FMV Hell – Privateer 2: The Darkening

The Spoony One | Mar 25 2010 | more notation(s) | 

There will be darkening the likes of which you’ll be unable to see!

  • Anonymous

    Hell yeah! The original Privateer was glorious. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to play the game very long when I owned it- our computer had some issues and, for one reason or another, stopped running Privateer; then we upgraded to a different system. I must have spent a decade intermittently trying to install and run Privateer. The closest I got was playing a near-duplicate on my new computer in 2009, designed to be as much like the original game as possible.

  • Anonymous

    Hell yeah! The original Privateer was glorious. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to play the game very long when I owned it- our computer had some issues and, for one reason or another, stopped running Privateer; then we upgraded to a different system. I must have spent a decade intermittently trying to install and run Privateer. The closest I got was playing a near-duplicate on my new computer in 2009, designed to be as much like the original game as possible.

  • Anonymous

    Gotta love the Wing Commander series

  • Anonymous

    Gotta love the Wing Commander series

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruno-Miguel-Barreto-Freitas/568513794 Bruno Miguel Barreto Freitas

    Yay…another review to give joy to my day =D

  • allhailthetv

    Yet ANOTHER “I was FROZEN today!”? You're really milking that, aren't you?

  • CalebTheTimeTraveler

    I don't care how much this game crashes, or how bad it is, It's Clive Mother Fucking Owen, and I need to play this.

    • http://twitter.com/Anaphyis Anaphyis

      No, you’re not.

    • http://twitter.com/Anaphyis Anaphyis

      No, you’re not.

    • Anonymous

      I can assure you, you are not the only person on this webpage, forget the world, just this webpage, who has seen “koyaanisqatsi”.

    • Anonymous

      I can assure you, you are not the only person on this webpage, forget the world, just this webpage, who has seen “koyaanisqatsi”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Just a heads up, there’s a patch for the memory handling on this game (I believe on the Wing Commander CIC site, or do a web search) that allows you to play this in XP. It ran flawlessly for me on a P4 w/ Intel GMA video *shudders in disgust*. Oh, and I don’t recall any joystick or mouse calibration issues.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Just a heads up, there’s a patch for the memory handling on this game (I believe on the Wing Commander CIC site, or do a web search) that allows you to play this in XP. It ran flawlessly for me on a P4 w/ Intel GMA video *shudders in disgust*. Oh, and I don’t recall any joystick or mouse calibration issues.

  • lastsigma

    What a nice surprise upon returning home. Thanks for another classy (um… sure) video Spoon-dog! Don't let these kids front you N-slice, keep the reviews old school and we'll force them to watch the videos so they learn some history.

  • joeengland

    Dude… you're not old. You won't actually be old for another few decades. Don't worry about it.

  • Freakality

    Awesome review as always Spoony, I knew you were going to use The Thing's dancing heads joke again the minute I saw the looping characters, lol.

  • http://twitter.com/SBBurzmali Michael Curran

    Privateer cost me a joystick back in the day, snapped it like a twig dodging Kilrathi in one of the endgame asteroid belts at full afterburner. All I say was an asteroid dead center on the screen and *crack*. A little glue and a cut down spring I salvaged from somewhere and it almost worked as good as new.

  • BraveDave88

    Awesome, too bad the darkening is nothing like the quickening though…

  • Meshi

    Okay, where did you get that shirt?

  • amreese

    I would love to see your review on Ultima IX. I've heard a lot about it, but I've never actually seen it in action. That is, if I construed your “Aww, man!” correctly, hehe

    This might not have anything to do with this, but I showed your Phantasmagoria and Ripper reviews to my mom, and she kindly asks that you make them longer. She gets engrossed in those things to the point where it's like she's watching a really good movie. More of those, please, thanks.

  • batlashes

    Forget Ducky from NCIS, David McCallum was Illya Kuryakin in Man from U.N.C.L.E!

    Also, if the series goes to DVD, this review will be a massive headache with all the copyrighted references haha

  • Strongba1

    I kind of wish someone would take the videos from the site Spoony mentioned, compile them into Windows Movie Maker or something and make Privateer 2: The movie! Who would watch it? I would!

  • ReddiShadow

    It's funny how much the gameplay resembles X-Wing Alliance, one of my favourite nostalgic games. The HUD, the feel, the use of hyperspace nav-points… and, funnily enough, I can't get it to work on my new PC either! Damn it's lack of joystick ports!

    Also, hooray for Wing Commander movie review! Expect sonar. IN SPACE.

  • batlashes

    I can't find the site that the high quality version of the FMV is from, anybody got a link please?

    • Anonymous

      I think this is incomplete, but you can try this.

    • Anonymous

      I think this is incomplete, but you can try this.

  • derangel

    I just bought a collection of most of the Wing Commander games that has both of the Privateer games. This just makes me want to play them even more. Just need to get around to setting up DOSBox.

  • MrZer0

    haha, kinda dug your own grave at the end didn'tcha Spoony? Fuck, too bad they don't make games like they used to back in the days, I really missed out being a console baby.

  • devilfish

    Dude, you may feel old, but I feel so freaking young it's embarrassing after watching this thing! The first game I ever really fell in love with was Morrowind. What was that, 2001? 2002? I feel like I just barely missed out on this crazy age of gaming and it bugs me to no end. I'd played games before that (I vaguely remember Duck Hunt and a Duke Nukem sidescroller) but I didn't really become a gamer until TES3. Count your lucky stars you were there to see it all evolve.

  • http://twitter.com/SBBurzmali Michael Curran

    The reason that Privateer 2 sucked so badly is the same reason that all of Origins later games sucked, EA pushed them to release games faster and cheaper. The original Privateer snuck out the door just as EA took over, and their taint can be detected in Privateer's lackluster expansion Righteous Fire.

  • Salenstormwing

    You're so right on this review Spoony that it hurts. I never could beat this game just because I got to one plot mission where I had to escort some super important cargo a hell of a stupid long way and OF COURSE the transport jumped out and left me to fight a huge way upon wave of badguys, thereby causing me to lose the mission because the cargo ship was blown into a bazillion million pieces while I was 2 jumps back because pirates decided to beat me up.

    And yes, Privateer was a lot better than Privateer 2. Oh sure, it wasn't the greatest to look at but it was more entertaining, and you could sell ejected pirates as slaves. Seriously, whoever thought that should be doable in the original Privateer game should have been given a medal for how unexpectedly original that was. Blow up badguy's space ship, tractor beam in the pirate pilot, sell him on an entertainment planet, PROFIT!

    And lastly, oh gawds, you're going to review Wing Commander the Movie? That's the only movie I've been 2 inches from demanding my money back for watching. I've seen some crappy movies, like Dungeons & Dragons, but Wing Commander… Ooooh such a horrible movie. The part that got me was pushing the crashed fighter off the side of the deck and it falls 'down' in space. Down. In Space. It Fell DOWN in zero gravity. *twitch*

  • http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/blog/15075 Dax Strife

    Freaky; I was JUST browsing TopatoCo's shirt store and saw that very same shirt you're wearing, just a few minutes before checking your site for new videos. Crazy world.
    Ha! I've had that “crashed when I tried to quit” error many times, and I share your pain sir.
    Jesus, that mail taking over your screen came back in “Deus Ex: Invisible War” with people messaging you in the middle of combat and getting their face plastered over the center of your UI.
    Weird seeing that old “PC Gamer Editor's Choice Award” stamp on the cover on the box; were they just dazzled by the prospect of a game that included Clive Owen and Christopher Walken together? (Seriously, that needs to happen again: another game with Clive Owen and Christopher Walken, together again!).

  • Nexus_Series

    This game should burn in hell just for the infinitely respawning enemies alone. Jesus, and didn't Cronos look like Skeletor from the live action Masters of the Universe? (Cue dramatic turn)

  • AggsOfSpades

    Wow, the acting does seem a step up from the usual stuff you parade around, Spoony. A shame they could not throw in a few lines of code to fix the encounters and crashes. Still, something tells me the reins they put on the player would have caused trouble anyway.

  • Quicksilver_the_Archangel

    That insertion into the sequence from Top Gun was AMAZING.

    I have… no words about the whole brain-into-tail issue other than: Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. And ew.

  • midevalexponents2sqr

    I wonder if Spoony got his habit of randomly looking off-screen from this game. Watch the heads talking to you; they seldom keep eye contact. o.o

  • nuclearaptor

    On an unrelated note,I fucking love your shirt.

    “In the criminal justice system of Gotham City, the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups – the detectives who investigate crimes, the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and the Goddamn Batman.

    These are their stories.”

  • mondomolesto

    I actually really liked this game way back in the day. I never even played the original privateer.

    It was definitely buggy though, i mean…you came to pretty much depend on the fact that the game would crash if you did certain things, so you'd try to play the game to avoid the things you know for certain will crash the game, and….well it still crashed even then, but less. It did make the game pretty much unbearable though.

    They actually did put out a win95 version of the game, that was actually WORSE than the dos version in terms of bugs and crashes and all that. I made it through to the end of the game a handful of times with the dos version, i dont think i could make it past the starting planet with the win95 version.

    I didnt have any problem with anything else in the game though, i thought it was pretty kick ass….if they made a game that actually worked, it would of been great.

    The cutscenes were pretty corny though, yeah. I also came to hate them because anytime one loaded up, there was like a 50% chance of the game crashing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Martin-Kailuweit/1523114809 Martin Kailuweit

    Wait – is that Clive Owen??

  • urza22000

    there's no good nostalgia for Ultima Exodus other than the character creation.

  • TheGubbinz

    Brian Blessed = Instant Buy

  • drfreemanstein

    Dammit…ever since I set “I WAS FROZEN TODAY!” as the text-message alert on my phone…I start looking for my phone whenever I hear it…like in this vid!

  • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

    awesome review, but I think my favourite bit is the few seconds it took me to figure out that you're likely to review the Wing Commander movie and Ultima IX next. Didn't quite cotton on until you want “Aw man!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucek-Chuck/100000576199993 Lucek Chuck

    so what's your next Christopher Watkins related project?

  • masterblarg

    The first privateer game reminds me a lot of the original two Fallout titles. Yeah they weren't much to look at on the surface, but when you got past that you ended up with some very deep, and very immersive games, where you actually felt a connection with your character. A lot of it had to do with the freedom you had to do what you wanted, and how you wanted to do it, which differs a lot from newer games which, while good, never seem to recapture the same feeling for me (And I'm someone who really only got into the older titles just recently.) .

  • Strelnikov

    Nobody noticed, but at 9:48 the hitwoman on the right is Amanda Pays, who was Matt Frewer's partner on the old “Max Headroom” show; she was some sort of real-time editor and he was a one-man tv reporter/camera dude wandering through a bastardized version of a William Gibson urban hellscape.

    If you're shocked about David Warner being in this Spoony, then rent Sam Peckinpah's “Cross of Iron” where you have Warner, James Mason, Maximillian Schell, and James Coburn playing Germans (!) on the Eastern Front, 1943. Warner gets a good speech in that one too.

  • They Call Me The Fizz

    This crime group… is un-FUCKING-believable!

    …it's always sad when a franchise flubs the leap from 2D to 3D…

    Looks like you've set yourself up for a double dose of pain, Spoony

  • http://www.facebook.com/robbieelliott Robert Elliott Simmons

    sigh… just wanna see part 2 of FFX.

  • http://www.gamespot.com/users/cornbredx CornBRED-X

    wow, thought you were gonna do a positive review at first haha
    I was never into flight games so I never played these but those FMVs look awesome.
    I have one disagreement with your review. You said Origin Systems made the only good FMV games. I am sorry but there were other good FMV games by other Developers. 7th guest, Myst, Toonstruck, Shivers (wasnt to bad) and a bunch of others I forget the names of right now. Sorry but there was alot of good FMV games.

    The problem was, there was alot more BAD FMV games which is why you have so many to review. Wonder if you thought the Journey man Project was bad. Its been so long since I played it, for all I know it was bad. I only have my memories and I remember it being awesome.

    Anyway thats a shame a game with such great FMVs was (as a game) terrible.

  • Anyone00

    “Don't mind the mess; mess the mind.”

    Come on Spoony: how could you not include that line?

  • GaleDaWindMasta

    Considering how easily he popped his brain-tail thing. I'm surprised the thing didn't rupture and kill him sooner.

    Nonetheless, it was a every gross scene.

    Great review as always :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/TheBranches Nick Branch

    WCNews' Holovid pages for the win. Great review.

  • benrout

    Another good review, as always, but I've noticed something and am not sure if it's been disqusd (hehe, get it?) yet. Don't know if it's Mozilla or what, but whenever I go fullscreen while watching any of your videos, my curser can't manipulate the controls on the video player. Instead, it ignores the video I'm watching, and highlights/clicks on buttons and text on the web page as if the video weren't even there. Nothing major, doesn't affect the audio or video what-so-ever and I can watch the vids uninterrupted, I just can't skip forward/rewind while in fullscreen. While watching your vids, I am usually partaking in herbal supplements, so I forget, try to rewind if I miss something, and I accidentally click a link in the background and the video goes away and I cry.
    Sorry for the mini-rant, just wanted to inform if you were uninformed, keep up the good work yo.

    Oh and Ducky is the shit, I mean seriously, a character whose profession is an M.E., an older British Gent, and he carries out such elaborate conversations with the dead victims. Because he's hardcore and that's how he rolls!

  • jewbagel

    Loved the Dune reference.

    I don't know what to think about this. I can't believe the quality of some of the actors they got. Maybe it explains why the actual game sucked balls, spent way too much money on that part.

    • Anonymous

      Plus the game also had Jürgen Prochnow who played Duke Leto in the 1984 Dune movie.

    • Anonymous

      Plus the game also had Jürgen Prochnow who played Duke Leto in the 1984 Dune movie.

  • http://twitter.com/TooDarkPark Park Boyer

    Aaah, Spoony. Truly you are a gamer after my own heart! I do miss those days.

  • http://twitter.com/LucasChad Lucas Allen

    Speaking of Walken Spoony, I don't know how you will react to the Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Awkward Christopher Walken Moments video this Tuesday night, but I'm sure your mind will be blowned away by awesome Walken-ness!!!

  • CPBacon

    Syndicate was great. Glad to hear it getting props

    Man I had Ultima 9.It's just as hard to get it to run properly now as it was back then, and that alone is a very complicated issue to hash out right there. To be fair, there's a good game somewhere underneath all the crashing, unlike The Darkening. If you DO do a review of it, make sure to point out your character- Roger Moore- has a very gay clone who looks identical to you and exists for no reason.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1186272136 Brendan Morland

    I remember the days when Origin didn't suck. Ultima VII, Wing Commander III, Ultima: Underworld…
    *sigh*

  • Anonymous

    Pretty disappointing game. Even though the story got me hooked I never finished it. Still, I don’t think it was entirely Origins fault the game turned out that bad. EA began to dismantle the company with more and more ridiculous timelines. IMHO the very disappointing Ultima VIII was the beginning of it. Still Ultima IX is even worse (hell did they fuck with the continuity of the series) and might forever remain Origins most atrocious product. There are quite a few interesting interviews with Ultimas creator, Richard Garriot, on the net where describes how EA brought the company to it’s knees und how the shitstorm, known as Ascension, came to be as it is.

  • Anonymous

    Pretty disappointing game. Even though the story got me hooked I never finished it. Still, I don’t think it was entirely Origins fault the game turned out that bad. EA began to dismantle the company with more and more ridiculous timelines. IMHO the very disappointing Ultima VIII was the beginning of it. Still Ultima IX is even worse (hell did they fuck with the continuity of the series) and might forever remain Origins most atrocious product. There are quite a few interesting interviews with Ultimas creator, Richard Garriot, on the net where describes how EA brought the company to it’s knees und how the shitstorm, known as Ascension, came to be as it is.

  • http://twitter.com/AphoticLucent Aphotic Lucent

    Awesome as always, also needs more brain-curbstoping

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

    Hmmm. Wonder if he ever played Descent: FreeSpace. That game kicked ass for it's time. Ahhh 90's computer games. I actually had Orion II but could never figure out how to play it. PC gaming SHALL NEVER DIE.

  • devilfish

    Eh, just leave it to the EA-SecuROM double whammy of doom. I've never seen a game company work so hard to destroy gaming.

    • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

      You still think SecuROM is the devil? Well, it is, but Ubisoft’s “always-on” DRM crap is the devil on steroids. And of course, EA had to jump on that bandwagon as well, including it in Command and Conquer 4. So while EA is still pushing for the destruction of PC gaming, Ubisoft is right there with them.

    • http://celluloidandsilicon.blogspot.com/ Avenging_Mike

      You still think SecuROM is the devil? Well, it is, but Ubisoft’s “always-on” DRM crap is the devil on steroids. And of course, EA had to jump on that bandwagon as well, including it in Command and Conquer 4. So while EA is still pushing for the destruction of PC gaming, Ubisoft is right there with them.

      • Anonymous

        I know, and it’s killing me. Ubisoft, god forbid. I don’t know why, but I always thought they were the good guys. Bethesda hopped on the killer-DRM bandwagon too and I hate them for it. I don’t mind telling you that this whole vile DRM war has turned me into a pretty dedicated software pirate. That one time I payed through the nose on my waitress/student budget to have SuckyROM destroy my machine was a bridge too far.

        I’m telling you, it’s not the pirates and crews like Vitality that are destroying PC gaming, it’s this fucking DRM war the majors have declared. I’ll gladly pay for DRM free games. In fact, I’ve bought games I never really intended to play just because they came with a “DRM-free” label. I hate what’s happening now, with DRM as well as all these stupid, STUPID worthless DLCs. Pay real can-buy-food-with-it money for a useless skill-up book in Dragon Age? Fuck you, EA. Fuck you with a running fan.

      • Anonymous

        I know, and it’s killing me. Ubisoft, god forbid. I don’t know why, but I always thought they were the good guys. Bethesda hopped on the killer-DRM bandwagon too and I hate them for it. I don’t mind telling you that this whole vile DRM war has turned me into a pretty dedicated software pirate. That one time I payed through the nose on my waitress/student budget to have SuckyROM destroy my machine was a bridge too far.

        I’m telling you, it’s not the pirates and crews like Vitality that are destroying PC gaming, it’s this fucking DRM war the majors have declared. I’ll gladly pay for DRM free games. In fact, I’ve bought games I never really intended to play just because they came with a “DRM-free” label. I hate what’s happening now, with DRM as well as all these stupid, STUPID worthless DLCs. Pay real can-buy-food-with-it money for a useless skill-up book in Dragon Age? Fuck you, EA. Fuck you with a running fan.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

        Oh don’t make me start on how EA totally f*ed up the C&C series.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

        Oh don’t make me start on how EA totally f*ed up the C&C series.

  • mfenner

    You know, Noah, I know a freeware game designed after Privateer. You might like it. It's called Vega Strike. The playerbase has made mods to turn it into Wing Commander, Privateer, Star Wars, Star Trek, etc. Might be worth a look.

  • EtherealMoon

    If you like the whole open-ended non-linear sci-fi spaceship thing, you should check out a game called Hardwar. It only takes place on a single moon instead of a galaxy, but lets you be a total asshole to the police, trade in narcotics and bodyparts, become enemies of certain factions, own your own moon-apartment to sell scavenged parts from, etc.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Jayecifer Jaye Cline

    Perhaps a Freelancer Mod that would include the storyline and movie scenes from Privateer 2 should be in order. Any other game developers/modders out there interested? Freelancer: The Darkening

  • Chlorus

    Stupid question, but what is the name of the music that plays during this video's question? I heard it back in Microcosm review and have been wondering ever since.

  • johnbird

    Yeah i had the original privateer. I managed to beat the expanison to it “righteous fire”, however for the life of me couldn't beat the story mode of the first game. I spend maybe 2 years off and on playing that game until our computer just died. Windows 95 came out shortly after and couldn't play any dos games on it anymore. Thanks for doing the review, I wanted to get this game seeing how good the first one was, but now I see I saved some money here. Great review.

  • Ronin_the_Silent

    Lolz at both Dune references.And you didn't even have to make us ask you to do both the game and the movie.

    Lolz

  • highpriestofzuul

    Yeah, this game was a real disappointment. It's not like this was Origin's first ride in the space-sim rodeo, either – by this point they had hit so many home runs on that particular court that Privateer 2 becoming another blockbuster seemed inevitable. (on a side note, please forgive the massively mixed metaphor)

    I'm a little surprised that this review isn't under the “FMV Hell” label, since I'd say it qualifies – there's just too much emphasis on the cinematics, not enough on the gameplay. The performances in this particular game look great in a “it's so cheezy it's totally awesome” sort of way, so it might not quite fit with the “it's so cheezy it's totally awful” theme most FMV Hell games have got going, but that's no excuse for such a blatantly phoned in gaming experience. The money that no went toward just one of those FMV cast members and a bit of time could well have fixed most if not all of the gameplay problems.

    Personally, I still think Wing Commander: Prophecy was pretty good, though admittedly not the high point of the Wing Commander series. It was developed by Origin the following year, so I'd argue that Privateer 2 wasn't necessarily the end for Origin, and that they were still capable of making decent games if they had had a bit longer to get their act together. In the end, though, that one little jagged bump of “pretty good” on the plummet just added to the pain when it became clear Origin was definitely dead.

    Also, the little sticker you've got on the front of your box there reminds me why I don't trust professional reviewers, now or then… “PC Gamer Editor's Choice”? I just can't see a reasonable explanation to that award that doesn't stem from a sickness within the game review system. Was the editor playing a different game? Maybe they shipped copies of Privateer 1 to reviewers, hoping reviewers wouldn't realize? Or did an EA rep just hand the editor a big sack with a dollar sign on it while he twirled his Snidely Whiplash-style mustache and laughed maniacally?

    Anyway, fans of the original Privateer might want to check out Privateer Gemini Gold, a recreation project currently being worked on, home page http://privateer.sourceforge.net/. Personally I haven't tried it yet, but I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who has… looks interesting.

  • ApatheticOne (the original)

    Wow..is there ANY FMV game that Mr. Walken did not appear in?

    Spoony..these reviews make me want to play these games! Your descriptions and obvious love (and sometimes hate) of these titles really comes across in these videos….Sadly, I have no access to DOS-BOX….

  • brodkil

    I had a roommate who committed himself to beating Privateer 2. His trials and troubles pretty much cured me from trying the game myself, though I did get to watch the cinematics. It definately could have been a better game.

    I did play Privateer, though. I liked it, I beat it, and I even played the expansion pack. It's not my fav, though, if only because the game seems to force you into the role of fighter pilot to survive the main plotline. I tried using the cargo-class ships, but I would end up getting chewed apart by heavy fighters even if I attemped to avoid combat. I actually think the game Freelancer is a pretty good subsitute (you have to use a mouse – but it actually works in Freelancer).

    You know, remakes are all the rage these days. They should do one for X-Com, for Ultima, and definately one for Privateer (yes, I know there's a free conversion out there, but I mean a graphically updated version, not a working port).

  • leukarlung

    there is a fix u can download that makles the game work like a charm on windows xp 32-bit… And also a another little nice thing that makes the joystick calibration actually work. I have the damn files somewhere…. Privateer and privateer 2 are the two games I constantly come back to. Although I ususally play privateer 1 caue the second one really suck. I´ve also heard that privateer 2 wasnt ment to be a privateer game to begin with but they changed the name to sell better. I´ve never had any problems with crashing though. I played through this game a lot of times, and the ships gets harder the more money you have.

  • leukarlung

    I actually have the windows fix somewhere on one of my harddrives somewhere, only works on a 32-bit system though. With the fix you dont need dosbox, its great. But I agree the AI is awful the sounds are horrid and the inspace music I turn off as soon as I start the game, I hate that weird stupid music bits they are so awful I cry and turn on my Wing commander privateer Mp3s instead and close my eyes and feel sooo much better…

  • leukarlung

    When you get used to the weird keys that you can´t change it ok, the graphics are a bit weird but its ok. I download now and again, but never keep it on my computer but I constanly have the original installed :)

  • newyy1

    This review was pretty good… but I gotta be honest, I could've used a little bit more cowbell. I gotta fever, and the only prescription, is more cowbell.

  • TheRetroFox

    Woo! Someone else who likes Master of Orion 2!

  • kenori

    It really honestly looks like they spent all their money on the cast of the cutscenes. Not the best thing to happen…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matthew-Hill/1495231329 Matthew Hill

    whoa, wait a minute! Amanda Pays?? I can never tell if she's hot or goofy looking… maybe it's both

    ah, the man, the mouth: Brian Blessed

    • Anonymous

      She’s both. And she’s got a British accent too :D Seeing her in this game, reminds me of Max Headroom. Gotta dust off my old tapes and watch that show again….

    • Anonymous

      She’s both. And she’s got a British accent too :D Seeing her in this game, reminds me of Max Headroom. Gotta dust off my old tapes and watch that show again….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mattias-Granlund/100000618693819 Mattias Granlund

    wonderful review, I love the space flying games, never played Privateer, sounds like it´s better then Freelancer on one point…the word freedom isn´t a lie….damn Freelancer was such a disappointment, good controls, sucky and sometime plothole inducing limitations.

  • LazarusLong

    How come X-Com never got the FMV Hell treatment? I would do unspeakable things to see Walken and BRIAN BLESSED Blaster Launcher-ing some Chryssalids in Rio.

  • http://www.maluku.de/ Maluku Seito

    Oi, don't hate on Freelancer. I love that game. And there are a lot of awesome mods out for it.
    I wish they would make a new one of those.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Ugh, the one redeeming quality of that game was the third party mod support. If you kids had any idea of what kind of stuff was on the burners at Origin Systems before it got hacked up. You’d know better than to sing praise of that evil spawn of MicroSwipe. I want my Privateer 3 damint =p

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Ugh, the one redeeming quality of that game was the third party mod support. If you kids had any idea of what kind of stuff was on the burners at Origin Systems before it got hacked up. You’d know better than to sing praise of that evil spawn of MicroSwipe. I want my Privateer 3 damint =p

  • Renaissance_nerd

    good to see the Spoon man back doing reviews. This one makes me glad i was a console gamer in that era.

  • http://www.holycowconsulting.com/ Holy Cow

    Well now I most certainly want to track down a copy of Privateer as I missed out on that one. I did play Origin's Strike Commander however which was a superb flight sim that came out a little earlier and seems to share similar gameplay mechanics with Privateer. I also find it amusing that the anti-hero mercenary you play here bears a striking resemblance to the anti-hero mercenary you play in Strike Commander. Picture for reference…

    http://www.mobygames.com/game/dos/strike-comman

    Who's to say what circumstances lead to such a poorly tested game being released in the form of “The Darkening”. Myself, harboring bitter resentment towards EA for absorbing and subsequently dismantling my favorite online gaming company, Kesmai, is…simply going to blame them. There's an article by Anthony Salter, a short-lived QA tester for Origin Systems who gives a somewhat insightful albeit one-sided look into the testing of Privateer 2. http://www.wcnews.com/news/2008/07#8748

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Ah, a fellow fan of Strike Commander. That game made me fall in love with the F-16 airframe, just like I’ve been hung up on the Heretic airframe from Privateer 2, and the Demon from Privateer 1. Long live commander Stern.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

      Ah, a fellow fan of Strike Commander. That game made me fall in love with the F-16 airframe, just like I’ve been hung up on the Heretic airframe from Privateer 2, and the Demon from Privateer 1. Long live commander Stern.

  • http://twitter.com/dividebyxero John Wilkes

    The 1st privateer looks awesome! It combines two great games from my childhood. The open ended space exploration of Escape Velocity on Mac and the space combat of Freespace on win 98.

    @Vincent Kresse – hell yeah, freespace was awesome! The expansion kinda sucked, but the core game was pretty fun.

  • http://twitter.com/AphoticLucent Aphotic Lucent

    why does the preview picture have to make spoony look like a blowup doll?

  • http://www.slowzombies.blogspot.com Slowzombie

    You KNOW you're in for a fun ride with a title like “The Darkening.” You don't see silly subtitles all that much nowadays, but that could be because entertainment media has a bad case of The Reboots at this point in time.

  • Duke of New York A#1

    Great video! Can't wait for the next one. Glad to see you back doing reviews and putting them up so quickly.

  • capochetta

    Not only that, but the loading swirly thing is right on his mouth!

    • Anonymous

      It’s a shame the loading swirly thing is not blue… :D

    • Anonymous

      It’s a shame the loading swirly thing is not blue… :D

  • dennett316

    Those FMV sequences were great, even the Brian Blessed one. Pity the game attached to them is so shoddy, great review again.
    Oh, and assbrain is a real disease, sufferers live constantly in fear of it getting stepped on or stuck in the doors of an elevator. The More You Know.

  • bastafari

    You should have a panel segment where you get some of the people involve with these games to try and defend themselves against your witty banter! Start with pumpkin head. And see if you cant get Walken to do a cameo on your show. If he's willing to do a cover of Lady Gaga, he gotta be willing to do your show.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/f16134 f16134

    Hey Spoony, did you played First Encounters? Idea was similiar to Privateer. Game was buggy as hell but still fun to play:)

  • babea44713

    Privateer was one of my favorite games, too. Although I remember I could never figure out what to do with that egg ship in the end. In the end I never found out since Windows also killed my DOS gaming quite efficiently. As I recall, Strike Commander and Privateer simply refused to work in W95, and that was that.

    Never played Privateer 2, and now I really do not regret it.

  • Number_48

    I understand your love for Privateer, i am an Elite 2&3 addict myself.

    Speaking of terrible sequel : do you plan to do a Xcom – Terror From the Deep review?

  • Kuncoss

    This was more interesting than funny, which is just as good. Can't say anything else than I agree – solid cast, somewhat OK story and they did so little to the actual game mechanics? Kinda sad really.

    And boy, Ultima IX? The only Ultima game I have ever come in contact with and I played it so many times since I first got it. Over the years my friend and I always joke about how bad it is and how many hours we've spent on it anyway as we reference its badness. Looking forward to that one, if you ever go over it as this felt like a nice tease :P

  • Anonymous

    snip, double post cause of lag.

  • Anonymous

    snip, double post cause of lag.

  • Anonymous

    I think you’d like the space ranger and X series.
    I am currently playing x3 terran conflict myself.

  • Anonymous

    I think you’d like the space ranger and X series.
    I am currently playing x3 terran conflict myself.

  • http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

    I always thought that a game where you play as Clive Owen would be the most awesome thing ever. I thought you could run around, shoving carrots up people's eye sockets and hanging with a Celtic Kira Knightley. Turns out, that this is what you get instead. Thanks for the consumer warning, Spoony!

  • claim44

    Very interesting review, spoony one ! It's funny to see the very different things you can find in the FMV hell … Most of wich i never head of …
    Now, go make a ultima 9 and wing commander : the movie review, you know you want to !

  • Spokojasne

    wow man, i was surprised when you said that you prefer keyboard over mouse to aim in space-sims,
    and i was even more surprised that you mentioned Freelancer as an example… a game that has the most dynamic and best done combat mechanics of all space sims, and i mean the non glued to the center of the screen crosshair, and non-static camera are just perfect for mouse control…

    anyway, i respect your opinion,
    and this review was awsome

  • DerKork

    Wait a second! Terrier… Err, Terror From The Deep was no bad game. It just was not really a sequel, but felt more like an expansion pack. But it wasn't terrible in terms of playability or control from my point of view. (It's always subjective talking about 'terrible – yes or no?' after all.)

  • latexpoultry

    Dune references instantly boost the ratings of your videos. Keep 'em coming.

  • leukarlung

    heh yeah its opne of those games I always have installed on my computer. Heard that there is a 4th on the way, that is actually based on the second one and completely disregard the third one … yeah I play the third one still as well… Its the only really good space/civ/strategy games out there and I have really been looking for one that is playable and the AI isnt atrocious…But there is none to be found except MO2

  • Hubbe128

    Holy shit!

    Ducky from NCIS piloting a freighter?!?

    HOW could they make this fail?!?

  • andreas9000

    Nice Review, never played Privateer 1, so maybe it's time for it.
    And I really hope you review Ultima IX, that game is both awesome AND horseshit, for a couple of reasons of course…

  • Number_48

    But it's a terrible sequel. It's basically a total conversion/addon to the original X-COM (Underwater edition) with an insane difficulty level (LOBSTER MEN, 90% of the weapons are just reskin from the first game but with terrible stats and lower ammo capacities), a bugged to death and contrived research tree, stupidly long 2-parts levels (i like spending 1 hours searching for the last alien survivor on this cruise boat, knowing the alien is hidden in a closet, waiting for one of my guys to open the door so it can instakill him). The only good part is the Lovecraftian theme of the game.

    X-com Apocalypse was decent sequel but Terror from the Deep is just terrible, only “playable” if you are a total masochist and like cheating like a madman. Of course, the “playbility” and “control” are good: it's the only part of the original Xcom they didn't touch!

  • http://twitter.com/mlsterben Ben Littlejohn

    Clive Owen for the freaking WIN!

  • http://www.facebook.com/PandaChum28 Joseph Paul Perkins

    No joke, I literally said “I WAS FROZEN TODAY!” right as you put in the sound clip after mentioning the cryogenic freezing. XD

  • melissia

    Hey spoony, try playing the X3 games. They're not as immersive I imagine, but they're a great modern version of this kind of game.

  • SturmB

    I always loved this game and played it through 2 or 3 times when I was younger. I never had any crashing or control problems, but I do agree that the enemy voices were silly and the AI non-existent. To me, that just helped lead to its charm and ease of play–sort of a “casual” game instead of a full-blown privateer sim.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MaSQuEdePuSTA Meurant Arthur

    Good god, this game has Amanda Pays!
    It therefore cannot be anything but awesomely eighties.

  • Bandyman

    Hehe, all the games he listed at the beginning were true golden oldies, Syndicate, X-com etc.
    Gonna have to track these titles down now, aww well give me something to do over the weekend :)
    Great review spoony!

  • Eener101

    If you like privateer and freelancer etc, I highly suggest you try out the game HARDWAR by Gremlin interactive. It is the greatest sanbox/open trade/”pirating/fighter game I have ever played. It is impoosible to find in any stores now I think, but it can be freely, and legally, be downloaded with a little searching around. The company went kaput sadly and the game has since become freeware.

    It takes place on Titan in a colony that has been abandoned and forsaken by the companies that started it ever since it hasn't been profitable enough. The colony has different factions controlling different craters and a police force and pirates. You start out as a lowly nobody and have to make it on Titan while you get involved in a sinister plot. You can make cash as a trader, selling stuff to factories and factions, but that is very risky since the more valuable your cargo, the more pirates and other scum will be after you. You can also be a scavenger, searching the surface for scrap metal or other debrie or you can become a bounty hunter or a pirate which involves a lot of fighting. And the dogfights are a lot of fun and a real rush.

    The economy is dynamic. Factories ask for base materials to make components, those components can in turn be sold to manufacturers for machinery, engines, shields, new ships, weapons and other stuff. If a company has very few base materials the demand will make prices rise and vice versa. The player can even buy hangars on titan and set them up as shops or garages. You can go on with the plot at your own pace or never bother with it at all.

    It is an old game and the technical limitations do show a bit in how flexible it is in your options to a degree and the graphics are not highres ( altho i find them super atmospheric.) But for me this game is as good as it got in this genre imho.

    So people, check that game out, you wont be dissapointed if you are into this sort of thing.

  • Anonymous

    Wow Noah, You like a lot of the same crap I played back in the day.

    I am really happy to hear someone else who likes X-Com. I cant get any of my friends to try it.
    MOO2 is one of my and my best friend played to DEATH like everyday.

    Adding to that, I am very VERY happy to know you do not like the Wing Commader Movie! God it sucked!

  • Anonymous

    Wow Noah, You like a lot of the same crap I played back in the day.

    I am really happy to hear someone else who likes X-Com. I cant get any of my friends to try it.
    MOO2 is one of my and my best friend played to DEATH like everyday.

    Adding to that, I am very VERY happy to know you do not like the Wing Commader Movie! God it sucked!

  • TheFeydakin

    Wow.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carlos.algueiro Carlos Andrés Algueiro

    There's a Privateer remake…

    http://privateer.sourceforge.net/

    I tried to play it recently (almost a year ago), and it's rather good…
    Maybe you should check it out!

  • http://cassave.deviantart.com/ Cassavius

    Heheh! The Ultima games. One of the few games where you actually had to take the time find/buy rations and sleep. 'Cos if you didn't you either passed out from exhaustion or you just lost hitpoints from starvation. Those were games.

    Nice review…awful game…

  • brycebailey

    First game looked awesome! second one looked sucide inducing. Noah i applaud your ability to play through it for the sake of acting

  • Olivaw

    Man, I never played Privateer, but I played a lot of Freelancer. I liked the control scheme and all, but it lacked a lot of features that seem real obvious in hindsight, and even the stuff on the back of the box was inaccurate to what you really spent a lot of your time doing.

    Of course the mod community is the real reason I still have it installed on my hard drive but even they haven't been able to add everything.

    Still a good game, though.

    And hey, what was that music that played at the end there? Seemed awful familiar.

  • Homncruse

    Awesome as always Spoony!
    I wish I could travel to some sort of time singularity were all the videos you have and will ever make are freely available.
    Waiting is indeed the hardest part.

  • http://game-central.org/ Keenan Weaver

    Despite the criticism, Privateer 2 sits proudly in my Wing Commander collection. http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/6062/vagwcstuff.jpg

  • http://game-central.org/ Keenan Weaver

    Despite the criticism, Privateer 2 sits proudly in my Wing Commander collection. http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/6062/vagwcstuff.jpg

  • Inimbrium

    Privateer 1 and Righteous Fire are my favorite games of all time. There were truly fantastic. As for Privateer 2 I never completed it because I got bored of the senseless fighting, put it aside for later and later never came. But you know I've never had your problems with the constant crashing. It crashed a few times, but no more than any other game of the time. For me the sound during the cut scenes was really bad and could barely tell what they were saying. Maybe it was my sound card, who knows.

    I've always been a space sim nut and have played pretty much all of them. I used to compete internationally on Star Wars X-Wing Alliance for years on the gaming zone. I still am an avid space sim nut to this day and I'm an avid X universe fan nowadays, you know, the universe that X Beyond the Frontier started? That's got some fantastic plot and I've even read the book. You should review the latest X game perhaps? X3 Terran Conflict. Great sandbox space sim, not as good as Privateer, but then what is?

  • CarlosLizardi

    Hey Spoony great Review! I got 2 questions though: what you think of freelancer, and whats the song at the end from? thanks again.

  • Anonymous

    Oddly enough, I managed to get the game to run fine under DOS, way back in the mid 90s when the game came out. It never crashed on me….ever…and the videos never had those scan lines that Spoony was talking about. But of course, it had a horrible bug that crippled the game for me….if you ever exited out of the game, you lost all saved progress. I never got far in the game, and back then, I had no internet, so any patches or whatever was inaccessible to me. I barely got anywhere, and saw all the FMVs years later. The first Privateer was amazing as Spoony said, and the moment I learned you could be a drug and slave smuggler, that was my primary income generator, plus running from Confed forces made for a harrowing experience. I wish I could find that game again.

  • Anonymous

    Oddly enough, I managed to get the game to run fine under DOS, way back in the mid 90s when the game came out. It never crashed on me….ever…and the videos never had those scan lines that Spoony was talking about. But of course, it had a horrible bug that crippled the game for me….if you ever exited out of the game, you lost all saved progress. I never got far in the game, and back then, I had no internet, so any patches or whatever was inaccessible to me. I barely got anywhere, and saw all the FMVs years later. The first Privateer was amazing as Spoony said, and the moment I learned you could be a drug and slave smuggler, that was my primary income generator, plus running from Confed forces made for a harrowing experience. I wish I could find that game again.

  • SkullCrusher

    Anyone else hungry after that brain sack squishing scene? I'm thinking nachos.

  • warxepb

    Because they used up all of their budget getting Christopher Walken.

  • neka2l

    Hello Noah, I have been an avid PC gamer and game collector for over 20 years – I own more than 100 original titles from the 90's and I have a collection of over 200 PC games in total – my oldest original game is a (ship) Destroyer sim called ADS and my oldest shitty game is Stryx (btw, I'd love it if you could review that game). The Worst FMV PC game I own is by far Psychic Detective.

    Here is a list of (some of) my all time favorite games from the 90's that I own (original titles bought whe the games were first released – not downloaded pirated/cracked versions) :

    Planescape Torment – own the original 4CD version
    Pacific Strike
    Privateer and Wing Commander III
    Quest for Glory: Shadows of Darkness
    Broken Sword
    Gabriel Knight : Sins of the Fathers
    Curse of Monkey Island
    Command & Conquer (I'm reffering to the first 1995 C&C)
    Warcraft & Starcraft
    Fallout Tactics

    Your reviews make me nostalgic and I really love them for that. Keep up the good work Noah.

    Much respect,

    A fellow PC gamer…

  • Shinyo

    You love Walken? He's got his own little home movie cooking thing going on in youtube!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43VjLCRqKNk

  • RPGaholic

    Spoony, as a guy who was more Mac than PC during the FMV days, I didn't have a lot of options to play these games. However, based on your liking of the original Privateer, have you ever played Escape Velocity Nova? The original two games (just Escape Velocity, and its followup Escape Velocity Override) were Mac only, but when they came out with Nova, they went cross platform. The open-ended plots, the hardcore mode (forget to buy an escape pod or forget to launch it as your ship's going up in flames, its game over), and just a totally immersive universe seems that it should be right up your alley.

  • StealthKnight

    Just watching the game footage you showed proved how bad this game is. I did play some PC games off and on during the 90's but it wasn't until 2002 when I got No one lives forever 2 did I get into PC gaming. I ended up missing a lot of classics but I luckily missed the FMV era. It would have been hard to get me into DOS games back then as I was not fond of DOS at all.

  • kingcobra40

    This game has the same storyline as pluto nash?

  • yukovalis

    If Brian shouted in his crazy state “Fresh Horses!” I would have lost it and fell to the floor laughing. :)

    Seriously they deserve so much better… but it's better then no preformance at all I guess..

  • LGSama

    Oh, thank you Spoony! You just saved me from attempting to purchase that buttnugget of fail. Seriously, I had been checking Amazon and eBay for a while and I was just about to get P2 when I noticed this video. I didn't know it would be that bad.

    BTW, there've been several attempts to remake Privateer…and, in my opinion, Privateer 2. It's a fan-based thing going on under the names of Privateer Gold and Vega Strike. Privateer Gold pleasantly replicates the Privateer/Righteous Fire experience while Vega Strike…well…replicates Privateer 2. I say that, because when I tried Vega Strike, I only played for a few minutes, got incredibly frustrated with the counter-intuitive controls, and uninstalled it.

  • http://www.aj-scruffles.co.uk/magazine/ AJ Scruffles

    Ha, playing the original privateer was like nothing else, before or since. I had a fit of nostalgia once and tried to replicate the experience with some game (X2 ? [I don't play games much anymore]) but it could never be the same. The controls were so intutive (as I remember), you could invest some imagination in it and not feel like a numpt, the graphics look rather lame now of course but they just felt right back then.

    I can remember privateer 2 coming out and intending to buy it yet somehow never did, probably too much Champ Manager! Lucky I guess.

    Brian Blessed sounds more like Count Buckules in that clip than ever. Plus, Clive Owen, I like him, but i've never found him believable as a human being…

  • taranaich

    Brian Blessed is always welcome. It's just a shame he always plays himself in these sorts of projects: he's capable of great subtlety and understated performances when he puts his mind to it. He's always watchable, though.

  • http://game-central.org/ Keenan Weaver

    Despite the criticism, Priv2 sits proudly in my Wing Commander collection. http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/6062/vagwcst

  • hadokenboom25

    The scene where he stepped on his brain-tail thing made me laugh my ass off. There were so many weird scenes in this video.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trevor-Long/61900972 Trevor Long

    Spoony, 2 Questions:
    1) Who else (Besides Batman) is on the t-shirt you're wearing in the review?
    2) Where can I pick it up?

  • Anonymous

    all right spoony you need to play eve online you will like it but it is not a friendly game email me if you need help

  • Anonymous

    all right spoony you need to play eve online you will like it but it is not a friendly game email me if you need help

  • Anonymous

    Nice review, as always. Although i didn’t find P2 that bad. Not that you are not right in every point except the crashes. (The game never crashed on me, but then again, i had this neat boot menu. (EMS, NO EMS, EMS without CD-ROM etc. ) Ah, the good old times of memory juggling. ;) )
    Your other points are valid though: The AI was stupid, the planets forgettable. Also, in a sandbox spacesim, i want to able to fly big ships. And why did they call it Privateer 2, when it’s officially not part of the WC-Universe?

    Nevertheless, i had fun with the game. As i remember, there were some neat side quests. And the FMVs were indeed not bad. (Although i only saw them in the German dub).

    Sadly, the genre seems to be pretty dead. :( The last good spacesim was Iwar 2. Maybe Aquanox 2, if you count it as spacesim.

  • Anonymous

    Nice review, as always. Although i didn’t find P2 that bad. Not that you are not right in every point except the crashes. (The game never crashed on me, but then again, i had this neat boot menu. (EMS, NO EMS, EMS without CD-ROM etc. ) Ah, the good old times of memory juggling. ;) )
    Your other points are valid though: The AI was stupid, the planets forgettable. Also, in a sandbox spacesim, i want to able to fly big ships. And why did they call it Privateer 2, when it’s officially not part of the WC-Universe?

    Nevertheless, i had fun with the game. As i remember, there were some neat side quests. And the FMVs were indeed not bad. (Although i only saw them in the German dub).

    Sadly, the genre seems to be pretty dead. :( The last good spacesim was Iwar 2. Maybe Aquanox 2, if you count it as spacesim.

  • Ashenge

    I could've gone my whole life not seeing the effect of that brain getting squashed underfoot… AAAAUUUUUGH.

  • zeekthegeek

    the shirt is by Brandon Bird, of brandonbird.com

  • trejrh

    dude can you put all of the FMVs up it would make a bad ass movie

  • ohnomoogle

    Made the mistake of watching this in class, Brian Blessed made me fall out of my chair in a fit of giggles.

    <3 David Warner so much.

  • robek

    anyone here remembers “Dungeon Keeper”?

  • Disthron

    You know Spoony, you've said in the past that you can't review good games becouse you don't have anything to say about them, other than that there good. But the first part of this review was about a good game. You convaied how good it was in your own style. I'm sure you could do that for other things.

    Anyway, I've actually been looking for this game. Ever since I found out about the cast in the FMVs. I also heard that Ultima 9 was really good once all the patches were applied.

    Anyway, good review. I hope you do Wing Commander the movie next. ^_^

  • neka2l

    I believe the best Wing Commander was the third one (Heart of the Tiger) and the worst was Wing Commander Armada…

    On a different note, if anyone wants to watch Wing Commander III : Heart of the Tiger “the movie”, just google
    “Queeg's Wing Commander III Movie Project” (13 YT videos)
    or go to
    http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/scif

    Enjoy!

  • graylord

    I think you'd be positively surprised of X3 if you spent an hour to get into it.
    The first privateer game pretty much sounds like an old version of it, all the things you mention is present in the game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Ventura/548493407 Nick Ventura

    Another Awesome one spoony

  • Eener101

    I personally hated X3. It felt so empty and every action felt like filing paperwork for a permit with superfluous crap upon superfluous crap. Everything felt so unnecessarely complicated. I liked Freelancer a lot better in that regard since it was more of a gungho game, altho the economy aspect was more neglected in it. Still I find HARDWAR to be the game that combines action, scifi and trading the best so far. A shame there never was a sequel for it.

  • Joseph_Nash

    Hot damn, this inspired me to get a copy of Privateer (1, not 2) and try it out. Damn good game. Just goes to show all the good games my generation will most likely never play (me being born in the 90's) because they don't have t3h uber graphix and take a little preparation to run.

  • graylord

    I honestly don't see how you can compare it to paperwork, every action is direct, there is barely any micromanagement if you can even call it that.

  • leukarlung

    I like X3better then freelancer since I can actually use a joystick in that game. there is no point in playing freelancer if its not a spaceim since you use your mouse. Its the same with dark star one, although they released a fix that let you use a joystick but there was no way to change to use inverted joystick wich made it totally nonsense anyway. Hehe yeah I like my joystick, thats why privateer and X3 are such awesome games. X3 is not that complicated once you get into it, it takes a lot of time to play though and I like that aspect of the game. It almost seems as a universe that could work as a multiplayer…

  • Booze Zombie

    Awesome stuff, Spoony.

    I feel your pain at games faultering in sequels, Fallout 3's story and “meaningful interactions” just didn't go how I'd have liked.
    Of course, the general public loved it, but I wasn't too happy.

    Back to Privateer 2, it's a shame it wasn't a good game because, as you said, the movie scenes come across as damn compelling.
    Except Brian Blessed, but he's so amazingly off his rocker it doesn't matter.

  • excalibur01

    Hey, what about Wing Commander Prophecy? That was a good game

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if Noah does Ultima IX, will he touch on the other games in the series first? I was never a huge PC gamer in my youth, I was mostly a console guy, but I DID play the hell out of Ultima VII and I loved that game to pieces.

    I was then, and still am now, amazed at the sheer amount of STUFF in that game. There’s so many little secrets tucked away in the far corners of the world, and lots of little things added to the game to give it personality. Break into someone’s home and go through their stuff, most every house will have something different in the drawers and containers. Some will have nothing, only a few will have anything useful, but what you’ll find will usually be appropriate for the home it’s in.

    Plus it gave you a hell of a lot of freedom. Want to follow the story? Go nuts. What to become a criminal? Be my guest. Want to kill Lord British? Well, good luck, but it CAN be done (in a few ways even!). Want to steal furniture from the towns and set up a makeshift home in a nearby cave? The world is your oyster my friend! I never played Privateer, but it sounds like it and Ultima VII were designed with a similar sort of player freedom in mind. It was a truly great game.

    And then they made Ultima VIII and IX.

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if Noah does Ultima IX, will he touch on the other games in the series first? I was never a huge PC gamer in my youth, I was mostly a console guy, but I DID play the hell out of Ultima VII and I loved that game to pieces.

    I was then, and still am now, amazed at the sheer amount of STUFF in that game. There’s so many little secrets tucked away in the far corners of the world, and lots of little things added to the game to give it personality. Break into someone’s home and go through their stuff, most every house will have something different in the drawers and containers. Some will have nothing, only a few will have anything useful, but what you’ll find will usually be appropriate for the home it’s in.

    Plus it gave you a hell of a lot of freedom. Want to follow the story? Go nuts. What to become a criminal? Be my guest. Want to kill Lord British? Well, good luck, but it CAN be done (in a few ways even!). Want to steal furniture from the towns and set up a makeshift home in a nearby cave? The world is your oyster my friend! I never played Privateer, but it sounds like it and Ultima VII were designed with a similar sort of player freedom in mind. It was a truly great game.

    And then they made Ultima VIII and IX.

  • dantinoakabastard

    hey spoony can you make a walktrought of privateer1????

  • aaronbourque

    Aw, yeah, Privateer was awesome. http://privateer.sourceforge.net/ is a modern attempt by fans to remake the game (it's not finished yet, but still playable, especially the “explore the galaxy” bit). Then there's the on-hiatus Privateer Remake (http://wcuniverse.sourceforge.net/) that's still downloadable (http://games.softpedia.com/get/Freeware-Games/P…). Also, googlefu will net you the original (along with the add-on Privateer: Righteous Fire) but that's illegal and piracy and piracy is THE WORST THING EVER.

  • http://twitter.com/Yadokingu Sag Ichnet

    Well spoony is obvioisly going to review Ultima 9 and the Wing Commander movie. There is no other way to interpret that “oh man!” after looking at the boxes.
    So we will see what spoony thinks about it. ;)

  • http://zelriku.deviantart.com/ Sangii

    Wow, when I watched this on my laptop, the video quality decreased 100%.
    Everything was pixely and dark…. nng…

    But my internet is sucking so no choice. xD; It's the 10th time I've had to restart it.
    Good thing I love your intro so much.

  • knux

    I still have that but it wont run the cd bein sratched all to hell so most video files wont install i never made it past the mission were u had to goto many sectors and fight many aliens

  • knux

    Nice Review and im goin to find privatie 1 sounds fun
    also why does the music at the end seem familier sounds like a sonic-Casino Level song but i dout thats it
    (I FUCKIN L0V SPELLIN)

  • ranger58

    Ah my youth revisited.
    Spoony as usual is absolutely correct about how awesome Privateer 1 was (and in general all Wing Commander Games), I still have My Logitech wingman extreme in the eternal hope that someone will revive the Wing Commander franchise. Equally correct is how much Privateer 2 Sucks. No other game I have played has ever come close to disappointing me as much as Privateer 2 did, I was literally on baited hooks for months awaiting its release, then I actually go my pre-ordered copy and it was all downhill from there.

    I still keep the CD's to remind me not to ever get my hopes that high about a game ever again.

  • capthavic

    Nice use of Microcosm music for the end credits ^_^

  • notyoursavior78

    Great review, many laugh out loud moments. I always look forward to a new videogame/pc review from the Spoony One. Privateer 1 did sound pretty awesome, I never heard of it before. As far as Ultima IX, are you going to review that? heh I would love to see that.That game was pretty bad/buggy largely due to the fact that EA games acquired Origin and the license to Ultima and forced Origin to put the game out onto the market before they were done play testing it and de-bugging it and what not. So that one may not have entirely been their fault. Plus they seemed to focus on Ultima Online more too which I don't think ever turned out as well as they initially thought it would. The development of Ultima IX was very tumultuous.

    There are some really funny videos from Ultima IX on youtube though. I never did play Ultima IX much myself. But I've had laughs watching some vids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    I actually remember playing a pirated copy of this game when I was like 5 or 6 like 15 years ago. I even still have the pirated copies in my CD case somewhere, although I don't believe there were only two CDs for this game. I don't remember much, but then again I only played this game for an hour because I was too young and it was too complicated. The only thing I distinctly remember is the guy at 11:52 who is apparently struggling in what I can only guess to be a metric butt ton of chewing gum. I can only imagine how he go to be there.

    “Alright Tommy, this is your last chance, where is my money?”

    “I'll…I'll have it for you by Sunday!”

    “Too little too late Tommy…Alright boys, get out…the Dubble Bubble.”

    “Noooooo! Not the Dubble Bubble! Anything but-AAAAAAUUUUUHHHHHGGGGG!!!!”

    Other than that, I distinctly remember another early PC space exploration title that I played a little bit more of, but it's been years, and the only thing I remember is you attacking a star base hidden in an asteroid, and star fighting in a pink space cloud that reduced your visibility to shit. I don't remember the title though, and while I've been looking through my collection for the game, I've been unable to find it, any ideas, guys?

  • alexk1991

    “Koyaanisqatsi” was a nice touch.

  • alexk1991

    “koyaanisqatsi” brings back memories. Haven't seen that movie in years.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ObieWanCoyote Christopher Lash

    As I've mentioned a in a few responses, there's a patch for this and a few other games for WinXP 32bit. Resolves a lot of issues that Spoony's whining about. I played thorough this a couple years ago and it was awesome. Although the original DOS version was terrible. I've always loved the Heretic fighter model on this! The Demon model from Privateer 1, and the Banshee from WC4. Strike Commander made me fall in love with the F-16 airframe and I haven't been right since.

    Keep up the good work on the reviews! And are you really going to subject yourself to… *shudders* that movie. Poor Spoony didn't take it well when the plot change was leaked. Green lizards instead of Kilrathi… I hope they were passing around some good stuff when that crack pipe dream came about.

  • Dasyati

    I must've played Privateer 1 about as much as you did but I never finished it… go figure. I'm really gonna have to reinstall it again now.

    I had the CD-ROM with all the extra corny recorded dialogue too…

    “DAMN, YER RIPPIN' ME APART!” *asplode*

  • spoonshock

    So I guess unlike the Microcosm guy, this guy's brains were, in fact, in his ass.

  • Anonymous

    Sooo… watching this review gave me two ideas, neither likely to be unique.
    1. I just had to see if I could find my Privateer and Privateer 2 discs and then play privateer while cursing the failed sequel.

    2. “Let’s play Privateer” (aka 10 hours of Spoony being a Space Bastard); I think it has potential…

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/ChaosLordJiro LordJiro

    Y'know, with the current 'Morally flexible sandbox game' craze, and the 'controversy for publicity', I bet a professional Privateer remake would do very well.

  • Spokojasne

    genre is not dead, it just gone to the mmo direction,
    check out EVE online, or upcoming Infinity: Quest for Earth

    • Anonymous

      EVE Online is about as fun as microsoft excel, and about half as intereasting and is quite possibly the only game where you the player spend the whole time telling your avatar (or ship) quite literally where to go, instead of piloting it. Alas and that one had quite a bit of potential as well.

  • englerp

    I'm not really a MMO-Player, though from what i heard from it, Eve seems to be really quiet good. Maybe when i have some more time to spare.

  • Spokojasne

    i prefer Freelancer to X3 too. Combat was just awful, ther was no feel to it. Freelancer was very smooth, X3 felt to stiff, so i could'nt get used to it. It is a shame, X3 has many features that are no present in freelancer, that i was looking for,
    the economy, the possibilities of owning multiple ships, or even own space-station was awsome.
    To bad, maybe some day we will get game that is a worthy mix of the two…
    Personally i have high hopes in Infinity: quest for earth, but we shall see when it come out

  • Spokojasne

    The game you have on your mind is Freelancer, and that was the second part of first mission,
    finding and taking out secret rouges base

  • Eener101

    Yeah, to each his own. I liked parts of X3 better then Freelancer since they were not present in Freelancer, but Freelancer did more things right for me personally. If they could blend these two I'd be real happy. I really hope they start making these kind of games again. I'm so tired of the god of war/fps clones and Jrpg crap

    If it doesn't have to be a real space game then you should check out Hardwar like I suggested somewhere earlier. It is very straightforward, combat is great, economy is great, the world feels alive etc and you can find it for free with a few great fan patches made by one of the ex lead programmers that greatly expand options.

    • Spokojasne

      i saw your comment about Hardwar,
      i’ ll check it out

    • Spokojasne

      i saw your comment about Hardwar,
      i’ ll check it out

  • hitfreezy

    Cristopher Walken and crawling brains. I said everything.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    I don't think it was Freelancer, as it was released in 2003 and I played the game I was thinking of long before that. Also, the gameplay videos don't ring any bells, and they look a lot better quality-wise than the game I played. Then again, my memory is a little hazy, and I might be mixing up a few of the space simulators I've played in my early years.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    Ooops, apparently logging in to Facebook makes me reply to you instead of the guy above. Sorry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    I don't think it was Freelancer, as it was released in 2003 and I played the game I was thinking of long before that. Also, the gameplay videos don't ring any bells, and they look a lot better quality-wise than the game I played. Then again, my memory is a little hazy, and I might be mixing up a few of the space simulators I've played in my early years.

  • maxwell34

    If you liked Master of Orion II you should review MOO III eventually, as it is also, like Privateer II, a complete piece of sh*t compared to its predecessors.

  • TheFeydakin

    Wow this game blows. I think I just lost some of my water…err lunch.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Isaacian Aaron Kafun

    Aha, I figured it out, the game is FreeSpace 2.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Askew/100000765570036 Christopher Askew

    That first intallment really gets me to thinking of the Escape Velocity series, made by Ambrosia (typically for Mac, but EV Nova had an awesome Windows release). Same sorta deal where you start as a courrier in a clunker of a shuttle, slowly building up your funds until you've got enough to buy whatever else you want and do whatever you want. Run cargo, pirate any poor shmuck you come across, join one of the six major forces, hell, you can dominate planets by blowing apart their defense fleets. It's got six stories, one for each civilization, and while they're only told through text, they're written really well.

    Regretfully, the economics of the commodity trading are kind of like Privateer 2 (little to no fluctuation, few profitable trade routes). Still, at least your own ship can carry cargo along with your escorts (which you can buy at spaceports or hijack from random pilots, the latter of which needn't be paid =D).

  • novaargh

    Dude i was eating when he stomped on that brain sack XD

    discusting XD

  • CultconXIX

    HAHAA!
    Now you gotta the movien and the game :D
    Christopher Walken is it's own definition of bad-ass.
    Cool t-shirt by the way. m/

  • willharrison

    I know, I was eating a mars bar and about to swallow when he squished that guys pimple brain. Lovely. Thanks Spoony!!! XD

  • http://twitter.com/V8_Ninja V8 Ninja

    The original Privateer sounds pretty good from an experiential standpoint. Might have to check it out along with some other old games I've looked into.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Borean/100000041163314 Michael Borean

    YES. Civ 2. YES. WING COMMANDER. YES. FUCKING WIN. Privateer. orgasm. Don't need to feel too old spoony I'm 22 and I know all those games you listed well. My particular favorites for games back then was the gold box ones, the pools of radiance series in particular.

    Oddly enough I didn't even know there WAS a Privateer 2. Wicked review, with this review it felt like you could totally add, I remember it, so you don't have to.

  • zenithl

    Reviewing MOO3 would be like reviewing Microsoft Excel.

    MOO3: The best accountant simulation since Wall Street Raiders.

  • Dopefish

    I'm posting just to say you've scored tons of points in my book by listing X-COM and MOO2. Keep up the good work.

  • dantinoakabastard

    make a walkthrough of privateer 1 spoony

  • LeeEnfeild

    I've watched this video, honestly, eight or nine times by now. I guess I really enjoy this review, but I couldn't explain why… Maybe because you're going over something you like, maybe it's the brain-ass-tail. I'll never know for sure.

  • KaitBunny

    Spoony–just when I thought you had highlighted all of the greatest FMV acting cheese in existence…

    …you give us a delightful, big, fetid slice of Brian Blessed.

    There are reviewers, and then there are martyrs, Saint Spoony.

  • jamesjeux007

    Good review ! I really enjoyed it, espacially the first part, where you talk about the original Privateer. It really feels like you love this game. Maybe you should review games that you actually like once in a while, because you seem so inspired when you talk about them.

    About the review of Privateer 2, it was really funny. One thing though, you talked about the gameplay (it looks REALLY bad) and about the actors, but you didn't really explained the scenario or said if you liked it or not. So, when you said that the scenario of Privateer 2 is BS and have nothing to do with the first one, I have no clue what both scenarios are about.

    But anyway, great video, keep up the good work !

    P.S: For the people who wants to know about the music / song used during the end credits, it's (Report 0) Ulala Dance, from the Space Channel 5 Soundtrack (thanks Tunatic). It sounds familiar ? It was used during the Microcosm Review (my favorite one ^^).

  • mckaysproductions

    I was frozen today :D

  • mondomolesto

    i'm almost ashamed to say i actually liked moo III. well….in the form it was released in, it sucks, but some of the user patches and mods make it pretty good.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anof-TehDruid/100000811171331 Anof TehDruid

    Someone made a freeware fan game of the original Privateer using a top-down 2-D view and ASCII graphics. Privateer: ASCII Sector; it's not the best space-trader game, but it's truer to the original than this (actual Kilrathi and Retros to fight).

  • GabeInChgo

    I love Privateer! I grew up playing it, remember spending many afternoons upgrading the ships and exploring. I agree P2 wasn't really the same experience, but I enjoyed it despite its flaws.

  • lillefix

    I hate you spoony. You list all your favourite games which all happen to be the same as mine(especially XCOM or UFO enemy unknown as we Europeans know the game as), and you say they make you feel old.

    I'm 25. Please, say I'm not old. I don't want to be old. *crying*

  • Solitair

    Heh. Well, I didn't actually spend that much time growing up with DOS. I only really remember playing this one edutainment series (I can't remember what it was called) before my house caught fire and my family basically lived in Embassy Suites for several months.

    I have, however, had the fortune of playing some of the Ultima games, even though I couldn't get half of them to run and I never actually finished any of them. Despite that, I read up on all of the mythology (ironically procuring it from the strategy guide to the odious Ultima 9) and to this day I still have affection for the system of eight virtues.

    I also played Master of Orion 2, which in my opinion, hit the sweet spot for the right amount of complexity in whatever genre it's in. From what I've heard, the first game was too simple and the third was way too fucking complex. You would have to be a supernerd to get into it, and since I was barely able to scratch the surface of Disgaea, I'm probably not that sort of person.

    Another old PC game that I love that you didn't mention is Thief: The Dark Project. You really ought to try it. It was one of the first games to have stealth-based gameplay and I think it still stands out as one of the best. Unfortunately, my ADD has prevented me from finishing it or trying the other two games in the series, which I also own thanks to a good friend.

    I'll probably try out some of those recommendations of yours, starting with the System Shock games. To eBay!

  • The_Hyphenator

    Holy hell! How do you get a cast that good and fuck up the basic game? It makes no sense! It's like commissioning a box made entirely out of gold and platinum, with ornate, hand-made scrollwork and embedded gems, and taking a giant post-Taco Bell shit in it!

    On the plus side, I've learned about some cool old school titles from this video. I was only a console gamer growing up; I never had a functional PC until I was 13, and by that point, we only had a crappy, several years behind Acer with a Pentium I, running on Windows 95. I couldn't even get Tomb Raider to run properly on it because the sound card was garbage, so I gave up on PC gaming. I may have to build a PC and set it up with DOS Box to play some of these cool old games.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rowan-Goodrich/618010720 Rowan Goodrich

    The game was awesome. Very tactical and very enjoyable to play. still my fav space game. So like whatever.

  • lastsigma

    I second this plan. I'd really like to know more about Privateer, since it falls into line with a game I'm designing now for release in a couple of years… or a decade.

  • voltysquirrel

    What Spoony said about Privateer sort of describes my opinion of Deus Ex: Invisible War (and the fanboys groan everywhere). Now, I'll be honest. I'm a PC n00b, with little to no experience with, aside from the occasional Gang Garrison 2, Counter Strike 2D, and IWBTG thrown in. So, I never really played the original. Oh sure, I know of it. My friend used to have it, and, although I will be hated for it, I was 50/50 with it. The plot was good, yes, as well as the gameplay, but I found MJ-12 to be a little stereotypical. A mysterious government group secretly controlling teh world? First time I saw it.

    This game, however, was different. No one faction was truly Good or Evil. Your opinion of them was based on perception, not because there needed to be a Big Bad. Although ApostleCorp was seemingly the “good guys”, I still found them to be too nice. Siding with the Knights Templar was improbable but still possible. Personally, I prefer the Omar. There was something about a group of cyborgs who really just wanted to pawn off their illeagal shit that amused me.

    Of course, the game had flaws, like the broken ass ammo mechanic and the TERRIBLE voiceacting. Also, the “twist” that Alex D. is the descendant of JC Denton was REALLY weak. But as Spoony implied, even a flawed game can still be the best. Wow. That was way too long.

  • david

    They are actually working on a new x com game its by the same people who made bioshock…… BADASS

  • fruckert

    I just started playing X3, because it was only 10 bucks, and I must say, I like it a lot.
    Very definition of freedom.

    Also, you should totally put the commentary link up here, because…well, you've done it for everything else.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Flohre/538885031 Matt Flohre

    If you're looking for a game like this, one that doesn't suck, you should check out a game called DarkStar One: Broken Alliance. It's coming out for the XBox 360 soon and the PC version has been out for a while.

  • http://twitter.com/humandoodad humandoodad

    So many memories. I spend hours upon hours watching my brother play the Wing Commander and Privateer games when I was little. Oddly, I didn't remember from Privateer 2 except the sound effects in the booth, which were immediately familiar.

  • theforetoldlegend

    Spoony has just ripped this game a new hole

  • knucklescrow

    You ever play Marathon?

  • mrrubino

    “Brian Blessed acting like a raging jackass.” In other words, “Brian Blessed”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DarkHarvester12 Danny Caracciolo

    ugh that brain squishing part made me feel like someone was crushing my balls with a giant mallet owwwwwwwwww.

  • wingzero850

    i like you shirt were did you get it

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joel-Martinsson/100001017868380 Joel Martinsson

    “Late eighties, early nineties (mention mid-nineties era games.)”

    P.S. Sounds like Privateer would make a good remake BTW.

  • http://twitter.com/Atticwarrior Justin Daniel Zadick

    When doesn't BRIAN BLESSED act like a raging jackass. It's why we love him.

  • Kimarous

    You mentioned that you found somewhere that had all the clean cutscenes available? Where is that, exactly? I wouldn't mind trying to watch the cutscenes alone like an actual movie…

  • http://www.facebook.com/Bentley2210 Paul Bentley

    Who wouldn't play through this putrid sack of shit just to see Walken?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-Renee-Raisor/1164210124 Jessica Renee Raisor

    God, I LOVE Civilization. That was one of the first games I got with my Playstation, after waving a tearful goodbye to my Genesis to finally hop on the upgrade train.

    Also, fuck mouse piloting. But.. Walken and Owen rule. I think I'd play it just for them too. Maybe. I might just youtube the videos, because, that game looks terrible. Even though it should always be expected, I still find myself sad when sequels blow ass.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-M-Danielson/6028162 Jesse M. Danielson

    Christopher Walkin does a lot of these games…

  • http://www.facebook.com/robert.lata Robert Lata

    HAH! Brian Blessed is doing his King Yarcarnos impression from Doctor Who!

  • http://twitter.com/Davinsion David Mason

    I don't know why but every time I watch this video I think the Privateer pilot in the orange coat sounds like Guybrush Threepwood.

  • http://twitter.com/Davinsion David Mason

    I don’t know why but every time I watch this video I think the Privateer pilot in the orange coat sounds like Guybrush Threepwood.
    I really think if this was just released as a movie it would be really cool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-Pendell/100000790966869 Brian Pendell

    Agree about the original Wing Commander Privateer. It was the game that gave my wife the video game addiction I have had since 1979.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GYBBN5KRWSJTGZB7QOEYV7BBSU John

    Well, the singing wasnt as bad as I thought

  • Anonymous

    Seriously, anything with Christopher Walken can be awesome. Even this monstrosity you played!

    Dis smugglah…is un-FUCKING-believable

  • Anonymous

    Oh boy. I wanted to do some research on this little thing, as I never played it myself. Especially how production went and why it was shipped in such a broken state. (Besides my favourite answer: It was EA’s damn fault).

    But seriously, the first thing I found on my search was a German article from some game magazine from 1996, claiming that “this may be Origin’s best title yet”. Yes, they meant Privateer 2, not 1.

    Either they were complete morons, up to the point of being careless in their job of actually testing games, or they were shamelessly sucking publisher dick there…

    I’m so glad to see how you bring some attention to Origin games, both the good and the bad. They were alongside my favourite developers, with SSI closely rivaling them I guess, but nowadays few really remember them any more.

  • Anonymous

    Oh boy. I wanted to do some research on this little thing, as I never played it myself. Especially how production went and why it was shipped in such a broken state. (Besides my favourite answer: It was EA’s damn fault).

    But seriously, the first thing I found on my search was a German article from some game magazine from 1996, claiming that “this may be Origin’s best title yet”. Yes, they meant Privateer 2, not 1.

    Either they were complete morons, up to the point of being careless in their job of actually testing games, or they were shamelessly sucking publisher dick there…

    I’m so glad to see how you bring some attention to Origin games, both the good and the bad. They were alongside my favourite developers, with SSI closely rivaling them I guess, but nowadays few really remember them any more.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1423728701 Sean Key

    there was a privateer 1?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1423728701 Sean Key

    there was a privateer 1?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1423728701 Sean Key

    there was a privateer 1?

  • http://twitter.com/Katatonic717 Owen Fedorko

    uhg all FMV games make me feel sick

    I mean I know there are a few good ones yes

    but its that look of the graphics and the way the movies are shown on the screen

    those games are that awkward phase between 16 bit and 64 bit

    I think I’ll stick with contra and golden eye

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

    I don’t think Walken is actually in this game I think some people kinda missed the joke

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

      I kinda said that wrong I’ve played the Shock series from System Shock 2 until Bioshock 2 and I’ll certainly be getting Bioshock Infinite but I can’t get System Shock the original running on my PC

      • Anonymous

        The original runs pretty smooth with DOSBox for me. It does play a bit differently from SS2 though.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515476575 Glen Graves

          I actually don’t know much at all about PC’s and I played 2 on a friends. Maybe I’ll have to look into this DOSBox thing you mentioned and Spoony is always talking about, thanks.

  • http://twitter.com/hoosherdaddy137 Timmeh

    How far behind am I? Man comments on the page, to quote my fav beer commercial “Brilliant!”

  • http://twitter.com/hoosherdaddy137 Timmeh

    How far behind am I? Man comments on the page, to quote my fav beer commercial “Brilliant!”

  • Anonymous

    Ah Brian Blessed, his over-acting is what makes him great. And yeah it always sucks when a good studio goes down the drain and makes such crap near the end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/keinushi Keinushi Snyder

    what site did you use to get the videos, I’d like to see more christopher walken

  • Anonymous

    You know that crazy thing is I actually like FMV games! I mean there were good ones out there at the time when they were sorta popular…ok who am I kidding they all mostly sucked monkey balls!!! DAMMIT! I wish at least one of them was good..well there was that Double Switch game…

  • Anonymous

    You know that crazy thing is I actually like FMV games! I mean there were good ones out there at the time when they were sorta popular…ok who am I kidding they all mostly sucked monkey balls!!! DAMMIT! I wish at least one of them was good..well there was that Double Switch game…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tariel-Corbeau/1388782046 Tariel Corbeau

    Clive Owen….are you wearing EYELINER?

  • Ineedballs

    Brian Blessed:
    The funniest, awesome man to ever live. Best man ever, people. Best man ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/AishaLove Aisha Kegawa

    Privateer looks just like freelancer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/AishaLove Aisha Kegawa

    Privateer looks just like freelancer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1120740532 Nick Bushell

    Girl scouts, pizza delivry, it’s CRAZY! I love that line, cracks me up everytime.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527642372 Glenn Johnston

    Wing Commander Privateer rather reminds me a hell of a lot of Freelancer actually…that is probably what it was modeled after I suppose. It sounds pretty damn awesome with a bit more freedom than Freelancer gave you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Martin-Fledelius-Daa/560993050 Martin Fledelius Daa

      Well the guy who created the Wingcommander series (or at least the Privateer sub-series) was the one who created Freelancer, so there you have the reason for that :P

    • Anonymous

      Freelancer came WAY after Wing Commander. ;)

    • Anonymous

      Freelancer came WAY after Wing Commander. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527642372 Glenn Johnston

    Wing Commander Privateer rather reminds me a hell of a lot of Freelancer actually…that is probably what it was modeled after I suppose. It sounds pretty damn awesome with a bit more freedom than Freelancer gave you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527642372 Glenn Johnston

    Wing Commander Privateer rather reminds me a hell of a lot of Freelancer actually…that is probably what it was modeled after I suppose. It sounds pretty damn awesome with a bit more freedom than Freelancer gave you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CHAOSBLACKDOOM Andy Pechin

    When I was a kid, I played this game a lot. I couldn’t understand what was going on at the end because I was so young when I played it, but the environments were so cool and the atmosphere was pretty cool. I don’t remember being locked out from moving on for so long.

  • Anonymous

    I’d probably play it just to look at Clive Owen for a few hours.

  • http://www.facebook.com/franman781 Kevin Franzen

    I just started playing the first Privateer, and wow… very impressed. I love the amount of freedom you have just to make money, upgrade your ship, transport cargo, or just explore. I’m still hanging around in the Troy system, so i don’t suppose the story really starts to surface until after i use my newly acquired Jump Drive.

    I don’t have a flightstick, but i can get it to work with the street fighter 4 fightpad, and the gameplay is fun too. If this is any indicator to the level of quality of the rest of the Wing Commander Series, I have a lot of catching up to do.

  • Anonymous

    I just got down to it and got myself this game. Been playing for around 3 hours without a single crash. Full joystick support after a simple calibration process. Only thing it took is installing a win98 patch. Also on my first cargo run I made… a 150% profit. So in summary, the game is actually pretty good from where I’m standing – the FMV segments are beautifully done and very well acted and the story is progressing rather smoothly. Only thing lacking is the AI as mentioned by Spoony, but I hope it’ll get better with later missions.

  • http://profiles.google.com/davidsirritation David bembenek

    This reminds me a lot of the X series and Battle Cruiser, which battle cruiser was a horribly broken and boring game. There is no story to speak of and no actual goal. In fact I’m pretty sure there is absolutely no purpose to the game.

  • http://www.youtube.com/TheIronweasle The Iron Weasel

    Spoony Please do a review of Starlancer and Freelancer. Starlancer is a good fun game, and Freelancer was one of the first real games I ever played and is probably my favorite, and had the potential to be an amazing sci fi epic if it wasn’t for FUCKING MICROSOFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MTFZ3MDRIRICR5ZFNUEEKECX7E Steve

    Spoony I think you should actually LP Privateer or something, the original deserves more of your commentary!

    • http://twitter.com/Supra34 Tyler Baker

      spoony doesnt do LP’s you silly bird

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1756540070 Christopher Stratton Smith

    Dr. Who has been around since the 1960s but I guess you meant some reboot series?

    • Michael O’Connell

      He said its on par with the quality of the “modern Doctor Who series”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gabriela-Mizerija/100000750048199 Gabriela Mizerija

    oh god, when you played “what is love” I immediately remembered SH2 video with the same name, when James was shaking his head xD
    I’m too young to know this game (19 and I got PC only like 5 years ago) but it was pretty interesting to watch it ^_^ crashing games are the worst developer’s sin ever -_- that’s why I still save Morrowind every 5 mins of playthrough and the save data still manages to get corrupted >_<

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Meyer/100000062682757 Cody Meyer

    Oh look! GOG.com did something awesome! http://www.gog.com/en/gamecard/wing_commander_privateer/

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Hell, I’d eat a bowl of lizard guts every other night if John Hurt was my bartender.

  • http://www.facebook.com/louis.pieters Louis Pieters

    i got Privateer 2 the darkening game and it works perfectly except theres no movies. is there a place i can download the movies for the game

  • Anonymous

    Spoony, if you love Privateer….look up Vega Strike. There is a privateer remake they did for FREE…which is basically Privateer with better graphics, more ships to use, and more options to do.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Flohre/538885031 Matt Flohre

      Also, try Black Prophecy. It’s basically an MMORPG version of a space sim. You can customize your character. You can pretty much build your own ship. I haven’t seen much in the way of trading commodities between stations, but I’ve only been to one station so far. Perhaps it’ll open up past a certain part in the storyline quest. The combat is really good. You can switch between third person and first person cockpit views. As your character levels up, you can upgrade your skills that relate to different parts of your ship which allows you to use higher level parts on your ship. It’s a pretty big game so be forewarned, the downloading/installing/patching time is gonna be a while.

  • Anonymous

    15:11 – Sam Fisher cameo!

    (Hint: bottom right monitor.)

  • Andrew Gregg

    I really loved this game – but i have to admit this review makes some good points – guess i better not revisit this game, I suspect it won’t live up to my memory!

  • http://twitter.com/AntonyJefferson TheGentlemanGamer

    Where can i find all the HQ clips and can i cut and paste them into one long ass movie??

  • Peter Triezenberg

    You know, it’d be awesome if you reviewed Freelancer. :D

  • Peter Triezenberg

    You ever going to finish the Ultima retrospective?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ICDHG7TLTN6JVK6JMK3TKQFXKQ Mike Wallace

    Is it just me or does Cronus remind me a little of the Guardian of the Source? Pasty, bug-butter crazy, and ready to shout “Hello Joe!” to William Hurt.

    And then William Hurt destroys him with a glance.

  • Anonymous

    Privateer 2: PANTS TO BE DARKENED!

  • http://dearjimmy.blogspot.com/ Dear Jimmy

    ‘Brian Blessed acting like a complete Jackass’? You meant to say ‘Brian Blessed acting like Brian Blessed’, right? Yeah. I thought so.

  • Anonymous

    You would think someone would take the footage and remake the game part. 

  • Arsenal Of Megadeath

    hawkmen…DIIIIIIIIVE!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000574194475 Simon Yeh Freeloadercommie San

    exactly what i felt when playing skyrim after daggerfall,battlespire,redguard, morrowind and oblivion

    • http://www.facebook.com/TopherBlair Topher Glenn

       Really? I could see the first 3 ES games but…Oblivion?

  • Luca C

    You despise Canadians, Spoony?

    Civilization is made by a Canadian guy, apparently. :B

    • operasjonhusk

       Where did you learn that? First civilizations started in Africa.
      Oh, you meant the game series.

  • Robin Adams

    From what I’ve heard, when Electronic Arts bought out Origin, they pushed them to release games before they were finished and fully tested.  That’s why Privateer 2 and the later Ultimas sucked.

  • http://twitter.com/Jesseraygarza Jesse Garza

    The acting looks good and the story and concept sound great. Your only problem is the gameplay. But thats a BIG problem because this is a game! Not a movie or a tv show. If Spoony decided to review the in game movie and story, he would be praising it! But he is reviewing and criticizing the gameplay here, nothing else. He clearly loves and enjoys the story. But if the game play sucks in a game, then the game sucks… Im sorry, but its the truth!

    Great review Spoony! You are the man!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1828548404 Floris Voogt

    Me playing mount and blade: takin’ prisoners and sell them as slaves, i know excactly what you mean spoons

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-Wadsworth/100001172057379 Andy Wadsworth

    aren’t the kindred a race of vampires?

  • goblinking2k

     lmao i recall playing this and finishing it i was like wtf just happened i didnt even know i was gonna complete it lol it was that bad
    half of the game i was pmsl the other half was fighting 15 billion ships
    and WC the movie thats a classic “have you played the games??”  trying to portray the fucking carrier as a space submarine ffs!

  • Qoler Killen Jahn

    Muffins are delicious.

  • MrRuse

    David Warner just aced it. I mean… that scene. Wow.

  • Darke Mayer Goulart

    The game crashed when you quit?! How ridiculous is that?! I mean, what kind of half-assed piece of a shit game does that?! Today that would NEVER happen! Right, Diablo 3?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=588945155 William Bowles

    26:26
    “Oooh… Nasty.”

  • Alan Rizkallah

    Wing Commander and Command & Conquer are the only classic franchises that managed to make live action videos integral and believable in their game context. Well… Dune 2000 had some pretty good ones too. At least they understood that they are best used to tell some of the story or set up your goals, not be used as ACTUAL game like all those terrible 3DO/CD-i/Sega CD FMV games. Only about 5% of those are actually function and/or good.

  • http://www.facebook.com/magnus.ekeli Magnus Ekeli

    Sorry, but Brian Blessed is awesome now matter how he acts.

  • Smoke Fumus

    Oh come on, space flight with a mouse looks better – because you don’t need to always hold a mouse at certain angle, unlike joystick (in freelancer to example) you just pick mouse control option and leave it at certain angle, moved but not giving it additional pressure from your hand, thus making your hand spend less energy, and sustain much, MUCH more longer.
    So yeah, if i’ll ever get spaceship – i’ll install mouse on it as control device, because to hell with joystick – i’d rater have 20 more hours of mouse control than exhaust my hand, holding joystick at certain angle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Samuel-Wiles/512511442 Samuel Wiles

    Spoony, never again question the genius that is Brian Blessed. Seriously.

  • http://twitter.com/Supra34 Tyler Baker

    yea i noticed that after i posted that lol. But even so he still only has about 3 or 4 LPS totall. He is mostly a reviewer mostly and doesnt really have the time to sit down and make an lp

    • http://www.facebook.com/phenian.oliver Phenian Oliver

      He has more than that as well. Phantasmagoria 2, and Johnny Mnemonic come to mind.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=558892610 Milky Bell

        X-COM…

  • David Mason

    I would love to have a game like Privateer made for a modern PC. Sadly I know it will never happen and if it does happen it will be awful. I guess FTL is as close to it as we’ll get

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rogerio-Penna/100000887084570 Rogerio Penna

      1 – Freelancer
      2 – Elite: Dangerous
      3 – Star Citizen

    • Garmrspor

      Replying to make sure you hear the word of Star Citizen. So looking forward to that one.

      There’s also a game called Rogue System in the making which is worth checking out.

    • SUPERSOUP

      If you’re ever here again check out Oolite. It’s a free redo of the classic Elite.

    • perfectlyreasonabletoo

      Space Rangers is similar in a lot of ways. It’s a very different game but it has the same concepts and a lot more.

  • http://sekiwat.deviantart.com/ sekiwat

    Why did he say there were 10 kick ass games? Isn’t Ultima 9 like his least favorite game ever? And I thought he didn’t like 8 as well. And wasn’t Akalabeth not an Ultima game?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rogerio-Penna/100000887084570 Rogerio Penna

      Ultima 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and Ultima Underworld 1 and 2?

      • http://sekiwat.deviantart.com/ sekiwat

        But didn’t he hate 8 as well?

        • Garmrspor

          Ultima Online?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cheryl-ann-Berlin/717598338 Cheryl-ann Berlin

    Did you ever play Tie Fighter? This reminds me a lot of that great game

  • Yoda’s Dad

    Awesome. What a blast from the past.

  • http://www.kizi1.org/ Kizi

    very good, I like it thanks

  • ilynx

    Amazing video Spoony!

  • http://www.ht83.com/ free games online
  • Filipe Isabelinho

    This is coming out on GoG… oh god!

  • Macintrasher

    Dammit, Spoony, why’d you have to switch to the video provider the Nerd uses? I’ve had nothing but problems with these guys, including, but not limited to:

    Data stream constantly stops, and I have to switch back and forth between lo-def and hi-def to keep it going.

    Lo-def only plays for maybe 30 seconds at best, and the more I switch, the more the audio de-synchs.

    Hi-def plays the longest, but will still crap out. Worse yet, at random the video will drop to 1 frame every few seconds for about 10 seconds while the audio goes on unaffected, then go back to normal.

    If I don’t switch to hi/low-def in about 30 seconds, the video stops and I have to start it over. If I pause it to try and let it buffer but don’t un-pause it within about a minute, the same thing happens.

    Hi-def video keeps buffering with a 3 megabit connection. I know it’s not that fast, but it’s the best I can get in my area, and I never had issues when you used Springboard.

    Go back to Springboard, or at least find a better streaming video provider. As it stands, I’m better off looking up these videos on YouTube and watching them that way, cuz they’re essentially unwatchable as they are.

    • Roikka

      I have none of those problems, but I would like to add video and audio desynching occasionally..

      • wizzbang

        I have had ALL of those problems AND the ones experienced by you! I win!

        • Roikka

          Touché.

    • illidan4ever

      Sometimes it skips. I rewind it a bit and it fixes itself.

  • Groverfield

    No. You’re not getting texted on Steam, that’s just the video.

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