes when translated into english seem all kinds of retarded, but all in all I liked Tidus because of these cheerful yet idiotic outbursts. Why, do you ask? Because he wasn't (all that) emo and whiny. Yes, he had his extremely whiny emo moments that made me want to slap him, but compared to Squall he's fucking Bozo the Clown. He's always cheering everyone up, trying to get everyone to stay optimistic. With Squall and Cloud and shit it's all “Oh it's hopeless” “Generic speech from love interest” “Oh ok, lets do it….angst angst emo angst.”
    With Tidus it's all “Well crap, what do we do.” “POPCORN BLITZBALL NURMY FOOT!!!” “Uh…..he's right?”

    In conclusion, I like him because of his moronic moments, that makes him kind of stick out in my mind, whether for good or ill shall remain a constant battle in my mind.

  • Solitair

    Loved it! I played this game years ago, and I never picked up on how… special Tidus is.

    Actually, this is probably one of the fundamental differences between you and me. Art design isn't really that big a factor. I've never been unable to play a game because I hate the art, unlike you. FF9 is actually one of my favorite games in the series. Zidane isn't really a furry (unlike Freya, but even she doesn't have the stereotypical furry behaviors), he just has a tail for… reasons that might not entirely make sense. And last I checked, Zidane wasn't a whiny bitch, though you may hate him for being too similar to the standard plucky shonen hero as exemplified by such characters as Naruto.

    Another clear difference is that I never played the old FF games as a child. I really dislike the first two games in the series because of their archaic gameplay mechanics, even after they were remade on the GBA. The SNES games, on the other hand, were fun for me. 4's story made up for its weaker gameplay, 5's gameplay made up for its weaker story, and 6 didn't need any makeup at all. That game's also one of my favorites.

    But I can't get into the mindset where you put those games on a pedestal. I kind of lean towards Yahtzee's anti-nostalgia position, though not to the zealous extent he takes it. 12 is probably the third of my favorites. Speaking of which, I thought you liked 12! What gives? And will you make up your mind on whether the Blaster Edge or Blitzball is a dumber weapon, please? :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/Treima Jimi Alexander

    NOT THE LAUGHING SCENE NOOOOOOO!!!

  • Solitair

    Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that 8 is one of the few games I haven't played. The others are 3 and possibly 11, which I put a few hours into before leaving for other MMOs, and judging by what I've heard about 11's endgame content (Absolute Virtue and Pandemonium Warden), that was a very wise decision.

    But eventually I will play 8, if only because I simply MUST know which side of the debate I belong on.

  • http://twitter.com/Eighteentoes Eighteentoes

    Hells yeah! Finally another Experiment- review!
    Not that I don't like your rambling Impact rants, but a real experiment review is so many times better than insanity- driven recaps… but then again perhaps I just missed the themesong ôo

    And wow- this episode is all kinds of awesome! Combining Insano, black lantern Spoony and your Final Fantasy hate into one review is an absolute win!

    Can you do a commentary and tell us why you think it was a cursed one? I'm always interested to hear technical difficulties from you, as your setup sometimes seems to piss you off on purpose…

    and btw: Didn't like Zaphod either. What did they not understand when Adams made Arthur demand to “bang your heads together, four eyes!” ? everything else I might've forgiven them about Zaphod- but a second head under the first one? Seriously? The whole movie was a giant fan service (as no one who didn't read the novels would get half the jokes *cough* belgium *cough* ) and they get the most striking aspect of the most important dude in the galaxy wrong? But well at least that's not as insulting as Trilian's character design in the BBC TV series…

  • KevinLionheart

    I was afraid I was going to have to do a satirical review of this game. You have no idea how happy you've made me!

    This is, without a doubt, my most hated game of all time. FF8 was bad, but I nerded out over the combat and the nice pretty pictures enough to not hate it. FF9 I felt the same way you did, never been able to get much further than a few hours in due to childish art design.

    FF10 makes me want to punch infants. Thank you for destroying it.

  • http://twitter.com/YigSnakeDaddy Paul K

    You should have that tennis-on-fire-in-a-cube-of-bees-floating-in-space idea of yours patented, there's untapped potential.

  • http://twitter.com/redviv Vivi Roth

    Eighteentoes…. You do know that Adams himself is responsible for design and story changes in the movie, right? There's major disblaming going on about that, commonly.

  • murderouscow

    You have made me cry, Oh Spoony One. Not out of joy or pants wetting fear (as is usually the case when it comes to you) but out of mind numbing depression. You've just made me realize how much f my life I wasted on THIS FUCKING GAME. I went back and checked my memory card just to see how much time I wasted, and it was 120 hours. One just one save. Out of at least six. I was a naive young lad…..

    THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS!

  • http://twitter.com/redviv Vivi Roth

    Grand review. Credit where credit was due. At least XII improved in the way that major illogic in the story was removed and the characters were not annoying as hell and the girls never that objectified. Bad thing is, most people felt indifferent to them. But the battle system and world were absolutely great.
    FFXIII is a major letdown. Whenever you go to review that in a few years, I'll accept any kind of bashing you can deliver.

  • Duffman180

    FF10 is my favorite FF game of all time but I can enjoy Spoony bashing it because he's Spoony and he's just so awesome.

    Oh and I may be the minority here but I actually liked Blitzball.

  • thehenryspock

    “Listen to my story…”

    NO FUCK YOU!!!!

    XD Big lolz.

  • Charles218

    Think of it this way: Those 120+ hours weren't in vain. If it weren't for them, you couldn't get the full enjoyment out of Spoony ripping the game to shreds.

  • JJFryer

    I second that minority – i like Blitzball, maybe be we shouldn't admit to that.
    (oh and FF7 is my favorite – cliche but whatever)

  • Charles218

    Yes! More Final Fantasy! Thank you Spoony!

    As for Final Fantasy IX: That one was the cream of the crap. Two thirds of the game I spent wondering whether the main bad guy who prances around in a metal thong and rides a silver dragon was a man or a woman.

  • NoTimeForThatCrap

    It's funny that you would pick this up and start reviewing FFX, now, of all times.

    First off, yes. I hated this game completely when it came out. This game is honestly an unholy piece of total shit. Easily worse… FAR worse than FF8 could have ever been.

    But I find it funny that you would review this game, for FF13's release, since from every review i've read (even the positive ones *spit*) and everything I've heard other people say about having played 13, is that it's got the exact same thing that this HORRIBLE goddamn FFX managed to fuck up beyond all repair.

    This linear, unimaginative, boring, annoying, pathetic assraping, worthless gameplay that is more than an afterthought.

    FFX wasn't that much of a game as much as it was an interactive movie. A really really terrible interactive movie with rock-stupid, annoying, pathetically unlikable, whiny, irritating retarded characters in a nonsensical, shitty, froofy little, bullshit plot with the retarded writing dial turned up to 11.

    FFX can basically be summed up as: Walk forward. Fight enemies. Walk forward. Fight more enemies. Walk forward. Get a shitty cutscene. Walk forward. Get a shitty cutscene. Walk forward. Fight a crappy boss. Walk forward. Get an item. Walk forward. get another shitty cutscene. Walk forward. Get more shitty cutscenes. Fall asleep. Wake up. Get more shitty cutscenes. Walk forward. More cutscenes. Boss. Walk. enemies. Walk. Cutscene. Walk. Cutscene. ect, ect, ect, repeat repeat repeat, get a stupid, lame, and completly shitty ending that shits all over your time and effort to insult your intelligence.

    And guess what? The funny thing about Final Fantasy 13 is that from every review i've seen, even the positive ones, it looks like the same assrapingly boring bullshit as X. The same linear, boring, pathetic, androgynous, lame pile of vomit. Everyone praises these games since 7 for their stories, which usually suck, the characters, which are always shit-annoying, with this linear, boring, irritating, and gratingly obnoxious waste of time shit that doesn't even feel like a video game, whatsoever.

    I loved classic Final Fantasy, because you actually had EXPLORATION, and CHARACTER ATTRIBUTE BUILDING, seamlessly melded with masterpiece stories and wonderful characters (especially FF6) that combined into an open ended gaming experience that felt like you were in control and that it was INTERESTING.

    Final Fantasy 6 was the pinnacle of everything the series could have ever achieved. It's been horrible, irredeemable crap ever since. Simply just bad games, with bad gameplay, bad stories, bad characters, and truly just wastes of time. There is no exploration, adventure, tension, fun or competent storytelling from FFX onwards, killing, and snuffing out every bit of quality that the Final Fantasy series could ever achieve. It's a dead, raped corpse of a franchise today.

    And the thing that's funny about FF13 is that it looks to be a perfectly glorious celebration of literally EVERYTHING that has made this series unbelivably suck for well over a decade plus more. And seems to be taking the completely linear approach that this spawn of hell game introduced in the FF series, forever killing it.

    FF7 was merely ok. FF8 fucking sucked. FF9 was merely ok. FFX was miserable, shit sucking garbage, FF11 was miserable, shit sucking garbage, FF12 was miserable, shit sucking garbage, and FF13 is a perfect mutated clusterfuck of all of the worst qualities from 7, 8, 10, and 12.

    That's why I really have to say, thank you, Spoonyman. Thank you for skewering this fucking garbage for the fucking garbage that it is. Seriously, man. I live for your Final Fantasy reviews. They are like living vicariously through you for every word that I, myself, would personally love to just shove down the throat of these dipshit post-FF7 idiot fanboys who worship godawful SHIT.

    This kind of review is why you are a personal hero to me. It's why I am such a big fan of you, today. I almost feel indebted to you for finally giving these assrapingly godawful Final Fantasy games the soul punching they rightfully deserve. It honestly makes me happy and almost seems to lift some of the hatred and bitterness towards this SHIT that has built up in me for even the years before your first FF8 video made me smile with admiration and satisfaction.

    Seeing you say the things I always wanted to say to these Final Fantasy fantards makes me smile. Keep doing god's work, Noah. You're the man.

  • Anonymous

    This is the game that made me swear off FF and most jRPG games. I consider myself lucky.

  • anonns

    lol he named the bitch meg ryan….game sucks end of story…its true…the more u ppl realize that your getting shafted at the checkout counter the better

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Hill/1495231329 Matthew Hill

    Wakka is either a Fozzie Bear fan or a member of the World Adult Kickball Association

  • palemilktea

    God, Spoony. I have been waiting for you to do this review for AGES. Since the moment you mentioned it in your review of FF8.

    BRILLIANT. You reduced me and my two roommates (all females btw) to utter tears. Excellent. Want more!!

  • dragonfly82

    HATE HATE HATE

    LMAO!!

    Kefka-Spoony was Epic…

  • NoTimeForThatCrap

    By the way…. What I mean by games like FF4 and FF6 actually havin expolration, gameplay, and character building elements with a wonderful story and why it's so much better than horrible games like X, is more like this:

    In the classic FF games, these things actually have value of interest, but made you feel like it was all more or less under your control, put you into the feeling of the story, allowed you to actually immerse yourself in the actual emotional quality of the story, while also having to carve your own path and do your own things. Not just side quests, but it made you feel like YOU were playing the game. Not like the game is playing YOU, like these new lame peices of shit.

    It's half because the older games let you control your destiny and gives you relevant things to do, explore, and travel (especially the travvling which is all but lost in the new games), aside from just the level grinding and side quests, and actually felt more integrated with the experence and the story, which made you WANT to care.

    These games post FF7 just feel like you're going through the motions with this lame-ass bullshit that the player doesn't care about, mostly because all the characters irritate, annoy, and are so poorly written, badly concieved, and woefully underdeveloped as little more than annoying, fucking little dumbshit nuisances, and it constantly is taking AWAY all the freedom you had and the INTEREST that would ever drive you to put up with the repetitious, linear shit it subjects you to suffer through.

    Even when the classic games were linear or driving you for the sake of the story, it still would let you decide when to go, where to go, how to do it, when to level, what to equip, which path to take, who to bring along, and all the thins that you'd expect to do when you're ROLE PLAYING in a ROLE PLAYING GAME, for the most part.

    Not this stupid shit, with characters, plots, and situations, that you can just TELL that the developers didn't give a shit about, nor did they give a shit if the player was even invested in any of the shit going on.

    It's just all about “oh, it's time to automatically place you here now,” or “oh, it;s time for character X to die so you can get some fucking 13 minute cutscene with forced emotion that's stripped away because you have no control over anything that happens.”

    it was bad in FF7, it was horribly bad and completely irritating when it would pop up, and obnoxiously gratingly stupidly poorly written in FF8, but in FFX, jesus christ. It never gives you the slightest FEELING that you're traveling anywhere on your own, or making any decisions rather than “left, or right”, when most of the time, the wrong way will just greet you with a dead-end 5 feet ahead that would make a 5-year old go “well, no fucking duh.”

    Not to mention that Tetsuya Nomura basically gangraped Final Fantasy with his homoerotic, insanely obnoxious japanesey, androgynous, yoai-fangirl, j-pop fashion trash bullshit, and NEVER LET GO. I hate Nomura. I hate Nomura with a passion for what he did to FF, and everyone else for lineairzing, dumbing down, and simplifying the gameplay into intelligence insulting horse feces. And don't even get me started on Kingdumb Hearts.

    Seriously. Final fantasy post-7 is one of the overall worst blights on a once proud franchise ever. It makes what Sonic Team did to Sonic after Sonic Adventure look positively great. And that's SAD.

  • Strelnikov

    On Blitzball: With normal people and normal water density, it fails utterly. However if the guys have gills and that stuff you think is water is actually some “water lite”….no that would still not work. The ball is too round and too light to move like it does under the water….nope. You're right Spoony, it's all complete bullshit.

    On the underaged girl: It isn't just in FF games; Marsgurl did an ep yesterday on this anime series Funimation bought where the antagonist is an ancient vampire woman in the body of a 9-year-old girl, a girl that is nearly naked half the time and acts “sexy” to attract victims. Funimation is editing the hell out of it to avoid trouble with the fuzz. The Japanese love of cute things is getting too pervy for America and I don't see why they can't make the half-naked girls ten years older for the American market, if just to keep the feds and the self-appointed morals police off gamers' backs.

    On the gun: Was that an airsoft Desert Eagle, or did my eyes deceive me? If it was, is it supposed to be the .357 cal or .50 cal version?

  • http://www.warbox.us/ Tuxlar

    Think you went a little overboard during the Jecht scene about bashing Tidus. :/

    Not that I don't agree, of course.

  • funkychunkydude

    FF10 was my favorite out of all of them, but I can accept most of the statements you make, and I think liking the game makes the review all the more enjoyable. As a big FF10 fan, I can say I'll be looking forward to your next parts.

  • http://twitter.com/Eighteentoes Eighteentoes

    I did know Adams made changes to the story and design (as he did for every version in which it was adapted, really) like redesigning the Vogon constructor-fleet- ships form ugly yellow bricks to something a little less eye- soreing… I know that he had at least parts of his screenplay written out before his unfortunate death and that the producers claim that every change was initiated by Adams himself.
    But well yeah, they can claim almost anything, really. Adams is not around anymore to contradict them. And I don't even care much about the changes of plot development and so forth as it at least feels like Adams could have given the inital plot-point ideas.

    But it feels highly unlikely to me that Adams would have changed Zaphod's anatomy, as he went with the two heads sitting alongside another design for TV Series, Book and Radio drama.
    I don't want to appear like a douche by insisting that the design change could never have come from Adams, but up until now i never have seen a single line stating that it was initiated by him. And a generic “everything was aproved by him” statement does not cut it for me when it comes to changing the appearance of a MAIN CHARACTER.

    If you have a more specific source about it please share it. It could help me get over this detail and embrace the film even more as the last thing (co)created by adams ever to be publicised.

  • Anonymous

    I literally squealed for joy when I saw this! Finally, my prayers have been answered. Tidus is so damn annoying, that three minute long rant you did pointing that out was completely justified. Also, will you ever talk about FFX-2? It was my first FF game. It drew me in with its all-girl team. I thought, wow, this is one of the only games where I’ll actually play as a girl! I was so excited…but you can imagine my disappointment. Also, there might be no one who agrees with me, but I didn’t think FF12 was so bad. I mean, it isn’t a perfect game, but I still enjoyed it. Well, anyways, thanks so much for subjecting yourself to more bad FF games! It’s very entertaining =D

  • meanmanturbo

    Leather Lederhosen, this is a message form the department of redundancy department!

  • Harsha018

    Hmm, the title was a bit misleading. Was expecting an FF13 review, but it looks like you're going ahead and bashing FFX, which I don't really mind.

    I was fully expecting you to edit in that whole laughing scene with Tidus and Yuna. Easily, the worst cutscene in any FF.

    The only real complaint I had about this game was the fact that you couldn't skip cutscenes, and Tidus was a very annoying character to sit through. Other than that though, I honestly didn't mind the boobs and the underage fanservice since its to be expected of Japanese games nowadays.

    At least you admitted that the battle system was pretty damn good, because its the damn truth. Much better than FFXII (which you might not agree with, but whatever).

    On the blitzball thing. I found that playing the actual mini-game itself was pretty damn hard, which is why I never found it appealing. Then again, I'm not really sure on whether or not I agree with you about the concept of blitzball being stupid. I think this hatred really correlates to a similar complaint that you made about Avatar. The fact that there were waterfalls coming out of a floating mountain.

    In both cases, they're impossible and not explained very well, yes. But where exactly are we going to draw the line between being acceptable and not being acceptable in a science fiction/fantasy story?

    I seem to recall you mentioning the fact that you read (watched?) Uzumaki and enjoyed it. Most of the events that happened in that manga were inexplicable(snails anyone?) and someone could easily call bullshit on pretty much anything that happened in that story, but people don't since for what its worth, its a pretty damn good horror manga.

    Also, I approve of the blatant Linkara advertisements since it'll probably piss off all your die-hard fans.

  • happydevil

    Is this part 1? Great video Spoony

  • http://twitter.com/poetsandrebels poetsandrebels

    Oh, lord. I was just about to do my homework when I saw this. Spoony is officially to blame for my failing grades. But who gives a damn about grades – this was hilarious!

    And geez, what is up with the clothes on these characters? It looks like they were made by blind people. Only one who looks fairly awesome is Auron.

    – Listen to my story…
    – NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR STORY! IT SUCKS!

  • Anonymous

    Ehehehe! YES!

    Actually, FFX is my absolute favourite Final Fantasy game… And I still agree with you about wanting to punch Tidus in the face for being such an infufferable moron. Hahahaha! That’s part of the charm.

    … Or, well, playing FFXII afterwards and meeting Vaan. That sure made me appreciate Tidus a whole lot more. Just you wait, hoo hoo~

    Though, I have to say, please lay off bashing androgyny. It’s odd and out of place and kind of pissed me off a little.

  • tehjrn

    Wow, I'm really surprised to see you reviewing FFX. I guess I thought you would never want to walk down that road again. I am really glad you did because this is absolutely amazing. You may think it odd, but I'm very happy to see you tearing this game a new whole. Why is that odd? Well, because I'm one of those people ( Pour unfortunate souls that we are ) that liked FFX, In fact, I've played it a few times. You may find it strange but that's just how it is. I think it's the fact that I like the game so much that it's awesome to hear about all the things that are really wrong with the game. I can't completely explain why I like it. It probably has something to do with the fact that it was the first Final Fantasy games I played ( Which is probably unfortunate). I also really enjoy the battle system, which you pointed out to my glee. And also, it's quite entertaining to kill things with Auron. But I have gone back since then to play the old school games and see what a good one looks like.

    I guess I just wanted tell you how much I appreciated your look at the game. While I really did like the game, I am by no means a fan boy. And even if I was, I would hope I wasn't the only one mature enough to have his own opinion about the game. whether or not I agree with you, It is still always a pleasure to see you tear into a game. Even if it's one I like. So, as always, keep up the great work. This was great and I can't wait to see more.

  • Duke of New York A#1

    Hahahahaha! Meg Ryan hair. That's great!

  • imppulse

    Three people on SA LP'd FFX, resulted in a high amount of response from the LP community there, producing witty songs and such like. LP has been archived here: http://www.letsplayarchive.com/ There's a link to the original forum thread, but the bulk of the fanmade content is listed on the archive page anywho.

  • rocketranger

    1. Yes many people hate FF8 so much to bleed their hatred into FF9.
    2. Did you play through FF9 eventually? I can't tell if you didn't when you sound as if FF9 redeemed itself on other merits.
    3. “whiny pansy-ass” when Zidane is shown? Yes he looks like a girl, but Zidane wasn't whiny or pansy-ass.
    4, Yes the holo-tree looks dumb now, but that entire pan of the camera is a waste of time, period. It was just an attempt to tack on color and movement in a boring shot.
    5. Yes the premise of Blitzball makes it Bullzhitball. Anyone who tries to explain away the floating water, ball movement, and super-breath is a fool.
    6. “Most of Final Fantasy 10 revolves around the fucking game.” I think you're overdoing it here. Tidus is a professional blitzball player (let's just ignore the part about a sissy being an athlete for a moment), and Spira just so happens to be a world that loves blitzball like the real world loves football. Complaining there's too much blitzball (there's only 1 mandatory game, and it stops being a conversation piece after that mandatory game) in this game is like complaining Rocky has too much boxing. Blitzball is just part of the backdrop for the story just like boxing is part of the backdrop for Rocky's story. Yes blitzball is an over-the-top concept, but it's a legitimate game available to the player. It can't be worse than Triple Triad, can it?
    7. Rikku is 18 in FFX-2. Doesn't change the fact Japan is still a nation of pedophiles.
    8. Wakka is the hero to all has-been deadbeat jobless layabouts. I just love how despite being an arrogant, bigoted asshole, he's still freakishly powerful and knocks up the boob mage. He's Bender-level of absurd. Yep, John DiMaggio. I like how you concluded he was one of the strongest fighters in the game, because it means you used him so often despite how annoyed you are with him!

  • RdMarquis

    I've spent the past the past couple of years watching the videos on this site, so I thought I'd finally comment.

    I found this review hilarious, especially the strange parallels between Dr. Insano and the Al Bhed. Good to see that you're starting a new series of videos. I definitely agree with you on Tidus. His photo should be in the dictionary, next to the word “Twerp”.

    I don't know what they did right with the old games, but I remember (as a Junior high student) playing FF4 on an emulator that somehow couldn't save for hours on end, just to see how far I could get.

    Still, I did play this game through to the end, curious about how they were going to kill a giant monster that keeps coming back to life (and on the off-chance that the story would crush Tidus's enthusiasm).

    Awesome Kefka costume, by the way. And to be honest, That idea about burning bee tennis in space sounds more awesome than absurd.

  • Anonymous

    This was awesome XD i haven laughed that hard in a while XD like the part where you say Wakka rapes Tidus just cracked me up completely XD haha keep em coming spoony!

  • AtlasRedux

    I really enjoyed Final Fantasy X myself, specially in glorious HD on my computer instead of the crappy PS2-graphics, but I do agree …
    1. Blitzball was annoying as shit, but you never really need to play it. Which I never did.
    2. Tidus was an annoying pussy.
    3. Auron was awesome.
    And in the US, you didn't have Dark Aeons, which basically made the game without a single challenge, except for retards.
    But living in Norway, we luckily had more content instead of the retarded “low-IQ and way to easy” version.
    Advanced Sphere-Grid and Dark Aeons ftw.

  • http://twitter.com/kmag1up Krista Magliari

    YAY! Another FF reveiw! I was hoping you would put another one up, your reviews gets my two year old to sleep at night! But I'm biased because this is one of my favorite ones so NOM ON YOUR SKULL!

  • AtlasRedux

    Well, honestly ( repying, since the stupid comment-system fails at editing ) :
    The Dark Aeons are more or less about having patience to fill the empty spaces in your sphere grid and grind a lot ;)
    But it's more content and OPTIONAL. And I thought it was fun trying to kill the Dark Aeons being waaay under-stat.
    Also, the Internation version with the Expert Sphere Grid made you able to customize your characters quite differently early on in the game.

  • Mikeru

    Hell yeah, i hoped you review FF10.

    I am honest, I played FF10 really long and excesive and till today I do not know why. I thought the sphere System was kinda cool and the cutscenes were really awesome. Also it was one of my first PS2 games, so I thought the Graphic was really really good, so I assume I overlooked the weak/stupid storyline and Characters that should be shot.

    Cannot wait for the next parts.

  • david86

    “that's our hero foks. too stupid to eat” lmao

    i really liked FFX. the GF's in particular were awesome (anima, yojimbo). it's one of the only final fantasies that i could be bothered to complete

  • Michael_G

    I suppose i can understand americans not liking the game seeing as their version didnt have the dark aeons, which added at least another 50 hours to the game for me (grinding).

    Great review, i squeeled like a little girl when i saw the video, cant wait for more.

  • Anonymous

    You might not like this, Spoony, (because I certainly disagree too), but back in 2005 the readers of Famitsu, Japan’s number one gaming magazine, were asked to vote for what game they thought was the best ever. Apparently the Japanese think that Final Fantasy X is that game. Huh.

    http://archive.videogamesdaily.com/news/200603/020.asp

  • Anonymous

    You might not like this, Spoony, (because I certainly disagree too), but back in 2005 the readers of Famitsu, Japan’s number one gaming magazine, were asked to vote for what game they thought was the best ever. Apparently the Japanese think that Final Fantasy X is that game. Huh.

    http://archive.videogamesdaily.com/news/200603/020.asp

  • Anonymous

    My Lord, Spoony! I am with you all the way on this one. When you destroyed FF VIII I might’ve questioned your judgement, but this unholy piece of shit that is FF X fully deserves what it gets, and even more. Although, I do not recommend reviewing X-2 because nothing can save you from the inevitable insanity of this one.

  • Anonymous

    My Lord, Spoony! I am with you all the way on this one. When you destroyed FF VIII I might’ve questioned your judgement, but this unholy piece of shit that is FF X fully deserves what it gets, and even more. Although, I do not recommend reviewing X-2 because nothing can save you from the inevitable insanity of this one.

  • Hubbe128

    YOU DID NOT JUST MAKE FUN OF JAMES ARNOLD TAYLOR, DID YOU?!?

    You will die, and then burn in whatever circle of hell that kind of people go to!

    (But he does do a rather WTF-sounding voice for Tidus… damn you J.A.T.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Niggow-Wiggow/100000461234366 Niggow Wiggow

    I only remember two things about FFX:

    1. If you wanted all your characters to become stronger and pull some exp out of a battle you had to scientifically keep the battle running and pull everyone of them into combat once to perform something completely meaningless and then you could finally kill the damn beast off.
    2. I fell asleep ( no kidding -.- ) while one of the _massively_ interesting 20 minute long “let's talk smack” videos on the flying ship thingy …. after I woke up with a controller in my hand and Meg facing the wall 2-3 hours later I never touched this game again.

    You can say whatever you want about advancement in technology and full audio voice over, BUT at least you had to push the button and read for yourself in the earlier games which has kept you awake instead of idle listening to one of the stupidest stories of mankind.

  • mikkolaurinen

    *eyes light up and sparkle with joy* You'll do the whole thing? PLEEEAAAZE? lol I'd love to see that and the sequel too. For whatever reason, despite their flaws, I have a lot more interest in 'em than I ever did 8 not to mention (blah) 12.

  • Anonymous

    lol at Tidus being manly xP

  • Anonymous

    lol at Tidus being manly xP

  • Kaylakaze

    You're REALLY gonna hate FF13, especially Hope.

  • MFlorian

    Well, if you dislike Tidus that much, there's always Kingdom Hearts. You get to smack the little bastard with a wooden sword as many times as you'd like and get XP for it.

  • Anonymous

    ahhhh the insanity I can finally fill my belly with it

  • Anonymous

    ahhhh the insanity I can finally fill my belly with it

  • Anonymous

    Ahhhhh I can finally fil my belly with your insanity and this makes me feel so good

  • Anonymous

    Ahhhhh I can finally fil my belly with your insanity and this makes me feel so good

  • Ashenge

    A nation of pedophiles? Dude. The age of consent is 13. It's all a matter of how a culture develops. And their crime rate is actually pretty low comparatively.

  • dennett316

    He said in the review he tried twice to play iit and couldn't make it past hour 2 either time.

  • dennett316

    Well, it says “To be continued…” at the end, soooooooo…….yeah!

  • dennett316

    Hee hee….gun geek.

    • Anonymous

      No, I thought it was a riff on the fact that a couple of the people who appear on That Guy With The Glasses use prop guns as a joke: Linkara’s magic flintlock, the Nostalgia Critic’s Beretta [?] (he waves the gun around so fast I can’t tell what the hell it is, but it is an automatic)….I thought the gun possibly being an (Israeli-made) Desert Eagle was a slight reference to Spoony being Jewish, but for all I know its his brother’s.

      Better to know about real weapons then buster swords, gun blades, batleths, phasers, or lightsabres; with a country this gun crazy, you might run into the Colts, Smith & Wessons, Berettas, Ruglers, Kalashnikovs, Walthers, and IMI Desert Eagles…..and all in unfriendly hands.

  • AlphaLackey

    Only because you like to nitpick so much, there is no such thing as an “auroch”. “aurochs” is the singular, it's similar to “ox”, the plural is actually “aurochsen”, but “aurochs” is also used.

    Loved the review!

    • Anonymous

      So in addition to the name of Besaid’s blitzball team being based off of an obscure, extinct animal that doesn’t even exist in Spira, it’s also grammatically incorrect? I love that.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah.. I don’t know any animal that’s used in the singular for the name of a sports team. Unless you count the Florida Marlins’ semi-official nickname of “The Fish”. Next Monday Night on ABC, the Cincinnati Bengal takes on the Carolina Panther! Although, the “Besaid Proto-Ox” [the rough modern English equivalent of 'aurochs'] would make for one hell of a blitzball throwback jersey :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/tyrmcdohl Adam Nelson

    I'm sort of surprised that you didn't draw the line of Wakka = Joe DiMaggio = Bender from Futurama. Eh, still. Good review. BLACK LANTERN SPOONY WILL RETURN…?

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    If you think the post-FF7 (a.k.a. the ones not headed by creator Hironobu Sakaguchi) games were bad, I'd love to hear your opinions on the Xenosaga series

    • Anonymous

      Whoa. That would be inSANEly awesome. Bring on Xenosaga! So much pain, so many robo boobs…

  • Anonymous

    Auroch. precursor to teh domestic cow.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurochs

  • Anonymous

    Auroch. precursor to teh domestic cow.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurochs

  • http://www.facebook.com/jake.is.the.coolest.cool Jake Osborne

    On the whole 15 year old girl thing; you have to remember that the age of consent in Japan is 13, and over here in the UK (and most of Europe) Its 16, which still makes 15 illegal but its sorta a jailbait situation if they look a year older. Cultural differences mean alot.

    HOWEVER! That doesn't change the fact that there are a large number of people internationally that get off on CG characters drawn in the anime art style (if you actually saw a person with the same face shape as any of these girls it would be beyond weird… bit like the original playstation adverts actually)

  • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

    You had me at fire, and lost me at bees! And I'd be happy to help, you just can't seem to get around to conversing with old friends =p.

  • AtlasRedux

    … I bet my ass Spoony will comment on the Dark Aeons thing though … I foresee :
    “And for you whiny bitches out there saying I missed out on the Eeeeeexpert Sphere Grid and Dark Aeons … MMORPG's sucks for its grinding and now you want that in a SINGLEPLAYER game? Jeeez.
    And don't get me STARTED on the Eeeeeexpert Sphere Grid that in the end makes the same difference as in the Northern US Sphere Grid … NOTHING! At the end of the game, everyone knows everything so classes just don't exist anymore.”
    NostrAtlasReduxus out.

    • Anonymous

      Not exactly true. Yuna is still the only character who can summon Aeons, and at the end of the game, she was the only character I really needed. The Magus Sisters could effortlessly dominate anything I fought.

      • Anonymous

        True that, but the Aeons are worthless against Dark Aeons.
        Only Aeon that can kill another Dark Aeon is Yojimbo or heavily stats on characters ( pref. 255 in every single stat on Dark Yojimbo, ’cause he’s a BITCH )

  • Anonymous

    what if it isn’t water? it could be some incredible magical liquid or something, tough blitzball is still shit playing it is painful

  • Anonymous

    what if it isn’t water? it could be some incredible magical liquid or something, tough blitzball is still shit playing it is painful

  • godofplague

    I never paid attention to the ages in anime or FF I just figure they are all adults in thier 20's or so and it makes it more enjoyable

  • CalebTheTimeTraveler

    You know, I enjoyed this game. Not to say it doesn't have its faults, or that it's good, but I enjoyed its style, its gameplay, and its story. Characters? Yes. Most of them at least. Tidus was hated by everyone, including me. The ladies too. If they weren't stupid, they were made for Fan-service, or both. Yeah, I think that kind of only leave the other three, Auron, Wakka, and Kimarhi. Sad thing is, I only like them because they weren't developed, or at least fully. Auron is typical Boba Fett Bad ass, who I should hate, but ends up saying nothing and being near inconsiquntial to the story, thus having a reason to be silent through most of it, and then having a good enough reason for being such a badass. Kimarhi is the worlds most awesome furry, being voiced by Bender, and being able to be the copy of any other team member(I chose the Black Magic Copy because I really didn't want to use Lulu) and because of this, and his being silent through 60% of the game, he fades into the back where he is hanging and having drinks with Auron. And then there is the other guy being voiced by Bender, Wakka, who is tolerable at worst for me, and a cool best friend at best, if only because of him being voiced by Bender, and that by comparison to Tidus, he is at Freddie Mercury Masculine standards, who is by Japan standards Burt Reynolds Masculine. The villains are good too, because most don't speak. Seymour is even less of a pain than one would expect, and I know Spoony is gonna rip him hard, but I think he is the perfect Anti-thesis to Sephiroth, being practically a Purple version of him, but being an even worse human being, and yet being seen as a Pansy and virtually hated for being like him by fans and not fans of Sephiroth. Very few people I know like him as a Character, and in a somewhat contrarian act, I like him because of this, but not only that. He's also a mentally damaged villain and rarely do those pop up in games like this, villains usully are just evil for the sake of it, rather than having a problem telling good and bad apart, of course, he's not the main focus of the story, rather, it's Sin, who is… well ze is, an eldritch abomination that is evil because!….. the story said so. Yeah, on second though, the story sucks. The characters are either Fan Service, or half developed bad-asses who barely pass, and the one good villain is practically a clone of the other famous Villain who has the same damn mommy issues, and it's big bad is a goddamn space flea from out of fucking nowhere.
    Oh course, X-2, is just worse on every level…. EVERY GODAMN LEVEL!

  • SethTheXenocide

    Final Fantasy IX is my favorite in the series. I can see Spoony hating the artwork, it's almost children's story book-esque, but the game itself is a real treat.

    As far as X goes, I like every other person in the world played it and beat it, but I had all the problems Spoony had with it. I hated Tidus with a passion. Oh, and Kimahri was fucking useless. USELESS.

  • dragonfly82

    If you thought Tidus was whiny just wait until you play FFXIII and meet Hope….

  • JALAPENOWAYNE

    A perfect quote for Titus' father would be from Smoky and the Bandit said by Sheriff Buford Justice to his retarded son.
    “When I get home I'm gonna punch yo mama in the mouth, there is no way, no way you can be the fruit of my loins.”

  • VenomSpawn

    The stuff with Riku is pretty weird, especially when you see 12-14 year old girls cosplaying it at conventions. “Topless” picture of her isn't too uncommon for stuff like that, unless none of the other characters were drawn like that, but I seem to recall that they were.

    The Dr. Insano bit was hilarious, I was laughing my ass off.

    I too claimed hatred for FFX, but mostly as a hindsight thing, recently I would bash it as being bad, but watching this review brought back some pretty nice memories of the game. The plot is stupid, but I still get a nostalgic feeling from it.

  • EvilBloodGnome

    Tipping Forties did a LP of FFX, usually while knocking back a few brews. It's a goldmine of awesome. Find it here: http://www.tippingforties.com/project.aspx?key=11

    They actually live out in Arizona, might be worth looking into. And would throw them one helluva bone xD

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512899240 Timothy James D. Ferguson

    BY FAR one of the best reviews in awhile, you really know how to pace your picking apart of the Final Fantasy series. In all honesty, I wasn't a massive fan of stuffing so much of FF8 into its last review. I loved the SWAT4 and Phantasmagoria, but I always love moving on to new series. The brief review of FF9 was good too, sadly I actually bothered to finish FF9 holding the idea of a traditional final fantasy dear but FF9 is anything but traditional as it continues to adapt some of the ridiculous traits later on. Looking forward to more FF10 on your way to FF13, but I'd love to see more reviews of why you think the older games are so good as well, kind of like your flashback sequence in your FF8 review.

    You rock Spoony!

  • MD_ShadowKnight

    Ya, the expert sphere grid was a really great addition, dark aeons were just a chore for completionists.

  • mhayes86

    I too, fall under the pandemic of being a long time Final Fantasy fan, and therefore see it as an obligation to buy/play EVERY installment with the brand and number slapped on, even if it sucked. I've enjoyed every Final Fantasy, and the only ones that I have had to put down and literally said to myself that I did not like it were FFX-2 and FFXII. I'm currently playing FFXIII, and aside from the game being a straight line for the majority of it and nearly throwing away much of the classic FF feel, I'm enjoying it thoroughly.

    Along with FFIV and FFVI, FFIX was one of my favorites, and I even enjoyed FFVIII more than FFVII. Sure, drawing got tedius, but it allowed for you to really power up your characters through the junction mechanic at early levels and on, and the game was interesting enough to me from the start while FFVII took nearly ten hours to get semi-interesting, but I digress.

    Tidus and Wakka were the absolute worst parts about FFX to me, as well as blitzball, but that may be due to the fact that I absolutely sucked at it and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to play it properly. You showed a clip of Tidus sissy slapping the enemies, but you didn't show the part where he couldn't even lift the sword Auron gave to him. Tidus was an embarrassing main character, but he managed to get slightly less annoying further in the game. Other than that, I enjoyed everything else about the game, especially the character customization due to the sphere grid. FFXIII has a similar way of leveling characters, but it's rather linear and offers very little customization, but I'm still enjoying the game very much.

    Anyway, what was the deal with ranting about the holograph pole and the blitzball arena in the beginning of the game? Over analyzing something as ridiculous as that is a sure way of ruining any form of experience, especially as a fantasy/sci-fi lover. It appears like you intentionally think of reasons to hate something. I can't wait to see a FFXIII review to see what you rant about, if you intend on making one eventually.

  • traceace

    This game is one of the first games I've played where I nearly threw my controller at the screen. Now all I can think of when I see footage is that fucking lightning mini-game.

    I hope you go into those mini-games, Spoony. I know they were all optional, but ffs, whoever thought most of those were a good idea should be SHOT.

    • Anonymous

      Ohhh CHRIST now I remember the Lightning Fields. D:

  • http://www.facebook.com/shammarkarlsson Stefan Hammar Karlsson

    Really awesome, and I can´t wait for the next part! I played FFX back in the day, but strangely enough I can´t remember anything about it except for my disgust for Wakka and Tidus.

  • mondomolesto

    Great review, keep them coming. This was the game that completely killed final fantasy for me. 7 was alright….8 was horrible….but X was the last straw.

    Well….actually i vowed never to buy another final fantasy game after X, but after the commercials for X-2 with yuna jumping around with that ungodly pop song…thats when i vowed to kill anyone i see playing a final fantasy game. Oddly enough…havent seen anyone play one since then.

  • shinea_iggy

    uh, i couldn't stand this game….i actually enjoyed FFX-2 more than this game. Characters like Tidus makes me want to punch myself in the face over and over…and over… I remember watching my brother play blitzball for hours on end. SO BORING! Awesome review though! :)

  • A Slime

    No offense, but that five-minute skit at the beginning was pushing it.

    The review itself was spot on, though.

  • RaiderRich2001

    Oh Lord. Say the safe word if it gets too much Spoony.

  • thedickster

    After “too much wrestling” you have redeemed yourself, sir! spot on! and all that rot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/wizardofxenia Andrew Michael Brown

    Smoke salvia and you'll see how they came up with this game.

  • thematataunit

    Ive heard your cry for help Spoony and ive sent the best ppl to help you………well almost……..okey i just wanted attention, your screwed. Njoy Finaly Fantasy 11 – 142 and hopefuly you will have a son to reveiw the rest.

  • midnightvoyager

    I feel your pain on being unable to stand something because of the art, Spoony. I see so many people orgasming over One Piece at Scans_Daily and I can't even give it a chance because the art design hurts my eyes and my soul.

  • http://www.facebook.com/logan.mcknight Logan McKnight

    At 14 minutes in I suddenly realize the monkey island theme is in the background, always makes my day brighter thinking of old guybrush and insult swordfighting. Cheers Spoony

  • AtlasRedux

    Oooooh, cool, thx for that link! I didn't know about that one :)
    Aaah, many hours of fun incoming! I watched the first 15 min and this seems promising.

  • PhoCarrot

    Oh hell yes! I've been hoping you'd do FFX.
    This was the only Final Fantasy game I tried to play and I never could finish it. I think Seymour was the straw that broke the camel's back. That voice… ugh…

  • Solstafir

    Was that your Ric Flair impression at around 5:35?
    Anyways… totally looking forward to more.

  • draxo

    Goddamn I love you right now Spoony.

    This is the greatest thing since.. your FFVIII review! I'm eagerly waiting for more.

    You gave me a really good laugh that I needed due to lots of RL stress, thanks man.

  • Poipoi

    I know what its like to dislike a game/movie that alot of people seem to love.

    I had trouble liking Final fantasy 6. My problem isn't the story, how it plays, or even the fact there are so many characters to unlock ( which I did enjoy). My problem is Terra Branford. I just found her so damn whiny and far too many times do we have to chase after her ass. She ruined the game for me! I was reminded how whiny she is when I played Dissidia.

    I also disliked the Espers. They are suppose to have some power to them, right? Yet, most scene with them resembles Duck Hunt. Espers all over the place being shot down. I admit I didn't like Kefka at first because him being dressed like a clown. I admit, he grew on it.

    I will say, I did play this game all the way through at least once. I also acquired every unlockable characters in it. Even worked to keeping Cid alive. Trust me, I found Cid more tolerable then Terra. The rest of the characters I really like. Would I ever play this game again? NO.

  • Macheto

    Hell yeah! good work spooy,iam looking forward to see more FFX reviews!

    btw: your chassing amy poster is awesome i just ordered one for myself :)

  • FFreak

    So Pirates of the Caribbean came out in 2003 where as FFX came out in 2001. Now I know the rid has been around longer but the Captain Jack Sparrow thats like Jecht is from the movies.

  • Animite

    Yes, faster Spoony. Kill, kill! Show no mercy, Be utterly ruthless in your quest to level the Final Fantasy X back into the eccentric not to mention demented Japanese brains that conceived it. You must travel deep into the heart of Tokyo and cast it back into the fires of Square Enix headquarters from whence it came.

    To gain victory, you must recite the holy mantra of the robot from “Lost In Space” over and over again. “DESTROY! DESTROY!” Only then can you brave the hardship that lies ahead. Only then shall you break your enemy as river water breaks before the might of stone. Do this and the enemy shall be yours.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SuperSunshine21 ダール ダニエル

    Yes! Will be enjoying this one, thank you Spoony! You are the greatest!

  • jaysong56

    I accually liked Final Fantasy 10. I hated it at first but it kind of grew on me. I despise final fantasy 8. But needless to say I do not think its one of the best final fantasys. And I will probably agree with most of the negative things spoony says. I already totally agree with the positives that spoony mentioned. Combat is solid , graphics are decent , and the music is great.

    But its nothing compared to final fantasy 7 or 6(Named part three here.) If anything I think final fantasy 10 paved the way for future final fantasy games. While some of the things it paved the way for rocked. Many annoying aspects still linger on from 10. The only thing in the game I am not sure if I like or hate is the sphere grid. I like it and hate it.

    Final Fantasy 13 which I am only just getting to the better parts of the game is much better then I thought it would be. I am impressed with final fantasy 13.

  • sukid

    FUCK YEAH. Not only a new proper episode, and not only a game review, but a Final Fantasy X review. Oh man, I enjoyed the hell out of this. I've actually never played a single Final Fantasy game in my life, but it's just great to see you reviewing it.

  • sukid

    Well, actually, I am playing Crystal Chronicles at the moment. One nice thing about that is since all the characters are basically created by you you don't have to deal with whiny bitches.

  • inkautomaton

    This has made my day. F— yeah, Final Fantasy X sucks!

    Recently I've heard from various people that FFX was their favorite. We didn't have an all out discussion, but I just bashed it by saying that I didn't like it/it sucked and they just said “well, it's my favorite” and that was that.

    Sure, you can like Final Fantasy X if that's your thing, but it's total crap.

  • Ithilgore

    I haven't even watched the video yet, but the only thought that came to my mind was “uh oh!”. More legions of FF fans will be disgusted, no doubt.

    Meanwhile I expect hilarity to ensue.

  • AeonAnomaly

    Tidus is one of the manliest Final Fantasy Characters out of all the FFs and has probably some of the most character development out of any of them. Yes he's a whiny little punk in the beginning of the game. But by the end of it, he makes one of the hardest choices I think any FF character has ever had to make. I warn you know, spoilers are ahead. If you don't want to read them, well then why did you watch the video to begin with?

    In the world of Spira, there is an after life. You die, you get sent to the Farplane where you exist as energy. Or something. Either way, the point is, there is an after life. Everyone in Spira knows this and awaits their time to go.

    Not Tidus. See, he's a dream made manifest. That's right, a dream. He isn't even real in a sense. How messed up is that? Spoony mentions “linear story with plot twists that are predictable.” How the heck did he see this one coming? It certainly threw me off.

    So they find out that in order to stop the spiral of death in Spira, they need to kill Yu Yevon. Tidus finds out if that happens, he'll disappear. NOT DIE. DISAPPEAR. Cease to exist. Just, not be anymore. Not only does he basically tell the gods of their world to shove it after learning the truth of Sin and Spira, he then learns he has to cease to exist in order to save Spira, and more importantly, the one he loves.

    That right there, that's a man. Imagine. Nothing. Just nothing. And fully knowing that's going to happen to know. I don't know about you, but that scares the heck out of me, and when he learns this, he doesn't hesitate at all. He knows it NEEDS to be done. He knows there's no other way. He doesn't break down, he mans up, keeps it to himself, and does the right thing. By comparison, when Cloud was told he was a clone, and he had confused himself with Zach, he becomes a vegetable for 1/4th of the game. Tidus learns he isn't technically real and in order to save the world and the girl, he has to cease to exist, and doesn't even flinch.

    So yes, Tidus starts off very intolerable. But as the game progressed, he became just as much of a man as his father, and finally gains his respect in his final moments. Manliest high five ever (also, one of the saddest endings of any game I've played.)

    • Poipoi

      That was beautiful! But I can’t call him the manly. I will give him credit for growing up in the game and making hard choices. And he didn’t just disappear, he went to the farplane. Touching Sin make both Tidus and Jecht more then just dreams. But without the dream, they couldn’t exist in the the real world.

      I cried at the ending. Then I played ffx-2 and got the good ending and I cried for the happy ending I wanted. I am a shameless fangirl.

  • Random_Ninja_5

    Why is it that final fantasy heroes are all whiny? From what I've heard this may include 13. Auron IS the coolest badass in FF history. Loved the vid. LMAO! I loved the ff8 video series, I can't wait to see what ff10 has in store. and will this also include a brief glimps at ff10-2. Hmm. Keep up the good work clone spoony.

  • sleepdead

    Epic review (so far), I agree on most of the terms, even thought I liked the game when it came out! :P
    Waiting patiently for the next part(s). :D

  • Renaissance_nerd

    You know after watching Snoopy's Final Fantasy Reviews i can't tell whats rabid fanboyism or actual like of a game anymore… Even my avatar is Locke for crying out loud. I did like FFX but the king of the kill to me will always be FFVI.

    And i swear if Tidus said the word Blitzball one more fucking time in that game i was gonna explode and take a axe to my PS2.

    • PandaBrawler

      Snoopy?

    • Renaissance_nerd

      oh i do not believe i did that… holy dyslexia batman… sorry Spoon man… didn’t mean to call you snoopy.

  • capthavic

    I was happy to see Spoony Prime (as I like to call/think of him) taking his show back….oh well maybe some other time.

    • Anonymous

      And now I have this horrible image in my head of Spoony grabbing his clone and punching him while screaming “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU TO DEATH!”

  • AeonAnomaly

    You didn't read the whole thing did you? He starts off a wuss, but ends up being one of the manliest. It's called development. People just get turned off by his character early on, like the video shows, and don't give him a chance as his character grows.

  • http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/blog/15075 Dax Strife

    Wow, never expected to see this; looking forward to more! I'd probably turn a gun on myself rather than play/review FFX myself, so you have my respect and sympathy.
    But why'd you have to use the god-awful Kirsten Dunst cover of “Turning Japanese?” Her voice makes my ears bleed.

  • sleepdead

    I did read the whole thing, and I've completed the game twice and he's just a whiny bitching dream from the start to the end. Everybody except Squall and possibly Zidane is manlier than Tidus, in my opinion of course. But you can't say he's one of the manliest, cause he just isn't. Play some more FF dude!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aviv-Matza/1810625354 Aviv Matza

    I loved Final Fantasy X (but that's probably because that was the first FF that I've ever played) but I can't wait to see you rip it a new asshole :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1022859146 Jon Castiglia

    CLOOONE! CLOOONE! CLOOOONE!

    Haha…love the reference to “Make My Video C+C Music Factory!”

  • dsprox

    I love the unbridled rage towards that disgusting woman/man thing child. I don't even want to know how full of rage you will be after watching transformers 3 next year, I imagine you may actually have to do that review/vlog from the hospital as you try and recover from the rage induced stroke that is all too inevitable. Believe me, I will be entering that theater with low expectations and a flame thrower, and leaving with the body count of every idiot to enjoy that movie even in the slightest.

  • SubTonic

    Ahh, Spoony, you're bashing one of my favorite games. It's all good, though. I know FFX is pretty retarded bullshit, but it's one of my guilty pleasures. Funny stuff as always.

  • Anonymous

    Kickass, another Final Fantasy review. Can’t wait for the rest.

    My friend (who’s HUGE into the FF series/JRPGs in general) told me about one of his friend’s once who supposedly played this game for hundreds and hundreds of hours. I think he actually told me a thousand but I can’t imagine that being possible so I’m just going to assume that I made that up. I can’t even play my own favourite games for hundreds of hours, I don’t know how he did it, especially for a game like FF X.

    I personally dislike FF X. Blitzball was so laaaaaame (and of course ridiculous in theory). 9 was actually one of favourites (certainly my favourite 3D iteration) though I don’t like the art style either, but clearly not nearly as much as you.

    Nice remix of Oingo Boing’s Turning Japanese there. Probably because it’s almost the exact same song.

  • http://cassave.deviantart.com/ Cassavius

    10:47 Write to MythBusters, they might be able to prove you can't throw a ball underwater!

  • jagger911

    Final Fantasy 10 is my obsolute favorite. Don't ruin it man!

  • thatrussianguy

    Man i haven't laughed so much in ages, and i love the fact i gave up my PS2 before i found this POS.
    And i think the only reason thanked Scarlett was for all of the tit jokes.

  • Pikmintaro

    I'm going to have to avoid this review, I absolutely refuse to watch it, Final Fantasy 10 is incredible no matter what Spoony says, it blew me away when I first bought it, and it's still amazing to this day.

    Even though I'm not watching it I'm already sure that Spoony will complain mostly about Tidus, because Squall being “Emo” was something he complained a lot about and then Square completely flipped it around, Tidus couldn't be anymore different than Squall and yet people still complain about it!
    Also adding to Spoony's hypocrisy he completely skipped “Final Fantasy 9″

    Sorry Spoony I love you, I'm going to have to wait until you make a review that you can actually justify.
    I remember when Spoony made an update whining about people flaming him, well he shouldn't be too surprised since he goes so out of his way to offend almost everybody, and act as close minded, racist, and xenophobic as possible (Just look at any of his comments about “Akira” “Anime” or Japan in general)

    • Anonymous

      You’ve got YOUR opinion, the guy with the script, camera, and website has got his. Capiche?

  • http://soldierhawk.wordpress.com/ SoldierHawk

    I'm more than willing to laugh along with Spoony, even though FFX is probably my favorite of all the FFs. (Well, almost anyway.) Spoony's not really a JRPG kind of guy I think, and if you don't like that to begin with, you ain't gonna like FFX.

    Still, while the main characters were annoying, I loved the story and the journey it sent the party on. Very…LOTR, actually.

  • lordschmee

    Well I've been waiting for this!
    I got 20 minutes in and just couldn't handle it.

    I think that Blitzball is utter… … crap. ;D

    BUT.
    It's possible for people to breath underwater, via liquid breathing.
    Now I dunno if the game SAYS they hold their breath or not, so I can't comment, but they COULD, scientifically, be using liquid breathing to keep their oxygen supply high.

    Now I'm not saying that the writers had such scientific insight, but if it was a major part of Neon Genesis Evangelion, it's not that big a stretch to say that the FFX creators thought of it, too.

    However, everything else you said is true… water cannot appear out of nowhere in seconds. And it's still a stupid idea, anyway. ¬_¬

    • Anonymous

      So how does this explain why Tidus, Wakka, and Rikku can fight underwater pretty much everywhere? I was under the impression that liquid breathing required a special kind of liquid, not that it was a secret technique that allows the person to breathe anywhere.

      • Anonymous

        I said I got 20 minutes into the game, I didn’t know they could fight underwater. :)
        As I said, it was scientifically possible that the BLITZBALL game could be done under water, through liquid breathing. And yes, the liquid is special in that it allows gas transfer in the lungs through it, it’s not just water.

        I never ONCE said that it was a technique, nor that it applied to the entire world (though, for all we know, it does?). In the world FFX is set in, maybe all water is suitable for liquid breathing, or the “humans” have the ability to filter oxygen out of the water. No one can say. :P It’s total crap, yeah, but if that’s canon, it’s canon.

  • pawcanada84

    I can't remeber the last time I laughed so hard XD. I loved the Black Lantern/Clone Spoony bit! When you pulled up the shirt I was in hysterics. And as always the Insano cameo was awesome.

    I liked both nine and ten. At the risk of sounding fanboy-ish I felt nine was the best of the PS1 FF games on my second play through and I felt ten's battle system, some of the summons and Auron in general were good. Granted in hindsight I agree the plot may not be as good as I remember and Tidus was always my second least favourite FF hero (Squall being #1) but I was still blown away by the music and graphics. But heck, at the end of the day you told some awesome jokes and I was laughing my ass off (which I really helped up my spirits). As far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter if I agree with your opinion or not so long as you leave me laughing.

    Can't wait for part 2.

  • newyy1

    I'm the same way with Dirty Dancing… Dirty Dancing may be the best movie in all fucking existance, but I hate the theme song.

  • Grundle

    >Tidus couldn't be anymore different than Squall and yet people still complain about it!
    Yeah, because both characters suck.

    >Also adding to Spoony's hypocrisy he completely skipped “Final Fantasy 9″
    He discusses that one in this video, too.

    >close minded, racist, and xenophobic
    No. Just no.

  • PeloquinsSoul

    Sorry to bring up wrestling, but has anyone else noticed how much CM Punks rookie on NXT looks like Wakka? He even has the hair!

  • http://soldierhawk.wordpress.com/ SoldierHawk

    I forgot to add that I completely agree with you about RIkku. As much as I love the game, she disturbs the hell out of me too. And yes, she is annoying as well!

  • GreekJR

    My friends dislikes FFXIII but hated XII and loved X.
    I think you'd like it

  • palemilktea

    I personally love FFX as well — it is my favorite out of all the games. But then again, it plays up to cheesy crap that I am well aware of being cheesy crap. It's wonderful but horrible. It's got its pros and cons. Worth being said, like Spoony, I hated FFVIII.

    So if I loved FFX, why was I looking forward to Spoony reviewing it and ripping it a new one, you ask? Because Spoony is hilarious and I knew that whatever he was going to do with the material was going to be pure gold. So far, he hasn't disappointed me.

  • newyy1

    STUPID SEXY COSPLAYERS!!!

    I love that line.

  • Nephilim1977

    Lol Spoonyman you're on fire with this review :D Hilarious stuff!

  • Sephy The OWA

    *Sighs* I though we where done with the clone thing for a while…v.v But oh well…I hope it ends :/ but….
    Rofl at Kefka-Insano xD

  • batotaku13

    even though i love Final Fantasy X, I'm going to love this.

  • Swingontehspiral

    somehow you are at your absolute best with the final fantasy series, tidus ruins this game but im glad that you gave credit to the strong points. there are so many parts in this review that had me in full-bellied laughter, almost to the point of tears. 5/5 thanks for the free reviews spoony, reviews like this are why you stand out.

  • Eniliad

    Wow, Spoony's doing FFX. Man, my opinions on this game are so complicated, it'd be impossible to summarize it in one post on a comments section that likely nobody cares about. But I'll do it anyway, if only cause I love TSE and the community its fostered.

    FFX was introduced to me by a friend who loves the game. I still remember him calling it “Final Fantasy Ex”, instead of 10. It's kinda funny in retrospective, at least for me. This game was the first for me in many ways. First, it was the first Final Fantasy game I'd ever played. It remains the only one I've ever finished, mostly because I never owned any other Final Fantasy and my old friends who had the other FF games moved away. It was also my first epic console JRPG. I had played some similar games like KotOR on the PC, but it's a completely different flavor of RPG than Final Fantasy is. On the downsides, it was also the first game I played with unskippable cutscenes. At first, I thought it was part of the story-telling method; Tidus can't skip over the bad parts of his story whether he wants to or not. Later I learned that other games do this, and it's generally a bad thing, so suddenly that “feature” didn't seem so cool, especially the second time through the game (I'll get to that in a minute). Next, it was the first game that introduced the JRPG Level Grind to me. At first, I was playing this like KotOR, just going through the areas, getting just strong enough to go to the next checkpoint. However, I learned the hard way how badly that sucks once you get to Evrae. He's probably the first “That one Boss” in the game, and he's a pain even if you do grind. I didn't, and unwilling to spend days grinding on the ship just to try the boss over and over… I started the game over. Yeah, from “Listen to my Story” all the way back to Home and Big Plot Twist #1. Only this time, I grinded the shit out of every area I went to – and that includes the piranhas near the sunken airship. I spent a day at each good grinding spot, just killing monsters until I could one-hit kill the toughest guys.

    Of course, even if the dialog is good in the game (it actually is in my opinion) the voice acting is terrible. For the first final fantasy with voices you'd think they'd do better. I hear the Japanese Tidus isn't nearly as whiny and high pitched and therefore annoying as the American version. Makes me wish I knew Japanese and had an international PS2. Naturally, Spoony smacked us over the head with the *worst* scene in the entire game from the very start of his FFX footage – the Laughing Scene in Luca. GOD, I hate this scene. Even when I thought I liked everything about FFX through and through, I muted the TV for this scene. Square, YOUR GAME SHOULD NOT MAKE ME DO THAT.

    Overall, I found the story to be enjoyable – yes, the “androgynous teenager saves the world” story is cliche, but FFX was the first game I played that had this story, so it wasn't bad for me. Though, the Final Big Plot Twist is so stupid, so out of left field, so ridiculous and unbelievable that I just choose to ignore it. Yes, that means that I have to basically ignore the final cutscene in the game, after you beat the moron that appears *after* the final boss (I don't count anything after the Final Aeon as the final boss), but screw it. The story was pretty damn good until they just fucked it over big time.

    I liked most of the characters – well, some of them. Auron of course is the most badass character I've seen in a video game (except maybe Dante in Devil May Cry), Tidus is a horrible character but at least he can fight and has some useful spells, Khimari is… well, he's a wild card. I usually just send him up Auron's path and get two good fighters out of it. Lulu's ok, if a bit unnecessarily bitchy. Wakka, voiced by John “Bender” DiMaggio, is also annoying as hell but at least he's useful. Rikku's useless after you teach someone else Steal, Yuna's a joke beyond her summon skills (which other than the bosses that I chump Overdrives on are useless.) And of course most of the supporting cast is useless too, beyond advancing plot points or giving you stuff.

    The most memorable part for me in this entire game though is the Yunalesca fight. The cutscene that precedes this battle is one of my favorite in the videogames I've played. It's the scene in which the biggest plot twist in the entire game is revealed, people realize that they've been fighting, and dying, for a false pretense, and the shock causes the characters to finally grow some balls and decide that they're calling BULLSHIT on Yunalesca, Yevon and the entire purpose for their journey, and they're gonna be the heroes and save the world the RIGHT way. They don't even know what that is but damn it they're not just going to give up and let history continue the way it has. Everyone readies themselves for battle, all of them saying a variant of “I'd rather die than live a lie like this!”. Hell, even Tidus turns in his best performance in the entire game, and compared to his earlier acting, it's legendary. When Tidus says “This is our story. Now let's see this through together,” I actually got chilled a bit. Most because “HOLY SHIT HE'S ACTING”, but partially because it is, in my opinion, well delivered. He's not high-pitched or whiny, he's not being a crybaby pain in the ass… he's being a hero. That's what we wanted him to do from the beginning of the fucking game!

    Of course, I also hate this cutscene and the fight that follows for the same reason I love it. Though Yunalesca doesn't do a lot of damage, she basically cripples you by making it impossible to heal throughout most of the fight. And this is a three-form boss fight. Your not-so-powerful-yet characters have to take off 20,000 health, 40,000, then 60,000, for a grand total of 120,000 HP, more than any other fight to that point in the game. And though she doesn't damage you much, she also has status ailments that can fuck you over, and the wrong combo makes it so you have to sit helplessly and watch your characters basically off themselves. And if that happens, or you happen to not have at least one zombie in the party by the time her final form appears and casts Mega Death on the party, you're screwed. You have to reload, and WATCH THE CUTSCENE AGAIN. Even if you like that scene, you're gonna hate it the second or third time you see it, because it can only be slightly rushed, not skilled. Oh, and I do hope you saved right before the bossfight, because thanks to the “no continue” system this game uses, if you didn't save after killing Mr. Berserk Tail Fucker, you have to fight him again too.

    But wait! That fight gets even BETTER. Because I hadn't spent a week grinding in the Calm Lands that playthrough (I did after I had to start over to Evrae, but this third time through the game I just didn't feel like it), I felt the need to charge my Aeon's overdrives to fight both Berserk Tail, and Yunalesca. So before both fights I had to run out, charge them up and come back. You have any idea how tedious that is? Now consider that Yunalesca recovers HP off your Aeons in order to kill them, a tactic she doesn't employ against your main party. So yeah, I can summon Shiva to do 9999 damage against the boss, but she'll heal back about 1/5 of it, depending on if you've leveled your Aeons (I didn't, thankfully – ironically it's better to NOT level your aeons ever for any reason). And of course, in order for it to be useful I have to use it against the final form of the boss, easily the most painful.

    GAH. Sorry, FFX has a lot of bad memories for me too. Though I do like a lot about the game, it's also frustrating and painful. It's one hell of a mixed bag experience for me.

    OH – Before I forget. Spoony, a tip for FFX: Try teaching Ultima to Yuna after Lulu gets it. At the time Lulu's Ultima was doing about 4500 damage (I didn't level her a lot), Yuna had a ton more Magic stat and when I gave her Ultima, she cast it for 9999 most of the time. Also, if you ever are trying to decide if you want a weapon with Counterattack or Evade and Counter, pick Evade and Counter – thanks to a bug, Evade and Counter goes off anytime you are attacked, whether it hits or not.

  • http://spencerbedlam.com/ Spencer Bedlam

    Wow. It can't be physically possible to cram any more scathing remarks in that space of time. I'm really impressed by this piece of work, Spoonman. How much time did this one video take? You've really set the bar high with this one. This is better than many of AVGN's videos.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=25102916 Bryan Edwards

    Actually, the whole liquid oxygenation thing came from The Abyss… or that's the earliest instance I can think of

  • spect

    The aurochs is the ancestor of the cow.
    Best review ever. Fucking hilarious.I really hope you touch on FFX-2 a bit as well. It's even worse.

  • nlea

    Long time watcher, first time poster. Love that you're tackling FFX. As the first Final Fantasy I really played I know how truly horribafuckus an experience it is. A great gateway to FF games though, as even FFVIII is a wonderful game experience after sitting through X.

    I had been curious as to your thoughts of FFIX since it is my favorite in the Final Fantasy line. I respect your dislike of the game, and fully admit that the artwork isn't for everyone. I do feel that I should defend it a little though. A major complaint of the Final Fantasy franchise in general is the inherent emo-ness of the lead character and in this area I feel that FFIX is different. The lead character Zidane isn't a mopey, whiny, douchy emo git. He's actually quite optimistic and happy.

    I know this has been quite fangirlish and not entirely on topic, but I just wanted to stick up for possibly the only upbeat lead character in the Final Fantasy franchise. As for FFX, it's god awful and I'm having horrible flashbacks as I watch the review but I don't think there's anything I could say that you wouldn't be able to say better.

    Thanks for suffering for our amusement.

    ~

  • archedgar

    Great stuff by Spoony.

    I'm glad he's tearing down the fanboy favorite FFX now, a game that's such extreme garbage like this one definitely deserves to be ripped to shreds.

    5/5 Spoony! Eagerly awaiting the next chapters.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marcus-Lundgren/642791648 Marcus Lundgren

    Yes, Spoony, yes!!!
    At last you're giving your fans a real treat!
    Eh, I'm not saying that you don't do that on a regular basis, but this IS special.
    I, and I'm sure many others, discovered you by watching the FF VIII videos, and it always
    stops the world when another one shows up.
    I was having such a shit day so far, and then I discovered this vid. Damn, now I'm HAPPY!

    Oh, FX-2? What about it? It's less linear in construction, but perhaps you could do something with
    that as well? It's OK if you don't, but then you (and we) won't see your version of the FFX-saga through
    to the end.

  • http://twitter.com/Beyrob Robert Beyda

    Yeah gotta disagree with you on 9. It's my second fav in the series second only to 6. I didn't just not mind the art style I actautly liked the cartoony style. It added to nostalgia for me. It's a great game and Zidine is not whiny or pansy he's more of a man than Cloud, Squall, and Vaan pur together. Though that said, I suppose you gave it a fair chance with two tries. Shame, but I respect your opinion.

    Also thank you for murdering 10 , I HATE 10. BTW an Auroch is a exict cow.

  • endgame81

    I liked 10, can see why folk hated it though. Battle system and a decent story kept me in it, tho it was waaaaay too linear and by god, the english dub really was horribad. I wont rule out the possibility i was just being blinded by FF fanboyism tho, suffered from that alot i think, till X-2 and 12 killed the series completely for me

    • Anonymous

      Well I dunno, the VA for Auron kicks the most ass IMO. They didn’t ALL suck.

      • Anonymous

        You have a good point about Auron, but then, everything about Auron was win, however it doesnt change the fact that the overall dubbing, either due to crap VA’s or just crap dialog was horrific. The bad far outweighs the good imho

  • Nintony58

    I haven't played any FF game ever, but 10 was the only one that I'm interested in. I've been watching a playthrough and, although I haven't seen the ending, it isn't that bad.

  • DrForrester

    Dude, you're really missing out if you haven't played ANY of the final fantasies

    Awesome start on FFX spoony. this game is in dire need of a good reaming, despite having an awesome fighting system

  • Nintony58

    I don't really like RPG's. I just wanted to see the story and FFX looked the most interesting… to me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gary-Phillips/1676420523 Gary Phillips

    I have the same problem with FFIX Spoony. My friends who love the game always told me back then that it was an awesome game and that it brings back the lighthearted archetype main character since Bartz in FFV. I haven't played it, but I watched my friends play it and I could never really stomach it for more than an hour at a time. The story seemed interesting, but the art style… ugh, could not stand it.

    Loving your review of FFX so far. So friggin' hilarious. Your harsh criticism of Tidus is pretty much the same as mine when I first watched my friends play it and I can definitely understand Jecht's animosity towards Tidus. I never understood the whole “Rikku = teh sexay” thing. Give her a rack that's a couple sizes under Lulu's and make her like 4 or 5 years older, then I'd consider it. Wakka… yeah, I wanna punch him in the face every time he opens his mouth. I don't know why, I just do. I definitely would have played this game myself had Auron been the main character though. He should have stepped on Tidus's hand at the beginning.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gary-Phillips/1676420523 Gary Phillips

    Of course it's not physically possible. Maybe he's using the Time Compressor device?

  • Covarr

    Great video, but why did you do that to the aspect ratio of FFX? It makes the in-game shots really hard to watch, with everything all squished like that.

  • oblivion328

    I actually liked X, it being my first FF game, but I cant argue with any of the faults you pointed out. And Tidus really is among the worst FF characters of all time. Part of the reason I got Dissidia, which actually turned out to be much more fun than I expected, was to murder the little bastard. I tried playing X-2 and found some parts of the plot interesting, but the overall presentation just annoyed the fuck out of me. By the way, Rikku is actually 17 in the sequel, so it's not quite as creepy.

  • shikka

    Despite the fact that 10 is my second favorite of the series, I loved this review. I had the same problems with blitzball and Tidus but I managed to overlook them because of the great battle system and the sphere grid. Can't wait to see more.

    Oh and I want to see a FF13 review at some point. It reminds me of FF10 in that it has a great battle system and decent story but is extremely linear (even more than 10) and has some annoying characters (Hope, Snow, Vanille at times)

  • MasterSeijin

    Spoony, please stop referring to the big monster thing as “Godzilla”. Not only is that a gross generalization, but it's an insult to us kaiju fans, who are in no way creepy or disgusting like anime freaks. We're actual people with ethics and dignity. Anyway, Godzilla is WAY cooler than the creature in this game and would no doubt spank the mother fucker in seconds. Now there's a real good chance you'll never read this but at least I can say I tried. I'm all for you tearing down FFX and the fanboy legacy and all that, but there's no need to tear down the kaiju community. Just take these words into consideration. Surly you remember the pain and anguish you suffered when you're perception of wrestling was destroyed? Just try to focus you're fury in the right direction.

    That being said, I can already tell this review is going to be allot of fun, as much if not more so then the last one. Looking forward to part 2.

  • destrond69

    Vivi alone makes 9 a worthwhile game… but then again Black mages always kick ass.. or have huge breasts.

    sometimes both..

    but this review tops the epic list of all time simply for KefkaSpoony

  • http://www.vgboxart.com/author/alldreamsfalldown/ alldreamsfalldown

    Lulu is hot. I openly admit that.

  • treyher

    Spoooonnnyyyy! Back again in style XD!

    Must say I really liked Final Fantasy X and I managed to sort of “block out the badness” and just sort of imagine what story the developers were trying to tell. To me the game plays smoothly, the fighting is cool, the extra bosses are a nice challenge and yeah the characters and story are awkward as hell… but somehow I managed to feel fulfilled playing this one. The graphics and music are stellar, the game is long and fun.

    And yeah Blitzball sucks. But how is it a major part of the gameplay (unless you want Wakka's ultimate weapon)? All in all though, I still find this review downright hilarious as it focusses on the thing I hated – the characters. I found that if you suspend your disbelief and accept that some things just get a bit lost in translation, the story's not all that bad, with cool vistas and some interesting twists – it's the AWFUL DIALOGUE that kills it. Still can't see why you hate this one more than FF VIII, but I guess future installments of the review will tell! I never really played the old school FFs, save FF VI on the GBA (and loved that one btw).

    And don't get me wrong! I LOVE your reviews – this one most definitely included. And I really get the hatred. But I just sort of tried to enjoy the game for what it is – a fun RPG with a clunky but bearable story – and had a LOT of fun with it. And it's still a better game than 90% of the games you reviewed on your site including FFVIII – at least it's not a drawfest!

    To be honest I have no idea why I bothered writing all that – I guess it's just to show I appreciate you not bashing the stuff I liked about it (yet)!

    P.S.

    You're way funnier than AVGN. At least your show isn't one long shitty fart/vomit/fecal joke.

    P.P.S

    You have an official fanbase in Poland! And we all agree: Spoony jest wyjebany w kosmos (meaning spoony is “fucked into space” or simply put “awesome”)! I wonder where else you have fans? Maybe you should do a sort of “Conan O' Brien hates my homeland – the Spoony edition” and find out where you get hate mail from :-D?

  • treyher

    Spoooonnnyyyy! Back again in style XD!

    Must say I really liked Final Fantasy X and I managed to sort of “block out the badness” and just sort of imagine what story the developers were trying to tell. To me the game plays smoothly, the fighting is cool, the extra bosses are a nice challenge and yeah the characters and story are awkward as hell… but somehow I managed to feel fulfilled playing this one. The graphics and music are stellar, the game is long and fun.

    And yeah Blitzball sucks. But how is it a major part of the gameplay (unless you want Wakka's ultimate weapon)? All in all though, I still find this review downright hilarious as it focusses on the thing I hated – the characters. I found that if you suspend your disbelief and accept that some things just get a bit lost in translation, the story's not all that bad, with cool vistas and some interesting twists – it's the AWFUL DIALOGUE that kills it. Still can't see why you hate this one more than FF VIII, but I guess future installments of the review will tell! I never really played the old school FFs, save FF VI on the GBA (and loved that one btw).

    And don't get me wrong! I LOVE your reviews – this one most definitely included. And I really get the hatred. But I just sort of tried to enjoy the game for what it is – a fun RPG with a clunky but bearable story – and had a LOT of fun with it. And it's still a better game than 90% of the games you reviewed on your site including FFVIII – at least it's not a drawfest!

    To be honest I have no idea why I bothered writing all that – I guess it's just to show I appreciate you not bashing the stuff I liked about it (yet)!

    P.S.

    You're way funnier than AVGN. At least your show isn't one long shitty fart/vomit/fecal joke.

    P.P.S

    You have an official fanbase in Poland! And we all agree: Spoony jest wyjebany w kosmos (meaning spoony is “fucked into space” or simply put “awesome”)! I wonder where else you have fans? Maybe you should do a sort of “Conan O' Brien hates my homeland – the Spoony edition” and find out where you get hate mail from :-D?

  • vicL

    his name is actually pronounced “tEEdus”, in dissidia they always refer to him with tat pronunciation

  • oblivion328

    Weird. I always though it was pronounced like that, then my friend told me it was actually the way Spoony says it. Y'know, it seems a bit odd that Tidus never seems to tell anyone else his name. I know that would be because the player can change the name, but still it just seems odd that he doesn't share it with his friends…as far as I can recall anyway.

  • thehivemind33

    Amen!

  • thehivemind33

    Spoony, you're the man! I hope you continue to tear FF7 – onward a new one! I just hate the direction it went after six…seven wasn't all that bad. It's a pretty darn good game but the crazy ass anime kind of direction it pointed the series toward really wasn't doing it for me…eh, see: Spoony's POV in his FF8 review. It's the same.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660601513 facebook-660601513

    This was hillarious Spoony XD It's just as good as the FFVIII review. Or perhaps even better! =3

    Keep up the good work!

  • RandomFan01

    Wait a damn second…

    What's the ball filled with? If it's filled with air, that would make blitzball even more impossible. It would just float to the top of the Water Sphere!

  • Solitair

    Murdering him like this?

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/8/26/

    Although I would be sorely tempted to make Sephiroth the target of my murderous rage. Daddy Issues vs. Momma's Boy, who will reign supreme?

  • Adog548

    The sponny one returns with FF13 good job sponny

  • Jorda75

    I actually liked FF 10, maybe only for the great combat, wonderful cinematics and my favorite summoning system in any Final Fantasy game. I ignored Titus and focused on the other characters, like Auron and Lulu and just kept wishing they would have more of their back stories than Titus whining or Yuna talking to noone in the distance.

    I actually kind of liked Wakka too, he was goofy but compared to Titus he comes off as serious as a pallbearer. I think the much better game would have been one that followed the original pilgramage with Yuna and Titus's father and a younger Auron. How badass would it be to play as Jecht and Auron and then summon a huge dragon to kill everything that somehow survived the initial slaughter? Another awesome video Spoony, can't wait for part 2! :D

  • Paper_Banjokami

    If you hate Tidus' voice, try watching some Johnny Test.

  • Ikari Warrior

    For anyone that cares, here's a complete video Let's Play of FFX…sorry if this has already been posted; ain't no way I'm reading 12 pages worth of comments to find out, lol.

    http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/ffx/

  • mecharick

    heh, Hudson Hawk. but yeah, an Auroch is a prehistoric cow like animal

  • Quicksilver_the_Archangel

    Please stop refering to anime fans as “anime freaks” and we'll strike up a deal?

    • Anonymous

      Hay, I ment no offence. I was only speaking Spoony’s lingo. But to be fair you really need to keep track of your own people, ’cause when you don’t then shit like “Artemis’ Lover” and “Furry Slash” happen.

  • Homncruse

    I hope you do the whole game spoony. There's so much to talk about and your reviews are always the best!

    It was such a dissapointment playing FFX. Fun combat, looked great and I even like the sphere grid leveling up system, but god damn, everything else. Why Squaresoft, why? I don't hold this game against them. It's their series, it was a experiment and to me it failed, but oh well. At least they got it right with 12.

    It does suck that the mind works the way it does. No FF game will ever be as good as the old school to those of us that grew up with FF from the beginning. All we can do is quietly lament the passage of time and the silly way our memories work. Then, if we're lucky, move on and try to have some fun with the new stuff haha. (I was just rewatching some of the FF8 videos, and yes, the opera scene. To the young 90's ff fans, it is Our Secret Shame.)

    (though aeris dying did get me too, but don't tell anyone.)

  • Rutager

    I'm very glad to see you're doing a number on another highly debated game in the Final Fantasy series. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed both FF8 and FF10, your review on Eight was extremely funny. I can't wait for more on Ten and I am also interested to hear what you thought of Ten Part Two. Part Two was actually one of my favorites with three new-game-plus playthroughs but it would be funny to hear you make fun of it.

  • http://www.tashabennett.blogspot.com/ Natasha Bennett

    I gotta say, Spoony, your Black Lantern Ring has a peculiar habit of following you around, even after you fling it at various people and devices. Forget coming back as a zombie all the time-your real problem might be your magnetic attraction to jewellery. :)

    Overall, another great review!

  • destrond69

    the spiral eye bit with Dr. Insaneo … priceless

    though i do feel the need to mention that in 2002 Square's audience of 20 year-olds wasn't the group they were targeting with Rikku … they gave us Lulu… ;) – it just sucks that she's got a thing for Bender ya?

  • isaac232

    I know you probably don't meant it too badly, but I'd be careful on what you say about the furries. Not all are creepy and I'm sure many watch your stuff. It's like saying it's creepy to be in other fandoms for what it is, not everyone goes too far into the darkest depths of what a fandom is capable of producing.

    Anyway, despite your little unneeded say against them, this review is hilariously funny. As for points, well…

    -Voices: Terrible voice-acting. It just goes to show that no matter how far we get in technology we just can't find any decent actors to match with the awesome japanese ones.

    -Tiddus: lol, Meg Ryan…anyway, his design just seems generic and over the top goofy. Though that's what FF is known for, designs so futuristic that even your hair can match with your clothes!

    -Dodgeball Weapon: Yeah…I say a ball would be about the dumbest thing in existance. Plus, I think the megaphone weapon was enough, I don't think the robot on a giant robot counts as separate ones. Just ironic that the guy who uses the ball is your best fighter, oh the irony.

    -Tiddus, again: Yeah, did this as I watched the review, lawl. Anyway, if you thought Tiddus was dumb, look at Hope in XIII. This kid thinks of revenge all because his mother let herself die trying to help another guy trying to save everyone including her son!

    -Sword over ball?: Because game designers thought that because swords are sharper than a little ball, you'd do more damage with it. But then again, they still included the ball archtype for the reason of giving it to a party member who can only use it along with broken abilities so…yeah, no reason at all!

    Overall, this will definitely top the FF8 review. Just becareful with what you say about any fandom, be it furry or not. Especially since one of your party members happens to be one, I really hope you don't pour on the hate because even you should know better than that.

  • coyoterys

    Spoony,

    With such silly names these characters have, I'm really surprised you over-looked a great Fozzie the Bear reference.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI_4rxw20KE

  • theshamster

    The interesting thing about Wakka is that he has the most powerfull Overdrive of them all.

    If you get an ability to customise your weapon to limit-break, and have him maxed out, then use the slots and get three 2 hits, he will hit the enemy 12 fimes, each hit scoring 99999 damage…So, in total, that would be 1199988 damage in a single turn based attack.

  • theshamster

    Actually, it would “punch” you in the face as it shoots up to the surface of the water…I know, I tried to hold a ball underwater as a child and it hit me in the face as the natural law of gravity took over.

    Needless to say, I never did that again.

  • Bosh_Depanzer

    I would say your overreacting to Tidus, but your rage really is 100% justified.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Ickes/60716010 Andrew Ickes

    Loved the review as always. I did have several problems with the game like you did, but never the less i still enjoyed it for what it was. FF games are just fun, and half the fun is seeing how they change the new games for better or worse.

    Oh, and the blitzball that turns enemies to stone is the TKO Ball… I used it all the time too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.steckly Daniel L Steckly

    This. Is going. TO BE AWESOME!

  • bloodhowl

    Btw, where can I get that version of “Turning Japanese?”

  • lesren

    I counted eleven butts Spoony, 11.

  • KLapp72

    Spoony thank you so much!

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    OMG Final Fantasy X
    I love Final Fantasy X(same with VII,VIII and IX)

    I thought Tidus was a really good character the reason he didn't know anything was because he had to ask questions for the players to understand what is happening in spria.

    I also like the other characters in the game like Wakka,Seymour,Yuna,Auron etc..

    Final Fantasy X is one of the best final fantasy games of all time. I did I mention I love blitzball??

  • Strelnikov

    Nobody here has said it, but “Sin” the Dragon/Brontosaurus/WTF is a total ripoff of the “Cloverfield” monster, right down to shedding smaller creatures that attack people. That or it's some “homage”* to the Biollante or SpaceGodzilla monsters from the newer Gojira flicks.

    Man those breakdowns at 5:39 and 6:42 were things of beauty….Spoony deserves to pick up a “Shatnie” from the Internet Actors Guild Awards in 2011. Nominate him now!

  • Strelnikov

    * “homage” should be read as RIPOFF.

  • Colme

    Hmm, I noticed something during the review and looked it up. Did you know Waka is voiced by Bender? Yes, that Bender. Depressing, isn't it?

  • http://twitter.com/dividebyxero John Wilkes

    Man, I'm sure Spoony is going to hate [or already hates] FF13.

  • whatislove

    Cloverfield (2008)
    Final Fantasy X (2001)

    You sure Sin is a ripoff of the Cloverfrield?

  • CalebTheTimeTraveler

    I think I should say this now.
    A Lantern Ring is actually worn on the Middle finger, unless it's the Golden Age Green Lantern.
    Yeah, it would make more sense to have it be the ring finger, but… well Blame Gil Kane.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brendan-Cid-Horton/100000655357299 Brendan 'Cid' Horton

    Damn if this is the start up his bash. I'm gonna love the rest, wonder what Linkara is gonna do about Black Lantern Spoony? Eh whatever back to the episode while drawing comics.

    • Anonymous

      A fellow comic artist! *high fives*

  • vonfiedler

    Ah, I remember all the people who reacted in outrage to your comment about FFX.

    Actually, no, I'm pretty sure I was the only one who called you out on it.

    Still, just thought I'd say that this review was funny. It does nothing to convince me that 10 is worse than 8, but it's funny.

  • http://www.youtube.com/matman125 matty

    Spoony, you forgot to add the last Ass Count at the end from the dude on the far left when Tidus is kicking for potions!

    I did not like this game. I gave it TWO honest-to-God tries and about 4-5 hours on the second attempt …I was done. Much like you I did not care for the majority of the characters. The settings did nothing for me and what the hell was it with all the damn colorful, frivolous, yet, street, clothes?!

    Maybe, someday I will give it another try. And after hell freezes over I'll sprinkle salt rocks on the volleyballs covered in ice.

  • blackrain9000

    I actually found FF13 to be pretty decent so far (although Spoony might have a problem with the fact that the game is very linear).

    • Anonymous

      I liked XII. The storyline was bearable, and there were characters that didn’t piss you off from the second you met them. Balthier made that game worth it. Too bad the main character in Vaan was ridiculously stupid and a bad character design. The stupid half bra-half metal vest thing he wore? Come on…

      Oh yeah, and from what I’ve found online, it looks like Lightning is going to be a legitimately good main character, so when I get out to buy it in 2 days or so, I’m gonna look forward to that =)

      • Anonymous

        Actually, I found his abs to be very disturbing. They look they were inversed or something.

  • joluoto

    Yes, FFX is worse than FFVIII. The characters are stupid, the world map is gone, the battle system sucks as does the levelling up system. The game feels to linear for an RPG. The only things that are good is that the story after a while gets really good and interresting (unfortunately only after more than half of the game), and of course the music. The music is good.

    About FFIX, I get that some people dislike the art style, but the game is MUCH BETTER than VIII and X.

  • Anonymous

    I feel yourself on nine man, I did not like that one either. The artwork just isn’t my bag. Being a final fantasy fan, I think I know exactly what your feeling with these later games. Its the in-game character artist. You’ve got the concept artist who did the art for all the games, and who was more represented in all the game till seven. Then at seven you get a new modern jap-anime artist who fails in talent in comparison to Yoshitaka Amano (the real artist of final fantasy). I liked eight but I lost interest in the later part of the game and that’s been the thing for all the final fantasies after… except ten. Now, I didn’t play ten when it first came out and I remember watching my friend play it and thinking it was lame. But, later I came back to it and I loved it from start to finish.

    I use Linkara’s method of explanation to explain all your frustrating unexplained things in this world… Magic… Magic makes the water sphere form from practically no where. Magic makes the blitz ball act that way, and since magic makes the world go round in this world.

    I enjoyed almost 99% of this game except the ability grid. Now eventually I said f it and used codes for infinite master spheres and it take almost 4 hours to level up only one! yes one! character’s full use of abilities. I would take final fantasy eight’s drawing system over this… oh how I would.

    And about the clothing, I mean the world revolves around water and beaches. How is this style of clothing not appropriate to the game? Unlike the eight review, I haven’t found any one of your arguments to be something that I could see really making the game labeled as suck. I know though you’ll come up with some better ones. Can’t wait for part 2!

  • kikyoo

    Hey Spoony Funny as hell reveiw, keep it up. I am able to forgive a LOT of FF10's flaws for one reason. Auron, he's just such a bad ass guy, that I am willing to ignore a lot of the crap because of him. Not only is he NOT a teenager but he's one of the few rightly bad ass characters in Final fantasy. I like everything about him, and given FF9 had no characters i liked at all and FF8 had no characters I liked at all and FF7 had characters I wanted to like and should have liked, but ended up not really liking all that much, save for Sephiroth who despite his being pretty lame (especially at the end) was a well used villain. and FF6 Also didn't endear it's self to me with it's lineup, save for Kefka who is just awesome, and I really played to the end just to see HIM. FF5 I never beat mostly because it broke on me when i was mostly threw it, but the characters in that one were very boring as well. FF4 is the only other Final fantasy game that had characters I liked, namely Cecil really endeared himself to me when he was a Dark Knight, and the story picks up so much that when he becomes a paladin I keep playing because I really enjoyed it. It's one of the few Final fantasy games that acutely had push and pull like a real conflict, with heroes constantly coming, and going because they were giving their lives for the fight. I really enjoyed it, tho I am still a bit annoyed at how at the end Everyone who supposedly died in the conflicts lived, save Tellah. But I'll get over it. 3 2 and 1 were all really pretty boring IMO, and I only really like 4 and 10, and I have to say I like the DS version of 4 A LOT better than 10, mostly because it's a challenge! and 10… eh… I like Auron, but I like the challenge 4 gives a LOT better.

    Anyways I mostly made this post to give a suggestion Spoony, Next time you get one of these chug the pills things, get a crunchy piece of candy, and start chewing it. It was comedy GOLD when Marv did it, and it'll be funny if you do it. It'll look like your so out of it, your chewing your pills… SO DO IT!

  • kikyoo

    Hey Spoony Funny as hell reveiw, keep it up. I am able to forgive a LOT of FF10's flaws for one reason. Auron, he's just such a bad ass guy, that I am willing to ignore a lot of the crap because of him. Not only is he NOT a teenager but he's one of the few rightly bad ass characters in Final fantasy. I like everything about him, and given FF9 had no characters i liked at all and FF8 had no characters I liked at all and FF7 had characters I wanted to like and should have liked, but ended up not really liking all that much, save for Sephiroth who despite his being pretty lame (especially at the end) was a well used villain. and FF6 Also didn't endear it's self to me with it's lineup, save for Kefka who is just awesome, and I really played to the end just to see HIM. FF5 I never beat mostly because it broke on me when i was mostly threw it, but the characters in that one were very boring as well. FF4 is the only other Final fantasy game that had characters I liked, namely Cecil really endeared himself to me when he was a Dark Knight, and the story picks up so much that when he becomes a paladin I keep playing because I really enjoyed it. It's one of the few Final fantasy games that acutely had push and pull like a real conflict, with heroes constantly coming, and going because they were giving their lives for the fight. I really enjoyed it, tho I am still a bit annoyed at how at the end Everyone who supposedly died in the conflicts lived, save Tellah. But I'll get over it. 3 2 and 1 were all really pretty boring IMO, and I only really like 4 and 10, and I have to say I like the DS version of 4 A LOT better than 10, mostly because it's a challenge! and 10… eh… I like Auron, but I like the challenge 4 gives a LOT better.

    Anyways I mostly made this post to give a suggestion Spoony, Next time you get one of these chug the pills things, get a crunchy piece of candy, and start chewing it. It was comedy GOLD when Marv did it, and it'll be funny if you do it. It'll look like your so out of it, your chewing your pills… SO DO IT!

  • liqui

    I used to play FFX for a long time, actually, but now that you mention it, Tidus really is annoying as hell…
    My guess is that japanese teenage-girls prefer the androgynous men type in termes of fanservice, which is why half of them (not only in ff but also in other manga/anime/j-pop) look like shemales.
    I'm glad you didn't pick on Auron though, he was my favorite charakter ;)

  • aragami

    YES, I've been waiting so long for this ^_^

  • hitfreezy

    This is gonna be epic.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.szpakowski Michael Szpakowski

    Oddly enough your reason for not playing through IX is the reason I never even gave it a chance. Those designs were just impossible to get over, everyone looks like midgets.

  • http://twitter.com/PTSnake Alexandre Franquinho

    I second this. That's not the Vapors original version, and it's not bad. AT ALL.

  • qwrtyp

    Oh hi, Final Fantasy Review.
    The flamers will tear you apart, Spoony. But don't worry about it. Just tell them to leave their stupid comments in their pockets.

  • mckaysproductions

    I know your going to hate this comment man but…I fucking love final fantasty x it's one of my favourite games.
    It's a beautiful game and now i get hate mail lol.

  • taranaich

    I have to laugh at Spoony considering Lulu's breasts to be large: they only look a DD-F cup to me. That's practically modest by anime standards. (why do people always bring up back pain when it comes to larger-than-average boobs? Posture and a good bra does wonder, girls!) Hell, she looks the same size as that hot Rikku cosplayer. I think it's the fur trim: deceptive.

    What was more noticeable to me was the fact that nothing seems to be supporting her dress. How the hell is it not falling down? It doesn't look nearly tight enough to use friction to support it, nor does the basque/corset look like it could keep her boobs from falling out. What the hell's going on with that dress? The only thing that could support the dress/boobs is tape of some sort. Is Lulu really wearing tit tape? Bizarre.

    Then again, considering the game also has a dude with an industrial-strength cowlick and Tidus can leap 20 feet out of the water, perhaps gravity is just a lot weaker there than on earth. Or something.

    Gah. Brain hurt.

  • c1catwoman

    can't wait for part 2
    thx spoony!!!

  • c1catwoman

    can't wait for part 2
    thx spoony!!!

  • shadowmoon

    not sure if anyone mentioned this already but in X-2 they mention that there is materia in the farplanes (which Sinra the little albed kid finds) which would say that the FFX world and FFVII world are the same place

  • http://www.escepticorecords.com esceptico

    This was too funny! I love this game, I honestly do, but I can see his many flaws specially at the end when we learn that (SPOILER) everyone is fuckin' dead. I can say, you brought up some really good points like Tidus (or Meg Ryan in this case) it's a much more better blitzball player so he'd be the one using the ball instead. Keep up the funny!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mlatimer1 Michael Latimer

    i take it im one of the few people that only play rpgs from the gameplay. seriously i lost 5 pounds playing this game cause the story as usual is vomit enducing

  • nerk

    See, this is where you have a warped sense of what makes a good game Spoony. You claim that FFX has good gameplay, but you call it a bad game because it has a bad storyline. See the flaw there? I'm not a fan of FF at all, but i just find it really ironic that you quickly glance over the “admittedly good gameplay”, then spend the rest of this whole review bitching about how a game has a bad storyline. It's like you're using the same priorities movie reviewers use, but applying it to games, which kinda makes me question whether or not you play them for the gameplay at all… or if you just expect a good movie whenever you pick up a controller.

    Or maybe i'm reading too much into a review that's just supposed to make people laugh, but it's hard to watch these FF review videos when this massive logical flaw is always there.

  • Eniliad

    While I don't condone flaming… you are aware this is a *comments* section, right?

  • qwrtyp

    Yes, what makes you think otherwise.

  • dragonfly82

    I'm really interested to hear your opinion on FFXIII
    you could do a short Vlog about it……

  • Mo0rbid

    I really like ffx but this is hilarious

  • Anonymous

    FFX was the first games I ever picked up for the PS2, I enjoyed the breathtaking graphics, until the runt popped up and shat on all my hopes. I like 9 quite a bit, but it wasn’t quite redemption for VIII.

    FFX2 was pure Charlie’s Angels-type dogshit. Please feel free to rip the skin off that game and make a funny hat.

  • kaloyan

    First, great review, very funny. Second, I loved FFIX, but thats me and my tastes.

    Next I have a small criticism Spoony one, it feels like you are overacting in this. The dialogue feels kinda rushed and not quite “you”, if that makes sense. I just don't feel the same anger I felt in the FF VIII review. You are indeed touching upon the great many flaws of the game but still, this feels like you're trying to speed through it as fast as possible, probably to keep from making such a long part review like FF VIII was but still, I feel a quality drop.

    The parts at the beginning with Black Lantern Spoony and Spoony Clone also feel rushed, They /feel/ acted and not very genuine. I know, how genuine do I expect it to feel from this crazy show, but what I mean is that… Take for example the Hell's Kitchen review, You tried to dress up as Chef Ramsey and act like you were really him, it was silly and of course it wasn't the actual Ramsey, but you could feel the effort put into it.

    The Spoony Squall was even well done too, You could suspend your belief a second and almost believe there was a second spoony in the room with you simply from the way you were acting.

    In this video I just don't feel it. There didn't seem to be any tension between the two Spoonys BL Spoony didn't seem to have that tone of voice a real person would have in such a situation, and there was no horrified face when it was revealed to be a FF review., the whole thing was “resolved”, for lack of a better word, too quickly IMO.

  • HidanTheMan

    People who are getting mad about this review should just relax I mean seriously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and so is Spoony, of course that doesn't make his opinion right.

    Final Fantasy X is a masterpiece, nobody can deny this, and someone like Spoony could never change this fact, remember Final Fantasy X got nearly universal praise, and perfect scores from almost every single reviewer, Spoony's rant is basically just a tiny blip on the radar, along with all the other complainers and whiners.

    If you don't like Spoony making an unjustified rant about Final Fantasy X, then just skip past it, nobody is forcing you to listen to his close minded and hypocritical ramblings (Remember when he reviewed the Transformers movies? he did nothing but complain about the “Racism” and crap like that, then he turned right around and started talking about his utter sexual obsession with Megan Fox, basically proving how much of a sexist hypocrite he is)

    Although one has to wonder, which Masterpiece Spoony is going to try and put down next, Parasite Eve perhaps? Castlevania Symphony of the Night? it's anybody's guess, but I wouldn't take Spoony too seriously even if he is being serious, you can see how prejudiced he is, he hates other peoples opinions and he obviously hates freedom, you can see how much he enjoys putting the fans down and stomping all over them in the Final part of his Final Fantasy 8 review (Just look at how he acts about the romance and the love song in it), he seems to have an almost insane obsession with stroking his own ego and making people who just want to have fun look like trash, just look at him talk about Cosplay (And then he just goes ahead and acts like a douche while dressing up like his Mad Scientist character to further the hypocrisy), or the music he doesn't like, and then you can see how insane he went with Akira when the American ads for it dared to put down his precious Bladerunner.
    At the very bottom of it you can see that Spoony is in a word “Evil” he hates freedom, he hates people trying to enjoy what they like, he's incredibly close minded and xenophobic, and he does it all just to stroke his own enormous ego.

    But then again he's an American raised in the American school system so it's really not much of a surprise there :)

  • geezmo

    I can't wait for the next one Spoony! Well done.

    I had a feeling you would be an Auron fan. You both have a big thing in common… bein badass and everything.

  • geezmo

    Oh NO. You can't be serious.

    *attempts to swallow a butter knife*

  • elmeron

    Or you know, you could take it as the humor it's intended to be. Oh, or even better, go find a cosplay fansite you can drool over and forget about this site's existence, since it's quite obvious to anyone that this is meant to be overly critical.

  • GodTheGod

    Somebody telling people not to get mad, then ranting and calling Spoony evil?
    Somebody calling Spoony close minded, but is unable to take criticism towards something like this?
    Somebody calling somebody a xenophobe, and ending his post with a slight against him for “being raised on an American school system”?
    Somebody making all these claims, and calling Spoony a hypocrite?

    You sir, are either an amazing troll, or completely insane.

  • combipup

    > he obviously hates freedom

    lol. what?

  • Stephrosyne

    Large breasts can cause back pain….I know someone who was on her way to an F-cup by age 16 and had to get a breast reduction because of the effects it was having on her posture and back.

  • DJGamer

    When I played Final Fantasy X I thought it was pretty good, fun game, and I didn't really mind the voice acting that much, but I don't think I was that critical of voice acting at the time-I wonder if I played it now having actually had acting training and become a bit more cynical if I could actually tolerate it as well. lol

    Finnal Fantasy IX is a pretty awesome game, has a pretty descent story except for one point when near the end when Zidane gets all emo-I never really liked that because what made him so great as a character is that he played AGAINST all those archetypes and was basically the anti-Cloud/Squall-type-character. The art direction didn't really bother me at all, I found it to be a bit charming, actually-and it fits with the slightly more light-hearted feel of the story. I really hope that someday you can get over that and actually give the game a chance-you may be pleasantly surprised-and even if you aren't you can make another video griping about it so it's win-win (sort of lol).

  • mrstillman

    Wow Spoony, I totally feel the same way. You should review some of the gay ass music being produced these days. It is right up your alley…your alley of hell.

    Actually, on a more serious note, could you pleas, PLEASE review the Book of Eli? That is the worst movie I have seen in a long time. Hands of Fate was better!

  • taranaich

    And there are women in my family who have G cups and don't suffer any problems: everyone's different. Sometimes posture and a good bra can alleviate it, sometimes not. The fact that she was 16 indicates she would probably have gone even larger if left alone, plus the rest of her was still growing. I'm not saying back problems don't exist: I'm just saying it isn't universal, which seems to be a thing that comes up all the time whenever large breasts are discussed.

  • ZeroExillerius

    Well, this should be fun. I gotta say though, FFX is still one of my favorite FFs that I've played. Sure, Tidus is a whiner…but at least he's realistic situation-wise and not the King of Ellipses. And the battle system rocked.

    …But Spoony, you dealt a heartfelt blow to me when you said you didn't like FFIX. The art design? Really? The sprites used in the older FFs were no less super-deformed. And Zidane's one of the best FF heroes to date, not to mention the game's story is leagues ahead of VII's in my opinion.

    Oh well…to each his own. I agree Blitzball is dumb, too. Think it was more of an “awe factor” thing…I mean, it was the first Final Fantasy on the PS2, what better way to show off how amazing the graphics looked? Gigantic water spheres of doom.

  • Ashenge

    I listened to that entire podcast way back when. I know you don't wanna be the Final Fantasy guy, but it's this kinda stuff that gives you the most to talk about. Your best material comes out here. And it doesn't even have to be a bad game. Linkara reviewed X-Men #1, a respectably well-crafted comic which has alot of sarcastic asides which you can throw at. I enjoyed it more than his justified rants about shitty comic craftsmanship, really. So… I guess it's really the sarcasm that I come into these things for, and not so much the years-too-late deconstruction of all these game's/movie's/comic's shortcomings.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruno-Miguel-Barreto-Freitas/568513794 Bruno Miguel Barreto Freitas

    “Listen to my story” xD

    When I played my second time this game my reaction was the same “Fuck you, your story sucks”

  • sprode

    That thing about hating a game that everyone likes for me is XII… not that I really hate it, not that it's a bad game, but I never got into it. On the other hand, I really liked X, although honestly it was my first foray into FF. In any case, I was privy to lots of trash from the new self-righteous fanboys who trumpet this new direction as the pinnacle of the series.

    Final Fantasy fanboys are hilarious. They want to be snooty afficianados, drinking their FF with their pinkies up and impressed with the inherent wrongness of their opinions. Getting up in arms if you trash their favorite cheap wine seasoned with the bitterness of their tears as they make utter fools of themselves.

  • thegodemperor

    How could you NOT give FF9 a chance? It's the superior FF. The best musical composition of the series (It's Nobou's favorite) with awesome characters that aren't lame in nearly anyway, great systems for the gameplay, etc. Hell, event he CREATOR of Final Fantasy, Sakaguchi, said it is his personal favorite. You can't get more proof that FF9 is the best when the creator says it's his personal favorite. It's got the good ol' feeling of the original pre-FF7 FFs with better pacing to boot. Hell, I loved FF6 too, but the pacing sucked donkey balls like most of the pre-FF6 FFs. Sure they improved as FF went along, but 9 had perhaps the best all around everything in FF ever.

    Ah well, give it a shot, Spoony! You'll see it's damn good.

  • thegodemperor

    Zidane gets depressed for a reasonable GOOD reason at least. His entire existence, what he found out about it finally and all that. Sure would normally drive someone to a little bit of depression. At least it doesn't last terribly long lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andres-Ortiz/1124227273 Andres Ortiz

    OMG i haven`t entered in this site a time ago, like just a week ago i got a copy of ffx over here because i remembered your review of ff8, i actually like it, isn`t great but whatever it wasn`t that bad, whatever i just entered your site thinking “hey spoony isn`t going to do a ffx review”… and here you are and is fucking hilarious, love when you do this reviews with that excentric super sarcastic tone, fishes with grandes… my god i loled so hard and your rage, i haven`t played the whole game yet, i`m just like 4 hours in just “rescued” Yuna from al bhed in that Luca city,is that city the gold saucer of ffx? anyway hope to keep up my gameplay with your reviews, just for knowing what you are talking about
    Good f**king work keep it up

  • CitizenSnips2

    Oh thank you Spoony. I considered myself a pretty big FF fan until X came along and ruined that. Ive havent been back to the series since. I hated the protagonist with the fury of a thousand suns. Your reaction to him is almost exactly my own. I wanted to punch that fruity little waif of a man in the face every time he opened his mouth. During the eventual romance scene I covered my face and prayed my parents wouldnt come into the living room right then and there. They would have been rightfully convinced that they were witnessing a lesbian kissing scene. As for FF9 it was alright but forgetable. Protagonist was annoying but had the good fortune of not having a voice actor. I beat the game back in the day but I cannot remember the plot at all, if that tells you anything about its quality. I actually remember and liked FF8 much much better, though maybe I was just young and stupid back then.

  • CitizenSnips2

    Also to those getting mad at Spoony saying FFX was “universally loved by critics” and considered a classic, amazing game should also consider the same was said about FF8. In fact the average critic score posted on Gamespot has them scoring almost exactly the same. Doesnt change the fact that there are horrible flaws in both which seem very polarizing. Either you can ignore those flaws and absolutely love the game or the flaws nag at you until you cant stand the game, as is my case with FFX.

  • neonfox3

    Hello Mr. HidanTheMan,
    shut the fuck up and get off his fuckin site you dumbass, you're wasting your time writing this retarded comment and repeatedly coming back to this site, get that diseased cock out of your ear and listen up, if you don't like his stuff, fuck off. i understand that you have the freedom to do whatever you want, that's fine. but unless this wonderful man actually posted the words “i hate freedom” you sir, are making a fuckin idiot out of yourself.

    go jack yourself off and cum into your dad's ass so he can shit it out into your mom's fuckhole while she's giving oral to a hamster.

    fuck you.

  • LordsAndWolves

    Spoony, Did you even pay attention to the story? Auron promised Jecht to protect Tidus (and it's pronounced Teedus by the way) so he never considered to let Tidus fall.

    And Tidus actually matured towards the end of the game. He got to know he is a dream and said ''You've been dreaming for a long time huh?'' Fayth: ''Yes, but once you defeat sin we will stop dreaming. And the dream will dissappear. Is it ok?'' ''I'm grateful.'' Or something along those lines.

    And FFX International and the PAL version were WAY BETTER than the US version. As they both included extra bosses, subtitles for quotes in fights, damage notifier text with more width and tons of other things had been added/fixed in it.

    And with the Sphere Grid you can uber power every character in the game too max stats: 255 or 225 can't remember.

    I'm not a raging fanboy (Although it might seem like I am) I just wanted to tell you most of this.

    The review made me laugh my ass off though. And ''Meg Ryan'' made me laugh my ass off.

  • Booze Zombie

    I was rather taken with Lulu's amazing body, as well.
    I doubt she has back pain, though, she looks very strong she ain't got a “corset waist”.

    Anyways, I enjoyed this video like you wouldn't believe, man.

    Keep up the good work.

    P.s: I hate that blonde bastard, too. Self-centred git that he is…

  • capthavic

    @11:40

    oh dear god no it's cloverfield, get me outta here!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sonny-Sukanen/1339796351 Sonny Sukanen

    Actually Blitzers hold their breath via pyreflies. And yes, it is explained in the game. Foo!

    • Anonymous

      Woah, you mean they put insects in their mouths? Eew, how do they not swallow those things? Hey wait a second, how does putting an insect in one’s mouth allow him to breathe underwater?

  • TheKcritic

    Ive never been a fan of FF anyways, but if anyone has any idea on which one i could start with

  • http://tsukihidayo.wordpress.com/ Daniel Lind

    Woah. Nice to have you back on what you do the best.

    While all the rant and overacting is a bit too hilarious to take seriously, you nailed some of the most prominent flaws with every Final Fantasy since that god damn installment number 7. Absolutely retarded and outlandish design just for the sake of being outlandish. They don't even think how anything in their games would work. Yes, Fantasy, whatever. It still should make sense. And even when they try to justify it, at best you're gonna get “It's magic I ain't gonna explain shit”.

    FFX had nice, albeit horribly illogical, visuals (Which FF13 has as well), lots and lots of cutscenes which hurt the gameplay as a whole because even if it was about the story, the story sucks (FF13 has the very same issue). So… yeah.

  • http://tsukihidayo.wordpress.com/ Daniel Lind

    >Final Fantasy X is a masterpiece, nobody can deny this
    So what? It got critical praise. Sure thing, can't deny scores from game magazines and tabloids.
    But can we trust said magazines? This “masterpiece” which is a bloody mainstream video game which isn't even ten years old! Modern media knows so many cases in which absolutely horrible abortions of entertainment were highly praised by “critics” (lol, what is a video game critic anyway? why do I trust those guys?) and liked by crowd (crowd in general is usually tasteless and knows no better, it doesn't take a lot to impress it.).

    Doesn't make this game less overrated.
    Case closed, you're a major douchebag and you have no opinion of your own.

  • Wampthang23

    But you do have to admit…that past Vaan, whom i never really thought was near as whiny as a common FF lead, (Cloud being the most pitiful, then Tidus, then Squall) the rest of the characters were great. The story IMO is also unmatched. It wasnt a complex, silly mess. Another delight…NO MINIGAMES. Wouldn't you agree? I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

  • Wampthang23

    IMO: FFX was far and away the best battle system. I recently purchased XIII and even it falls short. I think the best thing for the series would be for them to stop making them in Japan. No offense to the Japanese, but their concept of cool and cutting edge is very far removed from what American audiences are really wanting in an RPG. I really enjoy the site and hopes everyone will continue to support, even if you don't agree with Noah. Thanks all.

  • Wampthang23

    But you do have to admit…that past Vaan, whom i never really thought was near as whiny as a common FF lead, (Cloud being the most pitiful, then Tidus, then Squall) the rest of the characters were great. The story IMO is also unmatched. It wasnt a complex, silly mess. Another delight…NO MINIGAMES. Wouldn't you agree? I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

    • Anonymous

      FFXII’s Vaan was far more annoying than any other. And Panelo was pointless. The others felt like they were very useless to the story as well. The only three that really had some importance was Ashe, Balthier, and what’s his name, the disgraced captain. Basch? Whatever. The story wasn’t very interesting at all, sure the idea of being a simple empire out to take over the world and doing it isn’t so bad, but they really didn’t do it well. Most of the time it felt like it wasn’t even in the foreground OF the game.

      The gameplay was terrible too. The license grid was boring and shit until the “International Version” which only Japan got iirc where they made it more toward what FFXIII has. Job set ups for the license grid so it was more like you choose a single path for players. The monster hunting was tidious most of the time, the music was rather dull, the battle system was fairly boring compared to other FFs. I really don’t like FFXII. It’s by no means a terribad game I’d say, but it’s just.. mediocre at best.

      And why do you think Cloud was whiny? lol He wasn’t whiny at all. He was somewhat pitiful, but he did go through some serious actual mental trauma and fucked up experimentation from Hojo. That’s at least more acceptable than Squall’s emotardedness. Tidus had a few stupid moments, true. But his daddy issues at least made sense. His dad did treat him like shit. Spoony makes funny jokes about it being justified, but considering TIdus was still a kid and developing, his dad being an ass wasn’t justified yet lol. Future Tidus being whiny every now and then doesn’t justify his father being a prick in the past lol. I don’t particularly like Tidus, mind you, but I don’t hate him either.

  • CalebTheTimeTraveler

    Hopefully this time, I won't have to wait 2 years for this to finish.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Dean/1677680454 Robert Dean

    It depends on what kind of graphics you can handle. This series hit its peak at the playstation 1.

    The can't miss final fantasies IMO, are 1, 4, 6, 7 and 9. Note that 4 and 6 were released in the US as 2 and 3. TO prevent any further confusion about it, the main characters in those games are Cecil and Terra, respectively.

    I would start where almost every gamer under the age of 21 started RPGing – FF7. Just one of the greatest games ever made, which is why 8, 10 and 13 are such let downs – convoluted plots, too many douchechilly moments, and in the case of 13, the game has been transformed into a hallway walker with limited battles, allowing almost no customization and taking the controller out of the players hands.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Dean/1677680454 Robert Dean

    Once you get past 13, shouldnt take long, its gonna be a long time before we get another installment in the main FF series. Go back and play nine. Other than the inexplicable boss fight from nowhere, it was a really good game. I had my doubts about it from the day I saw the first screenshots, but I was pleasantly surprised that I hadnt been able to put the controller down until I reached disc 4.

  • AggsOfSpades

    I have to admit I am pumped to see you doing another long review like FF8. I'll admit, the while it is one of my favorites, I can understand that the art style for FF9 was kinda hard to deal with. At least you admitted that you weren't giving it a fair shake.

    Anyway, I hope that you have fun with this review and look forward to seeing it play out.

  • http://smellslikegeekstink.blogspot.com Jenny

    Hey, cool, I didn't think you would actually do this, but it'll be fun to see you tear this game apart.

  • CalebTheTimeTraveler

    Teen Titans.
    That's what FFXIV was like. The Teen Titans animated show. So good, but looked so bad.

  • Nanite

    Vaugely worth mentioning that most of the whining in 9 comes from Garnet, not Zidane. He's surprisingly well adjusted and light-hearted, bar a short period towards the end. “No Cloud nor Squall shall hinder us!” indeed.

  • doesteovsky

    Oh boy, this is gonna be good.

    I have to admit that I enjoyed FF-X when I played it. The battle system is very good, the Sphere Grid (once you got used to it) allowed for a lot of character customization, and the game was quite pretty to look at. The story falls flat on its ass, though, and a lot of it is just plain nonsensical, and the temple puzzles were infuriating, but overall it's not a -bad- experience, just… kind of mediocre. Good gameplay, maudlin story, characters you want to strangle… still, at least it was fun to play (by contrast to FF-VIII, which would have been workable if it had been -any fun to play at all-).

    I would suggest giving IX a chance if you have an opportunity, though; the design may not be your cup of tea, but the game itself is pretty good once you give it a chance. It has a nice story, and by and large doesn't take itself too seriously. And as somebody else mentioned, Zidane is actually pretty goofy and light-hearted until a little section near the end of the game, and he gets over it fairly quickly; you really don't have to deal with a lot of whining and angsting, thankfully.

  • coughman

    on the subject of BlitzBall:

    i remember hating that annoying minigame when i first played the game as well, especially when they FORCE you to play it later on, but on thing about your argument bugs me, i dont see how you dont get the giant floating ball of water, i mean yeah blitzball is still god damn awful, but the fact that theres a giant floating ball of water is the LEAST confusing part about it, i mean they summon water as an attack spell, i dont think its that hard to get the fact that they can summon large amounts of water and keep it floating, but everything ELSE about your argument was perfect

    i never got that whole underwater breathing thing, i thought they had some kind of breathing device at first, but know you see them quite clearly just holding their breath…. you know, maybe their hair is solar powered, maybe they dont breath air in this game, but use their weird multicolored hairdos as their life force…. eh whatever

  • psychoarsonist

    When I played Final Fantasy IX I will admit that it took me a VERY long time to get over the horrible art direction but once I just ignored the design, I found it to be a lot of fun and it actually became my favorite 3D Final Fantasy game mainly because its like if the old 2D games like VI were made into 3D even though its still not as good as the 2d games.

    In Final Fantasy X, I absolutely hated everything except for the surprisingly fun battle system. I really fucking hated that fucking retarded Blitz ball shit which has since then become my most hated rpg mini game. Besides Auron, the entire voice cast was awful with Yuna being particularly painful and lifeless. I found that almost every line of dialogue was uncomfortable and awkward to watch and listen to and the cutscenes just felt wrong mainly because I don't think the english voices match up with them very well.

  • Silk05

    You really need to try FF9. I know the first time I looked at the characters and everything It was kind of a let down. But once I started playing… It's a really good FF game! I got really sucked in the story and characters.

    I also tried FF8 but I didn't even finish disc 2 because it was really boring (in my opinion, I must say that I played FF9 before I started playing 8).

    In my opinion: FF-X is an ok game. And FF-XII…. what.. a piece of shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Peter-OBoyle/100000176442519 Peter O'Boyle

    Well, I've always had an impressionable love of the Final Fantasy games…sadly, it started with 7 and I never recovered. I loved 8 and 10 when I first played them, but as I grew older and replayed them, I noticed nit picky things I used to always ignore when I was 10. For example, Blitzball. The first time I saw it, I thought this was the coolest sport ever invented. Then I thought about the holding breath for absurd amount of time thing, and I was able to suspend belief on that. But as I entered 7th grade physics, I discovered it was all impossible and my childhood fantasy was destroyed. I'm currently rebuilding bits and pieces with 1-6, but I'll never retain that wonder I had with the impossible technology from 8-10. Then there was X-2. My god…I had to lie to myself that the game was good to beat it + the strategy guide to get through it as fast as possible…

  • Gambler_Justice

    Glad to see you are reviewing this. It brings back a lot of good memories.
    I've never quite understood how some absolutely love X and others utterly despise it, with few people in the middle. Myself, I thought it was nearly perfect in all aspects. But maybe that's because it's the first Final Fantasy game I played – and the first game I played with cutscenes. Hell, I remember knowing only a few words in English when I played it my first time, so the amount of new and exciting things in it for me might have been why I have such fond memories of it. I have replayed it quite a few times along the years though, and I still do consider it an excellent game.

  • sleepdead

    Well perhaps the fact that all of them are dead is the reason they can hold their breath for five minutes while playing shitty gay blitzball?

  • douglasjaglowski

    Way back when, this was the first final fantasy I had played since ff6 and I loved it. For the next 3-4 years I tried beating it and eventually I finally did. I was so hard to muscle through because I had work on admitting to myself how much I hated ffx. This game is awefull and there are many things wrong with it and I hate but I least I beat the motherfucker. I am now scarred against final fantasy because of it though.

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    I don't get it. I loved Final Fantasy X over all, and I enjoy both Tidus and Rikku as characters. I know that Tidus looks like an idiot sometimes (the worst scene being the one in Luca; the game even admitting so), but he doesn't seem half as immature as people say he is in my opinion. I agree that Rikku being a sex symbol is just plain stupid, but as a character, I don't have a problem with her.

    I don't know what it is. I've played every Final Fantasy since XII (the first one I played), and I'm now catching up with I – VI. Most aspects of these games that people find annoying or stupid (the routine “Yuffie” character) I love. The things that people find incredible (Cloud, Sephiroth, and somehow Leon) I find retarded.

    My favorite characters in VII – XII are Red XIII (never gets mentioned), Yuffie (hated by many), Zell (probably hated by many, but I find him funny), Tidus (extremely hated by many), Rikku (also extremely hated by many), Wakka (he's no big deal), Zidane (Monkey-boy is awesome, favorite of all time), Amarant (just badass), and Vaan (who is also hated by many).

    Do people over exaggerate? Are they overthinking? Underthinking? Am I just simple?

    Why do so many people hate the stuff that I find to be really good?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Slothboyadvance Matt Bahr

    Opinions vary. Simple as that.

  • doesteovsky

    Just chiming in to agree about Nanaki/Red XIII. He never gets mentioned, but he was my favorite character from VII. (Then again, I suppose that most of the compilation stuff doesn't show him primarily because of how awful it is to render fur, and he is a fluffy sonofabitch.)

    As to why people dislike things you like… it's all a matter of opinion. A lot of people somehow enjoyed Final Fantasy VIII, and I do question their taste (a lot), but it's all opinion and there ain't nothin' wrong with that.

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    I guess that is all true, but I just find it really irritating hearing it from so many people. And it really is a lot of people who say the same things over and over. I try not to let it get to me, but it's hard when you see that not so many people share the same opinion as you.

  • ThomasFishwick

    I've spent a lot of time thinking about replying to this. I hope it's worth it. I agree with EVERYTHING you say here Spoony. I've gone as far as post a response on my blog: http://mountainscrapbook.blogspot.com/2010/03/w

    But I will post my summary here:-

    “Final Fantasy X was a massive disappointment to me and it coloured my view on RPGs and modern consoles forever. I gave XII a chance and while the burns weren't as deep they still hurt. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of playing the new XIII. Even though Blitzball is gone and the characters are getting a little better the core problem I have outlined here has not changed and no matter what I keep coming back to this point

    These games aren't games. They are sub-par, cliché riddled, poor stories masquerading as interactive cartoons that actively prevent you from enjoying the plot by forcing you complete pointless and suffocating tasks in a vain excuse to make the exorbitant fee required feel justified. “

    Looking forward to the next part. Keep up the good work!

  • mobtank

    You know guys, I live in Sweden and here the legal age is 15, so I do not have a problem with liking a character that is 15.

    I do however have a big problem with Riku's extremely stupid looking outfit.
    Seriously it looks ridiculous and I would have a problem with it no matter the age of it's bearer.

    The stupid sexy cosplayer and the boob-mage, um… sorry, black mage are hawt though.

    On a different note, really glad to see you do FF X Spoony, I have played this game, could not stand it, been wishing to see it get the attention of someone like you for a long time :)

  • CalifornyaRIP

    I used to watch my brother play this game all the time when he was hogging the TV and I didn't have anything better to do. I even played into the story for a few hours.
    It was my first exposure to the series, and holds a very special place in my heart.
    Needless to say, I can't wait to watch you tear it to fucking shreds, Spoony. This is going to be very fun.

  • A_Big_Fan

    Spoony,

    When I saw that you were doing another one of your classic Fanwankery reviews, I nearly shat myself. I used to think you were one of the funniest reviewers out there, and still to this day I go back and watch your old movies and laugh myself blue! However, once the movie started up, I was blown away by the acting, hysterics, and jokes…and not in a good way, either.

    Spoony, as others have said, this movie feels forced and overacted. I feel as if I have no sense as to who you are as a reviewer anymore–everything that I found made you funny seems to have disappeared, and I feel like I'm watching a screaming Nostalgia Critic rip-off who's clearly trying too hard to be funny. You don't feel…what's the word? Genuine. I miss your cool, levelheaded (though hilariously angry!) reviews, without all the fasttalking, mindless screaming, gimmicky characters, and hysterics. You don't need all that stuff, Spoony. I think I finally lost you after the first several SWAT 4 reviews.

    That being said, the arguments you bring up were great. I totally agree with you. I didn't like FFX either. And I understand with what you said about being unable to get into FF9. I felt the same way about FF7. I still haven't beaten the game and have given up on doing so. I only can get about 2 hours into the game before I stop. The art in that game just appalls me to no end. I can't get into the game; I feel so disconnected by those deformed, Lego-esque, terrible abominations on my screen.

  • stanzie

    THIS IS FABULOUS. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART.

    The first time i played this game was when i was ten, but for some reason the fucking sphere grid confused me so much that i never actually got around to beating it until i was about twelve (by that time i'd actually figured out how to work with the sphere grid) and i enjoyed it…sort of…In retrospect, it was basically torture. I remember turning the volume WAYYYYY down on the tv during a bunch of fmvs because of the voice acting and the cheesiness, (the lake make-out scene was one of them) I was that embarrassed to be seen playing it by my parents.

    One of the things that makes this extra sweet is the fact that my ex bf LOVED THIS SHIT. To this day, he's still going on about how “THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY GAMES THAT MADE ME CRY, IT'S SO TOUCHING,” and his Yuna fetish was just icky. There's nothing wrong with liking a female character, but it's just creepy when you're projecting that character onto your GIRLFRIEND who in reality has only a vague physical resemblance to her and no resemblance whatsoever in personality. Unfortunately, I seem to come across a lot of fanboys like that.

    Anyway, I'm so glad you're doing this, I died laughing at your Tidus rage throughout the vid, because it's just SO TRUE.

  • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

    HA! I hated FF10 so much I broke the cycle. I haven't played a Final Fantasy since 9. Except for a brief stint in 11. How could you hate the art design of FF9? It looks like the old games but in 3D! Zidane isn't a furry, he's just a dude with a monkey tail. A furry is a bipedal humanoid that is MOSTLY animal. … So FREYA'S the furry.

    Even then there's a distinct difference between anthropomorphic animals and furries. I mean, the Looney Toons, for example aren't furrries, they're cartoon animals. Furry indicates the batshit subculture more than anything. And Balto-esque anthro-animals with giant cocks and rainbow hair.

  • TheFeydakin

    Yes down with furries! We will CLAIM THIER WATER. FOR SHAI HALUD!

  • Duke of New York A#1

    Send that game to the island…..and remove it's spleen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    Blitzball is a lot fun who cares if its real or not.

    One of the best mini-games in any RPG

    But I hated how they changed in X-2(I don't like that game I just dislike it)

    Triple Triad kicks ass
    Terra master in IX sucks

    The snowboarding mini game in VII was sweet

    James Arnold Taylor does the voice of Tidus he also does the voice of ratchet from Ratchet and Clank games(He's done all of them expect for the first game)

    John DiMaggio does the voice of Wakka and Kimahri Ronso. He also known as the voice of Macus Fenix from Gears of War and Bender from the cartoon Futurama

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Tew/100000481115934 James Tew

    Love the review. Even more I love how you hate Tidus's “Arch Hall Jr. face”. MST3K EEGAH goodness!

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    Squall is not a emo prick

    I'm tired of hearing that he had a rough childhood and because of he made himself into a lone wolf so he wouldn't have rely on others and get hurt.

    He didn't want to be leader but Fate had other planes for him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Allison-Hanna/1460142119 Allison Hanna

    I have that same art design problem with One Piece. All of my friends tell me One Piece is a great series, but the art just leaves me so disgusted and mollified, I can't read a single page. I'm sorry, the art is just… ugly. :/

    Although I think Spoony would like FF9. It's one of my favorite games, and sweet relief after FF8. It's got the quirky humor, and actually, Zidane isn't a whiny sissy boy! He's optimistic, enthusiastic, and a pretty funny womanizer; it's refreshing after having to deal with Squall, the so-called “Master of the Ellipsis.” Sure, the art is cutesy, but it is a total throwback to the older games in the series.

  • SkullCrusher

    Not that I have to tell you, ignore the fanboys and keep up the great work…..brudda.

  • LordNoctis

    Nice review so far Spoony. I kinda liked FFX but I totally see where your coming from. It was certainly a step down from ix.

    Speaking of which, you really should give FFIX a solid chance. The art style sucks, I agree with you on that. But the story is well worth it. If you can ignore your dislike for the art style I would definetely reccomend it.

  • LordNoctis

    Nice review so far. I almost totally agree with you on Tidus and Wakka. Aside form them I thought x was ok, but nothing special.

    If I were you though, I would definetely give FFIX another chance. It is way better than either VIII or X. In fact I would say its story is almost on par with VII or VI. Granted the art style sucks, but the story and characters are more than worth it.

  • Toreka

    I know this is all supposed to be taken as a joke, and in fact it's pretty funny. You're very good at this, and I like almost all of your other videos. However, this is extremely painful for me to watch. I don't agree with any of it, and I would even go as far as to say that it seems like you hate it because of the “American view point” on these kinds of things.

    If it isn't American enough, it won't be liked by many Americans. If it thinks too far outside of the box to the point where it doesn't appear to make sense, it won't be liked by many Americans. And really, if you didn't pick things apart and bash every last thing in the game because it's “kinda off” or doesn't suit your taste, you wouldn't have a lot to say against the game.

    And why do you say that blitzball is most of the game? You're only forced to play it once, and you don't even need to win. Back when I was playing this game, a friend of mine was playing it as well and she hated blitzball just as much as you do, calling it a “stupid pointless mini-game.” I actually liked it, and I honestly didn't care one bit that people in this world can apparently breathe underwater. Why should it matter? Anyway, after I explained it to her and showed her what it was about, she became addicted to it. I had never heard of anyone who didn't like blitzball besides her, so I have a hard time seeing your point of view on it. Regardless, if you don't like it you shouldn't worry about it. Very simple.

    I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a fangirl with no sense of humor, I just feel really torn watching one of my favorite reviewers bash one of my favorite games like this. I don't know why Final Fantasy tortures you so much, but it did a great deal in keeping my imagination intact when most others around me were becoming soulless jerks, so I guess I feel like I owe it a debt of gratitude.

  • JoeyJoeJoeJrShabadoo

    I wil admit, I've never played FF, but I find most of the games freaking stupid. Loved this review spoony dude!

  • dayofnight

    I love FFX, but I will admit, this is hilarious. I can't wait until you get into the sphere grid and blitzball minigame. In my opinion, that's the worse part of the game.

  • isaac232

    Dude, nothing wrong with furries.

  • Anonymous

    I’m kinda sore of the fact that the footage was by Sage but i’m not upset by just kinda wondering why you played it off like you were playing it. are you gonna get your own footage and this just be the intro or what?

    As for the game their are problems but i agree the combat is good and the “basic” story is generic but okay

    Blitzball sux/Sphere Grid is pointles/ rikku is annoying.
    Love your reviews!

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    This is how I felt while watching this. Almost exactly. Spoony is my favorite online personality and FFX is one of my favorite games. Though it's funny, it still feels odd watching this be bashed so harshly by him.

    The review of FFVIII is what got me hooked on Spoony in the first place and I agreed with everything he said all throughout the review. But I find myself disagreeing with a lot of what's being said already.

  • Ashley

    I do agree with Lyrander with what they said about FF9. To be honest, I only played FF9 for a few hours and thought it wasn’t that great. Then my boyfriend talked me into playing it again and stick with it, I ended up saying it was the best one so far. I didn’t really play FF until 10 came out since I didn’t get a PlayStation one or two when they first came out. So the order that I actually played them was 10, 10-2 (that was torture and I would rather have 8 then that), 7, 9, 8, that Dirge of Cerberus, and finally 12.never played 13 and I am half afraid to try it since FF titles for playstation is not really catching my interest anymore. The only thing I have to add about FF9 is that I found it a fun and colorful game. The characters were more appealing to me then Squall or Cloud.

    As for 10, I am half afraid to see what you are going to say about the problems I had with the game. The two main things that set me off was the damn grid system thing or whatever it was called and the temples where you get the Aeons. Which I think you had to get a certain item or something to get the last two Aeons, its been awhile since I played it. I only remember doing more work to get them unlike the other ones.

    Although I’m not really tearing 10 apart as much as I do with the 10-2.The only reason why i thought it was made for was just for the soul purpose of fan service. It was just bad…….the only thing I actually liked was the scene where Yuna sings a thousand words.

    Anyway I can’t wait for part 2 because I love hearing what you have to say.

  • johnnyfog

    Squall is no leader, and it goes beyond the limits of necessary plot convenience to believe he'd ever be such a thing. He's the “leader” precisely because he's the most stoic, leather-clad, monosyllabic pretty boy on the team.

    Heck, I'd believe Irvine as the main hero sooner than I'd buy into Squall taking command.

  • remsicle

    I have to agree with you about the art in games, if I don't really enjoy it, it's difficult to like a game. I mean, how can you really ignore the art? You're staring at it for hours and hours. I started RPGs with X, like many non-gamers so it has a place in my heart. I just love it. Then I played backwards, 9, 8, 7 – 9 was alright though I didn't like the childish character design, but I never finished it, got kinda bored somewhere around the third disc. I liked the -potential- in 8, but the story was lame (it could have been so much more interesting) and the grinding was boring. And I'm going to be struck by lightening for saying this, but I hated 7. I just haaated it. Mainly for the art, and there were such long drags of that game that were boring. I didn't finish that one either. I mean if I dislike the art (and I reaaaaally did for that one) I'm not going to be interested enough to care about the story.

    So X is still my favorite, and mainly for Auron (who is fucking AWESOME) and the battle system, which is the best battle system of any RPG I've ever played, omg. It's a beautiful thing. I have to admit, I also love the cutscenes, when you get to that 'museum' where you can watch them towards the end I would always rewatch all my favorites.

    I did not like Tidus that much either lol (even though he does get less stupid towards the end) but y'know who's the worst? I hated, hated hated, with every fiber of my soul hated, Yuna. I HATE YUNA. She is the epitome of a useless love interest character. She's supposed to have this character development you'd think would be interesting – the faith she's lived her entire life is a lie, and she finds she's being used and sacrificed to hide mistakes her religion made long ago and – and – and nothing. It's like whothefuckcares. She's such a cliche'd heroine with no real personality and becomes useless about halfway through the game (seriously once i got the Ultimate Weapons I stopped using the Aeons) and she's just bland and colorless and GAH. [/rant]

    Haha I cannot wait until you talk about Seymour – if you think Wakka's hair is ridiculous. And his mommy issues ALMOST trumps Tidus' daddy issues. However, his aeon is fucking awesome. I mean I love Seymour. Because he's crazy. But he's also ridiculous.

    I guess that can sum up this game to me. I love it, but it's ridiculous.

  • Chase

    FF10 is… …okay. I can't say I like any of the characters (Auron doesn't count. I think he might be a Time Lord who wandered into that realm), the story fizzles down to nothing, and I will forever remember the WORSE voice acted moment in that game and in FF history. NO, not the laughing scene. I liked that scene actually. The bad laughter was supposed to be horrid. No, I'm talking about the “no you!” reply of Tidus once you meed up with Jecht at the end of the game. He just has to have the camera zoom in on his face, and what comes from Tidus's mouth is “I hate you!”, but in this wussy, whiny voice. GAH!

    Ya know Spoony, with Final Fantasy growing more and more futuristic, and the sub-par quality from FF13, it's a safe bet the series won't be picking up too well as time goes on. FF6 (er, well, it's called “FF3″ for the SNES, but it's officially 6) is THE best one of them all. Great story, awesome characters, kick ass music and design… Good times… You should look into it if you haven't played it.

  • veelk

    A pleasure watching!!

    Even hardcore FFX fans just cant stand blitzfukk.
    I loved the ass shots!!!! (Didnt you miss a hidden ass shot at 23:51 ?? because im pretty sure that looks like someone's arse!!!)

    Wakka loves round things… Interesting!! =O –AND THAT INCLUDES Lulu's boobs.

    The thing i dont like about Auron is that, that's the only character everyone seems to like hahahaha!

    The beginning of the game is fun compared to what is to come!!! It gets sadder and boring at the end of the game.

    Aaaahhhh!!!! It's Tidus' face at the end of the video!!! Nooooo my brain!!!!

  • Lyrander

    On FF9:
    If you can get past the art design, I think you'll really like FF9. It was pretty much a huge love letter to the old school FF games as well as a few western plays (like King Lear). Heck, Garland himself makes an appearance! Everyone has a clearly defined class, the combat system is the best implementation of the Active Time Battle system I've seen in any FF game, and all of the generic parts are there to either pay homage to the old school games or to let the story step aside and say, “Hmm, what? You want me to step aside for a bit and let the characters be interesting and likable? Okay. I'll be over here getting the Four Fiends ready to follow up the character development with awesomeness.” Zidane himself is in fact, a cheerful pervert who thinks that whining and angst is for pussies who don't deserve to get laid. And let us not forget the off hand joke they make at Chicken Hair and Emo Gi- er- Cloud and Squall's expense in the King Lear opening. I'll admit, it isn't perfect (the Trance system in fact is the worst Limit Break system in the series in my opinion), and if the art design is really enough to ruin the game for you, then it's good to see you can admit that you're being unfair to what is otherwise a great game. I really can't say much else. If you can get past the look, then give it a go. If you can't, then at least you still have the old school games on your shelf. Wow, I'm a huge loser for typing all of that up, aren't I?

    On FF 10:
    So, what crude names are you giving the Aeons?

  • Lyrander

    On FF9:
    If you can get past the art design, I think you'll really like FF9. It was pretty much a huge love letter to the old school FF games as well as a few western plays (like King Lear). Heck, Garland himself makes an appearance! Everyone has a clearly defined class, the combat system is the best implementation of the Active Time Battle system I've seen in any FF game, and all of the generic parts are there to either pay homage to the old school games or to let the story step aside and say, “Hmm, what? You want me to step aside for a bit and let the characters be interesting and likable? Okay. I'll be over here getting the Four Fiends ready to follow up the character development with awesomeness.” Zidane himself is in fact, a cheerful pervert who thinks that whining and angst is for pussies who don't deserve to get laid. And let us not forget the off hand joke they make at Chicken Hair and Emo Gi- er- Cloud and Squall's expense in the King Lear opening. I'll admit, it isn't perfect (the Trance system in fact is the worst Limit Break system in the series in my opinion), and if the art design is really enough to ruin the game for you, then it's good to see you can admit that you're being unfair to what is otherwise a great game. I really can't say much else. If you can get past the look, then give it a go. If you can't, then at least you still have the old school games on your shelf. Wow, I'm a huge loser for typing all of that up, aren't I?

    On FF 10:
    So, what crude names are you giving the Aeons?

  • TenchiMng

    It's not the American view point thing. He really likes the Shin Megami Tensei games and those are VERY Japanese.

  • Toreka

    I actually watched that Vlog and from what I remember he didn't “really like” them, but I understand your point. However, taking place in Japan and having a Japanese title simply means that it's Japanese, which was not my point.

    On another note, the Shin Megami Tensei series has never gotten to be more popular than the Final Fantasy series, and I have a feeling the overwhelming popularity of Final Fantasy had a role in Spoony's decision to bash the games. I wouldn't know whether he's doing it for the attention or not, but it's certainly succeeding in that. Everyone seems to want to see the Final Fantasy fans “get what they deserve” or something like that by having a beloved face tear the games apart.

  • TenchiMng

    I get your point, but he's isn't just tearing it apart because it's Final Fantasy. He likes the older games and doesn't like the direction it went (well actually he liked 12, see the end of his latest TNA Impact vlog). I understand his point of view, I'm a big Tenchi Muyo fan and I think everything past the first 2 ova's sucked pretty bad.

    As for the Shin Megami Tensei series. In one of his MegaVlog's he mentioned that He really enjoyed the story in Nocturne, Everything in Digital Devil Saga except for its ending, and Persona 3 he liked but it pissed him off a lot while playing. When he did his next vlog on Persona 3 and Persona 4 he said he had really liked Persona 4 so far and they had fixed a lot that he did not like in 3 (Sorry this is getting long). Now I havn't played Nocturne yet or DDS2 (but I have them) I played all of 3 FES and I'm playing 4 right now. 3 was very Japanese, you learned about different era's of Fuedal Japan while in the classroom and you also learned about the Samurai Masamune.

    I'd understand you're angle better maybe if you're just saying that he doesn't like the Dub and he should paly it in Japanese with the subtitles, but hell it's funny so I'm not complaining.

  • Toreka

    Well, it's not the dub, it's how he complains about the characters like Tidus and Rikku. Yeah, Tidus isn't exactly the typical “hero” like everyone wants, and his English dub I can kind of see as a little irritating (it doesn't bother me, but that's just a personal opinion), but I don't see how that necessarily “ruins the game.” And Rikku as a “sex idol” I can kind of see, but that shouldn't be disturbing just because American culture is different from Japan's, where it's much more widely accepted. What if a country's legal age was 21? They might look at some of the things made in the U.S. as disturbing because of their viewpoints on the issue.

    My main point was focused more on Spoony ranting about how ridiculous the game is, even though that's pretty much half of the charm. If the game were completely tame, all of the characters had conventional weapons, and all of the men had predictable haircuts, it would be fairly boring. The title states “Final Fantasy” and that's exactly what it is, a made-up fantasy. All I see when I watch this video is Spoony bashing imaginative thinking. He even makes fun of Tidus's fashion sense in an imaginary fantasy world. I don't see how this game would be any better with everything dulled and modern.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Patrick-MacIntyre/726213185 Justin Patrick MacIntyre

    This is exactly how most of us feel… the game is good and he's picking at it like a vulture, the meg ryan joke was hilarious, but not original. It just feels like a bunch of xenophobic bashing for the most part. Other than that it's funny, I just wish he'd point out more good things than purely ragging all over it.

  • Zalgoglaz

    I think I share the same stance as Spoony here with this game. The gameplay is good and the women are hot but the main character is as annoying as a wooden plank being lodged in my teeth. I haven't played all the way through (Mainly because I rage quit during a battle where I wasted my last phoenix down on a goddamn jelly fish) but I can say that whereas I didn't love the game it didn't suck so hard I couldn't stand it (Up until the jellyfish that is).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Linley/517622091 Joshua Linley

    I actually really enjoyed FFX…It's one of my faves actually…Considering how overrated FFVII is…But I am a bigger fan of the 8 bit and 16 bit games anyway….FFX is probably my favourite new school Final Fantasy game though.

    It is funny watching you nit pick the fuck outta FF games though :P

  • Anonymous

    X is by far the best game in the series

    Discuss

  • TheFeydakin

    Hey where did my comment go? Seriously, WTF?

  • TheFeydakin

    Whats really batshit about it is they think that they can post that stuff anywhere and everyone should just be ok with it.

    • http://www.saisasylum.com/ Sai

      Yeah if you can’t see the beauty of a squirrel with multiple body piercings and a 12 inch penis railing a skunk/lemur/raptor hermaphrodite with lactating nipples then you’re just a bigoted fursecutor.

      • Jerry Forbe

        hmm, that’s fairly specific…

  • melissia

    Oh god, I HATE Tidus. That whiny little BITCH.

    I could never finish the story of FFX because of that fucking twat, and there's not enough profanity in the world to describe my hate of the bitchy little twatbox shitbucket assfudge eating dipshit moron that is Tidus.

    I feel Spoony's pain… fuck tidus… fuck him with a giant's knife which is covered in acid, that is being shocked by electricity, which is also on fire, and triple-casts blizzaga, thundaga, firaga, ultima, and pearl on hit all at once. And it's rusty and poisoned, too.

  • komapsunida

    Haha!!! I love FFX but partly because it is pretty naff, I liked the battle system and the overall design :3 That said I found this review hilarious, I'm really looking forward to the next part(s) <3

    I do really really hate blitzball though :3

  • Predunter

    It's like playing tennis in a cube made of bees floating in outer space… haha :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Gotman/517276898 Jake Gotman

    Hey man don't hate on Bender from futurama…

    I mean Wakka.

  • ryanreilly

    Spoonyone's vids makes it worthwhile to wake up every day.

  • themoviebitch

    Good God thank you for pointing out all of the issues with a lot of the newer FF Series, though will have to say that FF 9, FF 12 are actually pretty good and FF 13 is not that bad so far, but I haven't played through the whole thing yet so I can't say.

  • themoviebitch

    Good god that was hysterical! I cannot wait for Part 2!

  • themoviebitch

    oops! Sorry about the double post!

  • StealthKnight

    -The weird hologram lamp post seems to have a tv program live. We can assume that those fangirls are their because they are ether waiting for tidus or waiting for someone to go to the stadium with.

    - If you can kill someone with a baseball you probably kill someone with a blitz ball. Let us assume that Wakka throws it really fast and hard.

    -As for the Rikku artwork, they have done it with other characters in the past that are both male and female's.

    -Tidus is energetic and confused about the world he is in. He forgets that it's a different time and he can't act the same way that he did at home. His voice is annoying but laughable.

  • NixieGirl

    I seriously thought Tidus was a girl when i first saw him. It wasn't till I heard him speak did I realize I was wrong…still, he's more believe as a woman and still just as annoying. I think the only character I like in this game was Cid, and he's barely in it!…and from Final Fantasy 7 but still….

    I think they up'ed the levels of cheesy one liners in this game to a whole new level and there are still some in Final Fantasy 13..but it looks like a pretty good game.

    Another great review Spoony! Can't wait for Part 2!

  • http://www.facebook.com/emran.ismail Emran Qadir Ismail

    I've been playing Final Fantasy XIII since it came out. I gotta say its a really good game after 10 hours. Once I got to part where Hope,Lighting,Snow and others started to developed their characters and we learn more about their backstory. Each character feels unique and it feels like they have a role(Unlike Cat Sith and Qunia) hell even Penlo and Vaan from XII start off bad but they get a bit better. In XII they really focus on the overall story and not the characters but still we still learn quite a few things about Baltheir,Ashe,Basch,Gabranth,Vanye,Cid etc..

    I didn't like Zidane as the main character I like Vivi much more Zidane's story was OK but I rather know more about Kuja or Vivi or someone else.

    XIII's combat really opens up and you have to know how to juggle combat roles and make sure you level up your characters and weapons and armor.

  • ihiryuu

    I really loved this video
    Personally I bought FFX…well when I was 10(Ha – see what I did there)
    So I didn't even notice the gaping plot holes, crappy clothing, or the bullshit that the game pushed down my throat.

    I only saw the positives like the “pretty girls”, the epic battle system, and the amazing graphical/audio improvements.
    But as you broke down the intro to FFX I saw so many of my old memories
    And at the same time I appreciated the game more…even if it's a lot more negative than I remembered.

    Thank you – if I ever feel down I'll watch this or a piece of your FF8 review.

  • douglasjaglowski

    When I actually knuckled down to beating this, I poured alot of hours into it just to get good enough and find the right items so I could beat it. I had played through it before and failed to beat it because I hadn't spent 800 million hours of constant tedium. So then, happy with my accomplishment, I felt I would focus on something more fun, something to bring my sanity back and I played FF12. It was then I lost my sanity when I realized that ff12 has an even steeper grind-fest requirement.

    The final fantasy games are no longer fun, they have degraded into a system that enforces power-leveling with a nuclear weapon. Do you like repetition, crappy storyline, constant never-ending bullshit power-leveling tedium? Then save your money and level up your teeth so they are strong enough to eat rocks. Then trying counting to Google repeatedly.

  • geoff2222

    spoony, this video ruled. i didnt think you were actually going to d ff X but im really glad you are. imo, ff8 was by far the best thing youve ever done up until now. you have a lot of other good stuff, but ff8 was just awesome. good video spoony, this may top ff8!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Borean/100000041163314 Michael Borean

    Your problem with FF9 is ENTIRELY understandable man. FF9 is uh lets see. My list of favorite FF games goes FF6 FF5 Tactics FF4 FF1 FF9 FF10 then I don't really care but X-2 and 8 share the bottom. I personally didn't mind FF10's story. Most of the time. The laughing bit annoyed the living fuck outta me. The story WAS totally linear, but the first time I played it, I didn't notice it at all. I also didn't mind blitzball but I was good at the mini game and collected lots of free stuff early. Also didn't Rikku toss him a breathing device? I kinda took that as what they used to breath.

    On the note of rikku, I think square aims these games AT teenagers so a 15 year old fits. At least I think they aim them at 15 year olds.

    EAT SLOWER TIDUS GODAMNIT. Yes. Tidus is stupid. An auroch btw, is something bovinish. I think. I thought they modeled Tidus after the dumbest people around anyway. At least he's not Squall. Or Zell.

    I am amused by the review please continue with the awesome.

  • CitizenSnips2

    Seconded

  • CitizenSnips2

    Im a little baffled by the Xenophobic comment as I really… have no clue how you come up with that. He's not gonna talk about good things because he doesnt like the game, and he's far from alone in thinking that.

  • http://twitter.com/embryonicboy Gary Curtis

    when spoony rants it's on the funniest things I have ever seen. great review.

  • ReJecht

    I can't wait for your views on Seymour. :P

  • Nemy10Dawg

    I love the Arch Hall and “Why doesn't Johnny care?” MST3K references! MOAR!

  • MitchellBandes

    I have some Aeon name suggestions, if you're willing to take them. (I think the character limit is 11?)

    Valefor: ValleyWhore
    Ifrit: Flame Pubes
    Ixion: Horny Horse
    Shiva: Chill Bitch
    Bahamut: DragonQueen
    Yojimbo: Mr. 47
    Anima: Joan Rivers
    Cindy: Fatso
    Mindy: Stinky
    Sandy: Stretch

  • Riesgoso

    Cool Video man. I can't wait for the next part.

    BTW Final Fantasy 13 SUCK!!! You would go crazy ranting about that piece of Shit.

  • suol

    I know this will take a while for you to get to, but when you start talking about the Thunder Plains, could you talk about the bullshit crazy requirement of having to dodge 200 consecutive bolts of lightning to obtain a sigil for Kimahri's ultimate weapon? That is some shit right there!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1346253807 Stephen Turner

    Insano!Kefka?! WE'RE DOOMED!

    But yeah, fantastic.

  • magus12000bc

    Actually, that little Potion bug at the end of the video isn't the first time Square overlooked something so glaring. In Chrono Cross, you can get infinite copies of General Viper's Level 7 Tech (Flagbearer) and Dragoon's Glory accessory which is one of the better accessories in the game.

  • somerussianguy

    Dear Spoony. Kimahri and Lulu actually have a cult following that rivals Aurons. I like Kimahri myself. And he had that awesome intruductory cutscene. I really hope you'll give him more developent, you know, other than Chubaka.

  • Critical Marine

    Let's see my thoughts on Titus… He's the hero, disgusting hair, wearing one half shorts, other half short-shorts, and other incredibly ridiculous clothing. Real heroes have high-and-tights and wear camouflage. Oh boy and Riku, one look at her and that would send anyone of us to the brig, with no chance for parole.

  • DarthYan

    I hhonestly think you're being a wee bit harsh to tidus. He does become a lot more mature as the game progresses, and there is a mild reason for his immaturity. He's a fish out of water, where everything he's ever known has been destroyed. How the hell is he supposed to know about all of the customs? It's like asking a caveman to understand modern day customs and techniques. He's not a soldier; he's a 17 year old teenage superstar who has his entire world yanked from under him and has been dumped in a completely unfamiliar world. Yes, he is a wee bit annoying, but there are bits when he's sympathetic (when he sees his mother's ghost in the farplane, the conversation with Yuna) Also, in a way, his stupidity and immaturity ultimately help to undo the evil church and monster keeping people living in fear for 1000 years. His sacrifice at the end is also kind of noble.

  • DarthYan

    I did like the potion gag though.

  • peteman

    Wait… how would the bees and the fire last in space with no atmosphere

  • lordschmee

    An artificial atmosphere, of course.

    …SCIENCE!

  • liam55555

    i agree with everything youve said in this review….cant wait to hear your thoughts on the infamous peace of shit final fantasy 13….

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    It's not a bug, there's only so much that the briefcase let's you have. It was programmed that way.

  • magus12000bc

    You mean that was INTENTIONAL bad design? Dear god.

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    It wasn't intentional BAD design at all. The suitcase stops giving potions after you have 20 potions in your inventory. It's a not-so-secret secret that helps the player stock up a bit.

    It isn't a glitch or bad design in any way (unless you count it towards making the game easier, and even then, not by much.)

  • magus12000bc

    I beg to differ. If they wanted to give you twenty potions, then they should have given you twenty potions at once. That's not hard to implement. What about the early sequels in Final Fantasy that allowed you to buy items in bulk instead of one at a time? It's the very same principle.

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    Is this really that big of a deal? Seriously?

    They're free potions that you can go back and get repeatedly. Sure, you get them one by one, but it's better than spending unnecessary gil on those potions.

    If the suitcase gave the potions in bulk, it would only be a one time deal. With the way it was implemented, it has an infinite supply, but gives them to you at a limit.

    Can we stop complaining over kicking a suitcase, now?

  • ash6774

    Great review, you could mention that blitzball glitch where you have more points and then hide behind your goal keeper with the ball, the other team never come after you, easy win!!!

    Also if you want to punch Tidus just play Dissidia on the PSP.

  • ThinkingIsStupid

    This is the type of thing Spoony does best. Keep mocking these awful new FF games, because its right and its hilarious. What ever happened to games like the one that spawned your name? T.T

  • ff78cs

    omg spoony have you played ff13? talk about a piece of shit story.believe me ffx story is 1000 times better at least it makes sense! the story in ff13 skips around so much your never 100% sure of wtf your doing or why you are doing it! the plot is just insanely weakly constructed.sure the game play is OK and the graphics are nice and shinny but good graphics and ok game play does not make a good story or A GOOD GAME! damn you square enix! i would take ff7 any day bad graphics but good story over this over hyped final fantasy 13 that they keep shoving down your throats every time you turn on your tv.i think this deserves a push ahead of all the other final fantasy games you are reviewing lol im sorry for the venting rage i feel much better now……fuck you square enix fuck you long and hard for this slap in the face of a game.

  • florus

    Wauw! absolutley Wauw! Can't wait for episode 2 of this series. In fact have been checking this site every(!) day since this came out to see if there was even a glimmer of the next episode.
    Especially this bit:
    “oh, ok; What am i reviewing?”
    “Final Fantasy X !”
    <reaction to this atrocious fact>
    ROTFL

  • CultconXIX

    Once again: good stuff. m/
    I had no expectations for this game when I first started playing it many years ago. I finished it and never played it again.
    FFX is simply unappealing (excluding Lulu and Auron) and boring game.
    You know why Auron is bad-ass? Because he's undead, and undead are bad-ass. m/

  • liam55555

    i agree 100% sure ff games are a bit weired and have faults….but final fanasy 13 on the other hand…is like 100000 times worce ….on every level…..can wait to see spoonys ff13 review….and just wait till he meets vanille…..

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    And what exactly is confusing about the plot to FF XIII? It seems pretty damned simple to me. “Evil being wants to sacrifice millions of people in order to call back 'God', the people it chose to manipulate for its plot decide to try and thwart it instead.” How is this at all complicated?

    • Anonymous

      (Sorry for a reply to a comment that’s five months old.)

      That actually sounds a lot like Fullmetal Alchemist’s plot. (the manga)

    • Rakkrakk

      It gets complicated when 80% percent of the story is buried in subsections of a datalog system and the heroes aren’t actually heroes but idiots with far too much firepower. And the game being oblivious to that.

  • McdohlNoir

    Awesome review, cannot wait for your second installment cause I know you got some shit planned. Although I did like the game man Its my honest opinion well only the summoning portion in the battle system really. Moving on; I agree with the whole blitzball situation, I mean is the water possibly breathable? or some form of new liquid that you can throw fucking balls 500 yards in a random direction? Also heres something I want you to do, take a picture of Zell, and take a picture of Wakka and compare.. WTF similar in almost every way! Also hey the blitz balls HAVE to be in Spira, how else would people defend themselves against the hordes of darkness, and evil minions of Sin lol, seriously? I mean if you look at it Blitz Balls are like basically triple triad cards EVERYONE has one and they do psychological damage to anyone they touch isnt that obvious lol so stupid. anyway enjoyin the reviews OH and where the hell can I get one of those FFVIII Sucks T-Shirts that you have?

  • McdohlNoir

    They could have made him look a little more like Jecht or however you spell that. I mean really does he look like him in anyway, and hes Jecht's son? plus they could have changed the voice and took out the child scaring issues that he has. give him memory loss or SOMETHING. the only thing I can say about this ass hole is that he really is an annoying prick who has no chance of getting with a woman as long as he acts the way he does, and yet he is loved by how many of the others in the video game? This game makes no sense >.<! son of a bitch.. hes basically the prepy version of squall and by prepy i mean like high school prepy. popular in his hometown and shit but becomes a complete little emo shit when he leaves

    • Anonymous

      at least give him SOMETHING to make him an interesting character, or at least one you don’t want to kill every time he has an important scene

    • Anonymous

      at least give him SOMETHING to make him an interesting character, or at least one you don’t want to kill every time he has an important scene

  • DarthYan

    As I said before, he does become less of dick as the story progresses, and considering the situation (superstar living up to legacy of douchebag father who's dumped into an unknown environment.), he honestly handled himself pretty damn well. If you were in his situation how would you react. Plus in genetics, both his mother and father could have had gene combos resulting in him gaining his appearence. He is annoying at times, but I honestly feel that he doesn't deserve all the bile he gets.

  • Yami_Baca

    To sum up all the hate for ffX in one word: Water World. Am I right? (…it looks like shit……it DOES look like shit!) >:)

  • Riyock

    Or alternatively the game designers could have just given him a pair of testicles?

  • Riyock

    Dude if I'd known about the pitfalls of FFX before I started playing it I could of saved myself the pain and mysery of forever having the image of that whiny, prebuscent Titus imprinted on my memory banks. Seriously, thank you for doing this review, it confirms that someone else in the world shares my pain. Whatever positive aspects this game extolls are pretty much nullified by the awfull character deseign and plot. No actually just by Titus. Seriously, how could they think that was possibly a suitable character for the lead role?

  • llimar263

    You know if Sin really was Godzilla this game would be a lot more interesting.

  • Toreka

    McdohlNoir… First of all, memory loss or “amnesia” is cliche beyond comprehension and wouldn't even fit in with the storyline anyway. And your complaint about him becoming “a complete little emo shit when he leaves” was directly explained by the person you're replying to. In my opinion, they did a near perfect job keeping his character balanced with the narration bits he does. You get to see him as a young, arrogant superstar learning things about Spira along with the player, and then you hear his occasional humbled narrations that take the the experiences he's going through in retrospect. I can understand why people don't relate to that kind of character, but a story doesn't (and shouldn't) always revolve around the completely neutral, non-emotional, instantly-lovable, or brawny, testosterone-injected, stereotypically badass kinds of characters.

  • girllawliet

    lolz dude, ff13 is EXACTLY THE SAME as ff10. Same beginning (fighting enemies on a long highway) same sphere thing to level up, somewhat same fighting (more ffx-2, ATB system), really, it was recycled. you'd be disappointed.

  • girllawliet

    ff13 is EXACTLY THE SAME as FFX and FFX-2. Same battle, same summon, same story, same sphere thing to level up, same beginning (fighting enemies on a long highway)

  • McdohlNoir

    only cause their wasnt very much wrong with that battle system. atleast you didnt have to draw hundreds of magic spells and junction them to abilities and shit… what if they recycled that ? lol wouldnt that just be fun for spoony

  • Leeness1

    My EXACT thoughts on Tidus. Thank you. Thank you. I hate him so, so much. He's possibly the worst character in video game history.

    (Though I love 9 :))

  • McdohlNoir

    Forgive me then for my rude comment about him, However sir or ma'am I never said I was looking for anything remotely close to the “neutral, non-emotional, instantly-lovable, or brawny, testosterone-injected, stereotypically badass” Im simply looking for a character that can stand on his own two feet and not complain about everything in his life while the world is in peril by the hands of what he finds out to be his father, which THEN he decides to act without question. I'm sorry for my rant but I just dont like him. Thats all Im gonna say

  • McdohlNoir

    I can agree with the whole dealing with the unknown environment and how he was able to tough it out, but for the beginning of it it just looked like he learned stuff without experience of hardships. Ok that doesnt sound right but like the only thing that was a huge deal was Sin attacking most the time. I mean.. He didnt tough through it by himself you know, only about a day of that games time id guess other than that he travels with people who helps him and vice versa of course. But they didnt make it boot camp for him. the only state that would really be affected would really be his emotional state ya know ? and thats where his emotional memories come in. And yes the gene thing I can see that we never do see his mom cept in on the astral plane right? and were you really able to see her I havent played the game forever so I wouldnt know.

  • emogit

    Hey spoony, I have followed you for awhile now, we know you hate every ff game past 7, but what about final fantasy 3 for the snes, in my opinion and many other's its the best, while the opera house scene was bad, the worst part, what did you think of it? I'm really curious, because it is one of the best RPGs out there, oh and when is ffX part 2 coming out?

  • emogit

    We know you hate every ff game past 7 but what about 3 for the snes, it is in my opinion the greatest ff game of all time, so what is your opinion? It completely mastered what ff is, and was th best (Okay 2 and 7 were pretty good) but this was better, and I haven't met anyone who disliked it. I love your reviews, and as you can see by my user name ff8, and when is the new vid for ff10 coming out?

  • http://twitter.com/V8_Ninja V8 Ninja

    Amazingly hilarious as always! Can't wait for Part 2!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raul-Vasques/100000328493242 Raul Vasques

    If he thinks this is bad, he should never playff12, which is, without a plausible doubt, the most flawed game ever produced under the name final fantasy. Considering this franchise has unholy spawns like FF X – 2 or this game, the gamer community should start considering shooting Square Enix in the face.

    Anyway, great review Spoony. The second part should already be out :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      you should be shot in the face several times for this

      actually no, lets use the flashing light torturing trick on you, id like to watch that

      • Anonymous

        Oh my god, people are expressing their opinions.

        Stop being a rampant fanboy.

        Jesus christ.

  • llimar263

    Hate to tell you this but not only did he play FF12 he liked it.

    • Anonymous

      Wow, he liked XII over X? That’s actually sad. XII had a few things going for it like the battle system, but it’s definitely one of the worst in the series. Even VIII was better.

      • Rakkrakk

        Ehm, why? The battle mechanics were new(Spoony always loves innovation), Balthier and Basch were actually interesting characters, plus their story had a focus for most of the game as Vaan is basically just pasted on there as a framing and exposition device. That plus massive amounts of optional content.
        And the music is a gorgeous treat for the ears.

        So, yeah, flawed, far from perfect, but refreshing game.

        VIII has its merits here and there but is essentially like VII but without the novelty of a 3D engine and with a horridly boring magic system.

        X on the other hand is just… Well, Meg Ryan look-a-like with Johnny Test’s voice constantly demanding to be the protagonist while the actual protagonist is being a doormat. That and the nonsensical design choices for how things look. And a Jar Jar Binks. And hair antlers.

        Yeah, XII wins.

  • tetsuame

    Hilarious! Thats whats great about you man, you can make fun of a game I like and still make me laugh.

  • uppfinnarn

    You forgot FFIX's Forks in your list of stupid weapons!

  • AndrewTheEternal

    You know, I just realized you ended on an ass shot.

  • kefkaesque

    In all seriousness, FFX was okay. But my problem is that it would have been so easy to make FFX into a great game.

    Simply: Remove Tidus, and make Auron the main character. Obviously there are parts that would need re-writing but the vast majority of the story could have happened without Tidus. I mean, he's far less important to the plot than Auron is, and the game would have been better had it focused on his character. But I suppose a leading character in his 30s-40s wouldn't appeal to the kiddies.

  • Liberykiller

    At least ffX-2 didn't have this ridiculous drop in drop out system, what are the doing when they're not fighting anyway?

  • Liberykiller

    and plus that sword weighs as much as Rikku

    • Anonymous

      eat me

  • Liberykiller

    I agree, just remove Tidus, and Wakka for that matter, better yet just burn your copy of the game and shoot the ashes into space

  • CultconXIX

    Really? Didn't know that one :D *Laughter*

    • Anonymous

      o so not cool

  • http://twitter.com/coreymon77 Corey Cohen

    haha, nice start to a review, Spoony!
    I have got to admit, I freaking love ffx. I just really really like the game. However, you do make great points. As for Tidus, we all want to punch him in the nuts (or the area where his nuts should be), every time he opens his mouth, but oh well. The battle system is what really sold me on this game, it is one of my favourite battle systems in an rpg ever.

  • ujo1934

    rofl when he started screaming and ranting about Tidus i pissed my pants laughing :D….OMG Lulu's BOOBS ARE BIG!!!

  • ujo1934

    OOOO NICE!!

  • ujo1934

    U CANT BE SERIOUS A FUCKING FORK AS A WEAPON!!! NO WAY U HAVE 2 BE LIEING

  • ujo1934

    having a small orgy

  • ujo1934

    ME 2 I LOVE FF12

  • ujo1934

    but the difference is bullets and rockets fly past ure head in FF13

  • ujo1934

    even though i just play the game just 2 see Lulu's boobs and join those ppl who think Rikku's hot lol

  • ujo1934

    Tidus=pussy, Rikku=hot, Wakka(+ blitzball)=gay, Lulu=big boobs (me like), Yuna=human sized rug

  • uppfinnarn

    Yup, Quina Quen in Final Fantasy IX uses forks

  • dannychic

    You know, when this game came out, I was addicted to it and loved it. But now that I've grown out of that childish phase, I'm come to see just how dumb the game can really be. I guess when I was younger, I was just blinded by my love for 8 (which now I can honestly say has no replay value, is boring as hell, and that stupid card game makes me want to shoot myself) and that love kind of moved over to this one. Your review basically says how I feel now, and I'm really happy you're making these reviews and expressing the opinions of those that aren't crazy fanboys. Honestly, fanboys is the entire reason why I hated 7 when I played it, since they ranted about how great it was and I was expecting something above FF4 (which is my fav). But nope, didn't live up to the hype and now I can't stand it.

    As for FF9, it's actually a great game that has so many references and throwbacks to the older FF games. The beginning is kind of tedious, I will admit, but there's a huge turning point in the game on the second disk that just sealed this FF game as being my second fav. If you're able to play it through one day, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

    Anyway, once again, great review. Can't wait for the next one. Keep them coming.

  • zingzangspillip

    I played through this game twice, but that's when I realised the game's greatest flaw. It's so inflexible and linear that one feels one is playing some sort of choose-your-own-adventure movie. I watched your Vlog on FFXIII, and I feel exactly the same way about this game.
    However, I don't actively hate it as much as you. I think the universe is well thought-out, although blitzball is pretty dumb, and the story is mostly pretty interesting. I particularly like the character of Maechen, the historian who appears from time to time to fill you in on some of the backstory of Spira.
    I've only played two game saves, though. I enjoyed it the first time, but the second time was incredibly boring and annoying. I don't think I'll ever play it again.

    I must object your treatment of Final Fantasy IX, however. To consign it to the 'it sucks' bin just because of the design is rather narrow-minded, something I don't often call you (you're very negative, but I prefer to think of it as demanding). The character of Zidane is *not* whiny, and is most certainly not a feminine character. In fact, out of the Sony FFs, I would say that Zidane is the most masculine main character. At least he doesn't get dressed like a woman for a sex-crazed gigolo like Cloud.
    FFIX is an extremely interesting game, Spoony. I suggest you try it as soon as you have a moment. I've played through it no fewer than five occasions. It's my favourite RPG, and one of my favourite all-time games.

  • Charles218

    I feel like a selfish idiot telling you what to do Spoony, because you're already doing me and everyone else a great favor by trashing this game. But could you please in one of your future reviews feature the ridiculous clips with Auron and the snowmobile and Wakka saying, “Sir Auron isn't Al Bhed too, is he?” When my brother and I first played the game and heard that line we died laughing. Please consider it.

  • salamando

    Speaking of art design ruining a game experience, I'm gunna say Super Mario World. Granted, I also had problems with the level design and Yoshi controls, but the art style really glares in my opinion.

    Also, I really liked FFX. Whiney voice aside, I liked Tidus. It was Yuna who pissed me off more, mainly cuz she reminded me of one of my ex girlfriends.

    • Anonymous

      “Also, I really liked FFX. Whiney voice aside, I liked Tidus. It was Yuna who pissed me off more, mainly cuz she reminded me of one of my ex girlfriends.”

      Your ex-girlfriend was a summoner turned wannabe pop star too?

      …Oh wait, your ex-girlfriend LARPed as a summoner turned wannabe pop star?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Becker/1624706321 Devon Becker

    Jeez i hated this game…

    it would be so much better if Auron was the hero

  • SkullCrusher

    It's been almost a month man. GET TO PART TWO!

  • ujo1934

    o btw Rikku is Cid's daughter and Cid is Yuna's uncle so she does have some place in the game

  • Anonymous

    1) I agree with your hate of Tidus. I couldn’t stand him. I couldn’t stand how self centered he was or how much the voice actor sucked or how retarded he was.
    2)Yes, they objectified sex on both spectrums. You have all the females showing as much as they can (asides Yuna) and then some of the MALES are wearing slutwear. There’s some Kilika guy who is wearing a thong over his butt where his pants are down midthigh. Kimahri they take some rather eager snapshots while he’s crouched in cutscenes to show his fondushi or whatever, Biran… I’m sorry, were they TRYING to make him being that weird locker room porno guy? Tidus wasn’t so blatant but they seemed to want to show his boxers in any way possible. so they made one pantleg so wide and short that you could see the legging.
    3) in X-2 Rikku is 17 and yuna is 19. Just thought I should state that.
    –speaking of underaged, they did the same thing with VII. Tifa wasn’t even written in the script but the only other option for a romantic interest was Yuffie and the japanese KNEW that the Americans would frown upon the fact someone who’s 21 would have any romantic inclination to a 16 year old. I wonder why they didn’t care about the age thing in 10.
    4)Wakka… yah? Nuff said yah?
    5) Something I never understood about the story was Lulu’s character. She’s a black mage. Dressed so unlike everyone else. Where did she come from, why is she there? She doesn’t fit in with the game, yet she’s there. I don’t hate Lulu, but ya gotta admit :/

  • skyeveran

    Aw man, Spoony, you missed a chance to compare Tidus to Selphie… they seem to have the same idea on how to deal with unfamiliar technology. And when you have a main character acting as bad as the obligatory cutesy anime girl of another game, you know you've got problems.

    *bang bang bang*

  • Anonymous

    Was that a John Sheridan shirt that Spoony was wearing?

  • johnJjohnson

    u suck at trying to do what yahtzee does great, because your arguments are deeply flawed. For instance the abscence of explanations or cohesion is common in the fantasy genre, it doesnt have to be all cohesion and scientific logic. They hold their breath underwater BIG FUCKING DEAL ARE U BLIND OR WHAT THE WHOLE THING IS CALLED FINAL FANTASY FANTASY FANTASY FANTASY FANTASY. For fuck sake, do you even grasp how stupid it is to rant over lack of realism in this ?

    And about pussy blabla, well the game's marketed at an audience, you're not part of it anymore, good/bad for you, whatever. Square understood it after FF6/7, atlus understood it after persona 2. That doesnt make the premise of a proper caricatural, acid-toned review. And what's wrong about emotions ? Isn't that what video games try to do to pull themselves from, transcending the quick arcade pleasure and touching litterature or cinema ? The opera scene / aeris death scene were crafted with a lot more intelligence than a lot of recent complex, dramatic movies.

    Seriously find something better to do, this isn't for you at all, and imho you're just trolling old fans. Wasting that much time pooping over the final fantasy commonly as known the worst by a lot of people is just pathetic. You're not bringing anything new, original and even less doing it with proper analysis standards. Try to do that on the 6th if you can, it'll be very interesting.

  • schmor

    fanboys like johnjjohnson make it even more funny

  • cyran

    are you not a troll yourself? Completely misunderstanding that despite even if he doesn't hate it as much as he lets on he does it for HUMOR purposes you silly fanboy. And you were wrong on a few points yourself. Yes, he can call bullshit because these guys are still human and they didn't say they all developed gills. Not to mention only a FEW people can breathe underwater that long, it's not a universally acquired thing.
    As far as the target audience. The target audience is for ages 10+. Why? it's final fantasy not some newgen game and they know that it should still try to target the people who've been there from the beginning and those who are into the new graphics for final fantasy altogether. They did fail with Tidus though because he was just so unbelievable as a heroic character. He was a total puss who knew nothing and then allova sudden he's a fighter? And that doesn't do enough to save him from his weird aspergerish social ability. “Hey, laugh. *obnoxious fake laughter ensues. If anyone hears you just say he's retarded and doesn't know any better.*”// “Don't, that's against our religion.” “Like I care, i have no clue what religion is or why I'm supposed to have this dire need to break every rule.” // “Incessant noting of his 'old man'. it's like he heard it once and thought it sounded so cool so he's gotta say it every opportunity he can for no reason.
    There were TONS of things wrong with making Tidus the main character of this game. I still loved the game but I took any opportunity I could to not listen to Tidus talk.

    • Anonymous

      Having asperger’s, I think I can safely say his attitude isn’t aspergish. It seems more like ADD or something along those lines. And even so, this game was made in Japan, therefor this is the English dub. You have to realize how much work goes into making dubs, especially for something like this where everything is detailed, including the motion of their lips. Plus the work it takes to have a working storyline within a fun video game without making it mostly a film. Things have to work without giving too much explanation, and it does require you to accept things without question, which is basically the foundation of fantasy in general. Who would want magic to be explained scientifically?

      • Anonymous

        “Having asperger’s, I think I can safely say his attitude isn’t aspergish. It seems more like ADD or something along those lines.”

        Aspergers makes it difficult for a person to, say, tell when someone’s being a sarcastic ass-muncher. Self-diagnosed Aspergers, OTOH, leads to a person thinking that it’s okay to always be a sarcastic ass-muncher. Big difference.

        • Anonymous

          Do you mind not trolling me please? Your first reply to another comment I made was fine, but now you’re just trying to get a reaction from me.

          I’m not self-diagnosed, I was diagnosed by an expert in this field. I don’t expect you to know much about it considering it requires a lot of studying up on, but I’ve never heard of “self-diagnosed” asperger’s. If anything, people will deny they have it because people will see them as weird and they don’t want to have to learn about asperger’s just to know the person. Although I’m sure several people have self-diagnosed themselves with it anyway.

          And… Are you trying to say that Tidus is self-diagnosed or was it directed towards me? Either way, you’re getting annoying.

          • Anonymous

            “Do you mind not trolling me please? Your first reply to another comment I made was fine, but now you’re just trying to get a reaction from me.”

            Ah, you do have Aspergers. You couldn’t tell whether or not my comment has anything to do with you (Hint: It doesn’t). I’m just sharing my own experiences with Asperger-inflicted people from the boards I usually comment on, and I’m not here to question whether or not you’re afflicted with it. With that said, there are a lot of self-diagnosed Asperger “patients” out there. Just a head’s up.

    • Anonymous

      Having asperger’s, I think I can safely say his attitude isn’t aspergish. It seems more like ADD or something along those lines. And even so, this game was made in Japan, therefor this is the English dub. You have to realize how much work goes into making dubs, especially for something like this where everything is detailed, including the motion of their lips. Plus the work it takes to have a working storyline within a fun video game without making it mostly a film. Things have to work without giving too much explanation, and it does require you to accept things without question, which is basically the foundation of fantasy in general. Who would want magic to be explained scientifically?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Askew/100000765570036 Christopher Askew

    I can't deny it. I was the same way about FFIX. The artwork was just kinda….ehhhhh….it was in my collection for the longest time, and it was clear they were really trying to tell a good story with a mix of old and new. It sat in my collection for a good long while before I finally started picking up a lot of games that I'd played and never quite finished, but when I actually did commit to the game, FFIX actually became one of my favorites in the series. The characters have diverse and well fleshed out backgrounds and serve unique functions in battle, making it fairly easy to build an end party you like, and the villain of the series is probably one of the better jackass villains of the series following Kefka.

    Admitedly, I felt they missed a few things that would've made some of the characters more interesting (Freya's a good character as is, but I kinda wish we ran with her and Fratley a bit more, to say nothing of the limited background we get for Amarant) and I will tell you right now that the card game in FFIX is FAR worse than Triple Triad (which I have something of a liking for itself, until the rules get crazy and uncontrollable without chosing when and where to play). The rules are never explained in game (they are briefly explained in the manual, but I take issue with the fact that they MANUAL ITSELF says to experiment to find out what the letters and numbers on the cards mean), every card has variations on numbers and arrows, and the biggest slap in the face is that it's a requisite to win at least three games at one point in the story.

  • lastsigma

    In theory you could use a fork as a weapon, even in real life. They're normally called tridents, so that weapon does look stupid but could actually be used to murder someone anyway.

  • uppfinnarn

    A 10 Centimeters tall fork with dull ends?

  • lastsigma

    Considering most real forks are at least double that length, no. However, very few piercing weapons actually need to be razor sharp to drive through someone. We're fragile creatures. It only takes a pound of pressure to cut skin.

  • gamerrelic

    Spoony is busy drawing potions so that is why we have and will never have part 2

  • Mr. Mook

    She doesn't add anything to the plot, if she dies, so what. Doesn't affect the outcome at all.

  • Connors116

    You know, in FFX-2 (not 12, just 10-2) Lulu is pregnant with Wakka's child.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TaliareilDuca Anthony Wilhem Beck

    Whens part 2 coming out? I want MOAR!

  • Bek359

    Was that a John Sheridan shirt that Spoony was wearing during this review? I know he loves Babylon 5…

    Edit: Seems I already made this comment a week ago. Sorry. My memory goes sometimes.

  • Anonymous

    what are you wating for part 2?is it that hard to find plotholes/annoying shit in a FF game?

  • http://orangebandanna.deviantart.com/ OrangeBandanna

    To be honest I don't really understand why everyone hates FFX-2. I mean, sure, the main characters were the most obnoxious unrealistic anime fanservice girls on the face of the planet, but other than that.. Was it really that bad of a game? =/
    (I haven't played it since I was 10.. Perhaps if I came back to it I'd look at it differently.. But still.)

  • wakamoto

    Spoony – what's your opinion about Dissidia: Final Fantasy?

  • peteman

    Wait, in the FF8 review, you said the Wrist Mounted Dog Launcher was dumber than the volley ball. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND SPOONY! Or at least acknowledge that you changed your mind.

  • mrliar

    Have you noticed?
    This is the first Final Fantasy game, where the main male characters don't look so gay… err… nevermind!
    I saw Tidus, But it doesn't count, he's just a dream.

  • cyran

    it had an amazing battle system and it was enjoyable if you got past the shitty storyline.

  • Caelan

    Been a while since we had a new one.

  • benjidoc

    Spoony, your complaints about Blitzball are all correct, but its one of those things were it doesn't make sense at all so we just have believe it. Kind of like the sacking of Troy in the Aeneid. Achilles' son Pyrrhus slaughters Priam's son, and then drags Priam to his altar and then slaughters him there. Now Achilles is too young to have a son old enough to fight in the 10 year war, but thats what Virgil says, so we just go along with it. Virgil also calls Odysseus a 'ruffian', which is totally wrong since Odysseus is the King of Ithaca, and probably the wiliest and shrewdest of the Greeks.

  • steffensloth

    Get on with it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Biddle/100000680530697 Kyle Biddle

    2 months and 1 game review update later..still no part 2? Looking forward to it spoony, love your videos.

  • daveinthesouth

    Oh man, hope Kefka-Spoony becomes a running gag in FF reviews

  • adder

    Just a note. Zid's the most upbeat non-feminine FF character since the series went 3D. Carry on.

  • adder

    Also, theory: The reason Wakka can use a Blitzball as a weapon is because he trained to use it as a weapon, Tidus knows how to play, but doesn't know how to use it as a weapon. Granted, he doesn't know how to use a sword either, but Wakka saw him with a sword and just assumed that was his weapon of choice. The reason Tidus didn't try switching to a blitzball is because, well, he's an idiot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/juan.m.rivera1 Juan M. Biaggi Rivera

    Your freak out made me LOL hard

    but I feel your pain at least FF8 had good story (well I like it) and the characters (again at least I like them even if Squal is emo)

    but FF10 is HORRIBLE!

    everything about that game is bad
    at least it gave us Lulu

    Lulu….. I love my boob mage

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      FFX is epicly good.

  • laharl777

    The game was 100% unadulterated fanservice, pure and simple. Not to mention Paine, good lord, Paine.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      Paine was fantastic.

  • http://orangebandanna.deviantart.com/ OrangeBandanna

    Yes. It was. There was some just outstanding moments in that game that were nothing but fanservice. But That's Not The Question!

    I'm asking about the battle system, the dress sphere system, the game music(Not the pop songs, but the background music to the game), minigames, and, YES, the storyline! As the development of Spira in the game and what has happened to it after the storyline of FFX! Yes! There was awful fanservice, bad character design, bad storyline revolving around Yuna and that guy who happens to look like Tidus, all that crap, just throw it away! Was it a bad game, or a good game?

    It's like throwing away Tomb Raider because Laura has big boobs!

    • Rakkrakk

      Even all of those political consquences from Auron & Co.’s exploits may be promising, but they fall flat. Execution is key and the execution of FFX-2 is, well, 100% fan service. That fanservice is the reason the game was made. And that makes it bad. Plain and simple.

  • foodlespane

    “Spoony, your complaints about Blitzball are all correct, but its one of those things were it doesn't make sense at all so we just have believe it.”

    As Spoony said in the Wing Commander review, there's suspension of disbelief, and there's insulting your intelligence.

  • foodlespane

    “Wait, in the FF8 review, you said the Wrist Mounted Dog Launcher was dumber than the volley ball. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND SPOONY! Or at least acknowledge that you changed your mind.”

    It still is. Doesn't necessarily make the volleyball fucking retarded, though.

  • foodlespane

    “I'm asking about the battle system, the dress sphere system, the game music(Not the pop songs, but the background music to the game), minigames, and, YES, the storyline!”

    I think you just answered your own question. (Hint: the “Dress-Me-Up Barbie” Dress Sphere System and, of course, the mini-games they have to complete to get Tidus back… like Spoony even wants to get Male Meg Ryan back anyway!)

  • peteman

    My comment was that he says the Wrist Mounted Dog Launcher is the dumbest weapon in the history of FF, specifically mentioning the volleyball that turns people into stone, but in this he says the volleyball is dumber than the wrist mounted dog launcher. I'm hoping that this gets addressed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lisa-Fisk/1066089255 Lisa Fisk

    MOAR!! NAO!! Before I butcher more monosyllabic words!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/keinushi Keinushi Snyder

    I love the picture of spoony as tidus, major improvement

  • foodlespane

    “it had an amazing battle system and it was enjoyable if you got past the shitty storyline.”

    I think Spoony himself addressed that in the video. He's going to have a lot of fun making fun of the shitty storyline, though.

  • foodlespane

    “My comment was that he says the Wrist Mounted Dog Launcher is the dumbest weapon in the history of FF, specifically mentioning the volleyball that turns people into stone, but in this he says the volleyball is dumber than the wrist mounted dog launcher. I'm hoping that this gets addressed.”

    Well, _obviously_ both are very shitty, and Spoony intentionally switched around which of them are the worst in his opinion depending on the video. Ergo, it's a joke. Duh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Todd/100000336351762 Adam Todd

    Please dear god continue this soon. It's fun if you manage to over look all this somehow, but I enjoy watching you rip shit all over this complete trash of a Final Fantasy game.

    And to fucking think, Sony would have us all hanging off of their nuts right about now if they just redid FFVII. Why the fuck do they not do this? Every god damned nerd that had ever played the original would cream their pants if they did remake it.

  • benjidoc

    Spoonman,

    are you waiting for your Wakka costume before continuing this review?

  • http://www.facebook.com/shikiru Alain Erpelding

    please continue this review , i haven't laughed that hard for a long time :)

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    FF 10 and 13 reviews could be put in a nutshell with the words “An ok RPG, but not a Final Fantasy.”

  • pawcanada84

    Well said! If any PS1 classic needs remaking, it's Soul Reaver. That game had about a third of the content removed thanks to time restrictions. Last I checked FFVII was complete, or at least had maybe 5% on the cutting room floor. Frankly I'd need a game that has more extra content then I've had spicey hot curries (and I LOVE curries) before I hand over my hard earned cash.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kaitlin-Licause/100000493760508 Kaitlin Licause

    Damnit, you BETTER post a new part of this soon, or I will personally release all my pent-up fangirlish RAGE!

    …please.

  • ujo1934

    Auron is a faker it looks like his left arm is broken but in the attack at Luca he moves the arm

  • http://twitter.com/Menamebephil Phil Matthews

    You know, this game was the first Final Fantasy I ever played. It remains probably one of my favourites, just after Nine. I liked the story. I liked most of the characters. Hell, for some reason I was never even annoyed by Tidus (Yuna is another story).

    And this review was GOLD. I actually cracked up continuously, and I actually thought that every complaint you have is perfectly valid. Which is weird, because, as I said, I actually like this game a hell of a lot.

  • http://twitter.com/Menamebephil Phil Matthews

    Also,is it just me, or was every main voice actor except Auron (because of his massive mouth-obscuring collar) completely buttfucked by the awful lip-synching? I mean, Yuna in particular was awful.

  • saint23thomas

    Wait, if there's a Black Lantern Spoony, does that mean there's also a Black Lantern Insano?

  • Phrederic

    I don't know about spiral eyes sucking…they work for Lordgenome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Juho-Tuomas-Lukkarinen/1542760898 Juho-Tuomas Lukkarinen

    I am quite positive that you are aware of the comments such as this; if not by your own then by amount of the comments posted after this video was out. This is just one amongst them but dudes take a look. But what I wanted to say was…. ::
    FU Spoony, I like most of your work but don't you dare to bash the great FF-anthology! =D
    I know you being an oldschool gamer as you also mention in the video. I was grown beating the NES/SNES and other oldschool console games up – but this particular gameseries(from the game FF3 and upwards) has left a permanent mark to my mind.
    First for being such a large games, granting the player vast amount of possibilities to explore worlds and secrets of the game. There is many secret bosses, weapons, and other unlockable objects you can achieve by doing certain things.
    Secondly for it having good athmosphere, characters and good gameplay(I know random running/enemy bashing may feel numbing) but it is rewarding afterall. Also such minigames as Tetra and Blitz are great optional additions!
    Third, the musics are awesome. The ones who actually composed these musics should be awarded fucking Nobel Prize or something along the lines. I just orgasm in my mind when hearing certain songs and get stuck in that very spot of the game; just to listen that song over and over again.
    Fourth, Cinematics. Really well done, lifelike, likeable and highly emotional! Fifth, The concept of this being an fantasy/sci-fi-related game does it for me. I have always had a thing with all extraordinary and unreal.
    Sixth. The Girls – Garnet, Yuna, Rikki, you name it. Can you say you never have had any daydreams of these pixelated women? I doubt your word there ! =D
    Finally; you see that these games are meant for emotional people and the people willing to explore theirselves and their outer limits. As the genre suggests, it is not always linear and clear what the plot of the game is! I know that shows like Spoony, AVGN, NostalgiaCritic and Irategamer are meant to be exaggerated comedy, a genre of THIS GENERATION that people will find a relief on(except Irategamer, which is BARELY funny.). But my point is, open your eyes and try to look where you cannot; try to see the big picture. There are fans of this genre, and undoubtly it is a liked serie of games. There are points that support this(as I just made few) But maybe you need also to look into yourself? Or maybe you are not capable? Like said, I like your show as a whole, but does Mr.Spoony/Insano have something between his teeth? Who knows =) Anyway, thanks for the effort you have put in these videos. Sometimes it is nice to comment and give some response in order for the showhost to improve his/her show quality.
    Finland ty's, GN, regardz from Samhain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lucy.blundell Lucy Blundell

    Can you imagine if they did remake FF7? As if FF7:AC wasn't bad enough ¬_¬ They would make them all look the same (feminine, pretty, 20 year olds even though most of the characters aren't), change the music (as though it's from some epic movie) and probably mess up the classic battle system.

    There's too much expectation so it would just ruin Square Enix. Personally I don't think they can pull it off again :P

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/AKRVDK5KGMB72INNPWRISOY5WM Sam Flood

    Tidus reminds me of Chris Crocker. Whiny and a total bitch.

  • mrrubino

    Now now, Zidane is NOT whiny.
    He is energetic and happily molests anything even remotely female.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/ZII75UE4APN4Y2JARV3IZHTLXA Andrew

    I enjoy the fact that “Titus” sounds like “Tight-ass”. It's hilarious.

  • DarthYan

    again, tidus is annoying. I found him unsufferable. But he is better then squall. I know i'm beating a dead horse, but his annoyingness is the point. With Squall he is meant to be viewed as this oh so serious guy who is cool when he's just a whiny pussy. Tidus may be annoying but at least he's SUPPOSED to be annoying.

  • dantinoakabastard

    hey spoony i want to get your idea on squar enix and bioware join forces to make a final fantasy game do you think it would be a great game????

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/Y7ENMTD3BNO2ZTJGGB5WDZQ4CI stuart i

    they need to make final fantasy games more like 1-7 or there just gunna keep on pissing me off!! seriously!!! lol

  • DoomsdayLee

    To be fair Spoony, even the FF fans hate Tidus…Great point on why Jecht may be so rough on Tidus though. I'd likely smother the little bastard after his first word.

  • jhart2943

    I really didn't see the point of having blitz ball underwater if water physics are not going to apply.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scarlet-Passmore/1050941436 Scarlet Passmore

    FFIX is my absolute favorite video game. If you can get over the chibi-design of the characters and play it for the story and battle system, I think it really is a really good game. Let's see, if you've only gotten two hours in… then you probably got no farther then the Evil Forest.

    It goes back to the old school systems. Everyone has a specific job that they can't really break from. Zidane is the thief, Garnet and Eiko White Mage/Summoner, Vivi Black Mage, etc. There are so many throwbacks to the previous games it's not even funny. For instance, in one weapon shop you can inspect a Buster Sword and Zidane makes a comment about Cloud, in the Black Mage Village you can change the background music to FFIII music, etc.

    I think they even have an excuse for the chibi design of the characters too; it's supposed to be reminescent of the chibified sprites in FFVII and earlier FF games (though mostly pre-FFVII).

    All in all, if you can trudge your way further into the game I think you would either actually like it or hate it. And hey, if you hate it you can always rage, right? And it maybe my favorite game just like I loved FFX but damn it's fun to hear you rage about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Rammel/100000334431257 Bruce Rammel

    o my god its full of emo kids and hot girls

  • Loomp

    Hey Spoon!!! If you want to do a sub review of FF9 like you did with FF7 and FF1 I have saves for ever part of that game so you don't have to play the whole game for the review. I have the FF9 saves in Interact Dexdrive format or PS3 save format which can be transferred to the PS3 Hard Drive and the FF9 game is available on PSN. If you don't have a PS3 you can transfer the PSX Dexdrive saves to PSone memory card using a PS3 Sony MemoryCard Adapter and the Program and Driver for it called MCRWwin turning the PS3 Sony MemoryCard Adapter into a USB DexDrive.By the way you know some PSX emulators like ePSXe have a SAVESTATE Option and they play the real games you can use that for FF9 to skip around the game like you FF1 review. I also have Final Fantasy X PS2 saves so you can finish this review already.Keep up the good work Spoon. P.S. I have stuff for DosBox too for you PC reviews just find me on Youtube.

  • http://www.facebook.com/zerosd Davia Ditmeyer

    I think you were way too light on Jecht- it's really easy to make the argument that him acting like he did is *why* Tidus is how he is. So you should hate Jecht too, that's really just bad parenting.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RLDMY534ZKAOIHTTWG25VCJA5E Travis

    SPOONY I HOPE YOU READ THIS:

    Question: If you had to chose to spend a day with either the cold and distant SeeD mercenary squall leonhart or the cheerful yet slightly whiny at times biltzball player Tidus, who would you choose?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Williams/600640077 Sam Williams

      Squall, two reasons, he never says anything so you can just walk of and do your own thing whereas Tidus, well… he is never gonna shut up, although Wakka is worse for that. Two squall is actually slightly and I emphasise slightly, likeable, at times, ok no he isn’t but he is less easy to hate than Tidus

  • http://twitter.com/Davinsion David Mason

    In my opinion, Squall. At least he can pick up some chicks unlike fucking Tidus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=742655181 Kevin Bartelen

    To be fair, he's not actually faking an arm injury. It's an old samurai thing… seems odd to include that in a game where everyone else is just ridiculous though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/steffen.sloth Steffen Sloth

    Oh damn it's good living in Denmark, I can tap all the 15 year old ass i want.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-Robert-Rizzo/100000144286863 Jeffrey Robert Rizzo

    Its not illegal to 15 year olds. aw yeah.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-Robert-Rizzo/100000144286863 Jeffrey Robert Rizzo

    Its not illegal to 15 year olds. aw yeah.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527628212 Arsalan گارام Malick

    The aeons are badass, you really can’t deny that.

    I still frikkin LOVE when Ifrit shows up, and Bahamut is just godly. And Don’t even forget Anima, She’s just plain P. (Ultima Reference)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527628212 Arsalan گارام Malick

    I didn’t really enjoy the whole Blitzball thing, It was okay for the first couple matches, but to be completely fair, no matter what Spoony says, you can’t play final fantasy without fantasizing. And in that sense, isn’t Blitzball THE best sport ever imagined? It takes Swimming, my favourite past time, and Association Football, my favourite sport, and puts them together! Top it off with some rugby, and take out all the rules and you got something anyone can enjoy if they forget about the reality of it.

    I mean, if he enjoy WWE, TNA, and all that, which we know Spoony does, than he has to at least let the blitzball thing go by. The moves on those shows are outright deadly in real situations, and the stories are completely corny at best.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Adams/1404500226 Mike Adams

    Something tells me that Spoony Would not Like Gurren Laggan.

  • http://twitter.com/GeekofGames51 Adam Moore

    Fun Fact: Tidus is NOT played by a girl, he’s actually played by the voice of Johnny Test from the titular TV show; “Johnny Test”. So when you look at Tidus, don’t think Meg Ryan, think blonde-haired 10-year-old.

  • Anonymous

    WHO is Arnchal..JR (can’t spell his name)

  • Anonymous

    It’s a joke.

  • Anonymous

    the sad thing is that the guy who does tidus’s voice (James Arnold Taylor) is actually fairly good. He was just terrible for this role. In Drawn Together he’s fucking hillarious.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      He was perfect for this role.

      • Rakkrakk

        Well, Tidus is already a whiny bitch on page and the guy plays him like one, so yeah, I suppose he is perfect for the role.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      He was perfect for this role.

  • Anonymous

    the last time they tried something similar it flopped.

    • Guest

      I still say a better story would have been Braska’s story. Then again I actually enjoyed this game a lot.

  • Anonymous

    1.) I partially agree; His voice was insufferable, although the voice actor did fortunately get better later on his career and move on to better things (he was woolder sockabat in drawn together and is the voice of obi wan in the clone wars miniseries and tv show). shame he didn’t get better soon enough. Also, he does get more mature as the story progresses. All of the characters go through an arc of somekind (auron’s is trying to atone for failing his friends, Yuna learns to open up and value life as something other then being the obligatory messiah/human sacrifice, and even Wakka has to confront his racism against the Al Bhed). In Tidus’s case it’s growing up and becoming more mature.
    2.) Definately agree. Tidus’s outfit is retarded and this is coming from someone who DOESN’T hate him
    3.) Yeah the Japanese tend to be pretty lax
    4.) My only gripe was that his outfit was lame. He’s actually voiced by the guy who does bender in futurama believe it or not.
    5.) She’s the sceptic and gruff guy who is needed to not trust the hero only to warm up. Lame but there you go.

    I do largely agree with you though and it was pretty spot on.

  • Anonymous

    she’s Mrs Exposition to the fish out of water. That’s kind of it. also helps wakka overcome his hatred.

  • Anonymous

    Auron is cool and Tidus is pretty lame at points. He does have a purpose in getting yuna to open up and being the fayth’s weapon to end sin for good. in short he’s their pawn and weapon.

  • http://twitter.com/againstheman Richard Fernandez

    I totally agree with spoony about hating something because of the art design. For me it was Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. I can admit it could have been a great game but I could not get over the Toon “Link”.

  • Anonymous

    Just gonna throw this out there in defense of FF9, Zidane was actually NOT a whiny bitch. He was more upbeat and cheerful. And he actually tries to get girls. Sure he goes for the main female character (Who could have seen THAT coming?! *gasp* but he did flirt with others and his character model will actually eye passing women while you are controlling him.

    Plus there is no horrid voice acting :P

  • Anonymous

    That being said you’d probably still hate the game given what I’ve heard so far from you, I’m just saying, the main hero isn’t a whiny little bitch.

    He does kind of have a depressed mood but it doesn’t last that long and he kinda got his soul sucked out or something (Final Fantasy suspension of logic) but he got better.

  • Anonymous

    dunno if this is going to log me in but this is Cyran. I knew that part about lulu. I also know that wakka was voiced by bender and also Kimahri. It wasn’t the voice actor, it was Wakka’s outfit and repetitive and stupid catch phrase….ya?

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think it was ever brought up, so I’m gonna mention it.

    Wakka’s way of talking was HORRID. I actually enjoyed the game and that REALLY bugged me. It wasn’t the ‘yah, it was the way he would stop talking mid sentence for a few seconds before continuing. There wasn’t even a comma!

    lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Smith/1796569689 Jake Smith

    Even worse about the whole “Yuna just sits there” thing is the fact that the game RIGHT before this had a part where a character is captured by something and he actually HELPS.

    For those who don’t know; *Minor Spoilers*

    Early on in Final Fantasy IX Vivi gets captured by a giant plant thingy, and instead of sitting there being Vivi (No matter how awesome he is) he actually uses his magic to help Steiner and Zidane fight it….more proof that by this time the creators of FF are tired of this shit but don’t want to run out of money so they force out games like 8, 10 and 13 (Yes, I actually liked 12) just for the money.

    Let’s be fair here, Tidus’ voice is screeching and annoying, but at least he’s not Hope, that stupid unadulterated fucktard. I actually thought he was going to be canon fodder or a small side character, another reason I hate being wrong.

    Wait a second…cutting out the god awful MMO….is FF picking up the Indiana Jones suck levels? (Raiders was awesome, Temple of Doom was….okay….I guess, Crusade was AWESOME, and Crystal Skull was disappointing, not bad, just not what we wanted.)

  • Anonymous

    Spoony abuses the Technical Difficulties joke too much… it’s still funny every time he does.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

      He’s only done it, like, 7 times in the whole of ever

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_M3WLXLM2BQRIXPKQUX7FB7C5LI Brendan

    I’m fairly sure that VIII,X,and XIII had different development teams working on them.

    Also Tidus is far more annoying than Hope.
    Hope becomes bearable a few chapters in, he’s also not the main character, which helps.

    Then again I really don’t understand people’s absolute hatred of Hope.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Marshall/100000485803136 Jake Marshall

    lmao at the ending. Girly yell ftw!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Tran/678216422 Jonathan Tran

    I think they are afraid of f*cking it up some how….then their one good 3d final fantasy is gone ~_@

  • http://openid-provider.appspot.com/T6600C Yushatak

    That art design thing – I know exactly what you mean… I hated Zelda Windwaker for that reason, could not STAND seeing Link with a big head running around in cell-shaded land – it didn’t look like a Zelda game at all. I kept saying to my friends that it might be good, but I can’t play it.. never heard anybody else have that problem but you now, Spoony.

  • Anonymous

    Dude, you are seriously missing out by not playing FFIX just because of it’s art design. It gets REALLY good. Although I can probably understand why you’d hate FFX. Tidus is definitely a character not everyone (especially not you) will like, the story isn’t exactly Shakespeare, and it does seem to get pretty repetitive with it’s constant random battles. Overall though, I still liked the game, and I really like this review so far. Keep it up!

    • Rakkrakk

      Isn’t exactly Shakespeare? It’s not even Christopher “it’s almost above average” Paolini.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Mitacek/1944714 Eric Mitacek

    Probably someone else has also mentioned this, but choosing Zidane as the “furry” of the group is kind of strange given that there’s the dragoon-pretending-to-be-a-red-mage rat lady. His monkey tail is an allusion to Journey to the West’s Sun Wu’Kong (or Son Gokuu if you’re a proper weeaboo), who apparently all of east Asia has a gigantic totally-not-gay hard-on for. In general, if you see someone with a monkey’s tail they’re going to be clever, impulsive, and ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING that doesn’t involve having a measure of restraint. The Stone Monkey’s exploits rank up there in badassery with the Norse pantheon, and we’re meant to understand he’s a lady-killing, monster-taming bad-ass who triumphs because he’s ridiculously strong and triumphs with style because he’s ridiculously clever.

    That said, I don’t think I’ve even gotten to the second disk. It could turn into a giant fetch-quest slog. Maybe I should start again though. It seems like very time I start playing it in earnest stuff starts happening in real life, and I could do with more stuff happening.

    Finally, maybe you should re-evaluate the older Final Fantasies. Maybe you just don’t like the Final Fantasy formula as much as your rose-tinted glasses make you think.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

    Honestly, I love Spoony I really do but his view on FF9, I’m sorry but I just don’t see it, Zidane was never ‘whiny’ and the story and Character Design were a direct throwback to the old times which I loved and you would think he would love. FF9 was arguably the last Final Fantasy we had and I love Zidane and Dagger (or whatever you named her) for it.

    • Anonymous

      “the story and Character Design were a direct throwback to the old times which I loved and you would think he would love.”

      To be fair, we never saw those character designs as anything other than 24×16 sprites. Yes, they looked super-deformed, but one could easily think that this was done out of necessity of the limited graphics than out of that being what the game’s art style as truly intended to be.

      Me personally? I never imagined that the characters looked SD like their sprites.

      Also, Cecil and Terra were *not* children. The earlier FF games didn’t do the whole “child hero” thing (though there were occasionally children with them).

    • Anonymous

      “the story and Character Design were a direct throwback to the old times which I loved and you would think he would love.”

      To be fair, we never saw those character designs as anything other than 24×16 sprites. Yes, they looked super-deformed, but one could easily think that this was done out of necessity of the limited graphics than out of that being what the game’s art style as truly intended to be.

      Me personally? I never imagined that the characters looked SD like their sprites.

      Also, Cecil and Terra were *not* children. The earlier FF games didn’t do the whole “child hero” thing (though there were occasionally children with them).

    • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

      I recall the reason for not liking FF9 being the art style rather than the protagonist being ‘whiny’. Specifically the super-deformed furry androgynous characters that remind him of everything he hates about anime.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558690417 Greg Steffensen

    I love you, Spoony, but hear me out on this one:
    I loved FFX. I’m sorry.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      Most people did.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      Most people did.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      Most people did.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558690417 Greg Steffensen

    I love you, Spoony, but hear me out on this one:
    I loved FFX. I’m sorry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558690417 Greg Steffensen

    I love you, Spoony, but hear me out on this one:
    I loved FFX. I’m sorry.

  • http://twitter.com/Horner23 Jordan Horner

    Wow my brother told me to check this b/c it was funny. This guy isn’t funny, and finds stupid reasons to hate a game. Why is this guy popular?

    • Anonymous

      Why do you insist on flaming? There really isn’t a point other than trying to cause trouble.

      Stupid reasons? What is wrong with his reasons to hate this game? Obviously if you hadn’t noticed, many of the things he pointed out, were pretty valid. Instead of vaguely stating that he isn’t a good reviewer, why not give us an actual reason why you do not like it?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        Don’t see anything that resembles a review in these videos.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=733077305 Joe Buckley

          Well he is providing criticisms of the game and valid ones at that. How is that not a review?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        Don’t see anything that resembles a review in these videos.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

        Don’t see anything that resembles a review in these videos.

    • Anonymous

      Why do you insist on flaming? There really isn’t a point other than trying to cause trouble.

      Stupid reasons? What is wrong with his reasons to hate this game? Obviously if you hadn’t noticed, many of the things he pointed out, were pretty valid. Instead of vaguely stating that he isn’t a good reviewer, why not give us an actual reason why you do not like it?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      He doesn’t hate the game, he’s finding this in the game to make jokes about. Big difference.

  • http://twitter.com/Horner23 Jordan Horner

    Wow my brother told me to check this b/c it was funny. This guy isn’t funny, and finds stupid reasons to hate a game. Why is this guy popular?

  • http://twitter.com/Horner23 Jordan Horner

    Please get off the internet :)

    • Anonymous

      Erm, I’m sorry, I pretty sure he has just as much a right to the internet as you do, Jordan. It’s a free internet. This is his site. Why don’t YOU get off?

    • Anonymous

      Erm, I’m sorry, I pretty sure he has just as much a right to the internet as you do, Jordan. It’s a free internet. This is his site. Why don’t YOU get off?

  • http://twitter.com/Horner23 Jordan Horner

    Please get off the internet :)

  • http://tasoku.deviantart.com Evon Le

    Random but, did anyone else notice Auron pulls a sword out of nowhere to give to Tidus? Did he just have one b/c he knows Tidus can’t wield the deadly blitzball properly as a weapon?

  • http://tasoku.deviantart.com Evon Le

    Random but, did anyone else notice Auron pulls a sword out of nowhere to give to Tidus? Did he just have one b/c he knows Tidus can’t wield the deadly blitzball properly as a weapon?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Connor-Buchanan/100001357519858 Connor Buchanan

    Spoony you gotta get to work finishing this review. They are coming out with 14 soon and a review needs to be done on FF 13 and how god awful that one was too

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      13 was good. Just a bit difficult for americans I guess

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Williams/600640077 Sam Williams

    Is it just me or have Square Enix just completely lost their way. I haven’t played many final fantasy games but I did enjoy 1 and 7 when I played 10 I hated it and when I played a demo of 13 I made up my mind in about 10 minutes not to buy it. But the crowning disopointment for me was infinite undiscovery, I played it for a couple of hours when I bought it second hand a couple of months ago and then gave up and started re-playing Dragon Age and Mass Effect 2 for about the third time to get rid of the memory. Tried it again about a month later thought I was being a little harsh on it maybe 30 minutes before I gave up, then the other day played it for 5 minutes took it out and put it on my trading in pile it is now gone.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      You not liking newer FF games doesn’t mean that the #1 game company of all time has “lost their way”.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olof-Albiin/699756171 Olof Albiin

        You mean that Telltale Games has lost their way? Because you were speaking of the #1 game company, right?

      • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

        Actually, it does seem to imply that Square has ‘lost their way’ since obviously the longtime fans of the franchise are losing their interest in a series they have enjoyed for decades.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Palsgaard/1302800961 Jacob Palsgaard

        MILLIONS agree with him that the final fantasy games are getting shittier, that’s not a f*cking coincidence. You’re an idiot and a douche bag and you deserve to be tortured for all eternity. GET A F*CKING LIFE AND ACQUIRE SOME TASTE.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Palsgaard/1302800961 Jacob Palsgaard

        MILLIONS agree with him that the final fantasy games are getting shittier, that’s not a f*cking coincidence. You’re an idiot and a douche bag and you deserve to be tortured for all eternity. GET A F*CKING LIFE AND ACQUIRE SOME TASTE.

  • http://twitter.com/ConanSan ConanSan

    *Music as BL!Spoony appears* Melvin? Oh shit, guys, Hugs of death!!

  • http://twitter.com/ConanSan ConanSan

    *Music as BL!Spoony appears* Melvin? Oh shit, guys, Hugs of death!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JLXQ5556BVPEJIF5IFZ6VV5F5Q Lily

    Rikku is actually 17 in X-2 but i see what you mean….wow now im gonna feel like a creeper when i play X-2

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JLXQ5556BVPEJIF5IFZ6VV5F5Q Lily

    Rikku is actually 17 in X-2 but i see what you mean….wow now im gonna feel like a creeper when i play X-2

  • Brandon Lee Woodard

    spoony really want to see u tair that butter fly catching side quest in a new ass hole

  • http://www.facebook.com/burntfuzz Connor Wojtowicz

    Spoony hates furries?, My love of spoony has just increased.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=727765104 Ahsen Mohammad Qureshi

    dude you are awsome. hahahaha fucking hilarious. keep it up

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

    I agree with almost all of Spoony’s opinions about the FF series except this one, FF9 was the last great Final Fantasy and I happen to love the character design and art direction and Zidane actually wasn’t whiny at all, he was happy and hit on girls all the time.

    • Benuben

      His dislike of the 9 seems to be more of a personal preference.

  • http://twitter.com/EliroX904 Eli C

    I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Final Fantasy X. Thank you for bringing justice to this pile of crap.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Panda-Mann/100001620785597 Panda Mann

      If think FFX is bad, then you don’t like games since it’s one of the best of all time. Also, when stating your retarded opinion, don’t state it as a fact. It’s not.

      • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

        “since it’s one of the best of all time”

        “Also, when stating your retarded opinion, don’t state it as a fact. It’s not. ”

        Y’know, your argument would probably have been a lot stronger if you had just followed the advice you gave in the very next sentence.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jd-Makaro/1295349725 Jd Makaro

    I liked FFX. I thought it was a good game, and I agree with Spoony on nearly every aspect; and NO this is NOT and oxymoron. I thought it could have been SO MUCH BETTER had Tidus and Jecht not been in the game at all, but I guess Square didn’t want to pull another “FFVII” and make the game TOO GOOD to top. :
    The combat system was one of the best in the series, imo, and I loved the interface. Just Tidus drove me to near insanity, to the point where I had to LEAVE THE ROOM for nearly every cutscene in the game after I beat it the first time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Reise-Tschosik/100000132904998 Reise Tschosik

    That whatever it is from FF9 isn’t furry. Its some preteen girl who dresses poorly and wears a tail.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/XPDOS2PVL2CBLH56QAYK22PLCE Dass

      It baffles me too, I mean I know there’s all those misconceptions (which, admittedly, are partially [PARTIALLY!] true), and admittedly it’s a bit weird, but that doesn’t seem like it justifies it. Maybe people are just assholes… yeah, that’s probably it.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/XPDOS2PVL2CBLH56QAYK22PLCE Dass

      It baffles me too, I mean I know there’s all those misconceptions (which, admittedly, are partially [PARTIALLY!] true), and admittedly it’s a bit weird, but that doesn’t seem like it justifies it. Maybe people are just assholes… yeah, that’s probably it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Gliebe/100000044684418 Ryan Gliebe

    Just goes to show its a “to each his/her own” type thing. I still think FFIX is the best in the series, followed closely by the older titles. FFX, FFVIII and, most of all, FFVII are exactly what the series should never be… and all three have some of the worst main characters and annoying cast within the series, like FFX’s babbling whiny Tidus, FFVII’s cross dressing emo Cloud and FFVIII’s …very emo Squall.

    I feel about FFVII how Spoony feels about FFIX, just can’t get past the art design. Is it medieval? Is it sci-fi? Meh. There’s good things about it, but its just not as great as people make it out to be and very mediocre.

    As for FFX, I didn’t like it much, either. Whiny lead, horrible villain, dull story and… Rikku. Ugh, Rikku.

    • http://twitter.com/19darkknight87 James Penix

      My opinion of FF7 hasn’t changed much, but I see why Cloud is the way he is from playing Crisis Core. Unlike Squall, whom I fucking hated, Cloud actually has a reason. FF9’s Zidane is a hero I actually liked; upbeat a good deal, not relentlessly optimistic, there was one scene where he was a bit pervy lol, he actually has character. Gameplay, 7 was good, traditional RPG, 8 was meh, 9 an 10 were good. 12 was tolerable, just again with the weak ass whiny hero. They should have kept Basch as the main hero.

    • http://twitter.com/19darkknight87 James Penix

      My opinion of FF7 hasn’t changed much, but I see why Cloud is the way he is from playing Crisis Core. Unlike Squall, whom I fucking hated, Cloud actually has a reason. FF9’s Zidane is a hero I actually liked; upbeat a good deal, not relentlessly optimistic, there was one scene where he was a bit pervy lol, he actually has character. Gameplay, 7 was good, traditional RPG, 8 was meh, 9 an 10 were good. 12 was tolerable, just again with the weak ass whiny hero. They should have kept Basch as the main hero.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_J64UPULA5ANN4WGN5C3RGTLKSA Jesse

    wow,square dont listen to people like spoony,they say things to just get attention,and really dont care about how the next games turn out./.so please go back to making games like you used to

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PHH2PXLWAW3QCZLPW5CSZQQCFU Kevin D

    this guy is a fucking idiot, dude you have no idea what the fuck you are doing or talking about

    • http://twitter.com/Poshocloscorn :T

      no u

    • Anonymous

      said by teh person with teh tatue of the pillsberry douge boy with super mans shirt on

    • Anonymous

      said by teh person with teh tatue of the pillsberry douge boy with super mans shirt on

  • http://twitter.com/19darkknight87 James Penix

    Jecht is an asshole of a father, Tidus is a whiny little prick. Auron, and the others that don’t say much (I think it’s just Kimahri) are the really cool ones.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000060900401 Vilhelm Leppälä

    Dude! you don’t know anything about final fantasy! Tidus just got young mind, and hes just “newbie” like wakka said at kilika at the beginning. but the point is: SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU! ARE! CLUELES! and besides. YOU ARE FUCKING ANNOYING! SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!

  • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

    Though I’ve quite enjoyed the time I’ve spent playing Final Fantasy X I find myself agreeing with everything you say is wrong with the game, with the sole exception of the Blitzball being the dumbest weapon ever found in an FF game. You see, a ball that’s used for playing underwater waterpolo is bound to be very heavy and if kicked with enough force to hit an enemy in the air would be very damaging.

    Much more so than, say Setzer’s playing cards from FF6. I mean seriously, have you tried hitting someone by throwing a playing card at them? Though the cake is taken by the NukeBomb you get in Final Fantasy Legend II because there’s nothing quite as dumb as throwing a frigging nuke at an enemy whose proximity would put you well within the blast radius of said nuke, not to mention the radiation poisoning you’d get from having to walk past where the boss was standing (since they so often just exist to block your way out of their base and stuff)

  • http://www.facebook.com/YourD Jordy Den Hartog

    Though I’ve quite enjoyed the time I’ve spent playing Final Fantasy X I find myself agreeing with everything you say is wrong with the game, with the sole exception of the Blitzball being the dumbest weapon ever found in an FF game. You see, a ball that’s used for playing underwater waterpolo is bound to be very heavy and if kicked with enough force to hit an enemy in the air would be very damaging.

    Much more so than, say Setzer’s playing cards from FF6. I mean seriously, have you tried hitting someone by throwing a playing card at them? Though the cake is taken by the NukeBomb you get in Final Fantasy Legend II because there’s nothing quite as dumb as throwing a frigging nuke at an enemy whose proximity would put you well within the blast radius of said nuke, not to mention the radiation poisoning you’d get from having to walk past where the boss was standing (since they so often just exist to block your way out of their base and stuff)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Glass-E-Mpty/100001764877135 Glass E. Mpty

    when he says this guy about wakka he kinda turns to christopher walken seriously

  • http://twitter.com/Poshocloscorn :T

    This video is pure comedical material.
    Some of the material is based in objective facts.
    Some other in subjective facts, and that makes this video only likeable by the people who share those subjective points aswell.

    However, those subjective points, are based in other facts that were NOT mentioned here, and those facts alone would have made the video even more comical for everyone.

    Good job though, I didn’t like FFX for all these reasons, and the subjective reasons, have objective reasons behind too.

  • http://www.trzr23.blogspot.com trzr23

    Made my day. I’m putting this on my blog :D (google trzr23)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

      No body cares about your blog.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FUDFKPYRPXHDH26ORZZDYL2D4E AishaLove

    If you did not like the hitchhiker’s guide movie, watch the BBC series it’s awesome!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olli-Johannes-Suvinen/1182935768 Olli Johannes Suvinen

    Don’t worry Noah, at least FF9 doesn’t have whiny ass pansy main character.
    No-ho, he’s anything but whiny. But don’t worry, you’ll get a whiny midget who… Well, is possible the most useful character in the whole game.

    • Anonymous

      A little kid trying to find out the secret of living a full life is whiny?

    • Anonymous

      A little kid trying to find out the secret of living a full life is whiny?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

        From japan? Yes. They don’t really know how to do kids who want to know about life any other way.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olli-Johannes-Suvinen/1182935768 Olli Johannes Suvinen

    Don’t worry Noah, at least FF9 doesn’t have whiny ass pansy main character.
    No-ho, he’s anything but whiny. But don’t worry, you’ll get a whiny midget who… Well, is possible the most useful character in the whole game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olli-Johannes-Suvinen/1182935768 Olli Johannes Suvinen

    Don’t worry Noah, at least FF9 doesn’t have whiny ass pansy main character.
    No-ho, he’s anything but whiny. But don’t worry, you’ll get a whiny midget who… Well, is possible the most useful character in the whole game.

  • Anonymous

    You missed your first Ass Count at 8:18!!

  • Anonymous

    You missed your first Ass Count at 8:18!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Hayden/1720262285 Matt Hayden

    Awesome as always Spoony!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Hayden/1720262285 Matt Hayden

    Awesome as always Spoony!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Hayden/1720262285 Matt Hayden

    Awesome as always Spoony!

  • Anonymous

    Hey, not saying that you should force yourself to play Final Fantasy 9 but… there was one (1) furry character in the main party. A furry, not furries.

    Freya Crescent is a humanoid rodent, the others… well, not really 100% sure what the hell Quina is (the party members can’t even figure out his/her gender). Zidane is a furry if you consider having a tail making you a furry. I mean hell if thats all it takes then half the cast from Dragonball are furries! Eiko isn’t a furry in that she has a horn either, Final Fantasy summoners have had horns since the original Final Fantasy 3 (NES). Its like Black Mages and pointy hats. Horn = Summoner.

    I will agree that the art style is pretty cutesy, but yeah, thats been bugging me for a while now.

    Also, lay off the damn furries. I’ve known some creepy ones, but you get weirdos in every social group. For every X people who’ve ever enjoyed Science Fiction you know there’s a handfull who lost their virginity to a Chewbacca plush.

    • Anonymous

      hate to correct but there is two in that little movie one is teh main charecter or at least form wat i can see

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

      I don’t think Zidane qualifies at all as a furry for owning a tail it kinda goes along with his Thief type class.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ItWasSuperEffective Liz Arren Weissman

      You should probably keep in mind that there is a difference between anthropomorphic animals and furries. Just sayin’.

  • Anonymous

    Apparently an auroch is basicaly a cow.Hmph.

  • Anonymous

    Apparently an auroch is basicaly a cow.Hmph.

  • Anonymous

    Apparently an auroch is basicaly a cow.Hmph.

  • Anonymous

    Apparently an auroch is basicaly a cow.Hmph.

  • Anonymous

    Flawless Macho Man impersonation.

    • Anonymous

      still titus is about twenty (even though i would say six + mangiana) and that is were he draws the line

    • Anonymous

      still titus is about twenty (even though i would say six + mangiana) and that is were he draws the line

    • Anonymous

      still titus is about twenty (even though i would say six + mangiana) and that is were he draws the line

  • Anonymous

    Flawless Macho Man impersonation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    Wow Spoony’s rage against Tidus is what I go through whenever I think of why I hate Tyler Durden.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

    Wow Spoony’s rage against Tidus is what I go through whenever I think of why I hate Tyler Durden.

  • magerker

    @Lily I never found Rikku’s sexualitation to be creepy. Yes, she’s 15, she’s underage but at the same time, she can legally engage into sexual intercourse with anyone she wants, so? Besides, clothing apart she was cheerful and likeable.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

      actually no she cant. Not in EVERY state of the US at least. Because if she has sex with someone that is 18 or over that is statutory rape. She can have sex with anyone she wants under that age limit until she hits eighteen. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31708487 Brittany Louis

        Remember this is a fantasy guys… there are no ages of consent… cause no one is fucking in this game. Plus she’s obviously old enough to kill shit in this fictional world… I figure if you’re old enough to participate in warfare, you’re old enough to bang. lol

  • http://www.youtube.com/TheIronweasle The Iron Weasel

    Ease up on the furries dude, besides, she/he/it? was a neko or something

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

      What’s the difference?
      The only difference is the amount of FUR.

      • http://www.youtube.com/TheIronweasle The Iron Weasel

        It’s an anime thing, I don’t know that much about it but nekos are much more anime-like it’s hard to explain.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

          Tell me about. I know what both are and I still don’t know the difference besides fur.

          • http://www.facebook.com/ItWasSuperEffective Liz Arren Weissman

            Nekos are generally just cats. Furries are pretty much any animal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000313140897 Kira Alvis

    To be honest, I played FFX, but I don’t remember very much. But I do remember watching my brother playing COUNTLESS hours of the game. He said it was okay, and then he watched Spoony’s review about the game, and agreed with EVERYTHING he said. I would still play the game, but considering my short attention span, I would give up on the game. But I want to play FF7 that looks really fun, and so does FF9.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

    Huh, it just hit me:

    Rikku is in this game just for creepy fanboys to jerk off to, and “Turning Japanese” is a song about masturbating.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31708487 Brittany Louis

      well she is a child of the machine revolution… but she could’ve worn more clothing. However the ultra slut wear is kind of a Japanese thing and I can’t see them, not including atleast one character for jerkoff-ability. Atleast 1.

  • http://twitter.com/Parasceptic Paranormal Skeptic

    FFX was one of those games I really wanted to like a lot. I still love a lot of the visual design and especially the music, but it was just way too linear for me to get into. Which I guess also sums up my feelings about FFXIII, although with that game I think I’m the only person alive who actually liked the plot and characters. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/pat4luigi16 Patrick McCollum

    I’ve actually recently met a Rikku cosplayer at the Anime Blues-Con. Now I don’t use words such as hot or sexy to describe women, but yha she was…maturely-beautiful.  Also, she was very nice. My friends kept “stealing” her sword form her, not really. 

    My point is, cosplaying isn’t creepy at all, in fact, I might cosplay sometime at MTAC.

  • http://twitter.com/Belpheron Belpheron

    Words cannot express how much I hate that abomination called Tidus.

  • http://profiles.google.com/zfriedcod john henry

    FF9 art style is UBER FUCKING LAMEASS

    and that corny style of like bioshock and fallout 3 … no no no.. those games are garbage i hate that art so much grrr… :D :P

    • Mike Socarras

      …Are you saying Bioshock’s stylistic art deco and Fallout 3’s meticulously detailed 50s retro look are “corny”? Compared to what, ANY of the Final Fantasy games?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000567696976 Shawn Reese

    and actually they show you in final fantasy x that they put oxygen tablets in their mouths for blitz ball

    • Anonymous

      When? Never ever noticed that and finished it quite a few times :S

    • Anonymous

      When? Never ever noticed that and finished it quite a few times :S

    • Tim Parker

      oh really? thats kinda cool

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Obrien/100000564500734 Sean Obrien

    was i the only person who actually liked tidus?

    • Maria Lee

      Yes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289651198 Tyler CokeWizard

      I liked him as well.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31708487 Brittany Louis

      I liked Yuna’s storyline and I liked Wakka for being funny despite the death of his brother, I liked Kimarhi for being strong and silent, I thought Rikku was a touch annoying, I loved Auron for being a snarky dead asshat,  but I loved Lulu’s dismal goth approach to life.

      The one thing I do agree about in this review is that Tidus is kind of a twat and I found him annoying and whiny as well. I know it’s purposeful but I still hated it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Laus/100000158877077 David Laus

    Do you really have a Kefka outfit, Spoony?  If so, that’s just awesome!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002487435590 Ryan Garside

    This has probably been said millions of times already and I may be the minority here. but I’ve gotta say I much prefer Spoony’s old live action intro. Except for the swat 4 jokes. Love me some swat 4 jokes. your in my spot sir.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Yeah, the opening animation isn’t that good. But a fan made it, so Noah is just showing a bit of love.

      You don’t seem like much of a troll. In fact you seem kind of nice.

  • Rob Sandroni

    Odd. When you were reviewing FF8, you said that the dog launcher was the stupidest weapon in the series, including Wakka’s volleyball. Now you say Wakka’s volleyball is the stupidest weapon in the series, including the dog launcher. So which one is it?

  • Rob Sandroni

    Odd. When you were reviewing FF8, you said that the dog launcher was the stupidest weapon in the series, including Wakka’s volleyball. Now you say Wakka’s volleyball is the stupidest weapon in the series, including the dog launcher. So which one is it?

    • http://twitter.com/megarobbie7 robbie decourcey

      Do not question the logic of The Spoony One

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1289651198 Tyler CokeWizard

    I always liked FFX.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WU5RYW27I4QYGG43DROO2CLFQU Vin

    God you suck at reviewing games. Its a 10 year old game of course things arent going to be perfect. But you call out everything in the game. Stuff thats not even terrible you twist it in your way to make it seem stupid. FFX is a great game. Yes it is FANTASY. Meaning were rules dont apply. You need a new hobby cuz you suck at this one.

    • Matt Stymets

      Wow. I can’t believe you just called out one of the most beloved reviews ever. What’s the matter fanboy, can’t get over your love for Tidus to admit that this game has it’s flaws? What exactly does he call out that should be cast of as fantasy? The main character is an annoying twerp that whines about his daddy issues whilst Yuna is literally playing Jesus in order to stop a giant monster from destroying the land. I do believe that is a valid point. The characters all have stupid looking costume designs. I can agree that to an extent RPG’s should be able to get away with this, but when your characters all look so stupid that no one can look at them without laughing out loud than you have failed as a game designer. Do you have an issue with the weapons in this game? I can admit that some of the weapons, as silly looking as they are, can get away with it in Final Fantasy. However, the fact that the most powerful weapon in this game is a volleyball is inexcusable.

      P.S. If you don’t like Spoony, than why did you bother to come to HIS website to post your hatred for him. With that I say goodbye troll and have fun playing Final Fantasy X until the end of time

      • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

        Thank you. Yeesh I mean it, what it the point of watching something you dislike.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WU5RYW27I4QYGG43DROO2CLFQU Vin

        Im sorry i cant have an opinion and point out flaws this pathetic “reviewer” makes? Were in my post did i say i sought this guy out mainly because he dislikes the game and i was a fanboy? I am not a fanboy but i indeed do love the game. I got a post to check out this guys review so naturally i checked it out and pointed out his pathetic arguments. Whats the point of calling out Blitzball? its a damn game underwater congratz. Maybe the ball is specially designed to float underwater ever think of that? I sure did when i was eight…because i dont kno i saw the games name? 

        He argues EVERYTHING its annoying. Example two when he points out after he gets rescued from Rikku that the word “Zanarkand” may offend others. And not 4 minutes later Tidus is talking to Wakka about how he played for the Zanarkand Abes. If you scanned his personalty you should already know this guy likes to somewhat brag so why not when your a superstar of a sport team? Name a superstar that does not brag? James Arnold Taylor is a fantastic voice actor. Whines about his Daddy issues? Well if you were always getting compared and put down by your father wouldn’t you have some sort of feeling towards him? Or lets say the Average person. I like the costume designs its something not of this world, Original! Different! Your calling Tetsuya Nomura a failed designer…As for the most powerful weapon yeah its a volleyball but whats stopping you from not using it? Is it difficult to cast it aside? You act like you HAVE to use it or something. And its not that i dont like Spoony i was just directed to his site and i wrote a comment towards his stupid lecture on FFX. It gets annoying when your review consists of nonstop bitching about things that are meaningless.      

        I apologize if i hurt anyones feelings. 

        • Tim Parker

          your message is too long

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

            He thinks if he keeps talking, he will say something that is correct out of sheer luck. It worked, he got one.

            Unfortunately, that’s a drop in the bucket.

        • Anonymous

          Did you seriously just spend like four paragraphs insulting someone, calling him “pathetic,” calling his review “stupid,” typing out a massive tl;dr bitch-fest about how someone dared to insult your beloved video game and then wind it up by saying “I apologize if i[sic] hurt anyones [sic] feelings”?

          I just wanted to take a moment to say that I seriously feel bad for you. I actually feel sympathy for your condition. It really has to suck, having such a rare deformity. I speak, of course, to being a fanboy, and therefore ostensibly male, and yet being completely devoid of balls. If you’re going to insult people on the internet, then at least have the testicular fortitude to not conclude your shrill ranting with an insincere apology towards the people who might have been offended by your foaming-mouthed fanboy idiocy.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

            This guy isn’t sorry for anything, he is being sarcastic.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

          He calls out Blitzball because the difficulty curve is ridiculous, the AI is broken, and it is so poorly done that one wonders why it was included in the first place. That’s why he calls it out, and those are good reasons to do so.

          Yes, he argues that EVERYTHING is annoying. He also backs it up.

          And yes, Titus may well be a braggart, but admitting something like that is REALLY stupid, beyond simple pride.

          James Arnold Taylor is a good voice actor. Do I need to replay the laughing scene again for you? Or just about any time Titus opens his mouth to emit that nasally, overconfident screeching he calls a voice?

          And ignoring how shoehorned Titus daddy issues feel, it doesn’t even make sense. If Titus really did have father issues, why is he so confident? Is he trying to prove his father wrong? Okay, you have one point. One. But having a more likable character, maybe even explaining Titus’s feelings or the adverse effect his father issues have would make this way stronger.

          Whether or not you use it, a volleyball is a stupid weapon. This has less to do with combat and more to do with the logic of the FFX universe, which already makes little sense.

          And finally, you act as though he is nitpicking. Well a failure to do proper sidequests, character personalities, aesthetic design, level design, voice acting, loose logic, and poor presentation of very important subjects are not nitpicks. They are the little things that make a game great.

          There, I just toppled all but one of your arguments. You may take Titus’s daddy issues and go home now. And don’t call people names, it won’t convince anyone to believe what you say. Try logic instead.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_57M4Y24N243IA2GYMQVQZK54JI Don

      Seriously? I mean really? Why do fanboys speak?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_57M4Y24N243IA2GYMQVQZK54JI Don

      Seriously? I mean really? Why do fanboys speak?

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WU5RYW27I4QYGG43DROO2CLFQU Vin

        Yes seriously. I am not a fanboy. I do in fact love this game to death for when i first played it when i was eight years old, but i do in fact see flaws and such for the game. The acting isnt as horrible as some think. Laughing scene for example it was to help Yuna in a bad time. I dont understand how people do not get that. Look past some stuff.

        • Tim Parker

          Im just throwing this out there but if you love a game to death then I believe that would be classified as liking it so much in fact that it might be classified as being a fan and if you happen to be a boy(I assume so your name is vin but hey I dont judge) I would even go far as to call you a boy thats a fan or fanboy

        • coostercookie

          Vin don’t bother watching the review if your just going to complain. your just one person and you can’t change anything. no one wants to hear your opinion because you take things too seriously and it’s tedious and pathetic hearing your winnig on. it’s just a game review, not everyone loves FFX and no one on this page loves or respects you. you are not significant. you are not worth anyones time. give up.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jbhaslach John Barton Haslach

      get a life.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WU5RYW27I4QYGG43DROO2CLFQU Vin

        I have a life and i gave out my opinion of a review that bashes everything.  

        • Mike Socarras

          Maybe your precious game is really not that good… the things he criticizes are not based upon technology – games made today are not automatically better than older ones. In fact, most popular new games (aka “New Generic FPS”) plain suck compared to many old games.

    • Tim Parker

      I thought the game was ok too I mean I didnt love it but I also didnt play all the way through however he brings up good points and its funny if you dont want to hear something negative about final fantasy ten then how about you try a place that doesnt place negative reviews or make your own review 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Right. Because all of those things suck and deserve to be mentioned.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WU5RYW27I4QYGG43DROO2CLFQU Vin

    God you suck at reviewing games. Its a 10 year old game of course things arent going to be perfect. But you call out everything in the game. Stuff thats not even terrible you twist it in your way to make it seem stupid. FFX is a great game. Yes it is FANTASY. Meaning were rules dont apply. You need a new hobby cuz you suck at this one.

  • Anonymous

    “Have you ever had a game where you could even agree it might be a great game, but there was just something about the art design that you just couldn’t get past?”

    … Welcome to roughly half of my reason for hating XIII. >> The final boss being basically freaking Yu Yevon doesn’t help matters, but it really is mostly just how godawful the art design is, and how stupid they made most of the classic summons look (besides Alexander, he’s a bamf), along with the game somehow finding ways every three or four minutes to make me rage out, that makes me hate the game. I can honestly understand how people like the game (unlike Tidus), but I will never be able to bring myself to enjoy it.
    Oh, and we’re in total agreement that Zaphod’s design in the movie was [EFF]ing stupid. That’s not why the movie sucked though.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31708487 Brittany Louis

      For me it was the cut scenes at every available moment in the game and the insistence to tell the story through those cut scenes instead of through gameplay. XIII was just… a lesson in everything wrong. Remember the beginning cutscene when the burly blonde proposes to the purple haired girls sister? It takes like 5 minutes to get to the proposal and they spend a solid like 3 minutes just watching shit fly through the sky. It’s like the game devs went “OMG guys! Lets make a 20 hour movie and then call it a game! We’ll tell the story with all the pretty graphics” and another said “Oh hey! I just learned how to make really detailed sprawling backgrounds! We should use those in HD!” the others all said “Totes! I have a great idea, lets make it a love story with a twist! OMG ROMEO AND JULIETTE STAR CROSSED LOVERS. She’s gonna turn into a big bad monster and he still loves her, that is sooooooo romantic!” and the whole room squeed and then got to work. I feel like XIII was just as chick pander-y as X-2.

      So in short XIII was too long, too verbos, weird plot and full of obvious pandering to those of us with vaginas.

  • Anonymous

    “Have you ever had a game where you could even agree it might be a great game, but there was just something about the art design that you just couldn’t get past?”

    … Welcome to roughly half of my reason for hating XIII. >> The final boss being basically freaking Yu Yevon doesn’t help matters, but it really is mostly just how godawful the art design is, and how stupid they made most of the classic summons look (besides Alexander, he’s a bamf), along with the game somehow finding ways every three or four minutes to make me rage out, that makes me hate the game. I can honestly understand how people like the game (unlike Tidus), but I will never be able to bring myself to enjoy it.
    Oh, and we’re in total agreement that Zaphod’s design in the movie was [EFF]ing stupid. That’s not why the movie sucked though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=701886338 Andri Hjartarson
  • http://www.facebook.com/awelcruiz Adam Welsh

    I liked Final Fanatsy X. Also:

    1. It’s pronounced, “Teed-us”, not “Ty-tus”.

    2. Rikku is 17 in Final Fantasy X-2, since it’s set two years later.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=31708487 Brittany Louis

      Really it’s Teed-us? I’ve been saying it wrong for like… a decade. lol

    • http://twitter.com/RantingPhoenix Tiffany

       Is there really a set way to say his name? I always thought that there were two ways to say it, not just one

  • http://www.facebook.com/Velmoden Yoss Moto

    “listen to my story”..

    NOOOO fuck you!!! FUCK YOUR STORY IT SUCKS!!!  LMAO!!!

    btw <3 love the spoony one

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ares-Lancaster/1290777953 Ares Lancaster

    Yet another reason why I like Dissidia. Beating Tidus as Jecht, who is easily more manly than his son…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-Maxwell/576597222 Scott Maxwell

    Ugh the laugh scene, I cringed so hard I actually had to mute the game for several minutes

    I miss being able to name your characters. Curse you voice acting!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LEBIKHXSUF7FNM5ATMNJZ4TO6E Rosie

    lol I love Tidus. major fan girl. please don’t shoot me lol

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JEPZW7E65QQJA6ADUUN46CSEGQ Marco

    I strongest disagree with you on how much you hate this game Spoony

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JEPZW7E65QQJA6ADUUN46CSEGQ Marco

    Hey Spoony; … FFX REMAKE; FFX REMASTERED ON PS3. Yes

    • Jeremy Lee

      oh god no….why not FF7? but FFX….(facepalm)

      • tim edgren

        EXACTLY. I want a remastered FF7 dammit.
        and a remastered..um… god I mix up the numbers..but I wanna see Cecil in awesome PS3 graphics.. 3D CECIL!

        • Jeremy Lee

          i have had conversations with my class mates, and while i couldnt argue the simple fact that it would take too long to do because youd most likely have to redesign everything,  even knowing you could use advent children for the model basis, but FFX? fuck that….

  • Anonymous

    What is it with America and family trees? Your farther/mother, have nothing to do with your life and reputation, your child/children have nothing to do with your life and reputation. Get it? You are a individual, you make your own decisions and destiny, you choose your own life. There is no such thing as family reputation. America, America, America *sigh*.

    • Anonymous

      ?

      That’s not really a big issue in America (In fact, not at all, from my estimation). Family trees are more a social concern in Japan and China.

      Of course, one could always say that depending on what your family has done, who you are related to, can, in fact have repercussions for you no matter where you are (for example, being related to a known crime family or a socially maligned individual can mean that despite your best efforts, you will be hated or condemned). As such even in individualistic societies, the actions of those we are related to, their reputation, can affect us and alter our destiny.

      • Anonymous

        Very well spoken. I stand corrected, it was a misunderstanding. Pardon.

        • Anonymous

          No problem. Anytime.

          BTW, on an unrelated note, you wouldn’t happen to be the same Zejex who posts on the old Battletech forums, would you?

          • Anonymous

            No, as far as I know, I’m the only person who have come up with this name on the planet, and it would be weird if not, as it is made from my own name. Well, hope the person was a good example.

          • Anonymous

            He was one of the better amateur writers I’ve read on the net and he was a great GM. A good man. So fear not: the one who shares your handle did it proud.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      I’ve always been really interested in American stereotypes from the views of other cultures.

      I mean, it seems that every other culture is fully aware of how it is stereotyped except for Americans, who are the ‘normal’ ones.

      What else you got under the racism tree?

  • http://profiles.google.com/netherwynd netherwynd

    She’s 17 in the sequel Spoony.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

      That’s…. Not much of an improvement.

  • Anonymous

    Well, I can understand how you can’t look past the art design. I personally really liked it. I wasn’t nuts about the way the people look, but I LOVED the environmental design. But it’s a very exaggerated style and I think for that to work it needs characters with exaggerated people, like a Disney movie. What I DO understand is how I a can ALMOST really love something, with Kill Bill I just found the Bride (some will laugh at this) TOO ruthless and sadistic, and I lost sympathy for her, and I didn’t want her to be raising a child, I fear for that little girl’s future.

    But man, I wish I knew some unbeatable argument that could talk you into being able to look past that, because you’re missing out on something great. It has elements the later games TRIED for, but here they’re done right. Zidane in my opinion, I think is the personality they were TRYING for in Tidus, in that he’s optimistic, chivalrous, and upbeat, but he’s not rock fucking stupid or whinier than spoiled two-year-old. He KNOWS his way around his world, in fact, everyone does. For the first disk and a half, we’re in a world that everyone knows, and we’re expected to roll with, like FFXIII’s presentation done right, where it plants us just in the middle of this world, but it explains way better, and it’s way easier to keep track of, and more interesting. And after like the halfway mark, you’re character is exploring unknown territory, but everyone is experiencing it together. I’ll admit the final boss is a letdown, and there’s a card game in it far worse than triple triad. But you only HAVE to play it once, and you don’t have to win, it gives you and item of little significance, it was either another card or something of no consequence. The chocobo one is very simple, even kinda fun sometimes, and the rewards are well worth it. They give you a nice edge without being game-breaking.

    It’s become my personal favorite, it took me several years and several playthroughs to decide that, because it would mean dethroning Final Fantasy VI, which is something I was NOT taking lightly.

  • Anonymous

    As for this game, just about everything you say is a fair and accurate point, but there was still just enough good to outweigh all the bad. In spite of everything, I still wound up with a game I enjoyed and was glad I played. It’s the last FF I can say that about, though.

  • http://twitter.com/Vaultdweller89 Daniel Bascombe

    hahaha i really like the picture of Dr insano as Kefka Palazzo from FFVI when you have a nervous breakdown for the first time. :)

  • tim edgren

    Auron should have been the main character… or maybe Yuna..but Auron is so awesome and has a great story. rikku’s not as bad as Misty from pokemon..huge porn fanbase and she starts out at 12.

    • Rakkrakk

      She doesn’t just start out as twelve… Like all characters she STAYS AT THAT AGE. Meaning she’s not even legal in Japan.

  • http://twitter.com/mysterycycle Devin Parker

    What must I do in order to obtain a dog-launcher? I can’t think of anything more wondrous.

  • Anonymous

    where can I find that version of “I think I’m turning Japanese”?

    • Jeremy Lee

      you tube, kirsten dunst. boosh!

  • Jeremy Lee

    ASS COUNT 2

    • Jeremy Lee

      additionally, quidditch is the gayest and stupidest and fakiest , save blitzball….no it really is.

  • gvv vv

    Now seeing as how I share the same hatred for both FF8 and FFX, I think it’ll be safe to say that you’re actually missing out on a great game with FF9. You might not even read this but I do hope you someday give it another shot. Cause it really is better than the turds you’ve been playing.

  • bob sanders

    9 is awesome, I hope you get over the hate one day :D

    Zidane is not a whiny bitch either, win-win!!!

    • Anonymous

      And he has an awesome name. Seriously, I love the name “Zidane”. One of my favourite FF character names next to “Locke” and “Seifer”.

  • Anonymous

    I’m shocked to see how many people on this site are actually defending FFIX as a “good” game.  My traumatic childhood memories of Final Fantasy started with that game.  Let me count the ways in which this game tormented my preadolescent soul…
     
    Like Spoony, I hated the art design.  I actually really liked the setting and background, but the character design was just awful.  I couldn’t find one likeable character out of the main cast.  (If I had played this game when I was in preschool I probably would have liked it a lot better.)  In the beginning of the game I kept hoping that Marcus would become a permanent playable character, but naturally the game wouldn’t grant me the satisfaction of having even one decent character in my party for the majority of the game. 
     
    Playing this game as a kid, I really resented the fact that the lead character looked young enough to be a boy in my grade who probably got his head shoved in a toilet on a regular basis.  Up through FFVII I greatly enjoyed playing strong, compelling leads that at least had the experience and maturity to be believable in their quest to save the world.  This game marked the beginning of Square using androgynous, prepubescent wimps as the main protagonists in the FF series.   (I agree that Squall wasn’t anything great, but at least I could believe he was actually male.)  We saw them continue that trend with Tidus in FFX and Vaan in FFXII.  Zidane may not be whiny and as annoying as Tidus; I’ll even admit that I liked his personality and thought that he was slightly reminiscent of Locke from FFVI.  But how anyone can look at him and keep a straight face is beyond me.  His hair is just as bad as Tidus’s, if not worse, and that’s not even mentioning the frilly lace ruffle over his vest with the green ribbon laced up to his neck that makes him look like he’s queer.  How could anyone believe this guy actually has a dick?  Plus I’ll never understand for the life of me why the game designers thought it would be “cool” to give him a tail. Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to have pansy-ass monkey boy as the game’s protagonist? 
     
    The only main character I could stand playing was Garnet, and she just looked like Tifa before she hit puberty.  I guess Vivi wasn’t that terrible either, and at least you could argue that he was a legitimate throw-back to the original game.  It just felt really stupid to me that the fate of the world was in the hands of a cast of characters where over half of them hadn’t even reached puberty.  At least with FFX you had one good main character: Auron.  With this game there really aren’t any.  Even the supporting characters (not counting Marcus) you get to play temporarily are terribly designed.  Blank could have been a pretty cool character if it wasn’t for the fact that he doesn’t even wear pants in the game, just a pair of leather briefs.  (What the fuck is that about?)  Cinna is easily the stupidest looking character of the Tantalus gang, if not in the entire series.  He looks like he’s Chef Boyardee’s illegitimate son. 
     
    There is one obvious exception, however.  Beatrix is the one and only great character in the entire game.  She actually looks really cool and totally kicks ass.  Of course, most of the times you encounter her in the game you have to fight her as a boss, and trust me she easily whoops your crappy party’s ass.  The only highlight of the game is when you actually get to play her (naturally, for only a good five or ten minutes…if you want to play her for a decent amount of time you have to have a Gameshark).
     
    Enough about the characters.  Now on to the minigames!  If you thought Triple Triad was bad, just wait until you play Tetra Master.  Yes, the fucking cards came back for a second game, and this time with a vengeance.  At least with Triple Triad, it was really straightforward and you knew the rules.  Granted, it was a total pain in the ass getting rid of the worst rules and stopping them from spreading, but at least you could theoretically do it.  With this game, they don’t tell you the rules; oh no, that would be too easy.  You have to figure them out for yourself.  By the time you think you finally understand it, the fucker you’re playing will pull a move that completely shatters the theoretical framework you had formed of the rules through trial and error.  (I eventually found out that when two cards “battle,” their stats are randomly chosen so even if you go through the trouble of learning the rules, you’re basically fucked.)  Plus every card, even multiple copies of the exact same card, is different; it has different values and different arrows that would turn other cards over.  So even if you get a rare card, it could completely suck if it has just one or two arrows in a bad place.  Even worse, if you lose one of your rare cards (since it will more than likely suck because it just has one or two arrows), you can play the person who took it from you only once to get it back, and if you don’t win it then it’s gone forever.  They WON’T play the card again.  This card game is just fucking evil.     
     
    And if you’re a perfectionist like me, and always try to get all the best items and weapons and explore everything when playing a Final Fantasy game (at least if it can be done in a reasonable amount of time), guess what?  You’re fucked.  It turns out that to get the best sword in the game, you have to get to the end of the game in under twelve hours.  So that means if you want the best sword, you can’t explore, you can’t talk with the townspeople, you can’t waste time engaging in these goddamn minigames to get the rest of the best items, you can’t spend time leveling up your characters to decent levels…basically you just have to haul ass through the game if you want Steiner’s best sword.  And of course I found this out fifteen hours in by skipping ahead in the strategy guide.  (Yes, I actually used to buy the strategy guides for these games because I’m obsessive compulsive and try to get everything.  This was before I had high-speed internet and found I could get all of that information for free.)
     
    Which brings me to the final thing that made me want to smash the game into a million tiny bits: the fucking strategy guide.  If you were as unfortunate as me to actually get suckered into buying it, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.  They made it only about a quarter as thick as a typical Final Fantasy guide, which should have been a warning bell for me but I had my dad buy it anyway.  Little did I know that half of the guide wasn’t even in the book; you had to go online and enter a code to access all the information that wasn’t obvious from a casual playthrough, which was why I bought the damn thing in the first place.  This was in the age of dial-up and AOL, so just imagine my frustration having to get up from the game, turn on the computer, wait for the fucking connection, and go to this site just to make sure I got everything.  I got so sick of all this bullshit that I decided that it wasn’t worth playing and gleefully broke the discs into pieces.  I also ripped the strategy guide apart and threw it away.  (I wanted to burn it but my parents wouldn’t let me.)  Very immature I know, but I was only twelve and I felt a hell of a lot better afterwards. 
     
    Now, I’m not by any means saying that Final Fantasy VIII was much better.  It was a bad game and deserved to be ripped to shreds by Spoony.  But Final Fantasy IX is just as bad, and in my preadolescent mind it was much worse.  I cringe to think what this game would have been like if it had been made with voice-acting for the PS2.  I agree that FFX is probably the worst in the series, but dammit this one comes awfully close.  I applaud Spoony for refusing to go past the first two hours; I wish I had been so wise.                 
     
    Sorry for going into a full-on rant.  For those of you who actually enjoyed playing this game, I’m not trying to insult you for liking it so please don’t take it personally.  I don’t know how it’s possible, but I am glad that some people were able to find enjoyment in this game.  Final Fantasy IX was just the first to royally piss me off and made me think twice before playing any subsequent game in the series.  All I can do is keep my fingers crossed that they eventually will remake FFVII and/or FFVI because I’m not wasting my money on any more of these god-awful games.  (It’s bad enough that I had to spend another $20 just to be able to play FFVII and FFVI again off of the Playstation Network since the discs I had got lost a long time ago.)  I will say, however, that out of all the horseshit Square has put out in the past 12 years, Final Fantasy Versus XIII actually looks promising.  I’m not holding my breath, though. 
     
    Whew, I really just needed to get all of that off my chest.  I feel better now.

    • Anonymous

      I read a few more of the comments about FFIX and think maybe if I had forced myself to play past the first half of the game I might have actually enjoyed it.  I admit that I may have been a bit too hasty putting it on the same level as FFVIII and FFX.  I think the bad experience with the card game, the time limit, and the fucking strategy guide just put the nail in the coffin of this game for me when I was younger.  If it wasn’t for those things I probably would have kept playing. 
       
      But I have to agree with Spoony, it is really hard to get past the character design.  I’ve never been a fan of anime cartoons; I couldn’t stand that Pokemon or Dragonball Z crap, or anything remotely similar.  I readily admit that I really liked Chrono Trigger as a little kid, and next to Xenogears that was the most anime RPG Square has put out.  (I do see the irony in growing up on and loving Japanese RPGs but hating anime.)  However, I never considered the characters in the old school Final Fantasy games on the NES and SNES to be “super-deformed anime characters.”  They’re just pixilated sprites.  Hell, the 3D versions of the characters included in the playing manual of the PSX version of FFVI looked much better than the characters they have in IX.  And in the FMVs added in the rerelease, they looked much more realistic.  For the most part, they’re actually people (except Mog and the Yeti, but I didn’t mind them, and plus they’re optional characters anyway).  Plus the party wasn’t mostly comprised of preteen kids.  In fact, out of the large cast of characters in that game there were only two who were younger than 18.  They didn’t add retarded crap like tails or horns or anything like that to the characters.  No offense to “furry” fans, but I never thought those types of characters had a place in the Final Fantasy series.  Maybe they did have some of that in the earliest games.  Living in the states, I only played FFI, FFIV (I knew it as FFII), and FFVI (I knew as FFIII).  I was so young when I played them that aside from FF6 I don’t really remember much of those games.  I’ve never played the original FFII, FFIII, or FFIV, so I can’t comment on those. 
       
      So yes, I realize it is very superficial to denounce the game because of the character design and a few bad experiences.  But to me it just didn’t feel like a genuine Final Fantasy.  At least not in the same vein as my two favorites, FF6 and FF7.  I wanted to like it, but I guess I always got hung up on that. 
       
      But for the record, no matter how he behaves in the game, Zidane does not in any way look like a “strong, masculine” character.  In my opinion his character design looks just as retarded as Tidus’s.  And Blank should really put on some pants.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ONVAGUEEMFOUT356M4GIGXFEAQ adammur

      tell me about pal. Ive got literally over a hundred youtube messages of hate mail because I tried to halt the sephiroth kefka fan wars by pointing out how lame Yevon was….the stuff they will say in a backlash against me is friggen amusing. One guy sent me 4 messages of death threats, and two guys calling me “a horrible horrible person” and of course the many “how dare you dislike my favorite FF game.” or “How can you say that! Tidas isnt a whiny bitch you hateful bastard!” (Im picturing Douchie McNitpicks voice whenever I read them) I havent had this much fun insulting my most hated game since I vomited in a twitard’s book (new moon)

    • http://www.facebook.com/VitalemRecords Micah J Femino

      You’re totally wrong about the character design. Cloud looks like a woman – Every character is FF8 looks like a woman. In Final Fantasy Tactics the character looks like a 10 year old girl.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3IAN3E35WIDSUG4HEUD3J34IYU chris

    mommy zeppelins and kefka-sano, just damn great.

  • http://twitter.com/RantingPhoenix Tiffany

    I personally like Final Fantasy IX. It may be because it was the first Final Fantasy game that I had played at the time, and I was a bit younger when I played it. I liked the story, and though you guys here do bring up good arguments, I still consider it my favorite. Though, I’m not going to sit here and tell you guys that you are wrong in thinking it as a bad game. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I just thought that I’d share mine with everyone. I personally believe that the cutscenes in Final Fantasy IX were good for it’s time. I’m not sure how many others would agree with that, but, to me, they were good graphics. But graphics alone can’t make a game great. 

    • Anonymous

      This is what really gets me about the Final Fantasy series. Every single Final Fantasy fan in the world has his or her own favorite. Every one will defend it to the death. I’ve heard just about every single one, even the incredibly bad X-2 and XIII. Even if some of them get more votes than others, I’ve heard every single game called favorite by at least one person.

      Personally, I love just about every one. VII is my absolute favorite, with X as a close second. I’ve heard dozens of people call out X as an abomination (Spoony is one of ‘em, too) and yet I’ve poured literally over a hundred hours into multiple playthroughs of the game. It’s really something, that a series can go on for over a dozen different and unique games, and every one has its own series of diehard fans.

      • http://twitter.com/Sentient_Lunacy Tiffany

        I guess you’re right

  • Anonymous

    Not Every Final Fantasy after VII was bad, sure I know you mentioned XII already but I really view FF XII as a shining light in a world full of shit

  • eric.r.bohult

    I can’t say I really hate any Final Fantasy game, but my least favorite has probably got to be X-2. It’s just a bunch of side games! Even one of my good friends, whose favorite FF game is X I might add, admits X-2 is the worst game of the series. Well, despite the fact that I have tried to completely remove XI and XIV from my head.

    I would also like to add that XIII-2 looks like it could be tragically bad.

  • Derek King

    typy rikku (or how ever its splelt) in to rule34.peheal.net

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001252571411 Ben Beckley

    Once you get by the art design ff9 is actually a very serious, depressing game. The main characters deal with genocide for god’s sake. half of every major nation in this game gets destroyed. Zidane even finds out that he was supposed to be the successor to the games major villain. He was supposed to be in charge of causing wars and countless deaths, just to keep his race alive. This game is so emotional and deep, when you really think about it. All of the main characters deal with some form of death in one way or another. The game was also supposed to be a throwback to every previous final fantasy game. Their are reference to every game that came before ff9. unfortunately a lot of them are lost in translation. I urge you spoony, please attempt to play this game. I like to think they made the art design they way they did just because they wanted to have such a huge contrast in appearance and storyline. It almost is saying that no matter how happy and cartoony things can be, there will still be horrible things that can happen.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/5WRJANXJLFPWHD6SYG7BZAL62A JohnB

    Eh, tempted to do a video reply, but, nah. I understand exactly where Spoony is coming from and laugh at just about every joke he has, and yet FFX is still one of my favorites. I chalk this up to three things: It was the first FF game I ever owned, it was the first FF game I ever finished, and the gameplay is solid. The only thing Spoony complains about for the actual gameplay is Blitzball (The minigame and Wakka’s weapon choice, though stoning an enemy makes you miss out on bonus experience and items). I like how the battles go: this version of the Active Time battle removes the need to wait for turns and the frantic list-scrolling when your turn comes up. I admit the plot is mild, but before this, most of the video game plots I experienced had to do with kidnapped princesses or Team Rocket. It’s not like VIII or XIII where both the story AND the gameplay are excruciating. I enjoyed the exploration and the fighting more than the story.

    As for me, I get Tidus a little better, I think. He’s the tagalong and exposition funnel because, just like us, he has no freakin’ idea what’s going on. I play tagalongs in my D&D games, so I fit the profile better. Rest assured, I hate his voice and I hate his laugh (Most FFX fans do, Id imagine), but I figure he was given low Hit Points for a reason…

    Anyway, I have no problem with laughing at things I like; I have a good sense of humor. I did notice one thing interesting: Spoony criticizes Rikku, then swoons over Lulu. I guess they had a lady that suited your needs too, eh?

    • Anonymous

      Even spoony himself admitted they got _that_ right with Tidus. It’s just a pity that for most he has no redeeming qualities, thus it’s impossible to become invested in his story.

      But hey, you can like something even if it’s flawed. If you enjoy it, good on you. Unfortunately, for Spoony, he just can’t get invested in the game because of the characterization issues.

  • DraculaAlucard1

    XD I love how you keep making fun of The Room, & Tommy wyso….wiso……wizzo? Whatever. Lol When you went to kill your clone you shoulda coppied that line from your swat LP “Bitch I got a gun! Bitch, I got a bomb!” I laughed my ass off when you did that in Swat, & I’ve been quoting it every chance I get……..Pease dont make me pay copyright fees.

  • DraculaAlucard1

    Btw Did you know Tidus is one of the best characters in FF: D (Final Fantasy: Dissidia)

  • DraculaAlucard1

    FUN FACT: In Dissidia Tidus is pronounced Tidus (Tee-dus)

  • DraculaAlucard1

    O_O Its someone with daddy issues. Quick, Call Charlie Sheen!

  • DraculaAlucard1

    Did that thing you kicked really have a fuck-ton of potions, or did you just edit bit cuz it would be funny. (which it was)

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/5WRJANXJLFPWHD6SYG7BZAL62A JohnB

      It’s called the “Edit” button…

      You can kick the suitcase until your stock of potions equals 20.

  • Jasmine Blenner

    I find that most people who dislike FFX have a lot of issues with Yuna and Tidus’s characters and not the gameplay. Afterall, Spoony just described the brilliant battle system, the beautiful music, and the lovely visuals for its time. The truth is, people who hate Tidus have no sense of putting themselves into this game or forget the character shift he has. The boy was practically abused by his father throughout the entirety of his childhood and is constantly living in Jecht’s shadow. He is expected to be as great a blitzball player as his father was and is attempting to live his life as a sports star. All of a sudden, the place is attacked and he is transported alone (even from the only protector he had: Auron) to this mysterious land where he has no idea of the culture, the customs, or anything else that is going on. He is clueless and that is okay. Actually picture yourself being transported to another culture on this
    very world (let alone another one), all by yourself with no background
    knowledge and see how well you adapt. Most people would probably be worse off then Tidus is in this game, but its kinda intimidating to realize that and play as a character that actually expresses emotions and feelings for someone who has their own need to identify as manly and strong(hence why the only character ever appreciated is auron and maybe lulu’s breasts…). The fact is, by the middle of the game, his character changes and he becomes more confident as he starts to understand the world he has been thrown into.

    As for Yuna, she too has been cast in her father’s shadow, but in her case it is by her own design. She has trained for years to become a summoner in order to take the journey. She is in a very demanding role for the society she lives in. She has to smile all the time and is “Spira’s hope”. Over the course of the game, she too changes (and i find her voice acting suddenly improves). By the end when she stops talking from a prompt and her position as summoner, to speaking her own feelings and being herself. The fact is, she is not able to express herself at all and this why a scene like the laughter scene is important. The truth is, Tidus knew he was looking stupid with the laughter (the other characters look at him and Yuna like they are crazy), but it was done so that Yuna would lighten up a little. If anyone recalls that scene, Yuna even says he shouldn’t laugh anymore, but she instead joins in and they have FUN by being silly and childish and stupid.

    As for the other characters, each of them in their own way experiences small character developments. Wakka has issues of culture and racism to deal with; Lulu needs to learn to stop being so hard on others; Rikku has to figure out a way to help Yuna; Kimarhi stands up for himself and begins to talk more. The character that everyone loves, the Great Sir Auron, actually was a whiny punk himself in his past. In truth, it seems to me that FFX actually touches on emotions that many people are afraid of dealing with and that is what causes the hate for the characters in this game. Afterall, who hasn’t had moments of childish stupidity and fun in their life and who hasn’t cried about their own pains or societal expectations. For anyone who hasn’t, you are either too young or too stuck in your own socially expected bubble to relate and there is no way i can show you anything otherwise.

    As for the other parts of the game. Who cares if the characters look crazy? The artwork in general was superior for its day. If giant billboards want to be 3D holograms then so be it. If people want to dress weirdly by our standards so be it (Afterall our clothing would look odd to the people of Spira). It is a fantasy game, just accept the giant stadium. Spoony here has a video (that i know is meant to be comedy) where a character shoots himself in the head and comes back to life as a black lantern.. Lighten up on the game when it comes to the fantasy elements. Just relax Spoony, its really not that bad when you get over your own insecurities.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001002391585 Parsa Hadidi

      So true! Tetsuya Nomura’s just weird with his character designs! Spoony you are awesome but you should really check Edward from FF4 out before you call stupidest weapon ever! Remember Princess Sarah’s Lute from FF1?

      • http://twitter.com/TarielCorbeau Tariel Corbeau

        Edward from FF4 is a BARD, I don’t call bullshit on him using a harp as a weapon. Because bards in D&D have an ability to buff players with bardsong abilities, and even can cast powerful spells from being able to sing.
        I don’t think it is not that much of a stretch to be able to use music to hurt monsters. Really. Plus its MAGIC. I hate to use that but weapons like the gunblade are basically ‘real’ weapons, the bardsong powers that Edward has are based on his ability to sing/magic. So stupid maybe, but still better then breaking your wrist on a totally retarded sword/gun because you cant put that much weight on your wrist because you WILL dislocate/break it.
        Also the lute has a great significance in the game of FF1. Spoony did do a review but if you actually paid attention it was an April fool’s day review. The lute is something you need to beat the game, so not stupid. Plus if you look at Greek Mythology it is music that soothes creberus to allow a mortal pass into the underworld in order to ask Hades to bring his lover back to life. He plays for Hades and actually moves him to let a single tear fall from his cheek through the power of MUSIC.
        NEVER, I repeat NEVER underestimate the power music has on people and things. Or else you are going to get some serious backlash again having a character that uses magic and harms enemies through it is not much of a stretch. Because music touches all.

    • http://twitter.com/TarielCorbeau Tariel Corbeau

      Then how do you explain him being utterly stupid after Riku telling him not to say he is from a HOLY place and then telling EVERYONE that he is from said place?
      Plus by Tidus getting emotional abuse from his father? Would you like to know what a FAN of this game told me why he did that?
      Jhect abused Tidus because he wanted Tidus to go into the future to fight and KILL him by abusing him. Yeah, like that makes sense. The time travel bullshit is just that bullshit. It is not only stupid, but basically makes EVERYTHING in your story so utterly complicated that only someone with a 145 IQ can unscramble it. They did this because like any retarded plot device has a crap ton of plot holes big enough to drive the Enterprise through. I ask you a few things.
      1. how did Sin get to the past?
      2. How does Sin have the ability to go into the past?
      3. Why for the love of God if Jhect wanted Tidus to fight him, did he abuse the whiny asshole? Why not train him to be the ultimate fighter and tell him to basically go into the future somehow and kill him? He is your son, you can tell him you are going to become, or did become a terrible life eradicating creature of pure death.
      4. Is Spoony not allowed to voice his opinions about this game?
      5. If I started a an entire video series dedicated to loathing say…. Legends of Dragoon would you still yell at me for voicing ACURATE plot holes and concepts that basically make the story so convuluted yet so utterly simple that it is only again able to be deciphered by someone with a very very high IQ.
      You could lay off all the time travel crap by Tidus be a wandering spirit and having him gain actual corporeal form by ‘magic’ and then just sort of forget all the time he spent as a spirit. Flashbacks to an empty destroyed Zanarkend would work. Just progressively make it more and more ruined. Witters don’t need time travel crap to make a story, using it just makes things complicated while also being an utter copout.

      • Anonymous

        Tariel – In a situation where one is told to lie about the reality they grew up in, they often slip. Tidus was told not to say he was from Zanarkand, he slipped by stating the team name he was from (something he knew his whole life to be true). Second, I don’t believe Jecht abused him simply knowing what was going to happen, that kinda seems impossible given the plot. Jecht did want himself to be killed and that is how Auron got to see Tidus and look after him for the 10 years. And to answer your questions…

        1. Sin never got to the past, in fact *spoilers for those who havn’t played* there is NO time travel. The Zanarkand that Tidus is from is a mythic version of the city living inside the dream of Sin. So Sin spawned himself in the dream world to collect Tidus and spit him in the real world. This is perfectly feasible given the scenario presented where aeons themselves are the dreams of fayth. */spoilers*
        2. This question is mute, see question 1.
        3. Jecht knew how much Tidus hated him from childhood and chose to exploit that by asking Auron to go into the alternate Zanarkand and take care of Tidus. By doing this, Auron would be able to help him until the fateful day where Tidus would be taken to Spira. Jecht saw it as a way to break the cycle of Sin and still had enough of his own spirit alive to do all of this. In fact, his journey to Spira is probably what made him realize he was a jerk to his kid.
        4. Of course Spoony is allowed to voice his opinion, and i am allowed to refute his claims. Further, I chose to refute his claims by showing that many of his opinions were unfounded and were quite within the characters of the people in Spira. I believe that most people who hate Tidus do so because he is not “strong”. He is actually a representation of emotions and weakness that spark an insecurity in many people (including Spoony) of their own desire not to deal with emotions and be “strong”. After all, its easy to attack these characters for not being manly enough when you are insecure enough to need to prove you are manly. After all, nobody would ever be as whiny or insecure as Tidus after years of abuse from an alcohol loving father or from being transported into a world where all you have known your whole life is missing.
        5. The plot is really not that complicated (i’m sorry if you couldn’t figure it out, but it really doesn’t require that much thought if you play the whole game through). And actually Tidus is kinda a wandering spirit with defined memories. There are few (if any) plot holes I have been shown. The only legit thing I have been told by Spoony is the linearity of the game, which i admit is it most grievous flaw, but one i overlook because i find characterization, gameplay, and plot to be fantastic in comparison (with few tedious side quests).

        • Anonymous

          One of the biggest plot holes that I have yet to hear anyone explain convincingly is why Auron isn’t sent when he witnesses Yuna performing the sending ritual in front of him on multiple occassions.  (Although I’m really glad he isn’t sent because he was the only character in the game I liked, but I still can’t help but wonder why they overlooked that.)  I can understand why Tidus isn’t sent, since he isn’t actually an unsent but rather a dream of the Fayth. 

          Which brings me to another plot hole (not from this game, but the next one) that annoys me even further the more I think about it: How is it possible for Tidus to return in FFX-2 when it is established at the end of FFX that he isn’t technically real but is a hallucination made manifest by the dreaming Fayth, and that after they stop dreaming he no longer exists?  I never played FFX-2, but I would be amused to hear whatever convoluted explanation they came up with to try to cover that.

          • phoenixrider100

            I love it how Jhect decides that he will convince his son to kill him. Yes that makes sense. Have your son go and kill a flying Godzilla and God because Tidus just screams badass. but the thing that gets me is the fact Jhect wants Tidas to do all this but it never occurs to him to DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF HIMSELF YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! No he is quite happy to put his son in mortal danger. Maybe he really was hoping Tidus would die.

          • taylorkissick

            You’ve obviously never played the game, or not far enough.

            Jecht became a Final Aeon and killed Sin (Godzilla), but the cycle of Sin’s rebirth continued, as Yu Yevon possessed his Aeon form, killed High Summoner Braska (Yuna’s Father) and began to reconstruct Sin over a period of 10 years.
            Jecht was therefore stuck as sin with little to no control over what he was doing, forced to carry out the same instructions that Yu Yevon had written into the very essence of Sin 1000 years ago, if a city relied heavily on Machina or grew too large it would be attacked by Sin.
            Jecht knew he would become sin beforehand, and asked a favour of Auron, to bring Tidus to Spira and to finish the job of destroying Sin once and for all, without a Final Aeon.

            Auron himself was much like Tidus in his younger years, once Braska had summoned Jecht as the Final Aeon he confronted Yunalesca and was killed, and his Unsent Form entered the fayths dream to carry out his favour.

            Oh, and Yu Yevon himself (the thing actually controlling and reconstructing Sin) has no thought process left either, and was a last attempt to fight back against an invasion force from Bevelle, which at the time had the largest and most powerful Machina, and Transformed the entire city of Zanarkand into Fayth, which summoned Sin with Pre-defined instructions, which never stopped being carried out.
            By the games time period Yu Yevon had become nothing more than a reset switch to restore Sin.

            And i agree that Tidus dresses weirdly, but he is from an entirely different culture and era, and different people in Spira dress differently too (Al Bhed and regular people are easily recognised)

            And with the part about Rikku being 15, i thought it was 16, and even then, by FFX-2 She is about 19 or older.

      • Sagar Aadarsh

        you are an idiot
        its not the past, you would know if youve played the game
        its the fayths dream

        and jecht didn’t emotionally scar tidus for a revenge kill, he did it because he couldn’t express his love, when he (jecht) became sin he brought tidus from the dream to defeat him and bring about the calm.

        Jeez…

        • Adell

          He also brought him specifically because he knew that Tidus would be one of the few to calm him as sin, giving them a better chance at ending the cycle (like how Tidus ends up using the fayth to stop him).

          Personally, I feel like this games story would have been way better if it spent less time on the love story and more time on the actual plot.

    • Michael Bassler

      To the point of disliking Tidus, it’s completly rational and understandable. While what you said is true, Tidus has had a tough life, he does grow as a character, and most people wouldbe worse off in his situation. However, the tough life comes to life after most people get stuck to hating him. It ishard to get rid of such a strong emotion. I mean, imagine that you were in high school and there was thisguy who was an utter ASS and tortured you for months. Then you findout that his parents completely abandonedhim and his gaurdians didn’t give a damn at all to the point that they wouldn’t respond at al the school. While it is sad you can’t get over WHY you hate him, his past doesn’t vindicate it. (By the way this is out of my life) While this is extreme it is the same principle with Tidus, the player spends alot of the time with how annoying Tidus, so that when it is revealed that it is hiding insecurity, the player ( generaly) doesn’t care. To the point of character growth, yes it does happen. However, with Tidus this just changes him from an annoying idealistic and idiotic manchild to a CONFIDENT annoying idealistic and idotic manchild. Improved, yes. Vindicating, nooooooo. To the point of Tidus being in a completely alien culture, I throw my hands up, you got me there. However when Tidus IS told about the culture he still screws up (see 16:45 to 16:58). Also, alien culture doesn’t vindicate a person who isn’t 5, eating there food too fast and chocking. That is stupidity.
      As for Yuna, didn’t mind her problems because she grows much more significantly. Infact in a future episde spoony says that she would be a much better main character.
      For Auron’s, poularity, steriotypical Badass. It’s overplayed, but still enjoyed.
      As for Spoony’s opinion about the outfits, it’s subjective he cared you don’t no big whoop.
      The laughing scene, developental, yes. Painfully annoying, also yes.
      For the giant stadium, yes it is fantasythere should be suspensionof disbelief, but a reason should generally be offered, if not it is a plot hole that breaks immersion. And before you say it is magic and they just don’t bother, its still a plot hole, even if there is an easy explanation, if the PLAYER has to give it, it is a lot hole. the only time that this is okyis if you are making your own story, but as Tidus says This is HIS story.
      That said please respond I would like to continue this discussion.

  • phoenixrider100

    The idea behind Rikku is the age of consent in Japanese is 13 (yes a little messed up), so it is going to be a bit of awkward when the games get moved to Western countries

  • Anonymous

    The BEST part, the ONLY reason I play this. Rikku is voiced by Tara Strong…. Yeah I’m kinda Doomed to play anything or watch anything with Tara Strong in it, regardless if it’s shit or not. That isn’t essentially a bad thing considering how Tara does a great job in all her roles. (For all you people who don’t know, Tara Strong play’s Twilight Sparkle from MLP and Timmy Turner from Fairly Odd Parents) I kinda wished that the script was a LOT better in this game… HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

  • jrlatour2

    Okay, dude, I’m sorry, but that whole thing about how Tidus’ father was justified about hating his son is a little harsh don’t you think? He’s probably self-conscious about himself because of his dad. I mean how you would you have grown up with a father like that. I’m not saying that he’s a good character or that it’s a good game. Heck, I never even played it, but it just seems to be a really low blow you made there. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Travis/100001864476153 Kevin Travis

    If you can get over the art style, I really would suggest trying IX again because, it’s the closest thing to another IV,V, or VI you’ll ever get.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charles-Moody/100002568397327 Charles Moody

     They are making a HD remake of this game why

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/George-Rosenbaum/100001387887487 George Rosenbaum

      Oh come on, you know you like Titus’s bird calling laugh.

      Titus: “AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”

      Chocobo: “SQUAK!!!!”

      Titus: “HELP!!!” *sounds of squishy, rhythmic thumping.*

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Martin/1596700226 Stephen Martin

    The breathing could be explained if not for later parts of the game as being the same kind of oxygenated liquid used in the movie the Abyss and yes, turns out breathable liquid such as that does in fact exist.

  • http://twitter.com/Flutterbybybye Jemma Stafford

    This has probably already been said and I’ve just missed it in the comments list (as there’s so many!) but just a reference back to the ‘what the hell is an Auroch?’ question… It’s actually a bull-horned beast of Old Norse Mythology :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/stephen.gallup Stephen Gallup

      Actually i think it’s the animal that today’s domesticated cows are decended from (There ancestors)

  • SalomonAugust

    I would say 15 is close enough for hard porn fantasies by real men. 
    seriously spoony and most of you guys should go die…..most REAL MEN AND WARRIORS (yes i am a proffesional military)  thinks 15 year old could be a perfect in a both sexual and otherwise woman perfectual.seriously guys…..think…….

    • http://twitter.com/OnTheGanges Kat

      Oh…kay.

      • SalomonAugust

        What i say? i cant remember and someone flagged it.
        I bet it was something awesome

  • ramses ijff

    Wait, why would someone make a blitzball that turns people to stone? I mean, if you’re gonna use magic to cheat, wouldn’t you want to do it in a way people don’t notice?

    • nrrork

      I think it works out great: the ball stones its targets, and you have to be stoned to enjoy Blitzball.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002817204759 Liam White

    I know Tidus is a VERY SHITTY character, but the whole “abuse my kid, so he can kill me later” thing is one of the weakest god-damn plot-points I have ever heard of in my entire life.

    • http://twitter.com/Doctor_Docson Doctor Doc Docson

      Ever heard of “A Boy Named Sue”?

      • nrrork

        That wouldn’t work on Tidus. If he was named Sue, everyone would just presume he was a girl and think nothing of it. You know, those who didn’t ALREADY think so.

        • http://twitter.com/Doktor_Dokson Doktor Dok Dokson

          Exactly! And thus he would totally hate his dad… unless he likes that kind of treatment from others…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001213112770 Aaron Byrd

    drownball!!!

  • jagarcia0705

    Dollar Guy from Robocop: I’ll buy that for a…you what? Fuck it, this game isn’t even worth dollar, yet alone to wipe my ass with!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/JonDellMyers Jon Myers

    I didn’t like FF8 either. It was… ridiculously irritating. Never even could finished the damned thing.

    FF9, however, is my absolute favorite.

  • HeavyMetalLobster

    I agree with Spoony. Triple Triad, drawing magic, the combat system, junctioning, GFs, the nonsensical plot, and the annoying characters aren’t my cup of tea. Tidus is annoying as fuck. That’s why I prefer Auron ’cause he’s like a ronin. BTW since you’ve played, who is Kuja and what are his goals and defining characteristics?

    • Raphaël Boivin

      The problem is that Spoony only played through the first 2 hours of the game; I’m about at that time too and there’s still no sign of Kuja whatsoever, not even a hint at him. So unless he did research on him (or played Dissidia), I don’t think he could tell us.

  • http://twitter.com/jobeanus Jo West

    All he needs is a big fucking sword and huge jug of booze :D :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1560428345 Matt The-Vest Opdycke

    I just noticed that “Break Me”, the opening, is slowed down. It’s very slight but was there a quota for how much time you needed?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1560428345 Matt The-Vest Opdycke

    Can you PLEASE review Kingdom Hearts? I love the game with all my heart but there is SHITLOADS of material for you.

    • Ineedballs

      He has been doing streams of the game… and yes he doesn’t like it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1560428345 Matt The-Vest Opdycke

        What do you mean? WHERE CAN I FIND THESE!?!?!?

        • Ineedballs

          IT’S CALLED TWITCH. Twitch.tv/spoonyone

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=844404915 Lin Misfits

    I would take your review seriously if you knew what the fuck you were talking about.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000511270547 Nic Payne

       He does know what he’s talking about. He’s a professional critic reviewer.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/M3UCZGBZ5WH44JIDYSCX3UAVVU Joe

      idiot

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tristan-Manuel/1095295442 Tristan Manuel

    Auron is one of my favorite, if not top favorite, characters ever made for a video game. He’s just so awesome.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000336151805 Pia Clapham

    OH MY GOSH!

    THE MONKEY ISLAND THEME IN THE BACKGROUND!
    I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW SPOONY!

  • http://www.facebook.com/maurice.peyton1 Maurice Peyton

    The only I have to disagree on with Spoony is, there is no way I would rate Final Fantasy 8 higher than this. The only thing that stopped me from finshing this game is the fact that the characters actually speak and they’re annoying. The cutscenes eat up an hour and a half of screentime. Getting the rare items was not worth hours of Blitzball (Isn’t that what we have the Fifa games EA keeps coming out with every year for ?). And if I had to listen to anymore of Tidus’s whining I’d be in the psych ward by now. That’s right I found a protagonist more annoying than Squall. At least Squall rarely talked.

  • Victor Gominho

    I have to go with Spoony when he says that every FF since 7 has been terrible. Seriously, it’s not even a joke. But i’m willing to believe that this is in fact due to a change of style in the series, and fans of the older games don’t like the newer ones.

    • http://www.facebook.com/shane.asher.98 Shane Asher

      Not true. FF 9 is really good. In fact it’s my favorite game in the series.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/LMMJOFJVTZ5EFZZZXS435ZDWFI T

    Has anyone read the manga Berserk?

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    Crammed full of awesomeness!

  • jagarcia0705

    I (& maybe others as well) believe that Final Fantasy VII was the peak of the series. After that it was going down hill.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1673310152 Julian Andreassen

    Glad that i am not the only one who hates anime from the bottom of my soul
     

    • Benuben

      Well, he didn’t say he hates anime, just that those were things he hates about it.

      How exactly can you hate anime? I mean, it’s not even genre or style. I’ve seen some really cartoonish and some really realisticly looking animes, with diffrent plots and characters, how can you really hate all of them? Or do you mean you hate anime cliches?

  • http://twitter.com/Memstick Kristoffer Robin

    Just love the FF reviews. Can’t wait for a look at the FF13 games.. They are really horrible, especially the voice acting of the American / European versions

  • operasjonhusk

    Seriously though, there is NO FF character I despise more than Kefka, not even Squall or Tidus.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000511270547 Nic Payne

       Why do you despise Kefka? He’s the best villain in the entire series.

      • http://twitter.com/StochasticOoze Jason

        Yeah, nothing says “great villain” like “insane clown who wants to destroy everything for no reason except he’s insane”.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001441429315 Ken Broom

          I like to think of him as the pseudo-medieval Joker

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000511270547 Nic Payne

           Of course. He’s a psychedelic jester that simply likes destruction after being experimented on. Much better than momma’s boy, or Ultimecia’s dumb founded, garbage plot of a menace. Not to mention that Yu Yevon is a tick, Vayne has that bland “I wanna rule the world” bullshit unoriginal scheme. X-2’s Shuyin was the same as seymour and wanted to end life because…there’s suffering? And don’t get me started with 13. So yes, Kefka is the godfather of Final Fantasy villains not only achieving his goal but having the bat shit insane personality like no other brooding emo antagonist has shown this decade so far. Makes the game seem more fun, instead of Final Fantasy VII and VIII where I felt like I was watching an interview of Marilyn Manson, Robert Smith of “The Cure” and Vamp-Freak Edward twinkle dick having a feud of who’s more of a pansy. Pssh, Sephiroth….HA. What a tool.

          • http://twitter.com/StochasticOoze Jason

            I didn’t say any of those villains were good. I just don’t think Kefka is any better.

            Basically I think Final Fantasy as a series has been overrated from the very start.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000511270547 Nic Payne

            How is he not any better? You never even answered that.

  • infectededen

    Not the first time i’ve seen this but still funny as hell. FFX is the worst RPG i’ve ever played. It’s sooooo cringe worthy and horrible. Unplayable. 

    • SalomonAugust

      Oooh then you should try the ones efter X, it went even more downhill after that one. X is actually enjoyable in comparison.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/CWFTH4EZFYQPSKA5CEEZYM3I3U boykingkilla

    Final Fantasy 9 isn’t all that bad, Spoony. and technically Zidane’s not a whiny androginous pre-teen furry. He’s simply got a monkey tail is all. It’s a great game! (Unlike 10 and 10-2… ugh!) but the gameplay is by far the best in the series.

  • http://twitter.com/KPTTownie Kevin Travis

    Surprisingly, Zidane was the only non-emo protagonist in recent Final Fantasy history. The art is really freakin’ dumb, though. Got past that and loved it.

  • godofplague

    I don’t know I liked FFX and FFX2 they were light hearted and fun

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/SZTLXHIBGDFTEBORQTZIAT2HUY thomas

    Hmm… I always assumed the people of Sphera could breathe underwater. Why not?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/OZ37K2AS2AXU7652VIJHF6HNYE Snarky

    There is one thing that reviewers always go after about FFX that irritates the living shit out me: the laughing scene. It seems that whenever people talk about it, they forget that immediately after that scene, the two of them laugh realistically. They also completely ignore that there is laughing throughout the game that is not embarrassing. They also gloss over the game acknowledging the ridiculous-ness of it with Wakka “though you guys might have gone crazy” comment.

    The entire point of the scene is that the laughing is fake and forced. The reason for this is, as is clearly stated before the scene, that the two of them are practicing laughing when they are sad, so the characters, nor the actors, are actually laughing. This not a horrible case of narm, disgust and facepalm was the exact reaction that the director and the actors were going for. Those who have criticized it ALWAYS fail to mention the context of the scene. It ticks me off because it is not a fair criticism if one completely glosses over the set up for that scene.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Bennett/100000822321191 Chris Bennett

      You put way more thought into this than even the creators did. If this game had better voice acting,i might believe that was what they were going for. The fact of the matter is the va sucks dick. Besides, there is a shit ton more wrong with the game. Like the dumbass plot, horrible leveling system, the dumb as dirt characters, the lack of monsters and quite possibly the worst badguy in rpg history.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/OZ37K2AS2AXU7652VIJHF6HNYE Snarky

        I’ not going to argue with your criticism of anything but the scene in question, as all of that is very subjective. But is absolutely clear that the laughing was meant to sound silly and awkward. In the game, there are many scenes with laughing where that laughing supposed to sound normal, and it does (to me). Why would it be that ONCE in the game, with a set-up scene before, that the voice actors COMPLETELY failed to laugh properly? It would not be unless it was deliberate. The rest of the acting us up to you to critique, I personally liked it, except maybe Tidus, but this scene is an example of the common IN-UNIVERSE BAD ACTING. It is not the actors acting badly (unless you think it does not sound like a natural forced laugh, which is kind of an oxymoron), it is the characters. There is no way to argue that the laugh was not intended to be fake. It absolutely was. If you’ve played the game, then you would know that immediately after that scene, the two of them at how absurd they sounded and Wakka tells them that he “thought they may have gone crazy.” 

        And no, I’m not putting more though into this than the creators did. What they thought is “fake laughing scene.” I am explaining that is fake. No one else seems to understand that, which REALLY irks me, as it is not fair criticism, unless they say that it was a stupid idea putting a purposely awkward scene in the game.

        All your other points are subjective, so I will not try to say that my opinion is better than yours, but my points about the laughing scene are not subjective and are absolutely true. Criticism of that scene is one my pet peeves.

        • Elbin Cenisev

          While I absolutely agree with the fact that it is not valid criticism, I do think they could have made the forced-laughing scene a bit less horrible. I know that, like you said, it was intended to be horrible, but if you compare this scene to many other forced-laughing scenes in movies, this one is much more annoying.
          In fact, just compare it to the original Japanese presentation of this game. If you listen to that version, you will still be aware that its forced-laughing, but it doesn’t sound horrible.

          In short: If you were forced to laugh, would you laugh like Tidus in the English version?

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003654019608 Evgenia Belofastowa

            The japanese version sounded a lot worse than the english, it sounded like a parrot trying to laugh.

        • http://twitter.com/nnecron Necro

          I think you are taking this too seriously. Every time someone “criticize” the scene it is almost always a joke. Off course everyone who has read or listened to some decent stories would understand it’s intent.

          But I got to ask, what people act like that? Who actually come up with an idea, which is to practice laughing? Just throw a party for him or something and cheer him up. I would somewhat understand this if Tidas has left his homeland long ago and goes through a lot of tough situation, but he just wines about it so early on and seeing this unusual way of cheering a person up the scene just doesn’t work. And what does he wines about? the fact that nobody understands him. Big fucking deal.

      • http://www.facebook.com/thatvietkiddo Danny Dang

        Real easy to look at today’s standard for VA and compare to FFX which came out, what 11 years ago? So keep your criticism relative to the time the game came out and spend more than 5 minutes playing it before you make any exaggerated comments. 

        • http://twitter.com/nnecron Necro

          Morals and common sense haven’t and won’t change even after 20 years. Even if it was long time ago it doesn’t change the fact that it is irrelevant in today’s standard.

          And no don’t say you were referring to the gameplay portion of his criticism. There are such classics that have aged well enough to be fun. And if the game is as good as people claim it to be, it has to be at least passable. So don’t assume he hasn’t played the game enough OK?

        • http://www.facebook.com/VitalemRecords Micah J Femino

          The voice acting was the worst aspect of the game to me when the game came out. The time in which the game came out is no excuse for the voice acting to be so bad. It was bad – it IS bad – and it will always be bad.

      • http://twitter.com/TheBeardlessMan Tristan Dowie

        No, even in the Japanese version the laughing sounds forced. It IS intentional.

        (Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAgVjH9V9Ps Go to 7:42)

    • http://midnighttea7.deviantart.com/ midnight tea

      …. I think you missed the point here. The reason this laughing scene is exploited is because IT IS bad. “Practicing fake laughter” in itself isn’t any worse idea than any other, but – as usual – it’s not about idea sucking…. but the execution of it.

    • http://twitter.com/joethulhu Joe Hammons

      When I played the game through the first time my reaction to the laughing scene was even more severe than Spoony’s, and I saw the context.

    • perfectlyreasonabletoo

      lolfaget

  • http://www.facebook.com/joseph.marx Joseph Marx

    The aurochs, (Bos primigenius), the ancestor of domestic cattle, was a type of large wild cattle which inhabited Europe, Asia and North Africa, but which is now extinct; it survived in Europe until the last recorded aurochs, a female, died in the Jaktorów Forest, Poland in 1627.
    Got that from Wikipedia.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lenne-Shuyin/100002432893015 Lenne Shuyin

      whaaa????

  • Marc Berrones

    How can anyone praise Spoony for this review? Its horrible, I understand that he tries to incorporate comedy into it to make it more enjoyable but this just ridiculous. For a while I thought your opinions were the comedic element and that you honestly did not think that way. 

    I guess I was wrong because you were actually serious about those “points”, you were very unfair in this review. For example, the things you criticized about this game such as the weapons or the art style is something that is in all Final Fantasy games, so that shouldn’t be a factor to take into account when reviewing this game. You should see Wakka using a ball as a weapon or his hair as a normal thing because its a Final Fantasy game and that is just the style in the series. You also failed to understand the plot because you said the game incorporated time travel. Tidus and Jecht never time traveled at any point in the story. There is plenty of other things I can pick out of your “review” that I saw wrong or ignorant but I honestly don’t feel like wasting anymore of my time on this hideous review.You are the definition of “judging a book by its cover”, I cannot understand why anyone would consider you a legitimate reviewer. Anyone who can actually agree with your ideals must share the same stone minded mentality that keeps you from immersing yourself in a game and its characters. 

    I hope you understand and improve yourself in the future because I believe everyone is capable of it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vaughan-MacDonald/100000473507885 Vaughan MacDonald

      No body cares that you liked FFX.

    • wizzbang

      So…because you like something, that means his review is horrible because he does NOT like it?

  • http://www.facebook.com/thatvietkiddo Danny Dang

    This is more opinionated hateful bashing than review. Had to stop the video the moment he started complaining about the physics of Blitzball. Final Fantasy. 

    Fantasy. 

    FANTASY. 
    Guy is a comedian, not a professional reviewer. 

  • one.snarky

    There is one thing that I have never been able to figure out. This has nothing to do with the review, but the recordings of the game within it. When I watch this and compare it to what I see on my tv screen when I play FFX, the graphics that are seen in the review, for reasons I cannot understand, are better.

    Does anyone know why this is?

  • http://www.facebook.com/wagnerpaivafernandes Wagner Paiva Fernandes

    love this review

  • one.snarky

    There is something I see here that I also see elsewhere, but cannot figure out why it is. When looking at the parts of this review that are videos from in-game. It looks like the graphics are better than what I see when I play it on PS 2. Does anyone know why this is? I have seen it elsewhere as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Todd-Parker/100002132626904 Todd Parker

    Really, the art design is perfectly legitimate reason not to like IX. The design choices in the art style were often baffling (Nomura was well into his near-immediate decline as a lead designer), and while the game did have some very good characters (particularly Freya, who in my opinion is one of the strongest-written female characters in any Final Fantasy, as well as being a cross between a Dragoon and a Red Mage, the two most bad-ass and well-dressed old-school classes), it had some pretty blah ones (Amarant is a total non-entity, Garnet is…*zzz*) and some God-awful annoying ones (Eiko can eat shit and die, the creepy loli brat). In addition, it was the last Final Fantasy soundtrack done entirely by Nobuo Uematsu, and while it does contain some timeless tracks (You’re Not Alone, A Place to Call Home) that stand alongside anything he’s ever done, most of it feels a bit phoned-in. Like the game as a whole

    But the REAL reason not to like Final Fantasy IX is that not only does it not have a great story, it doesn’t even have a complete story. The plot loses all its momentum during the second disc and never regains it. The later parts of the story have no relation whatsoever to the (significantly better) earlier parts. Half or more of the characters (including the best one, Freya) have incomplete arcs that go totally unresolved, the game has a Gainax climax, and the final boss is pulled completely out of thin air *after* the player has already been forced through no less than THREE primary antagonists in a row, none of them interesting in the least (Queen Brahne, Kuja, Garland). Final Fantasy IX just has no payoff, only a few moments of half-hearted buildup before it collapses under its own ambition. Like Squaresoft as a whole. :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Travis/100001864476153 Kevin Travis

    Yeah, the designs in Final Fantasy IX are weird. It makes everyone look like a kid, even though Vivi is the only one that’s actually a preteen.

  • http://twitter.com/ArtistaAF alvaro oyarte

    the only “bullshit” i disagree about blitzball is that the floating water sphere is physically natural, in no gravity envyroments the fluids tend to become spheres, everything else terss bullshit XD …woah Riku is 15?! damn jappanese & their fansrvice characters! & speaking of that Woah im totally liking that silly designed boob witch ..but tidus dad is y far best FF character ever!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mekon-Spazzin-Clifton/514071786 Mekon Spazzin Clifton

    …this is to much for me. it’s like not even a review, it’s all personnel attacks on a series game that he already admits he hates. i can’t.

  • IHeart28

    I have never played final fantasy games so I have no insight on the games. Regardless I love spoony’s take on the games, although people can and will get offended by them, I personally have so much fun with these reviews

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.oleary.315 Mark O’Leary

    Review the Kingdom Hearts series.

  • http://www.facebook.com/obscure.johnston Obscure Johnston

    XD And because I was so mean to your FF8 review I thought id pop over here and say I’m totally digging this one. This one might have been the last in the series I actually enjoyed playing, but God dam I’m with you on most of your points. Tidus especially. At least without voice acting you can imagine some of the ridiculously silly rpg dialogue in the series to be delivered with a mote of dignity and drama… dear god and they made this bugger the narrator too.
    Have to admit, I spent most of the game imagining that Auron, Lulu, and big blue and fuzzy were the only ones actually in the story.
    Yuna too I guess, she was not too terrible and the plot kind of needed her.
    Strange how well that worked. You could Ignore that Tidus existed at all and the plot went on just fine without him. Why was it his story again?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Contreras/1219435856 Ian Contreras

    I can’t believe I watched this two years ago.

  • http://www.facebook.com/domenico.tozzi Domenico Hairyfoot Tozzi

    I don’t get it,,,I loved this game :P
    Sure Tidus had an AWFUL English dub, but that’s really the only thing that peeved me off. If you ever played it in Japanese with subs (there was an expansion disc you could buy), a lot of the problems Spoony had with this game kinda vanish.

    • SUPERSOUP

      Does the story being terrible nonsense and Tidus being a completely pointless and annoying distraction from Yuna (the real main character) somehow get fixed? Does the Japanese anime archetype BS go away? Does the character design get less shit-stupid? Does Tidus become something other than a pathetic, androgynous, whiny manchild? Does the Japanese sex-pervert shit go away?

      You sound like a fucking weeaboo. Masakazu Morita is an experienced and fairly-talented Seiyuu but he isn’t going to save a script so fundamentally flawed.

  • Sir Quaffler

    Taking a fluid power course has really helped me to explain just how much blitzball sucks. There is literally no possible way to throw a dodgeball underwater due to the spherical shape causing seperation of flow and the buyoancy counteracting any forward momentum.

    Man I’m a nerd.

  • http://www.facebook.com/harley.stacey Harley D Stacey

    hey spoony. i know you wount do this but would you relook at final fantasy 9? its a vary nostagic return of some things from the first ff game. and if you think the storys about preteens saveing the world. thats not the case. becouse none of the team members are preteens.

    • Tab

      So they’re grown-ass adults that look like pre-teens? That’s about the only way he’d consider, since he finds regular teens saving the world to be about as stupid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000136574632 Cody Garrett

    onlyone question how is there a final fantacy x-2 scene in a final fantacy X intro?!?! the time loop from Vlll is stil going on!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kairimun1988 Tasha Gardner

    You know….. TECHNICALLY Jack Sparrow is impersonating Jecht. .—. FFX came out in ’01. POTC came out in ’03. ^^;

    • Tab

      But the movie Pirates of the Caribbean was inspired by the Disney attraction, which has a pirate character that Jack Sparrow from the movie was based on (until, of course, they added him in their renovations in 2006). This ride opened in 1967.

      • Darkhero252

        Actually POTC was also inspired in part by the Monkey Island game series. Just thought i might share that useless fact.

        • Tab

          The film, perhaps. The attraction at Disney, which largely inspired the overall theme and tone of the film, was first opened in 1967.

          • Darkhero252

            Sorry didn’t clarify I was meaning the moves.

          • Akaimizu

            Actually, it wasn’t Monkey Island inspired as much as it was the source material. On stranger Tides. Which, incidentally, also influenced Monkey Island. Disney basically didn’t use anything that was specific to Monkey Island. Though Monkey a Island did use something that was specific to the POTC ride. The classic scene with the dog with the keys in his mouth outside the jail cell.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sioraf.killeens Sioraf As Killeens

    I actually like Alien Ant Farm’s cover of Smooth Criminal but apart from that this is one of Spoony’s best videos ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ben.richards.566 Ben Richards

    My first spoony video… is he often this homophobic? Cripes.

    • wizzbang

      He’s not homophobic, but he definitely mocks unintentional-yet-obvious homoeroticism. Try his review of “Phantasmagoria 2″ — the only character in the whole game he liked was the gay character and he repeatedly complained that you couldn’t choose to have a romance with that character. He also got incredibly pissed off when that character met an unfortunate end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Farshnuke Gordon Jones

    Regarding Blitz ball there are three things that make the impossible you just mentioned possible. 1. Teleportation for how much water gets there so quick 2. Force-fields for how the water maintains floating in the air. 3. That’s not water that’s a special mix of chemicals like water that allow air to be taken in through the skin, explaining whey they don’t drown.

    Also sharks breach water like tidus did all the time come seal season.

    And catching a ball from a speeding plane should still be relatively easy for an experienced sports men since if an object dropped while the thrower is in motion will maintain relative momentum with the direction of the water.

    • mobtank

      No. Just no. Humans can NOT leap out of the water to that hight. The reason sharks can is because they are basically living torpedoes when they charge their pray and the amount of force they exert is far, far beyond anything a human is capable of doing since they have around 2000 kg of solid muscle.

      Second, the blitzball players swim around in normal water holding their breath for impossibly long times while fighting monsters so your argument about “special oxygen water” is invalid.

      Third, no the ball thrown from the deck of a plane going that fast would not come back, it would not even hit the target.
      it has almost no mass, the air pressure would stop it instantly.

      Learn your facts before posting.

  • jagarcia0705

    Jecte: What’s a deadbeat father?
    Wakka: What’s a blitzball player?
    Riku: What’s jailbait?
    Tidus: What’s an annoying character?
    Yuna: What’s a summoner?

  • Zipper Dragon

    It would be so aswsome if it turned out Tidus had died in Zanarken.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Ryan2.Devlin Ryan Devlin

    I find your pints invalid and stupid. Nothing that Spoony has said could constitute real problems to the game. I’m hopping Part 2 will have the real problems to the game, but all of the points made here just seem like filler. Well….not ALL points, Tidus is a whiny bitch, but I liked everybody else!

    • wizzbang

      Frankly I wish he’d share more of his pints with us. Especially if he has some Phish Food in the freezer.

  • http://twitter.com/RalphMacchioFan Yuta Takemoto

    This review is an old post but I just gotta say, wow. People are entitled to their opinions but this is one of the most painful experiences I ever had watching. You try too hard to be funny and most of your ‘complaints’ are just opinion. This is crap. I want the time I spent watching this back.

    • wizzbang

      …All complaints are opinions. There’s no such thing as objectivity.

      • DrydAykma

        “I bought this urn yesterday, about fifteen minutes before closing time. The guy who was working took it into the back room to put it in it’s packaging, came out a few minutes later, handed me the box and I headed home. Once I arrived home, I opened up the packaging only to discover that rather than an urn, the package was filled with a series of broken pieces of clay. I would like a refund of this item, or perhaps a replacement.”

        I think, in that situation, that’s a complaint completely devoid of subjectivity.

        • wizzbang

          That description of events is subjective. All perceptions of events are subjective. But I’m an epistemological skeptic.

          • DrydAykma

            “This guy punched me.” “There are twelve steps here.” “The dog barked”.

  • sekushinonyanko

    I’m assuming that what’s really holding Lulu’s boobs up is her corset doing so from below. Corset’s tend to do a better job than bras anyway since they don’t put all the weight of your breasts on your shoulders.

  • Alex Stockwell

    Final Fantasy VII: Great game, but not nearly the life changing experience it’s made out to be.
    Final Fantasy VIII: I actually like it more than most people.
    Final Fantasy IX: Very underrated game! My favorite of the PS1 trilogy.
    Final Fantasy X: Major disappointment.
    Final Fantasy XI: I don’t do MMOs.
    Final Fantasy XII: I love this game! I don’t care what anyone says!
    Final Fantasy XIII: Haven’t played.

    • Gram91

      XIII: Be prepared for a very linear game

    • SUPERSOUP

      Nah mang every FF since seven with the possible exception of nine has been dildos. Twelve was particularly fucking awful.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tony.molock Tony Molock

    this guy this guy IS UNFUCKING BELIVEABLE

  • bloodshed113094

    Harlequinsano!!!

  • George Hicks

    Just having a tail counts as “furry”? And Zidane was probably one of the more chipper main protagonists I’ve seen in a game up until a certain story point. THEN he gets the “wangst” and then gets over it. As for androgynous, the only real ones you can’t tell whose sex is Quina, Vivi and perhaps Freya(because rat person). Okay, I guess Freya counts as a furry because “rat person” but still. You should really try it again, I think your hatred of 8 ruined 9 for you there Spoony.

  • Dr. Cakey

    You know, for someone who doesn’t like androgynous characters, I think we all recall Spoony does a pretty good Yuna cosplay.

  • wizzbang

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurochs. So this game takes place in the…what? Distant past? Far future? Future-past?

    Also, I can’t help but feel bad forJohn Di Maggio (aka: Bender Bending Rodriguez, aka: Jake the Dog) — being involved with this game can’t be something of which he’s especially proud.

  • Puliego

    I’m sorry to inform you that you suffers from a severe case of humour-cancer. I’m afraid it’s fatal.

    • Anonymous

      Nonsense!

  • Abaris

    if its just a game then wtf do you care about this guys opinion

    • Anonymous

      Apparently no one seems to undersrand the term “it’s just a movie/game/show/book/etc”.

      • B N

        Apparently you don’t understand the term “it’s just a review”.

        This is his job, and watching final fantasy fans get upset and try to defend these games is half the reason he started doing it.

  • GunsmithKitten

    One of my best friends is a die-hard Final Fantasy loyalist (yep, even 8 and 13…), but despite that fact, even he watched this review and said “I still like FF 10, but…he’s not wrong about the story or the characters….”

  • Kyle Cheung

    That’s like asking why Call of Duty gets perfect scores left, right, and center!

    • Anonymous

      I never cared about Call of Duty.

      • Kyle Cheung

        You don’t have to, it’s just a simile.

  • Roikka

    Oh really? Since you mentioned it, let’s take the tewiev of IGN for example. The text is here: http://www.ign.com/articles/2001/12/19/final-fantasy-x

    IGN gave FFX a 9.5, that in IGN:s terms translates that they seriously cannot give it more than a good grade at best, but fear backslash from fans.I also noticed that a lot of game journalism-sites have addmitted that brand names affect their grades, and that IGN mostly concentrated on saying almost nothing at a length, added voice-acting, and graphics style. Artdesing, characterdesing, the actual content of the dialogue and the story are either ignored or touched only to mention it’s there. Biggest part of the rewiev concentrates on combat system, which even Spoony addmitted to be good, or is the three paragraphs of saying nothing much in the beginning. And in fact even IGN complained abou the cloisters of trials.

    As for Tilt, back then, the TV-show was a thing of the game-enthusiastic subculture that was tolerated at best, outright deviled at worst, despite shootings at Jokela and Kauhajoki being years in the future. It couldn’t afford to lose watchers by actually being honest in it’s rewievs. Or did you actually forget this country became interested in gaming at large only when Angry Birds started making money.

    Furthermore, the “Just a game” is one of the biggest obstacles in taking games seriously as a form of art and narrative. Plus we are talking about Final Fantasy, a franchise which’s main series has pretty much revolved around the narrative ever since FFIV.

    Okay, If you ignore dialogue and story completely, it’s a good game. But otherwise, I think Spoony is making a much more convincing point than mainstream gamecritics, because he is actually talking about the game.

    • Anonymous

      Are you trying to say that most mainstream and official
      critics are bad and obsolete just because they don’t give full details about
      games besides graphics and gameplay? Does a convincing
      opinion have to so mean-spirited and offensive that it hurts anyone who liked
      the game? I didn’t even care or knew how infuriatingly
      insane most video game/movie/cartoon/etc fans/fanboys were.

      Ok, say what you want about Tilt, but it was
      good back when Jaana Pelkonen was the hostess until she left the show and
      focused on politics. That’s when I started to pay more attention to other reviews
      on the internet.

      So you’re saying is that Kauhajoki and Jokela
      shootings were related to Tilt TV reviews, because most gamers in Finland only
      watched it for violent games? I know how terrible those shootings were, but not
      everyone is a gun-toting psychopath.

      • illidan4ever

        People are blind by new technology. Take for example Ebert’s review of SWEp:1

        • Anonymous

          Don’t forget that Ebert was the same guy who gave thumbs-up to Speed 2 Cruise Control.

    • Anonymous

      Could you properly explain what the taking a game/movie/etc seriously means? The last time I checked, it didn’t mean bitching every minute about how sucky certain game/movie/etc is like an deranged Insane Asylum inmate.

      • Roikka

        Didn’t we already talk through all this stuff? I said I’d check this stuff, not reply, which I didn’t deem necessary given how we’ve been through all this already.

        • Anonymous

          Yes, I know. but remember, i wrote these comments before i called you.

          • Roikka

            Ah, sory, my mistake.

    • Anonymous

      I have two question.
      1. What do you mean Tilt TV was “tolerated at best and outright deviled at worst”? Don’t just say they were “honest in their reviews”. Also explain “deviled”.
      2. What does Tilt TV have to do with the shootings? Tell me reasons besides “gamers watched the show for violent games” reason.

    • Anonymous

      Look, Roikka, Everybody knows how terrible the shootings were, but I’m asking you one last time.

      1. What do you mean gaming culture back then was “tolerated at best and outright deviled at worst”? Don’t just say they were “honest in their reviews”. Also explain “deviled”.
      2. What did Tilt TV have to do with the shootings? Tell me reasons besides “gamers watched the show for violent games” reason.

  • kingd353

    wow… i did not know that you could farm potions like that… also am i the only final fantasy fan who likes tidus?

    • striker388

      actully quite alot of fans think this is the best game ever. that is a big reason why he rages alot in this review.

  • George Hicks

    Alright the only foul I have to cry on this is that Zidane WASN’T a whiny pre-teen emo git like Cloud and Squall. He was the polar opposite. But to completely discredit the game based on the aesthetics which were based on the original look of the older Final Fantasy games doesn’t seem fair.

    • illidan4ever

      I think he was more talking about the way he looked, and having played 7 many times, I don’t really find Cloud all that emo. First of all, he’s psychologically messed up for reasons, and second, he really doesn’t say much and the times he “gets emo” are few and between, mainly only one real time towards the end and it’s for a character arc. Sephiroth is far more emo, but again, he has his reasons. Squal’s only reason for being the way he is is a bullshit one at that–that because sorceress? I don’t even know if that can be a reason. I think people just thought it was cool–his design. Leather and scar. And gunblade.

      • Dragon Nexus

        People base cloud’s emo streak purely on post Advent Children and then assume he was always that way.

        You’re right in that he really, really wasn’t.

        • Dudley

          Yeah, at first Cloud basically tries to act like a tough guy who doesn’t give a shit, then he turns out to be basically a nice guy once all the problems in his head have been solved. The game does give him reasons to be emo, but he isn’t.

          And Zidane is just a happy go lucky guy named after a great soccer player.

          • Omega Weapon

            Actually, Zidane’s name is a mistranslation of sorts: it was supposed to be Gitane, if I remember correctly, which is French for “gypsy”. All things considered, that name suits his character better.

  • Anonymous

    First of all I don’t care about GTA series at all and I had no FREAKING interest in playing those games. Second, I mostly played games (that were not GTA or COD games) based on 10-point scale reviews. In my opinion a good/great game was worth a 7-10 score, a mediocre game was 5-6 and a bad game (or games that should be avoided) was 1-4.
    Third, If the scoring system is that broken, then explain these games:
    Jak and Daxter (excluding”The Lost Frontier”), Ratchet and Clank, Mario, Zelda and other Nintendo franchises, Rayman (first three games),Psychonauts, Crash Bandicoot (first three games) ,Spyro the Dragon (First three games and exlcluding Skylanders), Sam and Max, Viewtiful Joe, Dragon Quest, etc.

    • outsiderMiracles

      The point isn’t the game, the point is that because it was given a 9 and not a 10 fans went nuts and tried to get the reviewer fired without reading their reasons for not giving it a ten out of ten. It’s not about the game I could care less about GTA, it’s about what happened because of the review and why those scores are often tilted.

      • Anonymous

        And Ironically some people have called the reviewers at Tilt TV idiots for giving FFX a 10/10

        • outsiderMiracles

          Your not getting the point, the point is that a lot of these “Mainstream” reviewers give these games much more positive reviews than they deserve mostly because they’re pressured into doing so.

          • Anonymous

            So your point is that “mainstream” reviews are forced to give higher scores than they should, because it makes the game better? And all because of the crazy fans (don’t get me started on the insanity that is the Sonic Fanbase). That’s like if a school teacher gave a student a 9 or 10 (B or A) for the math test, but the student demands him to change it to a 10++ (A++). Is that the reason why we shouldn’t trust mainstream reviews, and instead listen to foul-mouthed jerks like Noah Antwiler or psychopath critics like Doug Walker and Plinkett?

            I know that everyone has their own opinion, even normal fans(and… ugh… fanboys), but I’ll ask again, does it have to be so DAMN MEAN-SPIRITED that it hurts anyone who liked the game or anything else? comedy or not.

          • outsiderMiracles

            This is nothing like a school teacher, a school teachers job is not on the line if a student does not appreciate the grade they have been given. Also I’m not saying you have to listen to these people either, while this is a review and does cover the flaws of the game, it is also a comedic video and made for entertainment purposes, there are many reviewers out there who actually give decent reviews covering the good and the bad of a game, without letting a fanbase or corporation sway their opinion. In the end whether you want the game or not is up to you. Though I suggest you check multiple non-“mainstream” sources, read or watch through the reviews carefully, and then decide if the game appeals to you or not. P.S. Sorry this reply took so long, I’ve been busy with school. :::;P

          • Anonymous

            Okay, you’re right about school grade argument that I wrote. It was a dumb thing to write, but
            I have seen some students getting angry over their grades. I commented on
            purpose just to get Spoony’s attention.

            I started to pay attention to non-mainstream reviews after IGN’s reviews of God Hand and
            Sonic Unleashed convinced me that IGN is full of awful reviewers. I have always
            accepted anything that received a good score ranging from 7 to 10, and avoided
            everything else that received scores from 1 to 4. Yes, I’m using a ten point
            scale score, because I’m used to it. I’ll say it again: I don’t care for GTA or
            COD. I did play FFX back then when it came out, and I’ll admit I sucked at it.

            I never imagined that most people went angry and crazy at certain reviews. The reason
            why I mentioned those games on my previous comment, because Tilt TV and other
            gaming websites and magazines gave those games 8s and 9s.And I said: “Yes, a
            great score”. Please, tell me more answers besides the whole overrated and
            underrated reason.

          • outsiderMiracles

            I was never saying the only reason games get good reviews is because they’re from large companies, I was saying that sometimes mainstream reviewers will “Overlook” certain problematic aspects of games in a franchise or from a large publisher because it has a large fanbase or it is from a large publisher. And like I said, Noah Antwiler, Angry Joe, Doug Walker, etc. yes these people are reviewers, but they’re also ENTERTAINERS, they make shows not solely to discuss a game or movie, or other form of media, but also to create an experience that is enjoyable to watch.

          • outsiderMiracles

            It’s cool, just keep in mind that reviewers like spoony are appreciated as entertainers, do they review media, yes, do they blow things out of proportion for entertainment value, yes. I don’t see a problem with it unless they’re being racist, sexist, or bigoted against anothers sexual orientation. I don’t care about those other games either, in fact I HATE Call of Duty, but they make good benchmarks.