Ultima 2: Revenge of the Enchantress

The Spoony One | Jul 19 2010 | more notation(s) | 

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

  • madlord

    Heh, very nice, are you going to go all the way to Ultima IX?

  • BlueLevel

    Jeez, how many IP theft lawsuits would Garriott receive if he tried to release Ultima today?

  • http://twitter.com/thereals0beit Andrew YouDontKnow

    My god, Lord British must have been the highest man of yore.

    He used all of Yor's hemp before he was through.

  • http://twitter.com/iRiffMoleman J_Masterbassist

    Not a big deal but in the chat when you were streaming System Shock I said I was very interested in seeing more Ultima since I never played any of them. You thought I said “not interested” and then you said “Oh well…uh…I'm sorry”.

    Poor guy, you've gotten so much negativity from the It Came From Beyond Midnight I just wanted to clarify that.

    Great vid.

  • LordEnigma

    Lord British: Causing Kids Ageda Since 1983!

  • Ashenge

    I'm an old man.

  • Gheist

    This is certainly one of the most underhanded games I've ever witnessed. The programmers didn't want to make the game this way, but Lord British's booming voice and outer-worldly bitch slap probably scared them.

  • lkraider

    This series rock :D Now gonna watch the Spoony's System Shock playthrough

  • lkraider

    Damn, now I must give `likes` to your post

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/JQKE5ZLJJ735DD6WBTCWZ5LCRQ samantha hodge

    I'm from San Antonio, and we totally just mill around announcing who we are until you pay us gold pieces. It's a “thing.”

    • Anonymous

      Even if the title is humble and plain?


  • capthavic

    or 500 gold coins XD

  • http://twitter.com/interludeauthor Sean Glenn Driscoll

    I started playing at Ultima V, so I never know how fucked up the old Ultima games were.


  • Salenstormwing

    They should have just retitled the name of this series from Ultima to Ultimate Fetch Quest!

    Seriously, that's all this game series seems to be about. You go here to get this, you go there to get stuff, you go to PLANET 10 so one guy will say “That ring? Oh sure, you can have it…”, just so you can go all the way BACK to Earth just so you can get it from an old guy under a tree!

    This game series demands a flow-chart!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Bentley2210 Paul Bentley

    Awesome. But erm… Thanks SpoonyOne.. I'm not going to have Hotel California in my head all night!

  • iraptor

    I am 51, and this game is an example of how games were. We figured them out somehow, but they are crazy by todays standards. Imagine dying because you don't have enough food in your backpack, in one step. Or hand drawing a map. Or the ability to only save at the inn's. I loved em! Thanks for reviewing these old classics Spoony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mmcabe1 Michael Mc Cabe

    Ultima 2 was one of the first RPG's I remember, my mother got it on her old Apple IIc and the minute they had a hint book come out for the game she ran out and got it. Funny thing is she ended up beating it and never touched another RPG ever again and just played Kings Quest or any of the 'Quest' games by Sierra.

    Years later my first RPG that I got into ended up being Ultima 4:Quest of the Avatar on the NES. Still thanks for doing this Spoony, makes me miss the old PC days. And question are you planning on just doing the main Ultima games or going to also look at the side games like World of Ultima and Ultima Underworld.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thecrazyguy Sean Thomas Gill

    There is a McDonalds on Mars?

  • http://bluehighwind.blogspot.com/ BlueHighwind

    I love the Big Lebowshi's Spanish version of “Hotel California”. But you know what you've done? …OPENED THE DOOR TO THE JESUS QUOTES!!

    “If you pull any of that crap on me, pull your piece out on the lane, I take it away from you, shove it up your ass, and pull the trigger 'iill it go *click*. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Martin-Clarke/672390861 Martin Clarke

    this might sound silly but what show is it from were sponny has the blonde girls wig on that you see in the opening title shot?

    ps. so glad i never glad this game lol

  • Carteeg_Struve

    As far as RPG first sequels go… at least you don't have to hit yourself in the head over and over to level in this one. It's more of a welcome option than a requirement.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/114319313498601954245 Kaltzor

    How can these sorcerers and sorceresses take over the world so easily when they have fucking hovercar riding knights with goddamn blaster rifles…

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/LordKarnov42 LordKarnov42

    Yay, now you can get to the awesome Ultima games. And then the horrible ones.

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/LordKarnov42 LordKarnov42

    Lord British -was- the programmer. Sierra (I think) rushed the game out and (I know) cheated him out of royalties on the IBM version so he and his brother formed Origin.

  • http://twitter.com/Themeloncolony Prons Amuro


  • http://www.google.com/profiles/LordKarnov42 LordKarnov42

    No, silly, it's in Port Boniface, just northwest of the Castle of Lord British, England. In 1990.

    • http://www.facebook.com/thecrazyguy Sean Thomas Gill

      Oh, since you’re going over there already, can you get me a McDLT?

  • Twisted_Sister

    Spoony, you are a goddamned genius.

  • goodguya

    Was this like the 2nd worst Ultima game then, or are there more terrors that await us before 9?

    • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

      There’s always “Online”…

  • emichael

    I think that is from the Partymania FMV review.

  • jonhefets

    i love how you used the Buena Vista Social Group's hotel California for the credits, i really like those guys :).

  • theforetoldlegend

    When will you continue your review of Deadly Premonition? I finished the game a few days ago, not that bad of a game.

  • sebasnadilo

    Ohh nice review..and excelent music..Olé!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Joseph-Deibler/31806865 Daniel Joseph Deibler

    Haha. I love these, despite the fact that I've never played an Ultima game in my life. Keep 'em coming, Spoony. :)

  • saint23thomas

    Yeah, it was the best game the Dreamcast had to offer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Lilly/1800602772 Joshua Lilly

    Uh-oh… Ultima Exodus up next, is it? That's the only Ultima game I ever played. I owned it when it came out on the NES, and it was probably the only NES game that ever stumped me. To this day, I've never beaten it (and I lost the cartridge ages ago, so…) I found it to be absurd on the level/gold-grinding requirements. There were some elements that I found highly laudable, such as the ability to rob chests in shops and risk battling the highly-dangerous police. But overall, I was bitterly disappointed. I've since watched a video walkthrough to see how it ends, but I can't even imagine figuring it out. Looks like the earlier games were similar. I beat a lot of games back on the old NES days considered hard, like Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden II and Crystalis, completely unaided and reading nothing. I even beat some games considered nigh unbeatable without walkthroughs, such as Bionic Commando, without the use of walkthroughs or hints of any sort, totally blind – but don't ask, because I have no idea how I figured out how to do that shot on “Hitler” without ever reading/hearing anything about it (knowing me, it was pure dumb luck.) I played the old Sierra King's Quest games brand new and beat a couple of them without buying hints in the mid-1980s (yeah, I'm probably a little older than most here and yeah, you had to actually PAY for hints from most game companies in those days before the web). But despite believing I was pretty good at video games, I spent God knows how many hours on that damned Ultima Exodus and

    Wait, what was my point?

  • midnightvoyager

    The sword, Enilno, is Online backwards.

    …I've read a bit too much Dracula.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1845946329 Jeran Norman

    Oh, boy. Ultima III here we come.
    By the way Spoony, I heard on the SGC video that you're half stand-up comic (along with two other halves…?). I would love to see you just do a stand-up bit in one of your reviews. I'm sure you're good at it.
    AND I would worship you even more if you made a Vlog for SGC. I almost pissed my pants laughing at how pumped the people were about playing the new Sonic. Everyone knows how you feel about that re-make, rightfully so.

    Keep ranting

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EZF6N54F2TAM4PCWF3VUCSSYWQ Googleshng

    I'm up for pretty much any challenge a game has to offer right up until I have to manually type out conversations with NPCs. Any time it comes up, you have a really nebulous and undocumented system and it comes down to playing “guess the context” with someone who 90% of the time isn't actually set up to reply to ANYTHING, unless you happen to be talking to the one particular guy who will respond to one particular query phrased one particular way. Shame more games didn't use the sort of topic list compromise as the SNES Shadowrun. You still have the ability to confound people who would never think to ask a particular random bum about Lonestar, but at least you have some indication that it's an option available to you.

    Also, did you remove your Highlander 2 poster after reviewing it? Is this some new scheme to bait people into asking you to do more movie reviews? Do you have a secret yearning to scream at us about Videodrome and the dangers of of inserting guns into bodily orifices?

  • http://www.facebook.com/th3t3rrorist Sarah Bowman

    For a second, I thought his shirt said “This is how I troll.”

  • spoonshock

    Ah yes, Ultima II, the game with that was 98% totally optional and the remaining 2% endlessly cryptic and confusing.

    I also recall the “Jump” and “Yell” commands in the game having absolutely no practical use. None that I ever found, anyway.

  • http://twitter.com/LikChan Lik Chan

    Man, I agree Spoony, what a confusing game. How do people figure out what to do without explanation?

  • Princess Stabbity

    Now I'm left wondering which is worse. This or FF8.
    I'm personally going to have to say Ultima 2 though. If I had to go through all that I'd have chucked the game into a fire pit and watched it burn just to justify the purchase.

  • http://www.facebook.com/byronvisiado09 Byron Espinoza

    Did anyone else think Spoony's theme song sound slower? or maybe better quality?

  • http://www.facebook.com/lou.nolastnamegiven Lou Nolastnamegiven


    Hotel California? Are you serious? Why in the world would you ever…..Ugh. Never mind. Trying to understand Lord British's brain is a skill I don't have enough ranks in.

  • http://www.youtube.com/egxtra John K. Spencer

    Insane troll logic, perhaps?
    Heck, I don't know.
    This episode was surprisingly short yet sweet.
    Can't wait to see Ultima III, though!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Kresse/100000039787473 Vincent Kresse

    So the like half the game is based on the lyrics of Hotel California or other pop culture references. LOL

    Well I guess this is what you get when Garriot meats Williams. You can thank this game for the creation of Origin Systems.

  • laziestmanonmars

    You shouldn't feel bad for beating the Benny Hill music bit to death; Ol' Benny certainly didn't!

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/ZLD2SM6TTJGPDXI74UNMUNVHZ4 andrew m

    Wasn't that twitter you displayed instead of facebook?

  • http://openid-provider.appspot.com/jmckesson Nicol Bolas

    OK, I was in fact alive and reasonably sentient in the early 80s, but I wasn't a PC gamer at the time (due to, well, a lack of a PC), so I never encountered these games alongside other PC games of the day. So I have a really simple question for anyone who was actually around for those games:


    Ultima 1, from Spoony's review, seemed like it was maybe OK. It was insane and cracked out, but it seemed like a functional game. I could see people liking it. Ultima 2 was complete, total, 100%, refined, grade-A, New York-style bullshit! I do not understand the thought processes of a human being who purchased/played Ultima 2 and then thinking, “Well, this game was crap in every possible way. Let's see what the *next* game in the series is like.”

    At least, not without some big nostalgia and a half-dozen previous games that didn't suck ass (aka: Final Fantasy or Sonic the Hedgehog). Ultima 2 sounds like the equivalent of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006: the ultimate franchise killer, except that there's no 20+ year legacy, or a golden-age of Ultima games that fans pine away for like there is with Sonic.

    Who the hell were the customers for the 3rd game? People who never played Ultima 2?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2YRHONJTPODSAK4RFFGXDFNCMM Mai

      Perspective. This was a year before Mario Brothers. Nine years before Sonic. Six years before Final Fantasy. The other games at the time? Pacman, Burgertime, Pitfall. Not bad games, but far from RPGs. Back then people were more patient with their games, especially those on computers. There weren’t a lot of alternatives, and people actually owning a computer were generally more patient. Computers were expensive (’82 was the first year the Commodore 64, the first “cheap” computer came out).

      Even though you may have been alive in ’82 (in which case you could have grabbed the game on Commodore 64, Atari or Apple, assuming you had a computer), you still sound like a guy looking at a Ford-T and wondering why people bothered with cars at all.

  • kikyoo

    Geeze… ya know I always like the idea behind Ultima, but after seeing these I'm glad I gave up when I did. I don't have the intestinal fortitude to play these games. Gimmie good old Dragon quest… I don't recall if it was well explained way back in the day, but ya know the ability to read made the game pretty easy, and honestly was pretty fun. sure you don't get lasers, but you also don't have bosses who teleport from point A to point B every time you try to take a swing at them.

  • highguywhorants

    you have some legit complaints. i think you have a right to be much angrier. i mean seriously how would anyone instinctively know to randomly pay someone money when they didnt even offer you an item or anything. this game was tryin to be clever and mystical but its just uncreative.

  • Cthulhu07

    Well Enilno is still better than Nilbog. Not much but still… :D

  • MagicJade49

    I am really enjoying these Ultima Reviews. I didn't even know these early Ultimas existed, as the first Ultima I played was Exodus on the NES. I LOVED Exodus when I played it (in Junior High), but as an older person I have mixed feelings about the game. I can't wait to see what you say about Exodus… :)

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EZF6N54F2TAM4PCWF3VUCSSYWQ Googleshng

    Yeah. The first two were honestly real obscure, only available if I recall on the Apple ][, where they made a nice change of pace from… Carmen San Diego and Oregon Trail? There wasn't enough of a gaming scene yet to warrant discrimination.

    Ultima 3 on the other hand was released on every platform under the sun, and it's a very safe bet anyone who first came across it on, say, the NES wasn't even aware it was part of a series. Come to think of it, had Nintendo Power even caught on at that point, or was this still when the only things there was to base game purchases on were word of mouth and packaging?

  • Brakiri

    Oh boy..what a frustrating game.
    It seems you have to be a masochist to enjoy something like that.
    I like freestyle RPGs, but this..c'm on!

  • Keydorn

    Can somebody tell me what is called the music that starts at the 2:11 mark ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nicholas-Gaston/1200132432 Nicholas Gaston

    So…you can choose to be a Hobbit…from Earth…who has to steal a Soviet spacecraft…which you can fly to gas giants like Jupiter…and land on then…because they're just like Earth. With villages and ducks.

    I can't tell if this game's take on mythology or planetology is more appalling.

  • MajorMud

    Yes, at the spoonyexperiment you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave…

  • kkhs

    Don't you get it. It's clear as day. Hotel California – Eagles – Alakazam! How can you not know that?

  • Ashenge

    Did you just call something other than Sonic 2006, Sonic 2006?

    Dude, I wouldn't wish that title on my worst enemy. Don't…don't say that. Just don't say that shit.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/HY6GR34KYMUL6LUDUKS24U5TF4 Jonny

    The review was good but it was short. Seemed kind of rushed in my opinion. As always I still enjoyed it.

  • http://twitter.com/AuthorD Paul Evans

    Very nice video. Really loving this look back at the series. I think III is as far back as I went with it, either that or IV. I can't remember any more, its been a very long time. And now I need to go find a couple different versions of Hotel California to listen to and then put on my Hotel California record. Thanks a lot, I was trying to go two days without listening to it.

  • http://twitter.com/IronGraham Graham Cannon

    I think my brian went *pop*

  • http://www.google.com/profiles/saarivuori Johan

    Spoony asked how people found out about these things before the Internet. Why, it's simple. They hacked the source and read through the code. Then they told all of their friends. Who told all of their friends.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    You got me into S.P.O.C.K. three years ago, you're playing the Gypsy Kings in this video.
    Seriously – if I get married will you please DJ my wedding? You have great taste, sir.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    I would actually much rather Spoony put out short and funny reviews frequently than this site being quiet for a few weeks (sometimes a month) until the next large behemoth review comes out. Last year was brutal in terms of wait times between reviews – and while each one was great fun to watch, the downtimes almost kept me from coming back – making me think the site had died several times.
    Perhaps I'm alone in that thought, but I don't see a short, rushed review as a bad thing on here. So long as it doesn't become too much a habit and exists as a tasty filler between FFX, Mazes and Monsters, FMV Hell and Movie reviews. :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    Um… I've never played this game… but after reading the first paragraph of your comment, I'm sold. It may be appalling to LotR and, well, basic science… but you just make this game sound fucking awesome! lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    While you're right… what wasn't said in this review is that back then, DOS-based RPGs and Adventure games were like that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    Back in the days of old-school gaming – this was standard fare for RPGs. If you weren't expecting a great deal of trial and error and discovery that was geeky to the max, you were not playing these games in the first place.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cardno C William Cardno

    ahhhh, those were the days. :D

  • Iaro

    I don't care what anyone says; I think the Benny Hill music gag will never die. You beat that horse good, Spoony!

  • http://dragonacesg7.livejournal.com/profile Dragons_Dusk

    whoa, you just killed Eviline(sp) (He-man) XD

    Creepy with the Hotel stuff, think I had a dungeon crawl like that once… we were just there forever

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/5AMHQMHGJJUABDZC7BZKRPXNUY Paul Ellis

    I'll have admit I wasn't a huge fan of the Ultima and I grew up playing Sierra games like King's Quest and other Sierra adventure game like Space Quest, I thin Sooony should do so review on them by going to the Sierra and getting the patches to run them in Dosbox

  • notyoursavior78

    Nice review! I didn't pick up on the series until the third one on the NES (Exodus), but that was the most footage I ever saw of Ultima 2. I was even trying to find some just the other day. The facebook/twitter post from Father Antos was hilarious and so was the Hotel California! This did seem like a fast review, but I wasn't expecting him to repeat the same jokes from the first game so I enjoyed it just the same. As always can't wait till Part III now.

  • r3verend

    Also it only feels rushed. There isn't really anything more to say to ultima 2. Its not like he left out any important aspects ;-)
    The site never bores me. I beginning to grew old so the replay value of the movies increases ;-) :D

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/GJD6KMPFMNNIHFKRN6FI76P5KA Allison

    I'd say that Spoony was trying to cover for the game at the end. No, these absurd requirements do NOT make it 'deep' or anything. They make it stupid. There was no reason for this, and I seriously wonder who taught them how to write a story.

  • http://twitter.com/Proof_Reader Justin Doyon

    He was refferring to actual game mechanics and scope, not the bullshit that goes on. Why would he cover for it after nine minutes of bashing it?

  • http://twitter.com/Mohia_Keria Mohia Keria

    Ah Roger Wilco and his stupidly bad luck in space.
    Space Quest was a completely awesome game, I think it may of been the first game I ever player as it came as a demo from the old “Computer Shopper” magazines my friends dad used to buy.

  • http://twitter.com/Mohia_Keria Mohia Keria

    The old “Simon the Sorcerer” and “Discworld” games were impossible without phoning up hint lines or buying the official hint books (which me and my sister had to do every bloody time).
    It was the norm back then, since there was little or no internet. Although it was strangely fun to wake up in the morning only to be greeted by a letter with your name on it, that you knew was the hint book.
    Was like some gloriously nerdy Christmas.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Parbr Brad Parsons

    that was the best line ever to close a review.

  • Watar

    Congratulations oh mighty one, I am one of the mysteries ones. I know since I hit the 30ies (just a few weeks ago) i am no longer part of the “insider system”.But thanks to the world called ” holy shit we got boob´s and you got to get laid; i finally i am unable to understand my past without having a HD-Crash! Yes, of course, brains of human are just standard harddisks(max. of 5 TB of course); and congratulations, your life experience will absoluteley format dozends of loyal fans and believers. I am only a few years a-head of you, but i honor thee and congratulate YOU, since you are one of the few,ones, who can transport the knowledge of the past. I will look forward for the foundation of the politican merge of you and the others of tgwtg to rule over the US and finally rule over the world. This are my soul-feelings for what you have provides US until yet, and i promise you, it will work out in the end. Spooney One, You are the one and secound of the WWW! *bow*


    Wataru of Austria

    PS: 45%&/sdf$ofall/iLU

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/GJD6KMPFMNNIHFKRN6FI76P5KA Allison

    But he didn't exactly go into detail about the game mechanics except for the need to grind to buy weapons only to discover your stats were too low so you needed to go grind for stats all the while grinding so you could buy food-GAAAAAH! It actually hurts to write that! The scope's all I'll grant, the mechanics sound about as crazy as the rest of this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Filipe-Isabelinho/100000173498272 Filipe Isabelinho

    Benny Hill is still funny…

  • MitchellBandes

    Well I guess you'd better replace him then, eh?

  • Strelnikov

    My response to all the people who are wondering how people solved these games back then: BBS. The Internet before the Internet, bulletin board systems allowed people to leave messages and I would not be suprised if some basement dweller solved the game in a month, then advertised how to get through the game for some nominal fee.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cosgrove/100000359250125 Patrick Cosgrove

    Nice Eagles reference in the description!

  • batlashes

    “Where can I find a duck?” “At this hour?” what's that from? I can't find it on Google…
    I've heard people quoting the same thing before and they didn't explain it either

  • http://cassave.deviantart.com/ Cassavius

    Just wondering…is he going to review of the Ultima Underworldses? I really loved those…

  • RPGaholic

    Yes, Nintendo Power had caught on at that point. It got started in the fall of '88 and Ultima: Exodus didn't get an official release until 1989. Early on Nintendo Power focused their articles on the Nintendo officially licensed games, but later changed their stance. Exodus got a few bits here and there from Counselor's Corner where people were getting stuck, and a few bits in the gamer-supplied hints & helps (I think it was called Classified Information, but I'm not 100% sure) where some people gave out how to start off with a ton of gold.

    Now to Ultima 2, this was back in the 5 1/4 floppy disk days, so people would sometimes switch out to the wrong disks when they were prompted to, and even though it was glitchy, it usually was a treasure trove, so those who dared to risk losing past their last save file could potentially get rich as hell. Also this was before your personal conduct would be counted against you, so some people would go and raid shop treasure troves, leave town, return to town, then sell their stolen booty back to the shopkeeper they stole from, then repeat the process.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nicholas-Gaston/1200132432 Nicholas Gaston

    I think that's one of the highest compliments that I could ever receive. :)

  • StealthKnight

    How did the series become popular and have a lot of games? How would they expect someone to be able to solve it? I wonder if the hint guide helped at all? I hope the games start to make more sense latter.

  • cajaquarius

    This wasn't uncommon in old games (that is to say, clunky and unintuitive puzzles with no direction). It did well because compared to the other crap they had at the time this one was actually quite expansive, giving the feeling of deepness and discovery that you can't get from Mario or Pac Man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andreas.puhl Andreas Puhl

    It's so annoying that blip.tv made their ads unskippable now. I mean clicking on them used to open the ad in a new tab and you could watch the video right away. The videomaker got the click and I didn't have to wait = win/win.
    Now you have to see them all, all the way through and since they only have like.. 3 different ads at a time – you get to the same unskippable shit over and over and over again. SO annoying.

    • http://twitter.com/oscar1125 oscar alonso


  • http://twitter.com/eruvadhril Danielle Clarke

    I can actually read the map at 01:14. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Octopain Zach Gerlock

    I replied already but with a link so that will need to be approved by a moderator…

    It's apparently from Pinky and the Brain.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BMPOX3USG2ZQ2Z2IT6332YNP4M Heinz Von hans

    Awesome Eagles reference, Spoony.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2YRHONJTPODSAK4RFFGXDFNCMM Mai

    Actually, yes, it did introduce depth. It may not be deep by today's standards, but this came out in '82. Along with games like Pacman/Pacman Plus/Baby Pacman, Donkey Kong Junior, Custer's Revenge, Burgertime, Pitfall and Q*bert. Actually having a story, much less one taking place across several time lines (stupid though they may be) was pretty groundbreaking. As for the game mechanics, they were irritating (being related to the early text based games) and in this case lacked some documentation, but this was back when you'd be mildly shocked to find out you had more options than “jump” and “shoot.”

    As for the story? Well, he was just an amateur programmer that made games while getting his education. There was no “they.” It was done by one guy back before people knew you could eat eggs.
    But yes, the story is a bit stupid.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2YRHONJTPODSAK4RFFGXDFNCMM Mai

    It's kinda funny how “Lord British” squeezed all the space and scifi stuff into his early games, regardless of how awkward it might be. I guess it was hero worship. Son of an astronaut and all that. I guess that would have affected me as well.


    Good on ya Spoony! Taking one for the team by exchanging your own self dignity just to produce entertaining videos. And with that I say thank you.

  • Trystaticus

    Whenever I hear that version of Hotel California, I can only think one thing. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

  • Anonymous

    Whenever I hear that version of Hotel California, I can only think one thing. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_WP6PLQ5AP6YIDNH4ND6NA5D5ZQ Scott

    I guess Lord British is an Eagles fan.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adamantyr Adam Haase

    Great review, Spoony. I’ve long noticed the same similarities in the game plot to the lyrics of Hotel California… you did miss one, though:

    “Last thing I remember, I was running for the door… I had to find the passage back, to the place I was before…”

    The time gates in Ultima II were rather like that… they didn’t really make a lot of sense unless you had the map, and a lot of us didn’t, since were playing bootleg copies some guy brought to the computer lab.

    I’ve played this one on the Apple II, both original hardware and in emulation. And what I noticed was it actually is pretty slick… it’s very swift and responsive to keystrokes. Remember that tile engines of this caliber didn’t exist at the time! Combat, after you get the ship, goes from being very hard to extremely easy. There’s definite bugs in the engine, as you’d expect from a 19-year old college student. But Sierra, I’d imagine, banked on it selling because of the brand, and it certainly did.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kieron-Behan/100001627208060 Kieron Behan

    lmao how can anyone play this game without a walkthrough? honestly i’d have just got 5 mins in and threw my comp out the window..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kieron-Behan/100001627208060 Kieron Behan

    lmao how can anyone play this game without a walkthrough? honestly i’d have just got 5 mins in and threw my comp out the window..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kieron-Behan/100001627208060 Kieron Behan

    lmao how can anyone play this game without a walkthrough? honestly i’d have just got 5 mins in and threw my comp out the window..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Damn Spoony, where do you find all this boss music? The ending song you had kicked ass! Yes, far superior to the original.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Damn Spoony, where do you find all this boss music? The ending song you had kicked ass! Yes, far superior to the original.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Aaron-Kerr/100000680887523 Aaron Kerr

    Damn Spoony, where do you find all this boss music? The ending song you had kicked ass! Yes, far superior to the original.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michal.bily Michal Bílý

    I finded a clue that old man has a ring. He is under letter R like RING :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/michal.bily Michal Bílý

    I finded a clue that old man has a ring. He is under letter R like RING :D

  • http://twitter.com/Nanaya8 Alex

    Does anyone know which version of Ultima 2 is Spoony playing?

  • paul hartmann

    Isn´t the hotel california cover also in the big lebowski?

  • paul hartmann

    Isn´t the hotel california cover also in the big lebowski?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_V6PTEBV67OCI4HR6CW4AQA7AXE SpleetlePhil

    Ultima II has so many weird design choices that seem totally inexplicable all these years later. It has a huge world to explore(well, for the time) with almost nothing to do in it. It has many, many dungeons which you don’t have to visit at all. Not one. It seems the entire challenge of the game is “Work out what the fuck to do,” and once you know what to do, it isn’t actually very difficult at all(except for those Timegates, oh man. What a headache that was).

    Also, completely by accident I stumbled on a pretty massive time-saver. Basically, if you go to Hotel California guy and offer him “0” money, he’ll randomly raise one of your stats to 99. And you can keep doing this until you’ve maxed out everything. Seriously. You don’t have to give him a fucking penny and he’ll still turn you into Superman.

  • Anonymous

    Yes! The version from The Big Lebowski!

  • Chibi Kami

    Probably the most annoying thing in the entire game is that in some versions, food is consumed in towns at the same rate per tile as on the world map.
    You can circle the earth on a bag of food and starve trying to reach a mcdonalds.
    Coupled with an XP and gold drop system based on luck, and you have a far too hardcore game.

    Well, it did do time travel in its fashion years before Chrono Trigger, so who knows, without Ultima 2, we may have never had CT.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olga-Nillelund/100000462233621 Olga Nillelund

    Awww… I was hoping to see Spoony dance to the Spanish version of  “Hotel California”…

    *disappointed face* :c

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Porter/71306423 Brandon Porter

    Wait an evil enchantress as a brony I have the perfect theme song for this game now



  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Porter/71306423 Brandon Porter

    Wait an evil enchantress as a brony I have the perfect theme song for this game now



    • Anonymous

      *high fives*

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Konstantin-Akhmetov/100000303416185 Konstantin Akhmetov


    • Simoneer


  • http://twitter.com/S1imgamz Liam Iverson

    What is the name of the song during all the chase scenes? 

    • http://dragonacesg7.livejournal.com/profile Dragons_Dusk

      When he’s chasing the sorceress?
      I know it’s from Benny Hill, don’t know it’s exact title
      look up Benny Hill on youtube you should be able to find it/it’s name

    • Anonymous

      Yakety Sax

  • http://twitter.com/DateRyusei Felipe Fraile

    … you know, this whole “nothing is properly explained” is also something that happened to another second game of a continuity franchize … Castlevania 2 anyone?

  • Bob Linehan

    If I recall correctly,  bribing bartenders was a big part of gaining information, both in this game and in Ultima III.  Offering tavern keepers steadily increasing amounts of gold would result in bigger and better hints – including a hint about an old man living under “atree”.

  • Bill Cassinelli

    Another thing of note is that this game was heavily influenced by Time Bandits, as it was the first appearance of the moongates, as well as the main bad guy’s lair being called The Time of Legends”.

    As for Dupré on Jupiter wanting to buy a duck, Lord British used to use a lot of in-jokes back then, and at the time, he and his friends would play a drinking game called “Wanna Buy a Duck”. That running gag persists throughout the series, with Dupré mentioning it in Ultima V and VI. The rules of the game are mentioned here: http://www.barmeister.com/games/rules/471/

  • castchaos

    You could have mentioned that if we compare dates and character ages, it is calculated that Minax was, like, 9 years old when Mondain still lived. “Apprentice and lover.” Funny.
    I don’t know the actual dates, but I heard it was so. Maybe it’s just because Richard Garriot made up time intervals randomly, not realizing that if Mondain was killed X years ago, then that needs to be subtracted from Minax’s current age, and this way it might go too low… Or some intentional reference? Evil, evil Mondain…

    • r3verend

       She is a woman so she probably lied about her age ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nick-Lombardi/1051389484 Nick Lombardi

    She’s the evil enchantress, she does evil dances, when she looks in your eyes, she’ll put you in trances.

  • Mo Rahman

    Wow, and I thought the first game was nuts.

  • http://twitter.com/RyanTevious Tevious

    He was hiding the magic sword in the only place he could without being caught… his anus.

    • atypicaloracle

      It was for his son.

      • CheezMonster

        If only Christopher Walken had managed to deliver it to the poor boy…

  • http://www.facebook.com/AndyTheRoo Andrew Bulmer

    A Videodrome poster…I approve.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Captain.Lazer.Unicorn Dakota Lee Valiant Snellgrove

    If you went back in time and killed the dude before he became immortal in the first game doesn’t that mean that none of the rest of the series would have happened?

    • Daniel Tilson

      It depends on how far back in time you had to go. If only a couple of months, then nothing would have changed. If years, then you’d have a paradox like in the Legacy of Kain games.

  • jnywest

    I’m re watching the series…. I can’t believe they started almost two years ago!

  • Guest

    Has it really been two years! In that time I kicked out my housemate,
    moved in with my girlfriend, got married and had a child. Love all your reviews and stuff.

    Wow time flies!

  • Connor Smith

    Some dance to remember. Spoony dances to forget. I don’t know why the Enchantress dances, but rest assured that her dances are as evil as she is.

    • CheezeFox

      Well, that’s not how the song goes at all…

  • Perias Peln

    It seems you could mod these games to be a bit better. I mean if I can rename a sweetroll to be called a donut and it gives you the “Orcs Berserk” power in Skyrim why cant you make the characters give better clues? Unles the game is archaic and it seems a waste of time.

    • Aluminum Foil

      Partly that’s because of Bethesda’s game engine; they support modding right out of the box and all the databases and tables are immediately “human recognizable”. ~ Since these early games were coded in basic as far as I know, then that would be a fairly simple task as well… The later games however, would require someone to actually build some tools to convert the games databases into something humans can understand.

      However. This is sort of the divide between new, and oldschool gaming. Back in spoony’s (and mine for that matter). We didn’t have the internet, and our games were … Far from “streamlined”. ~ Obviously when they’re “literally freaking impossible, if I spend one more minuet on this I’m going to quite seriously die and explode”, then that’s no fun for anybody. (Rippers crystal puzzle is a perfect example of this) ~~ Buuuut, at the same time I’d hesitate to mod games tooo much. Part of their charm is that they were vague and unintuitive, it made solving the puzzle extremely rewarding. <3

  • Ryan Kaufman

    Several people say “Wow it’s been two years” and now it’s been four years. Crazy.

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