The Ring: Terror’s Realm (Part 1)

The Spoony One | Nov 1 2012 | more notation(s) | 

Before you die, you see a shitty game.

Link to Part 2

  • Zach Bonner


  • Kyle Rybski

    Yeah, laptops had floppy drives. Back when they were about as thick as that Dreamcast.

    • Tomas Shea

      my first laptop had a Floppy Drive…. i feel old

      • Kyle Rybski

        Yeah, I only know because the first one I used had a floppy. It wasn’t mine, but my fathers, but still.

        • Arcc

          I had a series of laptops with floppy drives, and for obvious reasons I could pretty much only play old Sierra games on them. Which was fine; King’s Quest IV and Quest for Glory II were great and all, but VGA CD-ROM games with voices had been the standard for years by that point. Hell, my floppy-disk laptop had a modem, and my desktop had a Voodoo card and 64 mb of RAM by the time my dad decided to let me inherit his Thinkpad with a freaking CD-ROM drive.

          • William Bumgarner

            My first computer had a 5 1/4″ floppy drive, a cassette drive, a 300 baud modem, NO hard drive whatsoever (EVERYTHING had to be stored to writable media) and if you didn’t set the AC adapter in front of a fan or two, it would overheat and crash the system after about an hour. Ah; the glory days of the Commodore 64…

          • Arcc

            Well, if we’re playing oneupsman on *first* computers. . . yep, you’re older than me. Mine was a very flashy new Windows 3.0 machine with all the trimmings in 1990. Considering I was living in Indonesia at the time, it was probably not the easiest acquisition, either.

          • J.G. te Molder

            Windows 3.0? Try DOS 3.3, with a monochrome monitor. Oh, yes, I remember the monochrome boys when they were bloody genuine.

            Ah, the days of DOS, when you spent 3 quarters of an hour fucking with autoexec.bat and config.sys before you got a game to play, and yet, when you got it to play, you felt like you were the king of the world.

    • ORCACommander

      they were also more robust then

    • Nephilim1977

      I still have one upstairs lol. Windows 95.

    • Nick Komlodi

      Ive actually seen a few 2006 dell laptops for businesses that you could pop out the CD rom drive and replace it with a floppy drive.

  • John Crane

    Awesome shirt

  • Mike Hopkins

    It’s an S. Looking at the font (it appears to be similar in style to Tekton) it has a slightly smaller top counter, an asymmetric and angular spine and a larger lower counter. It’s also been squished disproportionately, strengthening the effect of being mistaken for a D when shown at low-res, as Dreamcast textures were. Looking closely, there does appear to be two lighter areas for the counters with the spine between, pretty much confirming it as an S. So I believe it’s just Salad. Jelly. Yeah.

    • The Spoony One

      Nope, it’s a D. I got some pretty clear pictures of it that I cleaned up in Photoshop. Also, if I compare it to the “S” in “Chinese,” it looks nothing similar.

      • Chris Horobin

        From what my driving instructor and I could tell, Dalad seems to be a cooking style involving fruit, or possibly a restaraunt chain, not 100% on either of those though.

        • anxietysquid

          Your driving instructor watches Spoony’s videos? Man, if only everybody’s teachers could be that awesome.

  • Mustakhrakhish

    AAAhh Finally a game review! I love Spoony’s reviews!
    Can’t wait for part 2 :D

  • Jesse WilliamsFuller

    I’m guessing they meant to type “Salad”, hit the wrong key by mistake, and were too incompetent to fix it. I hope there’s going to be a Dalad Jelly t-shirt. That phrase is just inherently funny somehow.

  • Princess Stabbity

    Dalad Jelly? Maybe it was just a crummy translation error? Either way, you should focus on what’s really important. Trapper Keepers. Your insight about them could save us all!


      If I could see the original Japanese they’re probably all entirely different things. But yeah, obvious to everyone I’d think.

    • Zipper Dragon

      I have a threoy that its the brand of healing jelly. Like Jackal smg bullets in Resident evil.

    • likalaruku

      It’s Baked Jelly, a middle eastern doughnut.

      • dasfonzie

        so… syrup?

      • Tyler Baker

        it better taste good >.>

      • Kyle Blackpaw

        yea but that’s not funny

    • Olivier Thavonekham Robidoux

      It looks like it’s a typo. In a keyboard, the “d” key is right next to the “s” key. The game probably meant “Salad Jelly”

  • Antti Saavalainen

    What about Project Zero/Fatal Frame? Then there’s Hellnight (game where you cant fight the monster) which i haven’t played myself but is supposedly good. There’s also Rule Of Rose, Kuon and Haunting ground.

  • unacomn

    I did a show about Resident Evil last week, and I kept asking myself the same question. I get RE3, cause Jill has that outfit. RE2 had some decent gameplay. I guess it’s the shear horridness of the voice acting of 1. Sometimes it does try to set up scenes, like being watched by crows, from a camera angle that emphasizes them, but it just blows that to crap in the next scenes.

  • Sean Hood

    So are you using the Nicholas Dobkin intro for Video Game Reviews and the Andrew Dickmen intro for like Movies now?

  • James Enri

    Oh my god, I had to check the comments to make sure Spoony wouldn’t screamer us again.

    Phew. So far so good…

    • sbkMulletMan

      Yeah, when he started talking about jump-scares, I hit the volume control for my headphones pretty fast!

      I’m sure he won’t do it ever again, but I’m still paranoid after he got me so well before.

      • Michael Sporzynski

        Yeah, I was a little worried too. Maybe that was intentional – if it was, it would fit with him talking about how jumpscares could be used well. Now all he needs to make a video scary is mention the word “jumpscare”…

  • sbkMulletMan

    Son of a bitch. I bought Amnesia during the Steam Halloween Sale and I literally just finished playing for the night right before I checked here to see the new video. And I just finished the Prison area, which is a really goddamn unsettling part, so my paranoia was still fresh when I saw Spoony talking about the game early in this video.

    And watching…THIS sad pile of monkey crap is the polar opposite of Amnesia’s genuine terror. My god, did they get the Earthworm Jim guys to do their sound effects? Even Trevor’s potato story in Phantasmagoria is scarier than this game.

    Speaking of not-being-scary, I’m right there with ya on Resident Evil, Spoony. I guess if someone has a major boner for zombies they’ll love it, but the whole series is just too silly or too much like a bad movie (and don’t even get me started on the actual bad movies) for me to enjoy or find remotely scary. I was always more of a Silent Hill guy (well, 1-4 anyway). Dogs jumping through windows? No. Give me “The Mirror Room” and “The Mannequin Room” from Silent Hill 3.

    Anyway, this was a hilarious video, and we’re barely even into the game. Definitely a good calm-down after 2 hours of playing Amnesia (seriously, that game does it right!) and this video brings my Halloween evening to a satisfying close! Thank you very much!

  • Suen222

    Dalad Jelly = Salad Sally (the S is two rows high) – maybe this Sally girl is really into salad…

  • Adrian Izquierdo

    That into screen “splat” sound effect had me literally crying with laughter.
    and i don’t have a fucking clue what Dalad jelly is too.

  • jnywest

    This better be good… or I am going to leave forever. I am done with your with your bull… I need something more. I just do.

    • Adrian Izquierdo

      lol, you sir are pathetic.
      “Spoony, if this video sucks It’s over between us!”
      you suck! go back to treasure island! woooo!!!

      • Merost

        And you are an idiot who doesnt get irony.

        • Laurence Phillips

          That really wasn’t irony…that was just poorly done sarcasm.

  • TheTechno Wolf

    not the new intro, Spoony ?

  • Bojan Nemčić

    It’s widespread knowledge that all demonic programs are written in Visual Basic.
    Although, while VB is torture enough, if it only wants to kill people looking at the source code I guess it could be Whitespace… (

  • Alex Tin-Maung

    Great review. Yeah, I have never heard of Dalad Jelly either. By the way, what happened to the new intro?

    • silbmaerto

      My guess would be that the animator (I think it was Andrew Dickman) had a falling out with Noah during that whole incident a few months back, since I don’t recall the new intro being used since then. Somebody please correct if I’m wrong; the last thing I want to do is spread baseless rumors.

      • Holly Smith

        Spoony replied to someone on Twitter a few months ago saying that Dickman didn’t want to associate with him anymore. I’ve also noticed he’s stopped doing title cards for a few TGWTG people as well, including N.Chick.

  • Turkey OnAStick

    It’s Halloween, and Spoony’s deliverered.
    I tip my hat.

  • Daedalus

    Can someone who has watched the whole video confirm if there is a screamer? I really hate screamers. I don’t know if I can ever forgive Spoony.

    • Chris Horobin

      Now why do you think that there would be a screamer.
      Unless you meant screams of laughter, the best kind.

    • gewoonlilly

      There are no screamers.

    • Kyle Rybski

      There was a screamer in that Paranormal Activity video because that was the topic and the point was made. It really wasn’t the making of a recurring gag or something.

      Anyway, there’s no jump scares. Unless you’re really startled by the sound of someone stepping on a mustard bottle. Though I guess there’s one orchestra sting that’s not really an orchestra sting.

    • silbmaerto

      You okay, lady?

      Seriously though, he promised on Twitter that he would never use a screamer again, so I wouldn’t worry about it in any of his future videos.

    • Rubius

      Well, there is a jump scare… Goddamn music.

    • Ian Fay

      It’s screamer-free and I believe he’s promised to never employ the screamer again.

  • Colin James Tiberius Tougas

    I was pretty freaked out as a kid playing the second scenario in Resident Evil 2 with the Tyrant creepily pursuing me. Maybe jump-horror should just be a category of it’s own.

  • THE Sami Ryyppö

    Dalad Jelly must be what paladins eat, since obviously nobody knows what either of those are and dalad and paladin have same letters. Mystery solved.

    • Cthulhu07

      What’s a paladin?

      • Daedalus

        I’m not entirely sure.

        • Chris Horobin

          I thought your knowledge of the land was great

          • Emil Petrunov

            Whether thou speak truth or falsehood, I cannot say!

          • Ian Arnold

            Consult the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom!

          • zhellas

            The Codex of Ultimate Wisdom?

          • Frank Gwin

            Surely the avatar has not forgotten the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom!

          • Brett Hicks

            This is the most epic post ever….

            oh and…

            c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker

          • Octo Seven


          • smaco

            The Codex of Ultimate Warrior?

          • bbqplatypus


          • smaco


          • James Enri

            But that could just be Orbital Wobble…

    • likalaruku

      It’s “Baked Jelly.”

      • disqus_b3vNqO2EQk

        That still doesn’t make sense! What the fuck is baked jelly? Who eats baked jelly? What culture thought it would be a good idea to bake jelly and why? And failing all those questions, why do they serve baked jelly at the employee cafeteria at the CDC?

        • Gregory Bogosian

          I am not sure if this is actually true. But what I heard is that “Dallad Jelly” is a mistranslation of “baked jelly donuts.”

    • Gregory Bogosian

      I think that Dalad Jelly is Jelly made by the Dalad Group real estate company.

  • Faust

    Well it’s The Day of The Dead….close enough to All Hallow’s Eve

  • Natasha Nikitenkova

    Ah, sweet dreamcast

  • John Shepard

    Great Review as always.
    Definitely worth the wait.

  • Brian R Dalgetty

    I love Spoony One videos, they are just so re-watchable

  •örn-Apel/100002414853539 Björn Apel

    About Eternal Darkness 2
    There was an articel about the fall of Denis Dyack and his company Silicon Knights, the developer of Eternal Darkness, Too Human and X-Men Destiny. While there were working on X-Men, they were also planing on a sequel to Eternal Darkness! There plan was to show it to Nintendo and get the permission and budget to continue the project. Plan B was to ask another publisher to talk with Nintendo or simply publish it under a different name. But Silicon Knights get in big trouble from Activison, because they weren’t taking the development of X-Men Destiny seriously (taking important people out of the project very early and into the Eternal Darkness 2 project), and lost a lawsuit against Epic Games (they didn’t wanted to pay for the Engine, since they had to rewrite it to fit there needs for Too Human and because of that blaming Epic for selling them a broken product). Thanks to the mismanagement of Dyack, Silicon Knights is now a three men company. Let’s hope Retro gets another shoot with the franchise.

    • Mitchell Lord


  • Eivind Brodersen

    the Dalade jelly this could just be a typo or a translation mistake or, you know they could just make shit upp :I

  • kylejcrb

    Someone must’ve accidentally dropped their Earthworm Jim soundbank into the title screen of this game. Amazing.

  • Andrew DeCaire

    Whether they were mainly jumpscares or not, Resident Evil games were still fun.

    • Andrew DeCaire

      Also if you’re going to play Resident Evil for the first time, play the remake for GamecubeWii it fixed the broken acting, broken controls, has “awesome graphics” and the mansion is much darker and creepier. Also they retconned in a mutant who not only is she invincible, but she’s a hulking beast with nemesis’s tentacles, and wears a mask of human flesh to hide her face. One part of the game she chases/stalks you across screens for a while. “You cannot say that isn’t scary Spoony” Well, you can. It’s your opinion. But I stand by this post.

      • Chris Horobin

        But I wanted a ‘Jill Sandwhich’

      • Will_Z_Macht

        The atmosphere in the original isn’t scary at all… but you can’t tell me that the hunters didn’t make you shit your pants… especially if you were attempting a no save run. I can’t tell you how many attempts were thwarted by those green bastards and their instant decap attacks… While not horror… it had a lot of very tense segments… like the tunnels…

        • Andrew DeCaire

          To be honest in the “Original” the Mansion was too bright and colourful. At least compared to the remake where it was all grey and dark and dreary throughout the whole thing.

          • Steven Johnson

            I disagree In the 90s, Resident Evil 1, 2, and 3 were pretty damn intense. Both atmospherically and from the heart-attack inducing jumps in some spots.

          • Andrew DeCaire

            Just think how scary the remake would be if it was released back then as the first.
            (And it would officially have the greatest graphics of all time at that time :D)

  • Fabian Schneider

    Woo! It’s been way too long since I last heard that intro. Also it’s great to see you clearly in great form. Looking forward to what you have coming up :)

  • Lara Oude Alink

    I think dalad and jelly are two seperate words. Japanese eat lots of jelly, mostly with fruits in it. Dalad… I think it’s supposed to be salad, really.

  • Orin Bishop

    You okay Jelly?

  • Kyle Smith

    Closest thing I can think of when it comes to Dalad Jelly would be Dallas Salad. Its gooey and goo and jelly are pretty much the same thing.
    Though I seriously doubt they would use the Swedish word for coleslaw in a crappy Japanese game so that theory isn’t worth much.

  • gewoonlilly

    Tina Turner…. with a Hitler-stache. Scariest stuff I’ve seen all Halloween.

  • Marco Buhagiar

    Maybe the programmers made a mistake and typed in a D instead of an S? If you look at the keyboard, the D is right next to the S.

  • 成侘理

    I laughed so hard at Dalad Jelly that I literally almost died. (no fucking clue what it means, either. I live in Japan and I’ve never seen anything that could be read as “dalad”)

  • PeaTearGryfin

    That Dalad Jelly bit was pretty funny (I have no idea what it means either). That has to be the single worst sound effect they could have chosen for the title card. I don’t think I’ve laughed at a sound effect that out of place since Deadly Premonition contained a squirrel that sounded like a monkey.

  • SevenBegore

    The old intro? Wasn’t expecting that. I kinda miss the one made with show clips. Never get tired of you screaming at that scene from FFX. Also, liking the long hair.

    • Gildedtongue

      I’m a bit surprised myself. I wonder if that was part of the departure of CA that the other intro had to go, considering that artist does a lot for the main TGWTG crowd.

      Not a huge loss, though.

      • Alex Martel

        The new one was much cleaner though. I prefer it to the old. Maybe he just feels like switching them up at times.

    • Kayl

      He stated a while ago that Andrew Dickman refuses to talk to him ever since the whole Twitter fiasco. I guess that’s why he stopped using the one he made.

      • Faust

        From this one comment I found out that Brad has a new girlfriend with a bad dye job, he and his wife are separated, and who this Dickman was. It’s like I live in a small town full of white trash. Ah the Internet. BRB I need to get some more propane for my trailer home from Hank Hill.

      • Nick Willemse

        Too bad, his intro looked awesome. This one just stings my eyes with it’s amateurishness. Bad drawings, even worse animation/rotoscoping. Even if it’s just an internet show, Spoony deserves better than this. Too bad Dickman is earning his namesake again.

        • Octo Seven

          Here’s a thought, maybe his colleagues stopped speaking to him because he acted like a disgusting and arrogant moron? Maybe Spoony was in the wrong and everyone who stopped talking to him was in the right, ever think of that? Probably not because fanboyism>moral decency.

          • Kayl

            I don’t think that was brought up during our conversation and I won’t touch the subject because there’s no way it will turn out well for everyone. I was merely providing information. Plus now we have official confirmation:

      • hamburgerman
    • kallikanzarid

      I miss the very first intro with clips from Dirty Dancing review :3

  • Dane Winton

    I want that shirt.

  • Okanehira

    Check Comments, no screamers? Ok continue….

  • Sebastian Lundh

    Of course he’s asking her if she’s okay; Ladies faint all the time, even when they’re fine! just the other day I banged a chick for two hours straight, and she fainted. Did I ask her is she was fine or not? -No! As far as he knew she just climaxed! Seriously Spoony, sometimes you’re grasping at straws.

    Seriously though, great review as always (well, 99,98% of the time or something). I hope you’ll post the other video soon! I need my dose of Spoony man. *Goes to watch old V-log or something*

  • Neo Kat

    I still think some of the Best Horror Games Ever was the Fatal Frame series,

    they get good hype from fans but the series never seems to be openly mainstream.

    • Goblin_King

      I agree, best series ever, I don’t know if it not going mainstream is a good or a bad thing, on the good side it’s more likely to stay as it is and not go the way of RE on the bad side they could stop releasing them outside of Japan, They’ve already started by not releasing Project Zero 4.

  • Andrew DeCaire

    The closest I can come up with is “Doughnut Jelly”

  • Tim Kronqvist

    OH My god I want that shirt 8I

    Dalad Jelly is probably some sort of hidden message from the developers of the game, crying for help.

  • GameWarrior2216

    To the best of my knowledge, Dalad Jelly could be a type of jelly made from the people in Dalad, a county in the Inner Mongolia region in China. Perhaps it is considered a delicacy, infamous for it’s taste and texture in China, Mongolia, Japan, Korea, and perhaps other countries in that area. It could probably be compared to us Americans with pizza. New York and Chicago pizzas are the most famous types of pizzas we have in and out of the United States but there are a few different kinds of pizzas that are infamous such as the Detroit style pizza. Likewise, jellies come in many different types in which grape and strawberry is the most known, most popular, and mostly used kind of jelly many of us know but there are of coarse other types of jelly out there that in some regions in the world would prefer and maybe even produce but most people would have never heard of, let alone taste. There is also another point I would like to make about jelly, that is I believe the people in East Asia could call jelly by different names rather than the flavors the jelly inhibits. Going back to my pizza analogy before, we call different pizzas by city names instead of the toppings and style that comes with it. So I must assume that in East Asia or local areas in that part of the world must call different kinds of jellies, jams, and maybe even jellos differently than we Westerners would call them.

    Either that or it’s a typo.

    • SeiryuX

      “Dalad Jelly could be a type of jelly made from the people in Dalad”

      “…made from the people…”

      My God. It’s people. Dalad Jelly is made out of people. They’re making our food out of people. Next thing they’ll be breeding us like cattle for food. You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them!

      • Cthulhu07

        Soylent Green and Dalad Jelly are both made of people….

      • Zach Bonner

        It all makes sense now. Dalad Jelly is Soylent Green!

        • Emperor_Z

          Which, by the transitive property, is people!

      • Jycool

        We’re eating them! And then there going to eat me! OH MY GOD!!! … wait. I’m not from Dalad. Never mind.

    • likalaruku

      It says “Baked Jelly.”

      • Ishanji

        That’s what I saw too, but I was lying about 10-15 feet away from the screen. Up close it looks different though; they probably figured people would be sitting on their couch playing this on a CRT television so they could get away with using low-res textures as long as they looked okay at that distance.

        Plus, baked jelly is an actual thing.

        • likalaruku

          Yes, it’s an actual thing that we can find recipies for & make. Dalek Jelly would have been funny though.

          • Tomas Krystinik

            Actually they’re not far off from jelly as it is…

          • Mitchell Bandes


          • Ishanji

            Haha, that would be so awesome! The organic part of the Daleks are basically jelly anyway, so you could just make the packaging look like their mechanical shell. Mind = blown.

  • Darvol

    I found it out. Dallad is a ‘banner’, an administrative region, in Inner Mongolia in the People’s Republic of China. This type of jelly is obviously a local recipe, and it’s probably part of the company’s Mongolian Monday buffet.

    • Atmos_Duality

      Either that or it’s the Asian Soylent Green.
      Made from 100% Dalad! All organic!

  • searanox


    I love you Spoony. ^___^

  • xxStyxx

    I think the “Dalad Jelly” is a translation error and the Guy who made the Texture had no Idea. So, there is no Dalad Jelly. ^^
    But believe me the japanese are not the only ones who make such Mistakes.
    Almost every Game with WW2 Background has many embarrassing translation errors.
    I remember a Sign in Bloodrayne 1 with the Words “Die Pumpe der Raum” on it, in english “The Pump the Room”.
    I have to look on an old Harddisk, i had a Collection of Things like that but im not sure i have them anymore.

  • DerKork

    Dalad… all I find on that in relation to food is a vietnamese restaurant in Bangkok. But none of the reviews I’ve seen refers to a jelly from that place.

    In other news, DALAD.svg is an image on wikipedia referring to “Diallyllysergamide” (or DAL) which apparently is a controlled (read: not widely available legally) psychedelic substance – and I could see someone theoretically cooking up some kind of LSDish Jelly.

    But I think it’s merely along the lines of “hey, we got these letters left over from last night’s scrabble tournament. Let’s use them for a sign and confuse everyone.”

  • Arvid Helghe

    fuckin brilliant

  • Andreas Vieru

    You okey, lady?

  • Alchemic Tempest

    Good horror games only about 10 ? Yeah…
    Resident Evil had ONLY jumpscares ? hell no.
    Resident Evil 1 had a creeeepy atmosphere and a bone chilling soundtrack.

    • Jamie Sheil

      srsly? I was a kid when I played Resident Evil. I was scared of the fucking grinch (Jim Carrey), no joke, and I sat there yucking away with my friend as we played that game. Even at the time I could detect the hilariously hammy nature of everything and just laugh. Honestly the jumpscares didn’t even affect me.

      The only atmosphere Resident Evil properly captures is one of a shitty B movie zombie flick.

      Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy playing the series, but good horror it is not.

  • DarkBee

    That ‘splorch’ sound reminds me of Day of the tentacle, a far superior game of course.
    At least some of those conversations with the other women pass the Bechdel-test…

  • Jannick Hegelund Hverkeltoft

    call of cthulhu dark corners of the earth? i remember that Spoony said he liked it in an older video

  • Nash Knight

    There are plenty other good horror games beside the ones Spoony mentioned, there’s Undying, Dark Seed 1&2, Nosferatu… those are just from the top of my head

    • sekiwat

      What about fatal frame?

      • Nash Knight

        Haven’t played that one so I don’t know if it’s good

  • peteman

    Putting the ghost made of rage on hold is like in the Dresden Files book, Ghost Story, where captain Jack Murphy hung up on speakerphone the Archangel Uriel, Heaven’s wetwork guy and dude capable of obliterating the Earth with an errant thought, to avoid an awkward conversation.

  • Ilya Zhironkin

    You didn’t mention Call of Cthulhu you son of a goose

    • Chris Horobin

      Which one, the RPG table top game (which I can’t voice an opinion on yet), or Dark corners of the earth, which I personally felt dissappointed by.

      • Ilya Zhironkin

        Dark Corners of the Earth of course, yeah it was kinda terrible, but the atmosphere was incredible, and first two hours of the game were better than all SH games

  • Sean Samonas

    Where did you get that shirt? I want it so badly it hurts.

  • searanox

    I’m pretty sure “dalad jelly” is a typo. You don’t draw textures in Paint, and almost any image editing tool out there lets you type and edit text as well (ever used Photoshop?). Yep, the developers sure gave a crap about this game.

    • xxStyxx

      Nope, the most Textures (include Text on them) are Painted in some Way, especialy for Signs. You couldnt use a Font on your Computer to make such a Sign, fonts are under Copyright like everything else (with an exception of very few). The Typo comes from the Translator and the Textureartist didnt give a shit or (more likely) didnt understand english at all.

      • searanox

        a) There are many, many free fonts out there.

        b) You assume the developers care about the legality of it one way or another.

        That said, you’re right, it could have simply be a translation issue as well. But if you think texture artists don’t use fonts for signs etc… uh, yeah, you’ve got another thing coming.

  • Tomas Shea

    A Solid return to form Spoony! reminds me of 2008-2010 era videos where the nit-picking was fantastic!!!

  • sekiwat

    I’m watching this in Japan now and I still have yet to try the Dalad Jelly here. It’s a shame because there are signs for it everywhere in Tokyo.

    And Spoony, this video totally cracked me up. I think I woke up my roomates.

    Btw, I used to have an old laptop like that one which had a floppy drive. Such things actually did exist.

  • Il Sop

    I remember playing Haunting Ground on ps2, back then i tought that game was really scary.

  • Salen Stormwing

    Does anyone else think the “Hey, you okay lady?” guy sounds a lot like Coach from L4D2? Okay, that would be pretty cool if The Ring video game was actually a prequel to L4D1 & 2.

    “Grabbin’ dalad jelly!”

  • Jason

    Laptops had floppy drives for years and years. Hell, my first laptop (which was made in 1987) only came with two low-density 3 1/2″ floppy drives (which could only hold 720 KB). There was an optional 20MB hard drive.

  • Aiddon

    I actually think that Eternal Darkness was probably one of the most overrated games EVER. It just wasn’t scary and having some interesting lore can’t make up for that. As for why Silicon Knights never bothered to make a sequel I have two words for you: Too Human. That pretty much ruined SK and insured they weren’t to be taken seriously. Dyack’s ego didn’t help matters either and now rumors are going around that there are only FIVE PEOPLE employed at SK. I think Nintendo still owns the IP, but they’d need to right developer for it.

    Anyway, good to see another review after so long.

  • dm3588

    Your hair looks great. IMO, that’s just about the right length for you. Short hair often looks a bit derpy on you, and you could never pull off Nash’s hair, but this is good.

  • xerath

    “Dalad Jelly” is most likely “Salad Jelly” with a typo. For one thing, the “D” is next to the “S” on they keyboard. Also, the image is really blurry, so it was probably hard for the one over-caffeinated over worked sleep deprived game tester to catch.

  • Charles Ethier

    spoony should try scp172 conatinment breach if he liked amnesia

    • Chris Horobin

      You mean SCP-173, 172 is the old clockwork robot that likes drawing, 173 is the statue that snaps your neck when you’re not looking at it.

  • SpongerobertoSquarepantalones

    As soon as you asked, I instinctively came up with 7th guest and 11th hour

  • anxietysquid

    The mystery of Dalad Jelly can probably be solved by realizing that the ‘S’ and ‘D’ keys are right next to each other on the keyboard.

  • Atmos_Duality

    A few random thoughts:
    1) Man, good thing we have these 6×7 Prison Cell Offices!
    Really saved on the polygon count!

    2) Love that “filibuster” style gameplay. I mean, who doesn’t love walking around in basically a broken version of The Sims? You can even go to the bathroom!

    3) One of the developers really liked the Resident Evil and Parasite Eve games. He just didn’t like the best parts of those games.

  • Matthew Bass

    System Shock is a great horror series!

  • smaco

    Its just me, or Spoony looks alot like Egoraptor with that hair?… specially when he is laughing on 9:00ish

  • Troy Mcbean

    I know what Dallad Jelly is, it’s one of those “Food Gimmick” that the company in the game is selling, so they are actually selling salad jelly under the name “Dallad Jelly”

  • AJ

    Did no one notice the Hot Drinks song for Spoony’s ring tone at the end? You know, the Wendy’s song?

    That was hilarious.

  • Wendy Yanderekko

    “daladAcronym for: Don’t Act Like A Dumbass” (found on urban dictionnary)

    huh, so it’s like a… Jelly what makes you don’t act like a dumbass anymore?

    Nervermind, I’m totally buying Eternal Darkness, thanks u.u

  • Isaac Banta

    Why the old opening, I wonder?

  • Troy Mcbean

    By the way, what about Slenderman?

  • smaco

    I just need the Hot Drinks ringtone…

  • Kerrus

    Dalad seem to be a very common foreign misspelling of the word ‘salad’- so you were right when you equated it to ‘Salad Jelly’.

  • The S. Geek

    Dreamcast eh? Well, it’s not horror but what about SONIC THE F**KING HEDGEHOG?! You know, the company’s MASCOT?! Since two of the best games in the series were originally FOR the Dreamcast.

    • PeaTearGryfin

      Yeah, most people I knew who owned a Dreamcast owned it for Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. Almost none of my friends gave a crap about Soul Caliber.

      • LeeEnfield

        Maaaaaan, nobody remembers Skies of Arcadia….

    • Thomas Wrobel

      “best games for the series” were all 2D, by a huge margin. Just because Heroes onwards makes Adventure look like gold doesn’t mean it is.

  • LeeEnfield

    Awww, no love for The Suffering in the best horror games list? Weak! It’s at -least- better than Phantasmagoria 2!

  • jomb234

    I had that EXACT same reaction to the start menu splat too, though I didn’t get very far as when I checked the Options menu first, I found it had 3 different camera options… I picked “see what the character sees” or whatever it was… put the game in first person, and is completely unplayable that way. ><

  • Stephin Williams

    ZERO SECONDS! A new record! Woooooo!

  • Kendotuxedo

    It actually says Salad Jelly to anybody who didn’t get that.
    The “S” is just drawn badly like the number “5”

  • Bruce Kilkowski

    Spoony, you forgot Fatal Frame.

  • Ryan Young

    Spoony, I’m gonna honestly thank you right now. I moved to college a little over a month ago, and the transition has been pretty difficult for me. My classes are pretty hard, I’m tired a lot, and I’m pretty lonely. I know it’s only the first quarter and I know it’s gonna get better, but for right now it’s tough. But the one thing that has really helped keeping me going has been coming to this site and finding new videos up. Seriously: finding that you’ve updated your site is like freakin Christmas morning. So thanks a lot for making mine (and everyone else’s) days just that much better.

    • Octo Seven

      Go outside more, get a girlfriend.

  • Emil Petrunov

    That was a very entertaining review.




  • Nathaniel Watkins

    You know…Noah and Doug have a similar problem of drawing jokes out too long, but for some reason, I find it hilarious when Spoony does it, and I find Doug’s grating. I think it’s because Spoony prolongs his jokes by attacking them from different angles, whereas Doug just keeps pounding the same thing over and over in a “GET IT?!” sort of way.

    • John Barton Haslach

      I myself feel the opposite. My least favorite is from the Lords of Magick review when he went off in another direction. But that is just me.

    • likalaruku

      I never really thought about it, but they DO do that. I now know why Josh Hadley doesn’t like Doug or Spoony’s comedy stylings; Family Guy does that & it drives him nuts. It all makes sense now.

    • Octo Seven

      The quality of his (Spoony’s) jokes and videos have declined to the point where I will probably stop visiting the site. I found this video a chore to get through, full of bullshit non-statements and unfunny jokes.

      • Chris Morales

        Then stop visiting the site already. No one’s going to miss your borderline obsessive posting in the comment sections, where all you do is bitch and moan and insult the people who enjoy Spoony’s videos. Please, do leave.

        • ChrisNagy

          I agree with him, quite frankly. Theres no reason this video needed 5 minutes of unrelated ranting before we even got to the game. Then drag it out further with the ‘splat’ sound effect, the rotting hand, and the painfully long Dalad theory.

          Its blind fans like you that are so afraid of criticizing your hero, that are doing nothing but contributing to his stagnating quality. I had literally forgotten the last time spoony reviewed a video game. I had to check. It was Ultima back in early August. This video makes me miss the days of make my video, phantasmagoria 2, Power rangers, Thing, where it was less ‘glory to the spoony one’ fanboyism

          Y’know, back when spoony LIKED the bad dialogue/acting of Resident Evil. Not every piddly detail of a game needs to be examined under a microscope. Who cares why the mysterious figure asks you to check the upstairs area when you could be complaining that the game didnt let you go up the stairs without asking permission first.

          • Matt Hayden

            Is it fanboyism when those of us who still enjoy the videos enjoy them? That makes us “blind”? Call me blind I guess because Spoony’s videos still entertain me and I don’t take them as seriously as you do. And really, 2 months between video game reviews is too much for your memory to handle? Do you know how long it takes to record footage and edit a video?

          • sprode

            But I like when Spoony goes into rants on ridiculous minutiae, so I guess I’m not afraid or anything.

            It isn’t exactly going to kill me that he doesn’t jump into the game and the most boring and non-unique observation possible. Ooh, you had to advance the story to go upstairs, how revolutionary.

  • David Ribeiro

    That sounds… reminds me of Day of The Tentacle.

  • Randall Bohannan

    The look on her dead bf’s face was exactly how I looked coming out of Battlefield Earth…ugh. Anyone else notice that the shelves in her office are 10 feet up in the air with no easy way to access them??! Finally, maybe its just me, but when your boss in the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL(!) tells you on your first day that everyone in the building is under quarantine, you can be reasonably sure you’re FUCKED; just saying…

  • Fiddlewheel

    Ooh, you know you are in for a good scare when the first thing you hear is “Splat!”

  • Mitchell Lord

    Okay! I finally found it! Dalad Jelly…is what happens when someone mistypes Salad Jelly. THe D is right next to the S on the keyboard. So, yeah. Definite typo. (And I honestly STILL can’t tell that it’s a d!)

    • Daniel McGregor

      I couldn’t agree more. The mistery of the Dalad Jelly is solved. :D

  • Andreas Zerndl

    Speaking of horror games: I liked the atmosphere of Alan Wake (minus the repetitive Action Scenes)

  • Nataly Mitrovic

    They put Sadako on hold…Would have loved to hear that phone call – “Seven dayssss…” – “One moment please, I’ll put you on hold.” And them – Greensleaves FOR HOURS.

  • Okanehira


  • zanmaru

    The Dreamcast certainly died before it’s time, but I’d argue that the PS2 is a much stronger contender for “best console ever.”

    • Chris Horobin

      More like it has the best library of games out of any console, the console i’ve had the most fun with is the Gamecube, and since I measure the greatness of a onsole with how much fun I’m having, Gamecube wins hands down.

  • Aaron Dean Bilbrey

    u (dalad) jelly?

  • Bryan Clark

    Now Spoony…Shenmue does have its flaws, but you no make fun of my DC baby.

  • Jonathan Andersson

    What made me laugh was that goofy smile on Meg’s face that stays like that throughout the whole thing when it’s not a pre-rendered cutscene.

    • Charred Newt

      It kind of creeps me out, she looks like a human-sized doll with that unmoving, soulless grin.

  • Godot123

    You should check out 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors for the DS. It is a brilliant adventure game that is similar to the concept of The Cube or Saw. Glad you liked Eternal Darkness.

  • Joe England

    Aw. I miss the Andrew Dickman intro. That was slick.

  • RaveGarden

    Nice to see you back. Really like your review. I’m pretty sure that Salad with a fancy S but the pic is so low quality that it looks like a D. Kinda like this

  • Goluboy Pidor

    ah, classic spoony. Showing his complete ignorance to any game and lack of any taste. Good times.

    • nuclearaptor


    • Will_Z_Macht

      Big Trapper Keeper fan, eh?

    • LotusPrince

      Dude, you’re supposed to comment on a video AFTER watching it. You should know how this works by now.

  • Matt Monroe

    At least the graphics look decent.

  • XedAlpha

    *squints* Sure that doesn’t just say Desert and Jelly underneath?
    Loving the review thus far though.

  • Paul Turner

    I think he’s using the old intro cause that animator guy who wasn’t very good at pathfinder didn’t want to work with Spoony after twittergate. Aside from that, You okay lady?

  • Rothide

    The Stalker Series were pretty scary to, while yeah, the mercenaries/stalkers/bandits, the blind dogs, pseudodogs, boars and fleshes aren’t that scary, wait till you meet the Bloodsuckers, Snorks, Controlers, and Pseudogiants… that crap gets scary quick

  • Daniel Valentin

    Actually, Spoony, radios ARE used by the Center For Disease Control. If there were an outbreak or quarantine in effect, the CDC would need to communicate with agents in the field and coordinate efforts with other agencies, such as FEMA or the National Guard. So yeah, a radio inside a CDC center is actually feasible.

    • Will_Z_Macht

      Do they make splat noises when you use them to save your game, though?

      • Steven Johnson

        Only the older models. The newer ones make an “AAAOOOGAWWW” noise.

  • Guido Palombi

    Good job, sir.
    By the way i really want that T-shirt now, where do you find those ?

  • Jeremy Alva

    That’s YOUR opinion and it certainly doesn’t speak for everyone, least of all me. I thought his extended bouts of nitpicking were hilarious, as I’m sure many others did.

    And Spoony, from one long-haired dude to another, I have to say…I approve!

    • TxCForever

      Of course it’s my opinion, didn’t say otherwise mate.

  • Nick Ohmann

    dalad jelly is a typo, d is next to s on the keyboard so logically thats the only thing i can think of. Wouldn’t surprise me with that nice mustard bottle sound on the title screen. And the resident evil remake was good, never played the original ya….. Or in the wake of re6 ya…….. Overall, this was very very funny, btw “you okay?”

  • Zzsz

    I’m not a snob but The Dreamcast is very good if you know which games to get. Jet Set Radio is a legend in its own right, Evil Twin is one of the best platformers I have ever played, Skies of Arcadia is widely regarded as one of the best RPGs ever made, Toy Commander is a lot of fun, Sonic Adventure 1 and 2 are great despite the Knuckles levels, Rez will melt your eyes with awesome, and I have never met anyone who didn’t like Space Channel 5 or Chu Chu Rocket. That isn’t all either, there is plenty of other stuff to play.

    Plus it has one of the best light guns ever made so it is the best thing to play House of the Dead on.

  • Fergus Macpherson

    surprised you didn’t mention Project Zero (aka Fatal Frame) Its prob the scariest game I have ever played.

    • trololololololol

      I was wondering why he didnt mention it. I remember playing these games and they were pretty damn spooky, i remember being anxious just to go into a new room since some spoooky ghost might come out and scare me

  • Robbie DeArras

    To the best of my understanding, the reason Eternal Darkness never got a sequel was a mix of internal debate at Silicon Knights on which direction to go, combined with Nintendo copyrighting the interface screw mechanics the game used, making licencing them too expensive to actually make a sequel viable. If you ever wondered why no one tried something like that since…it’s because Ninteno said ‘this is OUR idea and you cannot use it without paying us!’. But let’s not get started on Copyright Law >_>.

  • doresh

    I’d say Resident Evil can have its moments, but the series ultimately falls flat because the source of all horror is ultimately an evil organization (which should’ve gone bancrupt long before they nuked Racoon City). The ultimate evil are just a bunch of idiots who think they can make a fortune with uncontrollable mutants.

    Silent Hill is great because you can’t really “defeat” the town’s evil. Completely destroying the place won’t help because it has already started affecting people outside the city.

    Umbrella and the other organisations in the RE franchise? Their business practices are full of hilarious mistakes and failures. Each new game has to find another excuse to either keep an organization alive, introduce ANOTHER one (because Umbrella was oh so successful in their bioweapon research), or revive an old one (because it went so well the last time). Doesn’t help that they have to constantly up the ante, as if it wasn’t already completely ridiculous.

    • corey

      seriously how moronic are these guy they see what the viruses they created can do and they go about creating more anyway? of course what I found pretty damn idiotic was the motivation for the guy who ran the company umbrella lets see to quote “wanted to be a god” so let see if I have this right basically the guy created a pharmacy company to cover up the fact was making bioweapons in order to create a new age of humanity to rule over it as its god. pretty fucking stupid when you think about it because there is a good chance that it wont work and that all of humanity will be flesh eating zombies so how would you control them, shit in re 4 Salazars plans made a bit more since seeing as how he at least had control over his creations though kidnapping the presidents daughter I think was an idiotic move, and I would think they would send more then one person to rescue her of all people, leon’s a badass I know but still I think a special forces team would’ve been sent there with him.

      • doresh

        Right, that’s a point I forgot: All these organizations are run by friggin’ lunatics.

        Though to be fair, all those zombies and other mutants were just a byproduct of Umbrella’s Tyrant research – though considering the massive amounts of troubles they ran into (zombie rampages, uncontrollable mutants, highly unstable tyrant prototypes with VERY obvious weakpoints and a hilariously slow walking speed), I don’t think it was worth all the lost labs, billions of dollars and a VERY bad PR. Who cares that they finally have functional Tyrants? No sane person would buy ANYTHING from them anymore.

        Seriously, Umbrella. Just develop lasers or shit.

        • Steven Johnson

          Which is funny because they do in fact have some pretty high-tech handheld weapons in the games developed by Umbrella to defeat particular monsters. I do however disagree. I think the stable variants of the Tyrant were well worth the risks (not the outcomes thereof, but the risks themselves) given just how durable and adaptable the Tyrants are in the field. Seriously, go play Resident Evil 2 scenario B again and watch the Tyrant in action. It fights towards it’s objective relentlessly. Easily tricked? Yes, but refinements would no doubt have improved the monsters intelligence.

          • doresh

            I dunno. Before I trust a not-really-sentient organic melee tank, I’ll hire a squad of dudes with high-tech weapons and probably even power armor. Can’t be more expensive, and the they have the technology (wasn’t there this Tyrant in power armor?).

  • Mehaillien Thundercross

    Ok, 1 day late for an official Halloween review. But you are forgiven;) Welcome back, busy man!

  • Nicholas Honer

    It could be “Dabad Jelly”, although I have no idea what that is either.

  • TogusaRusso

    So, you played a game without memory card in gampad?

  • doresh

    “You okay lady?” – lol, exact same reaction XD

    Damn, Meg has weird lips. Looks like a female joker without lipstick oO

  • Matthew Wenke

    lets see,dalad…. heres what I found
    Icelandic-dent or sag
    German-leave behind
    and somehow,translating from English to English-consignee
    don’t see how any of that helps,but there you go…

    • doresh

      That’s some weird German dialect you’ve been looking up Oo

  • Michael Northington

    Maybe Dalad Jelly is supposed to be Dalek Jelly, in which case this game is about to get awesome.

    • Ana


    • likalaruku

      I knew I wouldn’t be the only one to tell that joke. But it only works f they get Dr. Who in Japan.

  • Merost

    Come on the “Dalad Jelly” thing is obvious. Look on your keyboard, the “D” is right next to the “S”. The guy who wrote it just misspelled it.

  • Ron MClendon

    you forgot fatal frame the best horror game ever made

  • ScreamingDoom

    Resident Evil didn’t have just jump scares, Spoony. There was a lot of creepy stuff in the early games. For instance, there’s that journal you find of one of the Umbrella employees in Resident Evil 1 which slowly goes through the guy’s disintegrating mental state as he turns into a zombie.

    Two words, “Itchy, tasty”, have never been more horrifying.

    In Resident Evil 3 (I think… it may have been 2) there’s all those little notes around the Police Headquarters that talk about the creepy predilections of the police chief. They talk about how Umbrella basically was feeding the insane, murderous, psychopathic desires of a sadistic rapist because he’d keep the police force under control and Umbrella’s secret.

    Stuff like that was all through the earlier Resident Evil series and were the best parts of them.

    I’m pretty sure that “splorch” sound effect was the same one used in Sim Ant whenever a new source of food appeared on the map.

    • Antti Iisakki Bräysy

      Also there was hunters in Resident Evil 1 and Nemesis in 3. Both enemies were type “fuck this shit, I’m out of here”. Also music is great in Resident Evil series.

  • Grzegorz Wojtczyk

    You want other really good horror game ? Slender. You will shit your pants from fear I guarantee it.

    • Aaron Kerr

      Won’t work, watching LittleKuribo’s Marik Plays: Slender completely destroyed any horror it could have offered. “Hey guuuuys!”

  • Magdalen O’Reilly

    Dalad Jelly: My best guess is that it’s a bad engrish translation of Jello Salad. Jello is a brand, so it’s not really known outside the US, so calling it “jelly” makes the most sense, and then the D is right next to the S on the keyboard- so it’s probably just a typo that got left in. I don’t know, maybe the Japanese programmers thought Jello Salad was a huge thing in America. Or it’s an inside joke about the weird stuff Americans eat. XD

  • jesseastle

    Thank you! Resident Evil sucks. It really does. At best it’s a zombie b-movie with shit controls. And don’t give me that ‘the controls are part of the horror’ crap.

    • Guilty Light

      Going back and playing Resident Evil REmake, I have to admit that I was honestly a bit spooked roaming around the mansion again. The lightning flashes, the victorian look to the mansion, the crimson heads… brrr. Maybe I’m just easily scared lol.

      • jesseastle

        I played a little bit of the remake and I find it more frustrating than scary to be honest.

  • Mr. Gordo

    Very excited for the rest of this. I’ve wanted to see this reviewed for a long time.

  • Jimmy Stratton

    Spoony Excelent work on this video, cant wait for part 2.

  • Evil Otto

    *I* know what dalad jelly is.

    …But I can’t tell you. The truth would drive you mad. And I can’t do that.

  • Blake Mueller

    “How many good scary games can you name off the top of your head”


    FEAR 2: Project Origin

    Alan Wake (plus its DLCs)

    Silent Hill

    Silent Hill 2

    Silent Hill 3

    Call of Cthulhu Dark Corners of the Earth

    I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

    Resident Evil 4

    Dead Space

    Dead Space 2

    Fatal Frame Series

    Amnesia: Dark Descent

    Well that’s all off the top of my head, if I think of any more I’ll be sure to drop back by.

  • Leto_Atreides

    What are those Final Fantasy VI characters sprites behind Spoony? Is it homemade?

  • Rothide

    the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. has moments of both good action and scares. Ever had a pack of Bloodsuckers running toward you, the only thing you see is about 5 sets of glowing eyes until they appear and basically drive by rip at you, running of and going invisible again.

    Also, Pseudogiants, just… Pseudogiants… ::Shudder::

    • Jeanne McX III

      S.T.A.L.K.E.R. doesn’t really count. It can be scary as all fuck but that’s mainly due to its sandboxy nature and whatnot. In truth, it’s more depressing than scary.

      • Das_Bass

        I went into that empty town ( in the first one) having no idea 10 bloodsuckers ripped my face off. I had such a girly scream. What can be scary is that feeling of being all alone in labs full of ghost you can’t kill like lab x-18….fuck that place and fuck that ghost.

  • zhellas

    Condemned: Criminal Origins is another very scary game.

  • Felipe Espinoza

    Thx spoony for making mi recovery in the hospital a lot sweeter. Im eating jelly like is healing jelly!

  • Markus

    You’re wearing a wrist watch. Why does Spoony wear a wrist watch? What have you done with Spoony?

  • Furious Angel

    dalad is a typo error. the d is right next too the S they probably were in such a hurry they didn’t see it. thanks for the review. :)

  • Emperor_Z

    It’s kinda funny coming off of watching Two Best Friends Play Resident Evil and hearing Pat gush over the value of fixed cameras and tank controls, then coming here to Spoony bashing them. I think it would be fun to see those two play or just discuss a Resident Evil game, given how radically different their opinions are on it.

    • Aaron Kerr

      I don’t know if they would, seeing as in their play of Call of Cthulu they refer to him as “Spoony, that guy who went nuts.”

      • Emperor_Z

        He did a little bit :-p

      • Guilty Light

        I don’t think they meant it in a really mean spirited sort of way though.

  • Thrian Bering

    Hey Noah,

    Just out of curiosity, could you post pictures of the “Dalad” thing that you cleaned up in photoshop? I’d like to take a look at them myself, because from this video it REALLY looks like a distorted font trying to spell “Salad”

  • CornBRED-X

    I had a laptop in the early 90s that had a floppy drive Spoony. It was actually common at one time. Some people even got external drives =P

    If that is a D there I would guess it’s a typo as D is next to S on the keyboard. Only good explanation I can think of. Even if it does mean Salad Jelly, though, was it or has it ever been common to find in a work place or place with a cafeteria anywhere?

    So many important questions raised!

    Great episode btw =)

  • Nathan

    Talking Heads “Nothing But Flowers” for the segue music! Woo Talking Heads!

  • Max Beattie

    Great review spoony, but I think I could come up with a few good horror games if you give me a second…

    Clive Barker’s Undying
    Resident Evil 2
    Silent Hill series (2 & 3)
    Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem
    Cloctower series (Cloctower [PS1], Clock tower [SNES], Clocktower 3)
    Amnesia: the Dark Decent
    I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
    Rule of Rose
    Alone in the Dark series(Alone in the Dark, The New Nightmare, Inferno [PS3 version of ‘08 title])
    Condemned: Criminal Origins
    Haunting Ground
    7th Guest
    Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
    Alan Wake series (Alan wake & Alan Wake’s American Nightmare)
    Curse: the Eye of Isis
    Dracula series (Resurrection, Lost Sanctuary & the Path of the Dragon)
    Cold Fear
    Blood series (Blood & Blood II: the Chosen)
    Cryostasis: Sleep of Reason
    Deadly Premonition
    Dark Seed
    Dark Salvation
    The Suffering
    Michigan: Report From Hell

    • CornBRED-X

      Not to be mean, but several of those games aren’t scary. Have you ever gone back to 7th guest? It’s actually hilarious. The puzzles are still great though- all be it sometimes frustrating.
      You mentioned Ghosthunter, though, which isn’t really scary through out (more often leaning on comedy) but has some great moments and is my favorite PS2 game. So I will give you points for that =)

    • Matt

      Clocktower 3 was SHIT. Those boss battles UGH, what a betrayal that game was. Bunch of limp-wristed Sailor Moon fucking crap. I’ve got your “Judgement” right here…

    • Maria White

      FINALLY! Someone else besides my brother that has heard of the game ObsCure!

      OH MY GOD! This is like… a hellmouth opening up and Cluthlulu walking and and taking a crap in it to fix it! JOY!

      I’ve played that game through and while I did not find it exactly scary, it was creepy. The Slender game only made me jump once when I played it the second time through. The first time I had no idea what was going on, then the second I turned and BAM! Hello Slenderman! Made me jump out of my seat.

      One of the games I actually played and played like a completely and utter pussy was Silent Hill 3. The scene where you are in the tour house with the murders made me panic like no ones business. Then I got desensitized and just played it cause I thought that scene would be something the Joker would do to batman. Make him run through all these murder scenes and junk.

      • Daniel McGregor

        Yeah i remember ObsCure. I found that Game to be a mixed bag. Some elements worked some didn’t. I also remember having issues with the controlles. But that could have been because i was playing on pc. The game had a lot of patches coming out,

  • Scott Woodward

    Fatal Frame 2 still tops my list of horror games.

  • BW

    Amnesia, Penumbra, Silent Hill and…. Hmm What else, um, Dark Corners of the Earth, Eternal Darkness… um… System shock didnt scare me, nor Bio… Dead Space was just shockscares as resident Evil… um… ” Looking trough my 200 games… Oh oh, i liked Nightmare House and Cry of Fear… Still.. Wow thats few, when you think about all the other genres =s

    Oh.. and condemned 1, liked that one

  • goweskycamaronv

    this takes me back to Armake21’s review. =)

  • CBirds


    • Renaissance_nerd

      I think the newer one was on his SD card that died on him.

  •ølstad/100000500139386 Ronny Crag Hack Kjølstad

    Anyone else annoyed with the commercials interrupting the videos? I can handle the ones that start before the video and i get the reason behind them, but having them pop up in the middle of the video is kinda in my way sir.

  • Ongan San

    Someone should play this on an emulator with high resolution. That’s the only way to see the “Dalad Jelly” sign clear.
    Also, Spoony actually likes Resident Evil 4. He said “Resident Evil 4 is good. I liked it and played it to death” in one of his old vlogs. I guess he just doesn’t like the old survival horror ones.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    As much as he says he doesn’t like them… I seriously hope Spoony reviews more survival horror games.

  • J. Philip vanHeijkoop

    love your shirt, it’s even in Cane’s favorite color :)

  • Joe Hammons

    Spoony, you can’t discount an entire series based on its first (very dated) game. As a HUGE fan of the series, Resident Evil has a very cheesy opening and even cheesier voice acting. Everyone knows this. The first game is not scary. Back in 1996, when most people playing a PS1 hadn’t ever seen any better, it might have been, but nowadays, no one thinks it is. In fact, out of the PS1 games, the only one that even approaches being at all scary is the third one, and that’s just because you’re being stalked by what basically amounts to the fucking Terminator. Really, the only game in the classic series that is very scary is the remake of the first, for GameCube. Once you’ve played that, come back. Then I might take what you say about the series seriously.

    As for all of them since 4, they don’t count. Only 4 even tried to be scary and it wasn’t.

    • jesseastle

      Honestly I think it has more to do with the inability of people to look at these games objectively and their tendency to make excuses for its short comings.

      • Joe Hammons

        I think you could be right. It’s far too easy to make fun of the cheese in the games. Most people have only ever seen parts of the original and the ones after 4, anyway.

    • Atmos_Duality

      Honestly, I think RE4 was the only one that tried to be GOOD.
      Scary? You can’t make RE scary. But you can make it campy and over-the-top.

      • Joe Hammons

        Spoken like someone who’s never played the good ones.

        • Atmos_Duality

          And which ones would those be?
          Because it certainly aint 1 2 or 3. I tried those, and those were not scary in the slightest.

          • Joe Hammons

            And you didn’t read my comment that said those games aren’t scary nowadays. Obviously you can’t pay attention enough to enjoy them either way.

          • Atmos_Duality

            *sigh* I did, and agreed to that point. It’s right there, three posts above.
            I’ll reword it if it helps.

            But I personally never found anything in the RE series that approached “good” outside of maybe 4. Not even when the series was new.

          • Joe Hammons

            Then you don’t like that kind of game. That’s fine. No reason to berate it.

          • Atmos_Duality

            It wasn’t the genre so much as it was the way in which it was presented in the earlier RE games. I actually have liked games similar to these (even those not strictly in “survival horror” like Parasite Eve).

            I just don’t get how people were ever legitimately scared of the RE games, or labeled them as GOOD horror games. Popular, yes, but popularity does not equate to quality.

            Friendly advice: If you’re incapable of handling dissenting opinion, I suggest you stay off the internet or lurk. Douchebaggery as endless as the horizon.

          • Joe Hammons

            Before Resident Evil there wasn’t really survival horror, unless it was Alone in the Dark, which anyone will tell you plays a lot worse than Resident Evil. Resident Evil coined the phrase “Survival Horror” and anything that doesn’t have distinct elements of Resident Evil’s gameplay is not a survival horror game, it’s just a horror game. I was referring to survival horror. Not horror in general.

            Doesn’t matter if there’s a bunch of assholes on the internet, you shouldn’t tell me to get off the internet if I tell one of them there’s no reason to call something a bad game just because they’re not fond of its genre. I don’t like FPS games, but I have a million other concrete reasons to say Call of Duty sucks. That’s a backed up argument. You haven’t provided any. And I really don’t care to see you do so, because it really doesn’t fucking matter.

          • Atmos_Duality

            “Doesn’t matter if there’s a bunch of assholes on the internet, you
            shouldn’t tell me to get off the internet if I tell one of them there’s
            no reason to call something a bad game just because they’re not fond of
            its genre..”

            I’m using the suggestive tone here, not the imperative.

            I suggest you learn to distinguish between them.
            Not trying to be condescending here; it’s one of the few methods of projecting a neutral tone across text and lots of people tend to miss it.

            ” I don’t like FPS games, but I have a million other concrete reasons to
            say Call of Duty sucks. That’s a backed up argument.”

            Actually, until you provide those reasons and actually MAKE that argument, it’s every bit the nothing you claim I have. There’s a difference between implying something exists, and that same thing actually existing.

            Besides, I don’t need an argument, unless you’re going to tell me how objectively wrong my own opinion is.

          • Joe Hammons

            “Actually, until you provide those reasons and actually MAKE that argument, it’s every bit the nothing you claim I have.”

            I could, but this isn’t about Call of Duty. So I’m not going to.

          • Atmos_Duality

            “I was referring to survival horror. Not horror in general.”


            ” I don’t like FPS games, but I have a million other concrete reasons to
            say Call of Duty sucks. That’s a backed up argument.”

            Actually it isn’t, because you haven’t made such an argument yet; you’re merely alluding to a potential argument.

            “You haven’t provided any. And I really don’t care to see you do so, because it
            really doesn’t fucking matter.”

            So you lecture me about not providing an argument, then you say it doesn’t matter. Well, this has devolved to the point of nonsense.

          • Joe Hammons


            No. It’s not. They’re different genres.

            “Actually it isn’t, because you haven’t made such an argument yet; you’re merely alluding to a potential argument.”


            “So you lecture me about not providing an argument, then you say it doesn’t matter.”

            Because I’m tired of your condescending bullshit. Good day, sir.

          • Atmos_Duality

            “No. It’s not. They’re different genres.”

            Guess I’ll just have to take you at your word there.


            OK, so now your argument is:

            ‘Well, I COULD make that argument, and this would prove my point…but I’m not going to because…I don’t feel like it. YOU’RE STILL WRONG THOUGH.’

            How could I possibly refute such airtight logic?

            “Because I’m tired of your condescending bullshit. Good day, sir.”

            Pointing out broken logic is not condescension. If you want to contradict yourself again, feel free to, but don’t expect me to buy it.

          • Joe Hammons

            Look, do you WANT this to be about Call of Duty? Because it’s not. That’s why I’m not going there. There is no reason for me to. And by the way, you don’t think that “How could I possibly refute such airtight logic?” isn’t condescending bullshit? Because it is.

          • Atmos_Duality

            “Look, do you WANT this to be about Call of Duty? Because it’s not. That’s why I’m not going there. There is no reason for me to.”

            How do I spell this out for you…


            I don’t give a fuck about Call of Duty. I don’t give a fuck about your opinion about Call of Duty. But do not try to say that you’re logically in the right here because of a potential strawman argument you can make about Call of Duty.

            “And by the way, you don’t think that “How could I possibly refute such
            airtight logic?” isn’t condescending bullshit? Because it is.”

            Yes, that was condescending.

            Though the first time, when I suggested you stay off the internet; that wasn’t intended as being condescending; I was trying to point out how defensive you were getting over a simple opinion. If you interpret that as condescension…well, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

            You don’t want me to berate the RE games? Tough.
            I have every bit the right to dislike the games as you have to like them.

          • Atmos_Duality

            Well, my point went right over your head if you think I actually give a toss about your opinion on Call of Duty.

            I’ll put it this way: Claiming I have no argument, when you have the same is meaningless. Looking at it more closely, it doesn’t even matter anyway.

            I don’t need an argument; my original point was an opinion. You disagree with it.

            Simple as.

            I *will* berate the RE series if I feel like it.

            I have as much right to dislike those games as you have to like them, after all.

            “And by the way, you don’t think that “How could I possibly refute such
            airtight logic?” isn’t condescending bullshit? Because it is.”

            You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
            What I used is a combination of rhetorical question and sarcasm. Neither of which are new, nor implicitly condescending.

    • Thomas Wrobel

      Alone in the Dark …the very original one…is still scary. Mostly due to the excellent use of sound and music. The gameplay is dated as hell mind you, but still scary.

      • Joe Hammons

        I agree. It’s kind of hard to look past its graphics, and honestly I think part of the scares is just because of its terrible controls, but sound design and music goes a long way. I think the original RE succeeded in that respect, but the cheesiness outweighed it.

  • Timo Takalo

    Nocturne (not the Shin Megami Tensei series) and the first Blair Witch game are good. Made by the same people, incidentially.

    • Guilty Light

      God the gargoyle things on what I think was the first level spooked the hell out of me in Nocturne. It also came with a small candle in a decorated glass. I still use it as my favorite shotglass once I cleaned it all out.

    • Herbert West

      Yeah, the Nocturne Engine was great; it provided such a creepy atmosphere . It was also used to great effect in Bloodrayne, which although not as scary as Nocturne and Blair Witch 1, did have some nice monsters.

  • Ferenc Kovacs

    thank you for mentioning “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream”, I tried to find that novel for a while now, and I just couldn’t remember it’s name.

  • John Barton Haslach

    I myself wouldn’t call the RE series scary. Personally, I have not played any of the games you listed, but one of my favorites is Dead Space. If you yourself don’t like it, fine. I personally find it scary. The atmosphere, or literal lack of atmosphere, was well applied and I liked how even though Isaac Clarke didn’t talk at all in the first one, you could tell that his psyche was getting bombarded left and right having to fight against these horrific abominations with nothing but actual tools. Coming across all the horrific fates of the crew of the Ishimura and being betrayed by someone whom he thought was a friend and given false hope about his girlfriend being alive. Plus, I loved how they did the space bits. But that is just me and my own personal preference.

  • The Incomparible Mevi

    I wouldn’t say that Dreamcast was the greatest system ever, but for the time, it was a solid machine. I do remember how much everyone told me I HAD to play Shenmue, though. I got about an hour into that game before I got so bored I just stopped completely. Haven’t touched it since. My game of choice on the Dreamcast was Skies of Arcadia.

    • Guilty Light

      Dreamcast brought me a ton of fun too. It had the best fighting game ports (Street Fighter III 2 and 3, Tech Romancer, Soul Calibur, Marvel vs Capcom 2, etc), one of the House of the Dead games, Crazy Taxi, Grandia II, Skies of Arcadia, and above all the rest Phantasy Star Online. And probably a dozen others I’m forgetting. It also had by far the best “games that normally wouldn’t get translated and released stateside” libraries of all time.

    • Daniel McGregor

      The Dreamcast did come up with some elements that are still in use today. It was the first console to enable online gaming. The controllers layout is similar to that of the x box that came out 3 years later.

  • Shawn Cobeen

    I’m wondering, would Parasite Eve be considered a horror game? I mean, sure, it’s an action RPG that relies more on the story than the gameplay to be good (although the action itself isn’t poorly done.)And it does get bogged down with a lot of science jargon and theoretical genetics. But there’s a lot of decent body and creature horror throughout.

  • Ivan Dimitrov

    AAaaaaand he is back :D
    I was seriously worried that the funny spoony is dead and buried by that boring know it all nerd, but this is hilarious, can’t wait for the next part!

  • Nicholas J. Michalak

    SWEET shirt, Spoony! “In The Mouth of Madness” is my favorite horror movie!

  • Drain Blut

    Who gives a fuk what Dalad Jelly is? You lingered on that joke too long. Lol at Game typing a huge wall of text about it. Otherwise a great video; I await its next parts.

    Regarding Eternal Darkness, I too would fuk the disc if the little hole in the center wasn’t so small. That game was legendary. In fact it was so good Blutengel(my favorite band) used a line from the game for their 2005 Live Lines Dvd release. If Chris Pohl approves; I approve.

  • Taerlyn Lithanos

    Seriously, Fatal Frame series is better than the Penumbra series. I can be fair, having played both.

    I’m told the early Siren games were actually creepy.

    The Clocktower series has always been really fucking tense, especially if you liked SH4, which kinda felt Clocktowerish thanks to the unkillable baddies.

    You’re really missing out with not playing those. You should go back and give em a try. Review em.
    And while I’ve never played them, the Persona series always seemed vaguely horrorish, or have I been misinterpreting the whole demonic theme?

  • CaptainDingaling

    haha this is greaT!

  • Tim D. Xavier Spiegler

    Nothing quite warms the heart like a Spoony’s laughter

  • Vaughan MacDonald

    Spoony, bro fist. Eternal Darkness was the shit! :D

    • Atmos_Duality

      And then Silicon Knights followed it up with Too Human.
      It’s like some sort of Karmic Balance thing. Eternal Darkness was ten grades of awesome…and Too Human was 10 different grades of shit.

      • Daniel McGregor

        It’s just the kind of thing that happens when a Studio tries to branch out in seperate directions rather than evolving from a concept that’s tried and true.

        • Atmos_Duality

          Allegedly, Too Human started out as a Playstation title, migrated to Gamecube, then sat in a bin for about 6 years until they got it out and rebuilt it for the 360.
          Which would mean it’s arguably as old as Eternal Darkness.

          Either they didn’t have the concept completely ironed out, or they didn’t really care to work on it. Given the end result, I think “tried and true” might have been the better option for them in hindsight, because Too Human has some of the worst controls in recent AAA gaming history.

      • Vaughan MacDonald

        We don’t speak of the dark times >_>

  • DeanoDean

    Super funny review! Best part was the Rick Roll and your reaction to the weird splash sfx. As for Dalad Jelly, I really have no idea… The other categories are just so generic, like ”Drink”, so why is Dalad Jelly so specific? What the heck is it? Must have been some translation mistake…

  • Kris Lindenmuth

    you forgot one other scary game fatal frame 1 and 2 its one of the best scary games i’ve ever played. its really creepy with some jump scares but well deserved. you’ve probably

  • Das_Bass

    Spoony, I live in a part of NY that was ruined from the hurricane. We had no power or heat and it’s been dropping to 45º or lower at night. Life has been hard for a lot of people here. I’ve seen things I won’t forget. We got power back today and I really needed my spirits lifted after the shit we’ve seen. Your videos got me thorough dark times in my life before and they have again. It really helped bring my mood up to watch this tonight and I can’t wait too see what else you’ll be putting out. Keep it up and stay awesome.

  • likalaruku

    ::Happy dance::

    I hear “Condemned 2: Bloodshot” is good, but it has no PC port.

    • Guilty Light

      I was going to add Chaos Wars to that list until you mentioned it. I honestly think that is hands down THE worst voice acting. Ever. For anything. It’s… so unthinkably bad. If anyone’s reading this and don’t know what we’re talking about, search youtube really quickly and look at a clip or two. It makes things like a Jill Sandwich sound like David Hayter.

      • likalaruku

        You can place bets or play a drinking game with Chaos Wars. Last person to laugh gets $30, or every time you laugh, you have to take a shot.

  • alaterale

    Awesome review Spoony! Just got forwarded this by a friend, and I’m not sure since there are no credits but I think the video used here is from my playthrough of the game. I only noticed because of the dancing and such when she’s in the office (that stupid bunnyhop is one of the many ridiculous things it has). I have no problem with that if that’s the case, it would be an honor considering I’m a huge fan of your show :)

    When I did this game a few months back I had heard it was bad, they weren’t kidding. Granted it’s not the worst game I’ve ever played (that is reserved for “games” like Virus: It Is Aware), but it’s pretty bad in parts. Thankfully, the background music actually gets better later in the game. The downstairs lobby (from where you can’t go down) is probably my favorite (if I’m remembering this right at least). The bosses are plain stupid, especially the one right before the end heh

  • Sandro Paz Rodríguez

    You forgot fatal frame that was a good horror series, until the DS version….

  • alaterale

    Awesome review Spoony :) My friend forwarded me this and I not 100% sure but I think the video used here was from my playthrough of the game:

    I have no problem with it if that’s the case, I think it’d be pretty awesome to be featured here. I’m a huge fan of the show and love your reviews :D

    I had heard this was a pretty bad game, one of the worst in existence, but until I played it a few months back, I wasn’t sure if it’s just exagerated. But yeah, it’s bad, and at times very annoying. The bosses are dumb, the flashlight battery thing is cheap, and it didn’t make any sense when it was trying to connect to the movie. The loading times were way too long, the sounds didn’t make much sense, and the music was grating (though there were a couple semi pleasing tracks). Granted though, I’ve played worse games than this (try Virus: It Is Aware…. *shudders*), but not by much.

    Anyway, looking forward to part 2, thanks for having such an awesome show :)

    Also, I have no idea what Dalad Jelly is either haha. I was using S-video to capture the game, so it’s a bit fuzzy. I suppose if I had had my VGA to component converter working at the time I would have used that, but oh well

    (sorry if this was double posted, I wrote something up but since I hadn’t yet verified email I think it deleted the original comment x.x)

    • The Spoony One

      Hey, shoot me an e-mail so I can give you credit. I did use some footage from your LP to supplement my own, but I actually didn’t find it on YouTube. I found it on a public domain video site, and I don’t think there was any identifying information on who made it.

      Now that I think about it, I did a lot of searching for footage from the Ring (mainly for goofy moments like the hopping around, scenes with better lighting or graphics quality, and more takes of the boss battles). But even when I search now I can’t find your LP anywhere.

      • alaterale

        Sure no problem I’ll send that along to you. Yeah I’ve noticed that about my videos on youtube as well. Someone, or some automated service, has consistently been putting my videos on these weird sites I’ve never heard of before. I figured it must have been something they did for all youtube videos, considering I didn’t think people could be that bored heh :p

        When I upload playthroughs to youtube, usually I don’t put them up as Let’s Play this or whatever. Rather I put them up as generic playthroughs of the games (i.e. The Ring Terror’s Realm (DC) Part 06, or whatever). I just focusing on showing the game from start to finish rather than the typical lets play format. I try to cover a lot of games from my collection in my spare time, so if you do ever need any footage let me know and I’d be happy to provide it.

      • alaterale

        Also, I keep all my original raw files so if you want any videos of the ring in better quality, I can send those to you (youtube always messes things up with it’s crummy compression)

  • Adam Welch

    You know, I just had an epiphany. I may have to wait a while for Spoony to post vids, but you know what? I laugh so much harder at his videos than any other reviewer that it is completely worth the wait.

  • Freddy Duran

    is it just me…or does that cop guy sound like coach?

  • GregoriusTheBrown

    Dude, when you started talking about jump scares again, I instinctively braced myself against the back of my chair. You have no idea what you’ve done to me, Spoony.

    • Guilty Light

      Glad I’m not the only one. :P

  • Maul

    S and D are next to each other on the key board. It was probably supposed to be Salad Jelly (even then it should be Jelly Salad but whatever) and they didn’t bother to correct it, because Japan I guess.

  • Petr Matafonov

    I’ve got an old laptop (like superold – it runs on DOS and can’t handle DOOM), it has a floppy drive. And it’s rather compact. Sadly, the drive died few years ago.

    Also, your vids are great, i like your humor and your detached opinion

  • Ville

    Perhaps “Dalad” and “Jelly” are supposed to be separate, just typed on the same sign. Might be far-fetched, but perhaps they really meant to type “Salad”, and instead of “Sauce” they wrote “Jelly” ? Anyway, your guess is as good as mine.

  • CaptainDingaling

    The Dalad/Jelly I think is supposed to be Salad/Jelly for Salad and Deserts. Japanese like to eat Jelly as dessert they have lots of different flavors and varieties.

  • Gemma Kendall

    Dalad= Don’t Act Like A Dumbass

    Jelly= Jelly

    Subtle message by the game producers? Or crappy poor Engwish by translators who don’t double check the end project. Either way Spoony you’re screwed ^^ Happy Halloween!

  • Corey Schaff

    Uhh yeah as soon as you mention the “jumpscares” caveat, a lot of my “horror” choices went out the window. Even though Dead Space is pretty frikken scary even when it’s not jump-scaring you (like the moments where you see a shadow, or something crawling through the ducts), it’s pretty heavy on the jumpscares.

  • amishman

    ok yes Resident evil 1 isn’t scary but 2 and 3 are and not just the jump scares when you first play 3 and see the Nemesis for the first time you run your ass off only to have him hunt you down in the police station and the fact that you beat him countless times and yet he keeps on coming.

    • theshamster

      LOOK OUT, He’s close by!

      • amishman


    • Guilty Light

      Nemesis in RE3
      Regenerators in RE4, esp. if you didn’t find out about the special scope
      Crimson Heads in RE1

      • amishman

        right forgot about those crimsons.

  • Aurini

    Dallad Jelly; I SUSPECT it’s an engrish translation of “tofu”.

    My ex was Chinese, and used to get really angry at me when I called her “jellybean”; turns out she thought I was calling her tofu (it’s a soft bean) which in China is an insult for being stupid. I’m guessing from the surrealism of this game’s graphics that it was programmed in Japan, so that could be your explanation there: actual English speakers translated the dialogue, but the level-design exists in all of its Engrish Grory.

  • Carteeg_Struve

    “Dalad Jelly” is obviously an Engrish translation issue. They clearly meant “Darad Jerry”.

  • theshamster

    Spoony, what did you think of Doom 3? True, it also had jump-scares, but the very idea of demons from hell that have over-run the Mars station and you and a very select few people (who all die anyhow) are left.

    • James Drover

      He already reviewed Doom 3 (spoiler: he did not like it :P)

      • Guilty Light

        I hated Doom 3. … Until I stopped playing it like a pseudo horror game and started playing it like Duke Nukem, just blasting 80s power metal, throwing caution to the wind, and having arguments with my shotgun in the middle of a firefight.

  • Segatron

    Title screen. New game. Splorch!

    That game went goofy faster than Illbleed.

  • TheTechno Wolf

    You okay, Spoony ?

  • MechaVelma

    Dallad Jelly was the name of an obscure Doctor Who villain. Prove me Wrong.

    So you’re not a big fan of the 7th Guest? pity. I felt the doll room when the shadows started moving (and weeping) was one of the more terrifying moments in the gaming history, but you do validate your own list well.

  • Gemakai

    Entertaining review – far as your opinion of good horror games go, I mostly agree (though I do enjoy the classic RE games).

    A few other titles I feel are great horror games are:
    -Call of Cthulu: Dark Corners of the Earth
    -Parasite Eve
    -The Fatal Frame series

    Among the ones you listed already.

    • Guilty Light

      I’d like to add Scratches to that list. Parasite Eve was great fun too. I’m not sure it really counts as a horror game in the normal sense with how the battle system works (you can pause and target at your leisure), BUT I can definitely see how it could qualify as horror.

  • Vladimir Tolpygo

    What’s a Spoony One?

    • Kyle Blackpaw

      your knowledge of the internet shall be great

      • jagarcia0705

        What are dribbring about?
        My friend….THAT’S PALADIN!!

  • IHeart28

    Well, hurricane Sandy really got my house and took my power so I was put with my grandparents for heat and power. I’ve also felt admittedly uncomfortable and depressed about it. Spoony, you really cheered me up. The jabs at the sound effects and voice acting along with what the hell “Dallid Jelly” is made me laugh harder than I had in a while. Thank you spoony, for once again making my life brighter

    Also, love your hair. It’s growing VERY nicely ;)

    • Das_Bass

      I made a comment like dis, but I can’t find it. Stay safe!

      • IHeart28

        Thank you. As of now, my power is back and we’re pretty much ok. Things are looking up. Thank you for your kind words Das_Bass

  • lightice

    I’d like to add Rule of Rose to the genuinely scary games list. Admittedly it has more tragedy than it has horror, but it still gives this sense of deep hopelessness and loss that drove me to play it through several times over, just to get some sense of catharsis in the end. I find it better than any of the Silent Hill games, in spite of its shortcomings in the gameplay itself.

    • Guilty Light

      I honestly can’t say I was ever ‘scared’ during Rule of Rose but it definitely has a persistently creepy and highly unsettling vibe. I also recommend it to anyone who likes that sort of thing.

  • Henry Walsh

    Professional Designer – Programming Experience… Coding an evil supernatural program would have to be done in C#… In fact I am pretty sure I am correct because the XBox uses a C# variant known as XNA… Which means Windows is likely C# based… And since Windows is an evil supernatural program…

  • Guilty Light

    Well. Dalad is the name of a Vietnamese restaurant in Bangkok. Perhaps they have a house specialty jelly that’s all the rage among pseudo gourmets, and the cafeteria cook has been ordering a stock of it to offer as condiments. Maybe that’s all he allows his cafeteria to be stocked with. You know those restaurants where the chef will only put mustard on a burger and NEVER ketchup? I think this is like that, just more extreme. Imported Dalad Jelly is ALL you will ever get for your… beef lo mein?

    Well. I tried my best. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  • Henry Walsh

    Dude… Spoony… You have the “Hot Drinks” song on cell phone… You sir… Are a God among nerds. You rank up there with Lord British himself… Long may we sing the praises of the Spoony one.

  • Marcus Noble

    Yes Sadako is on hold on line one, Jason Vorhees is here to interview for a security staff position on line two, and we have a Freddy Kruger on line three who wants to volunteer for our sleep studies trial.

    • Mick Foley

      Because you’d have plastic flakes everywhere?

  • Luna

    There’s no way to say this without sounding like a complete weeaboo so forgive me if this next paragraph is unnecessarily irritating.

    “Jelly” in Japanese doesn’t mean the toast kind, it usually refers to something similar to jell-o but can be eaten as an appetizer. There’s coffee jelly, green tea jelly, all sorts of ridiculous flavors but no carrots thank god. There’s also a drinkable kind of jelly which feels like Hulk sperm in your mouth that is sold in packets similar to the ones the medical stuff. I assume the sign is supposed to be more along the lines of Salad AND Jelly rather than that nasty salad jell-o shit.

    Also Bimbo’s lines about apologizing for being in shock make total sense in Japanese but the translators were idiots and literally translated the lines into English instead of taking a more liberal translation, which makes her sound like a complete moron. She didn’t really need help with that, but they didn’t help the situation.

  • Freddy Duran

    Although Spoony i think you had a missed opportunity there with the putting the demon on hold…you could have dressed in drag again then just pulled your hair over your face…could have gone something like this:

    *Ring Ring*
    Sadako:7 Days…
    Chris:Excuse me?
    Sadako:Your going to die in 7 days…
    Sadako:Didn’t you play the game?
    Chris:What game?
    Sadako:Who am i speaking to?
    Sadako:Oh oh sorry sorry im looking for Meg, is she around?
    Chris:I think shes in the men’s room let me go get her, can you hold?
    Sadako:Ya sure sorry my mistake, and hey Chris…
    Chris:What is it?
    Sadako:[insert punch line here]

  • Paul Ross

    ‘Best bit of the review, Hot Drinks ring tone. I now can’t stop singing that song.

  • Ryan Fiedler

    Anyone who thinks that Resident Evil boils down to jump scares has never played REmake or Nemesis. REmake is probably the most atmospheric horror game ever made, and Nemesis makes the monsters from Amnesia look like Goombas.

  • Matt

    I remember this game. There were times when it made me forget that it was impossible for a human being to drop dead from boredom.

  • Jesus Angel Garza

    Anyone else remove their headset when Spoony mentioned jump scares?

  • Herbert West

    Horror games that I’ve played that are actually scary…
    Not many, I’m afraid, and I’ve played quite a few.
    Stalker SOC and System Shock 2 comes to mind.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    Resident Evil 1 was a werd point in gaming, we were rapidly phasing out FMV games but we still hd the super cheesy voice acting. In fact Resident Evil 1 was one of the very last games with FMV segments in it.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    “She’s a vapid demure, bimbo who happily makes herself a doormat, repeatedly apologizing to everyone for making them worry and for being sad all the time” … So shes Yuna?

    • Jonathan Andersson

      I was thinking of that moment in Final Fantasy 10 when she apologized for being kidnapped because Tidus and his buddies were a bunch of asshats with messed up priorities when Meg started to do the same routine.

      Maybe it’s a Japanese thing.

      • goodguya

        Or maybe Meg… Is secretly Meg Ryan!

        • Renaissance_nerd

          which is secretly Tidus… *mind blown*

    • Rowan Anderson

      Good point!

  • Darby Bryan-Dye

    I completely agree with your assessment of eternal darkness. It seems like the reason that Silicon knights hasn’t made another game in the eternal darkness universe, is due to the huge flop that was Too Human (only game I’ve ever felt ripped off on). Hopefully someday, someway, we’ll have a worthy successor to Eternal darkness, unless of course the company is afraid of money and success.

  • Ainsley Steve Von Snickerdoodl

    Dalad Jelly? Well the S and the D are right next to each other on the keyboard… I’m guessing it was supposed to be Salad Jelly but they failed to spell check for errors after.

  • Nephilim1977

    Never even knew this existed… Intriguing.
    As for the virtual reality thing.. Looks like they incorporated some of the plot from the 3rd Ring book Loop.

  • Andrew DeCaire

    If you compare this intro to the most recent one, the recent one despite having much better animation, doesn’t have as many shout-outs as this one does. Though I’ll miss the Oreo Cannon. I think Spoony and Andy must have had a disagreement or something, but I don’t think it’s because he left Channel Awesome because Andy was still doing the Guardian animations which took place after he left.

  • Dru Pearce

    My favorite Dreamcast games were Phantasy Star and tony hawk 2 =/

  • Dru Pearce

    The D is next to the S. It’s probably that simple.

  • Isayas Bashiri


  • Thomas Wrobel

    Eternal Darkness rocks! Utterly superb game. Penumbra as well (still gota play the sequals).

    If you like those games Id really also recommend Cryostasis. Has a atmosphere very close to Penumbra, and jumps around in time a bit like ED, only in a more “quantom leap” esq fashion.

    You jump into the bodys of the dead…reliving their last moments to try to save them.
    Only downside is the game is buggy :(

  • maurox89

    The closest I’ve gotten to the DALAD JELLY is this:
    1. In Japanese there’s no R and L sounds, only something in-between
    2. Salad is written as sarada (I’ll spare you the kana)
    3. Now, there’s no “darada”, BUT there’s “dara dara” which is an onomatopoeia for something dripping – like a jelly that’s melting.

    So it could be “dripping jelly”. It’s a long shot, but it’s SOME explanation. -v(^_^)v-
    Also, I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but her apologizing to her superiors for everything is a very Japanese behavior. Especially for O.L.’s, which from what I heard is the most likely position a woman can get in any Japanese corporation.

  • Shauna

    lmao can’t wait for part two :D

  • Andrew DeCaire

    Speaking of “Salad Jelly” my mom makes it every Thanksgiving. Like Spoony I can’t see why anyone could possibly eat that stuff.

  • Gunther Schmidl

    THE DARK EYE is a fantastic horror game.

  • capthavic

    I find it more funny that “Drink” gets it’s own spot, nothing specific like tea or coffee…just “Drink”

  • Joshua Jimenez

    As far as I know, Dalad stands for ‘don’t act like a dumbass’. No idea how you make Jelly out of that though.

  • alaterale

    Hehe, you know another thing that was both horrible and awesome about this game is that by default the main character has a predilection to auto-aim at crotches of monsters when shooting :p

    • Herbert West

      Sounds like a good tactic to me. If I were to be shot repeatedly in the groin, I would back off as well :P

  • alaterale

    Perl is a possibility but Sadako probably coded The [RING] program in Brainfuck to make it even more evil (

  • Rowan Anderson

    Wow….that may be the worst combination of gaming elements I’ve ever seen. Terrible graphics, awful sound effects, stunningly bad and inappropriate music, poorly written characters and script and horrible translation to boot. This is one hell of a find Spoony, how on earth did you even come across this game?

    Still, I think the scariest part of this game is that hilarious squelching sound effect. It’s almost so bad that it transcends being bad. Almost. Also, loved the ‘Hot Drinks’ ring tone, that made me giggle…and want to listen to that song again. It’s so catchy dammit!

    • likalaruku

      No…for 2000, those are pretty good graphics. The landscape is pretty lackluster looking though.

  • Spectr

    Can someone tell me what Spoonys next videos will be?

    I tried to follow Spoonys Twitter, but Im only confused. The past few months he always mentioned Final Fantasy 13, but apparently that is now on ice? Then he talked about a big Halloween project, I guess thats this game review right here…?

    Hes always mentioning 50 different projects it seems, it would really help if he had some sort of public list. Nothing mandatory, but just “Hey thats planned:”. Maybe even with the option on user votes.

    • Renaissance_nerd

      he tried that and the backlash was huge when he coulden’t keep to the schedule… in fact I’m still waiting for his Captain Power review.

  • Stephen Mace

    Oh my GOD I Want that shirt so fucking bad! Where on earth did you get an In the Mouth of Madness T-Shirt that Awesome?

  • Cody Ward

    For me, the whole Resident Evil fandom started as comedy. The horrible acting, the translation, and the attempt to play it straight? Fucking. Hilarious. Of course, the Gamecube remake fixed a lot of the translation error and the like, and was a really fun game for me. I do think that 4 was the best thing that happened to the franchise. There have been some really fucking tense moments in 4-6. Admittedly, 6 is a bit weak on the suspense thing, but seriously. Trying to barricade yourself in a tiny cottage hut or something while a fucking Frankenstein-style mob is trying to knock down your door with torches and pitchforks? Now that is some scary shit. Especially when one window gets breeched and you don’t notice. All of a sudden, out of fucking nowhere, sickle to the back of the head. As for the story? Say what you will, but I enjoyed the story for the games – especially 4-6, with 5 actually being my favorite. Yes yes, I know, blasphemer and such. But yeah. That’s just me. Also, you should check out Omikron (if for nothing other than the Bowie intro theme) and Makken X. Two very underrated games for the Dreamcast, imo.

    • corey

      I honestly agree that 4 is the best of the series mainly because for one thing has a good horror element to it considering you are no longer crazy about whats in front of you or off camera rather then you are agitated about the person that coming behind you while you are trying to kill that leatherface wannabe who is hard to kill with just your pistol,(as well as those regeneraters god those were creepy) I also like 5 but agree that it has its share of problems with the exception of sheva mainly because she helps you fight unlike the presidents daughter who you would think would help out by well maybe throwing things at the las plagas infected cult members and not just opening doors and pulling levers.

      • Cody Ward

        Yeah 4 had some great moments, but Sheva was really the saving grace of 5. Especially when you had to go down separate paths. Like Spoony said in the Paranormal 4 review, scary isn’t something popping out at you, scary is when it doesn’t. As such, when you and your partner are forced to split up, all you see is what you’re doing and maybe an obstructed view of your partner. You don’t know what’s around their corner, but know if one dies, you’re both screwed. But, as for suspense thrills, the Reapers really took the cake in 5. I can’t tell you how many times my friend and I would spot a Reaper pod, and just spend a few minutes looking up debating who was going first. And every time, we’d be inching by, holding our breaths, clenching our teeth and every muscle and… nothing. No reaper. And while we let our guards down from one, another one pops out of a wall and takes us completely by surprise.

        Fucking awesome. I will say that I kind of like the tonal shift in 6 though. It combines the best of suspense in places as well as adding that frantic element that really gets the adrenaline pumping. Ever since fighting Tyrant in the original, I’ve always equated RE more with a combination of suspense and Godzilla-esque thrill. And yeah, the T-Rex you fought in 6 was a little corny, but it wasn’t out of place, and a damn fun boss to fight if you ask me. :D

  • Connor A. McAllister

    “What language would you code a supernatural program in??”

    Python. You can do ANYTHING with Python!!

    import demons
    import curse

    • Peter Vanusanik

      Python is lisp for noobs.

      (defmacro curse (person days &body body)
      `(curse-me ,person ,days (lambda (cursed) ,@body)))

      (defun curse-me (who wait delayed)
      (loop for x in wait do (sleep 1))
      (funcall #’delayed who))

  • Zipper Dragon

    Silent hill, House of the Dead, Parasite eve, Dino crisis, Dead space, Dead rising (Shut up, its supposed to be both scary & funny, like evil dead) F.E.A.R. There, I just named you off 5 more horror games/series

    • Zipper Dragon

      2X post My bad

  • Zipper Dragon

    Silent hill, Fatal Frame, Sonic the Headgehog (2006), House of the Dead, Parasite eve, Dino crisis, Dead space, Dead rising, (Shut up, its supposed to be both scary & funny, like evil dead) F.E.A.R. There, I just named you off like 5 more horror games/series

    • Mitchell Bandes

      9 is equal to 5.

      • Zipper Dragon

        XD you caught the joke

  • Cole Christie

    “why did people like resident evil ?”
    um . . . ask phelous

  • Specter Von Baren

    Ironically my favorite part was Spoony realizing he’s started review Trapper Keepers.

    • likalaruku

      A full Trapper Keeper review would make a good April Fools episode. Watching Spoony get all bent out of shape over school supplies.

      • Renaissance_nerd

        Trapper keepers were banned in my school so I never experienced the horror

  • Groverfield


    (Still probably scarier than the game)

    There’s a bullet-hell game I remember being hard as tits, but fun as hell for the Dreamcast, as well as there was Powerstone 2

    Probably the best review of yours yet.

    I wonder how many people remember when floppy discs were actually floppy (5 1/4″)

    Also, if you’re going to go back to this era, you might want to look at Enemy Zero, it’s up there with Pumpkinhead.

  • Angeeel

    Spoony is back! :-D This review reminds me of Spoony’s old material, back when he wasn’t just funny, but right out hilarious! Oh, ’tis a good day! :-D

  • midnight tea

    It might have actually been intended to be “Salad, Jelly” – as in, two separate side dishes available in the cafeteria aside from main courses… only someone had seriously messed up after typing this up and therefore created a completely new quisine :D

  • level_control

    I love old resident evil rip offs. I’d probably enjoy the fuck out of this one

    If only this had been a blind ‘lets play’ instead of a review. Such a missed opportunity

  • lovetoeatallthefood

    Sucked through her laptop… that’s, uh, what she said…?

    And yeah, laptops did have diskette drives. I even had an old NEC beast that had two floppy drives (possibly because it had no hard drive).

    • alaterale

      In the late 90s I remember I had a Brother word processor laptop thingy that had a floppy drive. Pretty much everything had floppy drives then. I was pretty amazed when CD burning drives came out and I had to have such amazing technology haha.

  • Lennetambi Shuyin

    CLONE, clone

  • Yomommmmma

    Old spoony would slap this spoony in the face.

    • Redblaze27

      This legitimately feels like the old Spoony, at least 90% of the time.

  • theshamster

    I found a walkthrough on gamefaqs, and it appears that several of the dialouges are engrished.

    For example, you speak to the security guard (the one you found in the toilets) and this is what he says.

    LUCKINO : “You know that you are heavy ?”
    MEG : “What ?”
    LUCKINO : “I bring you to Timothei’s room.”
    MEG : “I suppose i must thank you ?”
    LUCKINO : “Have i say that ? You must exit now.”
    MEG : “That guy has nothing human, but he could be useful.”
    Come on! Nobody talks like that.

  • Redblaze27

    Awesome, you’ve made a full return to your older style of reviewing!

    genuine feeling and being more about poking fun at the game in a
    lighthearted manner at a game i’ve never heard about for good reason.

  • Redblaze27

    Awesome, you’ve made a full return to your older style of reviewing!

    genuine feeling and being more about poking fun at the game in a
    lighthearted manner at a game i’ve never heard about for good reason.

  • Eric Sullivan

    I personally enjoy the Resident Evil games and have a lot of fun with them. I still play them every now and again, actually. The controls have never bothered me either. They always just clicked with me. But, yeah, I’ll agree the games were never scary. They always leaned more towards action/horror anyway, even in the early games. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying them, though.

    On a side note, Eternal Darkness is an awesome game.

  • Tomas Krystinik

    Wow. I did an actual spit take the first time the splat noise played. This game is unintentional comedy gold. And I agree, the voice clip of the cop needs to be a meme. There’s infinite potential.

  • fardmuhammad

    Might I add one more item to the list of horror games- Alien vs. Predator for the Atari Jaguar. Now before I get a lot of Jagbashing thrown at me, let me explain. AvP did lack in a lot of things- music, smooth framerate, actual 3D graphics… but the lacks in those attributes were more than compensated in atmosphere. The lack of music really drew you in to the bleak settings and made you pay attention to the sounds of the game- the Predator taunting you… the Marine shooting at you… or if you were very unlucky, an Alien attacking you from the back. The game still gives me the willies. The Jaguar had a lot of crud games, to be sure (Spoony’s review of Highlander definitely demonstated that). But AvP really stood out as one of the better ones- along with Tempest 2000, Iron Soldier, and BattleSphere.

    • alaterale

      I have AvP for my jaguar too, great game :) Sure there were a lot of not so great titles, but at the same time it had some real gems to it too. Too bad I’ll never be able to actually try out Battlesphere (though that genre isn’t usually my favorite). I think the version of Doom for the Jag was pretty good too

      • fardmuhammad

        I have three BattleSpheres actually. It’s a very fun game- especially when playing head-to-head against someone in a network game.

  • Ben Brooks

    I’d code it in brainfuck, its a legit language look it up

  • Waffle

    Only thing I can think of that’s even close to “Dalad Jelly” is “Dalat Jelly” or…to be more specific “Da Lat JELLIES”…a vietnamese candy.

  • Jared Michael Anjewierden

    I personally like the Resident Evil franchise, though it really helps that I started with 2 and Code Veronica, not actually playing 1 till I bought a Game Cube this year. Of course, what I actually bought the Game Cube for was Eternal Darkness. (Thank you Spoony for bringing it to my attention) That said I have to recognize a few things to enjoy RE. 1) The bad guys are married to the idiot ball and are Stupid Evil rather than the Chaotic Evil they were meant to be. 2) Don’t expect it to make sense. 3) While it has some great scary and creepy moments (Leon’s campaign in RE6 being a good example) it is an action series with horror elements, not a horror series with action elements.

  • Chip Salzenberg

    Perl?! Perl is the language of creation! If you want to suck out someone’s soul, Java would be the best choice. Especially if you make them code in it.

  • Gabriel Langevin

    The alien movie was boring, but all the people I know love it, thank you for sharing my opinion about people being easily entertain by bad movie. Good video as always :P

  • Remi Levesque

    Well, I don’t know about putting on hold a rage spirit, but it worked with the electric gremlin in Gremlins 2!

  • Adam Doran

    what about powerstone for dreamcast that was a good game.

  • J. Paul

    Okay, here is my theory, it may be a little far-fetched, but it may be as good as any other. Depending on the exact pronounciation, you could transcribe “Dalad” into japanese as either: だらど, which would read “Darado”, finishing the word with a voiced “to”, or if you pronounce it with a hard ending, it could go as だらと / ダラト, which reads “Darato”. As there is no real standardization for many foreign words (the stuff written in Katakana, and while there’s certainly a way most people would write it, they are only suggestions. E.g., the western Name “Carl” can both be transcribed as “Kaaru” and “Karuru”, with the former being the more common type, but it is not “wrong” per se to do the latter), you could go with Darato. And ダラト is the japanese name of the Vietnamese city of “Da-Lat”. And, believe it or not, the markets of Da-Lat have a very high reputation of being “The Kingdom of Jelly/Jam in Vietnam” due to the western influence in the past. So, in a weird way, it could actually mean: Jelly from Da-Lat. After all, Japan does in fact import alot of its food from foreign countries, and it is also not uncommon that its import origin doesn’t neccessarily equal its cultural origin. E.g.: What we eat as “Curry” is called “Kari/Kare” in Japan, which is usually prepared with the “british” curry-spice/seasoning mix invented during the collonial era, mainly in a roux, served with rice, and it is actually considered a western/european dish, even though “Curry” does not come from Europe. The Japanese are a little strange in this regard, but hey, it makes my theory all the more plausible.

    • Jeanne McX III

      … That makes too much sense.

  • Lettore Taurii

    This is out of faint memory i think i’ve seen somewhere a picture or something of a laptop with a floppy unit. Otherwise funny video it made my day. :D

  • Bernardo Fabrica

    Clock Tower is not in your top ten? dafuq?!!

    • alaterale

      As cheesy as they are, the Clock Tower games are great ^^ Especially the first american one (technically Clock tower 2), whenever you heard that music you knew you were in trouble hehe

  • Stacy Galler

    Man, so much to say about this video….I’ve seen it three times; I enjoyed it so much!

    First, Spoonyman, you gotta fix that midroll ad thing. It appeared in three different places the three times I watched it, one time cutting you off midword. I don’t mind having a midroll add, but put it in a place that makes sense, please. That spot you fade to black before bringing the music back in would have awesome.

    Dammit! Now I have “Never Gonna Give You Up” stuck in my head!

    And, as you mentioned, Salad Jelly is an actual thing; it’s called an Aspic. Not very popular any more, but was a big thing during the 50s and 60s (no, I’m not that old; I just like to read old cookbooks). The gelatin was either flavorless or a complementary flavor like celery; it wasn’t sweet. It was really more about the vegetables than the Jell-O (which you could get in celery flavor just for this purpose); the Jell-O was just there to hold everything together. I’ve had it once or twice; it’s really kind of gross actually…

    Now, Dalad Jelly….I have no idea.

    Okay…on to the shameless praise!

    I probably say this every time I leave a comment, but I really mean it this time: this is the best review you’ve done in a long time! It was enjoyable, it was funny as hell, and it looked like you were having a great time! I think because this is (a two-part) one-shot and you weren’t worried about trying to create any kind of arc or anything, you just rolled with it, and it was AWESOME! It was a little all over the map, but ya know what, it worked. And it is so great to see you smiling and laughing (you’re quite attractive when you do that ;-) Your recent reviews have been angry and profanity filled, and while those are entertaining in their way, this just felt like a good time, and left me laughing and smiling. :-)

    And the hair….while I still advocate getting it cut, I have to grudgingly admit, it looks pretty good at the length it is. I can just imagine you as the Avatar, standing on a hill, your hair blowing in the wind and…whoo…did it just get hot in here?

  • J.G. te Molder

    The D and S are right next to each other on the keyboard; I’m pretty sure this was a non-blind-typing idiot, pushing the wrong key.

  • LotusPrince

    Oh god, a friend I tried this game out a few months ago. We thought that the music actually sounded pretty good, until we realized that the track is relatively short, and it loops fucking FOREVER.

    • alaterale

      Some of the later tracks (you can hear it in the background when in the cafeteria for example) are actually not too bad and pleasant to listen to looping. It’s that first one though that annoys everyone, it’s terrible to just all of a sudden blast it like that too

      • LotusPrince

        That’s fair enough. I’ve only heard that first track, as we were just testing the game. There was no way we were going to beat it in one night. Also, yeah, suddenly blasting it is quite jarring.

  • Nick Potter

    I just noticed that Persona 4 is on your Good Games shelf.

    This pleases me.

  • Michael De Piazza

    YES! Finally someone else that realizes Resident Evil is/was not survival HORROR. At best it’s been Survival Action with guest appearances of “zombies”.

  • Renaissance_nerd

    Fatal Frame by far the scariest horror game. 2nd place definitely Eternal Darkness.

    • ichigoame

      I think the clock tower series and haunting grounds is pretty scary, just hiding as a defense with the occasional chair throwing to stun the enemy

  • trololololololol

    duuude. the dreamcast is the greatest system – to us fighting game fans. Arcade perfect ports of third strike, mvc2, and other games. power stone was awesome to. i guess if your not big on fighting games though, i could see how one might overlook the dreamcast and its greatness

  • Nick Ohmann

    god these commercials are starting to become like jump scare

  • William George Sayers

    So Resident evil wasn’t scary Spoony?

    Well I’ve got two words for you, “Itchy, tasty”,

  • Sven Hansson Bom

    …Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth? One of the best horror games I’ve ever played.

  • Vortemeer

    Wait. 18:00. Does Tina Turner have a Hitler ‘stache?

  • Beans

    Spoony, please keep your foul mouth off the Dreamcast. Since you spent a large span of the system’slifespan playing Ultima IX and Final Fantasy (to the end!), I do not see you in a position to sneer at it, with your crude taste.

  • Minjen

    My guess: “Salad AND Jelly” wouldnt fit into that texture and the desiner just didnt care… or spoke english that well. Or maybe they ment “fruit salad jelly”

  • ichigoame

    man,so much to laugh at here, the shit splodge noise, the ”you ok lady” and the sly stallone expression robert has XD
    truly one of those ‘the room’ type humours

  • saibot216

    You ok, Spoony?

  • Jimi Steele

    Spoony, love your work as always, but this video in particular gave me major ‘Get on with it!’ feelings. I know there isn’t a lot to go on with a Dreamcast horror game based on The Ring, but some of the bits dragged a bit long. It may be part of your style, but this episode was chalk full of drawn out jokes.
    I can’t complain, since its free entertainment and is definitely above standard quality. Just throwing it out there, on the off chance you see it.

  • Disthron

    Holy shit dude, I was having the worst day, this really hit the spot and cheered me right up. Thanks man.

    Also laptops did have floppy drives. I had a 386 laptop that I used to play Wolf3D and Commander Keen on back in the day.

  • misjif2341

    Nice shout out to your old Wendy’s training video riff.

  • Malcomb Bell

    great video noah, and to answer your question near the middle about laptops having built in floppies. Yes there were laptops with them. I actually have one setting in my living room propping up my 360 so can just reach down beside my chair to put a new disc in.

  • Remus

    Actually we have two old toshibas lying around with built-in floppy drives. (really really old)

  • Remus

    Well, even if google could tell me what “dalad jelly” is it won’t now. Now if I try to look it up it just gives me a quote from this review.

  • IrkenTrad

    Could be Salad Jelly. D and S are next to each other on the keyboard, so it’s probably a spelling error. I’d believe these people would be lazy enough to leave something like that in.

  • Joel Laurie Snelling

    Hey not all Resident Evils are bad, 4 is awesome and 2 was alright, okay one was bad and so was 3 and 5, and zero makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a salad fork, but at least 4 was good.

    • Herbert West

      What about RE6 and code veronica?

    • silbmaerto

      If his problems with the series are the controls and its reliance on jump scares, I couldn’t imagine him being a huge fan of RE4.

  • SenorKaffee

    It says “Salad Jelly”, not “Dalad Jelly”.

    Compare the “D” in “Drink” with the first character of “?alad” and you will see that the D in this font does not match what you see. I’m not sure what the actual font is, but the weird “S” reminds me a little of Papyrus.

    “Salad Jelly” is most likely some kind of “Jell-O Salad”.

    Why there is a counter dedicated to “Salad Jelly” – who knows. According to Wikipedia it is quite popular in certain areas.

  • Олег Шибаев

    lol that sound just instantaneously reminded me about the Toonstruck

  • Cart Man

    Video dosent appear in my browser;firefox or Chrome.

  • Sevyne

    One of your best yet Spoony. It’s like a throwback to your old style of review. None of the theatrics, just pure rage and humor. I like both styles of work, but this is just fantastic! Can’t wait for part 2.

    I’d like to point out that the Dreamcast wasn’t the best for it’s game library (though it did have a few great games), but it was just the best tech of that generation of console that sadly didn’t get the support it needed to sustain itself. What’s funny is that now long after it’s death, it is being supported now by the small devs.

    • alaterale

      I have to agree, really loved the review :) Looking forward to seeing the rest of this, I was laughing so hard seeing this game again. It’s soo bad, and it was funny to see bits of my playthrough with commentary from Spoony. Like that absolutely stupid bunny hop the developers gave her, it’s useless except to make her look even more silly. And there’s so much more to the game so I know the next part is going to be even more hilarious. Like the goofy boss fights and how she auto-aims at monster’s crotches when fighting ^^

      And I love my dreamcast, I still have my original console :p The Dreamcast has a small library to begin with (something like 200 titles I think?) so there’s not a lot to choose from, but then the games that it did have that were good were so much fun to play. I still have my coders cable too and picked up the sd card reader just recently, so I’m hoping to extend the life further with some more homebrew stuff.

      There was of course SC (and a bunch of other great fighting titles), but also some great RPGs like skies of arcadia and grandia 2, and the sonic games, shenmue, crazy taxi, jet grind radio, etc. Of course, there’s a ton of fodder for horrible horror games too (this, Blue Stinger, Carrier, House of the dead 2, etc), but it seems like every system at the time had that (for me, I collect and play these horrible horror games, but I guess I just like seeing for myself how bad a game really is, vs just hearing about it)

  • Malidictus

    This does seem a bit more “classic” than the recent Final Fantasy and Ultima stuff, I have to admit. More The Thing, I should say – goofing on the game while being upset at just how much worse it keeps getting. Not nearly as much profanity in it, either. I love stark raving mad Spoony, I do, but it works even better when it’s balanced with level-headed Spoony. It makes the outbursts that much more impressive :)

  • hamburgerman

    hey everyone I just found out that there is a leaked spoony video on the internet here:
    here is it skipped to spoony:

    • Herbert West

      That wasn’t Spoony…unless that was meant to be a joke.

      • hamburgerman

        Yes, it totally was. You can tell because he wants to rape jesuotaku, with rusty knifes no less.

      • hamburgerman

        Yes, it totally was. You can tell because he wants to rape jesuotaku, with rusty knifes no less.

      • Atmos_Duality

        Looks like the universe finally reached its critical mass of stupid, and started sharding again.

        • Herbert West

          Not entirely sure what sharding means in this context, but yeah, that video was pretty idiotic.

          • Atmos_Duality

            A timeline breaking off and going into a different directions due to some sort of circumstance.

            “Sharding”…think of it as a mirror fracturing, showing two similar looking images, yet made different by the slight differences.

            I’ll keep my bad nerdy temporal jokes to myself in the future.

  • Chuster M. Merino

    What happened to the new intro, Spoony? It was cool D:

  • Anna Gonsales

    Spoony… I’m not sure if anyone has told you this already but S and D are right next to each other on the keyboards. Dalad Jelly is probably a typo…

  • ShipoftheLine

    First: Im REALLY grateful about Spoony doing finally a game review again, I really missed those.

    But I also have some critism: Am I the only one who thought this video was a bit “forced”? That he took too much time with single jokes? For example the endless discussion of the “Dalad Jelly”, yeah we get it its funny, but come one “S” and “D” are right next to each other on the keyboard. There you have it.

    Im saying that a lot of the enjoyment of Spoonys old videos came from how “natural” they were, it was really just Spoony playing a game an pointing out funny stuff. In the old videos Spoony would have fired a quick cuckle at the “Dalad Jelley” and moved on.

    So Spoony, MANY THANKS for bringing back the game reviews, but you dont have to “overproduce”. Just do your thing!

    • MaTachi

      Ya, I felt the same about this review.

    • Kostantine

      I liked this one. It felt way more happy than a lot of the other stuff he was making while he was going through his ‘bad’ phase.

      On another note: YES. FUCK YES. I’m not the only one who played and love I have no Mouth and I Must Scream. YES.

      Also, how could you leave Dark Corners of the Earth out of your horror top list man?

      • alaterale

        I heard about I Have No Mouth a while back, looked it up on yt now I really want to play that heh. And Dark Corners was great, if a bit flawed with game crashing bugs

        • Kostantine

          Oh sure, Dark Corners was bugged up the ass but tell me: didn’t gradually losing your sanity make up for it? Especially when you start seeing the maddened perversion of reality superimposed over the actual world, gradually in the game as your mind kept slipping?

          Fair Warning about I have no mouth: it’s a very old game and you’ll have to run it through dosbox. Most of the currently available versions don’t have the voice overs (compatibility problems or sth) which is a damn shame. Try to get one of the voiced versions no matter what.

          • alaterale

            Yeah I loved Dark Corners, it was a lot of fun. My only complaint was having to redo entire sections of the game because the game had apparently saved a crash bug along with my progress x.x

            I had read it was a DOS game, but I didn’t know some versions didn’t have voices. All I’m seeing on ebay is that it’s on CD, which I assume (hope) has voices. I’ve used dosbox before, still have my old dos adventure games on CD (along with mega man x hehe). Are there different versions of the game on cd?

          • Kostantine

            I looked up on what you asked and no, there don’t appear to be any versions. I think it’s mostly a dosbox matter. I had mine from a very old PC magazine issue in Greece and it worked fine on my old PC but not on Windows 7. It might be a windows problem, but I honestly don’t want to steer you wrong

  • Groverfield

    WAIT! Since when is the CDC a private company, as noted when she said “I’ll work for this company.” Also, from this video, I’ve found ONE frightening thing about this game. Her constant smile no matter what happens.

  • Sai

    Some of this was funny, but man some jokes just went on way too long, like the one about the sound effect at the beginning or the dallad jelly thing… it was just forced and not funny. Did this really need to be stretched to 2 parts?

  • Amy Hardigree

    I think healing jelly is like petroleum jelly which speeds up the healing process, so yeah it goes on the skin you don’t eat it… as far as I know anyways…
    As for dalad jelly I’m gonna guess either a typo or some bad engrish ;P

    • alaterale

      Considering this game is chock full of “engrish” my personal bet is that it’s just more of the same. “What I’m doing. Booting up computer” Almost every single dialogue looks like they just used google translate or something :p

  • Jason Morley

    Programming jokes?

    …I get it!

  • Daniel McGregor

    Has that Tina Turner lookalike have a Hitler moustache? =O

    • orzene

      I don’t know, but her hair looks like a cross between an afro and a mullet.

      • Alexandria White

        Mullfro or Afrullet, which would you choose? I like the sound of Afrullet.

  • orzene

    This game makes me miss Deadly Premonition all the more… at least in that game the hilarious obscurity made it entertaining.

  • kallikanzarid

    S and D are close together on the keyboard, just sayin’…

  • Jeff Faklis


  • MasterSeijin

    “Why did anyone like Resident Evil?”

    Because not everyone has the same pitifully obscure tastes and unreasonably high standards as you, you cyber bully. Some folks get enjoyment out of shooting zombies and mutants, and even bad voice acting. It doesn’t make them life unworthy of life.

    • Mick Foley

      You’re calling him a bully because he made fun of your favourite video game.

      • MasterSeijin

        I’m calling him a bully because he’s slandering a group of people because they’re entertained by something that’s “beneath him” and there for they must be geneticaly inferior.

        • silbmaerto

          1. Genetically inferior? Think for a second what that means. Are you implying that Spoony believes people have a genetic predisposition to liking Resident Evil, and that said predisposition makes them worse people?

          2. Spoony is the guy who once said that people who like FF8 (or perhaps
          FF10, I forget which) should be killed. It’s hyperbole. He doesn’t have a
          problem with the fact that the game has fans. He bears no resentment
          towards you if you like the game. He just doesn’t like the game, and
          doesn’t really get why it’s such a popular game when there are far
          better (at least in his opinion) horror games out there. In other words, he thinks it’s overrated, and he’s playing up his hatred of the series for the purpose of entertainment. Don’t take it personally.

          • MasterSeijin

            Oh bullshit.

          • Cody Klein

            Not really and if you can’t take a goddamn joke, go somewhere else since there obviously isn’t any reason for you to be here.

            I love Final Fantasy 8, a lot, and I still enjoyed those videos where he ripped the game (and its fans) apart, so if you are incapable of hearing an opinion, then maybe you should just go somewhere else. Or grow up. Either/or.

          • MasterSeijin

            Look, I may have unfairly attacked Benett the Sage a while ago, but I can admit that was only because I was on the rag that day. I’ve been watching Spoony long enough to deconstrust him. He lives with the constant fear that every piece of media is actually Ultima 9 wearing a disguise so it can catch him off guard and hurt him again. He lives every day of his life with hatred in his heart because he thinks that’ll protect him from some superficial pain. It’s not healthy and he’s getting too old for it!

  • Nick Godbout

    When Spoony started saying “Jump scares are startling, they’re loud noises right in your ear,” I almost threw my headphones off because I expected a screamer. YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, SPOONY!?

    • silbmaerto

      He promised to never do it again days ago after a ton of people complained that they had actually damaged something because of the screamer. Relax.

  • Derek Thomas

    This. Was. Awesome. What is up with spoony? Lol this was one of the best experiment videos I’ve seen in AGES. Even better than the second half of ultima 9. This is fantastic. Whatever your doing an KEEP IT UP! I may just donate if you had more content like this. MONTHLY! :D

  • hamburgerman

    looks like spoony is freaking out on twitter again.

  • DrBreakfastMachine

    Spoony, if you want a really fucking bad “horror” game to review for next Halloween, look no further than Land of the Dead: Road to Fiddler’s Green. It’s a budget FPS based on a movie, and it’s actually subpar for that category.

  • DrBreakfastMachine

    My theory on the Dalad Jelly mystery: someone meant to type Salad Jelly but hit the D key by accident.

  • magus12000bc

    Dude, you ripped on the Dreamcast. I understand that you are a PC Gamer. But dude, da hell is wrong with you? At the very least pop in Grandia 2 or any of the Marvel vs. Capcom games before opening your mouth.

    …Or Power Stone 2! It’s everything Smash Bros. Brawl wished it was.

  • Victor Davis

    I’m pretty happy Noah is doing this one. It takes me back to a review from many years ago, by a guy who has long been lost on a wave of obscurity and hate.

  • Octo Seven

    There are tons of good scary games. To name a couple, Silent Hill 2, Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth, Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Alone In The Dark, Fatal Frame, F.E.A.R., Condemned etc

    • Herbert West

      I didn’t find F.E.A.R to be all that scary tbh. Creepy, sure, but it didn’t really scare me all that much. Then again, fear is subjective, which kinda makes the whole “what is a scary game?” question moot.

      • John Barton Haslach

        I myself found the scary thing about F.E.A.R. to be the atmosphere and how it really didn’t have a soundtrack or play any music during the gameplay. One of my personal favorite horror games, one of the only horror games I’ve played, is Dead Space.

      • Octo Seven

        F.E.A.R. Scared the shit out of me to be honest! The bit early in the game where you turn around and not-Sadako is running around a corner. The random appearances of her, and then the genuinely disturbing plot elements towards the end about her being impregnated as a child and locked in an isolation chamber. It didn’t linger with me or anything, but while playing the game I was constantly on edge and unnerved, I think the only game I ever played that stuck with me after powering off the console was Silent Hill 2.

  • Gregory McIntyre

    Scary games: Gabriel Knight, Dark Seed (oh wait you said good game), Trilby series, Dark Fall series, Sanitarium, 7th guest, Delaware St. John series, Phantasmagoria (1), scratches

  • CaptainDingaling

    I hope Part 2 comes out soon and this doesn’t turn into another “deadly premonition”.

    Any how about the Jump scares. Isn’t part of being scared being “startled” and caught off guard? Things that are scary aren’t scary because they are “expected”. They’re scary because you’re “unprepared” for it. It like going to the Zoo and seeing a lion. You pay your ticket, you go to the lion cage and you look at the lions, it’s not scary at all because you know that’s what you were going to do and see. However, try waking up and have one of those lions standing over you. That be scary because you weren’t expecting that. I disagree with the jump scare theory, As a die hard horror fan I find the best movies to be one that has a combinations of both “suspense” and “jump scares”. The movie that’s able to put you into the characters shoes and feel those emotions like that is the best. Without the “startle scares” it’s just suspense. I think you have building “suspense” confused with “engaging the audience”.

  • Daniel McGregor

    I just watched the newest trailer of “Amnesia A Machine For Pigs”. That game is going to make all of us turn in to insomniacs :D

  • Daniel McGregor

    12:20 Insert the music from Halo xD

  • Josh Palmer

    Oh my gosh. Your Tshirt. Thats from the movie “In the mouth of madness”. I’m, more then likely, one of the 12 people who saw that film. Awesome.

  • Jagi

    You okay, lady?

  • Robert Yarber

    Oh man, your reviews just keep getting more hilarious!

  • WolfyD

    Actually iT’s supposed to be Baked Jelly, it’s just really hard to read…
    Source: GameFAQs

  • Steven Wells

    the ring in the original book wasn’t always on a tape, it transfers to other medias. i think to stop the curse u have to transfer it to another media to save yourself? i cant remember, i just remember that it’s been on cassettes as well as tapes. so the floppy think is ok, but the game still sucks.

  • Mark Redding

    Yes, in the 80’s and 90’s there were indeed 3.5 drives on laptops. 1.5MB was actually quite a bit back in the 16 bit OS days. Up until about 1995 even 1TB drives were still rare simply because the operating systems of the time usually couldn’t even count that high. This is back when Doom came on 2 3.5″ 1.5MB floppies, and required a bare minimum of a 386 and 4MB of extended memory.

    The advent of newer 32 and 64 bit operating systems means that each instruction to the processor has to be exponentially larger in size. Also, the high definition content that’s in games and systems now take up far, far more memory and drive space, so the 3.5 disk and even the venerable LS120 disk are more or less obsolete.

    a simple text file can be absolutely massive and still fit on a 1.5MB disk.

  • Tim Malear

    Woah, he made a game review? And it isn’t Ultima?

    • Tim Malear

      Also: Resident Evil is called a horror game? I thought it was an action comedy.

  • charl

    I actually own an old laptop that came with an integrated floppy disk reader. It’s about as as big and aesthetically pleasing as the laptop in the game, so at least they got late 90s technology right.

  • Kyle Blackpaw

    I had an old zenith data processor laptop that had a floppy drive. It was too old for a cd drive or usb ports tho. also had an integrated trackball instead of a touch pad if memory isnt failing. Oh and it had to be upgraded to windows 98 from windows 95 and that was pretty much as much as it could handle. with a total of 128 mb ram and a dial up pci fax modem card the thing was blazin fast fro browsin the web.

  • Kyle Blackpaw

    dalek jelly

  • Damian Soroka

    I`ve watched “In the mouth of madness” for the first time ever just one day before watching this review. I was looking for a good H.P. Lovecraft inspired movie and it got my attention. Sutter Cane ftw !

  • QuietW8

    After the “lukewarmness” of Resident Evil 6’s release, I was really looking forward to something to take my mind off the current state of one of my (former) favorite game franchises. I thought listening to Spoony rant about a terrible, obscure Horror game would cheer me up a little. Then he talked about IT… but not the IT with the clown.

    Spoony addressed what most everyone knows about the original game (dogs jumping through windows, bad camera angles, bad voice acting), and skipped over the series strong points. Unique monsters, realistic environments, surreal puzzles, creepy notes, and a haunting soundtrack. People like to harp on the camera angles, but I’m pretty sure the camera style was necessary for the backgrounds (which often looked AMAZING). Spoony bragged on the controls of Eternal Darkness. Yet while its environments looked good, they didn’t have that same eerie “living portrait” quality. That’s the trade off. Also, the voice acting got better after the first RE.

    I never got into Paranormal Activity like Spoony did, but I respected his reasons for liking the first couple of movies. His explanations for why he doesn’t think RE is legitimate horror, sound fairly reminiscent of his gripes with the Zelda series. You seriously didn’t think the REmake qualified as a genuine Horror game? You okay, Spoony?

    Not sure if serious about Spoony’s Dreamcast jokes. I’m almost positive there were other good DC games outside of Shenmue and Soul Calibur. Games like: Power Stone, House of the Dead 2, Soul Reaver, Resident Evil: Code Veronica, Crazy Taxi, Rayman 2, Phantasy Star Online, Skies of Arcadia, Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of Time, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2…

  • Felipe Serpa

    To be fair, the Dreamcast had Crazy Taxi, Grandia 2 and Skies of Arcadia…

  • Roger Smith

    1: I like Resident Evil; it hasn’t aged well, I’ll give you that in spades, but the gamecube remake has some merit for improving the voice acting, and having a much better atmosphere. The plot is still rock stupid, but then again, you could make arguments against Silent Hill for that.

    2: I actually had a laptop that looked a LOT like the one in this game. It was a huge, heavy-as-hell Mac Laptop that ran black-and-white and had a built-in floppy disk drive.

  • Kitshton VonBast

    My first laptop had a few drives you could switch in and out, and one of them was a 3.5 inch Floppy drive.

  • Loren Ray Bowman

    There is a distinct lack of Fatal Frame in that list. It may not be the most horrifying game ever, but the idea behind it, forcing you to get up and close with the ghosts to do decent damage, and the atmosphere are up there with or above Silent Hill, at least in my opinion.

  • Jacob Tucker

    Really, Spoony? All people ever played on the Dreamcast was Soul Calibur? Because my family and plenty of others I can think of had a lot of fun with House of the Dead, Crazy Taxi, and probably two of the most important ones; Sonic Adventure and Grandia II, probably in the Top 3 of my Favorite console RPGs ever.

  • Jacob Tucker

    I think the thing I like about Resident Evil was that the voice acting got good around 4.

  • Dylan Luciano

    Spoony I love your hair.

  • Patrick Dunn

    Just wanted to mention that Silicone Knights are working on another Eternal Darkness for the Wii U. Granted that is a rumor flying around but I don’t know if anything is official. I do know that it won’t involve the Roivus Family. After they did Sanity’s Requiem that they wanted to do a new story with new characters and everything. So I would hope for a similar make but new story. New ancients (or maybe using Mantorak and finish that up) and a new set of characters could be cool. I could see them use the Tome of Eternal Darkness again but moving on. Let’s hope that they actually continue this series (preferably without fucking it up) and not focus on things they shouldn’t. Like Too Human 2 (but if they did they would have to spend 5 years fixing everything that was wrong with that game.)

  • Sanny Folkesson

    issue with eternal darkness not get a sequal is simple, silicon knights says “we would love to make it” fans says “give us eternal darkness 2″ and nintendo that owns the ip says “….no”

    why none uses its combat system or scare system is also simple, same problem why none used golden eye 007 or time splitters well made fps combat for control, its to good therefore it must be avoided.

    • Senna4ever

      Very true about ED…however if Scilicon Knights REALLY wanted to make another game then they could, just don’t use the ED name. There is nothing stopping them making another horror game in the same vein, just use a different name.
      This is what Rare did when they wanted to do a follow up to Goldeneye but lost the Bond Licence…and Perfect Dark was what we got.

  • Ivan Filipe Stefani

    Darkseed, Spoony. Please. Darseed. Crap in my pants game, without jump scares. Just a bizarre and awkward setting. Please, review this game. A game where you’re nobody, getting an alien thing by Fedex… on the first scene… Please Spoony, review this game. I couldnt finished because this game was freaking hard. Let me see wat happens after you go to that other place (dont want to spoil it before you do). PLEASE. DARKSEED!

  • Brendan Millet

    “Do You Read Sutter Kane?”….on a t-shirt….really??? That is some obscure shit.

  • Senna4ever

    People liked Resident Evil as, at the time it was new, refreshing and an original concept.

    Of course this only applies to people that never had a PC and/or played the Alone In The Dark series.

    It was the advent of “3D graphics” (again for people that didn’t have a PC). People didn’t care about bad voice acting back then. We were playing a zombie film…essentially.
    Was it “scary”? Not really, it was gory and violent…and that is what we liked about it.

    To go from playing Super Mario World on the SNES to Resident Evil on the PS was seminal…at the time.

    What amazes me is not that the original RE was liked so much at the time as that is understandable…at the time. What stuns me is how/why RE is still popular today with it’s inane action gameplay.

    We are on RE 6 now and countless spin-offs, etc. The games are dull. It’s a franchise that should not have lived beyond RE 2.

  • Jim Blue

    Cut your hair.

  • Carmyn Davidson

    Does anybody like ClockTower or Forbidden Siren?

  • jdm

    CUSTARD jelly, a common dessert

  • Jack Power

    Hearing that cop say “You okay, lady?”, I was half-expecting a weasely guy to pop up and say “Special forces?!”

  • Donya Bradshaw

    What happened to your newer animated opening?

  • Michael Rodriguez

    I lost it in zero seconds.


    If we’re going to talk about decent horror games, though: Clocktower for the SNES was good. Very fun, randomized events, and multiple endings. Find a translation patch for a rom copy and off you go. I also enjoyed Yahtzee’s Chzo Mythos games, but the finest one among them is Trilby’s Notes. It’s a genuinely disturbing Lovecraft-esque adventure game controlled entirely with a text parser interface, and easily the most polished and best looking of the tetralogy. I also enjoyed the first game in the series, 5 Days a Stranger, but I wouldn’t call it scary. It’s more of a thriller/murder mystery inspired by Jason Voorhees, and the puzzle mechanics got to be a bit obtuse as the game progressed, but I still enjoyed the game’s atmosphere and story while it lasted. Love the music. The sequel, 7 Days a Skeptic, can be considered laughably bad, but it takes place in space, has a lot more gore that its predecessor, and a lot more death, so YMMV. Finally, the fourth game, 6 Days a Sacrifice, wraps everything up with a questionable use of science and eldritch shenanigans; not as spooky as Trilby’s Notes, and without having played it you won’t get what’s going on. The characters are much less relatable.

  • Dragons_Dusk

    I played RE 2 & 3 and the real enjoyment I had was the fact I played with my brother and we made fun of the noises and stuff. Seriously, the horror of this game is being trapped in an office building, sort of like Gremlins 2 only stupid.

  • Gaijin Rebyu-yatsu

    What, no 7th Guest? :D

  • Senna4ever

    Heavy Rain is a scary game.
    Not due to it’s content. But due to the fact people actually brought this shit and defend it’s empty “gameplay” and outdated QTE style as a game. When in fact all you are doing is interrupting cut-scenes.

  • Luciano Leon Jr

    That actually wasn’t a floppy disk. It’s an MO disc.

  • Ian McIvor

    Was that Nothing but Flowers on the ending card? The fuck?

  • Bill Hiers

    Speaking just for myself, I liked Resident Evil not for its scariness (which didn’t exist) but more for exploring and slowly uncovering the story of what happened. Also, I played Resident Evil 2 first, then the first one, so I think that might also have something to do with it. Anyway, Resident Evil is a clunky but fun game to me.

  • Kyle Blackpaw

    I used to have an old zenith laptop running windows 95 with a floppy drive.

  • ctck

    This is an homage to Armake21 isn’t it? :DD

  • Shane Nolan

    wait why has noone mad this a meme yet:
    “You okay Lady?”

  • wiliamsn

    I think you should go to this restaurant and ask them for Jelly…

  • DH

    A good horror game two words Parasite Eve the first one not the 2nd one

    Also I think heard that Dallad some kind duck, so it’s a duck jelly?? eewww!

  • Joshua Daniel Hahn

    Yes!! Game reviews: Spoony at his finest!

  • Dori Black

    Hey Spoony, been a big fan for years but never commented before, but I just wanted to ask and/or suggest something.

    I’m a fan of horror games and I agree most are shit with the good ones like finding unicorn that shits gold bricks. Your idea for the ring game sounded a lot better than whatever the hell-o dolly this was. But I’m curious if in your list of decent games you’ve ever tried something from the Fatal Frame series? Three games for PS2 and the first is kind of rare, but I always liked them. Haunted Japanese mansion, vengeful ghosts, good ambiance and sound, and using a camera for a weapon all made it pretty freaky to me. Then again I haven’t played it since I was a kid in grade school (thank you hippy-dippy parents letting me pick up M games to make my own decisions as an individual or something) and there was such a thing as a blockbuster in my neighborhood. Even if it’s not as good as I remember it might be good for a laugh if you wanted to give it a shot.

  • Will A Hamar Jr.

    So, idk if anyone else has problems, but these videos are unwatchable to me because of this player. These need uploaded to Youtube with a fury… And Spoony, as a long time fan, fix this stupid shit so I can watch them on YOUR website, not youtube. smh

  • Zanya Resident

    Love it, glad to see you back in form, Noah. Can’t wait for FFXIII

  • Rapscallion

    i dont get it? how is resident evil so high up in gamers lists when it sucks so much cock? it will always be a mistery to me

  • Rapscallion

    so many closed doors, reminds me of silent hill origins. do you wanna know how to fuck up a franchise? look at silent hill 4, origins or any resident evil after 3

  • Cecelia Burnett

    Eternal Darkness was AMAZING!!
    And was anyone else creeped out by the fact that Meg just had this vapid grin on her face throughout the entire game? <.< That was kinda freaking me out more than anything else.

  • Carter Rosen

    it’s almost heartwarming how many people quote the guy on his own site. he can’t say he doesn’t have fans.

  • Allen Schmitz

    don’t forget about slender

  • StarTiller

    My first laptop in 2002 had a floopy drive/CD-R/RW/DVD-ROM. I had yet to make the transition to DVD-RW/DVDRL yet, but even now I still have a floppy drive. It’s my fail safe if my CD/DVD drives don’t work.

  • AndréMathieu Gervais

    OOHH! It’s BAKED JELLY! WTF How did they fuck the sign up!

    BTW: a friend (girl) of mine was arguing with another friend of mine and she starts crying. I tried the “You ok, lady?” thing and another friend (who also watches TSE) laughed his ass off… Now I know how a slap across the face feels. But it was worth it.

  • Emilly Orr

    I’m seeing seven letters, but “Oatmeal Jelly” doesn’t make any more sense…

  • Bjørn Mayland Glerup

    little tip, look at you keyboard, d is next to s… is salad jelly

  • Jermaine Antonio Fernando

    I have not laughed at a review like this in a long time; clearly one of the funniest reviewers ever! Almost every line was a LOL and i want me some dalad jelly.

  • sekiwat

    I like you, Spoony, but you DO NOT FUCK WITH SHENMUE!! I’ll admit that the game’s not for everyone, but if you’re patient enough to play through it, the game is pure genius.

  • ColeYote

    Good scary games? Oh, jeez, uh… the Dead Space series, and… I haven’t played any other ones.

  • Ben Lykins
  • Michael Werker

    Thats actually a fairly common food packaging in Japan. Jelly and ice cream for example.

  • Ashley Butela ← Salad Jelly
    Dalad Jelly does not exist. Baked Jelly, also, does not exist.

  • RyuRanX

    I recommend giving Cry of Fear a try. It’s a fan-made survival-horror developed under the Half-Life 1 engine released early this year.

  • Ben Lykins

    The thing and dirty harry were my favorite, but the toilet monsters have put this one at the top.

  • Isaiah Thompson

    Don’t. Act. Like. A. Dumbass. Jelly. = Dalad Jelly

    And I may be taking this too far but on the food pyramid if you want better judgement I assume you’ll eat a more balanced diet. That said, I assume Dalad Jelly is some kind of vegetable based jelly. You were likely close when showing the Vegetable Jello molds

  • Aluminum Foil

    Yes, they did come with floppy drives. I’ve got one running windows 3.1 on a 43 meg HDD. It also has a 14.4 modem card. Amazingly, it still runs. And it’s in color (srs bsns back then)

  • Master Chief Snake

    This is most funniest moment was the ridiculous splatting sound effect. Man, I should put the splatting sound effect from The Ring: Terror’s Realm in my ringtone. So I could wake up in the morning and freak me out after I heard the sound effect from The Ring: Terror’s Realm.

  • Kamyla

    laptops had floppy drivers, but really, freakin’ old ones :P

  • David Mason

    When spoony started saying “We’ve been over this a jump scare is startling…” I fucking freaked the fuck out and ripped off my headphones. YES SPOONY, WE’VE BEEN OVER IT ALRIGHT NO MORE PLEASE T_T

  • Dylan Byrne

    Alan Wake was a great horror game

  • jesternario

    I can think of TWO games that truly scared me. Fatal Frame (the first one only) and the first Phantasmagoria.

  • Erik Rusu

    I’m a bit sad that Spoony didn’t mention the Fatal Frame series.

  • Cheryl-ann Berlin

    love it

  • Joseph Parker

    All 3 Thief games have segments that alone are scarier than pretty much every full horror game ever.

  • Poul Andersen

    Yes, I read Sutter Cane. I love that movie and I appreciate the hell out of the reference.

    • Steve Banta

      It was definitely one of the better John Carpenter films.

  • Charles Ethier

    what’s worse is the movie is based on a book too, so it is a game based on a movie based on a book about a video that kills you

    • Valérie Dicaire

      It’s not all that usual. Parasite Eve was based on a movie that was based on novel. Was too bad of a series…

      • Goblin_King

        which movie?

    • wizzbang

      To be fair, The Ring film and books are only tenuously related. The book is just…weird…the Japanese film was awful… The American remake is actually the apotheosis of the property, which you can rarely say of anything these days.

  • Merrick D’Amato

    Yes, because “The Ring” is perfect video game material…

  • Dragons_Dusk

    Having now seen Lotus Prince’s Let’s Play of Eternal Darkness I completely agree with its awesomeness. Sadly I’ve never had a chance to play it. My only problem with ED was I felt the last fight felt a little long, I liked the aspect of it but after doing all the switches twice then the battle. It still looked awesome.

    As for RE, I liked 2 & 3 because I played it with my brother. I helped with puzzles and tracked ammo, he controlled the characters. I honestly don’t know if I like them on my own since I’ve got such good memories attached.

    I think REs mistake was calling it Resident Evil, when it was called Bio hazard everywhere else. (think everywhere else).

    Silent Hill 3 is made of such win.

  • Joseph Raymond Ortiz


  • TK1999


    I have Dalad Jelly in the dictionary!

    The only problem is that its your definition of it.

  • skeevy

    I am a bit under the weather right now with an extremely nasty cough, and that splat sound was REALLY UNEXPECTED. I’ve been floored for the last 10 minutes coughing cuz of how hard that made me laugh. Don’t do this shit to me!

  • seedub25

    Been a while since I’ve played it but I remember The Suffering being a really good horror game. Also Dead Space deserves mention; uses a lot of startle tactics like Resident Evil but definitely sets a genuinely creepy atmosphere. (which IMHO a lot of the Resident Evils do too, tho it’s hard to disagree most of its “scares” come from shock value)

  • Atmos_Duality

    She got face yiffed by her now-furry boyfriend, and her status went from Bad to…Normal…?

  • kingd353

    damn it now i wanna know what dallad jelyis

    • NeroAngelo

      it’s baked jelly. he read it wrong

  • Slevin424

    I agree Resident Evil wasn’t scary, but The Walking Dead was a zombie game from Telltale Games and it wasn’t scary… yet it turned out to be the one of the best story driven games of all time. Resident Evil had it’s following (myself included) because of the amazing story and the atmosphere had a lot of tension thus contributing to the experience. It really didn’t have many jumpscares aside from dogs going through windows and zombies waiting for you to open a door. The story was just so rich. An evil corporation that designing new weapons for war, known as the Umbrella Corporation. The discovery of the Progenitor virus in 1966 would give Umbrella Corporation a new weapon in bio-chemical warfare, it was a success. A mutagenic virus invisible to the eye and undetected by the nose, they called it the T-Virus.

    They hoped it would be able to create Bio Weapons to sell to the black market, experiments conducted to create a superhuman called the Tyrant would also hatch the creation of Hunters (created by fusion of a human fertilized egg with t-Virus infected reptilian DNA) the Ivies (flowers grown to unnatural proportions and given animal instincts, locomotion and rudimentary defense mechanisms) the Chimeras (a mixture between a fly and human given vague humanoid appearance,
    increased size and mass, improved claws, and better reflexes) and the Cerberus (infected dogs – specifically Dobermans). When this virus came in contact with humans on the other hand, it mutated them into cannibalistic decaying monsters (zombies). In Resident Evil 2 the police force S.T.A.R.S. was unable to convict the Umbrella Corporations of their crimes so their researched continued. Someone tries to steal the T-Virus but the attempt only lands the dangerous material in Raccoon City’s sewage. Turning the majority of the population into zombies.

    The story is really the reason we all love it so much. It’s also the reason we hate Resident Evil 6! Which gave way to the dumbest thing in the series, a T-Virus dinosaur… fuck you Capcom! Fuck you!

  • Dan

    I had a Dell Laptop that had an interchangeable floppy drive which could be swapped out with a DVD drive.

    • Jesse_Dylan

      Yeah, I think laptops either predate CD-ROM or came out before CD-ROM was mass market. There were probably lots of (old) laptops with 3.5″ floppy drives. Maybe not any with 5.25″ drives tho :)

  • Rakkrakk

    That would put you on hold for a looooong time… Or they give you salad jelly instantaneously via saying they msheard you.

  • George Plellis

    RE 4 was kinda scary and that’s the one i liked because of the creepy atmosphere while you could fight back but it was weird since you could not move and aim at the same time.

  • Heather Nunnelly

    Resident Evil the remake (for the game cube) was pretty awesome, though. Yes, the controls and voice acting sucked balls, but the environment was very creepy. That and the story was a lot more subtle, too. After that game though it did get very hollywood-eque. The series, over all, become more action-pack than anything. Especially 4,5 and 6.

    If you haven’t played the Resident Evil remake I do recommend trying it out. Again, getting used to the controls is annoying, but I think it’s worth it personally. At least for the crimson head zombies.

    • NeroAngelo

      I just have the remake for the Wii. is that as good or better than the gamecube one?

      • Bill Hiers

        I think it’s the same game.

  • NeroAngelo

    oh, c’mon. You mention the most popular game for the genesis, but not the dreamcast?
    Sonic Adventure? an awesome Sonic game that actually introduced the franchise to 3D in a way that WORKED

  • NeroAngelo

    first laptop I ever owned, hand-me-down from my dad
    old piece of crap from like the 90s that had a floppy-disk drive built-in

    today, I have a modern laptop . . . and an external floppy drive

  • gallowsCalibrator413

    The “Dalad Jelly” sign is a strange, badly-done graphic; it’s actually “Baked Jelly” – it’s more understandable from farther back, at a worse angle. Don’t ask me why someone would need to BAKE Jelly, but yeah XD

    • Bill Hiers

      Jelly donuts? Maybe?

    • BWM

      Really? I assumed it was “Salad Jelly”, as in, “Salad and Jelly here”. And I figured “Jelly” was what some translator used for dessert, because you put dessert at the end of the line, near the register, for impulse buys, and I don’t see salad anywhere else either, so you’d assume that’s where it goes. I mean, come on, it’s set in America, and we wouldn’t put up with a cafeteria that didn’t offer quadruple fudge dipped brownies with chocolate chips.

  • Midori Inaba

    OMG This is funny

  • NeroAngelo

    i thought they stopped doing last meals

  • Dragons_Dusk

    I just now noticed what the ring tone of Spoony’s phone was, it’s the Hot Drinks Wendy’s training video song.

  • Auxiliatrixie

    A prisoner, found guilty of a string of serial murders. On death row. For his last meal, he asks for one thing and one thing only.
    Dalad Jelly.

  • Garmrspor

    I don’t think the men’s room was what he had in mind you fucking ditz!

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