O British, Where Art Thou?

The Spoony One | Dec 6 2013 | more notation(s) | 

The Avatar loses a lot more than an eighth.

  • Grace Soriano

    Dafuq I just watch? Awesome!

  • Grace Soriano

    Should’a dropped a brick on his head.

    • wizzbang

      Or poisoned his meal! Lord British is a notorious glutton and never checks to see if his food is tainted.

      • Grace Soriano

        Spoony, why didn’t you think of that?!?!?

        • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

          Fresh bread costs *two* copper.

          • Grace Soriano


    • PeaTearGryfin

      Drag in a canon, shoot him in the face, and then leave his body in a chest for a servant to find.

  • wizzbang

    Poison the bread! POISON THE BREAD!

    • RobMcCune

      Exactly, 40mm grenades are nothing compared to a few grams of rat poison in a loaf of stale bread.


      Use a firewall scroll while he’s distracted!

  • Schwarzseher

    Too bad the black sword wasn’t on standby.

    I haven’t laughed that hard in a while…awesome!

  • smek2

    “That’s not very sporting, to the animals” :D
    My only complaint is, that it’s too short. I was hoping for 30 minutes of this :D

  • Casey Williamson

    I’m the Avatar of the Ascension
    Going through purple moon gates
    I bid farewell to my house in Texas
    For soon my knowledge will be great
    (For soon your knowledge will be great)

    • Alan Rizkallah

      I laughed harder at that than I probably should have. ROFL!! XD

  • Julie Paulson

    This is way more amusing than it should be. Kudos on both of your acting.

  • Chuckaloso

    Brief but enjoyable!

  • Jigglysaint

    A brief sketch making fun of everything Ultima. I hope there’s more, but I would understand if you could only get one.

  • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

    Wait, that bottle sounded familia-oh yeah!

    There can be only ONE, you… *BONK!* ….Impervious FUCK!

    Well, so much for all of the Demoman’s weapons. Perhaps some other Mann Co. products will at least singe one of Richard’s whiskers. Keep trying, Avatar!

  • ForkWounds

    “Where did the Avatar go?”

    ^ This was the only bit I didn’t like. Granted the whole thing is very light-hearted, but British clearly LEFT HIM AT THE PUB. Surely he should have said, “I wonder if the Avatar is still at the tavern. Mayhap he would like to join me.”

    • Alan Rizkallah

      I thought it rang more true to rigid design like one might have seen in early Ultima and other cRPG’s that make NPCs sound extraordinarily thick. Like being programmed to talk about some kind of dilemma and still loops that same dialogue after you already went and resolved it.

  • Salen Stormwing

    I guess the Avatar found that sign with the Phazor hidden under it. Maybe he should try using the Triangle on Lord British instead.

  • banned_guy

    I am speachless, it was awsome

  • Atmos_Duality

    Hmmm…maybe if you would try strafing him with lasers from aboard your star fighter, Avatar?

  • PeaTearGryfin

    That was my favorite part of your visit with LB so far. The only complaint I have is that it was too short.

  • theshamster

    Spoony needs to make a few 30 minute long plays like this.

    Seriously, I can see a show based on this. It would be fantastic to see how the Avatar tries and tries to be recognized as the savior of the cosmos (or heck…even try killing LB) and fails all the time.

    To quote the phrase “Dude, where’s my respect?!?”

    • doresh

      And then they cut to the Volturi discussing the plot of the Ultima series.

    • L1nk1

      That could work fine indeed. I propose a clip show should work as well too my friend. With all kind of themes included of course. Yes. Please.

  • orangeluigi

    Damn LOL I really loved this, it was so simple but fun man is lord British a dick. ROFL XD

  • Guest

    I was honestly half expecting him to die from a single brick falling from an overpass.

  • Vincent Beaudry

    OMG I really hope there’s more of these! ;D


    I can’t believe he got a multimillionaire legend of game design to do this. What a bro.

    Bravo, Spoony.

    • trololololololol

      I already thought richard was one of the coolest dudes ever before his meeting with spoony. Mind has been blow’d

  • Patrick Coyle

    British is the most awesome dick.

    “Thanks for saving my kingdom from certain doom. Here, have some loose change I found in my pocket. I’ll see you at the next crisis, right?”

  • http://www.schadenfreudestudios.com/ Amesang


  • Renaissance_nerd

    wow it seems like your time with Lord British was truly epic.

  • joeengland

    Hah! I guess this is as close as we can get to establishing Noah as the canonical Avatar. Good for him!

  • AtlasRedux

    But what is an avatar?

    • doresh

      I am not entirely sure…

  • Cerebro01

    Fun video!

  • NeroAngelo

    I’ve got to say, LB totally got way more generous later on. I mean, all you had to do was find a few jewels to get 100 gp. what’s that, like 10,000 cp? I mean, just ONE cp for beating the entire game and saving his ass from the abyss? yea, that was worth they HOURS of fighting the shadow banes

    I gotta wonder what happened to all of the tech in Britania. Like we had guns, flying cars, and space ships by the first game, so where did it all go? Did lord British just like cast a stupid-ray over the land or what?

    • The Janitor

      Well, we did have the cataclysmic time compression storms of Ultima 2. Perhaps all the technology was lost and Exodus was the only computer that survived?

      And with the furtherment of magic, I guess technology just wasn’t needed. I mean, what are nukes compared to the Armageddon spell?

    • doresh

      I presume the Kilrathi established a trade blockade due to taxes that let to the collapse of the space shuttle industry, which in turn started a Warhammer-40K- or Battletech-esque trend of people “forgetting” how the awesome technology of the past works.

      • Raoul Bashir

        It was hinted that the Isle of Claw, an island in Serpent Isle that can only be accessed through the debug cheat, was the original home of the would be Kilrathi. On top of that, in the Silver Seed, you find a catman wandering a maze that was an experiment from a wizard. Could have also been a precursor to the Kilrathi.

        • doresh

          Neat :D

          Or maybe the catman is a prisoner of war which the Kilrathi tried to free with their sanctions.

    • farimere

      I think it was LB just getting rid of everything that could potentially give him a nosebleed. Wouldn’t be sporting to hit LB with a flying car or land a space ship on top of him.

      • igotbanned999

        Although I quickly got your meaning, when I first read “nosebleed” my mind jumped to the anime meaning, making me think that Lord British had a weird sexual fetish for sci-fi technology or something.

      • NeroAngelo

        that honestly makes the most sense of anything i’ve ever heard XD

        too bad he didn’t know about poisoned bread or the black sword

  • Gerardo Vazquez

    I LOVE how Spoony brought back “The Flame Of Anor” from WAY back in his Akalabeth review.

    • Daniel Tilson

      Actually, that was from Ultima 1.

      • doresh

        Nope. Ultima 1 was the one with the blaster rifle and the Tie-Fighters.

        • Roikka

          Nope, Ultima I was also the one with flame of Anor, although there was footage from LotR in Akalabeth rewiev too.

        • Daniel Tilson

          Ultima 1 had the Blaster rifle, Phazor, space shuttles, tie fighters, and Spoony the grey battling a Balrog with a machine gun, phazor, and the grenade launcher affectionately known as “The Flame of Arnor.”

          • doresh

            Awesome XD

  • Mike Hopkins

    Of course, the best way to kill Lord British is to cast Fire Field on him after a server reset.

  • Ragnarök

    Anyone know the name of the song at the beginning of the video? I’ve heard before it in one of my favourite Let’s Player’s videos.

  • JediAli

    Oh man, the music with which this video opens… So beautiful.

  • KoeL


  • L1nk1

    Awesome, awesome, awesooooooome! I want to see more stories from this world.

  • Quasimodem1969

    Spoony could have also led him under a doorway beneath a golden plaque.

  • Jailer_of_Justice

    Well if you are an Ultima fan this is the ultimate fan situation you can hope for.

  • Daniel Tilson

    I hope that’s not the promised battle.

    Because while funny… It wasn’t much of a battle.

    • LotusPrince

      It plays out the way the game would have it play out, though. Lord British isn’t your enemy, and he’s (mostly) an unkillable NPC who keeps saying general positive things that NPC’s say.

      • Daniel Tilson

        In Underworld 2 you can fight him and he fights back along with everyone else in the castle. You can’t kill any of them, and if you should “die” you wake up in jail, and LB lets you out.

        In other games, there are ways to kill him.

        I just want to see them actually fight for a few minutes at least.

        • LotusPrince

          Oh man, that’s pretty nuts. :-D

  • Garmrspor

    Getting unexpected kicks from seeing Garriott dress up and play with a man in his ’30s. By Iolo was this glorious.

    The bartender was the guy from the artwork video, right? He appears to be much less stale than anticipated! I guess he was being a professional in the aformentioned video.

    • doresh

      I’m pretty sure you see this kind of stuff all the time in LARP events – though maybe not as funny XD

    • L1nk1

      Yeah. If that bartender is just some random fellow he actually played his role really, really well.

  • NeroAngelo

    Okay, I’ve got to admit. Rich & his crew have got a great sense of humor. not everyone is this willing to mock the characters they based off themselves like that

    I forgot that U5 was one of the few where u couldn’t directly kill LB. Only way I think he dies in that one is if ur slow

  • Pearse Hillock

    What even is this meant to be.

    • MFlorian

      The Ultima version of a Road Runner cartoon.

      • Pearse Hillock

        Oh right, thanks for that. I thought it was meant to be a parody of video games where you can’t hurt or kill enemy npc’s.

  • ThomasMink

    This was great! ..and a lot better than I was expecting it to be after seeing the opening.
    Way too short though. I mean, the Avatar didn’t even lead him under an archway with a loose brick!… then again, being a hero and never being recognized or rewarded is most likely a lot funnier, even with museums and statues.

  • ryan phillips

    that happy-go-lucky bastard…

  • Darth_Geek

    Am I the only one who can’t see ANY of the videos on Spoony’s site anymore?! As far as I can tell, JavaScript is turned on, and I don’t have any adblockers (that I know of). I’m just using Internet Explorer 11.

    • PeaTearGryfin

      If you’re having trouble watching, then you can watch them on his Youtube channel.


      • Darth_Geek

        Great, that works. Thanks!

    • Daniel Tilson

      The asshole in me says to switch to a real web browser. (Firefox is good, and isn’t directly linked to your operating system)

      The helpful nerdy guy in me suggests checking for a flash player update.

    • Darth_Geek

      I updated my flashplayer and now it works fine.

  • http://blip.tv/cassavius-presents Cassavius

    Cast Wall of Fire!!!

  • Behellmorph

    Oh this is great.
    Spoony, it is wonderful to see how well you and Rich are getting along.

  • Joseph Raymond Ortiz

    Oh Shiiiit!! LMAOOOOO

    • Joseph Raymond Ortiz

      LOL downvote.

  • trololololololol

    You should of asked him about the hacker killing him in ultima online, im sure he has something interesting to say about it

    • Joost

      It wasn’t a hacker, he just forgot to put on his invul flag right before his end of beta speech and he died because someone casted a firefield where he stood. I recall reading something saying he wasn’t amused by it, don’t know if that’s true though; judging from these video’s he seems like a humble enough guy to chuckle such a petty event away. Although I did get banned for pk’ing LLTS members when LB visited them because they were the longest running or largest guild or something like that at that point.

      • theshamster

        At first he wasn’t amused, and the one responsible was banned for a couple of days for “assassinating the king”, then his boyish attitude took over and he found it comical and challenged the ‘assassin’ to a duel; I don’t know if it happened or not, but it would have been cool to watch.

        Also, the guy who killed him was using a thief character; he stole the firewall scroll from someone in the crowd and used it just to see what happened. When Lord British died, Blackthorn summoned demons in retaliation and there was chaos everywhere.

        • Joost

          Hmm so it wasn’t quite the end of beta speech… well I recalled it close enough :P Fuck do I miss that game… it was such a gem until EA poked it’s nose in.

          • theshamster


            Also, the guy wasn’t banned for killing LB, he was banned for other reasons, but it was a temporary ban.

            Still, with Shroud of the Avatar coming out, and having multiplayer access, I’m sure we’ll see more of Richard Garriott’s LB character.

            Who knows, maybe he’ll ‘accidently’ forget to activate his immortality flag on occasion and see if someone kills him.

  • Book of Keys

    OMG.. This is epic. Anyone who has played the Ultima games knows that killing Lord British is next to impossible. Not impossible but just really really really hard.

    • CLuhrsen

      Or you can just leave a loaf of poisoned bread laying around and he’ll scarf it right down.

    • Daniel Tilson

      There are specific ways to do it in many of the games.

      I don’t remember exactly when it started. But I know there’s a few ways in Ultima 7, and there’s the poisoned bread in 9.

      In Underworld 2, you could fight him, but you couldn’t actually kill any of the castle people. (Though you COULD indirectly cause their deaths by casting Armageddon in another world.)

      • Andrew DeCaire

        I seem to remember in Ultima IV for Nes. There being a magic wand or something like that that could 1-hit KO everything including Lord British. I don’t remember it being in the PC versions. Can someone clarify?

  • JG

    This is amazing!!

  • Nick Godbout

    I didn’t really know much about Richard Garriott until Spoony did the Ultima series. And now, I think that Richard Garriott might be the coolest human being to ever walk the earth.

  • Norrikan

    I admit, I was grinning like an idiot through the entire thing. Hillarious.

  • Barachiel


    No.. no seriously.

    I’m dead now. It was that funny.

    How am I typing this? Well my ghost is angry, vengeful, and retains all its spellcasting powers. Let’s hear it for modern applications of Mage Hand.

    • doresh

      Beware the sacrilege!

  • ScutigeraColeoptrata

    This is glorious. This so needs to be a sitcom.

    • Segatron

      Or a series of animated shorts.

      • Failedlegend

        Quick all animating capable Noahnauts and Spoonyteers TO THE THE ANIMATION MACHINE!!!

        *points* its over there…I’ll give you moral support…unless you want stick figures on flash cards recorded by a cell phone camera :P

        Seriously though Spoony I’m loving this stuff :D

        • Segatron

          Heh, they could be the next Bugs and Daffy!

  • Basil Ashgora

    Well played…. well played indeed…….

  • Raoul Bashir

    Please tell me that a plaque or Arcadion will be involved in future episodes…

  • Jonathan

    Just poison his bread. That’ll do the trick.

  • Andrew DeCaire

    Just drop a brick on his head.

  • Andrew DeCaire

    Wait a minute, tavern in Paws… so that barkeep could be Dr. Cat?

  • Andrew DeCaire

    Ooooh, now do a sequel with the annoying kids in Skyrim :D

    • Andrew DeCaire

      Yeah, I know Spoony openly despises attacking children in videogames. But if the kids are invincible and can’t be killed. Does that count?

  • Raoul Bashir

    Being a Serpent Isle nerd, I hope one day they do something for Fawn.

    Girl Spoony as Lady Yelinda.

  • Binku Muja

    Here I was, expecting the randomly falling brick to kill him and there was no pay off? Spoony, I am disappoint.

    • Jessica Murlock

      Me too! I was just thinking, “Why doesn’t he drop a brick on his head? That usually works!”

  • Rudarudd

    Richard Garriot is a hell of a sport! Very cool of him.

    • Raoul Bashir

      Contemplating this, I would love to see this “cheerful” side of British tell the Avatar to commit gargoyle genocide.

      “Come now, Avatar! They’re ugly!”

  • http://sbkmulletman.deviantart.com/ sbkMulletMan

    Well, the GOG Winter Sale just started, so I’m gettin’ me some Ultima games! And right on day 1 we have both Underworld games together for a buck each. Time to give Baron Horrible Von Voice Actor a visit!

    Again, a big thanks to Spoony, Richard and all the Ultima guys for giving me something to be excited for (even if I am a couple decades late, but hey, that’s what GOG is there for!)

    • Daniel Tilson

      Ultima Underworld is still one of my favorite video games. Terrible voice acting and all.

  • darkmage0707077

    Very funny, though at the end, I was expecting the Avatar to go over and say “You’re right, I’m sorry. Hear, have some bread, my lord; I made it fresh this morning!”
    “Oh, thank you, Avata-*gag gag choke thud*”
    “Heh heh heh heh…”

  • Book of Keys

    Richard wasn’t really seen much (that I can remember) back in the day when the Ultima series was taking off except for a few interviews but now with the new Avatar game, it’s really cool to see him all over the place. I think his first interview since the start of the Kickstarter was with Rooster Teeth. I’m really looking forward to ‘Shroud of the Avatar’. I hope it turns out really good and becomes a long series because I really want to visit his world again.

  • locoma

    omg, this is priceless… who would have thought we would be watching Lord British himself playing a part in a spoony hosted video… dream come true :) congrats Spoony

  • http://sad.com/fakewebsite Claire Lopez

    Best part of the whole thing. Spoony looking at the axe going “What the fuck?”

  • Obstreperous

    You’ve been bashing on his games since forever, and then he’s all “lets do an Ultima skit together!” That guy is so cool!

    Also, “Edited by Sherry The Mouse”? Nice!

    • John Haslach

      Well, Garriot did get screwed over by EA as much as Spoony did. His babies were rushed out and ruined by those monsters.

  • http://jesse-dylan.livejournal.com Jesse_Dylan

    Now if only Shroud of the Avatar weren’t an MMO. :(

    • groggarioth

      Technically not, you can plauy solo, or hot room, or MMO style, like Diablo II and LoD, probably my favourite RPG of all time, and the play style is the reason I’m intending to get SotA

  • NewWorld

    Haha the accents were great. Really nice job.

  • Bayz

    > tfw Essential NPC is an asshole…

  • http://twilightutopia.blogspot.com/ Ermis Vassilopoulos

    Great vid man.

  • The Spoony Experiment
    @ 2014 Noah Antwiler
  • Privacy Policy
  • "Burt-OS" forged by The Engineer.
  • Logo image by Marobot.